 Well, hello beautiful human today is the day after I got my leg It is sitting over by the Christmas tree like an insanely expensive Christmas present. We could never afford that without a second mortgage Thank God for health insurance that helps to pay for it. I'm still really excited and overwhelmed I've been keeping my leg elevated today because if it gets too swollen it won't fit So I'm trying to keep it elevated so that by the time my husband gets home I'll be able to practice walking around the house It's definitely harder to try to use it with crutches that it is like with the bars They have at the prosthetics facility, but that's okay I'm gonna learn to use it with crutches and then I'm gonna dish the crutches sooner than I know it So since we've last talked my accomplishments have doubled Not only have I recovered my leg, but I've also shattered a glass tea kettle on the wrong side of the kitchen. So like Our kitchen is like a long hallway and there's a wall at this end And I was here and I shattered the key tea kettle here So like I was stuck and the tea kettle was there. This is a terrible diagram Long story short. I had to crawl up onto the counter to escape my mess That was a proud moment for me. I am getting ready to put on my leg for the first time at home I am super excited to be able to do this and also a little bit nervous to do it without Prosthetist supervision, but I'm sure I'll remember everything right guys first problem is that like the liner and This part gets covered in dog hair and cat hair Because I live with so many animals We'll figure that out at a later point right now We're just gonna get the leg on but before we do that Like position the camera so that you guys wouldn't see that I actually live in a sea of blankets But I actually live in a sea of blankets. So I mean I just basically threw these all off the couch and then there's more Over by the fireplace. I mean you guys should try it sometime see a blanket living. I would definitely recommend so much hair I don't just so much hair. It's very upsetting If you're weird like I am this part still doesn't feel good No, it'll get there though time for the leg now something I had no idea about this may not be interesting to you if you're not an amputee or I guess you know this if you're an amputee, but this is Governed by a vacuum pump That's like how it stays on your leg along with everything else and so you have to roll this down Otherwise, it will like a vacuum pump onto your leg and give your leg a crazy hickey Which just doesn't sound like a great time. So then I'm pushing the back. This is like the vacuum pump button Allows my leg to actually get in there. Maybe real exciting. I know now here's something I found interesting Like I said, this is governed by a vacuum pump So if you see all my knee here, like there's not really an indentation It takes like 30 or 40 like really good heavy steps before the vacuum action actually like Works and the leg really sticks onto my leg and because I can't put full pressure on that can't really happen However, there's a workaround and it's the fact that it's the foot motion that also like pumps the vacuum pump So I can kind of trick it by moving the foot back and forth to get that vacuum pump working and get my leg Suctioned onto my leg. That's a weird sentence Okay guys, I've been practicing a little bit more walking and I just had my first moment of like, oh my god This is why I did this So I always used to do like a crossfit and was in the gym and all of that But there are a lot of things that I could never do or never do right And I would always modify them, but they would still hurt and one of those things and like the most basic level Was squatting and so when I would squat before because I had a fused ankle It would not move and so it would tweak my knee every time I would squat and my ankle would like have to move to the side Well, not my ankle my foot because my ankle was fused. I didn't have an ankle anymore And so it always caused issues with my knee. It would always hurt My form would always be off. It would cause issues in my hips and my neck and my back That's gone now Like how freaking awesome is that I can squat which is like a super easy Simple thing and it not cause issues the rest of my day. It's like the first moment of oh my god This is why I did this So that I can live life a little more pain-free now Right now things are a lot more painful because of the fall. It's so really hurt So I'm probably gonna take it off in a few minutes even though I've only had it on for a few minutes But I know that's gonna pass and so check it out guys I can like actually squat the right way though Don't critique my form because this is my second day wearing my leg so it doesn't look great yet This is probably not thrilling from where you're sitting but like The fact that I can do this and my knees and like all sideways It's so freaking awesome So we still have the leg on but I've been reading through some of your comments on my latest video about walking for the first time and I just Like I woke up to them this morning and they brought tears to my eyes. I honestly cannot Express to you How much your support means to me like it honestly blows my mind? I can't believe that there are So many people like you guys out there who care about what I'm going through and are invested in this journey with me and I Can honestly say that you have helped me so much feel less alone through all of this and made it so much less weird to transition and Going into this amputation was like Definitely the most bizarre thing I've ever done most bizarre decision I've ever made but Being able to interact with you guys and read your messages to me and write back has just been Incredible and has gotten me through so much of it where I might have gotten you know angry or bitter or just sunk and Stayed there You've helped me like really really really helped me and your excitement with me as I was able to walk for the first time Means the world to me. So from the bottom of my heart. Thank you Really really thank you I did manage to get upstairs to see my little rats here who I'm about to let up it out in a second But before I did that I did a very quick workout because I'm horribly out of shape but that's okay because I have been busy recovering from amputation surgery and I just started journaling because that has been on my list of things to keep me mentally healthy during this time like we talked about a few videos ago and The writing prompt I've been working with today It has to do with happiness and I want to share it with you guys and hopes that maybe you would help you my husband asked me the other day if I was happy and If I wasn't or if I was close to it or whatever What would really make me happy and my answer was you know I'm significantly happier than I was a couple years ago because I have done so much work on Past traumas in my life and many little work like through so much in my head I'm unhappy happy happy all the time obviously no one is but I think it has to do more with a sense of contentedness and I was thinking like if I pictured The moments in my life where I've lost myself That's what I see happiness as and those moments for me I'll share a couple and I'll leave the rest for myself to write down personally and share with you know my husband but Those moments for me have been moments like Sitting in a coffee shop when it's snowing outside just talking to my husband for hours or with a best friend or When I'm on the mats and jujitsu rolling I find so much just joy in there and I lose track of time It's like the moments I lose track of time or when I'm with horses or animals that I love and so that's my writing prompt today I'm writing down the moments I can remember in my life where I've just lost myself lost track of time And I think if I can incorporate more and more of those things in my life the things that make me feel less panicked Less stressed and more free more like time doesn't matter And you know definitely spending more time Just with the things that matter like we hear about all the time that I mean so few of us actually do I'm very guilty of that But I'm definitely trying that uh the world will be a better place right guys, so that's what I'm doing right now I hope that maybe that can help your days, and I look forward to talking to you soon She's now gonna systematically take all of these one by one. Oh Well, maybe not. Oh, no there she goes for the next one. She's arranging them around her cage in different corners I mean I think for the aesthetic feng shui is important to rats too guys