 All right. Now hopefully my phone worked decent. Turned the wifi off. My phone was acting up the other day. So y'all got to forgive me. But wanting to pop on here because I'm gonna be away from the live starting Sunday, Lord willing. And so I owe the bless tribe some live Q and A's because even though it's a very small situation with the bless tribe, I didn't try to be doing anything that was crazy but I kept getting them emails from YouTube about creating this little, the memberships using their little memberships. And when I signed up on the membership thing, I said I'm gonna do live Q and A's and I wanted to do them every Sunday but just with life, sometimes you're out of town, soccer, stuff like that. So I got to do them when I could do them. And although the bless tribe is $1.99, you know, you gonna have those, you gonna have a few people that always send their food back in a restaurant. So you gonna have those few people that no matter what the food taste like is going back. You know what, I don't like the way y'all did the A's. You need to do the A's again. So when you get them kind of people in your tribe, so what all do you get for the $1.99? You want me to give you a list? Everything, what you want me to twerk for the $1.99? What else, what else do you need? So I said, man, let me come on $1.99 and make sure I'm doing my Q and A, boy, because some folks will be aching up. Enjoy your God bless you. Now make sure you put your hashtag Q in front of your question when we get to that right there. Now sometimes I need to come on here and just talk. Like I be seeing other people be doing, I be on here slaving, answering all these questions. I be seeing other people on live, they just be talking. I'm like, well, well that's told to be a lot easier just to come on here and have me a soap box and just going to do some talking. But they're asking me complicated questions. Cause sometimes the questions I be getting, well Tony, you know, I lost my left kidney and wonder about my right kidney and want to know what do you think I ought to do about kidneys. And I'm like, huh, come on man, y'all got to help me out. I can't speak on everything. Hey Tony, you told us we should tell a man we're not dating no one else, but you also said don't ever present ourselves as optionless to a man. Can you explain? Well see, Breanne, the problem that you having right here is you mix in oil with water. So with any video or anything that I say is specific to that question or to that topic that I'm talking about. And so you can't take something from the Old Testament that says I for and I, and then compare to Jesus when he said forgive 70 times 70. 70 times seven or whatever he said. You see what I mean? So you have to look at the context of where I said that at. And so what I mean by is don't tell a guy that you dating other men, but don't look optionless. That's two separate scenarios. That's two separate cases. And what optionless means is that you at his every beck and call, you there when he called you at midnight, you picking up the phone. When you at work and you supposed to be working and he know you at work, you at the desk. Yes, I'm at work, I'm at work. That's when you optionless because he could put his thing on you as my mama called it. He could put his thing on you at any time. Now, not telling a man that you dating other men, what that mean is if you tell a man that you dating other men, you're giving him a license to cheat. He not just gonna hold that right there in that moment and say, oh, she's going on a date with other guys. He gonna look at it as she on her back. She get her back blowed out by her baby daddy, by her ex-boyfriend, by this other guy. Cause a man not gonna give you the benefit of the doubt. So those, not telling a man you dating other people and not looking optionless, apples and oranges. And the other thing is witness is everything that I say, you have to take it with a grain of salt because I'm speaking from a male perspective and the female mind will never fully understand the male perspective. And the opposite is true as well. The male mind will never fully understand the female mind. And so what you have to understand is anything you hear me or anybody else say online, you gotta take it with a grain of salt and you can't try to make it your Bible because you're gonna be lost in the sauce trying to understand everything because some things only make sense to the person saying it. Some poems only make sense to the author. So you have to be able to listen to it and if it doesn't jump off the page at you and just make a world of sense, that's not for you. That's not for you to apply because not every message is for you. Some message is gonna be for somebody else and it speaks directly to their situation. So I could say one sentence and what's understood don't need to be explained. So when you have to go and get all these deep, a lot of people be like, when I answer questions on the Q and A on Instagram, people are like, can you expound upon that? No, I can't. No, I can't because it's to the person who asked the question. And because they in that situation, they already know what I mean. They already know what I'm saying to them. Now, if you coming in and you're not dealing with that and you trying to understand it, it's not gonna make sense. So that's what I want you to do is take everything with a grain of salt. Don't treat it like it's the Bible. Ashley, God bless you, God bless you. Now I'm gonna be looking for y'all questioning here with the hashtag Q in front of it. And remember, this is not a paid Q and A. So this is only the blessed tribe members can chat, but the Q and A is free. Y'all don't have to send a, you don't have to send a super chat for me to ask you a question. You could put it right in the chat and I'm just going in order as I see them. And if I miss you, I'm gonna keep scrolling. So if you see I didn't answer, answer, answer, I didn't answer the one at the bottom and I ain't answer yours, then you could just post yours again. But don't be posting it 50 million, 11 times now, okay? 21, watch your vids on becoming an author. Currently writing first book, nervous but excited. Hope it's good enough. Did you find you improved as a writer after you wrote your first book? God bless. Yeah. Y'all forgive me, I'm a loving boy. Yes, I did. I became, what helped me improve as a writer is posting every day online, posting quotes every day online because you always got the comment editors. So they will tell you where your grammar is wrong at because a lot of people got degrees and can't get no good job with it. So they use it in the comment section to edit anything that you post on your page. And they'd be wearing a degree eye. Oh, you said this, but you should have said this. It is this, not this. And they'll post the correction and they'll put the asterisks beside it just to let you know I'm correcting you. And so I had so many mistakes coming from basically having a ninth grade education. Yeah, I graduated high school and went to college for 10 years, but I was hustling while I was in college and sleeping around and doing everything under the sun. So not knowing all the grammar rules, I learned so much just by posting every day and getting corrected by the audience, by people who had something to say. I'll be honest with you. And then the more you read and the more you see stuff, it's starting to help you. Erica, God bless you. I said to this guy, I can find a guy that will treat me better. He said, if that's what you want, then he texts me days later that I left my shirt at his place that he was throwing it away. Why would he text me that instead of just throwing it away? Sister, I hope you just was trying to bless me and you didn't send $50 to ask that question. Sister, come on now. I hope you just want to bless me because don't let these men cost you no money or they pay it ways. You see what I mean? I hope that just was a blessing and you just put a question in there. But because you could have put that in the chat. You could have put that in the chat. And this is another thing I want you all to understand. There's principles, there are principles, meaning that it's certain things that men do, that that's just what men do. Like it's just a male mindset. It's certain things that is almost across the board for every man. Like the way men look at money or being frugal or you got spenders and you got the frugal guys. And that's just the two type of men. You got faithful men and you got cheaters and that's just the two type of men. And so it's a lot of things about men where you just got two type of men, grown boys, grown men. When it comes down to little intricate stuff, no one will know the answer to that because that's that person. So if he was raised with an older brother and he got bullied all the time, if your daddy bullied them, they didn't make him a bully. But that won't be something that an outside man, another man can answer because that's just him and his personality. And so essentially, he just sent him mixed signals. He just sent him mixed signals. He just playing mind games. He just wanna get a rise out you. That's all it is because you told him that you could do better without him. Earth Angel, God bless you. Hey, Tony. Thank you. Can you please do a video on Bible verses that explain why we shouldn't be doormats. The difference between forgiving and being a fool. What I'll tell you is read the book of Proverbs. Read the book of Proverbs and then go on into the New Testament and start to read. I don't have specific, I'm not a theologian and I'm not a pastor. I'm a Christian. But when I read the Bible, I read the Bible for edification but not necessarily to teach it. So that would be more so something for like Pastor R.C. Blake's. Somebody who's an actual pastor and got a church and read the Bible to teach it. Somebody like myself, I read the Bible to feed me but I'm not jotting down the scriptures and remembering it and saying, hey, let me go teach a sermon on this. Let me teach a lesson on this. I'm a devout Christian who live by the word of God but I don't take and try to teach it. Like that. So my mind is a little different and I try to try my best to stay in my lane and operate in my calling on what I could do versus trying to be everything to everybody. So forgive on that. I'm not a jack of all trades or expert or guru or none of those things that they want you to put in your bio. Hey Tony, why does a guy keep you on social media? Why won't he unfollow you and keep looking? Why won't he unfollow you and keep looking at your stories? What does that mean? It does this right here. That's why God does it. To have you up at night wondering why he's doing what he's doing and that's the goal of it. It's just a mind game. He knows that you're gonna see that he's looking at your stories. And I'm gonna tell y'all one thing that's gonna free you in your life. Stop looking at who's looking at you. From this day forward, if you can have the power to stop clicking on your story to see who all watching you and just let whoever watching watch. And I'm gonna tell you that and I see for me it's a little different because if you have, it's a little different if you're not like a public figure or anything like that online because you may say what's a story. So that was just one scroll. But you still should take that practice from people who maybe thousands of people saw their story. And I'm gonna tell you, I don't went before to look probably five times, five to 10 times the look at who looked at a story. And that was the most draining thing in the world. And it just was kind of, it was bothersome. And I say, you know what, that's just too much. That's too much. So I really ask y'all stop looking at who looking at your stories and that's gonna free you. Because that way your ex could be watching you and you won't even know it. And the goal of him watching you is knowing human nature. He looks at who looks at his stories. So he assumes that you being a human just like him, you gonna look at who looking at your stories. And so that's how you get you. So when you, boom, you stop looking at your story where it's nine, you take that power back. I said, God bless you nine. Bro Tony, you have changed my life. Thanks to you, ain't nobody gonna catch me looking like who shot John forgot him. Hey, God bless you nine. Should I let my son answer his father's phone call after his father purposely hangs up on him? If his daddy purposely hung up on him, for one, you can't be so sure about purposely hung up on him. You know, that's speculation. You know, if you didn't hear his daddy say, I'm feeling a purposely hang up on your butt. Bye. You know, if the phone, if it just hung up, it could've, service could've went out, phone could've died. So when you talking about a father son relationship, you can't be, you know, be just grabbing for the scrolls, looking for a reason not to let the daddy talk to his son because you thought his daddy purposely hung up on him. Now, if it happens three, four, five, six, seven times in a row, now you know, okay, sum up. Now you step in as an adult and you talk to him, hey, are you hanging up on your son intentionally? And now when you figure that out, now that's when you're in a place to where you can, you know, step in and help your son. But if at all possible, you wanna try to keep that, keep that relationship, you know, going. But if it look, if it gets to the point to where your child heart is being hurt, then as a parent, your first job is to protect your child and their emotional and spiritual and mental well-being. What should I do if he is convinced I am his wife and I don't believe he is my husband? I have tried to break up with him two times and we've broken up before my decision and he has improved in the areas needed. Listen, this is what I'm gonna tell you and this what you got to understand is that as a woman, a woman's heart is more gear to war love, gear for love than a man's. Men love just as hard, but it takes us longer because of all of societal norms around for men. As far as you need to be a womanizer, that determine how much of a man you are, you need to have a bunch of women, you can't trust women, women cheat as much as men, but they do it better. So it's so much that holds a man back from just purely loving, that a woman doesn't really factor in a lot of times. So when you as a woman don't want a man, that's the end of the relationship, the relationship done, the relationship done. Cause it's hard enough to get a man to like a woman, to want a woman to want to be married. So when you don't want him, it's something real off. It's something real off because a lot of women settle for all kind of ignorant stuff that men be doing. You know, when you look around, it's a lot of guys getting over on a woman because a woman's heart is geared for love. So when you as a woman don't want the relationship, just like they're saying, can't nobody love you but your mama? That's how it is. A lot of times in relationships for a lot of men, it's like, ain't nobody loving you but your girlfriend, but your wife. And so that's, you got to listen to that. Making God bless you now. He was disrespectful. I cut him off. He went sleeping around and claims he did it out of hurt because I left. Is this a lie? How do men use this claim? It's very true. In a lot of cases, it's very true. And so that's not necessarily a lie, because I remember a guy met a long time ago and his brand never took off to my knowledge because I don't see him around anymore. But he wrote a book that said, men don't heal, we age old. And I was like, man, that's a dope title. That's very, very true. And that's what most men do out of pain because see what you got to realize is y'all got to forgive him on my three-step treatment. Got my, got the moisturizer on my face, face shining, ain't oiling, not that moisturizer. This hill is glow. My wife got me and my son on the three-step face treatment. So that moisturizer would be lit up like a crevice tree. So what you have to understand is that orgasm produces a release from your brain. So when you get that release of that feel good, what y'all oxytocin and all the extra stuff, that's a high. And so when a man, just like when you're in pain, what you do? You get your pain pill or you smoke you some weed or you drink you some alcohol, whatever your thing is. Or you go, you know, messing around, hands are low. And so when a man is hurting, that's one of his outlets is to sleep around. So that's actually a real thing that grown boys, when we are grown boys that we do. Sunshine, J God bless you. I slept with my neighbor in just two weeks. I like him, but now I never hear from him. Should I reach out to him or just leave him be? Just leave him be, you know, you can't chase the man. You got to take that one on the chin, literally, proverbially, metaphorically, because you slipped up, you slipped up, you took a stupid pill, you got on your back, and this is the repercussions of it. So as an adult, you got to look at that and say, you know what, that was a stupid choice I made. And now this is what come with it, being ghosted, because you gave him the reward, gave him the medal before he even ran the race. So honestly, and this is what I try to help y'all understand, is just because a person will accept something from you, it doesn't mean that's what they want from you. And so you have to know who you are and what your standards are and what you stand for. Because a lot of times we expect humans to be decent and we expect the human to be like, hey, I'm not gonna accept this $1,000 because this is gonna put you $1,000 in the deficit and you should be saving your money for retirement. So I don't wanna accept your $1,000. If you're getting ready to get somebody your last $1,000, oh my goodness, thank you so much, oh my goodness, thank you. They finna take your $1,000 and it was on you. I was telling my wife that the thing, because I got these shoppers that get me stuff for her and one of the shoppers hit me, boom, sent me this like Sunday and then shopper wrote me today. Now I wrote the shopper about some outfits, me and my wife wanted outfit, me and my wife wanted, then she sent me something else. And I'm like, I just spent this right here amount of money, why she sending me something else? And then the other shopper wrote me, sending me two items and I asked her about a different item and then she sent me something else. And I told my wife, I said, you know what? These folks do have no mercy on your pockets and they expect for you to be a good steward over your money. But if you gonna spend your last dollar, if you gonna go in the credit card at the shop, them, they finna get you for everything you were. They not gonna say, I just got this off of you so I'm gonna leave you long. No, they will hit you the next day and the next day and the next day. And that's what you have to understand when you're dealing in a relationship is that a person will take from you anything you willing to give. So if you willing to sleep with somebody in two weeks, they gonna lay you down on your back. If you willing to let somebody move in with you and a little rent free, that's exactly what they gonna do. You let somebody use your car, they gonna use it and wreck it. Anything you willing to give, a person gonna accept it from you. But that don't mean that's what they wanted. And so that's what you have to realize and understand that when you sleep with this man, before you even know this man, he can have all kind of health, HIV, swimming through his blood, self a little month so he can have that 19, two weeks you don't even know the man. And so if you sleep with him, guess what he finna take that but what he's gonna do is he gonna judge you by it and say, wow, she slept with me in a third, two weeks. I ain't have to work, I don't want that. But see what I hear so many women say, well, oh, well he slept with me too. So he just is wrong. Like listen, you can't worry about what somebody else doing with their life, you got to worry about what you doing with your life because your consequences is your consequences, their consequences, their consequences. A guy I've been dating for months calls me, unbothered all the time, calls me unbothered. I'm unbothered all the time. All right, that again, all right, that again. How to get more watch hours on YouTube. What you have to do really is make longer videos. So if you make a video that's like an actual lesson to where you got sections and you really teaching and you, or you hitting several different points. Like my video today was an hour long and I hit different points in that hour and I was able to tell us few stories and it walked me through that hour. So what happens is somebody will turn that video on and they'll just let it play while they sleep. That is a watch hour. Somebody will turn it on while they clean in the house. And so that turns into more watch hours on your channel. And so, but if you're doing three minutes, seven minutes, it'll take you forever to get the watch hours you need. Humble and grateful God bless you. Now hold on, before that, that was Naomi Luck, God bless you now. Joining the Bless Business Trial, how do I motivate myself to stick to a diet so I can lose weight? I gained it and I hired a trainer. You're doing it right there. You're doing it right there. But to be honest with you, I'm the wrong person. You know, let's say Bless Business Trial, you know, not Bless Body Trial, not Health and Wellness Trial. I'm the wrong person to ask about that right now. So you got to ask for Health and Wellness or Fitness Trainer about that. I can't tell you stuff I barely do because I stay skipping the workout. You know what I mean? I just got done eating a fried chicken sandwich. So I'm more so a relationship coach out of the life coach and business, relationship and business, body, health and wellness, and somebody else out there for you. Listen, like I try to tell y'all, I appreciate y'all trusting me to speak into your life but I can't speak on everything. I speak on what I can speak on. You see what I mean? So God bless you, Sister Nara. God bless you. But you're doing the right thing. A guy I'm dating says I come off as being unbothered often. Why? That's a good thing. Because he probably, the last woman he was with probably was overly questioning him and checking him, where you at? What you doing? Why you didn't call him? Why you didn't say that? Why you didn't do that? What you at? I don't believe that. So right now, this is all I know what you're doing. Okay, and then right on what you're doing. And so if you're not doing all of that, he probably like, man you chill. What's going on? But that's the best way to be. But you got to make sure it's real. Don't go from being unbothered to being overbothered because that's when he gonna lose all respect for you. So don't be playing the role. Hi Tony, I've listened and applied your knowledge with gratitude. I'm planning to start forming an LLC, are there any organizations you might connect me with? My goal is to see a second opinion. Send an email in, see it's good. And cause I'm not a hundred percent sure what you're talking about. But I also, you know, this not a private Q&A just for the whole world. And some of this stuff be, if I say a business name, if 10,000 people see this video, that business just got 10,000 free of charge. And that's business and I don't like doing stuff for businesses because they actually pay people to do that. And a lot of times it's always us, people of color that don't get paid. And we be sharing all these businesses and promoting all these businesses. And then they'll go run somebody else a check who talked proper and who look a certain way. And then they'll come to us and they be in my inbox all the time offering me peanuts. And I'll be like, come on, bro, I do business. You finna come in here and offer me $200 to promote you to hundreds of thousands of people for $200, what do I look like? I look like I just got off a slave ship yesterday. And but that's how they treat you. So, you know, y'all have to sign up for a session with me or email in or if you are a student in one of the courses or on the blessed business tribe, this is for the blessed tribe. This is not the blessed business tribe. That's where you ask the old questions that where if I'm shot, not a business or give you a referral to a business and that's a lesson for y'all to learn too. Don't just be shot, not businesses and stuff because it's business. It ain't friendship, it's business. How long before your growth group closes before I can join? I honestly don't know. I don't have a set date for it. So it could close tomorrow. It could close, you know, in two months. I don't have a set date for it. I just kind of go by feel, by feel of the heart. If I feel, you know, go into the group chatting I feel like the group is complete and I want to shut it down for a while until some members graduate from it or can no longer be a part of before I open up. I don't have a set date for it. The growth group is a mastermind group for those of y'all wondering. And it's on tonigashkinsacademy.com. Sometimes you put the link in here to tonigashkinsacademy.com. What's a group? We got a group chat and we have monthly calls and things of that nature. So if you're in the growth group, I'm still going through y'all DMs to me in the group chat on our, because we're on the Slack app. So I'm still going through the question, the one-on-one questions. And so that's one of the benefits of the growth group. They message me personally in the app and I'm able to answer their question that's directed and specific for them. Hello, I've been trying to upgrade my membership to the business group for the last few weeks, but I can't, is there something I'm doing wrong? I don't know, I've seen that quite a bit, but on a post on the community page, I saw some people give some instructions on it, but you may have to just write in to the help or support on YouTube to see. I'm honestly not really sure how they got that set up. I just get an email that say, hey, do this right here. And I clicked a few buttons and do that. And then I, but on the technical side of it, I really don't know what YouTube got going on. So an engaged couple live together. It's a personal choice. A lot of time what we call shacking up is not shacking up. Shacking up is when you sleeping together. So you could be sleeping together and not living together and you still shacking up. And so when you living together and you not sleeping together and you know you're not gonna sleep together because you know you have that level of self control, that's not actually shacking up. Now you just like, you roommates, just like in a dorm room, just like in a co-ed apartment. That's essentially what you are. If you're not gonna be sleeping together. You essentially just splitting the rent and you co-ed roommates. And a lot of people get that confused. But not the bad thing about it is, is if you engage and you are of a faith that believes you should wait until marriage, then no, you shouldn't live together because if you getting ready to get married, you might as well just hold out till you get married because when you move in, that could put you in a state of complacency so when that marriage, they get pushed back more and more and more. So the fault should be is dating and going out and having dates and talking to each other as much as possible so that you really get to know each other better and you fall in love. So that way when you move in together and he had a little bit of crud in his drawers or you mesh around and leave that tampon floating, y'all not completely disgusted because y'all have fallen in love with each other. And that's the thing that people do wrong. A lot of times you move in before you even love somebody, before you're in love with somebody. So now any little thing they do, you lose in your mind because it's a pet peeve of yours and you're like, oh, oh, oh. And that's why a lot of people who live together never end up getting married and end up being just in a relationship for five, 10, 15 years because they moved in playing house before they fell in love. And it's a lot of little stuff that go on in the house that if you're not in love with a person, it could really throw you off. Naomi, God bless you. Boyfriend died, said I could not come because I could get sick. Said I would when I said I wanted to come anyways. Well, sister, sound like to me he loved you because a lot of men would have been in that situation and would have been coughing and sick and say, yeah, come on, see me, I need to see you. But it sound like he loved you to me. And God bless you, God bless you because it looked like they say died unless that's the typo but it looked like they say to me that he died. So it sounded like to me he was trying to save you. And so I'll be more thankful than anything for that. Does it matter who leads the convo on a date? Quiet and shy, don't know what to say, feel like God's wait on me to start talking. No, it don't matter. But if you quiet and shy, just be you. And if he can't pick up that you quiet and shy, and he can't get you to talking and get you to open up and create a safe space and how you feeling comfortable then that's not your husband. Because what you got to understand, your husband gonna fit you like a piece to a puzzle. So wherever you lacking, he gonna fit right around you just like a puzzle piece. And so that's what you have to understand. So, you know, with me, I'm an introvert, very quiet and shy. My wife, she very bubbly, she is a talker. And so she able to pick me up in the areas that I'm lacking in and vice versa. God bless you, brother. Amara bless you and I. On no contact, six months healing, but need my important memorabilia tapestry from Italy Black back. Should I have my sister reach out to his mother, we got on very well for his older sis, thank you. Yes, you should. You on no contact, have somebody else reach out that he'll talk to, have somebody reach out. Hi, Tony, I'm a member of the bless tribe and I don't have access to the videos in the playlist. Should I renew my membership? Thank you. You a member of the bless tribe, the videos you don't have access to those videos are for the bless business tribe. So that's something, that's a different group. So in those videos are only business videos, but I believe what they said is under the video, you'll see where it says see perks. And when you click that, it'll show you the bless business tribe if you want, if you building a business, building a personal brand or a business in those business videos will help you. That's what those are for. Hey Tony, why do guys have a hard time apologizing when they are dead wrong for something they did to you that led to you being done with him? Because that's vulnerability. And when you look up the definition of vulnerable, it means open for attack. So a lot of men live on attack and a lot of men are afraid to be open and to be vulnerable because it makes him feel like he can be attacked. And so he keeps his guard up and he won't go into a space of vulnerability because it makes him feel weak. So that's just a man who has not grown or evolved into his highest self when a man can't apologize. It's also a sign of a man who doesn't love you. So that's what you have to realize. Hey Tony, I'm not a parent yet, nor am I in a relationship, but I have always had a strong desire to be a mother in the future, an amazing one. Is it okay to purchase the parent course in TGA? Yeah, absolutely sis. You, whatever you want to person, whatever you want to person, there ain't no limitations on there. So in and everything that you feel a benefit to, you're welcome to it. Just like when people say, Tony, can I repost it? If I put it out on the public, world wide well, then yeah, you can repost it because it's for the world wide well. You see what I'm saying? So anything that I have that's out there that you feel like you could benefit from, you're welcome to it. How long to wait to get your things from his house when you're done? Immediately, because the longer you wait, the more chances it'll end up at the goodwill. Somebody charity, somebody, what have you. So immediately get to it. What does it mean when a man who I dated and then rejected asks me if I'm mad at him? That he just wanna have some conversation. What is your advice on praying for the husband I don't have or know yet? I think that's a great idea because really a prayer, you talking to God, but it's also shaping your mind for to move you into a place of expectation. So the prayer is really also is for you as well because it's getting your heart ready so that if you praying for a specific thing when you see it, you gonna know it. Is it safe to say that guys who like slash watch nasty pics, videos have lust issues that I may never be enough for them in that department. Yes, it is. It is safe to say that. Can you recommend a non-profit mentor? Send me an email, send me an email on that. And we also have coaches, business coaches on MyMentor.Life who what they have done is they've started a LLC and a non-profit and even if they haven't started their own non-profit they know how to start one. They know they have the insight on it and they can walk you through it. So when you go on MyMentor.Life you able to select the section, the topic that you wanna touch on. I have been three years, is it okay to be intimate with a past partner not involved in a relationship? No, Jelisa, that probably be one of the worst things you could do. You just keep that frustration, get your own bicycle, get your bicycle with a hard seat, let the bicycle, get a little massage while you're riding, while you're doing that pedaling and getting them endorphins out you that way. But that'll be the worst thing you can do, go start sleeping with somebody cause you sleep with him with no ties, with no commitment. He don't care nothing about your body so he could be sleeping with prostitutes, he could be sleeping with anybody and he bringing all that bacteria right back to you and you going for a momentary fix that could lead you with a lifelong disease. So I definitely would not recommend that, make sure. I've been separated two years, my whole 20th. Whenever I ask for a timeframe or a continuous, why, time, you're wasting all your time. Remember when the actions don't line up with what's coming out of his mouth, it's time to move on about your life. Make wise do you have for someone young and wanting more in their life, advice on trusting God, not myself. I'll tell you one of the things you could really start doing is make sure you're not watching too much. Make sure you're not watching too many other people because one of the things that happen the most is we get so caught up looking at what other people are doing and we start comparing it to our life and we compare our behind the scenes to somebody else highlight reel and we start to feel bad about our life and we start to question our life and it makes us want more out of life when we could be on the right path with a great trajectory and things going in the right way and we'll step away or lose what we have comparing what we have to somebody else facade that they showing us online. So you have to be very careful and always choose to be grateful and content with what you have while you're working toward what you want. I told him I'm a quiet person by nature. I've become comfortable with myself in social situations when others find it strange. What you got to do is you're gonna have to start affirming yourself. So you literally can get a three by five card and right on that card, the things right on the card the truth to the lies that you tell yourself. So for me, I would always tell myself, Tony, you country, man, you country, man, and so everybody don't think you dumb. And Tony, you ain't got no college degree. So that mean you dumb. That mean you less than. That mean you're not qualified to do what you call to do. So what I had to do is I had to come up with truths that will say, you know what, your country accent is what's gonna make you unique. Your country accent is what's gonna make you stand out. Your country accent will actually make smart people trust you. It'll make you endearing to them. And so I had to tell myself a different truth than what the negative of the world, those stereotypes have put on me. And instead of feeling like I'm less than and I got to prove something, I have to daily remind myself that I'm worthy and I don't have anything to prove and who is for me will be for me. And I ain't got the bag, nobody, ain't got to try to win nobody over, ain't got to kiss nobody behind that if they for me, they for me. And so that's what you got to start telling yourself and it'll boost your confidence when you're out and about. Cause a lot of times what make us quiet and shy are the lies that we just keep feeding ourselves. You know, we telling ourselves, oh, you are there, oh, you on a tractor, oh, you overweight, oh, you sound dumb, oh, your voice don't sound good, oh, your face look like this, oh, your skin complexion is, oh, your body like this. And we tell ourselves all of this stuff. What does it mean when a guy who said he didn't want a relationship asks you to move to a city closer to him when he finds out I'm moving and gets upset when you say no, been talking since November. It just mean he want you on a roster. You're a placeholder, you just a place filler. That's all it is. Any, have tips on how to stay in your lane, not overextend yourself in business. I enjoy being creative, writing, publishing, speaking, singing. Am I doing too much by pursuing it all? Thanks so much. I hope you're in a blessed business tribe. That'll be a good thing for you, where we really go deep in there, but on those business talks. But what I would say to you is you really have to sit down and I got a video, but it might just be for the blessed business tribe to where you have to sit down and write out your gifts and write out the pros and cons and see where you're strongest at. So I could talk on business, but it's so many people that could talk on business from so many angles. So although I know something on business because I've been an entrepreneur for over a decade, I still don't weigh more about relationships because if I'd been in over a hundred relationships but I haven't started over a hundred businesses, that mean I'm gonna know more about relationships than I do business. So I will speak on relationships first and then when somebody has grown in their relationship and their self love, and then they start their company, they get ready to start their business, then I can help them in that area. But I help them love themselves, heal from the past, heal from the breakup, change their mindset, then tap into their gifts and then build their business. So I was able to walk them through, but my strength first was on self love and healing and relationships. And then the next thing which I'm strong at but not as strong would be business. So none of your gifts are all equal. So you may like singing, but if nobody has offered you a record deal, nine out of 10 times, it mean that you can't sing. So you may have a passion for singing but not have a gift for singing. The same with writing and publishing and anything. See, the thing about it is you see this book deal? This book deal was a six figure book deal and it came with two books. And it was a six figure book deal and it took me 10 years till I got to that point before I got the book deal. So I was self publishing and then that book deal was confirmation that, hey, you can do what you think you could do. So in your actual areas of your gift, you're gonna be a firm. In the actual areas where you gift it, you're gonna find traction when you do those things. And the other areas that you may be passionate about but not gifted at, it's gonna feel like you're just spinning your tires in the mud. So you got to go where you strong at first. I'm not dating right now, but in the past I was uncomfortable whenever guys on dates would hug me and I don't usually feel comfortable hugging a guy. I don't know, what do I do? Well, since you got to step back a little bit, guy get ready to hug you, you stick the hand out there. Stick the hand out there, let them know you finna do a handshake. You see what I mean? So in a time of peace you prepare for war. So what that means is in a time of peace, that's when you do all the work and you come up with your plans and you do everything you need. So when you get back out there, you already set up and you strong for it. You already ready. Appreciate the moderators. Thank y'all, God bless y'all to the moderator who helped me out on here. Now I see y'all in there. God bless ya. Cam, El, God bless ya. Hey T, being a single mom of one, breastfeeding my son for two years really messed up my body. It messes with my confidence that I want to get married. It's surgery too much. So that's a personal choice. You know, that's a personal choice. As to a man, the man that you're gonna be with nine out of 10 times, he's not gonna mind. He's not gonna mind. A lot of men help pay for it, you know. So I've seen that, been around that. In every woman I know whether she, regardless of her race, regardless of her religion, regardless of how shy she is, how introverted she is, now by every woman that I know, trying to get to talk to somebody, to get them a lift, to get them a tuck, to get them a nip. So I got to the point to where I stopped judging it because I can't understand it. Because that's not my body. I'm not a woman. I don't understand the pressures of a woman. So as a man, I don't have the place to speak to what a woman does with her body because I'm not under the pressure of what a woman is under. Because I'd never had the breastfeed, you know, on my chest and side too, but it ain't the same as a woman. And so I literally, you know, seen that. And I get it. And then your head is like, you know, your thing might be slapping your kneecap in your head, but in reality, somebody else might barely notice it, but it's a personal thing. And I remember hearing Zick Ziggler, who, you know, motivational speaker, and I was listening to his podcast and he was talking about how his daughter had ears that'll stick out and she ain't like her ears. And he says she went and got a surgery to get her ears pinned back. And when she got her ears pinned back, he was just talking about how her smile just changed and she was so happy and smiling and friendly with them ears pinned back. And I was like, man, you know, an old school guy from Yazoo, Mississippi, and he okay with his daughter going to get surgery, get their ears pinned down. I'm like, well, I guess I could change my viewpoints on around this stuff. So that's exactly what I did. So that's a personal choice here. But listen now, sometimes it'd be complication with that stuff too, now. So you got to be careful, do your research. Go to a five star, don't go to no four star, go to a five star, cause I got family that have died on that table too. So you got to understand that. I live in a small town in the dating pool, especially dating God's way is zero to know what are your suggestions, recommendations for exploring other options to be seen or found during the pan. You might need to start looking into moving. Get to mean that much to you. And you know, online dating, that's a disaster. That's a disaster. I ain't heard one good, real, tested, tried and true story about online dating. I done seen some situationships, I done seen some co-parenting, some babies be made, and I done seen some marriages from online dating, but not nothing longevity, not nothing with longevity. Ain't heard nobody come to me and say, I am extremely happy in my marriage. I cannot foresee a divorce coming ever and I've been married for 10 years. I have not heard that from the thousands of people who write me about that online dating. So to be honest with you, you might want to look into moving a lot of the big cities are full of people from a smaller city. How do you know a guy's genuine in their pursuit? To be honest with you, that's something that you just going to know because you're going to be able to feel it. And I could tell you some signs, but a pimple will do the same thing. A woman also do the same thing. So I'll be lying to you. So it's something that you have to lean on your intuition. How can I tell if a man, he says he's straight. If you got the wonder, then he probably not straight because it's just a straight man going to give you a certain type of vibe and a man who like him a man, he gonna give you another kind of vibe and you as a woman, you are a woman. So you are feminine energy. So you know what feminine energy feel like and you know what masculine energy feel like. So when you witness man and you starting to feel more of a woman from him than a man from him, that's your intuition letting you know that sister girl, hey, he done. That he might have more feminine in him than masculine. And it could be what I see with a lot of them guys. The first guy I met that was like that he had a mama and four sisters. And so he listening to them talk about, ooh, this man's, ooh, he's so hot. Ooh, this man's so fine. Ooh, this man look good. Ooh, this man look that. So he listening to his four sisters comment on the anilines, on a man booty, on a man stomach, on a man smile, on a man muscles. So his mind start to shift and start to look at men like that. And I remember when we was in the sixth grade, you know, when it came out that he like that. And when I remember I talked to him one time, we was in a hood, come on auntie lived in the hood. And he was like, well, man, I got a mama and four sisters. So it's just, it's just only right. All right. Playboy, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, good scene. Now boy, hey, hey, keep your head up now. Keep doing what you don't know, keep your head up. And so you have to be able to feel that and kind of, because today, it's happening a lot today. And a lot of guys, especially depending on his culture, you know, his race, a lot of guys, they, in certain countries, if a man come out like that, it could be for Nito. And so that same mentality is over here a lot in America. So a lot of guys are afraid to come on out of there because of where they come from. And so they get them a woman as a cover up. And then when they on the road and they doing they think like they on the road for business or whatever, they on their phone, what they lock screen, that's when they get, they mask on the end. That's when they get them that down. You got to understand that now. I fell out my phone screen just went, hey, TG, I was an empath in the past and notice now through trials, I have traits of apathy, prayer, life, good. However, I still feel I have no emotions. No, advice please and thank you. Sis, you probably need therapy because see in coaching, we don't deal in terminology. You know, in coaching, we don't deal in, in terminal in labels and diagnosis and things of that nature. So that's a little outside of my scope. You, what's he a therapist and a doctor, you know, or a therapist who is not a doctor, they will understand terminology because they studied the different personalities and the different type of people. So they'll understand those terms and really what it means and they may have a, and they may have a treatment plan for you. Jenna, God bless you. What to watch out for while dating someone in the NBA? Now, what kind of dollar sign that is? Nah, it's $199, but the way that dollar sign look, what, that's $1.99? Nah, I'm gonna tell you this here now. If he in the NBA, he got some money. It means probably at least six figures. And so what money does for a man is it make a man want variety. You know, I see, I remember looking at a seven figure man he was at a restaurant. He said, give us one of everything. That's how men with money get. You just get to where you want variety. So you have to be very careful when you meet a man and you didn't help him build to his money. When you meet a man and he already got his money, you could very well be a flavor of the rainbow or another flavor of the week. So you have to be careful with what you do with your body. Don't go in there and be like, ooh, he got money and have your legs open because you'll get used just for that. So what you have to do is keep your leg closed and your ears and your eyes open. And you see if he wanna get to know you for you. If he wanna know you as a person or if he was looking for him another flavor of the week. And that's what's gonna tell you what you need to know. Joy, God bless you now. When do I know I'm being co-dependent? Okay, co-dependent. Okay, that one little typo slipped in there and that meant a whole nother thing. I'm like, what now? Brazil, the Blanco, clingy and just wanting relationship, healthy communication. Boyfriend doesn't text nor call frequently. Takes long time to reply to my texts and calls says at the moment, he's busy. Joy, I don't normally do this. I do this, Joy. What you need to go and be done with that relationship tonight, tonight. That man that don't want you a bit more than a man on the moon. That hitter man don't want you at all. You hear me? A man doing you like that right now and you calling him a boyfriend and you getting pushed to the side and treated like an option. You got to wake up and smell the foliage in the morning on that real quick. Real quick, you got to smell the foliage in the morning. Trust me on that now. Eson, William, God bless you. I desire to be married and I'm starting to feel like it's not happening. I'm 26 and I feel like I'm running out of time to actually have kids too. Eson, God bless you. Eson, God bless you now. Bless you, bless you. Y'all millennials is something else. Y'all millennials is a mess. Y'all is something else. Y'all want everything in a microwave. Eson, do you know I'm on the phone coaching women in their 70s and waiting on their husband? Women in their 60s, women in their 50s, women in their 40s. If I let one of my clients, 40 and up, read your message. They'll be ready to slap you in your mouth. What girl? I've been out here single, abstinent on my face before the Lord crying out and ain't got no husband. You 26 year old. Girl, you barely got how, where you supposed to have a hell at and you crying about a husband. I'm trying to tell you. Hey listen, you got more than enough time. Don't even start worrying for the next 20 years. Like you is a absolute baby. That's what we call a spring chicken. It's like 26 years old. Come on now. Come on now. We're about your money. We're about your money. We're about your degree. We're about your business. Get your esthetician license. Get your eyelash license. And you know, open your business. Jesus is our whole God. Hey Tony, what do you think about women that deal with men that don't do anything for their children? It's just a woman who probably had a daddy who didn't do much for her. And she was chasing his love and wanted his love. And now she want this other man love. You know, just a woman seeking approval, seeking love. You know, she broken, she hurting herself. She don't know her word. Thank you God bless you. Hi Tony. Thank you. Do you have a mentor that co-parents and supervisors? Do you have a mentor that co-parents and supervisors visits with a, our daughter had, and he uses that to keep me around. Need help from someone with similar experience. No, since I have not heard that specific situation, that specific experience, we do have autistic caretaker coaches on my mentor. So it would be good to go look at those coaches who coach individuals who are taking care of an autistic child or an autistic person. You know, it could be a family member. And those individuals may be able to point you in the right direction. So when you go on my mentor.life, you click hire a coach. And then when that comes up, you'll click here to the filter. Then on the filter, you'll see the subject and you click the subject and you scroll down and you'll see autistic caretaker coach or something like that. But it says something like autistic or autism. You click that and it'll show you all the coaches. And then you can read their bios. And one of their bios may speak to you and you can work with them. Sasha, God bless you. What does it mean when a man says he's physically attracted to me, but doesn't see us as husband and wife. We've been intimate on and off for years. It means that you're wasting every second of your life that you're dealing with that man. You was wasting every single second of your life and you would not get a single one of those seconds back. And when you finally on your death bed, you're gonna look back and wish you had all of that time back. So that means that this very day, you need to cut him off for absolute good and never talk to him again. Because you have to understand your body should not be given to somebody that you don't have a commitment from until death do you part. Because you just put in your life and your body and your mind and your heart and everything at risk for someone who only sees you as a piece of me. They see you as an option. So you got to understand and realize that down now. Sabrina, what to know if I should get my own apartment? Want to know if I should get my own apartment, 26. If Sabrina, that's a woman's name. To be honest with you, a man really 20-year-old men still living at the house with a parent. So it just depends on your culture. And so if you there and you working and you stacking money, then you doing a good thing. First name, last name, God bless you now. So don't feel pressure about moving out and getting on an apartment and having to eat bills. And when you got your parents and they are covering because when you dating this man, he not gonna look at you like a child. He understand it. He understand that it ain't easy to get out here and pay that bill for no reason to be living going into this place by yourself when somebody could be following you, somebody could be watching you. And so a real man not gonna judge you for being at home. Unless you at home and you living off your parents and you don't wanna work, you don't wanna go to school. You just wanna stay up all night, sleep in all day and eat up all their grocery. That's when you'll get judged. My older sister has a business and my ex still goes to her for her services. My sister then tells me updates about his life even though I told her to stop, how to address, stop answering no calls. Stop answering your sister calls and say, listen, I'm not talking to you. I'm not answering your calls because you keep violating me. I told you I don't wanna hear nothing about him, hear nothing about his name. And so instead of being a friend, you must be my enemy because if you've ever been in a relationship and you had to get over somebody, then you know what it's like when somebody keep bringing their person name up. So you're a little nasty behind, you got to read her left to right and let her know by herself and then go on ahead. How active should you be in your boyfriend's life if it hasn't been a year? No money, don't invest no money. You could be active in his life, you could support him, you could speak life into him. But the one thing you should not do is give a man physical money, like physical cash. Like you could pay for a date, if he paid for a date, you pay for a date, y'all go dutch on some dates. You know, you come up with the date idea, he come up with the date idea, like y'all mutual right there, but it should never be, here go $500, here go $1,000, here go $5,000. And coach so many women that it's like, and I'm hearing, oh, I gave him $2,000. This other one, I gave him $6,000. This other one, I gave him $10,000. This other one, I spent $20,000. You know, this other one, I spent 90% of my life savings. And I'm like, wow, and all of this was for men that wasn't a husband. And so that's one of the biggest mistakes right there. Separated ex cheated one second chance, says willing to be fully transparent. I'm hesitant to try again. Well, you gotta look at the work that he's done. And you gotta ask yourself, what work has my ex done? Has my ex gotten coaching, read books, going to church? Like, does my ex look different, walk different, talk different? Like, does it feel like a new person? Or does it feel like the same old same? Dating the guy for one month asked me to check on his house while he's out of town. I said, no, because we just met. He said he find someone else to do it. I said, okay, that's fine. Then he said, that was too easy. What's easy? I don't know, sis. I don't even know. I don't even know. And I ain't never be honest with you. I mean, as you check on his house, that really won't even be a big deal. To be honest with you, it's be different if he said, come sleep at my house with me. But to check on his house, you could just roll by there. Hey, I checked on there, everything was good. Even if he asked you to step in there, it's like, okay, I'm stepping in there. It's like a man invite you to check on his house. That obviously must mean he ain't got no other women's shoes there. He ain't got no other woman living there. Just out of nose in this, I would've been like, oh, yo, okay, yo, where the key at? I'm ratting check thing or not. Just get me a little intel. I'm gonna put my little bug under the lamp. Like I used to do the dope boy, my little bug, you get on back home, listen to everything, what's that? But see, you better than me. So God bless you, sis. Then that's one thing though, which all ladies it's like, come on now. I'll be telling y'all to have standards, but sometime y'all be going overboard. Like, ugh, it is the first date. Do not make eye contact with me. This is the absolute first date and you make an eye contact already. It's like, I don't want y'all have to, I ain't this thing through now because it ain't just no plethora of amazing men running around out here. So you don't wanna be putting a good man to the fire over nothing. Like you really got to really think this thing through now and make sure that you're not just running somebody off, you know, with all these stipulations, you know, all this fine print. Because it's like, you got to make sure your past trauma, your past pain, the things you've been through when you've been lied to and mistreated and disrespected that you're not bringing that into this new situation with a good guy and you're holding him to the fire and you got him paying the price for somebody else doing your dirty. Rosé, I get nervous on dates and have a hard time. Hey, God bless you now. Hard time keeping up with conversation. Any advice for an introvert on what to do to get out of the talking stage? Well, if you're introverted and you wanna stay in the talking stage because you rather your mouth do the talking than your body doing the talking. So you need to stay in that. And what you need to do, you might need to join Toastmasters. Join Toastmasters, get on meetup.com and join the different interest groups that you have an interest in and start exercising that muscle because you're not dumb and you're not incapable. So you have to really start to explore yourself and say, why am I afraid to have a conversation? Why do I struggle in conversation? And what you're gonna realize is not out of 10 times, it's because of the lies that you're telling yourself. The things you're saying about yourself, Arianna want to know how active should she be in her boyfriend, child life? Not active at all. Shouldn't be active at all unless you absolutely got to be active because your boyfriend, child have a mama. And you are a girlfriend, not a wife. So when you're a girlfriend and you in your boyfriend, child life, you stepping on the mama toes and she don't know you like that, to be in her child life. Unless she is incarcerated or she is a drug addict to where she really, she wants you to be there, then you got to stay in your place, stay in your role because that's somebody child. And you don't know that child, you don't know if that child gonna be like, oh, that woman thumped me in the head. That woman said, I'm ugly. And now you getting Molly walked by the child mama cause the child happened to be a baby kid lying on you. So whenever you date somebody and you coming into a blended, y'all finna blend or you finna be in a situation and somebody got kids, you got to, you know, just hit the pause button and you got to really learn about the situation before you just jump all in there because you dealing with somebody else, you know, child and people die by theirs. How do you know when you're ready after having been heartbroken? When you can love like you've never been hurt before, that's when you know you ready. When you can love like you've never been hurt before, when you can go into a new relationship and not give this new person two strikes before they even step to the plate. And that's when you know, when you could come in there on a clean slate, you can give them some rope to trust them, communicate with them. And you're not coming with all of these, you know, meaningless stipulations based on what your ex did and how your ex hurt you. That's when you know you ready. Savannah, God bless her. A guy I'm talking to told me he gets jealous when he sees me on family vacations, outings, et cetera. I post pictures, videos on my Insta story, any insight. Well, at least he being honest, but you kinda need to listen to see if he's just standing in a joking way or if he's standing in a serious way. If he's standing in a serious way, then that's a little scary and you kinda wanna pump the brakes and pull on back. If he's standing in a joking way, then it don't mean anything. But you know, you just gotta make sure that ain't Ted Bundy, nephew. And you know, I'm jealous of when you're on those trips. And I'm deciding what I'm gonna do about it. Now, if he come at you like that, okay. Now that's when you gotta be a little scared and I'll be gone packing my stuff, I'll be on out there. Earth Angel, God bless her. Hi Tony, why does baby's dad and his toxic girlfriend keep dragging me into their toxic problems when I'm just trying to co-parent? He think she loves him because she's put up with his cheating and lying, but she just uses him to not be homeless. Since I really can't tell you, you know, cause that's a personal situation and those personal individuals, it's not really a general question that I could answer for the public without knowing those people. And so anything I say is just a, you know, a big estimation. And so, you know, that's a little tough in there, but I will say to you, people with nothing to do want to do it with you. People who go and know where want you to go with them. And so that's what you have to realize. It's like, if somebody in the darkness and they see you in the light, then they want some of your light. And so you can't really think too deep on it. Savannah, what does it mean when a man says you are too controlling? I don't mean to be mean, but you are. It's been six days since we talked that I scared him off. Yeah, you probably scared him off, but and you too controlling, I mean, you know what it mean. Cause if you ain't doing nothing for him, if he ain't gonna say that, if you ain't doing nothing for him to say that, like a man who the woman ain't giving him no issues, it's not finna be you too controlling. So when a man say that, it's because you asking way too many questions, you got too many trust issues, you got too many demands, you got too much going on. And he feeling like, whoa, what did your ex do to you that you bringing all of this to me? And this is unwanted. And so you wouldn't even be asking that question if you weren't doing something or if you knew you was innocent without being controlling. So what you have to sit and do is use this as the time to look and see, is he manipulating me? Is this manipulation by guilt? Because I haven't asked him any questions that are overboard. I haven't overstepped my boundaries. I haven't invaded his privacy. I haven't talked to him like he's my son. I haven't done any of those things. So where is this coming from? If that's the case, then it's manipulation by guilt. But if you know that's not the case and you know that you still got insecurities from your past, then you guilty as charged. And then, yes, you could have ran him off. And so that's a part of the consequences that you have to deal with as an adult if you didn't heal before you deal. I went through a season where no man approached me for about a year. I then worked on the three B's over the past month. At least four men have approached. Good sign. I'm not used to the attention. That's a great sign. And I'm glad you know what the three B's are for the people who don't. You ain't been here long enough or paid close enough attention. But I'm glad you're working on the three B's. And that's what happens. And I got to tell people all the time. It's like, I started, I got this thing called Oculus 2 and it's owned by Facebook. It's virtual reality. And on there, it's a boxing game. And I started boxing like every day, every other day. And you end up boxing with somebody for like four rounds. And I'm in the, I'm in the, like I'm in a real fight. And then sometimes I get in there, wait, wait, you want some more? You want some more? What? What? And I do this 50 times. When I tell you my chest's full of, my arms start to swell up. I'm going out, people are like, man, you been living away? I'm like, nah, I'm done. And I ain't lying. I'm just gonna wait until I'm just built like that. I'm done no way. But I've been on that Oculus. And so guess what? That's working on the body. So when you do work, you elevate. And if you're attractive, this person right here, when you elevate there, if they there, now they're gonna see you as on a level and they're gonna see you as attractive. So when you do work, you're gonna get results. And that's what you got to realize. Hi, Tony. I would like to thank you for changing my life. Do you see a lot of men who leave their wives to receive the Lord? Have they changed? No, I ain't never seen that system. I ain't never seen, I ain't never seen that one, nah. That's like a oxymoron leaving your wife to receive the Lord. Ain't really changed? I ain't know, you know. God bless him now. Jessica, God bless her. Hey, Tony, married a grown boy. Told him I was getting divorced. Now he doesn't want to sign the divorce papers. Why? Well, you know, hold me down. You his comfort, you his complacency, you know, you his comfort zone. And nobody wants to get leveled up on. What I just said, people with nothing to do want to do nothing with you. People who going nowhere want you to go with them. So nobody want to get leveled up on. He see you trying to level up. He like, oh, you ain't gonna leave me down here. Broke, busted and disgusted. Terrible human being. You need to stay here with me like you've been. Staying with me. How to deal with a child's father that has him around an ex that was, he loves going to his dad. I'm seeking a restraining order and child support currently. So you're gonna have to work with a co-parent and coach. You know, that one right there. So a little too deep down there. So a little too deep. And we have co-parent and coaches on MyMentor.Life. And so please work with a co-parent and coach on that. And at the end of the day too, you got to know the man. You know, that woman is no telling why she said what she said or how she's feeling. And it's just your side of the story. So you couldn't have called her everything but a child of God. You could have wished on her child and people won't tell the whole story now. So I have to also be fair in that sense to where I only know your side of it. I don't know her side of it. Now, I just really, cause it's just, it's hard to just imagine a woman just out the blue wishing death on somebody child for no reason out the blue because that means she needed being an insane asylum. And if he with her, that means he insane. And if you sending your child over there, that means you insane. And I don't think a child would be so excited to go around an insane man. You see what I'm saying? Because children like comfort and safety. They don't like to be spooked and scared. So if he's a bad guy, then your child wouldn't wanna go over there to his daddy. And if that woman is such a bad woman, then a man who love his child not gonna have his child around a bad woman if he's a good guy, he a decent guy, at least a good father. So you have to look at it on the other side and remove your feelings from it and then assess the situation and say, how much of my feelings in this? How much of this me? And or how much of this is the situation? Because at the end of the day, if there's an environment that you feel your child is not safe, then you're in the wrong for sending your child over there. Because if my child ain't safe in an environment, I don't care what the court say. I don't care what the other parents say. You gonna have to shoot the fade. You gonna have to over my dead body before you get my child to go into an unsaid place. So you have to really evaluate your heart, what's really going on and make sure you're protecting your child. When you stand your ground on ending a, hey, y'all got five more minutes, I gotta go. When you stand your ground on ending a situation and the guy just, yeah, okay, what you doing? I'm done, when I'm done, not the other way around. I'm done, when I'm done. It just mean he don't respect you. You selling wolf tickets. You didn't sell a wolf ticket before. The girl who cried wolf and wolf ain't never show up. And so now he just like, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on over here, drop it y'all, mm-hmm, hush your mouth. When you finally gave a man a chance after two years and when you give him a chance, he starts to act weird, you know, mission accomplished. That's all it is. So that's all he wanted. It was to prove to himself that he could get you back. The day you see he act weird, that'd be the last day you should ever talk to him. Trying to go, God bless you. Hey, Tony, I did the one-on-one session with your dad in June. May I get the 20 minute session with you, L-O-I message support a while ago. Send another message in there. If it's probably over 300 messages in there. So when y'all send a message, you just have to 72 hours later of the next week, send another message because, you know, so you gotta realize just like right now, there's a small amount of people compared to the people that subscribe to the channel. So just on this, you know, people that's on the live, if 10 or 20% send an email, you can imagine what that email inbox gonna look like. And so just email in. I did a bunch of those 20 minute session. That's my last time doing that, my daddy. Bless him and send him some clients. And when y'all was serious about that 20 minutes, I was thinking maybe some people would be like, oh, I'm just gonna do the session with Tony Daddy to support them. But y'all was serious about that 20 minutes. I'm like, all right, who am I? What y'all wanna talk to me for 20 minutes for? I'm like, y'all ain't got nothing else to do in that 20 minutes. I'm still on the phone for 20 minutes and everybody going over the 20 minutes. I said, Lord, what in the world did I just do? Trying to build a blessing to your parent. What's your thoughts on speed dating? I wouldn't do it. Nothing to do with dating should be done with speed. So I wouldn't do it. Cause I'm telling you now, when you look up Ted Bundy, if you talk to Ted for real quick, you talk to him real quick and the boss about to go off and you about to change, you're gonna think, Ted, amazing. Oh, Ted, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. Okay, yeah, it's my number of Ted Bundy. All right, y'all. Then later that night. So when it comes, anything that's done with speed, when it regarding date, everything needs to be, it needs to be slowed down. Need to be slowed down, Earth Angel, God bless you. Earth Angel, you gonna need a session now cause I'm seeing you up here 90 times. You gonna need a session, Earth Angel. Come on now. Hey Tony, I'm trying to build my art business and currently gaining audience with Instagram. Is it a strategy to include personal life, to be personable, relatable to audience? Or can a page that's strictly business be successful? A page that's strictly business will be more successful, faster than a personal page. Cause people just have personal prejudice. So when you're building as a person, you build a lot slower. So it's like for me, building a personal brand, if a person don't like black people or they don't think black people are smart, if a person don't like a country act from the south, you know, if a person don't like people with a certain skin complex, you know, a certain eye color or a certain kind of chain or talk a certain way, then you lose all those people because of personal prejudice. But if I just was like a logo and I'm just putting quotes up and I'm just information, just sharing a gift, then people, they have nothing to judge but the content. But when you build as a person, people judge you based on their prejudice and insecurity or whatever it may be. Do I need to retype my whole first question? I show them, see how long should it be taken? And now to hit my time limit now. So I got to get going. Y'all forgive me. I tried to answer as many questions as I could. Hopefully I answered 30, 50 or something, but this will be archives, so you'll be able to watch it. And I'm gonna try to hop back on here, Lord willing. Sometime tomorrow, sometimes it'll be in the daytime. So it'll really be my people in Europe and Africa that catch the daytime ones cause they'll be home and American y'all might be at work unless you're working from home or you work for yourself. But on tomorrow, I might try to get on here a little earlier cause I think the game come on tomorrow night. I need to watch the game in case it's gonna be the last game basketball. So God bless y'all. I thank y'all, I appreciate you. And we'll talk soon. Hey, you know what? I forgot to do my look on closing and I thought about Joya. When she be like, Tony, can you do the little close out of the last three minutes that you be talking? And this is the thing of what I'm seeing tonight. This what I'm seeing tonight. And it's a large, large, huge lack of self-love. And the one thing that I'm noticing from women is that y'all, you're trying to understand and you're trying to rationalize and you're trying to make sense of things that do not make sense. And so you have to understand that you're not gonna understand a grown boy and you can't rack your brain and lose sleep and stay up all night and be bothering all your friends, bothering all your family, bothering everybody that, you know, you bump into over an ignorant person over a grown boy, a grown girl. And we get so called up trying to rationalize someone who is irrational, trying to understand somebody who don't wanna be understood. And you lose so much time when really it's like, that's just a moment in time that is supposed to be left right there, gone about your business. This person don't know who they are. They don't know what they want. They don't know where they're going. Realize that and gone about your business and stop sitting there spinning your tires and you in quicksand and you just spinning your tires, spinning your tires, you just going deep and deep and deep in this hole, trying to make sense of somebody who don't make absolutely no sense. And they never gonna make sense. They don't wanna be understood and you losing good precious life and you so perplexed over this situation that is plain as day. Because if you're not being loved, respected and treated the way that you treat them, then that's all you need to know gone about your business. It ain't nothing else you need to understand other than you are not being respected and treated the way you supposed to be treated, gone about your business. How, why, what, when, if, but and all of that and none of that matters. You not being respected, you not being treated the way you supposed to be treated in the story, all the explanation, none of that matter, gone about your business. And when you get to that mindset, the way you say, you know what, I'm not finna sit here and try to figure this out. I'm finna look at what the signs that I see and I'm about to go on, move on with my life and I'm gonna attract somebody that's gonna do me right, love me, respect me and treat me the way I'm, I deserve to be treated. Point blank period. And that's all you got to worry about. So, hey, and bless you the, tray view. God bless.