 Hello everyone, welcome to another video. It's been a while since I've done a sit-down video like this Just me and you and the camera I thought I'd take this opportunity as it's mental health awareness week this week And I wanted to create some awareness about some mental health issues and just be open about some of my mental health issues That I've faced and still do face to this day. I understand that that it's not an easy topic for people to talk about It's not really easy for me to open up about my stuff because being in the public eye People like to use that against you But you know, I actually think that it's more important for us to be open about things like this So that others can get the help they need as well today. I'm going to talk to you about something that I've suffered with and still do suffer with to this day and It's became very evident as of late that I still haven't worked through a lot of the issues from my past and That is PTSD PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder I've got a limited understanding of it, but I'll try to explain it to you the best I can and I'll explain to you why I have PTSD if anyone doesn't know My story It's not just a story. It happened to me for many years. I was involved with a very violent environment gang-related drug-related Very dangerous shifty deceptive environment for many years and It has still affected me to this day. I find it very hard to trust I find it very hard to look at situations certain situations With a rational mind like a normal person would so because I've been in such dangerous scenarios and They've played out the way they have it really has Changed the lens that I see through in certain situations now so what happens is you can get triggers from your past and they Send you off into an anxious state. You can have flashbacks from your past and They send you off into another anxious state PTSD is not the only mental health issue. I've suffered from Anxiety depression Suicidal trying to escape the reality that I was in that's what my drug use was about Always trying to escape my reality because it was a harsh reality really was and I don't try to escape my reality anymore But it's been five years since I've stopped using drugs and since I've been out of the gang life Since I've committed an act of violence now It wasn't just the violence that was perpetrated on me. It was the violence that I perpetrated on other people That has affected me. I don't know if you know about much about like Vietnam war veterans and they suffer something called shell shock Now shell shock is basically post-traumatic stress disorder And if you've seen something really bad happen to your friends like they might have seen people be blown up or they've had to Defend themselves or being in really, you know, sketchy situations for many years They are affected profoundly by it for the rest of their life. And if you don't get help for that It's going to come out in your relationships. It's going to come out in other ways when you get these triggers so what can happen is you can be in a normal environment where there is no danger and Something could happen that triggers a memory or a flashback and it can send you into a feeling of there's danger around Okay, and with me because that feeling that trigger of danger when I used to feel it There was actual danger like people could be you know coming to home invade you or you could be you could be at risk of being shot Or you could be at risk of being set up and and you know other gangs and you know deceptive behavior happening around you a lot So it triggers you and then you feel like oh my god, there's imminent danger I have to get out of here or it could make you really stressed out or you know react like a little bit like Abruptly and come on. We're gonna get out of here and this is a real thing and I think what we need to do is be aware of it If you are suffering from any trauma from your past if something did happen to you when you were younger like you were abused or you know sexually abused or Had some type of violent trauma happened to you You can hold on to that like a memory chip like a memory card. It stores inside of you It stores inside of your mind and I don't think anyone should be afraid to get help for that You might not think you need help now with me. I just thought you know, I've gotten sober I'm off the drugs and alcohol. I'm away from the gang life. I'm focusing on animal rights animal liberation and Everything is good. I'm just gonna heal Still having nightmares still wake up thinking someone's Trying to kill me or like having nightmares violent nightmares where people are trying to kill me and I've got a gun and it's really really intense and You know, they haven't ended that still happens so you can't go through 10 12 years of you know, that type of life and Just expect to be okay on your own after it. You have to be Humble and honest with yourself and say, you know, maybe I do need to see someone Maybe I need a bit of help here with this and it's you shouldn't be ashamed to talk to someone who's You know a professional and can help you navigate through these issues And that's kind of what I'm saying here people can be suffering from PTSD in the animal rights movement as well Because we witness a lot of slaughter and I've bore witness inside slaughterhouses and we see a lot of suffering and you can suffer secondary trauma from that and We have to be aware of it We really have to be aware of it because you can spiral into depression anxiety, you know helplessness. It's not good It is not good. So I think Having a support network around you very important Talking to a therapist if you can very very helpful and sort of being open about these issues Helps so much. Also, I just want to say that this isn't a video to be like Poor joey. I'm a victim. I've got post-traumatic stress disorder from my past You know poor me everyone messaged me and say, um, you know, are you okay? I'm really sorry for you and give me different treatment because That is not what Anyone wants, you know, it's good to be supportive of each other, of course But we don't want to sort of stigmatize this and go. Oh my god, like You know you suffer from that. Oh, he's disabled or whatever. I don't think I don't think that helps people come out and speak about it I think yeah, general support. Hey, you know, I understand that that's you know, I know someone who's gone through that too That's really helpful or Hey, you're doing okay or but this isn't poor me video. This is more of a let's Create more awareness about this video Let's also have perspective in this situation as well Like perspective is one of the most important things when you're suffering mental health Even though that it doesn't cure your mental health that helps you look at it in a different way Let me give you an example like animals are being tortured as we speak They are being tortured sexually abused children are being ripped and stolen from them and killed they are Waiting to be bolt gunned in the head in a slaughterhouse that smells like their friend's blood They are suffering Some serious trauma and I could only imagine what these animals in the factory farms are feeling Or on the dairy farms are feeling when they have their children taken or they've been mutilated And they're only infants That's really gives me perspective But not to belittle or trivialize anyone else's trauma But I think we should also realize our own trauma It will help us understand the trauma of others and how much worse Others could be doing And they might not be as strong as you and animals cannot rationalize their suffering They just they'd be like akin to an infant or a toddler trying to rationalize their trauma. So it must be A horrific hell for them Constantly, I guess this video is more Me being a little bit more open about, you know, my life, you know my life story But it wasn't just a story the implications of going through something like that live on like the residual trauma from my past lives on And what I'm trying to do is make amends for my past And I have been getting some really good help really good help And I'm so grateful to you out there. I'd like to keep the individual anonymous for this very private to me, but I'm really grateful for the help that I've been getting It has really helped me understand it and once you understand there's something going on and you become aware that there's something there That is the first step to changing it because if you are just acting in sort of autopilot, which I was autopilot like Okay, I'm getting trigger. I'm getting a flashback while having a flash of anxiety or Remembering some violent event or some deceptive event from my past where I had to be in fight or flight mode Okay, and I'm remembering that and I don't even know what's going on with me And I'm in fight or flight and I had to defend myself and I was this little kid in this You know gang related world trying to defend myself all the time And I'm having this flashback and I'm not aware of what it is It's so much harder But now I have an awareness and I can go okay. This is happening This is the mechanism. This is why it's happening and this is what we can do to change it And I think that's a beautiful thing. I have been told By the person I see for therapy that PTSD is very treatable. It takes time It takes work, but it's very treatable And that is hope That is hope. I don't want anyone to feel Helpless and not deal with their mental health issues. I've overcome depression. I've overcome anxiety. I've overcome You know suicidal thoughts But this is just another step for me to overcome and we can all We're all in this together sort of thing. We We all have each other by our side because I'm sure there's Someone out there watching this who is going through their own struggles and really appreciates hearing that they're not alone And you might look up to me and admire me and go wow joey, you know, you're really inspirational I'm going through some stuff and now you can hear that. Well joey's going through some stuff as well And I think that just knowing that you're not alone Um can really help a lot. Yeah, I guess That's the video. I'll leave that there. It's mental health awareness week. Um We all go through hard times. Some of us support ourselves out of a very very hard place And I don't want anyone to feel that their mental health issues are being trivialized or not being understood And I know sometimes it's very complicated and not as easy as people think to get over it just think positively And that's all good I mean there's some sometimes there's it's a more complicated than that and a little bit more Work needs to be done But yeah, just a deeper understanding of each other and each other's struggles And I think if you deal with your mental health issues and your trauma And you understand it's a real thing You can really start the healing process and once you're healed, you know, you can really put in the good work For helping others and that's what's going to help make this world a better place Thank you for listening I hope You get help if you need it and I really appreciate you being open-minded and compassionate about this Stay strong Keep fighting Have perspective no matter how hard it is There's always someone out there that's doing it a lot harder. So Use that to motivate you to get better And to help others And let's change the way we treat each other You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do what we gotta do to survive And still I see no changes