 Ya, this is why 254 and this is why in the morning it is interesting that you are here with us and we promised you we are here for the conversation of the day, conversation of the day being what men look for in women, what men look for in soul mates. And my name is Senior Comrade Oguda Bradley Sankara Kaisu or you can summarize it as Sankara Kaisu. It's at Sankara Kaisu in our social media platform and we are live from broadcasting house Nairobi. So you are welcome, you are right in time. You are going to tell us through our Facebook pages that is the way we are going to converse with you. You are going to tell us, you are going to comment and tell us what you think men look for in soul mates. And with me to help demystify this are two interesting people and we are starting with the lady. It's lady and gentleman and lady is Natali. Natali, how are you? I'm fine, thank you. What's your other name? My name is Natali Kakai. Natali Kakai? Yes. Everything about you, what do you do, your social media platform and everything? I'm a journalist in training. I go to Masenno University. My social handles are, I am Nat Kakai. Oh, in every social media platform? Yes. Nat Kakai. Which level are you now? Which class? How do you say? Which year are you? I'm in third year. Oh, you're third year. You're almost there. Almost there. Salute, I said something in the morning about Masenno. I'll tell it to you again. And we have a gentleman in a colored tie. I told you the first time we met that you resemble somebody. Do you remember? Tell us everything about you. I go by the name Muchi Sambulmuchi aka Mr. Elmuchi. I'm a simply Muchi Muchi. Producer, director, businessman, entrepreneur. The ladies man. But most important of all, the son of the most I manje. Blessings kwa ke. How do you call yourself ladies man? The ladies love me and I love them too. So it's a mutual relationship. How do you know that ladies love you? Love, so let's move on. Actions too. Oh, they act in a manner to show that they love you. And in fact, that brings us to the topic of the day. Let us start with you. Oh, what do you in turn also love those ladies? So much. What do you love about them? What informs what you choose to love and do not to love? For you, give me your top five list. My top five? For me, number one, as a self-sufficient woman, by that I mean, mon am keniza jismamiya. You can do one, two, three for yourself. You know what you want in life. And there is the aspect of understanding that in growth and in doing what you're doing, you need each other with somebody else. Number two, Number three, the face. Niki amka subuyu kukandu hangu na deitu kumbi amungu. Thank you Lordy. Bara katwi ya ni manze. Ata na ring katwi ya ni mbeli ambogi na wapi wapi. Number four, the love for God, yote ni nafa kwa number one. Lago penda mungu tu bili, mipi amina penda mungu tu bili, siyoko wezu wezu hake. Number five, number five, ambitious like, poverty is not our portion. So, akuna vision, dreams, na goals, ya komo kana to know a way of how to do it. Kabisa. Did you realize that your number two and number three are all about looks? There was attractiveness, beauty, usafi. They are all about physical being. Very, very true. So it's like you are too much in this look. I think it's cool really. Ya, I love, I mean it was a soft life manze. I love it's nice, I love it's set to ya ni na. It's a tunnel for me, niki kuja kwa kuna unanuka. Mini meji take time, asubu ni mihoga, ni majipa kapaamba, ni ni ni ni ni. Nia, fubu, ya kama msupa. Una fanya iso zote, yaura manze. Kabisa. I thought men are not supposed to be. Man, manana fakwa kuwaka once a week or twice a week. Ya, we go zote. Una waka kilo siku na di. Ya siku. Mbu kiangu adiunita msupa, manze, jua tvil na penda maji yolo over the place. Okay, that is it's trusty. Don't let us come back to Natalia. Natalia, you've heard what Muti is saying, We are really unreasonable and realistic We need toiter give up People they have very unrealistic expectations They want a career woman who's earning a lot Career women, I do have a job They are busy people At the same time one in the last two One said, I just want house help So, I think for what he said, it's very reasonable and realistic. What was his number one reminder? Number one was understanding. Understanding. Do you think ladies go here in understanding? Pardon? Do you think ladies go in understanding? Are ladies understanding enough so that they meet the expectation of men in their understanding? Can you understand me one name? I mean, I can't afford something and then you really want it. Oh, that can make you leave me. Yeah, women can be understanding. Inna depend na villa nakupenda. You know, sa zingine, dema dieh story ako na anachafte opportunity kum break up. So, na then ya you can understand him, but in real sense, kumampia opportunity. So sometimes you make demands because you want, unata kujikata. So you're looking for a reason. But that's so unfair na tell you what you think. That is so unfair. Also think women in a depend na mtu. There's some more understanding and there's some more not understanding. Need to be lame to ako. Okay, Muchi, I'll come back to you. I'm coming to you next. I want to read for you a vacancy that I put up. I know you saw it, it belongs to same group. There's somebody who advertised for a vacancy that he wants, finally wants to marry. So these are the qualifications he wrote. I want to read everything like I have finally decided I'm gonna get married. Applications with the following requirements should apply. One, should have natural air. Two, no makeups. Three, satisfactory income source. Backed by a bank statement. Four, a great cook with experience of at least five years. Five, no tattoos. Six, should be black without any trace of bleaching or chocolate in complexion. Seven, able to sustain an intellectual conversation as well as post some sense of humor. Eight, attach a written recommendation from at least two former boyfriends. And then nine, extensive knowledge in public relations. Ten, fluent in at least one local language that is vernacular. Then Kiswaili, Sanifu and English language. Then 11, well trained in home management and hospitality. 12, must have a great character of a wife material. 13, no previous record of relationship cheating. And you remember you have to attach two boyfriends' records there. Then recommendation letters from former boyfriends. Then number 13, no previous record in relation to cheating that I've said, the most ability to make a man successful. Number 15, must not practice sequinism. Number 16, must be slim, coca cola bottle shaped and tall and averagely tall, chabi and not shapelessly fat. Number 17, almost through. I think that is the last. Must be a career of God's presence and then lastly must possess angelic voice. So he said those were the end of qualifications. All applicants must be advised to send the applications. Before the end of August, that is by August 28, 2021, attach the following birth certificate, health certificate, passport photo with a white background. You know this is really, it was true. All educational certificate and only selected candidates will be contacted. NB, this is an equal marriage opportunity. No corruption. Any faking will lead to automatic disqualification. Good luck for more qualifications in box me. So he posted it somewhere and he wanted people to inbox him. You are opinion on this application. First of all, I feel everybody has a right to make a list of what he or she wants in his life. But there is the aspect of we treat marriage and love like a job. This is your job. A person who is in love with someone's life, a person who likes to make a decision, a person who has a choice to make a decision, a person who wants to get a job, a person who wants to get a job, a person who wants to get a job, a person who is truly meant for you, a person who is in love with someone's life. So yes, it's good, bas buatate sekasa na juku kikosa kupatao om tu vileo umiliiista upo. What happens? Kuchu, kwa kiviye? One woman without all these qualifications. One with all. Do you think she exists? I'm open minded to say kona posibility hana exist, but the possibility of now you finding her is not the challenge. Because hana kwa yuko. Kwa kiviye kwa patoa na naya we are 7 billion people in this one. Labda ko yuko yuru koe Koki jijifula ni tuapu metulia. So na wu kukenya kanaeru mitu liya tu, so the link up is the challenge, na wu leta kwa wupendo. Ya, the people who are professional linkers, their job is to link people, to link people. Do you think they should come in in such a case? Do you even approve of their job? For sure because I heard a lot of people who ame patana na the marriage is successful through that, but badu kuna ase ame patana na the marriage is unsuccessful. Last but not least, kuna aspecti ya karakta. Karakta hui badili, karakta is who you are when you are alone and what you do on an individual basis. So your character and my character must be able to match. Leave alone the list, leave alone everything. Ame able to accommodate who you are as a person. Niki amo kukupenda na kukupenda niki chikoyo flaws and your good. So niki kabisa. Muchi, thank you for being honest and being plain. You are coming to Natalie. Natalie, do you think this woman exists? And if it exists, if you think she is you, just be frank and tell us. That woman exists and thinks she is me. Tell us. Okay, I am sure that woman exists. I am not interested in being qualified for that. I think kwa yo listi ake, there are some things which is said that it's not black and white. It doesn't have a definite definition. Saka slakunizim. Maybe anaman nisha kutegneza nilis, alafu, for someone else, slakunizim ni nitu anahangauti na wa baba. I don't mind having a list but if you are having a list, are you okay with me also having a list? It's a cool thing. Because it's an equal marriage. It's an equal marriage opportunity. So, kwa yo listi ake na demandi so and so this and this in you. I also want to be able to have my list and demand this and this from you. But the way such a woman should also choose a man should marry her because she has a lot, she has just a lot. It is not easy to have good figure, good brain, good everything, good voice. And then somebody puts application and maybe this person doesn't have these qualifications. And you want to get such a virtuous woman. Have you read it's called which Bible verse? Which Bible verse talks about a virtuous woman? Proverbs 31. Yeah, Proverbs 31. So, do we think we should use Proverbs 31 as a parameter? Man should use Proverbs 31, we start with you as a parameter for the person who should get married to. It depends. Do you walk in the jungle, do you deserve a Proverbs 31 woman? You can't say you want a woman who is a prayer warrior. You can't say you want a woman who is a prayer warrior. You see, we have two characters in the money. I say I have good character and all that. I love when I do kujapu and maybe I will want to do penda vinta. You can change me. No, thank you. I'm not in that business. That's another aspect here. Aspect that you can change me. There are a lot of men out here looking for the second mother. Yes, for the second mother. We live in a community of here and we have a community. We didn't end up in a kutumio or a kivibaya. We're not clear. We live here but are calm in the name of it. So, deep down we have to claim these other sides. That's a challenge which we will be addressed. Nicole, kwa kwa kwa kwa hika kwa mizi niisil yun amu. Sava ya haza batya hani hana. Nakuna na kawaya niisil kwa hika. Nisha, na kwa kwa mizi niisil ala kwa hana. Bili ya kwa kwa kye hani? Sava ya hania kwa mizi niisil kwa. Lama na maizipu eno na yun mili kwa kwa kwa hana. Niisil, nisha, kwa kwa kwa hani? Igo, na kwa mizi niko yun mili kwa. Nisha, niisil niko. are being emotional for each other being the mental inspiration a yamka subunapatia crizaw na kona kusaka a kenda kupigia hota wakai see w last matia ifa nya kuna wamii, kuna options kumise kuja kuhaya kuhilipigi ye kwa kwa opi nunapata kwa kwa hensa ni wantatu kwa hensa ni kwa kwa ni and i agree with him yes ok women kutu nuna kukilipa but also the guy should be able to do so Una pacha maybe the wife is heavily pregnant na maybe bad one end a job Uo me kwa kwenyumba the whole day Anakuja home of Yombon Chafu on Japi Kani and ya already she's she's exhausted Sisa tutaka kwenyumba Chafu ju wa wezi clean Awezi nirumi alek nime choka you see and that brings me to the point of sacrifice kwa relationship lezima kukuna sacrifice you see even in that list so you can find maybe he finds that woman but kitu too much maybe maybe when a li kwa abadi a li ya kata too and then akafka point aksama akat change katlifika changing but this a tata too bad do you kwa but she's the perfect woman sacrifice so we should not judge like by only physical but you you brought up an interesting point of maybe helping in the house man African man African man ya do you call that toxic masculinity you can do everything in the house like I've been raised mainly by my mom kila mtu is equal in the house so kama ni siza na usha viyombo lewa nimi na pika kama ni ya na pika nimi na usha viyombo kama ni viyombo kuna nyuomba there's this whole aspect of the responsibilities of the house so akutu train aki sema kuna kazi ya wana wake na kuna kazi ya wana ume kazi ni kazi na zote zineza fanya it is better good than said than done do you think you will do that to your wife for me I feel am at a position with God at an elevate so lazman nifani yo job nita kuna finances ya zini cleaning nita jika kufanya cleaning lady na kama kufanya that oh you'll have so many workers that will handle everything my wife aspect ya kwa pregnant she needs to be taken care of the most so anything that I can to ease of the burden ya ya aki wana the pregnancy I should undertake that and do that so how do we achieve that kujua kuna kazi fanya fanya so ease of kazi ni gani 1 2 3 4 mimi niza fanya yes but almost occupied in other things na visions na nini so I delegated to someone who can handle that I see that is but you know there's also always a starting point you can't start but kama pia mimi ni maskini na sina yo do si maindu kusha viwambo si maindu kupika si maindu kummasaj miku you know it's different when it is your daily duty and when you do it out of passion maybe kuhela Natalia says that it should be your duty you know I'm cooking I should be cooking when African men think cooking is for women we're talking about African men squishy with the west who affect kachetu and all that and also just the growth and there is the equality and all that you'll find that even African men squishy they are open to helping the house but kuna wengine too bad but I'll go back to that point I understand ya mimi mine zakuwa ni miyamua si tawai yosha viwambo si tawai pika si tawai fanya 1 2 3 so the moment na approach msupo aangu before to aane mi na maambia miku na kazi siyezi fanya no si expect ni fanya time marriage me anza be clear be open with it do the moment ni mi fika asia nziku create certain expectations which you can't fulfill I know situation where somebody used to do such jobs no and to an extent that waifana tokainya na zema wei baduma tuji kali siya pona wana jwa akuja pikuwa ayon kiburi sa ayon kiburi na ifai love love it's a structure ya kuna respect ya na ifanya jio upendo so kama ni jio upendo sphe kuja na arrogance ya wei beb kuna viwambo apa uta osha mani uta osha okay back to that was by the way back to what we are discussing today there is a small chance here for men that is on the men's priority list of choice for men looks come on top looks men mostly selected that is on that research where 68,000 people interviewed men mostly selected attractive bodies that is 70% and attractive face at 68% the most important features of question partners they say nice eyes and all that so there are other things that came that is confidence confidence at 44% kindness at 38% and 36% came intelligence I want you take you take on this research this is science now I want you take on this research Natalie it's reasonable because when you see someone for the first time you don't see their intelligence until you interact with them so it makes sense that the first thing that they will look at is the looks I'm not saying that your priority is looks or anything like that but the first attraction when you see someone is how they look how they present themselves how they carry themselves that's why it will be at a higher percentage some people think Natalie that looks and brains are inverse that if you have good looks that if you have good looks you can't have good brains if you have good brains you don't have good looks it's simple because you know how to do it you know how to do it that's a false notion it's a mentality that was brought by movies when you watch movies the beautiful blonde is always there it's a mentality when you watch movies but it's possible that somebody can be cute and at the same time brain and you are an example here the perfect example when it's true you are doing that also I love it but you are not saying that you have a good look because you are a professional you are very intelligent you have a good look but you are not saying that you have a good look so to add on what she was saying there is an aspect of human nature and for us human nature is we are programmed to be biological beings by that I mean we are reproducing beings we are reproducing this earth so in the aspect of reproduction when you are looking for someone who is healthy you can provide security food praise person in your life so when you are in health like you are physically fit to a certain extent it's an automatic turn of when you are in health 100 men are in a room but 100 women are attracted to one 100 women are attracted to one because it's the physical part first and then you will get to know the person Muchi before you we get of you the other factors like good organization adventure and then cooking and the clean house able to converse try new hobbies, want friends is it is cooking a factor for you ability to cook it's not a must kwangu jumi kwangu like sike to finely Mr. Teki waifu na kufanya jabo me aq waifu na pende a ni dunze a ni kufil naka king a ni pati e the feeling that I'm supposed to get from a woman but kiki taki kwaifu na kufili kwaifu na aq za job mtm ni bata to kwaifu upo na. Muchi, our time is much spent If we want your final remarks on this, tell men on what they should have in their priority list. Ni wukwem janja in this life, desire one will ever, we are changing people. So in this world in the aspect of change, wujue kila siku we choose to feed something, either physically, mentally, ama spiritually. So whatever we decide to feed is whatever we are. Meku su mechaguwa na feed the same thing piawana feed, na akona the same ambition na the same goals piawana da ikuachiv. Wukwia iwa ato wacha nina listi ama nina mingi, karakta tu yeh nyu uta accommodate witu mbaya wicha the flows, nita penda zile zi niziko pohazaidi na zahidi nizia ribuku grow from that. Na akuna maisha perfect watu cha tichiana, watu upendaana, na in the end of it, kamuna penda msi, uta stick to na yad the end of it. People may think that you can make a very good ass band, you can make a very good ass band the way you are talking. No man, I'm solomoni. Most men are this way. When they talk, they talk a lot of sense, but when it come to practicality, it's another thing, another thing altogether. I have too much love, too much love. Give us your final remarks, Natalie. Ukiwa na expectations, it's okay to have expectations, but you should also be okay with the woman having expectations if you're having expectations. And also sa zingina expectations are what destroy a relationship. So you should know and decide whether you're willing to sacrifice and you should know whether you're willing to sacrifice your expectations sa zingina kwa relationship or just let the relationship go. Nice. I had wisdom on set, wisdom. I had brains, somebody who said brains and looks are inversely professional. I've proved you otherwise because Natalie's brain is here and very attractive. Muchi has also said that yes, people are very brainy