 One cherry phosphate one cherry phosphate. Hey, buddy. I've got a broadcast to do in a few minutes Will you please hurry with my sandwich? Why don't you eat after the broadcast? Because I'm hungry now Get the sandwich. Okay, mr. Benny. What kind was that again a tuna fish and peanut butter on rye bread? Oh Yes with an egg in it the egg goes in my molded milk Now hurry, please. Oh, hello Don. Oh, hello Jack Think I'll have time for a bite to eat before our broadcast. Yes, if we can get a little service here sit down, okay There goes my new straw hat That did it all that's too bad Jack. I didn't see it. Is it crushed like a pansy and a dictionary Is I had crushed well, I'm so sorry Jack. I think I ought to pay for it. How much did it cost no? No, forget about it. Okay Hey Just think a few more minutes and we'll be doing Just mail me a check. Hi, mr. Wilson. What'll it be? I'll have a club sandwich, please. Okay one clubby for tubby And hurry mine while you're at it. Hi Jack. Hello Don. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello. What are you eating Jack? Oh my regular tuna fish and peanut butter. What a man just because they name a sandwich after you eat it every time I come in here. Well, why shouldn't I the Jack Benny three-decker delight is very helpful I always eat things that are full of vitamins. Then why don't they show? Oh quiet Here's your club sandwich, mr. Wilson. Thank you. What's yours miss Livingston? I'll have a pineapple nut sundae with cherries and lots of whipped cream. My goodness, Mary Why don't you eat something with vitamins? Okay, put some tuna fish on it Mary you better save all those cute remarks for the program an Incidentally young lady as long as this is our farewell appearance. I wish it'd be a little more careful what you say You mean I shouldn't tell him what happened at Paramount yesterday Don't you dare what happened Mary? Never mind see you're starting already come on Mary. What was it? Yeah? What happened you stay out of it And get my sandwich well Don It seems that Paramount gave Fred Allen Dorothy Lamours old dressing room Which is right next to Jack only Jack didn't know that Fred was in there only jack didn't know any jack didn't know Anyway, Jack knocked on the door and yelled hello Dorothy. Hello, sweetheart What happened Mary Fred yell back don't come in I haven't got my sarong on Yes, but he didn't fool me for a minute, but Jack I thought you told Mark Sandridge the director that you wouldn't make a picture with Alan Well, we compromised on Alan can be in the picture, but he has to be the straight man He gives me all the leads and I give all the answers. Well, that'll be a novelty the question's getting the laughs I'll get the last don't worry. There's your pineapple sundae miss Livingston. Thanks. Hey, wait a minute. She just got here Where's my three-decker? Bill's putting a poop deck on it Don't get fancy just bring it in Hi, you kids you better step on it. We'll be on the air in a few minutes Well, look who's on time tonight What's the matter Phil does your conscience bother you because this is our farewell program, holy smoke Is this our last broadcast? I better start saving my dough. Yes, maestro. You have about 30 minutes left to get an annuity So make it snappy what let me twitch. Hi you bub. Just give me a glass of water glass of water Okay, put some bromo in it. I thought A bromo seltzer a one Phil Harris special They know you like a book a fill hey fellas hey, are you Jack Benny from a radio? That's me. My program goes on just a few minutes. Yeah, wait a last week. Oh, you did but I did That's too bad. You know, I can't please everybody. Yeah, especially me I'm gonna worry whether whether he likes me or not. There's your sandwich, mr. Benny. Well, it's about time Give me that mallet milk to okay boy. Am I hungry say Jack? I better run along upstairs I'll see you in the studio. All right down Well, I'll be darned. Hey, buddy. I ordered a tuna fish and peanut butter. Well, what's the matter? This is tuna fish and peanut brittle fine combination. Well, we're all out of peanut butter It's a nice time to tell me bring me something else then bring me a turkey sandwich, okay? One turkey for jerky Now see here young man. I'm a very good customer and if you think that I mean mr Is this seat taken? No sit right down. Hey Jack is getting late. We'd better get out of here Yeah, come on Jackson. We'll be late for the broadcast. Oh, I think I got time to eat a sandwich pardon me Mr. What time is it the time? Yes? I don't know. Hey Eddie. What time is it? I don't know. Hey Bill. What time is it? I don't know hey first Dennis day and yours truly Don Wilson the orchestra opens the program with down by ladies and gentlemen a great Many desserts are outstanding for one single quality Some you remember for their delightful taste others for their tempting appearance their simplicity or their low cost But when it comes to Jell-O, there's a dessert that has everything Color yes color so gay and inviting that Jell-O is a joy just to look at flavor extra rich flavor as Downright refreshing as the fresh juicy ripe fruit itself Ease and speed for Jell-O dissolves instantly and sets quickly Economy because one package costing only a few pennies Serves the average family and generous style and last but not least Variety or with Jell-O you can enjoy any number of novel and satisfying desserts So be sure to keep a goodly supply of Jell-O on the pantry shelf at all times Then you'll always be ready to serve family and friends their favorite treat Jell-O the dessert that really has everything Ladies and gentlemen, it is only fitting that on this our last program of the season I should pay tribute to the man who has guided us through the past 36 weeks. Oh, don't bother A man whose spirit and leadership has made this program what it is today. Oh anybody could have done it maybe Continue down a man whose buoyant and sparkling personality has been reflected into each and every one of us I have so much of it Go ahead a man whose age and experience has proven invaluable to us younger members of the cast That one he could have left out Oh well, so here he is folks the old mother Hubbard of the Jell-O program Jack Benny Jalong and this is Jack Benny talking old mother Hubbard. That's a fine introduction on Father's Day Don as long as you started out so beautifully. Why didn't you finish with something sentimental like? Here he is folks the genial skipper of the Good Ship Jell-O Jack Benny now that would have been swell Well to tell you the truth Jack that sounds a bit too corny. Oh Well now that you mention it it does sound a little like one of Phil Harris's mental nuggets There you go again. Oh boy. Am I glad this is the last broadcast you are yeah next week I'll be out on the road playing those one night stands where people appreciate me Well, you stay in a town longer than one night and see what happens So you start on the road next week a what's your itinerary plain suits for the boys in a sport outfit for me Well, that was my fault Phil an itinerary means your route. What towns you're gonna play Oh, well, why don't you come right out and ask me instead of ringing in them new words? New words Phil the word itinerary is very common. I learned what it meant when I was in the third grade You learned to shave there too, didn't you? Mary I wasn't in third grade that long go on they had to give you election day off so you could vote All right, go ahead keep it up I suppose I had rheumatism when I was in the third grade you spent your lunch money on lineman if that's what you mean Mary if I'm a big dodo like you try to make me out How come I'm the star of this program because you're a great comedian You have a marvelous personality and you know show business from A to Z. Well, thanks more like it say Phil Don't spoil it Say Phil as I started to ask you before I was sent back to third grade. What's your route? What what towns you're gonna play well tomorrow night? We open in San Bernardino Then we go to Santa Barbara then Long Beach then San Diego. I see then the following night We go to Fall River, Massachusetts Fall River, Massachusetts, are you going to get there in one night from San Diego? I don't know. Is it much of a drive? You hear that fellas what a schedule that'll be a fine vacation touring the country with those 18 downbeat derelicts Say don what are you planning to do on your vacation take a trip somewhere Well, Jack this may come as a sort of a surprise to you But I'm going to make a picture for Harry Sherman at Paramount. It's a Western. Oh Well, I'll be done. So you're gonna make a Western a are you gonna write a horse down? Yes, sir And you ought to see that animal. It's a beauty. So was Jack straw hackle you sat on it Yeah, 450 Well, tell me about your picture down. Is it an interesting story all very you see I am sheriff's slim of rattlesnake gulch and there's a mob of outlaws that come in town one night to rob the bank Rob the bank. Hey, yeah, but I'm having the story changed So that now they break into a grocery store and steal some jello. Oh, that makes me fight man Well, I should imagine it would what's a bank. So what's So what what happens down well I jump on my horse and follow the outlaws to their hideout Just with inside of them when suddenly my horse goes lame. Oh, that's too bad So I continue by foot and you forgot to get all and what happens next well to make a long story short I capture the bandits bring back to Jell-O Mary the grocer's daughter and we have six delicious children. Don't tell me don't tell me I can get Imagine a kid named lemon Wilson Well, it sounds like a fascinating story and I wish you luck down and now ladies and gentlemen going from Buck Wilson rides again to Our vocal interlude a Dennis day our young tenor will all Dennis isn't here yet. He isn't Think you'd be on time for our last program. Look Jack there. He is sitting out in the audience with his mother Where see that lady with a little boy on her lap Well, I'll be darned. Hey Dennis, what are you doing out there? I'm watching the program. Well get up here You're on it. Oh his mother with him. Oh Jack. It's our last show. What do you care? She's always got a chip on her shoulder Good evening Good evening, Mrs. Day. Good evening, mr. Benny. I'm so happy to see you Well, you certainly don't look it. You see you see what I mean You know Mrs. Day I don't like to say this but since you've stayed away from the program Dennis and I have been getting along fine And he's improved tremendously. He's got more volume to his voice more assurance and more poise then why don't you give him more money? Because he's young yet That's why Shirley Temple made a million dollars before she was ten years old Shirley Temple. Yes. Well hang some curls on your brat and we'll dicker Look Mrs. Day, give me a little credit I've developed your son into being a first-class comedian then he ought to have more jokes to tell oh now you want jokes for him Well for your information Mrs. Day, there are just so many jokes in our script And when this pack of wolves come in here Sunday night your lamb is lucky if he gets to sing And now Dennis how about a song? Okay? Gee mr. Benny you're not a bit afraid of my mother are you your mother no the woman don't live that you're afraid of a tiger Mary I don't like those nicknames. Go ahead and sing Dennis. Mrs. Day. Will you please take your seat in the audience? Yes, did you see the picture? Yeah, and I was wondering mr. Benny Do you think Alice Faye on the screen was as beautiful as the real Lillian Russell? So they say of course I never knew Lillian Russell Mary I'm warning you. I suppose I knew Diamond Jim Brady, too. If you did you didn't get any on you Mary I was just about to make an announcement Asserting our cast next year and a certain clever kiddo may be cut out. I'll sit down. Yes, mr. Benny And now ladies and gentlemen before we conclude this final broadcast I would like to announce that on Sunday October the 6th Mary go away we will return to the air for the same sponsor at the same time and with the same cast Mary Phil Don Dennis Andy and Rochester who is now touring in vaudeville. It's deadly Jack Who's taking over our summer show? Has it been settled yet? Yes down the Aldrich family is going to move in for three months As a matter of fact young Henry Aldrich is dropping in here in just a little while I want you all to be very nice to him He'll probably be scared stiff in front of a microphone scared in front of a microphone Why Henry Aldrich is a veteran in radio? Why he can't be just a kid sure But he's had his own program for the past two years Gee he's funny funny Does he Does he do comedy haven't you heard about him Jackson? Why that kid's a riot. He's terrific. Yes And he's young And you want to watch out for that boy remember the old saying make way for tomorrow Well if he thinks he's coming out here to steal my oh I'm not worried But then what's my sponsor thinking of putting another comedian in my place now take it easy Jack the boy Won't hurt you. He's only taking your place for three months. Oh, that's right a lot can happen in three months What do you mean well suppose at the end of the summer Henry Aldrich goes to our sponsor and says look I did all right on the summer show. Why make a change what why not keep the old rich family But why let go of a good thing. Yeah, what do you need with Benny? Why the little double-crosser? I'll punch that all rich kid right in the nose now Jack Don't get excited the kid doesn't mean any harm. Then why is he trying to put me out of work? Especially at my age all of a sudden you're old and feeble. Oh, no, I'm not Well fellas, that's the way they want it. All right Heaven knows I've tried to entertain the American public But that's life. I guess Life Jack. What are you talking about? You'll be back on this program next October. Don't try to soften the blow I can see the handwriting on the wall Thank heaven. I've saved a few pennies. Ye gods. Have you got that fortune in pennies? No time for jokes Mary, and I think that a little squirt like that Aldrich kid can come along Come in and take away all that I've built up through years of constant come in come in Well, hello, mr. Benny. I'm Henry Aldrich. Oh, you are a that's the public for you fickle Little while ago. They were doing that for me Well young man, you can very nicely get right out of this studio get out of this studio where our sponsor said I don't care What our sponsor did you don't start working on this program until next week so scram But I flew all the way here from New York just to be on your show tonight I don't care if you did get out from mr. Buddy. Nothing get out before I throw you out What's going on? No, what's going on? Teach you to take my job away Look at them standing there It's so darn funny Aldrich. Why don't you go ahead and tell a joke? Go ahead make me laugh gee whiz mr. Benny. I can't understand all this I came all the way from New York to be with you tonight. Who cares. I'm bewildered Everybody told me you were such a nice fellow. I heard a little bit about you too, buddy Now please get out of here. Oh Jack. You have to fall for everything. We were only kidding you why of course You don't have to worry Jack. It's just a rib rib nothing I can look right at that boy and see he's got talent Can't pull a wool over my eyes hair either why? Worried enough. Oh wake up Jackson. This kid isn't trying to take your job. My goodness, mr. Benny I I think you're the greatest comedian in the world. You're my ideal. I am a honest Why I'd rather go without supper than miss you on Sunday night. Oh Yeah Always listen why I know all of your stuff by heart. Oh Yes, her to admit he was stealing my stuff. Oh, no, you misunderstand me mr. Benny All I meant was that you're so funny that I can't help but remember everything you do. Oh Oh, I see well, I'm sorry. I made that pass it Think I'm pretty funny a kid. Yes, sir. I think Phil Harris is very amusing too. Oh, you do a but when it comes to class You got him beat a mile. Well, Henry out and have to admit that Phil is a little corny. Oh, you're both corny But you have more finesse Henry see what I told you the kids a panic Now look Henry there are a couple of rather personal things I want to talk to you about I'll tell you what let you and I run down the drugstore. I want a sandwich anyway. I'll talk to you there Okay, well so long everybody Goodbye Mary give me a kiss kiss Henry. Oh so long I'll see you later Come along Henry. Okay. Well, Henry now here's here's what I want to talk to you about You see I do a comedy show nine months out of the year now you're coming on for the summer And I think our audience would like a contrast. What do you mean, mr. Benny? Well, why don't you do a dramatic show or read poetry or something? Well, you see the old age family has been very successful on the air We want to continue with it. Oh But Henry people get tired of laughing all the time. Why don't you introduce a serious note? You know make people cry cry mr. Benny sure that's sob stuff goes over big. I smell a rat. Oh Well, look Henry, here's another idea have you ever considered doing a sort of an adventure serial something with suspense and action For instance, look you can be lost in the jungle savages and wild animals will be happy You know make a real thriller out of it. No comedy a now not in the jungle Henry. Well, I don't think our sponsor would like that. Oh Well, here's the drugstore. Let's go in and have something look Henry Don't you want to show the sponsor how versatile you are? I want to get laughs mr. Benny just like you do. Oh Hey, buddy, give me a tuna fish and peanut butter sandwich. Okay. Let's try it again Henry let me paint a picture for you say for instance You're lost in the jungle and week after week people will be tuning in to find out what's happening to you They're worried about you. They'll be on edge to the golden dragon get Henry. They'll say I have the cannibals got them Think of that. I'll have a chocolate soda But Henry vanilla ice cream now look Henry forget about the jungle. Here's another idea for you You're an office boy on a big new city newspaper. You're just dying for a break. You want to be a reporter see Uh-huh. Well one day. There's a big fire in the building next door and Millicent Mandalay the girl You're gonna marry when you're 21 is trapped in this burning building. You hear screaming Henry Henry help me No, so So hearing her cries you dash right into the blazing infernal think of it Henry flames to the right of you flames to the left of you There's our recipe for keeping as cool as a cucumber this summer It's a swell new jello recipe called cucumber pineapple salad Why there's an even breezy refreshing sound to the name itself and believe me here's one time when there really is something in a name Tiny diced pieces of crisp cucumber golden wedges of juicy pineapple and clear emerald lime jello Yes, sir It's enough to make the laziest summer appetite perk right up and say more and better yet It's so simple and easy that it's practically making itself Just prepare one package of lime jello in the usual way and chill until slightly thickened Next fold in a cup of diced cucumbers and one slice of canned pineapple cut into wedges If you use fresh pineapple be sure to cook it then mold and serve on lettuce And there it is friends a bright colorful salad with a grand tantalizing taste Just the thing for warm weather meals, which must be light yet delicious So tomorrow enjoy this new jello salad a delightful combination of cool tingling cucumbers and golden pineapple tucked into a glistening mold of tempting lime jello This is the last number of the last program and the current jello series and we'll be with you again next October 6th At the same time meanwhile, I hope you will all enjoy the all-rich family starring Ezra Stone beginning next week Before signing off. I like to thank our listeners everywhere and the members of my cast for their splendid cooperation I would also like to thank my authors Bill Morrow and Ed Beloy who worked with me in the preparation of my material and oh, yes I think I better thank Ezra Stone, too. You're welcome buck Good night folks. See you next fall Family same time same station