 Hello everybody, welcome back to another vlog. Today is Wednesday and I just finished uploading my main channel video for the day, for the week I guess. I'm just having like the worst first day of my period. Like, ooh, the cramps are setting in. So I hope you don't mind that for today's vlog, I kind of just wanna chill and I'm just in a chatty mood. I know a lot of you really love the chatty vlogs and I love watching them. So I thought I would maybe answer some questions that you all have been asking. I try to do Q and A's on this channel like every couple months or so and I don't know, I just really need to like lay low and just, you know, kick back and relax. So I thought that we could have, you know, a chatty, almost like video podcast-y style vlog today. So I did screenshot a few questions that you all asked me on Instagram a while back and there is a hair in my nose currently or on my face somewhere that I can't find. I'm in my cozies today. I'm literally like, this is what I'm wearing. Sweatpants, got my Taylor's version sweatshirt on and we're just gonna kick back and like chill. So grab yourself a drink, grab yourself a snack, little piece of chocolate, cup of tea, whatever it is you like and we will jump into some of these questions and just chat and catch up with each other. The first question that I saw, I'm gonna answer like kind of the most commonly asked ones. The first one that I saw come up quite a bit is how are we liking California and do we still see California as a place that we wanna continue living, et cetera? And we're loving it. I love being here. It's actually kind of cold today which is fun and nice and different. And we have had, I mean a decent amount of changes of seasons. Nothing compared to like when I lived in Tennessee of course but like it's kind of chilly today. Well, it was this morning. And for the first pretty much like half or maybe even three quarters of January it rained every single day and like I loved it. It was so cozy. There's so much to do here. There's so much opportunity and like yeah, we are homebodies and stuff and we are trying to work on like getting out more and stuff but I just have so many hometown friends here. It's so cool to be able to go to like different flea markets and meet up with my friends and check out cool little pop ups and like all sorts of random stuff and show around our friends and family when they come and visit and go to Disneyland. And like there's just so many amazing things that I love about living here. Of course there's like pros and cons to living everywhere but yeah, I've really been loving being back in California. It makes me really, really happy. Andrew's the same way. We were walking Layla the other morning and he was just like, I love living here. And I was like me too, honestly, me too. I got a couple questions about my tattoos. Like have I considered larger ones or do I have any more in the future? What's sort of like the end goal here? And honestly, I'm just sort of like their little stamps on my passport in a way, if that makes sense. Like the one on my foot is my first one that I got and I got that with a friend when I was like 19 and then this one on my wrist that I got for my dad. Then I got the smiley face one when I was in London which is like an amazing sort of memory that I can just have forever. And also just like it represented a lot for me during 2022 of like being the year that I sort of took care of myself and then I have the ones that I just got, the one for Layla, the one for my grandparents. So it's like I'm just sort of collecting them and I have no real plan. Like I literally decided where the two that I got were gonna go like at the appointment. I was like, maybe here, here, maybe here. I think tattoos used to be like such a big deal and you used to have to put so much thought into them and like they had to have so much deep meaning behind it and now it's just like, I feel like the, at least in my life and the people I hang around with, it's just gotten a lot more casual and like I love that. I just think it's so great that like you can get whatever you want. So I actually am a fan of like smaller tattoos and I probably will only continue at least right now to get smaller tattoos and I really love the sort of like patchwork sleeve vibe and that's probably what I'll end up eventually having. I really just wanna continue getting tattoos like when fun things in my life happen or just for the hell of it, like hanging out with friends, traveling. I really wanna get a tattoo when we go to Tokyo next month. So like hopefully we can work that out. I've been like searching for tattoo artists and stuff, but yeah, I have a couple more ideas of like sort of family based tattoo cutie little things that I wanna get. I definitely wanna get some sparkles. I've been seeing people get these cute little like sparkly stars. So maybe like on my shoulder or something. I'm not sure, but most of the tattoos that I wanna get coming up are gonna probably be on my arms. Do you miss Arizona at all? That kind of goes with the first question. Yeah, of course. Sometimes I think there are things that I miss about just like the people there, like my friends, my family, Drew's family, et cetera. Like I miss having my mom be down the road or across the street or whatever. I miss hanging out with Drew's nieces. They're like a huge part of our lives. Like Drew has a big family out there. So miss hanging out with them, miss winters. Winters are like the best thing ever. Sometimes I miss the sort of just like more remote like chill vibe of Arizona. But then there are other things that like I miss so much about California when we're not here. So it's, yeah, it's a trade-off, but like, yeah, absolutely we miss it. But I do still get kind of regular questions of like, do you think you'll ever move back to Arizona? And like maybe we just genuinely have no plan. And that's actually like, I kinda wanna talk about that for a second. I know I have before, but like I do think that it's sort of like maybe now more common because more people have remote jobs and stuff. So, you know, since COVID and all of that, but I think it's just so cool to not have like a set plan. And Drew and I genuinely are like down to do whatever. I mean, not whatever in like that we, no offense if you're from there, but we wouldn't move to like North Dakota or like Delaware or something like that. Somewhere we've never been or lived, but like we would totally be open to trying to live in another country for like a few months or even like going to visit somewhere for maybe an extended time, like planning a long trip. This is obviously like after our pets and stuff, which we'll get into that. Another question that I kind of still get occasionally is like, would you ever consider going to the UK? Like, cause Drew and I have talked about this for years honestly, is maybe like trying out living in another country, like maybe living somewhere in the UK, maybe moving to England, you know, all these different things. And like the biggest sort of issue, cause I answered this when I came back, in like what September after visiting England. And like my answer was like, maybe if the opportunity presented itself. And one thing like a huge thing that I sort of forgot to mention when I was filming that is that like this little thing called Brexit happened and England isn't, it's pretty strict. It's pretty strict to be able to get a visa there where I think it like used to be a lot more easy to obtain. And now it's like you either have to have like a job there, you have to be sponsored by like a job, corporation, company, whatever. There's a few different visas, but for Americans trying to move to the UK anyways, like that's all I know and all I've researched. It's kind of difficult. Like it's a whole thing. So everyone that I know who has like moved to the UK from the US is because of a job. So that would be like something that we would have to like consider. It would really be like a huge change. I couldn't just move there as a self-employed person and like continue doing my job the way I am now. As far as I know, you'll have to let me know in the comments below. But yeah, it would be like a lot more difficult than it sounds. So as much as I'm like, yeah, I want to be like a England girlie and Drew and I want to move to the English countryside somewhere or whatever. It's like a lot more difficult than that. So really I think what will probably happen in the future is we'll just go for visits, you know, and maybe just stay a little bit longer. I do think you can stay in the UK as a non-UK resident for like up to six months. So yeah, anyways, all that to say, I do think like it's almost weird for people when I say like, oh, I don't know. I could live wherever. Like we're just taking it year by year and we're just sort of seeing where we end up and where we feel called and where we feel pulled to and like sometimes that's weird for people but for us it's like really exciting. And for me as someone who like grew up moving pretty much all the time, I think I went to like eight or nine different schools like throughout my school life, like through, you know, kindergarten through high school. It's not abnormal for me to move around and I enjoy it. And I love, you know, meeting new people, having connections with people in different places. And Drew, like growing up and living in the same place his entire life, like made him want to get out more. Like he was always like growing up like, I'm gonna go and move all over the place and not just stay in Arizona and stuff. So it's like we both kind of have the same end goal or else this wouldn't work, obviously. So yeah, all that to say that was a really long but I don't care because this is my vlog and I feel like being chatty. All that to say, I do think that we're really content with where we are right now. Our lease is technically up in June but I think it goes month to month after that. We need to like look into that. But we're not opposed to like looking at other apartments in Los Angeles just to sort of see what's out there. Cause I just love looking at apartments. Oh my gosh, it's like one of my favorite hobbies. So maybe, but for now we're good where we're at. What is your favorite midnight's track? I would have to say currently it's mastermind. I cannot stop listening to mastermind. It was also like in my top, like upon first listen. I just love that song. I think it's so underrated. I think it's like one of the best songs on midnight's and then hits different, of course. My gosh. Are you still liking the Kindle? Yes, I am actually surprisingly, I have become a Kindle girlie. Like I've fully switched over. I also think it's just nice because you can just have it all in the same place. You can read at night with it. It's really compact. You can get like a pop socket for it if you want. You can just lay in bed and like just curl up with your little screen and do it that way as opposed to collecting like so, so, so many physical books. I definitely have filled up like a lot of our bookshelves and Drew has as well with like his, you know, manga and stuff that he reads. So it's kind of more sustainable in that way because then you can just like read it on your Kindle. But also I do love, I love like holding a physical book. So I like, I miss that in some senses but I just think the Kindle is like so much easier. What's your big three? My big three is I am a Capricorn son. I am an Aries moon and I'm a Pisces rising. So those are my three. From what I understand, Capricorn, like your son is kind of like ahead of everything. And I used to never ever, I think I've even said this in Q and A's. Like I'd be like, I don't relate to anything about being a Capricorn. I don't feel like I have any traits of a Capricorn. And I'm like, yeah, I do. I think I'm a pretty textbook Capricorn. And I feel like a lot of people all by the way, I view this kind of as like a, like the same as like what Harry Potter house you in or like personality tests or love languages or whatever, I just don't, I don't like put that much into it. Oh God, I gotta sneeze. Eww. But apparently like the Pisces is like the emotional part of me and then the Aries is like the fire sign. From what I understand, your moon sign is like how other people view you if I'm not mistaken. And then your rising is how you view yourself or something like that. I can't remember, but yeah, those are my big three. Let me know what traits you think I have of each of them down below. Cause I think it's fascinating. I don't like know too much about it, but I do think it's interesting to hear about, especially in LA, people are like really big on it here. And I think it's kind of fascinating to learn about. How do you balance wanting to attain that girl aesthetic slash routine without losing yourself? I don't actually feel like I'm trying to attain any sort of that. Like I definitely don't feel like I'm that good in that sentence without laughing. I'm not trying to attain any aesthetic at all actually. I'm just trying to be myself. That's like my only goal is to just be like my 100% authentic self. And of course I think it's cool to be influenced by trends or try out products that you think are really cool and popular or testing out like the new, I don't know, TikTok recipe, what have you. I really love like testing out like viral things and influencer hyped things and everything that sort of falls under that umbrella. But yeah, I don't feel any pressure at all to like be any sort of aesthetic. Like I am just gonna be 100% me and that's all I can be. I do think though for younger people and even just me like a few years ago I was so heavily influenced by what other people were doing and if I was like fitting in or not. And yeah, I mean, I think that there are definitely things that you can be influenced by online and like that can be fun little products that you use here and there. But like if it's like affecting you as a person and sort of making you lose sense of who you are, that might be something to think about. But yeah, I definitely feel like I'm in my authentic era and I'm just trying to be me. I'm trying to be me and I'm not concerned with any sort of like aesthetic or anything like that. But I do like, I love trying out things that are popular and trendy and cool. I think it's really, really fun to test those things out. Are you still taking your ADHD medication and how do you feel with and without it? Lots of love. I'm sending lots of love to you too. That's so nice. I am not taking ADHD medication. I never really like, I guess followed up on this but I did take ADHD meds for a little bit and then I stopped taking them because I have a fun little anxiety trait where I get lots of phobias for a lot of different things and it all stems from myometophobia which is like the biggest phobia that you know has controlled most of my life. But I get really weird with medication. Even if I know that there's nothing wrong with it, it's perfectly safe. I've never had a reaction. Honestly, the anxiety surrounding me taking the medication is way worse than like any possible benefits of taking the medication itself. So I am just so scared of my really horrible anxiety coming back and I have heard some people say that different ADHD meds can sort of set off your anxiety. Sometimes it can, sometimes it doesn't. I didn't have anything but a positive experience for the short time that I took my ADHD meds and really all it did was kind of make me tired. So I didn't really feel like I was that much more productive or I got a lot done but I also don't think I gave it long enough either. And I just feel like at this point in my life, I just wanna manage my ADHD the best I can without medication because it's just not like the perfect fit for me but I have seen so many people talk about how ADHD medication has like changed their life. It's like this beautiful gift that has been given to them and it helps them stay productive and finish tasks and remember things and do all these amazing things that maybe they wouldn't be able to without medication and so I think medication is amazing, I'm not anti-medication at all. I just have like a weird thing with it in my head and I just, it's not worth feeling anxiety overtaking it every single day. I would rather just not and try to manage my ADHD otherwise. So yeah, that's the current update. I still feel a little bit like ADHD is, you know, a huge dark cloud that looms over my head when it comes to like forgetting to answer texts or missing deadlines, forgetting meetings. I feel like I'm always just like, God, why can't I just think like this or trying to complete tasks, executive dysfunction, time blindness, object permanence, like all these different things that I have learned about. Yeah, it super affects me and affects my life but also the more I learn about it, the more I'm like, okay, okay. So that's where my brain does that or whatever and just learning more about being neurodivergent almost like normalizes it more in my mind. So then it makes it like, okay. And it's just sort of a thing that's like, yeah. Well, that's the thing that I do. So yeah, anyways, I'm feeling pretty good with where I'm at right now. Some days it's bad, but for the most part, I think I'm doing pretty good. Let's see, what else? Someone said, does being around Sierra and her daughter make you get FOMO? No, actually. And like, I have a lot of friends with kids but I obviously don't like vlog all of my friends. I just kind of vlog my friends who also make videos. But no, I actually don't feel that way. It just almost if anything like reaffirms my sort of decision that at this point in my life right now, I think I just really wanna be child-free. And I love being able to have that time with my friends who have kids. And I think it's so great. And like, it's so much fun. Like I love hanging out with my friends and their kids. I think they're all such great kids and like so lovely and wonderful. And then I enjoy going home and having no responsibilities and just being a dog mom and a cat mom and being like intentionally child-free, you know? So I think if anything, no, I don't get FOMO. It does the opposite. Like it makes it just, you know, feel more reaffirming that like, I'm the cool auntie that's gonna like take you to Disneyland and buy you cool presents for Christmas and be like the fun one that you come and talk to, you know? And that's, I think that that's what I'm meant to be at this point in my life anyway. How are you liking your lip fillers now? They're fine. Honestly, they're like pretty normal. They look like very normal lips. Like I don't think anyways to me that you would look at me and be like, oh, she has lip filler. It feels like they just, they've like definitely gone down a lot, which I wanted. They were way too big when I got them done. I was 100% sure I was gonna get them dissolved. I was like, no, this is not for me. If you watch the first vlogmas, I was just like, uh-uh, I was editing that vlogmas like no, no, no, no, no. I do not like the way my face looks. And then once the swelling went down, as you all said, I really just got used to them and they're completely fine. I probably won't do it again, but it was fun while it lasted. I can't remember if I've mentioned that or like answered that question or not, but I am still liking them. I think they're cute. How are the pets? That is a loaded question. So Layla actually has an eye surgery scheduled for tomorrow. I'm not sure in which order these vlogs are gonna go up, but tomorrow she does have eye surgery and we've had a couple of hiccups with that with like an eye medication that she was prescribed. It actually ended up like making it worse and it was really awful and a really rough weekend. But she's doing better now and she's 12 years old. She had her birthday yesterday. We don't know exactly what her birthday is, but I just celebrated on Valentine's Day. But yeah, she's 12. So it's just sort of trying to make her life as comfy and happy as possible. And this is something that like we can't avoid. Like she needs to have this surgery now before it causes like damage to her eye, like real damage to her eye. But other than that, she's okay. She has some stuff going on with her blood work. She's always had something going on. That's just sort of what happens. But she's doing okay. Thank you for asking. And then Moe was doing good. He for the last couple of years actually has had like bowel disease. And I think it's called IBD or something like that. But it's either that or cancer. And they kind of present themselves the same and they're also treated the same. So he either has stomach cancer or this bowel thing. And he takes chemo every single day or every other day. And then he takes like something every day. So he's just on like a lot of meds. We're basically just running a tight ship of meds and everything around here. We're running an old folks home and it is what it is. But they're doing pretty well overall. Thank you for asking. Favorite thing about yourself. Wow, I love this question. My favorite thing about myself, the first thing that comes to mind is like, I do think I'm a pretty welcoming person. Like I like to make people feel like welcomed and included. And I would hope that I am like a accommodating friend. In that sense, like I really like to just make everyone feel like they're a part of the group. And that probably comes from like me being the new kid a lot growing up, like moving schools, moving houses, lots of different things like that. So I do think I'm like a pretty like welcoming person and inclusive, I guess you could call it. And I can pretty much talk to anyone. Like I can pretty much find common ground and chat to like anyone and my parents are the same way as well. Like even if we're from like totally different walks of life or have nothing in common or whatever, I do feel like I can really easily talk to a lot of people. And I don't know what's the third one. I'm just trying to like round it off with the third one. I think I'm thoughtful. I think I'm like pretty giving I guess when it comes to like giving love to my loved ones, my friends, my animals. Like I think I'm a pretty like loving, giving person. I love that question. That's really sweet. The next one says, you seem like you have quote unquote found yourself in the last couple of years. Any tips? That's so nice to say. And I actually would agree. Honestly, just rejecting like any expectations, letting go of any sort of crap that people put on you and just knowing ultimately what's best for you and yourself has been probably the most life changing thing for me. And I just really feel like at the core of me, I'm a freaking weirdo. And over the years, I have really kind of like dwindled that down because of criticism online and whatever and being afraid to get hate comments about something or like, oh, there's another thing that they're gonna be talking about and taking mental note of that and being like never do that again because people didn't like it. And then slowly but surely over time just kind of like dwindling down to like nothing. And then I was like, nah. I, if there's one thing about both of my parents, they are individuals. They are two very authentic people who could never try to be anyone other than themselves, especially my dad. My dad is just a character. He is one of a kind. And I feel like I just have been trying to channel that lately. Like I don't really know how to be anyone else other than me. So like, yeah, I'm a little sassy sometimes. And yeah, I may like pop off at the mouth and I may say things that like I might regret later. I think a lot of that comes with, hello? I think a lot of that comes with age and just sort of accepting yourself. And I think really in the last couple of years I have stopped treating myself like I am some self-improvement project. Like I'm just some problem that needs to be fixed. I'm just like some, oh, I gotta fix this, this, this and this. And like, that's not to say that I don't take accountability for things I do wrong or try to be a better person. Of course, of course that goes without saying. But like I think I really used to view it as like you need to fix all of these things about yourself. And it like kind of puts you in a really sort of self loathing, yucky, judgemental space. Especially like doing a job, like a public facing job. So really just trying to like connect with me and like remember that I was like a really weirdo little kid and I was wacky and I would literally just go up in front of anyone in a room and like sing a song or do a dance. I wasn't scared of anything. I wasn't embarrassed. I was a very like saturated personality. I heard someone say that recently. I can't remember who it was, but like I was just a very saturated personality as a child. And I think like over time that sort of, you know, obviously like being an adult and going through life and all that kind of stuff. It just sort of maybe got watered down a little bit and I'm like just trying to get back in touch with that. So honestly, getting in touch with your inner child is a big one. And just learning that like uniqueness and what makes you you and who you are and one of a kind is like the most special treasure thing in the entire world. So just like really leaning into that has been amazing and I couldn't recommend it enough. From your experience, what are the signs that you need to let a friendship go? I think for me at this stage in my life, the thing that would make me let a friendship go is like, cause you know, I'm pretty understanding, especially with the friends that I've had for such a long time. Like friends are gonna have flaws. Like there's gonna be things that maybe bother you or whatever there's conflicts that come up, but like it's about recognizing that people are human and always trying to remember that most of the time people have the best of intentions and they have a lot going on and a lot of people have stuff going on you have no idea about, you know? But like the things for me that I just can't like gel with anymore is like that uneasy feeling every time you're with a friend and like, you're like, do you like me or do you not? Like it's really hard to tell. Like that's sort of, you know exactly what I'm talking about too. Like everyone has that friendship where you're just like, this is tense. Like I can't tell if you're hanging out with me cause you actually like me or if you're actually like talking about me when I leave the room type of thing and just sort of feeling like uncomfortable. And I always have said like, you have to really, really pay attention to how you feel when you leave a social interaction with someone. If you leave feeling like, oh, thank God that's over. Like I feel drained. I feel judged. I feel weird. I don't know where we stand, whatever. That's probably a sign that it's not doing good things to you mentally and that you should maybe like, you know, hitchhike the first ride out of the friendship. But if you leave hanging out with someone being like, I love that person. Like I love hanging out with them. I feel uplifted. I feel supported. I can't wait to see them again, like that type of thing. Those are like all green flags for me and friendships. So yeah, the biggest thing I would say is pay attention to how you leave or how you feel when you leave a social situation with someone and that'll probably tell you everything you need to know. All right, you know what? I think that's gonna do it for today. I have been talking for probably too long or maybe not, I don't know. But thank you so much for being here, for hanging out with me while we just chit-chatted and caught up. I actually am feeling a lot better, but I am gonna take it easy for the rest of the day. I've given myself just kind of a day to chill so I might like do some editing on this a little bit and then we're preparing for Layla's surgery tomorrow. So I'll give you guys updates, of course. I love her so much. I'm gonna be an emotional wreck. I have a little bit of a trauma, I guess you could say, when it comes to just medical stuff with her, I'm just intensely bonded with her and especially with every time she's had some sort of medical procedure, it's been kind of scary. Her leg situation, if you didn't know, she tore her ACL and her meniscus back in 2020 and that was stressful. It was like right at the beginning of the pandemic. We were genuinely scared that every time we took her to the vet, we were gonna get COVID and die and then there was also the thought of things going wrong with her and then her teeth surgery, she got some teeth pulled and they pulled the wrong teeth and it was like a whole thing. Anyways, but it's gonna be great. So if you want to send out your good vibes for Miss Laila, by the time you see this, she will have had the surgery like a couple of days before. So please just keep her in your thoughts. That would mean a lot. The mail is here, there's a lot of noise happening, but I appreciate you being here and spending your time with me, sending me questions, growing with me, accepting me for who I am. Like, oh, I just have so much love for y'all. Seriously, so, so much. I appreciate you and I will see you very soon in the next one. Bye.