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Stuff To Watch While You're High

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Uploaded on Aug 24, 2010

Here's something to watch if you're high right now. I don't condone drug use, but if you've managed to chemically enhance yourself already, have a safe and pleasant trip with the following video. My advice would be to mute the audio and put on a nice ambient track to listen to while you watch this stuff.

Oh, and you look up stuff to watch when you're stoned, can you please type in "stuff to watch when YOU'RE stoned" not "YOUR stoned"? I know you're stoned, so typing is probably a bit of a challenge, but c'mon, people! When your non stoner friends talk about how doing drugs has made you a dumbass, this is going to be Exhibit A. If you add an apostrophe and an "e", you can refute their claim by proudly showing off your grammar skills while you find something to watch as you trip balls.

I want to play Gradius IV right now, but most of my video games are in a box somewhere... wait... my PS2 is on my computer desk just a couple meters from me, but I just don't have what it takes to move it over to my TV and hook it up. I'm not even sure I have all the components to play it. Actually, I don't know where the game is, but I do know that a copy of Dune is in my PS2. Hey! If you're stoned, go watch that movie! Don't worry if the movie makes no sense at all- even sober, the movie made no sense... and who was that guy who starred in this movie? Wasn't he in Showgirls? And wasn't that also the guy in that dreadful episode of The Next Generation entitled "Night Terrors" playing the catatonic Betazoid?

My ex once pointed out how all male Betazoids are crazy. I think there was one episode where there wasn't, but right off the bat, aside from Mr. Coma, I think of Tan Elbrun or whatever his name was as LON FUCKING SUDER. Shit. They should have given those guys a sitcom. One can't sense emotions, the other has had the misfortune to be a little TOO aware of people's emotions. It can have special guest appearances by Tim Russ. He's not up to anything these days, is he? Let's make a freaking show with these guys! We'll call it...

BUDDIES II: The Next Generation Voyaging Through Enterprising Deep Space - THE ANIMATED SERIES

Benjamin Sisko's favorite movie of all time was Spaceballs.

Okay, I learned that the guy from Dune isn't the Betazoid from TNG. The former is Kyle MacLachlan and the latter is John Vickery. Pfft! Coulda fooled me! Again: PFFT! One more time? OKAY! PPPPFFFFFFFFFTTTTT!

SSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! (That was me farting.)

By the way... Star Trek: Enterprise was just one giant rickroll... but not Rick Astley... RICK BERMAN! (Dun-duhn-duhhhhnnnn).

If you really want something decent to watch while you're high, watch COSMOS by Carl Sagan. It's on Netflix and Hulu if you can't get a hold of it anywhere, or refuse to watch PBS. Watch the second episode that covers evolution and you'll be convinced that Sagan is the voice of God spelling out in explicit detail where every single one of us came from, and then he tops it all off by saying with excitement: "Evolution is not a theory, IT'S A FACT! It really happened!". It was like a very beautiful divine middle finger to Creationists.

Update, 5/7/2011: I didn't realize how much of a role the description would play in the whole "experience" of this video. Some of you, I'm sure were wanting to seek wisdom by reading these liner notes. What I can tell you is that if you play Leonard Nimoy's Ballad of Bilbo Baggins backwards, you'll hear Spock talking about how Worf should be happy. That's what he says: "Worf should be happy.", was... WAIT! Maybe he was talking about GOVERNOR WORF from STAR TREK VI! Either way, what situation occurred in the Star Trek universe where either Klingon should feel a sense of satisfaction? What's really disturbing, if you didn't know this already, was that the Ballad was recorded almost 20 years before The Next Generation debuted on TV. Oh dear.

1.) Klaatu, Barada, Nikto
2.) Atari Adventure Dragon in my head.
3.) Benny Hill Pigeons

All day up this ladder, I'm as happy as can be! Yink-dink, dink-dink, dah-dah, dink! The things I shouldn't seeeee...

Ohhhhhhhh, the brushing bride looks divine, the bride groom he is doing fine, I'd rather have his job than mine, WHEN I'M CLEANIN' WINDOWS (Millennium Edition)!

This supplement brought to you by: Q U A R K ' S! Come to Quark's! Quarks is fun! Come right now! Don't walk... RUN!

That jingly played on Mr. Worf's cup in that episode of DS9. Worf was most certainly NOT happy that afternoon when his prune juice sang to him on board the Defiant.

Let's build a time machine and all collectively go back to the year 1991, shall we?

(Update, November 23rd, 2013: Over 333,333 views! That's a third of a MILLION! Thanks for the love. I'm not really a grammar Nazi, I swear. Pass the Pringles, please.)

Mega-Weeoo is real. Fourteen-Nineteen.

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