 Hey guys, it's show. So I wanted to turn on the camera because I think it's important to film the moments when I can't smile easily just as important as it is to film the moments when I can. My counselor just left. She is kind enough to schedule in-house visits and her coming brought up a lot of emotion that is uncomfortable to deal with. And I think the biggest thing that came up is this is a really lonely journey which is odd because I've had such amazing support. So many people have showed up. So many people have brought food. Endless people have sent me messages and cards and that has been a lifesaver and so encouraging and so amazing, but no one understands in my immediate life what this is like. When I log on to amputee forums or Facebook groups to ask people questions or to find a community, I find that people usually fall into one of two categories. Either they are angry and bitter or they are inspirational and losing their leg is the best thing that ever happened to them and just yes, you know, and I'm looking for a happy medium because I just had my leg, my foot, my ankle. Halfway through my calf is chopped off. I will never be able to walk on my own ever again. I will always have a prosthetic. I will always look different. I things are changed forever. I'm 27 and I'm different now and I'll always be the friend without a leg at parties. People will always ask me, oh my god, what happened? When I'm in an elevator, people will ask me, oh my god, what happened? That'll be the focus of who I am to most people forever. And I can't hide that anymore. I mean some days if I'm wearing the right pants, maybe I can hide it when I've learned to walk well enough. This is just, this is a weird journey to be on and I'm interested in traveling it honestly and not being happy all the time, but also not sinking into like bitterness and staying there. So this is lonely and I'm lonely. I'm surrounded by the most amazing people in the world, but I am lonely in this because I don't know what it feels like to lose a leg because I feel like I can't engage with that emotion, but I'm starting to feel things and it's kind of weird and it's kind of scary. And I think I need to find people who feel the same way to talk to who maybe have gone through similar things, but I wanted to share that today because I think it's easy to look happy in pictures on social media or to film when I'm smiling, but this is a hard thing and not every day is easy and some moments are getting challenging and I'm just at the beginning and I will work through it and I will make this a good thing. But it's hard. I'll be back soon with another video and I appreciate you listening. I am Jo, but this is Jo and I'll talk to you soon.