 No, no, no. No, dude. It was so close dude. Here's a thing. Just kick the ball into the goal Yeah, it's a score. Why don't you score? There's so much space in that hole. That's like what that's like a hundred yards Probably. Yeah. Oh, what are you doing? What are you doing, dude? I would make if I was out there. Dude. Can you show the actual game? No. Okay, I'm at 920. Oh, Frick. Frick. What the hell was that? It even hit the ball. That was a form tackle. What? Give me one reason. Give me one good reason why the Netherlands is gonna be in America. I mean, we already know they're playing a 3-4-1-2 and their best formation is a 4-3-2-1 that they're not playing their best But the U.S., on the other hand, is playing a 4-1-2-3. So, which is much better against circumstance. No idea what I'm talking about. Do you guys have ever had that friend growing up who there'd be like something like seemingly obscure that would happen They would always act like they knew everything about it and they very clearly didn't But they tried to make it a point to show how much they knew about this thing that they like just googled like the night before This would happen every World Cup. I had a friend growing up who would like start throwing out facts about other teams' players He didn't watch soccer. He didn't play FIFA. He didn't do any of that. But like he just always like would try to insert any sort of like tidbit like to make himself look smart That's why the U.S. say Football with your feet. Guys, why do they call that football if you don't even use your hands? Other countries are so dumb. You know what's actually funny about American football and soccer? You know what's funny about them? The highest scoring players in American football are kickers But in soccer, the most important player is the goalie who uses his hands See you guys at church tomorrow Wait, what are you doing? What are you doing? His last name is Blind And he scored a goal on you You got scored on by a blind guy What are you doing? That's his first goal in eight years That's his first goal in eight years Come on man They just said this first goal in eight years Are you kidding me? Guys, this is a dadgum shit show I gotta talk to the team Alright fellas, listen up Listen up Dona, we've never lost a Super Bowl. We don't even like soccer It don't matter because we're America And America does one thing and that's when championships Guys listen up fellas, it's real damn Hey, eyes up here, eyes up here Death, death Why are you messing with your hair? Eyes up here, thanks Okay, listen We're down two and up Y'all's coach sucked ass in the first half so they brought me in I'm gonna come in here, I'm gonna coach this team to victory It's okay, keep your head up, keep your eyes up We can get right back in I think we got the ball in the half, ain't that right? We can get right back in this thing with field goal We're going up there, three and up right off the bat I prefer seven, I prefer seven But if we come in here, we get a field goal Game's right back in our hands So here's one thing we gotta work on One, we gotta work on our passing game I don't know what the hell's going on there We've had so many incomplete passes Looking like dadgum Ryan Tannehill out there, that's horseshit Can't be having interceptions Can't be having a bunch of incomplete passes Okay, ball control, that's another thing I have not seen us be able to carry the ball all game That ball is just flopping around, rolling all over the damn floor Get your hands on that damn thing And go take it to the house Coach, Christian Polisic here Do you think we should have recruited players with big penises? Some small technology out there You know what, Polisic, you're right You're right, Polisic See, that's the kind of leadership we need on this team Yeah, I gotta thank God for Christian Polisic Look, listen, I like that Guys, you gotta walk around like you got a pair Like you got a big old pair Keep your chest up This game ain't over yet All right, you gotta go out there with some confidence You gotta have confidence, belief and faith The process will yield results All right, that's the way that we do things around here Mental and physical toughness When things look bad, it's okay Because the game is not over yet You got two more quarters of football out there And we're gonna take this thing home, all right We're gonna bring it home Back where it belongs, like every other champion Look, we got world champions in every damn sport there is About damn time we get it in this one too All right So go out there, get your medical Get re-taped up, get some water Let's go out there and let's win this damn thing Guys, if you think the U.S. is gonna lose I'm dead serious If you think the U.S. is gonna lose today You're an idiot You think America is gonna lose after that speech? America ain't lost yet, we ain't never lost How do we get scored on by Blind? The guy's name is Blind He hasn't scored a goal in eight years I'm pasting the team again Take your damn headphones off Listen to that music when I'm trying to talk to you How the hell do y'all get scored on by Blind? He ain't scored a goal in eight years That's horseshit You realize how unbelievably bad you have to be To get scored on by a guy you scored on Jesse James here from It's Not Soccer It's Football Magazine Do you think it's time to call in the F-15s Tomahawks, Apache's and the goddamn Navy To fix this mess Also imagine losing to a team playing In wooden clogs of a galal Why are you in my locker room at halftime? Who the hell let the reporters in here? Listen, we do what we need to do to win Okay, now you get your ass out of here And quit asking me damn questions Unbelievable, can we get security? Okay, thank you Guys, listen, I'm gonna be real damn simple with you If we got guys scoring on us Who ain't scored goals in eight years Think about it Eight years ago, think about where you were Eight years ago, today Eight years ago, today, where were you? Hell, half y'all were still in middle school Some of y'all ain't even played soccer here Thought, ouch, am I in the right locker room? No, get out of here That is the last time he scored a goal Eight years ago, what were you doing? That is the last time he's... That is embarrassing Blind What is that? Daily blind Pathetic Quit sucking ass and go win the game All right, death's break man High coach, Jesse James again from Mixed Knots Soccer It's football magazine I'm curious on your thoughts that the media Are comparing your defensive league To Hillary Clinton's emails No, them damn emails You do not put that evil on me Do not put that evil on me That evil demon woman, all right? You know what my problem is with soccer? Why are there so many commercials at halftime? Why did they play so many commercials at halftime When they could just play them during the game And then the guys could go get... They get water, they can get breather They don't get so tired They'd probably score more goals If you had more commercial breaks He's called daily because he would score daily If he played against the U.S. every day Okay Look dude, relax I don't understand how other countries enjoy soccer It's so boring that they barely score Here's the thing guys Scoring is not the only thing that's exciting About watching sports Thank god dude, I thought I thought Memphis was going to score again I was terrified Corner for Pulisic For Pulisic No, no, no No dude, it was so close dude Oh my gosh dude So close dude Weston McKinney sucks ass again Dude, Weston McKinney is kicking field goals all tournament What is the deal with Weston McKinney He's always over the crossbar You're in the wrong sport You said go for three He listened to me too much I want to see what's happening, what's happening They're cheating and we're losing Who's Ned? Ned is the neighbor Oh, here's the thing Just kick the fucking ball into the goal Yeah, just score, why don't you just score There's so much space Pass it to the guy, kick it in the goal Because like that hole, that's like a hundred yards probably Yeah, the amount of space between people Means there's, you can fit twenty balls In between each person Just kick the fucking ball into the goal You've got this whole like array of potential locations To which the ball is going to travel The probability is higher that the ball is going to go in between people Than not, so just kick it 100% Oh, what are you doing? What are you doing dude? I'm sorry man No, I'm sorry bro Dude That was brutal That's a mistake I would make if I was out there Dude I can't watch this It wasn't a bad idea But he dribbled the ball away To the hell far away from him You know when you watch a player and you're like They're getting late tonight He's getting the opposite of that Yeah, pretty much Oh dude What? How did they score? What? Dude, you missed it as soon as you won No dude No As soon as you won Dude, hey USA boys Leave, leave so they score again No, no, watch, watch, watch Watch, watch, watch, watch Like what the What? Oh my god, just one more What a shot, look at this thing Ow That's impressive What, look at that thing dude It curves so hard It curves so hard Lucky is shot in his whole life Dude, hey, and you know what It's the same guy who missed earlier It's the same guy who missed earlier So good for him He's redeemed It's 10 minutes left, just about No point of 6 for 8 Dude, what is the goalie doing? Dude, I feel like they fall asleep Am I crazy? I feel like they're playing so good And then they just completely fall asleep Dude, really it's not even the goalie The defenders are completely like They're just sitting there They're like flat footed They're so out of position If that's one thing The Netherlands and the USA Can agree on his dumb fries Is what it should be called Instead of French fries We don't like the French neither So I like that I like the dumb fries scored That's right Is the USA out of the World Cup? There's still a minute and 10 seconds left So maybe not, we'll see Alright boys, wrap it up Alright, we got it, USA lost Just wrap it up Just wrap it up Just fall asleep You know what, you know what Netherlands, you guys can say what you want About US versus Netherlands But oh, USA lost, whatever You can say what you want But at the end of the day Uber still sucks in Netherlands Okay, so who really wins? If you get an Uber in Netherlands They cancel on you constantly And it's so annoying and obnoxious Okay, they cancel on you They show up late If you show up And they can't find you They will cancel on you Like right in front of you Multiple times So, frick I think they cheated