 In this series, I address your questions about self-harm. It's a tricky topic, but I want us to talk more about it. If I haven't answered your question yet, leave it in a comment below and I will attempt to address it in a future video. Tally on Instagram wants to know how to help her 13-year-old daughter try to use distractions or something to help her stop self-harming because she says her daughter has really black and white thinking. Now, the best advice I can give you here is in two parts. So one is thinking about when you're having these discussions. So if you're having these discussions at a point at which your daughter has recently self-harmed and emotion is running very high, then she's not in a great place to listen and engage with this conversation. Actually, you need to be thinking about the difficult times at times of relative calm. So we plan ahead for the crisis moments at times of calm. That's a point at which we are in a position to think, to engage, to plan. And it can be really helpful to write down the ideas then and actually physically carry around a reminder. There might be a card in your pocket or you might record it on your phone, for example. The other thing is that it can really help to think about what need the self-harm is meeting for your daughter and think about what therefore might be an appropriate distraction or displacement activity. So if, for example, your daughter were to tell you, well, I get really, really anxious and when I harm myself, it makes me feel calmer, then you would be thinking about, okay, well, what other activities might help you to feel calm and you might think about listening to soothing music or having a warm shower or burning a scented candle or something really soothing. If, however, your daughter were to turn around and say, well, I get really, really angry and I've got all these big feelings that need to explode and I find that I take them out on myself, then you might say, okay, well, stamp your feet or shout really loudly or punch a pillow and look for those kind of behaviors that allow you to get those feelings out. And there's lots and lots and lots of different feelings that we might be trying to kind of meet the need of when we self-harm. So if we can try and understand that, what need is being met here, then we can think, okay, what might do that instead? One thing just to understand here is that the different behaviors that we might try and engage in to try and replace self-harm, it's very, very hard for them to be as effective as self-harm, particularly if we've been self-harming for a while and we found that to be really effective and we have to accept that. This might not work as well, but let's see if we can give it a go. Finally, I would suggest that you try using the let's get through the next minute approach. So when we feel the urge to self-harm, it's normally that our emotions are at this very, very high and it's really difficult for our body to maintain that kind of level of anxiety or anger or whatever that feeling might be for a prolonged period of time. So if we can try and get through one minute and then maybe the next minute and the next minute, then we find that these feelings begin to dissipate and that by minute two, three, four, we might be more able to think about, okay, how can I manage this in a healthier way? So that's worth a go.