 Thabstet presents the Great Gilded Sleeve. Hee hee hee hee. The makers of Thabstet present each week at this time Harold Perry as the Great Gilded Sleeve, written by John Wheaton. We'll hear from the Great Gilded Sleeve in just a moment. But first, are some of the foods you usually serve hard to get these days? Well don't think that means your meals have to be monotonous because there's a plentiful food that gives appetizing variety to menus in a hundred different ways and is mighty easy to use too. I'm talking about Thabstet, the delicious golden cheese food that comes in the familiar round package. It spreads easily to make tasty, nutritious sandwiches. Thabstet also slices neatly to serve with apple pie or fruit. And it's no trick at all to make smooth cheese sauces with Thabstet to pour over hot vegetables, hard-cooked eggs, fish or chicken dishes. Yes, and Thabstet makes smooth, tempting rare bits, light, fluffy souffle. And it's a sure hit, melted on toast in the broiler. By all and all, you could count at least 100 different ways to turn everyday foods into exciting treats with Thabstet. Another thing, Thabstet is easy to digest too and wholesome and nourishing, a favorite with the youngsters. So serve Thabstet often. Ask your grocer for Thabstet tomorrow. You'll recognize it by its distinctive round, flat package. Remember, it's Thabstet. The delicious golden cheese food of a hundred uses. And now, let's join our friend, the great Gildersley, who seems to have been overdoing a bit lately. His legal counsel, Judge Hooker, has persuaded him to drop in on Doc Pettibone for a checkup. And while the judge stands by, the good doctor goes over the great man with a stethoscope. You know, doctor, this is a lot of nonsense. I feel fine. Oh, quiet please, Mr. Gildersley. I want to listen to that heart of yours. We take you now to Gildersley's heart. Take it away, Doc. What is it? Why do you look like that? What is it, Doc? What have you found? Don't tell me you found a heart. You keep out of this, Hooker. This is serious. I like you to listen to this, Judge. Put this stethoscope on him. That's right. Now hold the other end up to his chest. Stand still. It tickles. Well, stand still. There. Now listen. What do you hear? Sort of a rustling noise. Sort of a what? Sounds like a troop of boy scouts coming through the underbrush. Oh, no, no. That's the hair on his chest. You're in the wrong place. Hold it lower. Hold it still. Hold Gildersley still. Oh, cut that out, Hooker. I can't stand the suspense. Doc, Doc, am I, am I going to die? Oh, no, no. Take it easy. Don't spare me, Doc. I'm a sick man. I know it. Don't try to fool me. If my time is up, I want you to tell me. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Gildersley, but you are not going to die. No? No. Did you hear that, Hooker? You're not going to die, but with that blood pressure of yours, if you don't do what I tell you, you're going to blow up. Oh, my goodness. I'll do it, Doctor. I'll do anything you say. You name it, and I'll do it. Well, I want you to get some rest. Rest, yeah. Well, I'll take it easy. Above all, don't get excited. Don't get excited. Maybe you ought to go away for a few days. That's what I keep telling him. Go away. Go away. Listen, you'll meddle some old goat. The judge is right. Yeah. Why don't you close up the house and take the kids and go fishing? You know, I hadn't been fishing in 20 years. Best thing in the world for the nerves, isn't it, Doc? Nothing like it. Yes, sir. I used to be quite a fly caster in my day. A regular Isaac Walpole. Well, then the place for you is Lake Hecmatac. You can rent a little cabin up there and... Are there any fish? You know that big trout that hangs over the sideboard in my dining room? Yes. Lake Hecmatac. Yes. Say, one of those wouldn't look bad in my den. By George, I'll do it. I'll take Marjorie and Lee Roy and we'll start the first thing in the morning. Come on, Josh. Mr. Gildersleeve, just a minute. Yeah? There's one more thing. What's that, Doc? $5, please. Oh, yeah. $5. You're gone and messed up. There's a poppy bottle I got. Look at that float. Yeah, good evening, Bertie. Good evening, Mr. Gildersleeve. Something smells mighty good. It smells all right, but it ain't good. Lee Roy, what's going on here? What on earth are you doing with all those bottles? Just making a little root beer. A little root beer? He's made 14 gallons. Well, that's how much it makes. You can see for yourself, Uncle. It says here on the bottom. This extract is sufficient to make 14 gallons of genuine root beer. Don't you think you're getting into this thing a little deep, Lee Roy? 14 gallons. That's an awful lot of burps. Yeah, and he's used up... He's used up every bottle and cork I got and a wash tub still have food. A wash tub? Oh, you don't understand, Uncle. I'm not going to drink it. I'm going to sell it. Lee Roy, did you ever hear the Pure Food and Drug Act? No. Well, you will. And you're going to hear the riot act if you don't get that stuff out of Bertie's kitchen. Where's Marjorie Bertie? She's out back there. She's been laying in the hammock crying her eyes out. Crying? Say, we'll have to see about this. Nothing but trouble in this house. The doctor's right. I've got to get out of here. You truly, Roy. Come on. You ought to know better than to mess up these things by Marjorie. What's the matter, honey? Nothing. It's Doug. He was supposed to take him to the movies tonight and he's standing up. He is not. I'm standing him up. Huh? Wait a minute. Let me get this thing straight. He stood me up last night, so... I'm standing him up tonight. Well, darling, if you're standing him up, what are you crying about? It's Doug who should feel badly. I know. But he doesn't. He's going to take that Helen Gibson out. Well, you told him to take her out. I heard you. Yes, but he's going to do it. That's women's crime. Take my advice. I'll never have anything to do with it. Yes, all right, please. Take it from me. The more you do for him, the less they appreciate it. I know, I know. Read up rough and tell them nothing. That's my method. Take my advice. Leroy, why don't you start a column? You tend to your root beer and lay off your sister. Now, Marjorie, I wouldn't waste any tears on a fellow like Doug. He's nothing but a... Don't you dare say anything against Doug. Stick around, Leroy. I may need you after this. Stick around, Leroy. I may need you after all. Remember, Marjorie, there's better fish than Doug. He's right in Lake Hackmotac. Say, how'd you like to go to Hackmotac for a couple of weeks, huh? We'll rent a little camp and we'll do nothing but lie around the sun all day and fish. What do you say? Fresh! If I wasn't asking you, Leroy, if Marjorie... Well, there's going to be any fishing. There's one thing I'd like to know first. Oh, what's that? Who cleans the fish? Yes, there is that. Leroy, you're getting to be a big boy now. What's the matter with you cleaning the fish, huh? Well, I'll tell you. Funny thing about me and fish, I'm not a squeamish man, but there's one thing I can't stand is cleaning fish. But we haven't caught any fish yet. Wait a minute, I've got it. Birdie! Oh, Birdie! Birdie, how'd you like to go away with us tomorrow for a nice vacation? It's 10.30 and we were going to start at 8 o'clock. Come on, come on, come on. Where's coming, Uncle Mort? Well, then what's holding us up? We're just packing the lunch. For goodness' sake, we just finished breakfast. Now, you'd be the first to holler, Mr. Gilfleave, if it wasn't any lunch. We'll be done soon as we finish these double eggs. I don't know why it is every time we go any place. All the women in the house have to start deviling eggs. Have you got the thermos bottle? Yes. Have you got the steamer rod? Yes, yes. Oh, Uncle Morton, why don't you just leave the packing to us? We can do it much quicker if you'll just let us alone. Well, I'm just trying to help, for heaven's sake. Of course, if I'm not wanted here, far be at ease. Why don't you go get the car out? A man tries to offer services around here and he gets his head taken off. Come on, Lee Roy. Hey, Uncle, can I back the car out? No, you may not. No, I'm not, Uncle Morton. Piggy Banks backs his car out. I can do it earlier. You heard me. I said no. Why not? I've told you before, young man. You're too young. You're much too young to understand about cars. Oh. I'll get off the running board. I'm going to start it up. Have you been pooling with this car, young man? No, sir. But may I make a suggestion? No, you may not. What is it? Why don't you turn on the ignition? Turn on the... Yeah. It's a funny thing. I've been trying to start it that way for years. This never works yet. I'm going to start it up. I'm going to start it up. I've been trying to start it that way for years. This never works yet. Yang Wei. What are you trying to do, Throck Morton? Run over me. No, Judge. But it's a nice idea. That's gratitude. An old friend comes over to say goodbye to you and you try to run him down. Here's a much faster, Miss Gil, please. Oh, Leroy. While you're resting, go get that, will you? I'll open the trunk. One side, please, Judge. Leroy, what's all this in here? That's my root beer. Well, get it out of there. Oh, long. We've got to have room for the baggage. We can't take all this. Well, gee, can't I take some of this? You can take six bottles. That's all we'll have room for. That's all you'll have room for, too. Okay. The idea I've never seen before. Morning, Marjorie. Well, it looks like you had a fine day for a trip. Looks like a scorcher, if you ask me. I'm dying already. Yeah, it is a little hot. It's a lucky thing it's not far to hack with hack. I don't like the looks to that left rear tire there. Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. It's still got a lot of fabric left. It's still got a lot of fabric left. Leroy, come get these bags, will you? Yes, Leroy, while you're resting. It seems like I have to do all the work on you. By the way, it's Rockmorton. I'll be glad to sort of keep an eye on the house for you while you're away. Oh, the house is locked, Judge. I don't think there's anything to keep an eye on, really. You can't tell. A couple of houses have been broken into around here lately, you know. Is that all? I hadn't heard about that. Yes, so if you would like to leave your key with me, I'll be glad to drop around once in a while and see that everything's all right. Well, that's mighty nice of you to judge. Mighty nice of you. Here, there's the front door key. Thank you. Leroy, have you got those bags and back there? Yes, I would. Bertie, suppose you and Leroy are right in the back. Marjorie, you sit up here in front of me, huh? Yeah. Are we all set? Everything in? We've forgotten anything. Let's see. Doors locked, lights out, bags in. Leroy, did you? Yes, boss. Good. Well, we're off. Goodbye, Judge. Bye, Rocky. Hope you're a life expert there. If we don't, you'll hear from us. Bye, Marjorie. Leroy. Bye, Judge. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. Good old hooker. You know, this whole trip was really his idea, Marjorie. He's a sweet old thing, really. Yeah, he's a sweet old thing. I'm going to miss the sweet old goke. Well, ought to be a nice trip. Hey, Oz, what was that? It sounded like a blowout. I knew it. It's that left rear tire. Brothers! Oh, there goes our trip. Can you beat it? You work hard all year. You save your money. You mind your business. You try to take a well-earned making. Oh, I've seen some bad breaks in my time. But I'll be... I'll be more? I mean, I'm a patient man, but good gracious to Betsy. Well, that's life, I guess. Birdie, did you ever change a tire? Don't tell me. Let me guess. The tires were OK. All of them. Leroy, this is no time for joking. I'm not joking. They're OK. Leroy, I distinctly heard something blow. No, they don't. I'll tell you what blew. It was Leroy's root beer. That word blew. I told him he put too much yeast in their stock. Oh, this is going to be one of my bad days. The Elder Sleevel will be with us again in a few seconds. Everybody knows that fresh vegetables are good for you. But do you know the trick that makes practically any vegetable dish a real taste treat? Well, the answer is serve hot vegetables with smooth cheese sauce poured over them. You'll make them even better tasting, even more nutritious, too. It's easy if you use tap set. Delicious golden cheese food that comes in a handy round flat package. All you do is melt tap set. In a double boiler, stir in a little milk and season. Presto, you have a grand smooth cheese sauce, not only for vegetables, but for fish and chicken dishes, macaroni, rare bits, and a number of foods. You'll be surprised how a luscious golden cheese sauce, the kind tap set makes so easily, adds sparkle to everyday dishes. It proves them appetizing variety that just calls for second helping. Yes, and tap set spreads so smoothly, slices so neatly, you'll find a hundred delightful ways to serve tap set, both by itself and to add cheese goodness to other foods. It pays to serve tap set often because it's so nourishing. A fine energy food, rich in milk protein, and it gives you vitamins A as well as the milk, minerals, calcium, and phosphorus. So ask your grocer for a tap set tomorrow. Remember, tap set, the delicious golden cheese food of a hundred uses. Let's get back to the great yield of sleep. It seems that left rear tire held out, whereas the morning mist rolled across Lake Hackmotack. We find the mighty angler seated in the stern of a little rowboat with his niece in the bow and his nephew at the oars. Steady Leroy, steady as she goes. Leroy, that would ride in my lap. I can't help it, it's these darn oars. This is about far enough, I think, Leroy. Yeah, let her coast. That's it. Now hand me that rod. Rod, Marge. Oh, here, Uncle, you want a worm? Forget the worms. A true sportsman, Leroy, would rather die than use a worm. Oh, and how do you catch the fish? Yeah, you'll see. Young man, you're about to be initiated into the gentle art of fly casting. You see that little doohickey there that covers the hook? You mean that tassel? It's not a tassel, young man. That's the fly. You see, it's very delicate. The finest ones are so delicate, they're made of hummingbird feathers. Do the fairies make a Uncle Morse? Oh, shut up. There's a lot of angles of this, young man, so watch carefully and don't be so smart. I'm watching. This is how your crew angler attempts the finny tribe. It's all done with a wrist, see? And the secret is in getting the ribbon. One, you cast it, two, you jerk it back. You see? One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one. It's all done with a wrist, you see? One. You've been saying that for three days now, won't you? When did you catch the fish? The fish are secondary, young man. The sport is the thing. One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one. Really, Uncle Morse? Pass me the worms. Tell me something, Uncle Morse. What makes you think there are any fish in this lake? I've seen them. Where? In Judge Hooker's dining room. Now, what are we doing here? Judge Hooker has a stumped crowd over his sideboard that long. And by George, I'm not leaving here till I catch something. Can you beat it? Five days, not a single bite. Not even from a mosquito. Not one. Remember, Uncle Morse, the sport is the thing. The fish are secondary. Give me those worms. I've tried dry flies, wet flies. I've tried casting, trolling. If this doesn't work, sir, help me. I'll go and after them with a club. Hey, Uncle, look, look down there. What? Where? Down on the weeds there. See him? Ooh, in a fat one, too. Be quiet, everybody. Be very quiet now. Shh. If I can just lower the hook down there without scaring him. Easy. If you don't move. What's that, a mosquito? It's an airplane. Well, keep it quiet. Shh. Remember now, fish are jittery. Easy now. Nice fishy. Come and bite the little worm. That plane's coming this way, Uncle. Go away, plane. He's diving. It's a power dive. Look at that crazy come. Oh, the crazy fool. Look out, everybody. Duck! Young man, you come out of there. This is no time to guard you. That's right, Marjor. You grab hold of the boat. Oh. Yes. Leo, are you grab hold of me? Yeah. I'll grab. Hey, look what I grabbed. The fish. I got the little son of a gun. I got him bare-handed. Oh, he's slippery. Put him down in front of your sweater, Uncle. Yes. I had to get away from that lake where I had razz material. What is it? Well, with any luck, we ought to be home by dark. But be sure and take good care of that fish back there. Oh, don't you worry about that fish. He can take care of himself. That's the powerfulest fish I ever smelled. Well. Some fish are gameier than others. You sort of have to expect that of a trout. That ain't no trout, Mr. Gill, please. What do you mean? That trout's a clown. Don't you talk that way about my trout? Well, whatever it is, it's getting higher than a goat. Why, Marjorie, I don't smell anything. Oh, of course you don't, with those cigars. If you don't stop smoking those things, this fish is going to be kippered before you get them home. So are we. No fooling, Mr. Gill, please. Don't you think we ought to stop somewhere and give him a decent burial? Nothing doing. That fish is all I got to show for a misspent week. If he bothers you, you can hang him out the window or something. Hey, that's an idea. Hang him on the fishing rod and stick him out back. Here, I'll do it. Now, don't let him get away. What are you expecting to do? If I'm his way back to Lake Hatt-McCat? Well, what's that guy talking about? All right, brother, come on. Are you going to pass? What do you want? Got a fish you think? No, don't. I think the man had never seen a fish before. Miss Gill, please. What is it, Bernie? I ain't sure, Mr. Gill, please, but it looks like there's some seagulls following us. Oh, fine. Yes, that's what this is. They're after your fish, please. Pull in your line, Leroy. Pull in your line. Play him, boy. Play him. I have more trouble with birds. Oh! Go away, birds. Go away. Let's get this stuff out of here before it gets any darker. Don't forget that fish. If we could. I got the lunch bag, and who's going to carry all these bags? Thanks. Leroy, while you're resting, old man. Yeah. Watch your step, Marjorie. It's pretty dark. You? Something's graphing. Leroy, what did I tell you about those croquet wickets? I don't know. Yeah. Look out for that mole trap there, folks. Gosh, feel that grass. I bet it's grown eight inches since we've been away. Leroy, first thing tomorrow morning. I know. While I'm resting. Yes. Hey, somebody left a light on upstairs. Where? In my bathroom. Birdie, has that been burning all the time we've been away? Wasn't me, Miss Guilty. Well, who was it then? I don't know, Miss Guilty, but it's in your bathroom. Yes, well, that's right. Well, come on. Bring the bags, folks. Oh, it's stuffy in this house. Don't forget to put that fish in the icebox, Birdie. The icebox isn't built. They could hold that fish. Oh, Miss Guilty. Miss Guilty. Somebody's been in the kitchen. What do you mean? Tramps, the jifties, or somebody. How do you know, Birdie? There's dirt and dishes all over the place. Miss Guilty, you don't think maybe it's been burglars? Yes, burglars. Well, we'll have to see about this, Birdie. Miss Marjorie, you and me better go count that silver. What is it? It's a shower, Uncle Mark. Shower? You didn't go up and leave it running. Certainly not. I always turn that little... There's somebody in it. There's somebody up there right now. How do you like that for a nurse? It takes a shower before he robs the joint. It's no use, Leroy. The wires are cut. How do you know? They always are. It's the first thing robbers do. But you can't wait for the police, Uncle Mark. You've got to go up there and get him. You're right, Marjorie. Who, me? I'll guard the back stairs, Miss Guilty. And if you come down that way, I'll party scalp with this meat shopper. Yes. Yes. You do that, Birdie, but do it quietly. And you go up the front stairs. Yes. Wait a minute. Maybe we'd better think this over a little first. A lot of angles to this. Leroy, you stand by. Okay, Uncle. I've got my baseball back. Marjorie, you sneak out and run for the cops. Well, here I go. If nobody stops me. Be careful, Uncle Mark. Yeah, yeah. How? It quickly starts pushing, Leroy. I wish it wasn't so dark. I don't dare turn on the light. I'm a little vulnerable on the light. Well, here I go. To those squeaky stairs. It's probably these $6 shoes. I mustn't get excited. Doctor said I mustn't get excited. I'll bet he'd get excited, though. Well, now that I'm here, I want... Uh-oh. I can see you moving around behind the shower curtain. What do I do now? Remember what the coach used to say, Guilty? Get him below the knees, boy. The wish I'd never broken training. Come on, Guilty. Give him what you gave, Harvard. 29, 33, 76. Get up! Let go of it! Let go of it! Now, please! Please! Kill this, please! Hooker, what are you doing here? Well, what does it look like I'm doing? I'm taking your shower. Any objections? Yes. What are you doing in my house? Well, Peter's working on mine, so I thought I'd just move over here for a few days. I didn't think you'd mind. Matter of fact, I didn't expect you back so soon. I'll bet you didn't. Hooker, you knew you were going to move in here the minute you got me out of town. That's why you suggested that trip. Morton, I'm hurt that you'd say a thing like that. Come clean, Hooker. You just had a bath. You knew it all the time. I had to have the house painted. You know that. It was a disgrace. Yeah. I can't stand the smell of paint. It gives me colic. You wouldn't want me to go... No, I wouldn't want you to have colic. Anything I have is your judgment. You know that. Move in any time. Make yourself at home. Wreck the joint. There's one little thing, Judgeee. About Lake Hackma Tag. Lovely spot. Yes, lovely. But there's no cross there. You know it. Now, there you're wrong, Crockmorton. You just didn't try the right place. Don't tell me I combed that lake from one end to the other. Well, no wonder. You should have tried the place where I got mine. Where was that? At the Hackma Tag souvenir shop. Well, Judge, let's let bygones be bygones, huh? Let's be friends. You mean that, Crockmorton? You mean you forgive me? Certainly, I mean it. There's my hand on it. Gildy, my friend, I take back everything I've ever said about you. Uh, seems to me this calls for a little drink, huh, Judge? Birdie, bring the judge a bottle of that special root beer. You may think you've tasted root beer, Judge, but you're gonna get an old bang out of this. Good night. On this program of composes conducted by Billy Mills, this is Dan Alexander speaking for the Makers of Pat Steps and inviting you to tune in again next week at the same time for the further adventures of the great Gilders League.