 Mystery House. Mystery House, that strange publishing firm owned by Dan and Barbara Glenn, where each new novel is acted out by the Mystery House staff before it is accepted for publication. Mystery House. Well, Barbie, I've read the script for tonight's story and I'd be willing to bet it'll fool the folks. Well, it certainly fools me. Well, shouldn't you change it then, Mr. Glenn? Change it? Why? We want to keep folks baffled. Well, with a detective story, I guess that's right. Oh, guess it, I know. Well, people don't want to be fooled about facts, though, Mr. Glenn. They want the absolute truth. I think this is leading up to something, Tom. What absolute truth are you trying to put across tonight? Uh, thanks, Mrs. Glenn. Thanks for the opening. Just listening, you will find out. Okay, places, everybody. Set the scene for tonight's story, will you, Tom? Murder takes practice. Tonight's story opens in the luxuriously furnished study of Fred Ellsworth, an elderly gentleman who has called a private detective to his home. I want you to live right in this house with us, Barton, and if you need more men, get them. Expenses not to be a factor. Understand? Are you sure somebody's trying to murder you, Mr. Ellsworth? You know, murder isn't a very complicated thing. All a killer has to do is kill. I've told you somebody's trying to murder me. You're to accept what I tell you while you're working for me. Okay, but there might be another angle. If anybody wanted to kill you, why wouldn't you be dead by this time? Consider what's happened. First, my great-dane dog dies. The veterinarian performs an autopsy, and the cause of death is arsenic, enough to kill a herd of horses. Well, maybe somebody didn't like the dog. I've always been sort of edgy about those big dogs myself. I'm not a fool, Barton. Do you think I am? Perhaps I'd better call some other detective agency. Let me show you what I found, or rather what Patty found in one of the waste baskets. Who's Patty? My niece. Here. Look at it. Yeah, what is it? Looks like an architect's drawing. Yes, but it's a drawing of my bedroom. Everything in the room marked in. And notice that dotted line in the window to the bed. Another dotted line in the door to the bed. Another from the bath to my bed. What of it? I've been awakened three different mornings by a dried bean hitting my face. A bean shot with some force. And I suspect those beans have come from the three places shown on the diagram. The window, the hall, the bath. Do you see anybody? No. The first time I didn't even look. I was too startled. And I hadn't seen this fool diagram. But if anybody were really trying to kill you... It would have been a bullet, not a bean. Of course, I know that. Anybody would know that. Well, and I don't see what makes you think you're slated for murder. Somebody's practicing, Barton. Practicing? People don't practice on murder. I'm up against a killer who's taking no chances. Who wants to be sure of committing a perfect crime. Well, and you must have some idea of who the killer is. Of course I have. Somebody in my household, naturally. Why do you say naturally? Because there isn't a person in this place I wouldn't suspect of it. Even your niece? She showed me that diagram, certainly. But if you were planning a murder, don't you think it would be rather clever to act like you were helping to prevent it? Why should she kill you? She fancies I've done her some grave injuries, the little fool. Injuries? Like what? Both she and Lucien are wards of mine. Lucien is my late sister's son. Patti is my late brother's daughter. I think they'd be pretty grateful to you for taking them in. Patti wants control of her money. She wants all kinds of things. She wants to marry a no good moronic gigolo. Oh, she has money of her own then. In trust to be given her at the discretion of a board of which I'm the chairman. Well, how about the boy, Lucien? He doesn't have a dime of his own and never will have until I die. He's fond of you, is he? He hates me. He feels very much injured because I forced him to take engineering so he can take a place in my organization. Engineering, huh? Engineers make plans and diagrams, don't they? Yes. Who is it? All right, all right, come in. I didn't know you had anyone with you. Carrie, this is Mr. Barton. He's going to stay with us a while. A new butler? That's very nice. This house has been so upset since the last one... No, no, he's not a butler. Mr. Barton's a detective. A detective? But why, I don't... I'm going to find out who killed Nader, Carrie. Oh, but don't you think it was an accident, cousin Fred? She was such a big dog. Nonsense, Carrie. Dogs don't eat arsenic by accident. It's not even big dogs. No, I suppose not. Oh, dear, I do hope you don't think I'm being rude, Mr. Barton, but this is going to complicate things. Well, I won't be any bother. At least I'll try not to be, Miss... Tinley. Carrie, Tinley. I, uh... Well, I sort of keep house for cousin Fred. And with the cook, believe me... Oh, don't act like a martyr, Carrie. She only left two days ago. And if you'd ever get firm with the employment agency... Oh, I was quite insistent, cousin Fred, but you see, the last cook, Myrtle, told them at the agency why she had left, and they won't send any more. We'll discuss that later, Carrie. Just a second. Miss Tinley, why did the last cook leave? It's of no consequence, Barton. Yeah, but why did she leave, Miss Tinley? Why? That will do, Carrie. Mr. Ellsworth, I'm going to help you. I have to know what's going on here. This doesn't concern you, Barton. I'll see you later, Carrie. Yes. Miss Tinley, why did the cook leave? Why? I don't know that I should tell you, Mr. Barton. You're working for me, and you'll follow my orders. Yeah? Unless I can run things the way I want to, I'm not working for you or anybody else, Mr. Ellsworth. What's all the row? Oh, hello, Patty. Your uncle doesn't want Miss Tinley to tell me why the cook left. I should rather think not. Please. The only solution I can think of is for Uncle Fred to do all the cooking himself. Why? He frightens them all out of their wits, insisting that they taste a little of everything in front of him. Patty! You see, he's afraid his food may be poisoned. Oh, is that right, Mr. Ellsworth? I'm not a crank, Barton, regardless of what you think. Well, it's really pretty stupid, Mr. Barton. A month ago, he ate some fish that didn't agree with it. It was poisoned. None of the rest of us suffered any ill effects. No, because none of the rest of you were eating poisoned food. It was aimed at me. A guilty conscience does strange things, Uncle Fred. You think people are trying to kill you because you think deep down in your heart that they have a reason to... Don't maybe you can talk to me like this. Oh, dear. Patty, don't you think that... I think all right. I think Uncle Fred's writing for a fall. He's played the high-handed dictator with all of us. Patty, you mustn't talk like that. Oh, don't be such a jellyfish, Carrie. He's treated you shamefully. You can't call your soul your own. Why, you could do better working as a housemaid than you do here. His own cousin. You've given the best years of your life looking out for him, and he treats you like so much dirt. You're getting pretty brave, aren't you, Patty? I don't know why I should count out to you. I've decided you're never going to let me run my own life anyway. Hi. Hey, where is everybody? In the study, Lucian. Come on. Don't call him in here. Mr. Barton and I were having a private conference. Hey, what is this? A family convention? Oh, pardon me. I don't know you, do I? This is Mr. Barton, Lucian. He's a detective. Detective? Well, what's so funny, Lucian? You are, unky. He thinks somebody's trying to kill him. Yeah. What do you think? Oh, I'm not supposed to think. Nobody else in the house has any right to think. Nobody but Uncle Fred. He does all the thinking. You'd better be careful how you talk, young man. You used to make me believe that, unky, but not anymore. Nope. You wouldn't toss me out because then you couldn't control me, and you enjoy it too much. Lucian, please don't upset cousin Fred. Please. Worry, Kerry. Neither one of us needs to worry. You're too good a workhorse to get sacked, and I'm too perfect a puppet. And he's scared anyway, Kerry. Look at him. He's lost weight this last month. He's jittery. Why, he's... Stop it, you ungrateful little bum. Ungrateful? What am I supposed to be grateful for, unky? You've never let me do anything I wanted to do. You've tried to make me a carbon copy of you. And when I look at the original, no. No, I'm not grateful. Get out, unky. This minute. I'm too with you, understand? Get out. You really mean that, unky? You bet I mean it. Oh, boy, what a break. I've been trying to get up my courage for this for a long time. And now that it's happened, wow. You ought to try it, Kerry. Lucian, you don't know what you're saying. Ellsworth, you don't really want Lucian to leave. Don't give me a chance to change his mind, Kerry. And by the way, why don't you join me? What? Oh, I don't mean come with me, but why don't you come to life and clear out of here? You'll never find a better time. Get out, Lucian, and be quick about it. Right, unky. You know, I haven't got a dime in the world and no place to go. I suppose I should be worried. But you know how I feel? Just wonderful. So long, unky. Yeah, I wanted to do that for a long time. It's a relief having it over. It wasn't very smart, Mr. Ellsworth. Look, Martin, I won't have anyone telling you. You've got me telling you right now. Just suppose Lucian is the one who's trying to murder you because he hates you. Then I'm rid of him. He knows this house like a book. And if he hated you enough to want to kill you before, how does he feel now? Get so upset, dear. You must learn to control yourself, Patty. You'd be better off if you didn't control yourself so well. Poor Lucian. I wonder what's going to happen to him. You know, I have a feeling cousin Fred will be easier to be around now that Lucian's gone. I don't like to say this, but I think Lucian was playing jokes on him. Playing jokes on him? That diagram cousin Fred made such a fuss about. I don't know whether I should tell anybody or not, but, well, I saw Lucian throw it in the waste bin. What? Well, I'll be done. You're sure, Kerry? Why, yes. We'd better tell him about it. No, no, I wouldn't want to do anything to cause anybody any trouble. Come back, please. Oh, for heaven's sakes, get some backbone, Kerry. Where is he? In his study with that detective. You know, I'm not sure I trust that man. You're afraid of your own shadow. Come on. But you mustn't go in without knocking. Cousin Fred won't permit that. You know he won't. There's nobody... Kerry, look out! It's an iron dumbbell from Lucian's gymnasium stuff. You could see it was held over the door by a piece of rope. When the door opened, the rope released it. Kerry, Kerry, that noise, what was it? About 25 pounds of concentrated iron, Uncle Fred, balanced right over your door. You see, Barton? Yeah. But this is the first time I've ever seen a murderer practice. Is somebody trying to scare Uncle Fred? Or does the would-be murderer really mean business? And why so cautious? Why not get it over in a hurry? Well, maybe that's what will happen in the second act of tonight's story. Act two of murder takes practice. It's 11 o'clock at night. And the Ellsworth family is getting ready to go to bed. I wonder where Lucian's staying tonight. I neither know nor care. Well, you're wrong there. Oh, no. If I have murder suspects, I want to keep him where I can watch him. But you surely don't think Lucian... He could hardly have engineered that dumbbell business. After all, he wasn't even here. Well, he knows his way around the place, doesn't he? I'll bet you right now I could wander around this house for weeks without any of you knowing it. After all, this is a pretty good-sized hunk of a home. Nonsense. You don't like it because I did what was proper under the circumstances instead of following your advice. Oh, that noise. What was it? Just a door slamming. No, there's somebody in this house. We'll all be killed. I'll go take a look, Miss Tinley, if it'll make you feel any easier. Halt! Wherever you are, halt or I'll shoot. I mean it! Carrie, I'm nervous enough without your screaming. All right, kid. Come on. No funny stuff. You're lucky I didn't hit you. Lucian? Well, what of it? So you were skulking around here after you'd been told to leave? I walked out without any clothes or money or anything. I wasn't gone an hour before I realized I'd need some things from my room. I didn't want to talk to any of you, so I tried to get up to my room without you knowing about it and got shot at for my pain. Do you happen to know anything about an iron dumbbell, Lucian? Huh? Oh, don't worry. I'm not taking it with me. Been checking to see if anything was missing, huh? Well, it's here. Carrie borrowed it to use as a doorstop for a bedroom door. Why? How about that, Carrie? Well, yes, I did, but... Oh, cousin Fred, you don't think that means I put the thing up over your door? It's funny you hadn't mentioned it, Carrie. There's nothing funny about it. If something from your room were used in a murder attempt, I don't think you'd mention it either. You sound like a very philosophical person, Barton. But I've got a hotel room to find tonight, so if you'll promise not to shoot at me again, I'll go on up and get my things. No, you're not leaving here tonight, Lucian. You wanna bet? I'd bet a good deal on it. You're a suspect. Oh, you flatter me. If you think I'm trying to murder Anki, I should think you'd want me to clear out in a hurry. I'd like to keep murder suspects where I can watch them. Oh, uh, by the way, that brings up what we were coming to see you about, Uncle Fred. Oh, Patty, please. Coming to see me about? Yes, I wondered what you two were doing in the study. You've both been forbidden to enter the place without my being there. But we... That is at least I thought you were there. And you know what I've always said about knocking before you come in, don't you? Well? Yes. Yes, I mentioned that to Patty when she started to open the door. Oh, let's not have another of those idiotic squabbles about the sacredness of your study. We came to tell you that Carrie... No, Patty, you mustn't. It was different when I thought Lucian had left, but now you just can't. Can't what? What is this anyway? Carrie says she saw you making that diagram of Uncle Fred's room. What? Of course I made a diagram of his room. Or rather, a floor plan. Yeah? Why? It was a classroom assignment. Floor plan of the largest bedroom in the house. I suppose it was part of your assignment to make those dotted lines from the window on the two doors to your uncle's bed. I didn't make any dotted lines. Somebody else did that. Somebody who saw me working and wanted to get me in there. No, Lucian, I wouldn't hurt you for anything. Who was it that found the plan in the wastebasket? Patty. And of all the people in the place, who gains most by Uncle's death? That's not so. But I'd get aside from what's rightfully mine already. I don't know. But I'd rather imagine both you and Carrie get the bulk of Uncle Fred's own money unless he's found time to change his will. Well, how about that, Mr. Ellsworth? Under the circumstances, Barton, I think it would be most unsur expact to me to explain my will at the moment. Yeah, I see what you mean. Well, it's time to go to bed. I'm not staying here. Yes, again, lad. I'm going to escort each of you to your rooms. I'm going to watch you go in and close your doors. And my advice is to stay there. Who is it? Who is it, I said? Answer me. Carrie, what in the world are you doing here? Didn't you hear what the detective said about staying in your own room? I'm afraid, Patty. I'm frightened after death. Lucien's here, too. And after my telling what I saw, that plan he may want to kill me, too. I'd rather you'd go back to your own room, Carrie. But together, a murderer would be afraid. I've been doing some thinking, Carrie. You admit you saw Lucien make that diagram. You ordinarily emptied the waste baskets, but you had me do it the day I found that plan. And it was you who told me Uncle Fred was in the study this afternoon when I almost got my head bashed in. Patty, no, surely you don't think that I would commit murder. Whoever this murder is, he or she is being awfully cautious. You're the most cautious person I've ever known. You have reason to hate Uncle Fred. At least as much reason as Lucien and I. But that's not true. Carrie, just what would you gain by Uncle Fred's death? You mustn't say such a thing, Patty. Help! Help! Somebody will love a heaven! Great help! That's Uncle Fred. Come on. All right, stay in your rooms, all of you, till I tell you differently. Oh, hang it, all of you, out here. Okay, come on. It smells like chloroform in here. I can't stand. He's all right. We got to him in time. He can't be clear under. Hey, come on. Come on, wake up. Oh. Here's the cause. On his bed, right by the pillow. All right, soaked with chloroform. Get it out the window before it makes the rest of us groggy. Okay. I woke up feeling sick. That sickly sweet smell. I was dizzy. I tried to get up out of bed, and I couldn't. I fell out, I guess, and started crawling to the door. I called. Thank goodness you heard me. But who would have chloroform? This stuff always makes me sick. A few folks had followed my instructions. We'd know now who did this. Why? Because after you went to bed, I stuck a little piece of black thread on each door frame. I stuck it on with a dab of chewing gum and then draped the thread over the doorknob. That's very clever. Yeah, it would have been. They hadn't of all come rushing out when you called. I don't suppose I can blame them. I'm glad somebody came. This time, Barton, I'd like to be with you when they go to their rooms. And I'm serving notice. I'm locking mine from the inside. Those threads are in place across your doorknobs. Now, if anything else should happen, don't come out under any circumstances until I tell you to. Anybody who opens the door is open to suspicion as a would-be murderer. I hit that straight, all of you. Okay, Mr. Ellsworth, come on. Yes. Do you suppose any of them could hear us now, Barton? I don't see how. I have a plan to trap the murderer. A plan that will work. What kind of a plan? Here. You take my gun. You go to my room, I'll go to yours. I don't think there'll be any more murder attempts tonight. Those little threads should keep everybody at home now that they know about them. I'm not so sure. You get into my bed. Keep the gun ready and don't go to sleep. Okay. It might be worth a try at that. At least it'll keep you from being nervous. Thanks. And good night. Hey, hey, watch out. I just second. I'll turn on the light. No. No, they might be watching. It would never do to let them know we're together. We can talk in the dark. Okay, go ahead. What's on your mind? That day you came to my office soliciting business as a private detective. Yeah, what about it? I got to thinking about it afterwards. You asked a good many questions. What of it? You weren't actually soliciting business. You were doing business right then, weren't you? What makes you think that? Who'd hired you to spy on me, Martin? Harlow Morton. He wanted you to find out why I wouldn't let Patty marry him, didn't he? Sure. You can't blame him, can you? What did you tell him? I told him I thought you'd stolen the girl's money and didn't dare let her get married. What made you think that? A little checking into your finances. And just what did you advise him to do about it? I told him there wasn't a thing in the world he could do about it unless he wanted to lose his own shirt in a slander suit. But if I'd stolen money... You could produce enough to cover, although it would strap you. And you're in charge of the trust. You'd be okay, and Harlow Morton would be at your mercy. You'd get enough damages to put you back on top again. You gave him very excellent advice. I hope he paid you well for it. Well, enough. Why? Didn't you think it odd that I should hire you to handle these murder attempts for me? No, not at all. Most people don't know many private detectives. What a pity. What would you say if I were to tell you that everything that's happened has been leading up to this? It's all part of a plan. What are you talking about? Everything that's happened, I've done myself. Nobody ever suspect a man of trying to murder himself, would they? I put the dotted lines on the floor plan. The story about the dried beans was pure fabrication. I poisoned the dog. I never liked the animal, anyway. I put that dumbbell over the door. I put the chlorophon soaked rag next to my pillow. You don't say. Why? To establish that somebody was trying to murder me. I knew what I was doing all the time. Okay, I'll bite. What were you doing? Building a plan to rid myself of Patty and you. Well, maybe I'm dense, Ellsworth, but I don't get it. And you were supposed to be a detective. First, let me assure you that there's no use firing that revolver I gave you. You've instructed everybody to stay in their rooms till you call and you'd never get a chance to call. That gun's loaded with blanks. Pretty cute, Mr. Ellsworth. The gun I have in my hand is a little pearl-handled revolver that Patty kept hidden in her dresser and is well covered with her fingerprints. I'm wearing gloves. And I've already removed the string from her door. My story will be that you asked me to change places with you. It'll sound perfectly logical. After all, you were a detective trying to catch a murderer. I'll have plenty of time to get back to your room again. Thanks to your instruction. I take it you're going to shoot me. Marvelous deduction. Okay. You're too smart for me. No, no, you don't. If you were firing at a bunch of bedding rolled up and put under the covers, Ellsworth, it may be dumb, but one trick they teach you early in this game is you can't tell what direction a voice is coming from in the dark. You trick me. You. But it's not too late yet. It's later than you think, Auntie, much later. Lucian, you! Barton came and got me right after you got into his bed, Auntie. I've heard the whole works. And this gun I'm pointing at the back of your head is unloaded with any blanks. That chloroform soaked rag was the tip-off, Ellsworth. You had chloroform burns on your fingers, and none of the rest of them did. Ellsworth, I've seen some bunglers in my time, but you top them all. You took more practice than any murderer who'd ever lived and still muffed it.