 وَأَقُولُوا فِي القُرْآنِ مَا جَاءَتْ بِهِ اَيَاتُوهُ فَهُوَ الْكَارِيمُ الْمُنْزَالُوْ وَأَقُولُوا قَالَ اللَّهُ جَلَّ جَلَالُوْهُ وَالْمُصْطَافَ الْهَاديِ وَلَا أَتْ أَوَّالُوْ الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على أبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته كل محاولة هو بسبب الله عز وجل ألون نسأل الله عز وجل لأجل المجموعة ومجموعة ومسجر محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم لأجهزة عائلته وأجهزة عائلته نحن نتحدث عن تربية نتواجه نتواجه نتواجه عائلتنا في حالة عباداته حالة إيمانه وعباده وحالة عباداته وفي حالة عباده وفي حالة عبادة تربية في الإسلام now instead of going through definitions and examples and things like that of تربية from just from the books of the scholars and so on I thought it would be really beneficial if we were to go through some examples of تربية from the Quran and perhaps the most prominent example that comes to mind is the advice of Luqman to his son and Luqman he was a wise man scholars differed over over that what who exactly Luqman was but it said that he was a wise man that used to he used to teach the people good before the prophet of his time came and when the prophet of his time came he stepped back and he gave that position to that particular prophet but in any case that is said to be the stronger opinion that he wasn't a prophet but that he was a wise man that was given wisdom by Allah and Allah mentioned his example in Surah Luqman and we're going to start from ayah number 12 in which Allah said وَلَقَادَ أَا تَيْنَا لُقْمَانَ الْحِكْمَتَ أنِشْكُرْ لِلَّهَ وَمَنْ يَشْكُرْ فَإِنَّ مَا يَشْكُرُنِ نَفْسِهِ وَمَنْ كَافَرَ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَانِيُنْ حَمِيدِ we certainly gave Luqman wisdom Luqman he's known by this since Allah said this about him he's known as Luqman al-Hakeem Luqman the wise he was given wisdom from Allah أنِشْكُرْ لِلَّهَ to be grateful to Allah and if you notice what we are told about Luqman all of the things that we are told about Luqman are all things about the way that he advised his son and the tarbiyah that he had for his son and perhaps this is one of the ways that Luqman showed his gratitude to Allah perhaps we can take this as a benefit and Allah knows best that the gratitude that Luqman showed to Allah from that gratitude was that he showed gratitude to Allah for his son and that he taught his son and he gave the right tarbiyah to his son and this is an example of the gratitude that Luqman had towards Allah and whoever shows gratitude they only show gratitude to the benefit of themselves it's yourself if you're grateful to Allah you don't benefit Allah Allah doesn't need your gratitude but if you're grateful to Allah then you benefit you are the one who benefits from it and whoever is ungrateful then Allah is غني ين حميد Allah is free of all need and worthy of all praise so Allah doesn't need the worship of his servants but when they worship Allah that's what Allah deserves and that's what brings them good and then we're told about the advice of Luqman and when Luqman said to his son while he was admonishing him all my son do not make a partner with Allah indeed making a partner with Allah is a great oppression here we begin with the advice of Luqman to his son and the admonishment that Luqman gave to his son and from there are their entire articles books and even chapters that are written just on the advice of Luqman to his son and the role and the value of it in nurturing and educating our children the first thing is that Luqman took it upon himself to give advice to his son to give him the knowledge and the information that he would need to prepare him going forward in his life and that admonishment that he gave him that that that speech and he gave him that advice and he said those words to him that shows that he took his responsibility as a parent and he took the importance of a طربية the importance of nurturing his son and he gave him those words of advice that until this day we hold them to be among the most valuable of all of the advice that has been given on the topic of طربية and Allah سبحانه وتعالى preserved that advice for us in the Quran and he said to his son يا بونية and this is from the the etiquettes of طربية that he said all my son and بونية it's a it's a sweet way of addressing your child because you can say يا والدي or my son or my child يا ابني you can say like without it being so sweet and soft but he said يا بونية all my son in a gentle and soft way بونية is a gentle and soft way of saying it so he spoke to him softly وهو يعظو he's reminding him and he's giving him important words and he'll have to take on board and implement but he speaks to him softly and gently يا بونية and that's how طربية should be طربية should be with رفق and lean and we're going to come to this later on it could be with softness and gentleness to begin with at least in the initial the default position should be softness and gentleness يا بونية لا تشرك بالله or my son do not be the son by teaching him you know the alphabet by teaching him the you know mathematics or by teaching him how to make money in the dunya what did he start his advice with or my son do not make a partner with Allah because ultimately that is what really matters that's what that's what counts يوم القيام that's what's going to be the difference between your children are going to go being جنة or now the difference is going to be whether you made a partner with Allah so it doesn't matter whether your child is rich or poor it doesn't matter whether your child gets a good job or not it doesn't matter whether your child is quote unquote educated or quote unquote uneducated none of that determines their جنة and then are what determines that he didn't start with even any of the other sins either he started with the greatest sin he didn't start with any of the other sins he didn't start with or my son don't commit immorality or my son don't lie or my son he started with the most important the most important or my son if you if there is just one sin that you avoid that we can give to our children so how sad is it and how it's just their own words to describe how sad it is to see parents that they give their children everything but they don't give them this they give their children education they give their children a beautiful place to live they give their children money and they give them happiness in terms of the worldly life but they never ever teach their children يا بوني لا تشرك بالله or my son إن الشركة لظلم عظيم because making a partner with Allah is the greatest example of ظلم and ظلم is in in the linguistic sense it is وضع شي في غير موضع putting something where it doesn't belong and there is no greater example of putting something where it doesn't belong than the example of giving some of the rights of Allah to someone or something else any of the rights of Allah whether that's the right of Allah as it relates to worship whether that's the right of Allah as it relates to His names and attributes or His Lordship whether it's the right of Allah as it relates to our actions towards Allah or whether it's the right of Allah as it relates to Allah's actions towards us ultimately we don't give the right of Allah ازواجل to anyone or anything else because that is the greatest example of putting something in the wrong place putting something where it doesn't belong إن الشركة لظلم عظيم and we can also take from this that he gave he explained the concept to his son he gave the the reason and the concept and he didn't just say to him يا بونية لا تشرك بالله full stop oh my son don't make a partner with Allah and then move on he explained to him and he gave more of a reason to understand إن الشركة لظلم عظيم because making a partner with Allah is the greatest oppression that a person can do is the greatest oppression there is no oppression greater than that so he started and this is a principle in طربيه that you start with إن الشركة لظلم عظيم you start with the most important thing and then you look at the next things we're not going to say it's not important to give your children an education we're not going to say it's not important to look after your children's manners and the way they deal with other people or to look at you know to look at them having a comfortable childhood environment to grow up in all of these things have their place but don't neglect the most important thing يا بني لا تشرك بالله إن الشركة لظلم عظيم oh my son don't make a partner with Allah making a partner with Allah is the worst kind of oppression and then الله عزوجل mentioned the rights of the parents والصين الإنسان بوالدي حملته أمه وهنن على وهن وفي صاله في عامين أنشكر لي كأيلية المصير وإن أمه في بوك إن this is like an aside it's like the words of لكماان and then that there is a break here in the ayat where Allah عزوجل speaks about the rights of the parents I found that some of the scholars of Islam when they spoke about this advice of لكماان they included this within the advice that this is the advice to be good to your parents and the importance of fulfilling the rights of the parents and this is something we're going to talk about extensively when we come to the section on the rights of the parents and the obligations of the children towards their parents but the ayat as so we can complete the ayat and give them in the complete form and we have commanded mankind with regard to his parents to be good to his parents his mother carried him in weakness upon weakness and hardship upon hardship his weaning took place over two years that that child might show gratitude to Allah and to his parents وَالِوَالِيْدَيْكَ أَنِشْكُرْ لِوَالِيْوَالِيْدَيْكَ إِلَيْهِ الْمَصِيرَ that you show thanks to me I to Allah and to your parents and you know that to Allah will be your destination so here we can also take from this because this comes among the advice of Luqman to his son that this is also a part of what a parent instills upon the children and that is the responsibility of the child towards their parent and linking that to the rights of Allah the right of Allah يا بني لا تشرك بالله إن الشركة لا ظلم عظيم oh my son don't make a partner with Allah indeed making a partner with Allah is the greatest kind of oppression and link the right of the parents إن الشكول لي وَلِوَا لِدَيْكَ إِلَيْهِ الْمَصِيرَ that you show gratitude to me and you show gratitude to your parents gratitude to me and you show gratitude to your parents gratitude to Allah and gratitude to your parents and that's important to put it in that context some parents when they teach their children the only thing that they teach their children is the right of the parents and they neglect the right of Allah but in reality we have to teach them the right of Allah first and the right of the parents and then link the two together إن شكول لي وَلِوَا لِدَيْكَ so that you may show gratitude to Allah first of all because Allah comes first and Islam comes first and you may also show gratitude to your parents and they are the most deserving of the rights to be fulfilled after the right of Allah سبحانه وتعالى وإن جاهدك على أن تشتك بما ليس لك به علم فلا توطيعهما وصاحبهما في الدنيا معروفة واتبع سبيل من أناب إلي ثم إلي مرجعكم فأونبيعكم بما كنتم تعملون ثم الله عزوجل تخبرنا أن حتى إذا إذا كنتم أصبحت لكي أصبحت لكي أصبحت مع الله في ذلك لن تخبرهم لأن as we said لا طاعة لما خلوك في معصية الخالق there is no obedience to creation and disobedience to the creator we spoke about how your children could take you away from Allah if you are not careful or likewise your parents could also command you to do something that takes you away from Allah but as a child you do not obey anyone if it means disobeying Allah but وصاحبهما في الدنيا معروفة you still accompany your parents in this world in the best way you still accompany them spend time with them speak with them have good manners with them even if they tell you to make a partner with Allah and look at how this is related to the statement of Luqman إن شركة لظلمون عظيم making a partner with Allah is the greatest kind of oppression and still if your parents command you to make a partner with Allah you still don't leave them you don't make hajr of them you don't abandon them and turn away from them but you continue to call them to Islam and you continue even though you don't obey them in that you continue to give them that صحبة that accompaniment in the dunya in the best possible way and then Allah and follow the path of those who turn to me in repentance and then know to me will be your return and I will inform you about what you used to do then the advice we return back to the advice of Luqman the ayat go back to the advice of Luqman that Luqman said he said oh my son and again he addresses him with such a beautiful sweet way of addressing him يا بني oh my little boy my little son and it doesn't mean that his son was necessarily and he's small but it's the way that he's addressing him in such a nice way oh my son if there is the weight of a seed or the weight of a mustard seed and this was inside of a rock or anywhere in the heavens or anywhere in the earth Allah will bring it forth here we speak about the tarbia of our children as it relates to the مراقبة of Allah سبحانه وتعالى knowing that Allah is watching you knowing that Allah سبحانه وتعالى sees what you do and wallahi this is from the greatest of the things that we can educate and nurture our children upon and remember tarbia is not just about educating them and that's it we just teach them my children don't make a partner with Allah my children be aware that Allah is watching you but instead it's a matter of nurturing them like constantly encouraging them to have this kind of mindset always encouraging them to have this belief and have this mindset and one of the greatest things you can nurture your children upon is the مراقبة of Allah عز وجل to know that Allah سبحانه وتعالى is watching you and this brings us to the statement of the Prophet about إحسان in the حديث of جبريل أن تعبد الله كأنك فإن لم تكن تراه فإنه يراك that you worship Allah as though you can see him and even though you can't see him you know that he sees you look at what he said there was even a seed the side of a mustard seed a tiniest little seed the size of a mustard seed and if it was deep within the earth or anywhere in the heavens in the earth if it was hidden inside of the rock or it was in the heavens of the earth Allah سبحانه وتعالى will bring it forth فمن يعمل مدقال ذرط خير ومن يعمل ذرط whoever does even an atom's weight of good we'll see it and he teaches his children and he encourages his children to be aware that Allah is watching you and ultimately that requires the parent to be an example right you know سبحانه وتعالى how many times we fall into this era that we feel that what matters is how we are in front of other people and the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he mentioned a group of people إذا خلق بما حارم الله انتهكوها a group of people that their deeds will come يوم القيامة and they'll be like the mountains they'll be turned to dust why? because when they were alone with what Allah made حرام they fell into it and that doesn't mean that you'll never do حرام when you're alone it doesn't mean that but what it means is that the person didn't see it to be worth anything they didn't see it was important that when they were alone and no one saw them but Allah they didn't think it was important the only thing they thought was important is what they did in front of everybody else that's what they saw to be important that's what they considered to be worthwhile what they did in front of other people but what they did when Allah that nobody sees them except Allah they didn't see it to be important so they fell into all kinds of حرام they close the door and they lock the door and they don't care what they do they fall into all of the حرام انتهكوها they fell into all of those kinds انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها انتهكوها حتى أنه ليس عن ذلك ، إنه عن مراقبة الله عز و جل تحاول أطفالنا أن نعرف أن الله يشاهدهم و أن ما يحدث هو أن الله يعرف ما يفعله لأنه حتى أنك تفعيل أطفالك و تعرف ما يفعلك هذا لا يستطيع أن يساعد الأمر هذا لا يستطيع أن يساعدك في كل حالك هذا لا يستطيع أن يساعدك عندما تفعله لأنك ستفعله جيدا كما أنك في مدينة أطفالك و كم so many people are like that كم so many Muslims fall into that و then he told his son he taught his son establish the prayer and command what is good and forbid what is evil and be patient over what will happen to you or what will afflict you indeed this is from the matters that require determination so he told his son Subhanallah look at the beautiful he told him he told his son my son don't make a partner with Allah because making a partner with Allah is the worst kind of oppression the greatest form of oppression he told his son to develop the مراقبة of Allah to know that Allah is watching you to know that you can't hide something from Allah to know that Allah will call you and hold you to account for what you have done and then he told his son all my son have performed the Salah أقيم الصلاة because the Salah has such an important position in the religion of Islam the messenger of Allah فمن تركها فقد كفر the difference between us and them is the prayer and whoever leaves it has disbelieved and الله عز وجل told us in the Quran Subhanallah that's what we want for our children right we want our children to stop doing wrong things to have to be righteous to be that well-d صالح that righteous child يدعو ل that calls or makes dua to Allah عز وجل for their parents after their parents are passed away but that's only going to come when we establish and we teach our children to perform the Salah أقيم الصلاة and we're going to talk about this Insha'Allah later on about the ages and things like that طربية is the age-specific or the age-specific nature of طربية but he's أقيم الصلاة and he tells his son oh my son, perform the prayer be from the people who perform the prayer وَأَمُرْ بِلْ مَعْرُفْ and command that which is good وَنْهِ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرْ and forbid that which is evil and that is the situation of the best of people because the best of people are those people who الله عز وجل has adorned them with إيمان and they call to that which is good and they forbid that which is evil and that's why Allah عز وجل told us in Surah Al-Imran كنتم خير أمة أخرجك للناس تأمرون بالمعروف وتنهون عن المنكري وتؤمنون بالله you're the best of the people that's ever the best nation that's ever been brought out for the people you command what is good and you forbid what is evil and you believe in Allah and that is the status that's the worst of the description of the best of people they have إيمان they command what is good and they forbid what is evil I know that commanding good and forbidding evil that requires its own episode and it's probably outside of the topic that we have on the Muslim family but it requires its own lecture and its own topic because there are so many rulings and regulations about how to do that and to do it properly but to teach our children when you see something wrong that you should have a desire within yourself to stop that in the way that Islam makes permissible and the way that Islam has legislated for you and you should be people who go around it and spread the good give dawah call the people to the good tell the people to do good stop people from doing wrong but when you do that when you have that description of the best of the people and that's better than the person who is a person of إيمان but they keep that إيمان to themselves they're a person of إيمان but their إيمان is for themselves only they don't tell the people to do good they don't give دعوة to Allah they don't forbid the people from doing that which is wrong and the greatest good you can tell a person to do is it توحيد to worship Allah alone and the greatest evil you can prevent people from is شرك is making a partner with Allah and then after that all of the other commandments and the sins each in accordance to the level that Allah has given it and when you do that what will happen you will need to be patient وصبر على ما أصابق be patient with what will happen to you because ultimately he's teaching his son a life lesson that when you go and you call the people to توحيد and you forbid the people from شرك and you call the people to سنة and you forbid the people from بدع and you call the people to أطاعة to obedience to Allah and you forbid them from المعصير from the sins what's going to happen the same thing that happened to the أمبياء and the رسل the prophets and the messengers you're going to need patience so he's preparing didn't we say that تربية is preparing your children for what they're going to need preparing your children for what they're going to need going forward so here he sees that my son I'm teaching you perform the prayer command what is good forbid what is evil and I'm preparing you for the fact that you're going to need to be patient وصبر على ما أصابق in your life رغاوص of how much of the ordering the good and forbidding the evil you do everyone in their life is going to have things that happen to them that are difficulties troubles so you prepare your children for that and you teach them and nurture them how to manage when the situation is not as they would wish it to be and that is one of the greatest life lessons we can teach our children how to manage in the situation of the مصيب the situation of the كلمة and the extreme difficulty how do we cope with that and he teaches his son and he prepares him for it mentally إِنَّ ذَالِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ this is going to require determination it's not easy it's not easy to manage when things are difficult it's not easy easy to manage when you have a calamity happen to you it's not easy to manage when the people reject you and the people ridicule you or the people push you away or they threaten you or insult you it's not easy to manage it's going to require العزم it's going to require determination so he's building the character of his child and character building is one of the most fundamental parts of طربية building the character of the person the شخصية of the child the character building the character and one of the aspects in the character is العزم determination to be determined and no doubt we're going to talk about that that requires the توفيق of Allah and it requires putting your trust in Allah and the trust in Allah but having that determination to carry on even when difficulties happen to you then he continued with his advice لقمان عليه السلام he said ولا تصعر خدك للناس ولا تمشي في الأرض مرحا إن الله لا يحب كل مختال فخور الله عزف جل told us about the advice of لقمان as it continues and don't ولا تصعر خدك للناس this expression is an expression that relates to the camel and what it means is that you kind of show the people your cheek and you show and it's kind of an expression of pride and seeing yourself above the people ولا تمشي في الأرض مرحا and don't walk on the earth مرحا and that situation of again it's pride and haughtiness and seeing yourself to be above other people don't turn your cheek to the people ولا تصعر خدك للناس don't turn your cheek to the people in a way and it's a symbol of pride and a symbol of you seeing yourself to be above them and don't make the way that you walk a walk of pride إن الله لا يحب كل مختال فخور Allah does truly Allah does not love every arrogant poster look at what لقمان has now moved on to he's moved on to teaching his son the etiquettes of how to interact with other people in the context of what the context of Islam سبحان الله look at the difference here it's not just it's not just that he's teaching his son etiquettes and how to behave towards other people teaching your children manners basically right but he's teaching him manners in the light of Islam and that's why we said that whenever the tarbiyah deals with the mu'amalat how to deal with other people it's always فيضو الإسلام فيضو الكتاب والصنة in the light of the Quran and the sunnah that's how we teach our children the etiquettes and the matter and the etiquettes that are the things that are beloved to Allah and the things that Allah عز وجل hates Allah عز وجل hates for a person to show pride and warthiness and insolence and to walk on the earth in that way that insolent way and Allah doesn't love every arrogant booster سبحان الله but this is an etiquette of how you deal with people so لقمان is teaching his son how to deal with people but he's and how to behave towards people and he has manners and etiquettes but he's teaching them in the light of what Allah عز وجل loves because ultimately the Prophet صعيص him like he said إنما بعثتوا لأتمم مكارم الأخلاق I was only sent to complete the best of manners I was only sent to complete the best of manners and that includes manners with Allah عز وجل يا بونية لا تشرك بالله ومي صندوا make a partner for the people as well and that's a part of Islam so we teach our children manners but we don't teach it independently of Islam we teach it in the light of Islam and then he said وقصد في مشيك وغبض من صوتك إن أنكر الأصوات لصوت الحمير he said be moderate in your walking and we know that Islam requires moderation in everything وكذلك جعلناكم أمة وصطة like this we've made you a moderate a middle umm be moderate in your walking وغبض من صوتك and lower your voice don't make your voice don't shout out above the people some of the scholars they mentioned this is an etiquette in terms of when a person has knowledge they don't need to raise their voice people who raise their voice and shout over other people it's because they don't have the they don't have the they don't have the evidence they don't have knowledge to be able to argue their point so they just raise their voices but in reality when you're raising your voice and just making a loud noise it's not something that signifies that signifies knowledge and that's why he said at the end إن أنكر العصوات لصوت الحمير the most hated of sounds is the bring of a donkey the bring of the donkey that's not something that comes with knowledge it's just a noise it's a noise that is أنكر العصوات it's the most hated of sounds it's just a noise but it's not it doesn't signify knowledge and etiquettes and manners it's just part of the تاربئة that he taught to his son that الله عزو جل told us about إن النكراء when you speak with people lower your voice let you overcome people through your evidence through your حجة through your knowledge don't overcome them by raising your voice and shouting over them like the سوت الحمير like the voice or like the bring of the donkey and likewise when you walk among the people be moderate don't be the one في أي أسلحة على أحد أسلحة أو أخرى. وهذا فقط مجرد تربية أن لقمان, أنه أعطيه أسلحة المجرد أن الله أعطينا في القرآن لقمان وإنهي سن. لكنه يوجد so many lessons within it. سبحانه وتعالى نحن لا يوجد time in the course أو in this episode to go through all of the lessons that this contains. لكن إن شاء الله تعالى هذا فقط اشارع and indication of some of the benefits and the lessons as it relates to تربية from the story that is mentioned to us إن القرآن بالقمان أنه سن تسول الله عز جل may it be easy for me to mention أن الله عز جل is best والصلاة والسلام على نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين. السلام عليكم if you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com