 Happy Friday, Weirdos! Welcome to the Darren Marlar radio show, that's me, I'm Darren Marlar, got a big show planned for us and a weird show, as always. Coming up today, Hurricane Harley may have done more damage than we thought. There might be hundreds of alligators on the loose soon. I'll give you some details on that towards the end of the show today. Apparently even second-hand pot smoke can affect your thinking in today's brain on drugs. Women, they talk more than men, right? Wrong, I will explain. Coming up, where is the worst place to lock yourself out of your room? Well, how about at 30,000 feet? That story is coming up in the show as well. While some people have pet dogs that fetch their slippers for them, you can now have slippers that are made of actual dogs. Got some details on that too, if that doesn't already disgust you enough. Hey, are you too tired for class, tired too tired to get up each morning to go to school? Wouldn't it be great if you could just show up to school whenever you wanted? Well Norway is trying that, I'll tell you a little bit more about it coming up. And did you get married in Texas? If so, you may not actually be married anymore. That story I'll have for you coming up next. Hey, by the way, if you want a few more laughs after the show, you can check out my Daily Dose of Weird News, new episode every day on my website at DarrenOnTheAir.com. This is the Darren Marlar Radio Show, the radio program 95% of dentists listen to while they sharpen their drills. I could not believe this when I read it, but many Americans are more worried about their reputation than their conscience. That's according to a new study from Nashville-based LifeWay Research. They worry less about guilt and fear, and they worry more about shame. 38% of Americans say they avoid shame the most. Man, carry more about your reputation than your morals and conscience. These people should be ashamed of themselves. Hey, I'm Darren Marlar and coming up, if you're too tired to get up for class, if you go to school, it wouldn't be great if you could just show up to school whenever you want to. I'll give you some details on that because Norway is actually trying it. If you'd like to be a part of the show, you can drop me an email anytime via my website at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Okay, so, if you got married in Texas, listen up. You may not be married, that is. Not anymore. Barbara Ann Radnowski, a Houston lawyer, says that a 22-word clause in a 2005 Constitutional Amendment designed to ban gay marriages inadvertently endangered the legal status of all marriages in the state of Texas. The amendment, overwhelmingly ratified by Texas voters, declares that, quote, marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman, unquote. But it goes on to say, quote, this state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage, unquote. And therein lies the problem. Radnowski says that that phrase and the wording it effectively eliminates all marriage in Texas, including common law marriages. She calls it a massive mistake as she blames the then Attorney General Greg Abbott for allowing the language to become part of the Texas Constitution. She also says that another Constitutional Amendment might be necessary to reverse the problem. However, not everybody agrees. Kelly Shackleford, president of the Liberty Legal Institute in Plano, says it's a silly argument. Any lawsuit based on the wording of the section in question would have about one chance in a trillion of being successful. Still, though, if you were thinking about renewing your vows, now might be a good time to do it. Coming up, I've got a totally outrageous story where it appears that Taylor Swift has become a ticket scalper for her own concerts. Don't believe me? Well, keep listening. I'll have that story for you coming up here in just a bit. First though, it's today's question impossible. What is a misomaniac? Again, the question, what is a misomaniac? I'll have the answer for you later on in the show. Hey, if you'd like to get social with me, you can do that at Facebook, Twitter, Mines.com, LinkedIn, Instagram. I got links to all of them at DarrenOnTheAir.com. So you're too tired to get up for class, huh? Wouldn't it be great if you could go to school just whenever you felt like it? Just show up whenever you wanted to. Well, Norway, they're introducing late-opening schools for lazy pupils who want to sleep until the afternoon. The City Council of Oslo, Norway, they're offering students ages 16 to 18 late starts at certain schools. They'll start classes afternoon, and school officials think pupils will do better academically if they're not forced to work while still have to sleep in the morning. Okay, yeah, it might be good for the kids at the moment, but how is this preparing them for the real world? I mean, when is the last time anybody was employed by a company that said, Hey, don't worry if you can't make it in by 8am every morning. 1pm is fun, too. Well, that's not good on a resume! And now another useless fact. Doctors in Mongolia are baffled by a 19-year-old girl who has been eating mud every day for 12 years but is perfectly healthy. You know, if swallowing mud were bad for you, I would have been dead long ago from drinking the radio station's coffee. Welcome to the show, Weirdos! If you'd like to catch up with any part of the Darren Marlar radio show, you can do so at DarrenOnTheAir.com. While it appears Taylor Swift has become a ticket scalper of her own concerts. Taylor Swift and Ticketmaster claim that their new partnership is to help ensure tickets to Taylor Swift's upcoming tour go to her biggest fans, not the scalpers. That sounds like a great idea, until you find out how this works, which many people are calling immoral, illegal and a Ponzi scheme. This complicated process utilizes Ticketmaster's new Verified Fan Service, which asks fans to buy merchandise or promote Taylor Swift's music on social media to earn boosts to their place in line for tickets, all in the hopes that when tickets do finally go on sale, they have boosted themselves to the front of the line and are able to snag seats to the show. Of course, buying stuff gets you a lot more boosts than simply watching a Swift music video or posting about her online, but even that doesn't actually guarantee you will get a ticket once they go on sale. Not surprisingly, many people are calling this scheme a pay-to-play scheme, which sounds like a scam. Donovan Farley writes that Swift herself has actually become a scalper by charging extra to ensure a place in line for tickets, not the tickets themselves. Farley also notes that fans who pre-order Swift's new album, Reputation, for boosts and then want to actually get it on the day it's released have to pay an extra $48.03 shipping charge. A nonsensical move that seems aimed to appease UPS, one of Swift's many corporate partners. And then there's the fact that many fans are encouraged to buy multiple copies of her album Reputation just to get more boosts, which Farley calls an egregiously immoral move. On his left-sets letter, music analyst Bob Leftset, he calls the whole thing almost a Ponzi scheme, and Swift herself a greedy, hypocritical bully. You know, while some people have pet dogs that fetch their slippers for them, you can now have slippers that are actually made of dogs. That story is right around the corner. Hey, I'm Darren Marlar, welcome to the show, Weirdos. If you'd like to keep up with everything I do, you can sign up for my newsletter. It's the Marlar Sheet, and you can sign up for it free at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Let's check out the birthday wrap-up. Well, it's a short list today for the birthday wrap-up. It is September 1, 2017. From Felicity, the Underworld Movies, XXX State of the Union, Scott Speedman is 42. TV talker Dr. Phil is 65, and actress comedian from 9-5, the incredible shrinking woman, the West Wing, Lily Tomlin is 78. Blake Walsh. Well, he's not just Kevin's wife, Blake is also the woman who saved Kevin's life. I'll share their story coming up here in just a few minutes. I'm Darren Marlar, and Debra Serges-Getter, Serges-Getter, not Serkis, but Serges-Getter. We'll call her that. Debra Serges-Getter. I can't believe I keep coming up with these names that are impossible to pronounce. Anyway, Debra, we'll just say Debra. She has made some slippers woven out of dog hair. She spent a year collecting 8 bags of dog hair from her pooches Riley and Rio, her golden retrievers, after she found out a woman could spin that into yarn and then knit it into slippers. Rosemary Edmiston, she washed the dog's hair, then teased, carted and combed it before using her spinning wheel to turn it into yarn. They charge $50 for a pair of dog hair slippers. They're the only slippers that fetch themselves. Today's Question Impossible again, what is a miso-maniac? Well, a miso-maniac is somebody who hates everything, so my mother-in-law. Hello, I'm Marcia Spickman, president of Mothers Against Everything, a nationally organized coalition of mothers against everything, swimming within one hour after eating, staying up past 9 p.m. on school nights, leaving your clothes on the floor, eating with your elbows on the table, sitting too close to the TV, going out of the house without clean underwear. These are just a few of the problems facing all American mothers today. We need your help if we're going to beat these problems facing our children everywhere. Call or write today to find out how you too can be a mother against everything. Do it for the child who plays his Walkman too loud, or the child who leaves junk in his pants pockets before throwing them in the laundry. As a mother against everything, you can make a difference. Join now, before it's too late. Where do you think the worst place would be to lock yourself out of your room? Well, how about 30,000 feet in the air? That story is coming up momentarily. I'm Darren Marlar, if you like scary stories, you might want to check out my weekend show called Weird Darkness, and you can find it on my website at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, great story here for today's Soul Glow. Blake Walsh is not just Kevin's wife, Blake is also the woman who saved his life. Kevin and Blake, they first met at summer camp when they were 13 years old. Even when they were younger, Kevin says that he thought she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. Although they had been in contact over instant messaging and phone calls in the following years, they eventually lost touch. After all, Kevin lived in Indianapolis and Blake lived in Michigan. But then, one year after they stopped talking, divine intervention led Blake to call Kevin out of the blue when they were 17 years old. Well, due to a string of events, Kevin says he was seconds away from taking his own life when she called. He had already written out his suicide note and was about to do the deed when his phone vibrated in his pocket. It was Blake. And as they spoke, Kevin told her that he'd been planning on committing suicide. Well, shocked and mortified, Blake talked him down and made him promise that he would call her the next day, while the two became even closer friends until they fell in love and started dating. Here we are 10 years after that fateful phone call Kevin proposed to her. Actually, it's 12 years now since then. They've been married now for two years. Being his proposal, by the way, Kevin reportedly told Blake, I love you, also thanks for saving my life. There is an amazing video that goes along with this, and there's actually sort of a conflicting story between Blake and Kevin about that phone call that saved his life. They both have a slightly different version of that, and nobody really knows the truth. But well, you've heard now Kevin's story. You can hear Blake's version of the story in that video, which I have in my blog at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Darren is spelled D-A-R-R-E-N. DarrenOnTheAir.com. He is young and intelligent and highly trained. He is Eric Banfeld, shipwrecked on a long-forgotten colony world where brawn and brute strength are more valued than knowledge. Physically untrained and emotionally unprepared in the barest skills of survival, he seems compelled to spend a short and very unpleasant life as a half-naked savage worked like a beast of burden on a world so sunk into barbarism that its inhabitants have no concept of the wheel. It's either that or die. His only possible chance, his only hope of becoming one with the folk, is to become a singer or teller of true stories. In Eric Banfeld's case, he will be a singer of lies. Singer of Lies, a science-fantasy novel by Michael R. Collings. Hear a free sample on the audiobooks page at MarlarHouse.com. The Darren Marlar Radio Show Hey, weirdos, welcome to The Darren Marlar Radio Show. I'm Darren Marlar, and if you'd like to poke me, tweet me, like me, follow me, stalk me, you can find links to all of my social media at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Time for today's moment of duh, and the pilot of a Canadian airliner who went to the washroom during a flight while he found himself locked out of the cockpit, forcing the crew to remove the door from its hinges in order to let him back in. The airline says that with 30 minutes of the flight left to go, the pilot went to the washroom, leaving the first officer in charge, but when he tried to get back into the cockpit, the door would not open. For about 10 minutes, passengers saw the pilot bang on the door and communicating with the cockpit through an internal telephone. An airline spokesman said that at no time was the plane or passengers in danger. A recent report shows that a new billionaire is created in China every week. So both capitalism and communism create income inequality. What's your next play, Antifa? Women talk more than men, right? Well, wrong. I'll explain about that in a few minutes. Hey, if you'd like to get a few more laughs after the show, you can check out my daily dose of weird news. I have a new episode every weekday at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, a dry cleaner in Oregon has posted a sign that if you support President Trump, then they don't want you as a customer. That might have an effect if you're the only dry cleaner in the area. But you're not, buddy. So enjoy your lack of business for being so obtuse. You don't want to support somebody voted for Trump, and so you don't want their laundry to do that. What? Okay. Well, I didn't even vote for Trump, but I still would not do business with you just because you're being a jerk about this. In fact, if I were your competition, I would put up a sign immediately saying, who you voted for isn't any of our business, we just want to clean your clothes. Here comes the best part. The Darren Marlar Radio Show. A little bit more on the crazy side of the end of the world. Apparently, even second-hand pot smoke can affect your thinking. That's coming up in our brain-on-drug story today. If you'd like to be a part of the show, you can drop me an email anytime via my website at darronontheair.com. So women are chatterboxes, and men, we are stoically quiet, right? Well, wrong. This is a myth that women talk more than men, according to myths Abby Kaplan. She's a professor of linguistics at the University of Utah and also the author of the book Women Talk More Than Men and Other Myths About Language Explained. In fact, the opposite is actually true. When linguistics researchers have studied men and women in a variety of settings, the common finding is that men talk more than women. However, as with most things, it depends on the situation. How well the people know one another, the nature of the task, and the power structure of those involved, Kaplan says the best study on talkativeness involved 400 college students who were each given a recording device to wear for a few days. Everything that each student said was recorded. The researchers found that there was no difference between the average words per day for men and women. If you want to read a little bit more about this and grab that book that I just told you about, again, women talk more than men and other myths about language explained. I have a link to it. If you want to grab it, I have that in my blog at darronontheair.com. A recent study finds that bilinguals have faster brains. Ah, great. Now they've got two things to brag about constantly. Welcome to Canadian Language Tapes, Volume 1. When you hear this sound, please repeat what's been said. Starting now with the Canadian alphabet. Let's begin. A, A, B, A, C. Wait, why doesn't A come after C? No, A is first, A. A is first, and then C? No, then B, A. Well, where's C? After B, A. So, B is first. No, A is first, A. A, A. Then C. No, B, A. So, B is first. No, A is first, A. All right, look. Just say the first three letters of the Canadian alphabet. A, B, C, A. So, there is an A after C? No, it's D then, A. D, A, D. No, A is first, A. Okay, let's try a Canadian sentence. Okay, I come from B, C, A. Now translate that. Translate? You know, what does it mean in English? Oh, it means I come from British Columbia. Isn't there an A after the C? No, the A comes first, A. All right, fine. Forget it. Look, this has been Canadian Language Tapes, Volume 1. Don't bother looking for Volume 2. If you want to get social with me, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Mines.com, LinkedIn, Instagram. I got links to all of them at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, it's time for today's Brain On Drug Story, and what's about people doing dumb things while under the influence? But addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there is a toll-free number you can call. It's 1-800-438-0380. That's the addiction, hope, and helpline, 1-800-438-0380. And apparently, even second-hand pot smoke can affect your thinking. This is your Brain On Drugs. This has got to be embarrassing for the New York Police Department. For New York City police officers, they were called to an apartment house in the Bronx concerning a landlord-tenant dispute. However, they became distracted by a teenager in the hallway smoking a joint, so they started to chase him. And that's when a pit-full jumped out of nowhere and attacked the officers. That's when the gunfire broke out. Twenty-six bullets later, we have one dead dog, one bitten officer, and three other officers wounded from each other's gunshots. All because they were chasing the guy with a doobie. ***Hurricane Harvey may have done more damage than we thought. There might be hundreds of alligators on the loose. That story is coming up next. I'm Darren Marlar. If you've missed any part of the show, weirdos, well, you can catch up at Darren ontheair.com. Well, in Shanghai, after encountering a police checkpoint late, one drunk driver came up with a creative way of getting out of failing a breathalyzer test. Less than 100 meters away from the checkpoint, the man fled his black Mercedes and began stumbling up a roadside hill before slipping and tumbling back down. Well, it was there the police caught up with him. They then noticed that he reeked of alcohol, asked him to take a breathalyzer test, and despite the fact that he kept insisting, I wasn't drinking, I wasn't driving, he then suddenly started eating grass by the handful. Officers tried to get him to stop, but he just kept eating the grass. While the stunt did save him from taking a breathalyzer test, but it did not save him from being taken back to police headquarters, where a blood test found that his blood alcohol content was 0.156, far over the legal limit. Plus, he tested positive for grass. Hey, if you'd like to keep up with everything I do, you can sign up for my free newsletter. It's the Marlar Sheets, and you can sign up for it at Darrenontheair.com. I'm Darren Marlar. Thanks a lot for joining me today, weirdos. I appreciate it. I'm going to leave you today with this story from Hurricane Ravaged, Texas. A Texas alligator sanctuary, it is on alert right now as flood waters threaten to unleash hundreds of gators. Roughly 350 reptiles could potentially swim out of their enclosures if the water keeps rising, but the owner of a sanctuary says rumors that his gators have already escaped is not true. Gator country owner Gary Saurage, he spoke out saying in a Facebook video, they're there. I'm not going to tell you that we may not lose a few little gators like that. It's very possible, but I can tell you that we are almost through this thing and we're holding tight. Does this not sound like a sci-fi movie scenario like Sharknado, doesn't it? This summer, just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, flood Gator. This flood has bite. Good night, ladies. Good night, sir. Hit it, sweetheart. That's all, folks.