 I've had hundreds, if not two or three, requests to do an Iron Man vs Dark Knight trilogy. Well, Mom, your wish has been granted. Superhero films have become synonymous with big-name, high-caliber actors. These two franchises may have more than your typical Fast and Furious film. If you've seen this show before, you know I'm extremely sarcastic. You know what I would say. I don't think there's a person out here that doesn't agree that Robert Downey Jr. is the perfect Iron Man. Christian Bale, however, has to compete with the likes of Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney... the KKK, basically. Oh, Clooney starts with a C. I'm sorry. Does Christian Bale deliver on both Batman and Bruce Wayne? And if so, is that better than what Downey does with Iron Man and Tony Stark? Bastion, why don't you put something up right now of Iron Man doing his thing? You can certainly tell that the time Robert Downey Jr. spent on Ally McBeal has helped craft and perfect his acting abilities. Look at the raw emotion, the expression on Iron Man's face. You can see Downey really playing that part. Once again, I'm being sarcastic. I'm going to gloss over the leading ladies this time around because, honestly, if I have to talk about Maggie Gyllenhaal one more time, I'm going to choke myself out. I will, however, talk about some of the supporting characters. We got the Shield crew. We got Pepper Potts. We got the Terence Howard Don Sheetle dream team as War Machine. I have to say, if they make an Iron Man 4, I wouldn't mind trying my hand at old Iron Patriot. You can do blackface on me and whatnot. Oh good, we do have a photo of that. Thank you. The villains, however, that's a whole other story. A story that I think Dark Knight perfects. We have Tom Hardy playing the shit out of his character Bane. We have Heath Ledger giving the performance of a lifetime for multiple reasons. He's essentially the Kurt Cobain of actors now, which I think is fine. Don't think I forgot about the man in the Iron Mask. No, I'm not referring to the Leonardo DiCaprio, Jeremy Irons film of the same title. Sir Ben Kingsley, Mickey Rourke. I think the biggest question at the end of the day, though, is who rocks the Leather Harder? Anne Hath or Scar Joe? Hola. In either case, we both win. Let's move on to story. I'm not going to break down the individual plots of these movies. You guys know them. I'm going to just take this as a whole. Which film is more cohesive, tells a better trilogy. I think it's bar none of the Dark Knight series. Iron Man is just kind of all over the place. The first one starts out solid. The second one's a total throwaway. It's borderline rape, in my opinion. Third one brings it all back together. Dark Knight, however, starts out decent, gets amazing, and by the third film brings it all together. Now, I know there's people out there that think the Dark Knight rise has sucked. And to them, I say nothing. Because I don't associate myself with awful people. We got the Nolan practical effects debate versus over-the-top CGI. Personally, I think they both work well for the franchise as they're in. Iron Man 1 is a lot more subdued, more realistic, and by the third film, all bets are off, which I love. You got Pepper Potts running around in her skivvies, while Tony Stark's trying to save his mansion. Explosions everywhere, running all Olivia Wild. Play on words. And then you got Dark Knight. It's a dark, crisp, if you will. It's really drawn you in with the atmosphere. And the hater's gonna hate. They're gonna say there's too much of the Bat Plane or the Batwing or whatever the hell you call it in the third movie. Who cares? Now you're just nitpicking and being a dick. You're dick-picking. Coin that for me, Tamber. I want that on as mine. That's my thing now. Dark Knight. As you can see, I'm favoring Dark Knight, but the choice is really up to you. Who cares what I say? I'm just a figurehead, you know, spewing out facts and numbers. Put it in the comments below. And remember, this is more than just reviews. This is movie feuds. I think I would be a good Don Cheetle, Terence Howard.