 Just checked in to my new high-rise apartment today So I thought I'd do a video here. It's one of the nicer ones that I've seen in this location everything I need To relax and make some videos Got lots of good videos on the way. It's a shame Nala isn't here to enjoy this But I'm hoping she will be here soon and then she will be back on my live videos The start of the show Nala some incredible views here though You can see everything three balconies So you can see all the way around got this canal here It's really nice, but onto the topic of this video because this is Not so nice. I'm just gonna take off my Glasses so you can see my eyes Let's sit down and talk about this because it's something I Haven't really discussed in detail, but I think it's something that is Very important Because I know a lot of you notice it you notice that you're being treated very different to everyone else and This is something that all narcissists do and it's very strange It's very weird Because of course normally When you're in a relationship Or when you're romantically involved with someone That person is meant to treat you as being more important than anyone They meant to put you first You're supposed to be number one in their life You're meant to be the priority where they consider your needs and your feelings because They're meant to be committed to you They're meant to be in a relationship with you so you should feel close and able to express yourself emotionally and They should be able to receive that because They feel love for you and They're attracted to you as They should be if they are committed if they are in a relationship with you that's Normally how it works from my experience Because of course I haven't just been involved with Narcissists I have had normal Relationships with normal people as well so I Know how it goes down. I Know what we should expect. I know how it's supposed to be Because of course I have experienced love and romance Myself So I do understand the difference And I know that this does not happen with narcissists Because if you are the closest person to them they will treat you the worst and You're gonna feel like You're doing something wrong by loving them a Stranger that sounds It's as though you loving them is the problem and They are punishing you for doing that Like you're doing something wrong, but I'm gonna say now it's not you There is nothing wrong with loving someone That is a good thing That's what you should be doing. The problem is their disorder their personality it's very different to ours and The reason why To keep it simple enough The reason why you get treated the worst And you look around and it's like they treat everyone better than you the reason for that it's because You're seeing the real version of them You're seeing who they really are And everyone else is Getting the fake version and I know it hurts you. I know it frustrates you. I Know that I do Because You're so confused. You don't know What you've done wrong and yet this person That you love and want to be with They're treating you like You're completely worthless Like you're worth less than everyone else and you have to look around at how they treat other people And just seeing them treat other people better than you and you want to have that same treatment The same treatment that you're giving to them because then it's fair. There's an equal exchange But know what they do is They broadcast it They put on a show Because they want to show you that They can treat other people right and well if they want to They're just not gonna do that with you But what's actually happening is when they're involved with other people They're wearing a mask They're acting Normally The key word is acting Because they are excellent actors and That is what confuses you It makes you wonder Why Can't they treat you like that? Because when they're around you They'll pull that mask right off and act a fool with you and just scratching your head thinking But you can act fine with them. Why can't you do that with me? because they will take things out on you and Just leaves you confused and you're wondering why but that's That is just how it is When you're dealing with a narcissist That's what you should expect You shouldn't expect any more than that you will get punished for loving them and why Because they feel Most comfortable around you You accept them you accept everything they're doing so you get the real version of them You get treated the worst And not only that but they have to keep you under control So they can't let you see too much Because if they do then That puts them at risk Because You know the real them so you have the ability to expose them You could go and show everyone what they're really like and One of their greatest fears along with rejection and abandonment is Being exposed so they can't let you see too much They've got to keep things hidden from you. They've got to keep you at a distance keep you our arms length because They're very paranoid and have a vigilant they're very distrustful They're afraid that you might expose them for who they really are when you are Involved with a narcissist and It's an intimate Relationship Yes, you will get treated the worst and it will irritate you It will Frustrate you because you know You've seen them with other people You've seen that they have the potential To treat people goods And not only that but you look back and you remember it in the beginning when you first met them They treated you well then and in fact they treated you better than anyone When they first met you They put you first you were their priority They went all out for you They did everything they could to make you happy But that's only because they were love bombing you they were idealizing you In that moment you were perfect you were everything they had been waiting for so you were the center of their world And that's why they wanted to be there for you then but of course it's short lived It only lasts for a short period of time Because then they think I've got you trapped I've got you under my spell. You're not going anywhere So then you lose value in their eyes You're not valuable anymore Because they're looking at it like if you're so great If you're so special Then what are you doing with me? because They don't think like us like I would think if someone is with me Then that means they must be pretty great because I know The work that I've put in over the years to become the man that I am today So that's how I think With narcissists they look at it like if you're so great then what are you doing with me? Because they know that They're fake They know that they're full of shit They know that they're not about anything for real So they're looking at it like if you're so valuable and special What are you doing with them? That's how they look at it So the more time you spend with them the more value you lose in their eyes Because they think if you're so valuable then you wouldn't want to spend any time with them anyway That's how they look at it Especially if you've got children together With you've made some kind of plan in the future and they know you're not going anywhere Then they're really going to start to feel comfortable around you and You'll start to notice they don't make an effort anymore maybe But the guys They won't spend as much time with you. They won't go to the gym They don't care too much about taking care of themselves and With the women She might stop doing her hair around you she might stop wearing makeup Because they become comfortable they don't feel any need to make an effort because They just don't value you anymore because you're always there And they look at it like if you're so valuable and special Then why are you spending so much time around me? That's how they think Because they don't value themselves If they did then they wouldn't think like that. They would think the opposite so now They think they can treat you however they want Because in their minds they've got power over you You're under their control So they think they don't have to do anything to keep you around while with everyone else They put everyone else on this pedestal everyone else is so special They respect and admire all these other people Especially people who aren't a part of their lives They will treat those people as though they're more important than you Even though you're the one who's always there for them because they've already got you You're not going anywhere So there's no incentive for them to treat you any better And that is what frustrates you Because you've seen how they treat other people so you know, you know, they have the potential to treat you good But you just got to accept that this is how they operate. This is the disorder and They will abuse you Of course in private because then they still have their false image They've still got this Outward appearance that they show to everyone else Because when they're around other people, they're so kind and polite And then it makes it look like something is wrong with you as Though you must be the problem Because you're going and you're complaining about them But no one else can see what they're doing wrong And that makes it very easy for them to Get attention and admiration from other people which means that They don't need to be involved to do as much I mean, why would they When you're the one who knows what they really like So that's not much fuel for them. They don't feel so special around you because you know, it's all fake But other people don't know that they buy into the false image So what other people admire them and give them compliments it means so much more It doesn't mean much when you compliment them because they know that you know what they're really about They know you're not under their spell Because you've seen who they really are underneath the mask and you know, they're going around there They're talking behind your back You may not even know about it, but they've lined up all their flying monkeys. They're smearing your name Because they want to make you look crazy if you try to tell anyone about what is going on Because everyone else they see this false image that they're portraying to the world they see this good side of them, but it's fake and Yeah, they're really pulling the strings. They're controlling everyone They're controlling everyone's perception of them, but the question is Why Why do they want to do this to you? Why do they have to treat you so bad? Why can't they just give you the good side of them? Even though it may be fake Well, the reason why is They actually enjoy Treating you like garbage It's all their ego. It makes them feel like they're better than you It makes them feel important It makes them feel better about themselves That's why when you are dealing with a narcissist You will go from gold to garbage overnight And the only reason why is because you're human Because you question things Because you realize that something is not right and One person could never make them happy. They're adrenaline junkies They need constant amusement and entertainment Because they get bored very easily So it isn't long until they're looking for the next shiny new toy Because they always think that the grass is greener on the other side. They think Yeah, I may have found you and You may be pretty good You may be there for me when I need you You may be kind helpful, but that means there could be someone better than you out there So what do they do? They put you on the shelf They forget about you and then they want to go and play with their new toys That is why you will find that the more that time goes by you just argue more and more and They're actually looking for excuses to take a break to leave you or To go silent They're looking for excuses for them to do that and the reason why is because Most likely they're already involved with someone else they're already working on their new target And you'll know when that is happening because they're so hot and cold It's like they love you one minute and then they hate you the next Sometimes they want to talk to you and sometimes they don't And you know that when they don't want to talk to you it's because they're talking to someone else and you may not even suspect it You may think No, not my narcissist mine Does a lot of things that narcissists do But that's the one thing they won't do they They wouldn't cheat on me They wouldn't go and talk to other people and that's why you don't even suspect it Because most often that's exactly what they're doing They are talking to someone else And that's why they're not giving you as much attention as they were before They have to be doing something with their time and if they're not giving their time to you They're giving their time to someone else and that's why it gets to a point Where the communication just gets less and less Than ever before and even when you are talking to them You're just fighting because they're already Planning to move on with someone new and this person is about to take your place But don't worry too much about that Because it's not like they're gonna ride off into the sunset And it's gonna be this big fairy tale and they have this happy ending Never works out like that Because they will get bored of them just like they got bored of you and then they're gonna be looking for someone else and They may even try to come back to you, but you got to look at it like Do you really want to accept them back? You don't know where they've been Even if they were just gone for a few days, you don't know where they were They could have been with anyone. Are you really willing to accept that? They've been given their time their attention Their emotions to someone else and now they want to come back to you and even if they do come back And you accept them Nothing's gonna change. You're gonna get the same treatment again Because there's no incentive For them to act right Why would they need to do that? They can treat you like garbage Because they're still gonna get positive attention from other people So they don't even need you because They're only showing that real side of themselves to you No one else has seen that and that's how it's so easy for them to cut you off That's how it's so easy for them to go silent with you because the entire time they've just been showing you who they really are And of course, you're not gonna respond well to that so they already know They're not gonna get a good response from you But they can take that false character and Show it to other people and get a positive response So it makes more sense for them to do that But anyone who gets too close to them eventually they're gonna see that real side of them They're gonna see what they really like Just as you did So this is that this is why They treat the person closest to them the worst Now what do you do about it? Maybe you don't want to be treated like garbage every day Maybe you recognize that you deserve better treatment because of everything that you put out for them you treat your damn well and Of course, I'm a believer in that if you Respect other people You deserve respect back in return if you give love you should receive love Sounds fair to me So what do you do when you're giving them your love and respect but you're not getting it back in return What do you do about it? This is what you do And this is really the only thing that you can do The only thing that you can do is go no contact Stop talking to them Because I can promise you the more you talk to them the more that You involve them in your life. It's only gonna get worse And if you want proof of that just look back at how things have been You've been talking to them. You've been spending all of this time with them Have things got better or worse You should notice a pattern the more of your time that you give to them The worst they treat you so you need to distance yourself you need to cut them off and Focus your time and attention on yourself On your own life on becoming the best version of yourself and Yeah, you really just need to go no contact If you want to get that good version of them again You have to be distant for a certain amount of time. I would advise At least two to three months No contact for at least two to three months and then They can come back and then there's a good chance that you will Get that more positive side of them, but it's like the matrix because you know, it's fake You know, it isn't real So once you have the awareness of that can you really enjoy it You have to lie to yourself. You have to live in this shared fantasy Because you know they're not really about that, you know, they don't really have those emotions and feelings. It's not a real connection It's not what you're really craving what you really want and Yeah, you you deserve better you shouldn't have to settle for that you should wait for the real thing But if that's what you're gonna do If you really really want to get them back you want that positive side of them even though it's fake Just go no contact for two to three months. You will get that back. But even then It's not gonna last for long. You might get it back for a Few days, maybe one week and then you're gonna see that real side of them again They're gonna treat you like dirt. So it's not really worth it. I mean, what is the point? Go in no contact, but at the same time you're holding on Just Waiting for them to come back. I mean if you're gonna do that you should be seeing someone else during that time Instead of just waiting for them and when you do that you start you focus on your healing you date other people You might just find out that you never needed them anyway Because you might find someone who can give you that for real someone who can give you that connection Someone who makes you feel loved someone who makes you feel special because that's really what you want. I Mean, that's what anyone wants When they're in a relationship, you don't want to feel like you're unimportant. I mean if that's how you feel when you're with someone Then you probably shouldn't be with them and they should probably be alone I mean that would be great if we could just Put all of these types of people on Some planet on their own somewhere And they can go and play all of these games with each other And then ask real people we can develop Real connections real intimacy. I think that would be a lot better Unfortunately, I don't think that's possible So we do need to maneuver our way around these Narcissists but yeah, you know, that's why they treat the person closest to them the worst and if you do want better treatment Like they give to everyone else. There's really only one way and that is to cut them off There's no other possible way to get that You have to go no contact for at least two to three months and in that time Yeah, you may want to date other people but I would advise Focusing your attention on becoming the best version of yourself you should be focusing on healing from what what you went through and Going to the gym exercise Make sure you're getting plenty of sleep talk to a therapist or book a session with me and Focus on things that you're passionate about not just Your work or maybe you have a business But what is it that drives you? What is it that you really care about in life and go and focus on that? Because when you do that you will forget all about them They won't be on your mind anymore and yeah, that's what you really need to do because I know a lot of you you are constantly looking at your phone waiting for a response waiting for a phone call and You know what? Well, you're doing that while you're sitting at home late at night Staring at your phone waiting for that text waiting for that call You know what they're doing? They're out somewhere Maybe walking on a beach Having a nice meal at a restaurant With someone else and you don't even know it and yet. What are you doing? You're just sitting at home waiting for them to respond That's why You need to take this attention that you're giving to them and put it on yourself and your own life Because that's the only way that things will get better As I've said before you need to invest in yourself. It's like the stock market What are you investing in? Because if you're investing in a bad investment You're not going to get a good return If you're investing your money in something that has no value You're just gonna lose it all but you do have value That's why you need to invest in yourself because then you will get a good return and then eventually maybe you'll meet someone Who Is more like-minded they're more on the same page as you a high-value person and of course When you invest your time and attention into a high-value person You will get a return It will Benefit you in the long run, but it's not going to do that with a narcissist You can invest as much of your time and attention as you want It's not gonna make a difference. You're not gonna get anything back. You're gonna lose it all Because they are low-value people You've got to understand there are different classes of people in this world And many of you who are watching this the reason why you've gotten involved with a narcissist It's because you are a high-value person and you need to recognize it They don't want to be around just anyone. They target the best of the best And you're given all this all of this value To someone who is not of the same class Someone who is low-value And let me tell you someone of low value cannot recognize Something valuable and important They can't recognize that you got to think what you think would happen if I gave my $4,000 Alienware laptop to a two-year-old child a toddler What do you think would happen if I left that in the room for a few minutes and Then I came back. Do you think it's still being one piece? Or would they rip it apart? It's the same thing with these narcissists If you put something valuable in their hands, they will destroy it Because they don't recognize its value Because they don't have anything of value. So they don't know how to treat it They don't understand that it requires proper care and attention It's just like if you have a nice car if you have a Bentley or Rolls-Royce You're not going to take that car to just any car wash if you really Worked hard for it bought it with your earnings and you recognize its value You're not just going to take it to any car wash because you understand That it needs the proper maintenance The proper care, but these narcissists do not understand that they can't even recognize Your value they can't even see it a lot of the time They may see it in the beginning As I said before once you're around them They're thinking if you're so great, then when why are you around me? If you're so special that's how they think the longer you spend with them The more that it becomes normal to them and that's the same thing with anything when it comes to narcissists They can't find consistent happiness in anything They might buy a new car or a new house But after a week they get bored of it. They stop taking care of it And it's the same thing with people because they see us as objects They don't know how to take care of anything So what makes you think they're gonna know how to take care of you? They're just gonna ruin you destroy you They're gonna break you down. You're gonna lose your mind They'll drive you insane So stop wasting your time Invest that time into yourself Because you are the one with a value. Yes, they try to trick you into thinking That They were the same but they are not it's just an illusion and that is why Most of the experiences you have with them are not anything positive Not anything uplifting So yeah, just invest that time into yourself Then you will get a return Don't expect someone who Can't even understand your value. Don't expect them to treat you right They need to be able to recognize The value that you provide They need to be on the same page. Otherwise It's not going to go anywhere good. It's like if you've got a rowing boat And you've got two people on the boat they're rowing in opposite directions. It's not gonna go anywhere. There's got to be some Understanding and cooperation. You've got to be going in the same direction If you go in in opposite directions, it's not gonna work. There's something to keep in mind Let's see what we got here in the live chat. I have been reading some of these comments, but Let's reach on them out Irani says Narcissists don't cherish anything. They destroy and press L-class says Ex-narcissist deliberately damaged my brand new truck three times because he was raging Spoiled adults out of control so that's it, you know, that's why they treat the closest person to them the worst because Over time you lose value the more time that you spend with them You lose value in their eyes. Anyway, you don't actually lose any value unless They've broken you down then you do but other than that. It's just because they get bored very easily they need constant entertainment and You know these types of people they're always on Facebook Twitter TikTok Instagram They're always scrolling through their feed looking at what everyone else has got what everyone else is doing They're so distracted. They always feel like they're missing out on something They always feel like there's something better than you because they're always looking for the bigger better deal the next shiny new toy and You know, you just You can't compete with someone who has a mindset like that Someone who's always looking for something greater something more Most often when they go and find that It doesn't turn out to be anything like they thought it would be anyway Because a lot of times it's all in their heads. It's just this fantasy that they're trying to bring into reality But it never works out like that What they should be looking for is something real But then what would be the point in that because they're not real, but that's what they do They're always Looking for the next shiny new toy because they get bored very easily So they can't sustain anything But yeah, you just need to take that time that you're waiting on them and just put it back on yourself Become the best version of yourself Just like me. I'm traveling every day Putting out these videos helping millions of people around the world That's what it's all about providing value to people and You all provide value to me too Every day I read your comments That I really appreciate the support Couldn't have made it this far without you. We really have an amazing community and I Am so thankful for all of you. I see how many we got in here 84 live viewers, we've only got 39 thumbs ups Please hit that thumbs up button down below If you found this video helpful I do appreciate your support and share your com your thoughts down in the comments As I said, I read your comments every day Let's just Take one more look at this view. It is raining It's a pretty awesome view out here. I'm sure it'll be even better later if the Sun comes out Got the canal going all the way down there You can see everything. I only wish that Nala was here to enjoy it I know she'd be sitting out here in the balcony Well, if it wasn't raining anyway, okay, I'm gonna head out now Thank you all for watching And as always, I will talk to you in another one very soon