 THE GREAT PLEG by A-L-O-E This is a LibberVox recording. All LibberVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibberVox.org. Recording by Chad Horner from Balli Clare in County Antrim, Northern Ireland. Situated in the northeast of the Ireland of Ireland. THE GREAT PLEG THOLES MAKE AMOK AT SIN. PROVERBS CHAPTER XIV. VIX. WHAT A VIOLENT STORM IS RAGING. SAID THORN, THE TEACHER TO HIS SCHOLARS, AS, AFTER HAVING DISMISSED THEM AT THE CLOSE OF THE SCHOLARS, HE FOUND THEM CLUSTERING TOGETHER IN THE PORCH, AFRAID OF VENTURING FORTH INTO THE PELTING RAIN, POURING DOWN IN LARGE, HEAVY DROPS, MANGLED WITH HAIL, WHICH DANCED ON THE WET, BRYNE PAVENT. COME BACK INTO THE ROOM, MY CHILDREN, IT IS BETTER THAN STANDING THERE IN THE COLD. AMUSE YOURSELVES AS YOU LIKE UNTIL THE WEATHER CLEARS UP. WHILE I OCCUPY MYSELF WITH READING, THE BOYS GLADLY AVEALED THEMSELVES OF THE PERMISSION, AND BEGAN TO PLAY TOGETHER IN ONE PART OF THE ROOM. WHILE THE WEARY TEACHER SAT DOWN IN ANOTHER, REST AT HIS PAIL BROW, ON HIS HAND, AND TRIED AS FAR AS THE NOISE AND TALKING WOULD LET HIM, TO FORGET HIS FATIGUE IN A BOOK. HE SOON HOWEVER FIND IT IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO HEAR WHAT WAS PASSING. HIS EYE RESTED INDEED ON THE PAGE, BUT HIS MIND COULD NOT TAKE IN THE SENSE OF IT. HE LOVED HIS PUBLES TOO WELL TO THINK THAT HIS CARE OF THEM SHOULD END WITH THE OARS OF STUDY. HE LOOKED ON THE IMMORTAL BEINGS COMMITTED TO HIS CHARGE, AS THOSE FOR HIM HE MUST ONE DAY RENDER AN ACCOUNT TO HIS GOD AND THEIRS. No, we're all tired of that, cried the voice of Bat Nailand. As some well-known game was proposed, I know something that will give us a deal more fun. Let's play The Highwayman and The Judge. What's that? What's that? Cried a dozen young voices. Oh, it's what I saw at the Penny Theatre. About a clever thief robbing a judge. Only think robbing a judge. The last words were repeated around the room in various tones of amusement and surprise. Oh, you shall know all about it, but first we must arrange the parts. You pat shall be the thief, and I will be the judge. No, you shall be the judge and I the thief. He interrupted by a burst of laughter. Be quiet, will you? Who will be the policeman? I, I, cried several of the children, eager to join in the proposed play. Now, Sam, you shall be the fat landlady. There was another roar of merriment louder than before, for you must know that the thief is to get drunk. That's how he is to be taken by the policeman, and he staggers here and there, but began to imitate the unsteady movements of an intoxicated man, amid the renewed mirth of the children, and when they see him he calls out a great oath. You shall hear it, all, just as I heard it. I hope not, said Thorn, very quietly, raising his eyes from his book. The boys were quiet in a moment. They had almost forgotten the presence of their teacher. Why, sir, do you think that there is any harm? Said Bat, nailing. It does not make us thieves to have a little fun about them. It lessens your horror for their crime. And remember the words in the Bible. Fools make a mock at sin. Can you imagine any true child of God laughing at theft, drunkenness and swearing? There was profound silence in the room. This is one cause, I believe, why penny-theaters are one of the most fruitful sources of vice and ruin to those who attend them. Wickedness instead of appearing hitful, as it does in God's word, is made amusing and even sometimes attractive. And those who willingly placed themselves in the way of being corrupted by such sites only mock the Holy One, when they pray, lead us not into temptation. But, continued the teacher in a more cheerful tone, if I have stopped your amusement in one way, it is but fair that I should continue to it in another. I hear the rain still pattering without. What would you say to my telling you a story? A story? A story? Repeated the scholars, forming in a little circle around their teacher. For where are the children to be found upon earth, on whom that word does not act, like a spell? As now, long, long ago, commenced Thorn nearly two hundred years since the fearful plague raged in London. Nothing which we have witnessed in these happier days can give an idea of the horrors of that time. It is said that nearly seventy thousand people perished of this awful malady. Some authors seized him. The swelling under their arms, the pain in their throat, the black spots, which were signs of the plague. His very servants fled from him in terror. And unless someone was found to help the sufferer from love even stronger than fear of death, he was left to perish alone. For the plague was fearfully infectious. When a door was marked with a cross, the sign that the fearful scourge had entered the house, it was shunned by all but the driver of the dead cart. That gloomy conveyance which moved slowly through the silent streets to carry away the bodies of those who had sunk beneath the terrible disease. Was London ever in such a horrible state? cried the bat, nailing, it must have been a thousand times worse than the cholera. What I have told you about it I believe to be strictly true. I leave you all, however, to judge whether what I am about to relate can be so. In a small house, at the time when the plague was raging, dwelt a widow with five young children. She loved them with the fondest, truest love. They were all that were left her in the world. From the first appearance of the plague in London, her heart had been full of painful anxiety, far less from herself than for them. Determined to take every human precaution to guard her little ones from danger, she forbade them to quit the house, which she only left herself in order to procure food holding a hankerchief steeped in vinegar before her face, as far as possible to keep out infection. Her anxiety became yet more distressing when she saw one morning on the door of the very opposite house the fatal sign marked, and below it chocked the heart touching words Lord have mercy upon us. That day the mother was compelled to go out for bread. She left her home with a very heavy heart, first looking earnestly upon all and each of her children to see if they yet appeared healthy and well, repeating her command that none should stir out inwardly breathing a prayer that the Almighty would preserve them during her absence. As she returned with hurried steps towards her home, shuddering at the recollection of the sights of horror which she had seen in the course of her walk, with terror she observed her eldest son playing upon the very threshold of the infected house, and trying to imitate with a piece of chalk the dreadful signs upon the door, the little idiot. He must have been without his senses. What did the poor mother do? Were the exclamations which spursed from thorns listeners, she could not speak in the transport of her anger and grief. She seized him by the arm and dragged him into her own house, with feelings which only a mother can understand. She found her four other children assembled in her little parlor, amusing themselves by playing at catching the plague. Oh no, no, required the children at once. You told us that we should judge whether the story were true, and we are sure that this cannot be true. And why now, inquired the teacher, because answered bad, replying for the rest. The plague was too horrible a thing to make a joke of, just at a time when their mother was so anxious, when thousands were suffering so much around them. No, no, that would have been too bad. They could never have made game of the plague. And yet, what were my pupils doing ten minutes ago, but making game of a far worse disease than the plague, the fatal disease of sin? Its spots are blacker, the pain it gives more terrible. Often has it caused the death of the body, and except were repented of and forsaken the death, the endless death of the soul. Oh my children, it may be your lot, as it was that mother's, to be obliged to go out and meet the danger. For the Almighty may have seen good to place you in situations of great temptation, but if so, take every means of guarding your own hearts by faith, by watchfulness and prayer. But oh, never willfully, throw yourselves into temptation. Do not play upon the threshold of the infected house. Do not trifle with the danger, which it is possible to avoid. And when inclined to think lightly or speak lightly of that which brought ruin and death into the world, remember that fools make a mock at sin, but that to free us from its terrible disease and the fatal consequences which it brings cost the eternal son of the most high tears, blood, and even life itself. Fools make a mock at sin, but oh, God's wiser children do not so. They know too well the strife with sin how hard the battle is to win. They laugh not at the wind within, for they at strangers know. Oh, guide thy mirth by wisdom's rules, for sorrow ends the laugh of fools. Fools make a mock at sin, but oh, lost, guilty spirits do not so. They know too well the price it cost. They know through it that heaven was lost. No drowning semen, tempest tossed, jests, as he sinks below. Oh, guide thy mirth by wisdom's rules, for sorrow ends the laugh of fools. Fools make a mock at sin, but those holy angels do not so. For they upon the cross have gazed the cross which sin or sin had raised, and viewed all wondering and amazed a saviour's life-blood-flow. Then write these words, thy heart within, fools, and fools only mock at sin. End of THE GREAT PLAKE by A. L. O. A. Dunsonay. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Read by Dale Grothman. THE HORDE OF GIBLINS From THE BOOK OF WONDER by Lord Dunsonay. The Giblins eat, as is well known, nothing less good than man. Their evil tower is joined by the Magneta to the lands we know by a bridge. Their horde is beyond reason. Averus has no use for it. They have a separate cellar for emeralds and a separate cellar for sapphires. They have filled a hole with gold and dig it up when they need it. And the only use that is known for their ridiculous wealth is to attract to their larder a continual supply of food. In times of famine they have even been known to scatter rubies abroad. A little trail of them to some city of man. And sure enough, their larders would soon be full again. Their tower stands on the other side of the river known to Homer, Ho-Rus Okianio, as he called it, which surrounds the world. And where the river is narrow by the gibilans' gluttonous sires for they like to see burglars rowing easily to their steps. Some nourishment that common soil has not, the huge trees drained there with their colossal roots from both banks of the river. There the gibilans lived and discreditively fed. Aldrich, knight of the order of the city and the assault, hereditary guardian of the king's peace of mind. A man not unremembered among makers of myth pondered so long upon the gibilans' horde that by now he deemed it his. Alas, that I should say of so perilous a venture undertaken at dead of night by a valorous man that its motive was sheer avarice. Yet upon avarice only the gibilans relied to keep their larders full and once in every hundred years sent spies into the cities of men to see how avarice did and always the spies returned again to the tower saying that all was well. It may be thought that as the years went on and men came to fearful ends on that tower's wall fewer and fewer would come to the gibilans' table that the gibilans found otherwise. Not in all the folly and frivolity of his youth did Aldrich come to the tower but he studied carefully for several years the manner in which burglars met their doom when they went in search of the treasure that he considered his. In each case they had entered by the door. He consulted those who gave advice on this quest. He noted every detail and paid their fees and determined to do nothing that they advised for what were their clients now no more than examples of the savory art and mere half-forgotten memories of a meal and many, perhaps, no longer even that. These were the requisites for the quest that these men used to advise a horse, a boat, and in arms. Some say, blow the horn at the tower door. Others say, do not touch it. Aldrich thus decided he would take no horse down to the river's edge. He would not row along it in a boat and he would go alone and by way of the forest impassable. How pass, you say, the impassable? This was his plan. Who, if the peasants' prayers are heeded, deserve to die. Not alone because of the number of maidens he cruelly slew, but because he was bad for the crops. He ravaged the very land and was the bane of the dukedom. Now Aldrich was determined to go up against him. So he took horse and spear and pricked until he met the dragon, and the dragon came out against him, breathing bitter smoke. And to him Aldrich shouted, Hath foul dragon ever slain true knight? And well the dragon knew that this had never been, and he hung his head and was silent, for he was glutted with blood. Then, said the knight, if thou wouldest ever taste maidens' blood again, thou shalt be my trusty steed, and if not, by this spear there shall befall thee all that the troupadors tell of the dooms of thy breed. And the dragon did not open his ravining mouth, nor rush upon the knight, breathing out fire, for well he knew the fate of those that did these things, but he consented to the terms imposed, and swore to the knight to become his trusty steed. It was on a saddle upon the dragon's back that Aldrich held above the impassable forest, even above the tops of those measureless trees, children of wonder. But first he pondered that subtle plan of his which was more profound than merely to avoid all that had been done before. And he commanded a blacksmith, and the blacksmith made him a peck-axe. Now there was great rejoicing at the rumor of Aldrich's quest, for all folk knew that he was a man, and they deemed he would succeed and enrich the world, and they rubbed their hands in the cities at the thought of largesse, and there was joy among all men in Aldrich's country, except per chance among the lenders of money who feared they would soon be paid. And there was rejoicing also because men hoped that when the gableons were robbed of their horde they would and break the golden chains that bound them to the world and drift back, they and their tower, to the moon from which they had come, and to which they rightly belonged. There was little love for the gableons, though all men envied their horde. So they all cheered that day when he mounted his dragon, as though he was already a conqueror, and what pleased them more than that they hoped he would do to the world was that he scattered gold as he rode away. For he would not need it, he said, if he found the gableons' horde, and he would not need it more if he smoked on the gableons' table. When they heard that he had rejected the advice of those who gave it, some said that the night was mad, and others said he was greater than those who gave the advice, but none appreciated the worth of his plan. He reasoned thus. For a centuries men had been well advised and had gone by the cleverest way, while the gableons came to expect them to come by boat and to look for them at the door whenever their larder was empty, even as a man looking for a snipe in the marsh. But how, said Aldrich, if a snipe should sit on the top of a tree, and would men find him there? Assuredly never. So Aldrich decided to swim the river and not go by the door, but to pick his way into the tower through the stone. Moreover it was in his mind to work below the level of the ocean, the river, as Homer knew, that girdles the world, so that as soon as he made a hole in the wall the water should pour in, confounding the gableons, and flooding the cellars, rumored to be twenty feet in depth. And therein he would dive for emeralds as a diver dives for pearls. And on the day that I tell of he galloped away from his home, scattering largesse of gold, as I have said, and passed through many kingdoms, the dragons snapping at maidens as he went, but being unable to eat them because of the bit in his mouth, and earned no gentler reward than the spur thrust where he was softest. And so they came to the swarred arboreal precipice of the unpassable forest. The dragon rose at it with a rattle of wings. Many a farmer near the edge of the world saw him up there where yet the twilight lingered, a faint black wavering line, and mistaking him for a row of geese going inland from the ocean, went into their houses cheerily rubbing their hands and saying that winter was coming and that we should soon have snow. Soon even there the twilight faded away, and when they descended at the edge of the world it was night and the moon was shining. Ocean, the ancient river, narrow and shallow there, flowed by and made no murmur, whether the gibilans banqueted or whether they watched by the door they also made no murmur. And Aldrich dismounted and took his armor off, and saying one prayer to his lady, swam with his pickaxe. He did not part from his sword for fear that he meet with a gibilan. Landed on the other side he began to work at once and all went well for him. Nothing put out its head from any window, and all were lighted so that nothing within could see him in the dark. The blows of his pickaxe were dulled by the deep walls. All night he worked. No sound came to molest him. And at the dawn the last rock swerved and tumbled inward and the river poured in after it. Then Aldrich took a stone and went to the bottom step and hurled the stone at the door. He heard the echoes roll through the tower. And then he ran back and dived through the hole in the wall. He was in the emerald cellar. There was no light in the lofty vault above him, but diving through twenty feet of water he felt the floor all rough with emeralds and open coffers full of them. By a faint ray of the moon he saw that the water was green with them and easily filling a satchel he rose again to the surface and there were the Gebelins waist deep in the water with torches in their hands. And without saying a word or even smiling they neatly hanged him on the outer wall. And the tale is one of those that does not have a happy ending. The End of the Horde of the Gebelins by Lord Dunsonay This recording is in the public domain. Jacob Jones or the man who couldn't get along in the world by T. S. Arthur This is a LibriVox recording where LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Jacob Jones or the man who couldn't get along in the world. Jacob Jones was clerk in a commission store at a salary of $500 a year. He was just 22 and had been receiving this salary for two years. Jacob had no one to care for but himself but somehow or other it happened that he did not lay up any money but instead usually had from 50 to 100 dollars standing against him on the books of his tailors. How much money do you have laid by Jacob? said one day the merchant to employ him. This question came upon Jacob rather suddenly and coming from the source that it did was not an agreeable one for the merchant was a very careful and economical man. I haven't laid by anything yet replied Jacob with a slight air of embarrassment you haven't said the merchant in surprise why what have you done with your money? I've spent it somehow or other it must have been somehow or other I should think or somehow else returned the employer half seriously and half playfully but really Jacob you are a very thoughtless young man to waste your money I don't think I waste my money said Jacob what then have you done with it? asked the merchant it cost me the whole amount of my salary to live the merchant shook his head then you live extravagantly for a young man of your age and condition how much do you pay for boarding? four dollars a week too much buy from fifty cents to a dollar but even paying that sum four more dollars per week ought to meet fully all your other expenses and leave you what would amount to nearly one hundred dollars per annum to lay by I saved nearly two hundred dollars a year on a salary no larger than you receive I should like very much to know how you did it I can't save a cent in fact I hardly ever have ten dollars in my pocket where does your money go Jacob in what way do you spend a hundred dollars a year more than is necessary they are spent I know and that is pretty much all I can tell about it replied Jacob you can certainly tell by your private account book I don't keep any private account sir you don't in surprise no sir what's the use my salary is five hundred dollars a year and wouldn't be any more nor less if I kept an account of every half cent of it the merchant said no more his mind was made up about his clerk the fact that he spent five hundred dollars a year and kept no private account was enough for him you'll never be any good to himself nor anybody else spent his whole salary keep no private account this was the opinion held of Jacob Jones by his employer from that day the reason why he had inquired as to how much money he had saved was this he had a nephew a poor young man who like Jacob was a clerk and showed a good deal of ability for business his salary was rather more than what Jacob received and like Jacob he spent it all by himself he supported mainly his mother and a younger brother and sister a good chance for a small but safe beginning was seen by the uncle which would require only about a thousand dollars as an investment in his opinion it would be just the thing for Jacob and the nephew supposing that Jacob had four or five hundred dollars laid by it was his intention if he approved of the thing to furnish his nephew with a like to bring him and enter into business but the acknowledgement of Jacob that he had not saved a dollar and that he kept no private account settled the matter in the merchant's mind as far as he was concerned about a month afterward Jacob met his employer's nephew who said I'm going into business you are yes what are you going to do open a commission store ah can you get any good consignments I'm to have the agency for a new mill which has just commenced operations beside consignments of goods from several small concerns at the east you'll have to make advances to no great extent my uncle has secured the agency of the new mill here without any advance being required and eight hundred or a thousand dollars will be as much as I shall need to secure as many goods as I can sell from the other establishment which I speak but where will the eight hundred or a thousand come from my uncle has placed a thousand dollars at my disposal indeed the whole thing is the result of his recommendation your uncle you are a lucky dog I wish I had a rich uncle but there is no such good fortune for me this was the conclusion of Jacob Jones who made himself quite unhappy for some weeks brooding over the matter he never once dreamed of the real cause of his not having had an equal share in his young friends good fortune he had not the most distant idea that his employer felt nearly as much regard for him as for his nephew and would have promoted his interests as quickly if he had felt justified in doing so it's my luck I suppose was the final conclusion of his mind and it's no use to cry about it anyhow it isn't every man with a rich uncle and a thousand dollars advanced who succeeds in business nor every man who starts without capital that is unsuccessful I understand as much about business as the old man's nephew any day and can get consignments as well as he can three or four months after this Jacob notified the merchant that he was going to start for himself and asked his interest as far as he could give it without interfering with his own business his employer did not speak very encouragingly about the matter which offended Jacob he's afraid I'll injure his nephew he said to himself but he didn't be uneasy the world is wide enough for us all the old hunks Jacob borrowed a couple of hundred dollars took a store at five hundred dollars a year rent and employed a clerk and porter he then sent his circulars to a number of manufacturers at the east announcing the fact of his having opened a new commission house and soliciting consignments his next move was to leave his boarding house where he had been paying four dollars a week and take lodgings at a hotel at seven dollars a week notwithstanding Jacob went regularly to the post office twice every day few letters came to hand and but few of them contained bills and expenses the result of the first year's business was an income from commission on sales of seven hundred dollars against this were the items of one thousand dollars for personal expenses five hundred dollars for store rent seven hundred dollars for clerk and porter and for petty and contingent expenses two hundred dollars leaving the uncomfortable deficit of seventeen hundred dollars which stood against him in the form of bills for sales effected and small notes of accommodation borrowed from his friends the result of the first year's business of his old employer's nephew was very different the gross profits were three thousand dollars and the expenses as followed personal expense seven hundred dollars just what the young man's salary had previously been and out of which he supported his mother and her family store rent seven hundred dollars porter two hundred and fifty petty expenses one hundred dollars in all thirteen hundred and fifty dollars leaving a net profit of sixteen hundred and fifty dollars it will be seen that he did not go to the expense of a clerk during the first year he preferred working a little harder and keeping his own books by which an important saving was effected at the end of the second year notwithstanding Jacob Jones's business more than doubled itself he was compelled to wind up and found himself twenty five hundred dollars worse than nothing several of his unpaid bills to eastern houses were placed in suit and as he lived in a state where imprisonment for debt still existed he was compelled to go through the forms required by the insolvent laws to keep clear of endurance vile at the very period when he was driven under by adverse scales his young friend who had gone into business about the same time found himself under the necessity of employing a clerk he offered Jones a salary of four hundred dollars the most he believed himself yet justified in paying this was accepted and Jacob found himself once more standing upon terra firma although the portion upon which his feet rested was very small still it was terra firma and that was something the real causes of his ill success never for a moment occurred to the mind of Jacob he considered himself an unlucky dog everything that some people touch turns to money he would sometimes say but I wasn't born under a lucky star instead of rigidly bringing down his expenses as he ought to have done to four hundred dollars if he had had to live in a garret and cook his own food in his old boarding house and paid four dollars a week all his other expenses required at least eight dollars more he was perfectly aware that he was living beyond his income the exact excess he did not stop to ascertain but he expected an increase of salary before long as a matter of course either in his present situation or in a new one but no increase took place for two years and four hundred dollars in debt to tailors, bootmakers his landlady and to sundry friends to whom he applied for small sums of money in case of emergency one day about this time two men were conversing together quite earnestly as they walked leisurely along one of the principal streets of the city where Jacob resided one was past the prime of life and the other about twenty two they were father and son and related to the wish of the latter to enter into business the father did not think the young man was possessed of sufficient knowledge of business or experience and was therefore desirous of associating someone with him who could make up these deficiencies if he could just find the person that pleased him he was ready to advance capital and credit to an amount somewhere within the neighbourhood of twenty thousand dollars for some months he had been thinking that Jacob who was a first rate salesman had a good address and was believed by him to possess business habits eminently conducive to success the fact that he had once failed was something of a drawback in his mind but he had asked Jacob the reason of his ill success which was so plausibly explained that he considered the young man as simply unfortunate in not having capital and nothing else I think Mr Jones the right man for you the father said as they walked along I don't know of anyone with whom I had rather form a business connection he is a man of good address business habits and as far as I know good principles suppose you mention the subject to him this afternoon this was agreed to the two men then entered the shop of a fashionable tailor for the purpose of ordering some clothes while there her man having the appearance of a collector came in and drew the tailor aside their conversation was brief but earnest and concluded by the tailor saying so loud that he could be heard by all who were standing near it's no use to waste your time with him any longer just hand over the account to Simpson and let him take care of it the collector turned away and the tailor came back to his customers it is too bad he said the way some of these young fellows do service I have now several thousand dollars on my books against clerks who receive salaries large enough to support them handsomely and I can't collect a dollar of it there is Jacob Jones whose account I have just ordered to be placed in the hands of a lawyer he owes me nearly two hundred dollars and I can't get a cent out of him I call him little better than a scamp the father and son exchanged glances of significance but said nothing the fate of Jacob Jones was sealed if that is the case said the father as they stepped into the street the less we have to do with him the better to this the son assented another more prudent young man was selected whose fortune was made when Jacob received lawyer Simpson's note threatening a suit if the tailor's bill were not paid he was greatly disturbed am I not the most unfortunate man in the world he said to himself by way of consolation after having paid him so much money to be served like this it is too bad but this is the way of the world let a poor devil once get a little under the weather and everyone must have a kick at him in this dilemma poor Jacob had to call upon the tailor and beg him for further time this was humiliating especially as the tailor was considerably and disposed to be hard with him a threat to apply for the benefit of the insolvent law again if a suit was pressed to an issue finally induced the tailor to waive legal proceedings for the present and Jacob had the immediate terrors of the law taken from before his eyes this event set Jacob to thinking and calculating what he had never before deemed necessary in his private affairs the result did not make him feel any happier to his astonishment he ascertained that he owed more than the whole of his next year's salary would pay while that was not in itself sufficient to meet his current expenses for some weeks after this discovery of the real state of his affairs Jacob was very unhappy he applied for an increase of salary and obtained the addition of one hundred dollars per annum this was something which was all could be said if he could live on four hundred dollars a year which he had never yet been able to do the addition to his salary would not pay his tailor's bill within two years and what was he to do with bootmaker, landlady and others it happened about this time that a clerk in the bank where his old employer was a director died his salary had been one thousand dollars for the vacant place for the immediate application and was so fortunate as to secure it under other circumstances Jacob would have refused a salary of fifteen hundred dollars in a bank against five hundred in accounting room and for the reason that a bank or office clerk has little or no hope beyond his salary or his life while accounting house clerk if he have any apness for trade stands a fair chance of getting into business sooner or later and making his fortune as a merchant but a debt of four hundred dollars hanging over his head was an argument in favour of a club ship in the bank at a salary of a thousand dollars a year not to be resisted I'll keep it until I get even with the world again he consult himself by saying and then I'll go back into accounting room I've an ambition above being a bank clerk all my life painful experience had made Jacob a wiser for the first time in his life he commenced keeping an account of his personal expenses this acted as a salutary check upon his bad habit of spending money for every little thing that happened to strike his fancy and enabled him to clear off his whole debt within the first year unwisely however he had during this time promised to pay some old debts from which the law had released him the person holding these claims finding him in the receipt of a higher salary made an appeal to his honour which like an honest but not a prudent man he responded to by a promise of payment as soon as it was in his power but little time elapsed after these promises were made before he found himself in the hands of constables and magistrates and was only saved from imprisonment by getting friends to go his bail for six and nine months in order to secure then he had to give an order in advance for his salary to get these burdens off his shoulders it took 12 months longer and then he was nearly 30 years of age 30 years old he said to himself on his 30th birthday can it be possible long before this I ought to have been doing a flourishing business and here I am nothing but a bank clerk with the prospect of never rising a step higher as long as I live I don't know how it is that some people get along so well in the world I am sure I am as industrious and can do business as well as any man but here I am still at the point from which I started 20 years ago I can't understand it I'm afraid there's more in luck than I'm willing to believe from this time Jacob set himself to work to obtain a situation in some store or counting room and finally after looking about for nearly a year was fortunate enough to obtain a good place as bookkeeper and salesman with a wholesale grocer and commission merchant $700 was to be his salary his friends called him a fool for giving up an easy place at 1000 a year for a hard one at 700 but the act was a much wiser one than many others of his life instead of saving money during the third year of his receipt of $1000 he spent the whole of his salary without paying off a single debt his private account keeping continued through a year and a half after that it was abandoned had it been continued it might have saved him three or four hundred dollars which were now all gone and nothing to show for them poor Jacob experience did not make him much wiser two years passed and at least half a dozen young men here and there around our friend Jacob went into business either as partners in some old houses or under the auspices of relatives or interested friends but there appeared no opening for him he did not know that many times during that period he had been the subject of conversation between parties one or both of which were looking out for a man of thorough business qualifications against which capital would be placed the fact that either his first failure his improvidence or something else personal to himself had caused him to be set aside for some other one not near so capable he was lamenting his ill luck one day when a young man with whom he was very well acquainted and who was clerk in a neighbouring store called in and said that he wanted to have some talk with him about a matter of interest to both first of all Mr. Jones said the young man after they were alone how much capital could you raise by a strong effort I'm sure I don't know replied Jacob not in a very cheerful tone I never was lucky in having friends ready to assist me well perhaps there will be no need of that you have had a good salary for four or five years how much have you saved enough probably to answer every purpose that is if you are willing to join me in taking advantage of the best openings for business that has offered for a long time I have a thousand dollars in the savings bank you have as much or more I presume I am sorry to say I have not was poor Jacob's reply in a desponding voice I was unfortunate in business some years ago and my old debts have drained away from me every dollar I could earn indeed that is very unfortunate I was in the hopes you could furnish a thousand dollars I might borrow it perhaps if the chance is a very good one well if you could do that it would be as well I suppose return the young man but you must see about it immediately if you cannot join me at once I must find someone who will for the chance is too good to be lost Jacob got a full statement of the business proposed its nature and prospects and then laid the matter before the three merchants with whom he had at different times lived in the capacity of clerk and begged them to advance him the required capital the subject was taken up by them and seriously considered they all liked Jacob and felt willing to promote his interests but had little or no confidence in his ultimate success on account of his want of economy in personal matters it was very justly remarked by one of them that this want of economy and the judicious use of money in personal matters would go with him in business and mar all his prospects still as they had great confidence in the other man they agreed to advance jointly for some needed in the meantime the young man who had made the proposition to Jacob when he learned that he had once failed in business was still in debt and liable to have claims pushed against him this he inferred from Jacob's debt strained away from him every dollar when the fact was he was freed from then by the provisions of the insolvent law of the state came to the conclusion that a business connection with him was a thing to be avoided rather than sought after he accordingly turned his thoughts in another quarter and when Jones called to inform him that he had raised the capital needed he was coolly told that it was too late he having an hour before closed a partnership arrangement with another person under the belief that Jones could not advance the money required this was a bitter disappointment and soured the mind of Jacob against his fellow man and against the fates also which he alleged were all combined against him his own share in the matter was a thing undreamed of he believed himself far better qualified for business than the one who had been preferred before him and he had lost to advance it must be his luck that was against him nothing else he could come to know other conclusion other people could get along in the world but he couldn't that was the great mystery of his life for two years Jacob had been waiting to get married he had not wished to take this step before entering into business and having a fair prospect before him but years were creeping on him the fair object of his affections seemed weary of delay it is no use to wait any longer he said after this dashing of his cup to the earth luck is against me I shall never be anything but a poor devil of a clerk if Clara is willing to share my humble lot we might as well be married first as last Clara was not unwilling and Jacob Jones entered into the estate canubial and took upon him two years of a family with a salary of $700 a year to sustain the new relation instead of taking cheap boarding or renting a couple of rooms and commencing housekeeping in a small way Jacob saw but one course before him and that was to rent a genteel house going debt for genteel furniture and keep two servants two years was the longest that he could bear up under this state of things when he was sold out by the sheriff and forced to go through the mill again as taking the benefit of the insolvent law was facetiously called poor fellow he has a hard time of it I wonder why it is that he gets along so badly he is an industrious man and regular in his habits it is strange but some men seem born to ill luck so said some of his pitying friends others understood the matter better ten years have passed and Jacob is still a clerk but not in a stall hopeless of getting into business he applied for a vacancy that occurred in an insurance company and received the appointment which he still holds at a salary of $1200 a year after being sold out three times by the sheriff and having the deep mortification of seeing her husband brought down to the humiliating necessity as often for the benefit of the insolvent law Mrs Jones took affairs by consent of her husband into her own hands and managed them with such prudence and economy that notwithstanding they have five children the expenses all told are not over $800 a year and half of the surplus $400 is appropriated to the liquidation of debts contracted since their marriage and the other half deposited in the savings bank as a fund for the education of their children in the higher branches when they reach a more advanced age to this day it is a matter of wonder to Jacob Jones why he could never get along in the world like some people and he has come to the settled conviction that it is his luck end of Jacob Jones or the man who couldn't get along in the world by T.S. Arthur by Oscar Wilde as told to Amy Louther this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rob Marland Jezebel the queen stood on her marvell terrace gazing on the fair lands which lay far and wide around her palace her blood red hair hung in thick braids on each side of her white face she was wrapped from head to foot in a robe of woven gold and long strands of emeralds coiled about her flashing and glinting in the twilight like green snakes at play her long pale hands were circled with gems and she looked like some marvellous idol in her gorgeous and deadly beauty she sighed a deep and heavy sigh and Ahab the king said to her wherefore sigest thou oh queen of beauty is there ought on heaven or on earth which lacking thy heart doth desire hast thou not all that gold can buy and that men can make with the labour of their hands but if there be ought else that thy soul desireth am I not here to give it thee for am I not thy slave though I be the king of Syria and the queen answered and with slow and languid accents did she speak as one who is wearied with a great weariness and stricken unto death with the satiety of fulfilled desires tis true, oh king, that I have all that the earth can give gems and gold and garments of tidian purple and woven silver and marble palaces filled with slaves and with dancing girls all these are mine also have I rose gardens and palm trees and orange groves where the scent lies heavy at noon and the camels with their swinging tread ceaselessly do cross the great desert heavy laden with perfumes and treasures for my delight and every man is my slave for I am almighty in my beauty even thou, oh king, dost bow before me unto the west and thou art Ahab, the king of Syria but at my palace gate there is a vineyard the grass is green and the doves fly there and it belongs to another therefore do I sigh and Ahab said sigh not, oh Isabel for most surely shall thou have the vineyard the grass is green and the doves do fly it is the field of Naboth my standard bearer and the friend of my bosom for he hath twice saved my life in battle then Sente for Naboth, the Syrian now Naboth was a youth of twenty years and good to look upon as he stood before the king in all his strength and the king said the queen doth desire thy vineyard I will therefore cover it with gold pieces and with precious gems which thou shalt take in the place of the land or whatsoever else thou shalt appoint either in honors or in treasure that shalt thou have for the queen doth desire thy vineyard but Naboth said nay, king my vineyard was the vineyard of my fathers their heritage to me all I have and I may not part with it nay, not for all the treasure upon the earth then Isabel the queen spake and her voice was low and soft like unto the summer breeze at evening though not trouble him the vineyard is his and should not be taken from him suffer him to go in peace and Ahab went forth and likewise Naboth but later on that day Isabel did call for Naboth and he stood before her then said she unto him come hither and seat thyself beside me on this throne of ivory and gold but Naboth said nay, queen that may I not do for the throne of ivory and gold is the throne of Ahab the king of Syria and on it may no man sit beside the save only the king but the queen answered I am Isabel the queen and I command thee to be seated and he sat beside her on the throne of ivory and gold then the queen said to Naboth here is a drinking cup carven from a single amethyst, drink from it but Naboth said nay for it is the drinking cup of Ahab the king of Syria and from it should no man drink save the king alone but the queen answered I am Isabel the queen and I command you to drink from it and he drank from the drinking cup that was carved from a single amethyst then the queen said to Naboth I am very fair there is none other so fair on all the earth kiss me but Naboth said thou art the wife of Ahab the king of Syria no man may kiss thee but the king and the queen said I am Isabel the queen and thou shalt kiss me and she twined her ivory arms around his neck so that he could not go and then she cried with a loud voice saying Ahab, Ahab and the king did hear her and coming did see her lips on the lips of Naboth and her ivory arms twined around his neck and mad with blind wrath he ran his spear through the body of Naboth the Syrian who died and fell in his blood upon the marble floor then when the king saw the friend of his bosom lying in his blood killed by his hand his wrath left him and his heart was filled with remorse and his soul with anguish oh Naboth my standard bearer and friend of my bosom who twice didst save my life in battle have I with these hands indeed killed thee and is the blood upon them indeed thy young heart's blood would that it were my own and that I were lying in my own blood where thou art now and his grief eat into his very soul and his lamentations filled the air but Isabelle the queen smiled a strange sweet smile and said with her voice which was like the sighing breeze at evening so low and soft naking thy lamentations are foolish and thy tears a vein rather shouldst thou laugh for now the vineyard where the grass is green and where the doves fly is mine own End of Jezebel by Oscar Wilde as told to Amy Louther The Kiss by Kate Chopin this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Chad Horner in County Hunter Northern Ireland situated in the northeast of the island of Ireland The Kiss it was still quite light out of doors but inside with the curtains drawn out of fire sending out a dim on certain glow the room was full of deep shadows Brontain sat in one of these shadows it had overtaken him and he did not mind the obscurity lent him courage to keep his eyes fastened as ardently as he liked upon the girl who sat in the firelight she was very handsome with a certain fine rich colouring she was quite composed as she idly stroked the satiny coat of the cat that lay curled in her lap and she occasionally sent a slow glance into the shadow where her companions sat they were talking low of indifferent things which plainly were not the things that occupied their thoughts she knew that he loved her a frank, blustering fellow without guile enough to conceal his feelings and no desire to do so for two weeks past he had sought her society eagerly and persistently she was confidently waiting for him to declare himself and she meant to accept him the rather insignificant and unattractive Brontain was enormously rich and she liked and required the entourage which wealth could give her during one of the pauses between their talk the last tea and the next reception the door opened and a young man entered him Brontain knew quite well the girl turned her face toward him a stride or two brought him to her side and bending over her chair before she could suspect his intention for she did not realise that he had not seen her visitor he pressed an ardent lingering kiss upon her lips Brontain slowly arose so did the girl arise but quickly and the newcomer stood between them a little amusement and some defiance struggling with the confusion in his face I believe, stammered Brontain I say that I have stayed too long I had no idea that is, I must wish you goodbye he was clutching his hat with both hands and probably did not perceive that she was extending her hand to him her presence of mind had not completely deserted her but she could not have trusted herself to speak hang me if I saw him sitting there nutty I know it's just awkward for you but I hope you'll forgive me this once this very first break why, what's the matter don't touch me don't come near me she've returned angrily what do you mean by entering the house without ringing I came in with your brother as I often do we came in the side way he went upstairs and I came in here hoping to find you the explanation is simple enough and not to satisfy you that the misadventure was unavoidable but do say that you forgive me Natalie he entreated softening forgive you, I don't know what you're talking about let me pass it depends upon a good deal whether I ever forgive you at that next reception which she and Brontain have been talking about she approached a young man with a delicious frankness of manner when she saw him there will you let me speak to you a moment or two Mr. Brontain she asked with an engaging but perturbed smile he seemed extremely unhappy but when she took his arm and walked away with him seeking a retired corner a ray of hope mingled with the almost magical misery of his expression she was apparently very outspoken perhaps I should not have sought this interview Mr. Brontain but oh I have been very uncomfortable almost miserable since that little encounter the other afternoon when I thought how you might have misinterpreted it and believed things hope was plainly gaining the ascendancy over misery in Brontain's round guileless face of course I know it is nothing to you but for my own sake I do not want you to understand that Mr. Harvey is an intimate friend of long standing why we have always been like cousins like brother and sister I may say he is my brother's most intimate associate and often fancies that he is entitled to the same privileges as a family oh I know it is absurd uncalled for I tell you this undignified even she was almost weeping make so much difference to me what you think of me her voice had grown very low and agitated the misery had all disappeared from Brontain's face when you do really care what I think Miss Natalie may I call you Miss Natalie they turned into a long dim corridor that was lined on either side with tall graceful plants they walked slowly to the very end of it when they turned to retrace their steps Brontain's face was radiant and hers was triumphant Harvey was among the guests at the wedding and he sought her out in a rare moment when she stood alone your husband he said smiling has sent me over to kiss you a quick blush suffused her face and round polished throughout I suppose it's natural for a man to feel and act genishly on an occasion of this kind he tells me he doesn't want his marriage to be dropped totally that unpleasant intimacy which has existed between you and me I don't know what you've been telling him with an incident smile but he has sent me here to kiss you she felt like a chess player who by the clever handling of his pieces sees the game taking the course indeed her eyes were bright and tender with a smile as they glanced up into his and her lips looked hungry for a kiss which they invited but you know he went on quietly I didn't tell him so it would have seemed ungrateful but I can tell you I've stopped kissing women it's dangerous, well she had Brontain and his million left a person can't have everything in this world and it was a little unreasonable of her to expect it End of the kiss by Kate Chopin this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information auto-volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Michael Max Laura you're not really dying are you? asked Amanda I have the doctor's permission to live till Tuesday said Laura but today is Saturday this is serious said Amanda I don't know about it being serious it is certainly Saturday said Laura death is always serious said Amanda I never said I was going to die I'm presumably going to leave off being Laura but I shall go on being something an animal of some kind I suppose you see when one hasn't been very good in the life one has just lived one reincarnates in some lower organism and I haven't been very good when one comes to think of it I've been petty and mean and vindictive and all that sort of thing when circumstances have seemed to warrant it circumstances never warrant that sort of thing said Amanda hastily if you don't mind my saying so observe Laura Egbert is a circumstance that would warrant any amount of that sort of thing you're married to him that's different you've sworn to love, honour and endure him I haven't I don't see what's wrong with Egbert protested Amanda oh I dare say the wrongness has been on my part admitted Laura dispassionately he has merely been the extenuating circumstance he made a sin peevish kind of fuss for instance when I took the collie puppies from the farm out for a run the other day they chased his young broods of speckled Sussex and drove two sitting hens off their nests beside ruining all the flower beds you know how devoted he is to his poultry and garden anyhow he needn't have gone on about it for the entire evening and then have said let's say no more about it just when I was beginning to enjoy the discussion that's where one of my petty vindictive revenges came in I did Laura with an unrepentant chuckle I turned the entire family of speckled Sussex into his seedling shed the day after the puppy episode how could you exclaimed Amanda it came quite easy said Laura two of the hens pretended to be laying at the time but I was firm and we thought it was an accident you see resume Laura I really have some grounds for supposing that my next incarnation will be in a lower organism I shall be an animal of some kind on the other hand I haven't been a bad sort in my way so I think I may count Tom being a nice animal something elegant and lively with a love of fun and otter perhaps I can't imagine you as an otter said Amanda well I don't suppose you can imagine me as an angel if it comes to that said Laura Amanda was silent she couldn't personally I think an otter life would be rather enjoyable continued Laura salmon to eat all the year round and the satisfaction of being able to fetch the trout in their own homes without having to wait for hours till they condescend to rise to the fly you've been dangling before them and an elegant svelte figure think of the otter hounds interposed Amanda how dreadful to be hunted and hurried finally worry to death rather fun with half the neighbourhood looking on and anyway not worse than this saturday to Tuesday business of dying by inches and then I should go on into something else if I had been a moderately good otter I suppose I should get back into human shape of some sort perhaps something rather primitive a little brown unclothed newbie and boy I should think I wish you would be serious said Amanda you really ought to be if you're only going to live till Tuesday as a matter of fact Laura died on Monday so dreadfully upsetting Amanda complained to her uncle-in-law Sir Lullworth quain I've asked quite a lot of people down for golf and fishing and the rhododendrons are just looking their best Laura always was inconsiderate said Sir Lullworth she was born during Goodwood week with an ambassador staying in the house who hated babies she had the maddest of ideas said Amanda do you know if there was any insanity in her family insanity no I never heard of any a father lives in West Kensington but I believe he's sane on all other subjects she had an idea she was going to be reincarnated as an otter said Amanda one meets these ideas of reincarnation so frequently even in the West said Sir Lullworth that one can hardly set them down as being mad and Laura was such an unaccountable person in this life that I should not like to lay down definite rules as to what she might be doing in an after-state you really think she might have passed into some animal form asked Amanda she was one of those who shape their opinions rather readily from the standpoint of those around them just then Eggbert entered the breakfast room wearing an air of bereavement that Laura's demise would have been insufficient in itself to account for four of my speckled hens have been killed he exclaimed the four that were to go into the show on Friday one of them was dragged away and eaten right in the middle of that new carnation bed that I've been to such trouble and expense over my best flower bed and my best fowls singled out for destruction it almost seems as if the brute that did the deed had special knowledge how to be as devastating as possible in a short space of time was it a fox do you think asked Amanda sounds more like a pole cat said Selulweth no said Eggbert there were marks of webbed feet all over the place and we followed the tracks down to the stream at the bottom of the garden evidently an otter Amanda looked quickly and furtively across at Selulweth Eggbert was too agitated to eat any breakfast and went out to super intend the strengthening of the poultry yard defences I think she might at least have waited till the funeral was over said Amanda in a scandalised voice it's her own funeral you know said Selulweth it's a nice point in etiquette so far one ought to show respect to one's own mortal remains disregard for mortuary convention was carried to further lengths next day during the absence of the family at the funeral ceremony the remaining survivors of the speckled Sussex were massacred the marauders line of retreat seemed to have embraced most of the flower beds on the lawn but the strawberry beds in the lower garden also suffered I shall get the otterhounds to come here at the earliest possible moment said Eggbert savagely on no account you can't dream of such a thing exclaimed Amanda I mean it wouldn't do so soon after a funeral in the house in the case of necessity said Eggbert once an otter takes to that sort of thing it won't stop perhaps it will go elsewhere now there are no more fells left suggested Amanda one would think you wanted to shield the beast said Eggbert there has been so little water in the stream lately objected Amanda it seems hardly sporting animal when it has so little chance of taking refuge anywhere good gracious Funed Eggbert I'm not thinking about sport I want to have the animal killed as soon as possible even Amanda's opposition weakened when during church time on the following Sunday the otter made its way into the house raided half a salmon from the larder and worried it into scaly fragments on the Persian rug in Eggbert's studio we shall have it hiding under our beds and biting pieces out of our feet before long said Eggbert and from what Amanda knew of this particular otter she felt that the possibility was not a remote one on the evening preceding the day fixed for the hunt Amanda spent a solitary hour walking by the banks of the stream making what she imagined to be hound noises it was charitably supposed by those who overheard the performance that she was practising for farmyard imitations at the forthcoming village entertainment it was her friend and neighbour Aurora Burrett who brought her news of the day's sport pity you weren't out we had quite a good day we found at once in the pool just below your garden did you kill? asked Amanda rather a fine she otter your husband got rather badly bitten trying to tail it poor beast I felt quite sorry for it such a human look in its eyes when it was killed you'll call me silly but do you know who the look reminded me of? my dear woman what is the matter when Amanda had recovered to a certain extent from her attack of nervous prostration Eggbert took her to the Nile valley to recuperate change of scenes speedily brought about the desired recovery of health and mental balance the escapades of an adventurous otter in search of a variation of diet were viewed in their proper light Amanda's normally placid temperament reasserted itself even a hurricane of shouted curses coming from her husband's dressing room in her husband's voice but hardly in his usual vocabulary failed to disturb her serenity as she made a leisurely toilet one evening in a Cairo hotel what's the matter what has happened she asked in an amused curiosity the little beast has thrown all my clean shirts into the bath till I catch you, you little hot little beast asked Amanda suppressing a desire to laugh Eggbert's language was so hopelessly inadequate to express his outraged feelings a little beast of our naked brown nubian boy spluttered Eggbert and now Amanda is seriously ill Laura by Saki the lumber room from beasts and super-beasts by Saki this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Michael Maggs the lumber room the children were to be driven as a special treat to the sons at Jagbra Nicholas was not to be of the party he was in disgrace only that morning he had refused to eat his wholesome bread and milk on the seemingly frivolous ground that there was a frog in it older and wiser and better people had told him that there could not possibly be a frog in his bread and milk to talk nonsense he continued nevertheless to talk what seemed the various nonsense and described with much detail the coloration and markings of the alleged frog the dramatic part of the incident was that there really was a frog in Nicholas basin of bread and milk he had put it there himself so he felt entitled to know something about it the sin of taking a frog from the garden and putting it into a bowl of wholesome bread and milk was enlarged at great lengths but the fact that stood out clearest in the whole affair as it presented itself to the mind of Nicholas was that the older wiser and better people had been proved to be profoundly in error in matters about which they had expressed the utmost assurance you said there couldn't possibly be a frog in my bread and milk there was a frog in my bread and milk he repeated with the insistence of a skilled tactician who does not intend to shift from favorable ground so my cousin and girl cousin and his quite an interesting younger brother were to be taken to Jackborough Sands that afternoon and he was to stay at home his cousin's aunt who insisted by an unwarranted stretch of imagination in styling herself his aunt also had hastily invented the Jackborough expedition in order to impress on Nicholas the delights that he had justly forfeited by his disgraceful conduct at the breakfast table it was her habit whenever one of the children fell from grace to improvise something of a festival nature from which the offender would be rigorously debarred if all the children sinned collectively they were suddenly informed of a circus in a neighbouring town a circus of unrivaled merit and uncanted elephants to which but for their depravity they would have been taken that very day a few decent tears were looked for on the part of Nicholas when the moment for the departure of the expedition arrived as a matter of fact however all the crying was done by his girl cousin who scraped her knee rather painfully against the step of the carriage as she was scrambling in how she did howl said Nicholas cheerfully as the party drove off without any of the elation of high spirits that should have characterised it she'll soon get over that said the sweaty sort aunt it will be a glorious afternoon for racing about over these beautiful sands though they will enjoy themselves Bobby won't enjoy himself much and he won't race much either said Nicholas with a grim chuckle his boots are hurting him they're too tight why didn't he tell me they were hurting asked the aunt with some asperity he told you twice but you weren't listening you often don't listen when we tell you important things you are not to go into the gooseberry garden said his aunt changing the subject why not? demanded Nicholas because you are in disgrace said the aunt loftily Nicholas did not admit the flawlessness of the reasoning he felt perfectly capable of being in disgrace and in a gooseberry garden at the same moment his face took on an expression of considerable obstinacy it was clear to his aunt that he was determined to get into the gooseberry garden only as she remarked to herself because I have told him he is not to now the gooseberry garden had two doors by which it might be entered and once a small person like Nicholas could slip in there he could effectually disappear from view amid the masking growth of artichokes raspberry canes and fruit bushes the aunt had many other things to do that afternoon but she spent an hour or two in trivial gardening operations among flower beds and shrubberies whence she could keep a watchful eye on the two doors that led to the forbidden paradise she was a woman of few ideas with immense powers of concentration Nicholas made one or two parties into the front garden wriggling his way with obvious stealth of purpose towards one or other of the doors but never able for a moment to evade the aunt's watchful eye as a matter of fact he had no intention of trying to get into the gooseberry garden but it was extremely convenient for him that his aunt should believe that he had it was a belief that would keep her on self-imposed century duty for the greater part of the afternoon having thoroughly confirmed and fortified her suspicions Nicholas slipped back into the house and rapidly put into execution a plan of action that had long germinated in his brain by standing on a chair in the library one could reach a shelf on which reposed a fat important-looking key the key was as important as it looked it was the instrument which kept the mysteries of the lumber-room secure from unauthorized intrusion which opened away only for aunts and such like privileged persons Nicholas had not much experience of the art of fitting keys into key-holes and turning locks but for some days past he had practised with the key of the school-room door he did not believe entrusting too much to luck and accident the key turned stiffly in the lock but it turned the door opened and Nicholas was in an unknown land compared with which the gooseberry garden was a stale delight a mere material pleasure often and often Nicholas a-pictured to himself what the lumber-room would be like that region that was so carefully sealed from youthful eyes and concerning which no questions were ever answered it came up to his expectations in the first place it was large and dimly lit one high window opening on to the forbidden garden being its only source of illumination in the second place it was a store-house of unimagined treasures the aunt by assertion was one of those people who think that things spoil by use and consign them to dust and damp by way of preserving them such parts of the house as Nicholas knew best were rather bare and cheerless but here there were wonderful things for the eye to feast on first and foremost there was a piece of framed tapestry there was evidently meant to be a fire-screen to Nicholas giving breathing story he sat down on a roll of Indian hangings glowing in wonderful colours beneath a layer of dust and took in all the details of the tapestry picture a man dressed in the hunting costume of some remote period had just transfixed a stag with an arrow it could not have been a difficult shot because the stag was only one or two paces away from him in the thickly growing vegetation that the picture suggested it would not have been difficult to creep up to a feeding stag and the two dogs that were springing forward to join in the chase had evidently been trained to keep to heal till the arrow was discharged that part of the picture was simple if interesting but did the huntsman see what Nicholas saw that four galloping wolves were coming in his direction through the wood there might be more than four of them hidden behind the trees and in any case would the man and his dogs be able to cope with the full if they made an attack the man had only two arrows left in his quiver and he might miss with one or both of them all one knew about his skill in shooting was that he could hit a large stag at a ridiculously short range Nicholas sat for many golden minutes revolving the possibilities of the scene was inclined to think that there were more than four wolves and the man and his dogs were in a tight corner but there were other objects of delight and interest claiming his instant attention there were quaint twisted candlesticks in the shape of snakes and a teapot fashioned like a china duck out of whose open beak had come how dull and shapeless the nursery teapot seemed in comparison and there was a carved sandalwood box packed tight with aromatic cotton wool and between the layers of cotton wool were little brass figures humped-necked bulls and peacocks and goblins delightful to see and to handle this promising herons was a large square book with plain black covers Nicholas peeped into it and behold it was full of coloured pictures of birds and such birds in the garden and in the lanes when he went for a walk Nicholas came across a few birds of which the largest were an occasional magpie or wood pigeon there were herons and bustards, kites, toucans tiger-bitons brush turkeys, ibises golden pheasants a whole portrait gallery of undreamed-off creatures and as he was admiring the colouring of the Mandarin duck and assigning a life history to it the voice of his aunt in shrill vociferation of his name came from the gooseberry garden without she had grown suspicious at his long disappearance and had leapt to the conclusion that he had climbed over the wall behind the sheltering screen of the lilac bushes she was now engaged in energetic and rather hopeless search for him among the artichokes and raspberry canes Nicholas Nicholas she screamed you ought to come out of this at once it's no use trying to hide there I can see you all the time it was probably the first time for twenty years that anyone has smiled in that lumber-room presently the angry repetition of Nicholas name gave way to a shriek and a cry for somebody to come quickly Nicholas shut the book restored it carefully to its place in a corner and shook some dust from a neighbouring pile of newspapers over it then he crept from the room locked the door and replaced the key exactly where he had found it his aunt was still calling his name when he sauntered into the front garden who's calling he asked me came the answer from the other side of the wall didn't you hear I've been looking for you in the gooseberry garden and I've slipped into the rainwater tank luckily there's no water in it but the sides are slippery I can't get out fetch the little ladder from under the cherry tree I was told I wasn't to go into the gooseberry garden said Nicholas promptly I told you not to and now I tell you that you may came the voice from the rainwater tank rather impatiently your voice doesn't sound like aunts objected Nicholas you may be the evil one tempting me to be disobedient aunt often tells me that the evil one tempts me and that I always yield this time I'm not going to yield don't talk nonsense said the prisoner in the tank go and fetch the ladder will there be strawberry jam for tea asked Nicholas innocently certainly there will be said the aunt privately resolving that Nicholas should have none of it now I know you are the evil one and not aunt shouted Nicholas gleefully when we asked aunt for strawberry jam yesterday she said there wasn't any I know there are four jars of it in the store cupboard I looked and of course you know it's there but she doesn't because she said there wasn't any devil you have sold yourself there was an unusual sense of luxury in being able to talk to an aunt as though she were the evil one but Nicholas knew with childish discernment that such luxuries were not to be overindulged in he walked noisily away and it was a kitchen maid in search of parsley who eventually rescued the aunt from the rainwater tank tea that evening was partaken of in a fearsome silence the tide had been at its highest when the children had arrived at a cove so there had been no sands to play on a circumstance that the aunt had overlooked in the haste of organising her punitive expedition the tightness of Bobby's boots had had disastrous effect on his temper the whole of the afternoon and all together the children could not have been said to have enjoyed themselves the aunt maintained the frozen muteness of one who has suffered undignified and unmerited detention in a rainwater tank for thirty-five minutes as for Nicholas he too was silent in the absorption of one who has much to think about it was just possible he considered that the huntsman would escape the hands while the wolves feasted on the stricken stag end of the lumber-room by Saki The Neophyte by James Warner Bella this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org the surgeon snapped the bands of his rubber gloves and absolutely smoothed the wrinkles back from his long, slender fingers the new man leaned forward over the low railing around the pit and watched him, fascinated his body tense and rigid a curious prickling sensation ran up his spine and tingled behind his ears his stomach and chest felt uncomfortably hollow and empty through the open doorway he could see the narrow white truck with its sheeted form and two or three smocked interns coldly preoccupied someone in there was groaning the acrid sickly sweet smell of ether commenced to permeate the atmosphere and the new man's memory harkened back to a horrible day years before when he had had his tonsils removed as if it had been only yesterday he seemed to hear that dreadful incantation of long, deep breaths longer breaths deeper breaths longer, deeper breaths he shuddered involuntarily as he remembered the awful green spots that had kept dancing on his eyeballs and the choking tightness of his throat just before he had gone under when his olfactory membrane it seemed to dry up and crackle like hard mud the new man cleared his throat violently and sat up he passed a cold hand across his damp forehead he lay up in the back rows of the amphitheater he could hear the occasional crackle of peanut shells he felt somehow that he should be indignant but the feeling wouldn't come he wondered if he would someday become just as indifferent and as hardened as the older students doctors should be sympathetic and gentle and well many other things the door at the rear of the operating pit opened and two nurses came in with old shoes patting softly on the tile flooring one of them nodded to the surgeon someone was talking in a lecture room voice gastro-jukes to me or pylorectomy for stenosis of pylorus the new man wet his lips and folded his hands tightly in his lap lest some of the older students see that they were trembling he tried mightily to concentrate the words should mean something they should mean something and yet they refused to be anything but just noise man age 48 epilepsy in childhood typhoid 1910 venereal denied for past 12 years has been having attacks of abdominal pain the narrow white truck was being wheeled through the doorway into the pit x-ray plates show a constant deformity of lesser curvature of the stomach near pylorus sufficiently obstructive it produced a large residue in the stomach at six hours dr. white will show the plates on the screen now the projecting machine clicked and buzzed somewhere up in the back and the x-ray plates flickered on the screen the new man shifted in his seat but his eyes never moved from the sheeted figure on the operating truck up and down, up and down went the patient's chest little convulsive shivers ran through the border of the sheet where it fell over the side with each jerky rise and fall of the covering sheet the new man's heart skipped a half beat npn 65 urea nitrogen 31.5 creatin 2.4 uric acid 5.1 blood sugar 0.13 good heavens why didn't someone do something instead of just talking talking blood RBC 5,872 HGB 90% WBC 15,600 poly 75% gastric test meal still that ghastly drone the instruments clicked and tinkled as the nurse laid them in rows on the tray at the foot of the truck someone had stripped the sheeting back exposing a small square of iodine flesh which heaved and pulsated gently with the chest action the small brown square swam lazily around the room and the pit seemed suddenly full of smocked surgeons all moving and nodding in the same identical manner the new man shut his eyes and bit savagely into his upper lip for a moment the pain stopped the whirling in his head he wanted a cigarette he'd never smoked in his life because it was bad for the nurse but now savagely, passionately he wanted a cigarette he opened his eyes and again his tongue licked at the dry lips the anesthesist straightened up and nodded carefully the surgeon pinched the flesh and took a scalpel from the tray he ran the gleaming blade deftly across drawing a tiny red line on the background of brown the new man felt something clogged in his throat he tried frantically to draw a breath his hands flipped from his knees and far away heard a voice get him out he'll be all right in a minute when he opened his eyes someone was bending over him with a glass of water he was out of the amphitheater feel better now he shut his eyes and bit his trembling lips don't worry you'll be all right in half a second it's not that oh lord what kind of doctor will I make fainting like that the student with a glass of water laughed yes it's all right to laugh but all my life I've wanted to be a surgeon and now I kill over like a baby the other students stopped laughing and slapped the new man on the back you silly ass you sat right over the aetherizer you didn't faint you were damn near put under come on drink that water he's doing a gastrosomy next and I've got to see it from my report the new man jumped to his feet do you mean I didn't faint after all I don't know what you call it but no one can sit over an aetherizer all day without doing something the new man gulped down the water say have you got a cigarette end of the Neophyte by James Warner Bella an old game by Henry Van Dyke this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Chad Horner from Balli Clare in County and Term in Ireland situated in the northeast of the island of Ireland an old game three men were taking a walk together as they said just two while away the time the first man intended to go somewhere to look at a piece of property which he was considering the second man was ready to go anywhere since he expected to be happy by the way the third man thought he was going nowhere because he was a philosopher and held that time and space are only mental forms therefore the third man walked in silence reflecting upon the vanity of wiling away an hour which did not exist and upon the futility of going where staying was the same thing but the other men being more simple were playing the oldest game in the world and giving names to the things that they saw as they traveled mutton said the somewhere man as he looked over the stone wall a flock of sheep said the anywhere man gazing upon the pasture where the fleecy youths were nipping grass between the rocks and the eager lambs nuzzled their mothers but the nowhere man meditated on the foolish habit of eating and said nothing and anthill said the anywhere man looking at a mind beside the path see how busy the citizens are piss mires said the somewhere man kicking the mold they sting like the devil but the nowhere man being certain that the devil is a myth said nothing briars said the somewhere man as they passed through the coppers blackberries said the anywhere man they will blossom next month and ripen in august but the nowhere man to whom they referred the settlement of the first round of the game decided that both had lost because they spoke only of accidental phenomena with the next round they came into a little forest on a sandy hill the oak trees were silver and the fir trees were rusty green and the maple trees were in rosy bud on these things the travellers were agreed but among the withered foliage on the ground a vine trailed far and wide with verdant leaves thick and heavy and unto the leaves were clusters of rosy stars been breathing a wonderful sweetness so that the travellers could not but smell it rough leaf said the somewhere man gravel weed we call it in our country because it marks the pure soil trailing our butters said the anywhere man may flowers we call them in our country but why said the nowhere man may has not yet come she is coming answered the other she will be here before these are gone on the other side of the wood they entered a meadow where a little bird was bubbling over with music in the air skunk black bird said the somewhere man colours the same as a skunk bobo link said the anywhere man spills his song while he flies it is a silly name said the nowhere man where did you find it I don't know once or the other it just sounds to me like the bird by this time it was clear that the two men not play the game by the same rules but they went on playing just as other people do they saw a little thatched house beside the brook beastly hovel said the first man pretty cottage said the second a woman was tossing and fondling her child with kiss words sickly sentiment said the first man mother love said the second they passed a youth sleeping on the grass under a tree lazy hind said the first man happy dog said the second now the third man remembering that he was a philosopher concluded that he was wasting his imaginary time in hearing this endless old game I must bid you good day gentlemen said he for it seems to me that you are disputing only about appearances and are not likely to arrive somewhere or anywhere but I am seeking dusting and stitch so he left them on his way nowhere and I knew not which of the others won the game but I think the second man had more pleasure in playing it end of an old game by Henry Van Dyke The Poet by Oscar Wilde as told to Amy Louther this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rob Marland The Poet The Poet lived in the country amongst the meadows and the woods but every morning he went into the great city which lay many miles away over the hills in the blue mist and every evening he used to return and in the dusky twilight the children and the people would gather round him whilst he told them of all the wonderful things that he had seen that day in the woods and by the river and on the hilltops he would tell them of how the little brown fawns peeped out at him from among the green leaves in the woodland he would tell them of the green haired Nereads who had risen out of the glassy lake singing to him on their harps he would tell them also about the great Centaur who met him on the hilltop and had galloped off laughing in the cloud of dust these and many more wonderful things did the Poet tell the children and the people as they clustered round him every evening whilst the shadows grew thick and the grey twilight fell he told them marvellous tales of the wondrous things which his mind had created for he was filled with beautiful fancies but one day the Poet burning from the great city through the wood really did see the little brown fawns peering at him through the green leaves and when he came to the lake the green haired Nereads did indeed rise from the glassy water and sang to him on their harps and when he reached the hilltop a great Centaur went galloping off in a cloud of dust and laughed on that evening when the people and the children gathered round him in the dim twilight to hear of all the wonderful things he had seen that day the Poet said to them I have nothing to tell you today I have seen nothing for on that day for the first time in his life he had seen reality and to a Poet fancy is reality and reality is nothing End of the Poet by Oscar Wilde as told to Amy Louther A Reflection by Kate Chupin This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Chad Horner from Ballyclair in County Hunter Northern Ireland situated in the northeast of the island of Ireland A Reflection Some people are born with a vital and responsive energy and not only enables them to keep abreast of the times it qualifies them to furnish in their own personality a good bit of the motive power to the mad pace they are fortunate beings they do not need to apprehend the significance of things they do not grow weary nor misstep nor do they fall out of rank by the wayside to be left contemplating the moving procession that moving procession that has left me by the roadside its fantastic colours are more brilliant and beautiful than the sun on the undulating waters what matter if souls and bodies are failing beneath the feet of the ever pressing multitude it moves with the majestic rhythm of the spheres its discordant clashes upward in one harmonious tone that blends with the music of other worlds to complete God's orchestra it is greater than the stars that moving procession of human energy greater than the palpitating earth and the things growing there on oh I could weep at being left by the wayside left with the grass and the clods and a few dumb animals true I feel at home in the society of these symbols of life's immutability in the procession I should feel the crushing feet the clashing discords the ruthless hounds and stifling breath I could not hear the rhythm of the march salve ye dumb hearts let us be still and wait by the roadside end of a reflection by Kate Chupin