 So, what are these two mistakes? Number one, and before I start, the important thing about these two mistakes is that they are universal. There's not a human being who has not felt one of these symptoms, one of these things I'm about to talk about. It's in each one of us from the time we're children. It's completely intertwined with our human DNA, with our human, who we are, what we want, what it means to be us. There's no running away from it. There's no escaping it. All we can possibly do is try to live with it and control ourselves and control like what our actions as best we can despite of it. You'll see what I mean in just a second. The number one mistake that just about everybody makes, completely natural, we're doing it from the time we're children, is that, for whatever strange reason, we always just want to believe that the world revolves around us, right? When you're a child, you believe that you're the center of everything and everything revolves around you. In fact, as a child, you learn how to relate with the world in terms of how it affects you. This is an integral part of a child's development. I learn what this water is based on what it does to me. I don't care what it is outside of me, but I care about how it feels to me, how it tastes in my mouth, how it feels when I jump in the swimming pool. Water couldn't even exist outside of that to me when I'm a child. In our adult lives, we usually grow out of these tendencies. We usually move past it in most parts of our life. However, in those times that we actually care, in those times that we get nervous, in the times that we put value on a situation, we have a tendency of reverting back to some less than glamorous tendencies. One of those tendencies being to interpret things, exterior things, especially things that we value, simply in terms of how they relate to us, interpreting everything through that lens. What do I mean? If you're speaking to a woman who you do not find that attractive, right? You don't value her. Let's just say in your own worldview, she is unattractive, right? You go to talk to this person, and she's cold, she's distant, she's unresponsive. What do you say to yourself? You say, well, she's not a very nice person, maybe she wasn't so ugly, she probably wouldn't be so mean all the time. Some variation, right? Oh, why is she such a bitch? Now, let's take that girl, only transform her to the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life, or the most beautiful woman you've ever seen that night. Being there, hair's perfect, makeup's perfect, outfit sexy, whatever your dream girl happens to look like, and you go to talk to her, she's unresponsive, she's cold, she's distant. What's the first message that goes through your head now? She didn't like me, I didn't say the right thing, my line wasn't good enough, I wasn't funny enough. What could I have said in order to get a better reaction out of her? What should I have said right there? What am I doing wrong? Why can't I figure this out? Why am I struggling? The second that value comes into play, everything we know about things just operating at a rational level goes out the window and we become that child again. It all becomes about us. How does that relate to me? What does that say about me? What does that say about who I am, my value? We just give it away in that moment. Why? That makes her so special. Ask yourself that question. Here's the key. There's something that I teach, I call it the 60-40 principle. It's really, really, really simple. This one kind of helps you remember not to get caught in this trap. And what the 60-40 principle says is that anytime you ever get any sort of reaction out of another human being, any point in your life, 60% of it has nothing whatsoever to do with you. The vast majority of it has to do with her, where she's at, what her upbringing was like, how outgoing she is, how social she is, how great she is able to come up with a witty comeback when some stranger approaches her. If some gorgeous girl came up to you and said, hey, how's it going? Are you going to be there with some funny comeback? Are you going to stutter and maybe get a little nervous sometimes? Why is she any different? Maybe she's just having a bad week. Maybe her boss was being a dick that day. Maybe she just got broken up with. Maybe she didn't have the best relationship with her father. Maybe that dress she's wearing makes her feel fat. Maybe she is ovulating. Maybe she is menstruating. That's probably going to be the biggest determinant of whether you get a positive or a negative response. 60%, the vast majority of it has nothing to do with you whatsoever. Yeah, 40%, there's still stuff under your control. There's still stuff you can do to influence that situation. But why is it when you get that negative response from a woman that you actually care about, that you actually value, is your first impression, what did I do wrong? What's wrong with me instead of what's wrong with her? Why? Does it make any sense whatsoever, logically? Like I said, it's one thing to understand it intellectually. Actually understand it right here requires action in situations in which you normally wouldn't want to take action. What does this all mean? What does this whole 60-40 thing mean in terms of approaching women? And you know what? In terms of approaching, I say 60-40 for all parts of an interaction. For approaching, I'd say it's way less than that. I would put it at 80, 20, 90, 10. What I'm saying is that when you approach a woman, yes, there are some things that are under your control. However, the vast majority of her response has nothing to do with you whatsoever. And you know this too. When you're talking to a girl you don't care about, you've been there before. She doesn't respond as you'd like her to. You're like, yeah, whatever. I'm having a great time. But yet you all know that there has been times when a woman that you actually value has not been social, has shown that she lacks social intelligence or her social abilities, shows that she's not in a very friendly mood, shows that she's not outgoing, shows that she can't hold a conversation, and you feel dejected. You feel like you did something wrong. You feel like she's rejecting you. She can't reject you, especially if she gets to know you after a while and you just screw things up left and right, then she can reject you. In those first five to 10 seconds, all she can do is tell you a little bit about herself. It's the first biggest mistake that guys make. They take it personally. It's about me. When it has nothing to do with you whatsoever. It's always about you, right? When you do wrong, oh, it's me. I said the wrong thing. She doesn't like me. I mean, it works well in opposite, right? She responds positively. You can't wait to pump yourself up. Man, she loved me. I look so good. I said the right thing. I was so smooth. How could she not want me? Are you joking? I hate to tell you, 6040 kind of works there, too. No, she was probably just ovulating. I mean, yeah, she liked you, but don't give yourself so much credit. It was more to do with the fact that she was in the mood and you just happened to be a man who she was attracted to. But she has a say in this, too. It's not all you that deserves all the credit here. Maybe she ran a little game on you as well. First biggest mistake. Second biggest mistake that the vast majority of us make, especially when times are hard, especially when we get put in situations, that test our patience, that test our nerves. Also, incredibly human. Also, incredibly born in us from, geez, from the time we could crawl, essentially. This mistake is that, oh man, this is common amongst all kinds of anxiety. Think about any time you've ever been nervous about anything, or in general when human beings get anxious or nervous about things in their life. This is one of the first responses that human beings have to it. Is that when they find something that they don't like, that doesn't make them feel good, that they can't explain, that just, ugh, that they just don't enjoy. Something they don't understand. Something that makes them feel anxious, something they fear. One of the first most common human reactions is they want to control that thing. They feel that if they can exert more control over that situation, then that will alleviate their fear. If they can somehow just, if it wasn't so out in the air, if it wasn't so random, if it wasn't so scary, if it wasn't so unknown, then that would alleviate their fear, then they would be able to control the situation, then they would be able to approach all the women that they want. You've told yourself this, if I just had that line, if I just knew what to say so that I could minimize rejection, then I could approach. If I could just whittle rejection down to maybe like 10%, then I would have no problem, no fear approaching any woman any time, anywhere. Here's the big difference between when you've told yourself that, between a guy who doesn't have any fear approaching, that rare 1% who doesn't have any fear approaching whatsoever. Okay, you're like, well, if I could minimize rejection, then I could go approach whenever. The natural says,