 Come and thank you for joining Sister Power, I'm Sharon Yarbrough. Our topic for this episode is keep your chin up, tactics for believing in yourself. When I solicit questions from my network, one continuously pops up, how did you learn to believe in yourself? This is such a popular question and is central to becoming a top performer today. To discuss tactics, techniques, frameworks and strategies, Sister Power welcomes two VIP guests. Dr. Kamania R. Graham-Tutt is currently an assistant professor at the University of Hawaii, West O'ahu. She is a compassionate researcher, educator that values the notion of creative education. She is known to elicit excellence from herself and others and encourages all who come in contact with her to be the change they want to see and more. Dr. Paula B. Major is an associate professor for Division of Elementary Education. Her research interests include using culturally responsive materials to select appropriate instructional strategies to stimulate classroom discussions, as well as to teach about various cultural contributions to academic learning. Ladies, happy National Women's History Month. Thank you, welcome for coming. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so glad you were able to come on. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. Oh, you're happy to be here. Thank you. Even if it's raining outside, you look like sunshine in here. Absolutely. Absolutely. I love it. And I want to thank you for this beautiful lay. Welcome. Tell me a little bit about it. Well, we wanted to make sure we showcase the colors of our proud university, the University of Hawaii at West O'ahu. And I actually enjoy lays that are something that you can keep and hold on to. So we do hope you have lasting memories from today and remember us through that lay. I love that. Now, I did read that the both of you attended Howard University. Did you meet there? Interesting enough, we did not. We did not. I attended undergrad and I'm a little bit older, just a little bit. So when she came through, I was gone. Right. And I went there for my graduate studies, my doctoral degree. I did it at Howard University and I don't think I would have done it any other way. Maybe if I would have gone at the time, she would have gone. I would not be sitting here today. So I'm very happy that I did go for my graduate studies there. Timing is everything. Everything. Let's just dig right in. You know, after all, if you don't believe in yourself, none of the tactics, techniques, frameworks and strategies will mean anything. So let's discuss some ways we can start believing in yourself. Take brutally small steps with a long-term perspective. How do you take that? When you're talking to your classroom, how are you advising them to do that? Me personally, I think one huge area that I try to even live in personally and professionally is I live in the world of yes. Everything is a yes for me. Every opportunity is a go for it, meaning yes. If you find there's a little setback, you kind of figure out another way to still say yes. Barack Obama said yes we can. Kamania Gramtut says yes she will. And so I really attribute everything I do to the answer yes. Now I do understand that you will encounter some no's, but that's an opportunity to set another goal for an ultimate yes. So I would say that's how I love that. And I usually start with the end in mind. So whatever it is that I know that I want to achieve, I'm an athlete by nature. And usually athletes see what it is they want to accomplish before they even do it. And so I plan backwards. I literally ask myself what is it that I want to achieve when it's all said and done? Why am I doing this? What do I want to do? So once I figure out the end result in mind first, then I set small goals to accomplish along the way to that end result goal. It's a method of coping for me because sometimes you can't look at something in its entirety. It can be overwhelming. It can be exhausting. It can cause stress. So for me, I take dosages of what it is I want to accomplish by this date, by this time, by this month, by this week, what have you. And then I'll pick up that next chunk. So I literally look at something in chunks and achieve it in chunks. So you're setting goals? I'm setting goals in chunks. And there are small goals to large goals. Excuse me, but in chunks is the key for me. I like that. With deadlines. I give myself personal deadlines and I write it down and I must meet that deadline. So once you write it down, that's a vision. That's that dream. Dreams do come true. So once you write it down, it's for me to manifest it and it's not abstract anymore. I treat my word as bond and I treat my writing as bond. But when I write it down, Paula, that means you got to do it because you wrote it down. And it's not until I write it down do I even take it seriously. I have anyone who's met me and sees me doodling. I have this kind of like a Bible agenda and it has literally all the things that I need to do personal and professionally written down and it's a planner that literally forces me to plan and write just as she said, write it down, commit to doing it, and I actually have a tendency to want to strike out those plans. So writing it down and then accomplishing it through striking it out is huge. It feels good, right? It feels like braille on that shoot. It feels like braille. It's a journal. It's an agenda, but you write down the thoughts and plans you have, but the more exciting part is finishing them. And if they don't get finished that day, they have to move to the next day. That gives you a carrot to keep going after that goal. I like that. Well, Paula, you said two things. One that you're an athlete. What type? Tennis. Tennis? You play tennis every day? I grew up playing tennis and I grew up playing lacrosse. Now I play golf. Oh, golf. All right. And that's where all the business is to take care of right now in the golf course. And another important point that you bought out is keeping your word. Yes. And that is a bond that I am a stickler with. If you tell me you're going to do something, I'm going to hold you to it. Because think about, really, that's all what we have is our word. What else can you depend on? And truth be told, you should keep your bond. And I personally like to over deliver on that bond. So if I say, absolutely, I can do that for you, whatever the task might be, but internally I'm going to think about how could I do it in even a more impressive way or even a more exciting way so that they remember, oh, yeah, they keep their bond, they keep their word and they over deliver. And you're dependable. When you keep your word, you're dependable. And then another key word is accountability. Right. Let's talk about how do we handle naysayers? I think we handle naysayers showing up and showing out. That's number one. Okay. But also by sharing it with someone else and maybe saying, hey, this has really been hard for me and these people are telling me that I'm not going to do it. And then you can get with someone who's of like mind, of like spirit, of like thought and they can help you design that path to move around those naysayers. I personally like to work around them to begin with. So the minute I see a naysayer or a non-believer, they may not be a naysayer, but you can tell by the energy they give off or the vibe they give off that, you know, they're not fully in your court. They won't probably support you. I like to just work around them. I have this one monkey doesn't stop a show. Right. So do I have to deal with you to do whatever it is I want to accomplish? If not, I'm working all around that person. I'm not unpleasant. I'm not mean. I'm not unprofessional. I just maneuver around you strategically and accomplish what it is I need to accomplish because you're probably not the person in the end that makes the final say to begin with. So it's no need of me getting really wrapped up about it. But if I do emotionally, I'll go to my closest friends who understand, right? And personally, where I know it can be protected and shared just to get it off my chest. Sure. The feeling. But I will strategically work around them. I like that. I think that just gives you fuel, though. To be honest, it does help. Even though they may be a naysayer, you are that much more determined to prove them wrong. So you get your allies, you get puffed up or muster up the strength and you do even better than you thought. And you know what? You catch more bees with honey. So this is, I like to do this. When they are a naysayer, I come right back at them with positivity or just the opposite of whatever they're saying, because eventually that's a lot of energy for one to keep up. They usually fizzle out. They dissolve. They can't do it because they know that they keep giving that to you, but you reflect it, you know. And you're digested and you're ducking. And eventually they're just not a naysayer to you anymore. They try perhaps to the next person, but... True. Right. I came back when I first moved here from Los Angeles and I was fresh off from reading this book. What you think of me is none of my business. And because people tell you what you can't, you know, you can't do that here in Hawaii. Yes you can. You can do whatever. Yes you can. Yes you can. We're back to Yes You Can. Yes you can. Well, one important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. And Arthur Ashe, he said, over-prepared like you cannot even imagine. And you did speak briefly about, you know, being prepared. Oh, I completely agree. And as a mother, as someone's spouse, you know, these are all things that are a part of how you can also prepare. And I often times I think people come and ask me for things because they say, come on here. I know you have this. Can you please just offer it or help me out? He's absolutely right. You do have to be over-prepared and that goes along with planning. Your planning allows you to be over-prepared in addition to just rethinking your path over and over and over again to be confident in your plan and also being over-prepared for your plan. And that makes me think because you know I prepare students to become teachers in the elementary classroom. And the one thing I always tell them is you cannot prepare enough. You should over-plan in your lessons. You rather over-plan than under-plan. Now the idea is not to achieve all of these objectives, but to have substance within that planning. So if you have planning that covers a 50 minute period, you should treat it as you've planned enough for 100 minutes, half more. And if you don't get to it, that's fine. But it's better to have enough than not have enough. Well, I'm liking what I'm hearing and we are going to take a short break and we're going to come back and continue our conversation about keep your chin up. Okay. Nice. Aloha. I'm Richard Concepcion, the host of Hispanic Hawaii. You can watch my show every other Tuesday at 2 p.m. We will bring you entertainment, educational, and also we tell you what is happening right here within our community. Think Tank Hawaii. Aloha. How come he gets to go in? He's a service dog. Well, I could get a vest too. You're not even a service dog. He's trained to assist his owner. Well, I can do whatever he can do. Wow. Did he just open the door? Yep. Oh. I can't do that. I can't do that either. He's trained for over two years to become a service dog. Man, I wish I could be a service dog. Welcome back to Sister Power. I'm here with two VIP guests, Dr. Kamania Grantut and Dr. Paula Major. And our episode today is about keep your chin up tactics for believing in yourself. And we're going to play a little game. Okay. Okay. And I'll start off. Okay. I'm going to ask this question. Complete this question for our viewers. Believing in yourself is a key factor in, and I am going to say a key factor in staying positive. It's a key factor in life. It's a key factor in confidence. And let's talk about self-love. Yes. That's, you know, I think that more emphasis should be on loving yourself now. And this is how you're able to share your love. So I like that, developing self-esteem as well. Yes. All right. Well, let's keep it moving. What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment? For me, my greatest accomplishment is having two healthy, beautiful children. Because when it's all said and done, I want to show evidence of contribution to the world. And yes, I could say I could do that through my profession, but, you know, that's going to live on and just be there and do its thing. But for me, it's my children and hoping that they will contribute right back to society the way I have been modeling it to them. It's very important. And for me, it's just all about service and helping others. That's my biggest accomplishment. Never knew I could, you know, you don't really know what your life has in store, how it's going to unfold. All you know is you want to just follow the path of guidance and do what you're supposed to do. So it's been very joyful that I've been able to have healthy children. I will say that one, I have several large accomplishments. But the one that delights me the most is I also have a daughter and I definitely agree with Dr. Major that it's a joy. But being a walking, breathing role model is very, very important to me. These children, young adults, for someone to see you walking through your path and then want to tap you and say, can I do that? And then you can physically say it, like, yes, you can do this, there's anything you want to do. You can put your mind to it is one of my greatest accomplishments. I don't know how else I would be able to keep going without being able to have people that I can share it with now. So instead of being dead and gone, I'm going to share it with you now. The future, the present, being in the present. I like that. Well, I love this quote by Tupac Shakur, even though you're fed up, you've got to keep your head up. So how can we as three accomplished African-American women continue to inspire the young generation that's coming up? I mean, there's so much that they're watching on TV that is negative and they're worried about paying off their student loans and are there jobs out there for me? Am I good enough? I mean, we have to continue to inspire. So how do you keep educating and inspiring your students? I've taken the role of not only modeling but nurturing and giving the opportunity for success. So at the University of West Oahu, I have a class, it's Public Administration 310, Research Methods in the Public Sector. It was a small class of 18, the first semester that I started working there. And I said, by golly this semester, you all are going to present your research to the greater university. That's a big deal. These are not traditionally students who are open and open to speaking in public. And I said, no, no, there's no buts. We're going to definitely try this. Now looking back three or four semesters later, the symposium has grown to include students all over the entire campus. And for me, that means that I'm giving the opportunity for people who did not think they could do something to do something really great. It's my hope that they can take the research that they explained to their peers and to the community outward to the public on the mainland, throughout the greater Pacific, to show and be confident that this is something that I produced in a class that I took at West Oahu, and I'm very proud of what I've done. So I just hope that continues and I'm really, really excited about that. Keep hope alive. I tell others not just students or friends, but it is your job to uplift the next person. Because if you think about it, you had someone to help you get as far as you've gotten, as far as you've gotten, and as far as I've gotten. I'm sure we have several people that have helped us elevate to that next pillar. But it is our role, too, to reach back and uplift the next person. To me, that is very important. You should not get to the level where you are and not help others. Because you know they're watching and you know they do look up to you, so be a good mentor. It goes back to that, like you said, and it helps build their confidence. But it's just important to bring that next person along. I totally agree. What advice would you give women in order to keep their seat at the table? I think I would say be present, and that doesn't just mean physically. That means when you come to the meeting where there's a table and there's maybe no other women, be invested in the conversation. Have already done your homework, probably more than the person next to you, and come with your ammunition of information, material, talk to your colleagues, your girlfriends for support, but come ready. So sit there and pay attention, not just as a doormat or as someone who's a seat filler, but truly be active and a contributor. You keep your seat. I think if you're genuine about it and you show passion about it, then you can't be minimized. You can't be overlooked. You can come with all this great ammo, ammunition, information and tool, but let's just be honest with women, we know we have to deliver it softer, so the message is really heard as opposed to who's delivering the message, right? Sometimes it's an advantage or disadvantage, but if you're passionate and you're genuine about your seat at the table, I don't think people will overlook you. They can't. They can't. Wow, I like that. This is why I started, you know, this is National Women's History Month, and I would have annual women making history, because I do feel, sisters in part in Hawaii, we do feel that women are oftentimes overlooked and undervalued. Definitely undervalued. Definitely undervalued, and we bring a lot to the table. So my other question to you is how to envision and reach your big potential. What advice would you give the young girls coming up about reaching their big potential? I'd say, plan it. When you write things down, and you plan them, and you focus on them, and you may have a map or a tree that you've written out, because you have a goal, but there's all these other competing interests that you want to fill, attack or succeed in, you can make them all come together, and it'll make your goal or your dream that much more fruitful. You just have to think about it. I try to encourage my students to do that too, because in community health it's kind of hard. Sometimes students may think, well, what am I going to do with this degree when I get out? And that's the fun, exciting, and creative part about the degree program. You literally have something you like and interest. There's all these other things that are around it that you want to get to your goal. So you begin to think creatively. Use critical thinking skills about how to put that all together. That becomes your path. That becomes your story. And then you can use it to help others. I also think share your vision with one person that you trust, just bouncing ideas off of. Research the best you can. With the internet it's helpful. There's a lot of information out there that could possibly guide you. I also say pick up some tangible books. If there's libraries near you. Try and research what's similar to what it is you want to create or envision so that you can perhaps even reach out to that person to say, hey, how did you get started? Or hey, how did you start believing in yourself to plan to accomplish this? Sometimes we have to realize that everyone started at the bottom of their big goal or their big vision, right? I think we have to remember everyone probably was nervous or scared or not really sure how to go about it. And then of course in the end when it's all said and done, it doesn't look like that person went through those different emotions and steps, but I'm pretty sure they did. So if you can try and reach out to someone who you think has similar outcomes and goals that you want to accomplish and do lots of reading and asking questions, who's done it before? If someone's done it before they're living and breathing, they're your best resource. And share it with one other person who you trust, who wouldn't say, oh, no, that can't happen. Not the nice thing. Not the nice thing. You need one good cheerleader in your corner. Absolutely. You know who that can be. And that could be you. Yeah. That could be you. Well, in closing, I just can't believe this is almost over. We have so much more to cover. What would you like to share with the audience that we have not discussed in 30 seconds or less? How do you break through a wall when you stop believing in yourself? It's very hard for me to answer that question because I pray. I pray. I pray. Okay. Perseverance. Keep going. I pray. Oh, I'm a praying woman too. I pray. Keep going. And I, you know, and I started having a little bit of doubt and oh, can I do this? You know, can I balance this? I pray. I pray. I follow this gut intuition. I'll even call my mom. I'm going to say your mom is another woman. And my mom will say, own it. Those are always her words growing up. Own it. You got this. You got this. Well, we've got this. And having faith in yourself. Hallelujah. Yes. Thank you so much. And I want to thank you. Thank you to every one of you who's listening to our audience. Thank you. Kamonia. Thank you. Paula. Thank you. For sharing your time with us. Oceans of Aloha. Peace. Know thyself.