 Welcome to another Narc Spyver Live video. In this one I'm going to be talking about what you can expect from a narcissist at the end of a relationship. Because in the beginning there's like this a rudge of wild excitement and fun. They come in like they're this life of the party as though they're there to help you and things are going to be so much better for you now that they're there as though they're going to change your life everything is going to be better and there's all of this fun there's all of these things going on now that they're with you now that they're around but then it isn't long until they turn against you they begin by idealizing you and seeing you as perfect and that's where this eagerness and enthusiasm comes from because they're looking at you like you're the best thing since sliced bread like they got to get around you and that's what draws them to you but then they realize that your qualities can't be theirs and there's no way for them to get that out of you so that they can have it for themselves so then that is why they begin to hate you it's why they then turn against you when they realize that they can't be you and that your qualities can't be theirs that's what makes them do that that's why they then devalue you because they're looking at looking at it like well if i can't be you and i can't have your qualities for myself for myself then that must mean it's not that good anyway so now i gotta take it down i gotta make it less than what it actually is because it can't be mine it's how they see it so that's how they go from one extreme to the other from idealizing you to then devaluing you and yeah at the beginning they came in with all of this fun and excitement as though you're going to have a good time with them and let's keep it real maybe you did in the beginning but that was all fake it was an illusion if it was real they would have been able to sustain it but they couldn't because it wasn't real it was fake and this is typically how it goes with narcissists start off as fun in the beginning but then when things get serious they get serious things get bad and then they're out seeking to harm you and ruin your life but then sometimes they'll come back with the false character they will re-idealize you again even while they've still got this grudge this bitterness and resentment burning up inside of them and yet they cover it up they bottle it up for a certain amount of time and then they come back and re-idealize you and that's why it's like you don't know where you stand with them you don't know how things actually are because everything is going off of their feelings and their feelings can change from one moment to the next which is why they're very unpredictable you never know what's going to happen and this is why many of you may not see this coming and that is why i have to create this video to make you aware of it so that you are better able to protect yourself because up again there's only one thing that a narcissist is going to do i mean if you want to like round it up and just to simplify it it really comes down to this what they're going to do at the end of the relationship is they're going to blame you for everything they're going to hold you responsible they're going to pile all of these unnecessary duties and responsibilities onto you as though that's your fault as though you have to deal with that including things that had nothing to do with you at all things that they were the cause of yes they will still put that onto you and expect you to deal with it because they don't take accountability they're like big babies they're emotionally immature toddlers and adult bodies and that's why in the beginning it's under the guise of fun and you think you're gonna have a good time with them but before you know it that comes back to bite you in the yes yes that comes back to get you and i'm not saying just don't have fun just be dull be boring all of the time i mean that's what we advise with narcissists as ross Rosenberg has said and it's his gray rock technique as well he created that he advised that we should just gray rock these narcissists because yes although there is this fun and exciting side to us and that is a real part of ourselves that's not a real part of them it's fake it's just designed to manipulate us to get us to lower our god our god so that they can then exploit us and take advantage of us and that's why when you're around narcissists you need to be dull boring and then interesting doesn't matter if they call you selfish doesn't matter if they call you boring let them think that who cares what they think as long as they don't screw you over and if you want to have fun you want to have a good time do that with someone else just don't do that with them because at some point you will regret it you will feel worse than before you did it because before you did it you were thinking oh this is going to be a good time this is going to be fun this is exciting but that's because it was a facade a false character that's not actually who they are and that's why once you get involved with them you start to see who the real person is under the mask and then it begins to eat away at you from the inside doubt it begins to destroy you it begins to bring you down and you're left to deal with the consequences because they're not going to take accountability for that they look at it like if you're stupid enough if you're so foolish to believe that what I'm portraying to you is actually real then you deserve everything you get for being so naive for actually thinking that I could be this person in real life yes that's how they see it that's how they think so in their minds they're fully justified in doing that to you and they've learned from a very young age to look at it like fun having a good time how stupid are you but you don't see that a predator like them can come along and take advantage of you because that's typically how it goes now let's get deeper into this so we can really explore the psychology behind it and what happens and how they manage to deceive you because you've likely been experiencing this most of your life you may have experienced it with an artistic parent and anytime you're having fun they got mad they got envious they had to bring it down they had to take that away from you they probably took your toys away from you for no apparent reason at all and it's because they can't have fun and the reason why they can't it's because something happened to them and their childhood maybe they were having fun they were having a good time and then they experienced something bad something negative something happened to them so now they can't do that anymore their idea of fun is getting went over on you it's taking away your fun your enjoyment of life and in many ways this fun this love that you have in your heart it blinds you you can't see what is happening right in front of your eyes you can't see what they're doing to you because you're vibrating at a higher level a higher frequency so you're unable to perceive the frequencies that are below you and that's how they can come in and take advantage of you and you don't even see it come in you don't even recognize it that's how that happens to you but i do believe that in some ways narcissists may reminisce and miss the ghost of their deads in a child's self that they abandoned a long time ago and they used to have a good time they used to have fun so maybe they do in some ways miss that from you so they look at you as this missing piece of themselves and that's why many times when i own you they want you to be their possession and they idealize you they idealize you they view you as an extension of themselves because maybe they do like that a bit until they realize that they can't be you and your qualities can't be theirs then they go from envying you to being jealous and possessive and controlling trying to trap taming taming can find you to where they do want to let you get away because they don't want to see you moving on and having a good time with someone else when they know fully well that they can't do that they can't trust anyone there's never a time where they could just let themselves go they're always on guard they're always on edge but they realize that it's not like that for you the moment you're not around them that's when you can finally let your hair down you can have a good time and they hate that they hate how it can be like that for you but it can't be like that for them and they already know that it's never going to be that way for them which is another reason why they can't accept that about you so this is what happens at the end after you've dealt with this narcissist and you were led into it because you thought it's going to be fun you're going to have a good time you're going to do all of these things with them and there's not going to be any problems no fights no arguments but then with time you see that that's exactly what it was that's exactly what it is and it's what you're then dealing with every day of your life that you spend with them you then begin to realize the truth that yes this isn't real this is just a facade because if it was real they could sustain it they wouldn't need to go to devalue in you and they wouldn't have to own you and your qualities or at least try to it would be fine just being them separate selves but this is just how it is when you're dealing with narcissists yes they want to own you they want there to be no distinction between you and them no separation to where you can't tell where you end and they begin or where they end and you begin and everything is just enmeshed and I'm not really just talking about fantasy but it's just a way of thinking about it in terms of our qualities and who we actually are it's like you may have worked hard in your life and earned a certain amount of money and they may have as well and yet they would still like it if you put all of your savings on the table and they did and you just mix it together to where there's no separation you can't see what's yours and what's theirs this is both yours even though before the relationship you may have worked hard for your entire life and yet all they've got is just something maybe their parents gave to them they didn't even save it up and yet you did all of the work yeah they would happily like it for that to be enmeshed mixed together to where there's no separation you can't see what's yours and what's theirs because that's a much better situation for them but of course it's not a good situation for you to be enmeshed to where there's no separation that puts you at a disadvantage because then you're taking all all of their garbage all of their problems and you're unsure about what's actually yours things that you have worked for things that you worked hard to achieve so then in many ways you're really losing your sense of self you're losing your identity just by being around them and yet for them they're gaining more of a false sense of self from being around you because when they get around a source of supply they're always acquiring new qualities and traits things that they like and admire things that they think will make them look good in front of other people and that's why I think in the beginning they make it out like it's fun it's a good time it's like yeah let's all just come together let's all just share what we have you give what's yours I give because they get to come around this incredible wonderful person that you are everything that you've worked to be in your life to develop your character your authentic self and you've worked hard all of your life you've got a good job you've got a home you've saved up lots of money so of course yeah that's tons of fun for them when they just crawl out of the hole where they're from and then they enter into your life and you've got all of these things going on things that they can now be a part of but they didn't help you to work towards but of course yeah that sounds like a great time it's a great time for them but as an empath you may also see as though it's a good time for you because it's like it's like this this stray animal that you're taking under your wing you're bringing it into your home a project for you to look after to build up and at first you think okay it's a certain amount of responsibility I can take care of that it's not too bad as time goes by they demand more and more for you it really begins to take you down to the point where you can't even take care of yourself and then it's not fun anymore and they know that if they had revealed that to you from the very beginning you never would have stuck around you never would have got involved with them to begin with because obviously you do the calculations and realize but if I have to take care of them this much to this degree this extent it's only going to be a matter of time until it's all over for me as well which is why it's like the boiling frog syndrome they turn the heat up over time until eventually it just completely burns you out but you never see it coming and then at the end they blame you for everything they make everything your fault even though you were under the impression that this was just a bit of fun you thought okay maybe it's friends with benefits so maybe it was something more serious like a relationship but even then you thought it was going to be fun at the time I mean that's what relationships are supposed to be as well but instead it was just them having fun at your expense taking everything that you've got because they idealized you they recognized this wonderful person all of these things going on in your life these wonderful qualities so they come in and they strip all of that away from you while at the same time they are then devaluing you and making you believe that you're not as great as you actually are and then that creates that cognitive dissonance especially since you're losing all of these things to them you're losing your confidence all of your wonderful qualities are being stripped away from you and yet you don't look at them and what they're doing to you they talk to your family your friends they may be involved in your work they're involved in all of these different things in your life they've created all of these different ties and attachments to where you just can't seem to get away from them and of course that's exactly what they want because yes they recognize they understand that you are a valuable person and they're unlikely to find someone else like you ever again in their lives of course they want to hold on to you of course they don't want to let you go they don't want you to be going anywhere but at the end it's like if you got to go if you really want to move on then you can move on in the way that I want you to but everything that you have stripped away from you where you're nothing but a shell of yourself yes that's exactly what they want for you they want you to just go down in life where you may have come in as this person who was full of energy full of life enthusiasm you had so much to look forward to in your future you had so many things going on so many things to be happy about all of these dreams goals and ambitions they come in and they realize they can't be you they're called your qualities can't be theirs they're never going to be anything like you they're never going to be on that level so then they want to take you down and turn you from that happy energetic enthusiastic person and turn you into a miserable wreck who hates their life feels the sense of hopelessness and helplessness you've just given up because then it's like yeah now you know exactly how it feels now you know exactly what I had to go through my entire life is how they see it because yes that's exactly how it is for them imagine living a life with no enthusiasm no love in your heart no hope no faith no belief in anything including yourself imagine living a life like that imagine that for a moment and then you will begin to understand the mind of a narcissist where they've just completely given up on everything so it's like all they can do is pull you down with them as the crabs in the bucket they see you raising up in life you're raising up towards the clouds towards the heavens you're feeling good about yourself you've got so much hope and belief so much enthusiasm for the future yeah they see you raising up and that's like this crabs in the bucket mentality to where they just want to reach up their hands and pull you down but as I said in a previous video one of my earliest videos it's like a child building a sand castle on the beach and they take all of this time to build it with their bucket and spade until it's finally built the stone is finished and then some other child sees it they get so jealous they feel sort of overwhelmed it's like how am I supposed to build a sand castle like that with this bucket and spade or maybe they don't even have a bucket and spade they don't even have the tools to build it so then they come over to that child sand castle and then they just go and they kick it down they knock it over they destroy it and then they laugh and they walk away they make it feel like it's all your fault and then you managed to find that strength and courage again to rebuild that sand castle and in fact this time you're like okay they took it down but this time I'm going to make it better than before I'm not going to let them destroy my belief in my own abilities so then you go and you build that sand castle and maybe this time it's like a sand palace it's the most greatest beautiful sand palace and manageable and then the narcissist comes along again and they just kick it down they destroy it or they may come and take credit for your success and tell everyone no this is my creation I built that they're either going to destroy it or try and take credit for it trying to get ownership of it because they don't want anything to be yours that is the problem that's how they go from idealizing to devaluing you because they can't be you and your qualities can't be theirs just think about it like this they're so arrogant so delusional if they really thought that they were greater than you if they really thought that their qualities were better than yours you really think they would even notice you you really think they would give a damn about that of course not the problem is that your qualities are greater get just so much more of a wonderful likable person people want you people like you but some people get very envious and jealous of you because they want to own you they want you all for themselves that's really what it comes down to and they look at their like and their minds this is so unfair how do you get to move around this world with this brain this intelligence and they really think deep about this even though you may not know it in their minds they're constantly overthinking over analyzing about it and they feel completely inadequate and comparison to you it's like so you get to go around this world with this brain this intelligence this imagination this creative thinking ability this charm this charisma this ability to be likable and attractive to where people want to be around you and the opposite sex are drawn to you and you can flirt with them effortlessly or you don't even have to do that they just automatically they want to be around you you don't even have to say anything and then on top of that it's like your physical attractiveness it may be your body as well especially if it's a somatic narcissist and then it's all the hard work that you put in your motivation your discipline your devotion all of these wonderful qualities that you possess and you put in the work but it's like you enjoy it at the same time it's so easy for you they look at you and it's like life life is so easy for you and then their minds it's like life is so hard for me and it's so overwhelming how you're like the full package you've got all together this is actually how they think I mean I do remember this the situation that happened this was about maybe 15 years ago in England near to where I'm from it was on the Jeremy Cowell show I don't know if many of you have watched that it's quite a famous show in the UK anyway there were these two girls these these these black Londoner girls and they were like best friends one of the girls was very beautiful she had such a nice face and all the boys wanted her they were really attracted to her and her best friend was secretly very jealous of her because she wasn't as attractive so then what she did was she she put on this burger it's like this cloak that Muslim people wear and it was something like when she was walking home from work her best friend she wore this burger and she was stalking her she creeped up behind her and it's like something where she turned around and she threw all of this acid over her face that's so jealous she was and it was so bad that even after all the treatment that girl's face is never going to be the same again and her friends I believe she went to prison for life for that I don't know if she's out now I mean it's been about 15 years but yeah this is the results of the jealousy and I spoke about this case in a previous video before I can't remember which one but it's something that really stuck in my mind I mean for me it's more I think it's because of my empathy it's like okay so other people exist and they're more physically attractive than you are I mean that's relative anyway different people have different types but you know that's how it is in the narcissist mind because they view people as extensions of themselves so it's like you're a better version of them than they are and it's like so you've come into this world you get to move about the earth being more attractive than I am and then you've got these qualities the intelligence the charisma the charm all of these things that are attractive and desirable and they make you important in this world it's like the social status the image you know which they're all about the full package everything combines and it's so overwhelming for them because they always want more and of course yes there's some narcissists who are incredibly attractive physically they've got tons of money there could be millionaires they can have everything and yet because of their ego it's still not enough to fill that void the ego always wants more so yes there could be narcissists who have nothing or they could be very jealous of you but then at the same time there's also narcissists who have everything and they're jealous of people who have less because although you may have less you can enjoy it more you get more fulfillment than they do they're always comparing themselves to other people they're always on social media scrolling and looking at what everyone else has got and they're never happy it's never enough I've asked really a big part of the problem I mean you've got to look at it like this even you or I if we were constantly comparing ourselves to other people every day like if all you do is you just scroll through your Instagram your Twitter you're looking at everybody's life you see it all right this guy just bought a new jet a new Bugatti this girl's a model she's got all of these all these guys after her I don't know if you're just looking at this all the time on your Instagram your Twitter of course that's going to affect your happiness at some point because you're not doing anything in your own life you're not making your life better you're just tuning into someone else's life all of the time and life is not meant to be lived that way you're meant to be focused on yourself and it could be that way even if you have more even if you do I mean as I know there are quite a number of my viewers and clients who are multi-millionaires and they have a lot of things going on for gay even if people have more just by tuning into other people's lives and you're constantly seeing what they're doing you're witnessing their happiness and you're not doing anything with your own of course that's going to make you miserable as well but this isn't what we tend to do as victims as empaths we are more self-focused on what we're doing in our own lives not comparing ourselves to everyone else that's what narcissistic people do because they're self-absorbed it's all about their image and their image is relative to everyone else's they use other people as a reference point so this is a part of why they're so miserable it's why they can never be happy and that's why you'll notice it's typically what they do with you again when they blame you for everything maybe you wonder what happened you were left with no closure you go on to their social media whoop there they are flown to their new source living their best lives as they portrayed to be they've got to put that on to you and you should know whatever they're putting on to you that's what they're experiencing for themselves when they're looking at you yes you would be surprised how these narcissists see you because it's very different to how they portray it to you they make a look like you're worthless you're garbage you ain't worth shit that's who they make it seem to you but they actually see you very differently you've got to think about it like this how can you devalue someone if they have no value how can you take anything away if there's nothing there you can't so this is how you should know the guests they align to you they actually see you in a very different way to how you may think so of course and again it's like yeah of course I'm going to blame this person I can't just let this person move on and be happy and not have any worries about anything and just live their lives and it's like while they are still miserable and they can't enjoy anything in their lives of course they're not going to want to see that of course they're not going to want that to happen but this is just how it goes when at the end it's time to part ways it's like you've taken all that you can take you can't take any more you just can't deal with them the fights the arguments are there at the same time they're like pretending when you go out nothing's wrong or they're blaming you for everything that's false image I mean that's really the worst part it's like how can you have the nerve to act like there's no problem when you're doing all of these things to me I mean that's really the crazy part about it they're really that delusional and they had to be that way to protect themselves because they kind of tuned into the false images of other people as well and it's often just a bunch of narcissists who are all fooling each other making everyone think oh yeah I've got this good life all of these things are going on for me when in reality their lives are in shambles they're miserable but they present this false image unless of course with COVID narcissists they like to play the victim as well they're always going to blame you at the end what else can they do when you're involved with a narcissist I mean let's just talk about what a narcissist is they're self absorbed they lack empathy they can be grandiose at times they've got the strong sense of entitlement I mean just these traits alone it's a recipe for disaster of course things are not going to end well because they got to take everything from you and there's no reciprocation there's no equal exchange of value they're getting all of their value from you and of course they have no innocent of value of their own so of course things are going to go bad and yeah of course because they're arrogant they're entitled to grandiose to have this exaggerated sense of ability is important and also because they don't like taking accountability they don't want to be better they don't want to grow or change because of all of these things of course they're going to blame you because they're not going to take accountability they don't want to change they don't want to grow they don't want to be better they just want to pass it off on to you so that they can run off and do the same thing to someone else all over again because maybe they got something out of you they got what they wanted so now they want to try that again with someone else but here's the thing they're not going to find another empath they're not going to find someone else like you their gray day source of supply they run off sometimes and they're like even narcissists can be so gullible and naive they can get tricked so easily by other narcissists as well and to believe in things that aren't even true thinking that they're getting into something where someone's going to help them take care of them and then they soon realize that they're caught up in something and someone is taking advantage of them while thinking that they had found another empath another gray day source of supply and yet because of their image and after leaving you they want to set it up to make it look like that's not what it is as though things are actually okay but really they're dying inside they're miserable and yet they have to put on this act they have to pretend for you to make it seem to you that you are still the problem so that then that reflects back to them they get supply and they can still feel a little bit better about themselves and maybe continue to live in this delusion with someone who is just tricking and exploiting them someone who is actually no good for them i'm seeing 183 live viewers and only 16 thumbs ups if you're finding this information helpful so far please hit that thumbs up button down below to show your support it will help the youtube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors empaths and chosen ones around the world this is just the reality of dealing with these narcissists this is just how things go with them they come in like yeah it's going to be so much fun it's all of this excitement they're the life of the party they're going to have such a great time with them and then you soon realize that's not who they actually are they know that's what you're like they know that's what you want but they're not that at all they're just using that to trick you because they know that's what you like they know that's what you're about but they're not about that at all they reflect your own qualities and virtues back to you they idealize you and they see it like yeah this person is attractive they're desirable i could use some of that i could just take these qualities and traits and use them to trick someone else this concoction these bits and pieces that i can use to reconstruct my false character to attract a new source of supply because yes they're always seeking supply but also it's very frustrating for them because they realize they can't be you and your qualities can't be theirs they can only fake it they can only pretend it's never actually going to be real like it is with you so of course that frustrates them it irritates them and then that's why they get so mad at you and they want to destroy you they want to take you down take you out and in the end it's like they want to finish you once and for all but yeah this is just how it goes this is the reality when you're dealing with these narcissists i'm just here at the mall today came here and got something to eat had some bubble tea you know how i do yeah i'm just having a good time exploring the worlds meeting new people just doing different things and of course working researching every day to bring you this information and making these videos doing what i need to do following my purpose but at the same time trying to find happiness and fulfillment and just living my best life because i believe that that is what i came here to do so of course if you know you know you know that that's what i came here to do and of course i'm going to continue to do that i'm going to continue to do that of course and i want that for you too this is what we should all be doing this is our mission in life together even though yeah we may not be together physically right now but still we have this collective this energy we all need to be following our mission our purpose together well we are studying this information because i do believe that yeah if you were a victim of a narcissist i believe that we all have a duty a responsibility to make people aware of this as well and yet at the same time we also have the duty to live our best lives because it's like just because we've been hurt just because you've been abused no matter what type of abuse that may have been for you just because you've been through that it doesn't mean that it has to be all over for you it doesn't mean that you have to throw in the towel it doesn't mean that you have to give up on your life it doesn't mean that you have to give up everything just because of what happened to you and that's why i stand here as a model that is what i represent i am a survivor i survived the abuse i survived everything that was done to me all of the pain that they put me through yes i survived all of that everything that i went through in my childhood everything that i went through throughout my teens throughout my 20s and now i stand here as a 35 year old man today and yes i can say today i triumphed over that i didn't let it change me i didn't let it destroy me instead i've used my pain to become greater and i believe that that is what we are supposed to do that is who we are supposed to be it's not something where you just sit alone in your home and i don't know you watch these types of movies about breakups and romance you listen to these types of songs i mean you can do that as well there's nothing wrong with that that's cool but also you've got to move forward as well use it to motivate you to continue on your path to purpose to become better and greater and to come at an inspiration to other people who have experienced this abuse because that's what they don't want you to do they want everyone to be miserable to be hopeless just like them to feel like things can never get better for you you to believe that this is as good as it gets and that's why i decided to name this channel knock survivor because that's who i am that's what i'm about that's what i like i survived i got through it all and i became the person that you see today this person that inspires millions of people around the world i believe that is our duty our responsibility to spread this awareness together and to be the greatest version of ourselves despite what we went through don't let the abuse define you you don't have to be a victim forever you can be a survivor anyway that's all i've got to say for this message today but i'm quite disappointed to see that there's only 27 thumbs ups and we've had hundreds of viewers in this live video so please show your support hit that thumbs up button down below i appreciate it let me know what you thought about what i said in the comment section reach your comment every day and if you would like to donate you can leave a super chat the live chat a super thanks in the comment section or you can go to my paypal it is paypal.me slash knock survivor and if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me you can go to my website it is knocksurvivor.co.uk and also you can follow me on instagram where i have new pictures and videos of my travels which i upload every day on there my instagram is knock survivor youtube you can also send me a dm and i will respond all right thank you for joining me on another knock survivor live video i do appreciate you all and as always i look forward to speaking with you in another live video