 So, dear friends, good evening, dear friends. Hello, dear friends, dear friends. Good evening, dear friends. Thank you so much for being here tonight. We would like to invite all of you to please be seated. We can sit beautifully and comfortably. We can have a gentle smile on our face as we look around the room. We are all related to one another because we all know Sherry. Before we start the service, we would like to invite all of us to have some moments of silence. And this is something that Sherry, she loves to do. And tonight, we have the opportunity to breathe for Sherry, to be present for Sherry. So, let us sit beautifully with our back upright. We can relax our body. And we bring our minds back to the present moment. Enjoy the silence in the room. Be fully present with our in-breath and our out-breath. And I would like to invite three sounds of the bell. Breathing in. I am aware of my in-breath. I am aware of my out-breath. I am aware of in-breath. I follow my in-breath from the beginning to the end. Breathing out. I follow my out-breath from the beginning to the end. No need to think in following my in-breath. Breathing in. I am aware of my whole body. Breathing out. I relax my whole body of body. Relaxing my whole body. Breathing in. I enjoy the present moment. Breathing out. I know this is a happy moment. Present moment. Happy moment. Dear beloved friends, thank you for your beautiful practice. Thank you so much again for being here tonight to celebrate the life for Sherry Maples. Dear friends, good evening. The peace and the joy which we can feel in our togetherness at this moment is also peace and joy felt by Sherry. Sherry's peace and joy is also our peace and joy in this present moment. And so the most wonderful thing that we can do while we sit here or at any time is to come back, bring our body and our mind together and feel the peace and the joy that are available to each one of us from within. If we contemplate, if we look deeply, we see that Sherry is so much, much more than her physical body. She has never been caught in her physical body. We can feel now that she is life without limit. And if we look deeply, we can see she has not been born and she has never died. She is here in each one of us. She is here especially in her blood relations. But we also have our spiritual family and she is here in each one of her spiritual family. So we can say that she has never been born and she has never died. She was there in her spiritual ancestors and there in her blood ancestors from beginningless time and during her life and still now we can say that she is free. Let us contemplate the deep, wide ocean. Let us contemplate the sky immense, measureless with all its galaxies and we know that the deep ocean the wide sky are available in our consciousness and they are there for Sherry also and in that width and in that space we and Sherry have always been free. Let us feel this freedom in the present moment our adore through which Sherry goes in and goes out through which each one of us goes in and out. Birth and death are a game of hide and seek. We look deeply and when we look deeply we can find our loved one. So let us smile with Sherry let us smile to Sherry in this present moment. Let us hold her hand and let us wave goodbye to a certain manifestation we are used to but as we wave goodbye to that manifestation we know that we shall meet again very soon to another manifestation. We know that we shall always be meeting again at the true source. We shall meet in any moment on the millions of walks of life. My name is Mary Bennett and I've been friends with Sherry since the early mid-seventies when we worked with Dane County advocates for battered women and it is my distinct pleasure to welcome each and every one of you to this service tonight to honor Sherry, our dear friend. We're so extremely honored to have sister Bixuni True Virtue and sister Boine M also translating to sister True Pearl and they are from Tietnohans Monastery in Plum Village, France and also work in other places of the world in the United States and in Germany and so it's with extreme kindness and a wonderful donor that made it possible for them to come join us this evening and add their amazing contribution to this service so thank you so, so very much. All of us are here tonight because Sherry Maples somehow touched our lives, right? And as you know Sherry had many, many different parts of her, right? And so some of us are family and much of the family is here in the front some is friends some is new friends some is old friends some is police officers which was such an important part of Sherry's life and history some of us are here as fellow advocates in social justice and as Sherry did stand up against violence against women or fighting for racial equity LGBTQ rights community safety restorative justice or engaged Buddhism are ever so important many of us are here tonight as part of the AA community or many are here as fellow sports fans, right? Go Packers, Badgers and of course the Brewers or some of you maybe shared her love and played softball with her or did biking or boogie boarding or sailing all which she loved or maybe some of us are here as Buddhists or mindfulness teachers or as mentors or as mentees or as co-practitioners or some of us are here and join the circle of Sherry Maples after her accident and her people who helped care for her after her very, very serious accident and for the ten and a half months of her life where the caring bridge had I think over 10,000 visits and some people are with us via live stream so there are people actually in the circle with us right now from all over the world. There are others of you that are here who have contributed generously made contributions as we really didn't know what Sherry's situation was going to be or what needs she would have to really support her so some people contributed so generously and some people here maybe never met Sherry at all but possibly heard her talk or heard of her life or heard of her tragic accident and were so moved at her valiant effort to heal from her injuries and in the end when her injuries and the infections really took over her body were inspired by her ability to let go and be at peace so especially in the last year Sherry gave us this amazing opportunity to get outside of ourselves I personally know so many people that I worked with I know who never met Sherry but heard of her story and were so moved and they said I don't even know Sherry and I wake up with her in the morning thinking of her so she gave so many of us the opportunity to think of someone else so tonight we have the opportunity to celebrate her life grieve the loss of our dear friend as our sisters have just told us to really feel the joy of the continuation of her presence and possibly also gain insight into how to transform this loss into fuel for deeper understanding and to experience the connectivity of this moment of this amazing circle of people Sherry really brought us together in her life and in this very moment so as you may have seen in the program you will have the opportunity to honor Sherry's legacy and in the program you'll see that we selected four organizations that were really dear to Sherry's heart to give people the opportunity when you leave tonight not only if you're so moved no pressure whatsoever but it was a way that Sherry can continue the love of her work and the passion for her work and that will be divided among the four organizations so feel free to take advantage of this opportunity I want to thank everyone who helped make this wonderful service possible our speakers the parking lot angels the ushers the refreshment angels so many people contributed to this and their names are in the program but also it would be pages more if we listed all the amazing people that really helped particularly in the last year and you know who you are and it's just too many to list in terms of people that supported and cared for Sherry I also want to say at the conclusion of the service hoping that because everyone has stories here right and so that the stories can continue as you just enjoy the refreshments and the slideshow will come back on for those of you who maybe didn't get to see the wonderful slideshow so with that please feel welcomed and I invite the boys to come up good evening thank you all for being here my name is Isaac Nadeau one of Sherry's three stepchildren along with her two sons over the last ten and a half months of her life Sherry went through a lot of suffering there were times when she wondered and when those around her wondered whether it would have been a mercy had she died the day of the accident but she survived and because of the sustained and selfless outpouring of love and appreciation from people and a couple of dogs from all parts of her life Sherry got to leave this world knowing beyond a doubt that she had helped change it for the better on behalf of Sherry's family I would like to thank all of the people who were there for Sherry in ways great and small to support her and to give her this incredible gift there were waves of people waiting in the wings some of whom humbly stepped back and waited to find out how they could be helpful and I want to single out eight of you in particular forgive me for doing this Mary Bennett Maureen Brady Nancy Dungan Eileen Harrington Amy Crone Julia Vance Anne Whalen Anne Marie Zimmerman many many others participated and continued tonight to be part of this parade of loving kindness that made Sherry's suffering worthwhile and we humbly thank you Sherry's love of sports is well known second only to good sportsmanship Sherry valued hustle of all other virtues in sports she cheered the loudest for the hustle plays running out of ground or chasing down a fly ball as kids she made sure that we didn't walk off the field between innings but that we hustled off of course this ethos carried over into life and Sherry exemplified the idea that regardless of where we start with hustle and with dedicated practice we can make ourselves into the people we want to be that we are works in progress with equal emphasis on both work and progress I'll close on a personal note I miss Sherry the person I most want to grieve with and remember with right now is Sherry herself I would like to put my forehead to her forehead one more time and tell her that I grieve for all the moments we will not have and also that I and her other children are eternally grateful for her presence in our lives Hey everybody I'm Sherry's son Micah thank you Isaac thank you everyone who started off and thank you everyone for coming as well like Isaac said it was hard to know what I was going to say up here in a few minutes knowing my mom and her life but I guess I'd talk a little about our relationship and Sherry's a woman who as many of us know came from very little overcame a lot and did a lot for herself and people around her and her family and myself and as a child whether we were happy whether we were sad or whether we were somewhere in the middle me and my mom I think loved each other just the same and we were there for each other just the same I always knew I could call my mom whether just to say hello whether I was in trouble or whether I was proud of myself for her and that was special she was my hero she was many people's heroes I think and I got to tell her that before she died because she fought till the end and she was a soldier and there was never a time I couldn't rely on her I'm going to miss her too Isaac I guess the other thing I'd say is that I do feel that my mom still is alive you don't think of things that you learn always facts you learn like the matter that composes our physical bodies is 11 billion years old you know it wasn't created when we were born when our physical body starts here and it stays here and it's been here and I do feel like my mom lives through me and if she could hear me I guess what I'd say is I'm going to try to make you proud and before you passed you told me you were proud of me and I want to continue to do your work and spread love and kindness and justice to the world the main thing my mom believed in for everybody no matter who you are so thank you and I love you all for coming and thank you mom for being my mom good evening everyone I'm Sherry's friend Linda Jones from Minneapolis Sherry is my most dear beloved one of a kind soulmate sister best friend in the world for 40 plus years I trust Sherry, the teacher would not mind if I share parts of a letter I wrote to her recently after her death my dearest bud I clearly remember when we met over 40 years ago at the University of Wisconsin School of Social Work we've done a lot of life together which means a lot of joy sorrow suffering laughter tears and play the stuff of life forever captured in thousands of memories most recently including the big accident and a profoundly spiritual last year I am so grateful we shared a spiritual practice over the years I loved watching you soften as you would say from being a tough guarded social justice activist in the young violence against women's movement and then as a police officer to becoming an increasingly gifted Dharma teacher caring and living the message of mindfulness peace and compassion you always work very hard pushing against conventional ways of thinking using your keen analytical mind you love deeply you played very hard and fast and live fully even during the times of deep darkness and sorrow this adds up in my view to a full and authentic life very well lived I miss you every day bud my heart has never been more broken but every time that crater in my heart opens I pour in a few of those thousands of joyful memories with you and it heals a bit more I will always miss our late night talks watching basketball together over the phone and trips we planned but never got to make as you pushed me to retire forcefully reminding me bud these are precious years trust me bud I got that message I am so so sorry that you had to experience this past year and honestly I sometimes grapple with its purpose I do know I will forever be profoundly changed by being on this journey with you as I continue to absorb the lessons you taught us I never heard you question why this accident happened to you I did hear you say over and over thank God for the practice I saw you work extremely hard and not a surprise and make tremendous progress with your very broken physical body what was not broken was your spirit your practice and a large portion of equanimity much of the time I know there were also times of great discouragement, frustration and even some despair but you kept at it and fundamentally held out hope for an acceptance of a different good life doing the things you love to do bud I am so grateful for my last visits in late June and early July when we had the opportunity to have some long, deep looking ahead conversations about the end of this life I felt you make a turn not to despair but to a greater understanding of the old and new challenges that your complicated injuries continued to present that clear-minded reflection took courage you told me you had done all that was asked of you and sometimes the horizon didn't look too bright we shed some tears that day and you also, laughingly, assured me that you did after all believe in impermanence and new things would change you were accepting whatever course your life was taking and you were telling me it would be okay and you wanted me to accept and embrace that I am the very most thankful for the very late night two-hour conversation we had several weeks later when you were in the hospital a few days before you transitioned on you told me you were not afraid to die that you had lived a full life and that whatever happened you didn't want any heroic measures taken you also told me that if you weren't able to do even half of what you loved particularly teaching and traveling you weren't sure you saw the point to me you were clear and solid even with an air of serenity thankfully our practice of deep listening and simply being present enveloped me that night I told you that I truly understood that I would support you in whatever choices you made and that I would always be by your side no matter what you deeply thanked me for that after a long talk about other things we said we loved each other said we would talk again soon and finally said good night I wish we had never hung up but it was time to go as soon as you were physically gone from us a few days later I started having a video play over and over in my head it has replayed about 200 times now and I think you would love it you roar up to the softball field on your way too big blue motorcycle you run onto the field and immediately go up to bat you hit the ball into the outfield and run as hard as you can around the bases with your short legs pumping you are almost thrown out at each base but you make it past third and then you slide into home safe then as you pop up at the end of your slide into home you land on a beautiful sailboat and sail off into the sun with the wind until you're out of sight so my most dear beloved one of a kind soulmate sister best friend in the world for 40 plus years keep sailing on and I know you will always be my side as I continue to let you go good evening everyone my name is Sharon Shelton and Sherry was one of my dearest friends as well as my teacher I am deeply grateful for the invitation to share a few words that might capture just a tiny glimpse of the impact that Sherry had and continues to have on my life I met Sherry several years ago and she offered a meditation retreat in North Carolina and when I first saw Sherry that first day of retreat I didn't know much about her except what I read on the flyer but it was as if I recognized her from some place really deep during my one-on-one session with her at the retreat I started crying as soon as I sat down with her there was an immediate connection and I had never felt that before as I was crying I said you are my teacher Sherry's response she just smiled with that twinkle in her eyes let's see where this goes over the years Sherry became more than my teacher she became one of my closest friends she trusted me with her heart and I trusted her with mine she literally became part of the fabric of my life as I was preparing to talk today I tried to recall our conversations and what I had learned from her how do I boil that down and three things came to mind that reflect the nature of my relationship with Sherry and what she taught me simply by just living her life and sharing it with me one was be courageous two was be confident and three was save her life Sherry was truly one of the most courageous people I have ever met and I know some courageous folks I listened to her recall the enormous difficulties she faced growing up and yet despite that or maybe because of it she became a fierce advocate for compassion, justice and equality working unselfishly to reduce the suffering of others I remember how she suffered the devastating heartbreak of the ending of a relationship and yet she found her way back to an even more tender space in her heart I watched after her accident as she worked with inconceivable feelings of vulnerability relying heavily on her practice and letting in maybe for the first time actually the immensity, the depth of the love that we all have for her yes she was at times weary of the new normal of dependency and yet she never collapsed into weariness she just made working with those intense feelings of vulnerability part of her practice whenever I get weary overwhelmed by the suffering of my own suffering and the suffering of others and finding it really hard to access my own courage and keep practicing I tap into the well of Sherry's courage and I breathe I love I practice and I keep my feet moving so be courageous just about any time I talk to Sherry she would remind me in one way or another to have a profound trust in my ability to meet any moment as my true self that my essence underneath all these identities and all these stories can meet and hold any experience any pain any disappointment any joy any feeling she taught me to cultivate more than just fleeting feelings of self-confidence she reminded me constantly of the truth of who I really am and that it is inherently beautiful universal its love itself I remember a conversation with Sherry years ago when I was talking about my role as a teacher my reluctance to lean into what was emerging and she reminded me that there was nothing for me to do no idea of a teacher I needed to live up to no exhaustive study to perfect she invited me to simply understand and trust the Dharma to be sincere and authentic with a commitment to practice and serve with love, compassion and wisdom and when I'm unskillful to be tender and gentle and spacious with my practice that any experience especially the really difficult ones can be used to deepen my practice cultivate skillful means soften into love and work for the benefit of all beings as best I can be confident one of the many things I love about Sherry in addition to that twinkle in her eye when she smiled is her appreciation for life itself last year my wife and I convinced Sherry to stay on for an extra couple days at the beach after she married us and we gave her a boogie board so Shell and I were sitting on the balcony the morning after our wedding and we noticed often the distance what looked like a 15 year old boy in a ball cap with long beach shorts walking down the boardwalk to the beach that was Sherry she loved to boogie board she loved her motorcycle I had never heard of pickleball but she loved pickleball sailing, biking, she loved Motown the brewers, the packers she loved time with her friends Sherry's savored life so yes Sherry devoted her life to compassion, peace and equal access to justice for all especially those struggling with an unjust systems sexual inequities and she enjoyed life fully even more so I think in the period leading up to her accident I learned from Sherry that life is a gift to be appreciated and fully lived and that serving others from that savoring that fullness breeds resilience, joyfulness and open-heartedness savor life serve others I got to love Sherry I got to be in her light I got to practice with her I got to grow and learn from her how do I express my profound gratitude for that gift by being courageous by being confident and by savoring life while I serve others deep bow of loving gratitude for this moment for Sherry's life and for the opportunity to be part of this beautiful community thank you and she paused to be able to I mean she said, does he? we had just heard the arrangement you sing that for me? I said, no I said, okay like these and I said, I just want you to have them and she said, Sunday and I said, okay Sunday so I'm going to go on with the Mad Hatterts we're looking for Mad Hatterts to go perform the Mad Hatterts there was a secret corp that did play and he's a lord but you know Sherry as a Dharma teacher in Plum Village we have many Dharma teachers monks, nuns laymen and laywomen and I feel very honored to be to be a Dharma teacher in the same ranks as Sherry I remember her teaching in Plum Village in June 2016 when she talked about how in the midst of her life of service as striving for social justice she was able to touch the ultimate dimension the dimension beyond our usual ideas of time and space I was even more moved when I heard the talk that Sherry gave in 2017 in February all of us in our life we are very lucky if we are able to have what is called a breakthrough a breakthrough means an enlightenment and we see something deeply we haven't seen before and that enlightenment is something that we can offer to the world and I'm so grateful to Sherry that she offered that breakthrough to us in those short few minutes that she spoke in February and that breakthrough was about suffering and about happiness and as a tribute to Sherry I want to I want to carry that teaching through into my own life and it was difficult for her to express that she had because this very deep experiences that we are privileged as human beings sometimes to touch are very difficult to express in words but she said something like on the one hand there is suffering and that if you are a Buddhist you know that is the breakthrough concerning the first noble truth that the Buddha realized at the foot of the Bodhi tree but the Buddha always said that everyone is a Buddha everyone has the ability to realize the noble truth the truth, yes there is suffering but on the other hand there is something else that is not suffering that we call happiness and somehow the happiness we call the third noble truth and there is a link between the suffering and the happiness and that is when we know how to handle the suffering when we can manage the suffering we can touch the happiness that is there and I am so grateful for Sherry when she was going through that difficult time that she was able to touch happiness and we know that that nature of that happiness was very very deep because it was the very deep suffering that helped her to recognize that happiness so sometimes in our life when we have to go through difficult moments and we ask ourselves is it worth it if out of those difficult moments then we can touch the suffering we can face the suffering and we can handle it so that we recognize the ultimate the very deep happiness then those difficult moments are worth it they are not a waste of time they are not a loss also she said with a smile that what this had taught her was impermanence as Buddhist we can talk a lot about impermanence we can give a very good Dharma talk about impermanence but in fact we don't live impermanence we just talk about it we recognize intellectually but Sherry lived impermanence and I want to I want to take that teaching into my life I want to be able to live impermanence and that means that I can live life more deeply because I know how precious every moment is and I also know how precious my loved ones are and so I don't say oh my dear one you'll always be there but I don't know how long you will be there and so this moment that I have you is a very together with me is a very happy moment and I want to learn to be able to say things like dear child dear sister I'm so lucky to have someone as kind as gentle as you in my life this for me is a very happy moment I want to have time for for my loved ones I don't want to think that my work that my thesis that my promotion is more important than my relationship to my loved one because I don't know how long I will be there and I don't know how long you will be there in the historical dimension so when I am angry with my loved ones I don't want to hold on to my anger for too long I want to be able to look deeply and say dear one in 200 years time where will you be and where shall I be and when I look deeply to see where we will both be in 200 years time I recognize that I don't want to waste my life getting angry with you I want to take you in my arms and enjoy the moment that we are privileged to have with each other because although impermanence sometimes see as something negative as something that leads to separation and suffering impermanence is also something very positive if we can take up impermanence and we can see that it really is something real and then we can live each moment of our life deeply and the last thing I want to learn from that down at all is the calligraphy that Sherry mentioned I have arrived I am home and Sherry said I don't really have a home all my things are in storage but looking deeply rather like in the gospel as the bird has its nest the son of man doesn't have somewhere to lay down but doesn't have a home but that is an opportunity for us to be able to look deeply and to ask where is my true home and my true home is our beautiful planet and Sherry wanted to take good care of our planet because she saw that it is her true home and I want to do that too I want to recognize that my home isn't a particular place a particular house but my home is always there under my feet and I want to walk on my home wherever it is in the United States in Asia with love and care just as when I saw Sherry walk she could do that also and the last thing that I I want to learn from this Dharma talk is letting go and letting go in order to be able to love deeply sometimes our love has a little bit too much attachment in it attachment to material comfort sometimes and attachment to emotional comfort but when we really have faced suffering when we really have faced impermanence then we can be in touch with the kind of love that has letting go in it and we call that kind of love is the fourth of the four Brahma, Viharas the fourth of the four immeasurable minds and we call that kind of love inclusiveness or equanimity and it means that I want my heart to open so that it can include more and more people more and more animals plants and minerals every every day so I'm very grateful to Sherry for being such a wonderful Dharma teacher and I'm very proud that she was also a child of my own teacher Thich Nhat Hanh who with his own hand before he had a stroke which has made it impossible for him to make more he made this calligraphy which is behind us and peace in oneself peace in the world and this is what Sherry called herself a peace officer and what she realized was peace in herself so that when she did peace work, when she did social work she could also bring that peace into the world because I know that if I want to do good social work I need to have enough peace in my own heart so we hope this evening to be able to hand this calligraphy over to Sherry's blood descendants so that they can every time they look at it they can remember what a wonderful officer Sherry was good evening my name is Dave Haskin and we celebrate Sherry's life tonight even though I think we all miss her so incredibly much I know I do I can't tell you how many times since her passing something has come up and I thought oh I should text Sherry about that and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had that experience maybe I should give her a call in addition to celebrating her life and how she lived it which was truly truly extraordinary as so many of you know I'd like to talk about some specific gifts that she gave me and gave to so many people probably everyone in this room in my particular case these gifts began when we started becoming friends in the 1990s and we shared with many others the joyful task of helping our wonderful snow flower buddhasanga become stronger and more vibrant as we came to teach with each other in the last seven or eight years as we went off just to sit retreats with each other and as we would go to retreat we would usually fly out to a retreat center in Massachusetts and we'd have all that time just to catch up to share our sorrows and some of those times I remember so much more clearly than the retreat itself we talked and talked and did with her and sometimes we argued particularly about sports it won't surprise anybody in this room to hear I never once won one of those arguments we took care of each other's dogs and when we were able we just hung out not nearly as often as I would have liked and I'd like to focus on one particular gift that she was so incredibly generous with a gift that I saw evolve in her over the years and that was the gift of the quality of her presence our teacher Thich Nhat Hanh often says that our presence is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others in this context presence refers not just to our physical presence but the quality of our attention our full loving, compassionate presence and Sherry was so fully present in precisely this way she listened deeply I want to say as I spoke but I think maybe most if not all of us experienced this with her she listened so deeply and she spoke mindfully with compassion even if there was disagreement and that was such a delightful feeling to be with her when she was present that way we all know what it's like when we're with somebody physically but they're not present they're thinking of the next thing they want to say or they're looking at their watch it's a gift that she developed in herself over the years I'm hardly the only one as I mentioned who has received this gift the day after she died Snowflower Sangha held a memorial service and about 90 people showed up and I thought if I spoke the phrase I would use to describe our relationship was one that I've already heard tonight many many times she was my dear friend and I realized that given the quality of her presence to each of us that most of the 90 people who were there that night would have said the same thing she was my dear friend and it's a testament to the quality of her presence that we would all be right and that was really much the essence of who Shuri was she gave us the gift of her full warm presence and she gave it freely and I saw this not only in the context of our friendship but also in the context of Sangha where she was always so available for counsel and caring and I saw it when we were teaching together somebody would ask a question and she would really take it in perhaps some of you were on retreat with Shuri and you know that to be true she would take it in and then answer from her heart and answer was such kindness and compassion and this presence really was such a gift but it was as we know not the only gift that she gave so freely is I think we all know an unerring sense of right action of compassionate action in a very clear unwavering yet very practical sense of justice and how to achieve a compassionately by building bridges not by tearing them down another gift she gave was her constant unwavering desire to learn to grow in the practice of the teachings we both held so dear as her friend I saw over and over and over again how she took criticism without defensiveness without making it personal without making it about her and some other being some other and she always asked herself even when it was painful sometimes was painful what's the kernel of truth here what's the kernel of truth I can learn from our relationship wasn't based on my being her student but on friendship on colleague ship but that hardly hardly means that she didn't teach me her example the way she lived her life was a deep and profound teaching for me and for so many other people she lived what Gandhi advised us to do to be the change she wished to see in the world she was very imperfect but boy she was becoming more and more perfect so quickly it was amazing it was awesome to see in watching how Sherry lived in this way was perhaps the greatest of the many gifts she gave me she gave us all and in our practice that is how one person can continue even after their body is gone this is certainly how she continues in me the word courage was used and it takes courage to live that way to live in a way in which we're fully present even to things we don't want to be present to so it's a combination of courage of presence just for starters so so so much more that will continue in me and we can all look into ourselves and say what will continue of Sherry in me she will continue and that will reside in us and we will pass that along and the people we pass it along to will pass it along so yes she doesn't need her body anymore to live on in all of us but damn I miss her good evening my name is Law Sarmiento and I'm a teacher and event manager with the insight and communication community of Washington DC and I carry in my heart Tara Brock a dear friend of Sherry's and the many friends and yogis who are greatly impacted by Sherry's teaching with IMCW since 2009 it is an honor to be here with all of you this evening I was first introduced to Sherry in April 2008 by the Kevin Bacon of the Dharma world our mutual friend Eileen Harrington soon after Sherry's ordination as a Dharma teacher in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh at that time IMCW was beginning to explore issues of diversity or lack thereof in dominant culture sanghas given Sherry's vast experience in social justice work I immediately sensed that she would be an important person to connect with as I had just recently co-founded the IMCW people of color and LGBTIQ sanghas in August of 2009 Sherry offered a day long entitled transforming barriers with an open heart that I managed for her through IMCW Sherry's unique blend of mindfulness practice and interactive exercises brought the Dharma alive for our sangha as we explored how to maintain an open heart in challenging environments while taking into account privilege and power so that energies flowed toward rather than against one another in 2011 I began to formally teach residential retreats one of the first was the IMCW women's retreat with Tara Brock, Sherry and myself I believe we were the most butch looking teaching team in the Dharma world a few months later Sherry asked me to co-teach a mindfulness and justice retreat with her at the Stone House in North Carolina I've often described myself as a reluctant teacher yet Sherry always had full confidence in my ability so much so that on the last night of the retreat we were teaching we were hanging out in our cabin and I asked, hey buddy how do you want to split the dhana for those of you who don't know what dhana is dhana is the poly word for generosity in the inside tradition it's an offering to the teacher usually financial to pay forward for what has been received she replied as she looked me directly in the eyes of compassion I'm so deep I'm sorry I know you don't believe that you can teach so to show you that I believe in you I want you to have all the dhana I was completely floored I took time to deeply take in this rare and empowering gift of generosity as my practice in that moment and eventually said I'm so deeply honored buddy and I don't feel like I can accept all of it as you offered so much on this retreat and I'd like for you to have dhana as well Sherry replied okay buddy you decide whatever you want to give to me as dhana then the reverberations of that single act of generosity still lives within me and informs my practice of dhana off and on retreat I'd been teaching teen mindfulness retreats for a few years when I thought it would be so awesome if Sherry joined me for one of these retreats when I finally invited Sherry to teach these retreats with me she replied oh buddy that's really scary this from someone who boogie boarded big waves in Mexico courageously rode her motorcycles solo around this country and it was a police officer how powerful it would have been for these young ones to be exposed to Sherry with the richness of her life experience fearless commitment to social justice deep mindfulness practice and open and questioning heart what I loved about Sherry was how real she was about herself her life her work her purpose in this world and how loving and dedicated she was to her family friends students colleagues teachers she gave us her heart immeasurably Sherry often commented on how cool she thought I was in particular how I dressed one day when she was visiting DC I said you know buddy I often wear my wardrobe so I'm happy to give you any of my clothes if you like Sherry got so excited like a kid in a candy store I actually saw a couple of my shirts in the slide show I must have shipped at least a couple of big boxes of my hand me ups to her in the last couple of years each time I would see her on retreat we talked together she would wear my clothes and I think to myself wow why did I give that away it looks so good on her I had a call with Sherry the morning before her accident we were exchanging ideas of how we wanted to work together in the coming year she was so excited about all the invitations to speak that she was getting the book that she was writing the upcoming sabbatical at upaya this world so needed her wisdom to help guide us through these difficult and challenging times and a few hours later I learned that she was in the ICU fighting for her life I was in shock for several days after I'm deeply grateful to Maureen and Eileen in particular for staying in touch as these days, weeks, months in the hospital and rehab centers passed at each monthly meeting of the IMCW people of color and LGBTIQ Sangas since the accident we dedicated our practice to Sherry we sang three rounds of breathing in breathing out to let Sherry know that she wasn't alone it was beautiful and inspiring to see the incredible outpouring of love service and resources coming Sherry's way from all directions and my deepest bow of gratitude to family and friends here in Madison and beyond who took such profound care of Sherry those many months I deeply trust that Sherry left this world knowing how deeply loved and appreciated she was may she also know that she greatly impacted thousands of lives towards freedom for me you may not be here in physical presence, buddy and you forever live in my heart I as invoke you each time I share the Dharma you were the coolest badass Satva that ever lived I think he gave me Sherry's hat I'm going to put one of these on in 20 some years it's good evening to all of you brothers, sisters fellow travelers, seekers and friends from the east I carry this image with me and it's been with me a number of years it comes from the Hindu tradition it's a metal sculpture of Krishna and Krishna's dancing on the back of a sleeping man and I always wonder doesn't the man know God's dancing on his back why doesn't he wake up why doesn't he want to dance with God will Sherry woke up Sherry woke up and she danced I remember she told me that when she questioned about whether or not she could be a Buddhist and carry a gun I told her who better to carry a gun than someone who is both mindful and impassioned yes who better was that not today's question as well in my police life with Sherry it turned out that we were able to recruit and train mindful and compassionate people who wish to be police officers little did we know that we would both pursue the religious life leader on in our lives she is a Dharma teacher and I as an Episcopal priest have known Sherry and communicated with her since I hired her over three decades ago became colleagues, friends justice seekers and Dr. W. Edwards Deming's quality movement during those years helped us I think all to begin to wake up a little bit to be more thoughtful to be more compassionate and to work for peace and justice and I'm missing her dearly as many of you are too you see I deeply love her too I remember that faithful morning in the ICU a terrible accident but when I remember most about that day is the love that surrounded her I mean as we gathered around it was like a halo like a dora and I could see feel and taste that love she was about to go into her first surgery it was the love nest that love nest that would encompass and nurture and love her during the year and thanks to internet and clearing bridge we all kept in contact with her and we sent prayers and loving thoughts out to our dear Sheri persistent palpable passionate love I always knew who Sheri was and you know that's when she stood I knew that always and you know that's a noble quality one of my first and fondest memories of her was when I asked my command staff to participate in an adventuresome like robes course I wanted us to bond and work closer together Sheri was fairly new I do police officer at the time but I wanted her on my top management team regardless of the rank and that day Sheri and I chose to each other's partners to ascend a very difficult series of high elevated wobbly lords in order to do this we had to literally stand on each other's shoulders to reach the next higher log which would many scary feet off the ground she was on my shoulders and I was on her shoulders big difference in our weights so we went all the way up the top and it was a bonding moment very early in our relationship and I remember it to this day but I never could grasp how she supported my weight as we stepped on those shoulders she was both fierce courageous yet gentle and if you ever needed someone to help you do the right thing during a difficult time Sheri was the person to be in your corner I also remember the patty case and how Sheri persisted in finding the truth even when almost everyone else was against her she stood up to a culture that often has difficulty admitting error she had as we guys tend to say balls balls not in the anatomical sense but in the sense of strength and persistence and resilience and a sense of equality she was tough and Sheri was the epitome of this new breed of cops that I sought she was the kind of person that I wanted to serve in our city and Madison became a noble experiment to stay and still believes that police are most effective in a free society when they are smart educated compassionate self-controlled servant leaders and keepers of the peace Sheri was all of that and more she helped the police department wake up wake up to our potential wake up to fairness injustice wake up to realize the chance on our back in my tradition our burial liturgy includes accommodation prayer and I'd like to share it with you tonight and with Sheri may we pray into your hands oh merciful god we commend your servant Sheri acknowledge we humbly beseech you a sheep of your own fold a lamb of your own flock a sinner of your own redeeming receive her into the arms of your mercy into the blessed rest of everlasting peace and into the glorious company of the saints amen now let us dance Isaac gave me Sheri's hat my name is Catherine Coleman and I've been a friend of Sheri's since our children were in late elementary school our sons and after many walks and many cups of tea suddenly they're 29 years old I was shocked and sad and scared when I heard about Sheri's accident last September but I was not surprised Sheri lived a life of taking risks she worked hard and played hard she received sustenance through her spiritual practice her friends and her family as a peacekeeper she was in many dangerous situations she worked for social justice both in organizations and in her life in general including the exploration of unconscious bias her license plate simply read justice 13 years ago Sheri was kind enough to come to my father's funeral in Chicago she and he both shared a love for baseball and at that funeral we sang take me out to the ball game Sheri said I hope someone does that for me so here we are today since I told her if I were alive and able to be at her memorial I would make it happen and Kelsey will help me since my voice is not very good but it is sincere and Kelsey's voice is good and also sincere so we're here to fulfill that promise on yes on three and it's one two three take me out to the ball game take me out to the crowd buy me some peanuts and cracker jack I don't care it back cause it's root root root for the home team if I don't win it's a shame cause it's one two three strikes you're out at the old so though Sheri loved the excitement of ball games and lots of risks as we've heard she also understands the value of contemplation and quiet so we invite sisters true virtue and true pearl to lead us in our closing prayer wow suddenly I'm taller good evening dear Sheri dear friends as I was sitting down there listening to all of your beautiful sharing a few words came up in me when I was in high school we had this game called that you write down nouns that would represent the alphabet of your name so Sheri is C-H-E-R-I and the words that came up in me C stands for calm H is for humor that's who she is E is for her eloquence in giving drama in giving the teaching in sharing with people what is in her heart R is respect and for all of us who have lived with her know her we know that this is a beautiful quality that she has and I is intelligence she has all of this each one of us has this tonight let us take it and look at Sheri when we look at this picture we smile because she is smiling with us we breathe because she is also breathing with us what is the message that Sheri wants to send us tonight so that we can take that message on for the rest of our lives what is Sheri saying to us right now please remember what she just said to all of us I keep that in her heart and the next time tomorrow say many months or years come we miss her we remember her while we drive while we watch a baseball game watch a basketball game we enjoy nature we can say to Sheri Sheri I enjoy this moment for you and I am here for you so tonight we would like to end the service with the song no coming and no going let us please stand up and hold hands hold the hands of our beloved feel the beating of the hearts and know that there is no coming no going how can we lost somebody when that person is still in our heart how can that person be gone when we continue to think of that person in our daily life so if you know this song please sing with us sing to celebrate her love sing to celebrate her kindness sing to celebrate her humor and her smile and know that she is in each one of us and we are also in her so again thank everyone for being part of this and please feel free to enjoy the refreshments and continue the stories and also the slideshow will continue so thank you so much