 The makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi. A comedy show created by Sy Howard and starring a celebrated actor Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed as Pasquale. Fans of the makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum are glad to bring you a life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly, good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment. And they'd like to mention the fact that their product Wrigley's Spear Mint gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Wrigley's Spear Mint whether you're working, shopping, listening to your radio, or doing just about anything. Wrigley's Spear Mint gum tastes good, it's refreshing, and the good easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. Now, Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. Dear mommy! The most wonderful thing about America is that the newspapers they got here. They got a plane of paper, sport of paper, trade of paper, fire in the paper. And yesterday I must show what must be a railroad of paper. It's called the best of bests at the track. The minute mom and me are never going to sleep at the night without reading the paper. But there's a funny thing about the newspaper here. You start to read the story on a page of two, then it's used to when they get interesting, they say turn it to page 48. And then I'm going to turn it to page 48, but meanwhile I'm going to read nice advertisement on a page of six. Then a funny story on a page of ten. Cross the weather puzzle on a page of twenty, beautiful girl in a bed in a suit and a page of thirty-six. And by the time mama come on a page of forty-eight, I don't know what I'm doing with that. But now, mama, I've got a big, big surprise for you. Today I'm going to get a two dollar check from my neighborhood newspaper. They got the one in the apartment that's called My Face Was a Red. And if you send them in something that's funny, that embarrasses you, then they send you two dollars. So I'm going to write them how I'm going to come off at the boat three years ago, how I'm across the street in a big traffic, at least many years ago back, I think he means it to Italy, so I'm running a hide-and-seek myself in a cellar. And for this mama, me and newspaper is sending me two dollars. Oh, wait a moment here, here comes my countryman, Pasquale. Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello, Pasquale. I was just reading the paper in the banana nose. You see anything inside the Pasquale? Yes, it says that the cabbage pushes the name. Hey, look, you see my check, Pasquale? For that story, paper is sending me two dollars. Yeah, two dollars. Yes. Luigi, let's celebrate right away by spending the two dollars on the biggest investment you ever made. What's that? Marriage license for my daughter. Come now, Pasquale, that's an investment of 250 pounds or too big. How am I going to spend the two dollars this summer away? Impossible. In America, two bucks is only good for two things. A marriage license or a bet on a horse. Pasquale, with a rosa they bought the same thing. You ought to talk it that way, Luigi. Look, you like to read your name in the papers, right? Sure. All right, do you marry Rosa? I promise you, I'm going to pay to print your name on a whole of pages. Chicago's the biggest of papers. Even put a picture of you and a rosa inside. Yeah, but Pasquale, just for Rosa's picture, you're going to need the whole Sunday magazine section. And the front of the pages are going to be rosa's face, and they're going to say, for the rest of a rosa, print the page of two, three, five, six, seven, eight. Look, why, Zakers? Anybody can get his name in the paper. All you've got to do is fall off and build it. Yeah, but Pasquale, you don't have to forget that. I'm going to have to pay the money for writing it for the paper. You've got to pay the money. Luigi, if you're going to tell all those stupid things you did when you first come to America, you're going to be a millionaire. Why don't you tell them the dumb thing you said to me about the names of the streets? Pasquale, America. It's so nice. But why all the streets are they called the stop street and the go street? But then I thought it was a new here. Oh, stop. It was a new. Tell them what you said when I wanted to buy you first hot dog. Pasquale must have been bad times in America for they eating the dogs. That's why you always come here to congratulate me or to make a fun of me. What a dumb fellow. Luigi, how many times I got to teach you? When do you do something stupid to keep it to yourself? Look at me. If I ever do a stupid thing, I never open up my mouth and it stays right where it belongs, in my head. You're so right, Pasquale. Since I'm an only you, you always have been a stupid in the head. Funny thing. When I'm a say it, it's a commodity for it. Well, excuse me now, Pasquale. I'm going to write a few more things for my pet. Sure, sure. Go ahead. Tell everybody what a dumb thing you did. You're going to be a millionaire in no time. Pasquale, always do you make fun of when I'm going to try to improve myself in America. Well, I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you I can get the money for writing other things. All right, all right. Show me. But no matter what you write, I bet you're going to end up with your own column. And you know what it's going to be called? What? Stupid things I'm done by the maroon of the week. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. No way. I mean, people involve a role. Mr. Baskoff. Here. Mr. Harwitz. Here. Mr. Olsen. Mr. Schultz. You can raise that again. Mr. Schultz. Thank you. You did raise it again. Never mind, Mr. Schultz. Class, our lesson today is on English. We are studying the degrees of comparison. Mr. Harwitz, compare the word good. With pleasure. Good, better, best. Excellent. Thank you. I'm glad you agree with me. Thank you. I need to show. Compare the word bad. Bad? Very sick, dead. No, no. I'm sorry, Mr. Spaulding. Ben and Zillen couldn't save him. Mr. Spaulding, I know. I know the answer. There he goes. The vulture of intelligence feeding on the bones of ignorance. Oh, please, Mr. Schultz. Hold it, Mr. Olsen. Mr. Basko, you may compare the word bad. Huh? I said compare the word bad. Haven't you been listening? Oh, sure. Bad works good. Bad works so good. No, no. I said good to you. I know. And if you said it, it's gotta be right. Please listen, Mr. Basko. Good is not correct. Mr. Spaulding, if you tell me the wrong things, how am I going to get the good marks? Oh, stop it. You're getting teacher all for shimmers. Mr. Spaulding, maybe it's all in my fault. I'm so excited about a window that's $2 from the newspaper. I didn't listen to it too good before. You won $2 from the newspaper? Oh, did you do that by him? Well, I sent a paper to study why my face was red. And they sent me the money. Why your face was red? Himmel, Louise, you don't tell me you are an Italian, India. No, look, friends, here's the cheque. And my name is in the paper today. On page 12, six lines up from the bottom are two inches and from the right. But you ain't sure exactly where. Let me see that. Look, the little window is right. Why my face was red. And there's an aim on the bottom, biggest right. Luigi, back here at 21 and not the Hollister Street. Can I see why I'm so excited, Mr. Spaulding? Well, I can't say that I blame you, Mr. Basco. May I see that paper, please? I'm interested in finding out how you phrase your writing. Maybe we could point out some mistakes in English. At $2, the mistake I could be a millionaire in a week. This is not bad, Mr. Basco. But you should watch your personal pronoun. You keep writing I instead of I. I don't know what it is. I'm a watch. I watch. I'm a watch. Again, I watch. I watch. Himmel sounds like we've got a sponsor, the Hamilton Watch Company. Miss Spaulding, that's wonderful. Luigi getting his aim in the paper like that? Yes, it certainly is, Mr. Basco. And we're all very proud of it. Oh, thank you, friends. You should keep on writing to them, Luigi. That's true. If your story amused the newspaper, you should send them a few more. Oh, frenzy, you better know what your words mean to me. I'm a liker to... more than anything else to show Pasquale how wrong he is. You think... you think maybe I'm going to get a worker for this paper? A steady worker, huh? Well, that's not so easy, Mr. Basco. But in America, anything is possible. Luigi, if you could show this newspaper that you do a better job than anybody else, it could be they would hire you. You heard it. That's true. By golly. All you must prove to them is that you have a good nose for news. Good nose for news? Yeah, that's when a fella needs a smeller. Who done with a lullaby lousy? Why, Luigi, it's time you left that scheming Pasquale and quit the antique business and try the new life. Yeah, but, friends, how do you think I should have gone about getting a job in this newspaper? Well, it's only a suggestion, Mr. Basco, but as long as it's a local newspaper, I'd suggest you canvass the whole neighborhood for human interest stories, bring them into the editor and show him what you can do before you even see him. A very smart idea. Does somebody always get engaged, get married, having a baby? Yeah, and if you ever find anybody doing all that in one day, then you really got news. Friends, I think you give me a big idea. Yeah, you give me a great idea. I'm gonna go around all day tomorrow and talk to all of my friends in the neighborhood and find out all of the news. Sure, there's nothing like tying, I'd say. Yeah, and you can start the news with me, Luigi. Mrs. Schultz had it a seven-and-a-half pound board. Oh, my God! How about a shoot set? When did this happen? Seven years ago. That's right. Smile, everybody. And just think, Luigi, tomorrow you're getting news about the neighborhood. Next year, you're working for a big city paper and in two years, who knows? You find a crazy hat, you go around wearing it and what does everybody say? Luigi Basco is the head-a-hopper of Chicago. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a suggestion that'll make your working hours more enjoyable. From time to time, while you're working, chew a stick of refreshing, delicious wiggly spearmint gum. You see, friends, when you're concentrating on a job, there are bound to be times when you feel a little tense or restless. Chewing a stick of wiggly spearmint really helps you out. The good, smooth chewing gives you satisfaction and helps to relieve that feeling of tension. Then, too, the refreshing wiggly spearmint flavor cools your mouth, moistened your throat, and gives you a little lift. You just naturally feel better and work better. So enjoy chewing wiggly spearmint gum while you work. Millions find it helpful and you will, too. Now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basco's letter to his mother in Italy. For instance, yesterday he's a writer. Mary X has a 50. With a John H. Before she splices a word of, you know who, expect an innovation by 30 times. Mama Mia, this is kind of English. You can't learn it. You've got to be born aware of that. Still, even if I'm never going to be big like Mr. Winchell, I'm going to take my friend's advice and talk to all the people in my neighborhood. Then I'm going to take all this news to the newspaper fella and maybe he's going to give me a job. My first customer was a Pascal. Hello, Pascal. What's new today? What's the idea of a pencil and a notebook? Pascal, I'm not going to prove it to you. I'm not going to be newspaper man without the right and the stupidest things about myself. I'm not going to get all the news about the neighborhood and maybe I'm going to get a steady job. And then I'm going to have to be insulted by you. You know, Luigi, I think you've got some seeds missing and you're pumpkin ahead. If I didn't know you didn't drink, I'd have sent you away to that alcoholics of unanimous. Pascal, why are you talking to me like this? Because enough is enough. This because of some crazy newspaper gives you two bucks right away you think you're a big reporter. Luigi, if you were a reporter, then I'm ex-Avia Cougats. Well, I'd like to go by ex-Avia Cougats. Now wait, wait, wait. Look, Luigi, you're too old to be playing the kid games. Instead of walking around the streets of Pesto and all the neighbors, you should have sit home and make your own news. Make my own news? How, Pascal? Get married, that's the news. Have some babies, that's the news. Do those things if you want to be in the headlines. Pascal, there must be some easier way to get in the Pesto. Come here, my son. Goodbye, Papa. Luigi! Wait, wait, I'm coming over to see you. Hey, Luigi, what's this with the notebook and the pencil? I'm a reporter now, sir. Yeah, didn't you see my name in the paper yesterday? No, what happened? You got hit by a taxi? No, no, no, no. No, I must tell the mustates. Wait, how much did they pay for the story? Uh, two dollars there was a short the story. Yeah, well, don't worry, they're going to pay me more later. Ask about, maybe, maybe you got a news for my paper? Big news, Luigi. My wife is expecting a baby next month. Oh, that's, that's the news after all. What day of babies are going to come? Well, I didn't ask them, Luigi, but it should be around the 15th. Ask about, I'm going to know exactly because I'm going to sell a paper night to before. Well, now look, Luigi. As soon as it happens, I promise you, you'll be the first to know. Oh, no, no, no. I wanted you to tell a Mrs. Ask about first thing. Hey, Mrs. Peregrino. Hey, Luigi, my big girl tells me you got a new name on a newspaper. And only six pages away from President Truman. Yes, that's right. And now I'm going to report it for the paper, Mrs. Peregrino. See, look, paper, pencil, everything. Ah, Luigi, I'm always the new Sunday, you're going to be a bigger shot. Yeah, but a, but a Pasquale, Pasquale isn't the only thing, son. Ah, that a Pasquale. 26 years in America and he only got his name on a newspaper once. When he ate his own spaghetti, and I took on the rest of it. Mrs. Peregrino, I'm collecting the news from the whole neighborhood. Maybe you got something to tell me? Oh, sure, Luigi. I'm making a party. My twins, they're going to be two years old tomorrow. Oh, that's the news. Wait, wait, I'm going to write down Mrs. Peregrino's twins. How many L's in a Peregrino? Well, I'm going to think three or four going to make sure to put down a five. Hey, the twins, they're named Vincent and Frank, huh? What do you think? I'm going to change them every year. Oh, thank you, Mrs. Peregrino. Are you going to be reading this tomorrow? All right, Luigi, and I'm going to buy ten papers, so maybe they're going to give you a raise. Yeah, maybe. So now you're a reporter for the paper, eh, Luigi? Sure, Clancy. Maybe you've got some police news for my paper. Well, Luigi, you could write down that I start my two-week vacation tomorrow. How good? Where are you going to, Clancy? Well, I've been thinking I could stay with my son and kids in Milwaukee or my daughter at Springfield, but either one will be mad if I go to the other. My cousins have invited us to New York, and there's a repressor course I could take at the academy, but my wife says we ought to pack up and go on a fishing trip. Mummy, are you so tired of thinking, or maybe you should just stay home and take a rest. Well, there's a newspaper place. The sign in the window says that neighborhood is found next to circulation of ten thousand. Mummy, that's a big enough thing. Well, I'm going in with my news. Pardon me, miss. Yes, sir? I'm a Luigi Bosco fellow who wrote the new paper yesterday. Do you recognize me? Uh, you wrote in our paper. Sure, to my face it was a red. Here's a two-dollar check to prove, see? Uh, is there something wrong with the check, sir? Oh, no, it's a beautiful... It's a paper check I've ever made from a writing. So I'm going to frame it to hang it up next to my citizen as a paper when I'm getting a couple of years. Well, that's very nice, Mr. Bosco. And now I'm going to come in with a more business for you paper. Here, in this another book, I'm going to have lots of news for tomorrow as a paper, and you're going to pay me now. Well, I'm sorry, sir. All right, then, after now, pay me after you sell all the papers. All I'm going to... Yeah, check on that view story. Find out where the devil's chick is and tell Bill to search the mall for a good snap of Rocky Malone. Such as a market. I don't know if I'm going to like this job. Please, miss, I'm going to like it to talk to you, boss. I'm sorry, Mr. Bosco, but Mr. McGarry is very busy right now. Please, only for one minute. No, I... I'm going to get some very big news for him. You have to just walk right in, Mr. Bosco. Sure, sure. Already they're treating me like an apartment. Yes. Mr. McGarry, I'm Luigi Bosco. Remember? My face was red for $2 yesterday. Excuse me. Gannets even get a line through and out of the mayor's office and tell Bill to shoot up that picture as soon as he picks it up at the morgue. Yes. I'm Luigi Bosco from the morgue. What? I mean, my face was red yesterday. He was a son of me, $2. See, look, I clip out the video right there. Yes, yes. But come to the point, Bosco. I've got a load of work to get out. Well, I'm... I'm going to get some big news about the neighborhood. Good. I'm always glad to get something hot. Then maybe I better go out to warm up with the purpose. All right, all right. What's the news? Well, I'm going to read. After all, the wife is going to have a baby. Boy or girl, we don't know. Mrs. Pellegrino's twins are going to be two years old. Clancy the Cap is going on a vacation for two weeks and maybe she's spending with his son and we're walking and maybe... Mr. Bosco, are you pulling my leg? Pulling your leg. You hurt me. Look, Bosco, I appreciate you coming in and all that, but we can't use that stuff. It's no good for us. Oh, no good? But why? Because it's not news. Ask for those new babies in the afternoon, sir. Maybe to the baby, but not to our readers. Then how about the twins' birthday? Millions of twins have birthdays. But they don't belong to Mrs. Pellegrino. Look, Bosco, I appreciate your effort, but I haven't got the time to explain what makes a news story for us. Oh, wait, here. Look at this morning's paper. Study these headlines. Man hit by truck, woman takes overdose of sleeping pills, plane crashes into building, fire sweeps, tournament district. That's a nosy... You got it. Killing, murder, suicide, accidents. That's what the people want to read about and they want to read about people they know. Yeah, but everybody knows that Clancy the Cap and he's going on a vacation. Nothing. Clancy goes on a vacation, he goes fishing, turns over and he drowns, that's news. Mummy, I better tell Clancy he should lock himself up in the house. Forget about cops, vacations, twins' birthdays, and women having babies. All right. I'm not going to tell Mrs. Astro to forget about her having a baby. Goodbye. I hope you know that business is going to be big. And now look, wait a minute. I don't like it myself. I got a wife and kid and I love nice things. I got a little girl. That night I was smoking my pipe and she said, Daddy, are you thinking about something? And I said, yeah, why? And she said, because your face is standing still. Isn't that wonderful? Yeah, that's... that's beautiful. Look, I tell you what, try again. But forget that stuff about babies, birthdays, and vacations. That's not news. Uh-huh. Well, what's the matter? What you thinking about? I was just thinking maybe if it was the nose all of what is sleeper better. Well, where am I going to find the news? All day I'm going to work around. Nothing is going to happen in the... Come on, my man, there's a big crowd outside the banquet. Hey, mister, where's mister? What's happening here? Hold up. The card got shot. They don't know if they'll live. What? We're on the side, everybody. I'm a friend of the newspaper. Let's go. I have to hand it to you. This is news. Oh, you like it? I'll say. They've got a check for $10 to Mr. Luigi Basco and bring it in. And it does. Yep. I'm very happy to have a freelance reporter like you. Just get around and shoot the news to me. Anything spectacular, exciting. Hold up. Fires. Hold up. The fires are killing us. Suicide. Here's a check, Mr. McGarry. Thanks. Here you are, Mr. Basco. More news. More checks. No, thanks. Keep your checks. Is there going to be no news? What? You won't take the check? No. I would never like to be a fellow who's bringing the bad news to somebody. Goodbye, Mr. McGarry. And thanks for your trust. Well, I'm glad you learned your lesson fast. Mr. Basco, I don't want to make me feel bad. It's about the time you found out, Luigi. You can learn the world what to do. Well, I call out a rosa. Maybe we're making some news ourselves. What news? Marriage news. Rosa. Rosa. Rosa. Yes, my little rye, Chris. Say hello to Luigi. I know. Rosa and Luigi just found out he can't teach you the world what to do, so... Oh, is that Mr. McGarry? Mr. Basco, you may not realize it, but I've done a lot of thinking since you left my newspaper office. And Luigi's has done a lot of worrying. So have I. Mr. Basco, I want you to take this $10 and it's not for the hold-up story. Isn't that too... No, that $10 is for a story about a little girl saying to her father, Daddy, your face is standing still. You get me a good idea, Mr. Basco. I'm starting a feature about cute things children say. I think the public might like it. Maybe all of me has been standing still. Mr. Basco, starting tomorrow, my paper prints some other kind of news. You mean... Yes, the kind that lets you sleep. So long. Goodbye. Mama Mia, it's wonderful. What's so wonderful? What's to happen? It sounds like a double talk to me. First of all, it is true. I can't learn the whole world, but if I learn a wonderful person at a time like a Miss Sporting is to say about America, anything can happen. And so many... I'm not working for a newspaper, but I'm gonna have to. So far this week, there was a print lots of my stories. Hotties, babies had been born on vacations. Mama Mia, who would never be nice if a newspaper went to print all the good news in the front of pages and all the bad news in the back? Then you could enjoy the front of pages and with the back of pages, you could line the garbage up. You love the sun, Luigi Vasco, and the immigrant. While you're working, shopping, or driving your car, you'll find that little package of Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum, a friendly companion to carry with you. You really will. So next time you go to the store, get a few packages of healthful, delicious Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum. Enjoy it often, as millions do. The makers of Wrigley's Spear Mint chewing gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production and is directed by Mack Benhoff. The script is written by Mack Benhoff and Lou Dermott. J. Carol Nass is starred as Luigi Vasco, with Alan Reed as Pasquale, Hans Kahn Reed as Shope, Jodie Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Shipp as Miss Balding, Joe Forte as Horowitz, Ken Peters as Olson, and Sarah Brunner as Mrs. Pellegrino. This is the production of Blood Gluckers. This is Charles Lyons. This is the CDF Radio Network.