 So when you buy the game of desire and you open up the book the literal first word you're going to read is Courtney Courtney so introduce everybody to what they're about to watch. So what you're about to see is how I Nailed this date this very first date with the help of Shan sitting here And yes coaching me through it along in a very unconventional way, but it worked. But it works. Yes. Yes prologue Courtney seemed stuck Caught between two thoughts two versions of herself, but mostly between two colors Should I make the smiley face red or black? She asked with her marker hovering over a stack of note cards I glanced around her office a place that I knew she spent far too much time in then replied The next action card in the routine is the physical challenge So why not make that one black then you can make the smiley face red The colors did not matter in the least and we actually didn't even need to make cue cards since Courtney had Rehearsed the routine until she knew it by heart But I invited her to use her marker collection because I knew it would calm her nerves I suspected that she knew this too Courtney had gone on at least a dozen dates since we began working together months ago But this meetup with Derek was special Derek was her target to a tee a conscious thinker A health nut and a hot firefighter who looked like his nickname was Mr. October She had been crushing on him from afar But had only mustered up the courage and skill set to ask him out a few days ago The Derek type was exactly what we had been working toward and best of all He wasn't the only high-interest playmate that Courtney had lined up Another man named River whom she described as a potential soulmate Was flying in from Dallas in a couple of weeks to see her as well Don't stress out too much about getting this day in the can okay Derek is the one who should be scared of you with yet dangerously seductive self Courtney exhaled into a half-smile and emphatically pressed the cap on her marker as if to say amen She handed me the cue cards grabbed her purse then looked back up at me Okay, we should probably head out. He'll be there soon I stood in agreement and looked her over one more time Okay Think I can do it. You're doing so great. How do you feel about no bra? I'm fine. I'm fine with it. Oh We left her office in separate cars and by the time I got to the restaurant Courtney and her freed nipples Were already outside on her faux good news phone call, which was the first technique of the routine After working with me to fix her struggling love life Courtney was inspired to begin her own workshop for women who like her had been bullied in high school The caller was a web designer who had agreed to take on her new passion project pro bono All of this was true, but of course it didn't just happen But it did happen to be something we could use to her advantage because positive first impressions are well worth their weight in gold and white lies Courtney pointed through the window at a man sitting with his back to us I nodded and flashed three cards at her for a final reminder a red smile Make sure this is the first thing that he sees Blue connected arrows touch consensually asap and a newspaper share good news I slid into the table behind Derek and a beat later Courtney walked in with a tsunami of positive vibes She finished up her call loudly then approached Derek who had now gotten to his feet It's so good that we're finally doing this She said and she hugged him tightly I just got some awesome news that I have to share Maybe you're my new good luck charm I did a fist pump under my table and waved the fourth cue card with a drawing of a keg A symbol to remind her to be the life of the party A few minutes later the waiter sauntered over to their table and Courtney Cradled her chin in her hands and struck up some small talk The waiter took the bait shifted his body toward her and stood taller You've been here before right? We have some new things on the menu. Do you want some recommendations? In response to this Courtney switched her attention back to Derek What do you think I should get? She appraised him and smiled with approval I trust you know what you're doing When the waiter left Courtney proceeded to tell Derek about the phone call He asked a series of rapid-fire follow-ups then Surprisingly revealed that he too had been severely picked on growing up They shared a moment exchanging their high school pitfalls and triumphs that I'm sure would have gone on longer if I weren't there I held up the fifth card a swiggly face and waited for Courtney to find something to disagree with Derek about After all fire isn't just created with sunlight alone to create sparks. You also got to have friction Derek started talking about football and how it helped him gain the confidence that he lacked in high school With this Courtney sat up straighter to investigate You're a football guy, huh? Oh, you're a football gal said Derek excitedly. He leaned so far over the table You would truly think he was holding that damn thing up. I'm a rams fan Up to that point Courtney had mirrored his body position plus She had been given him the full flirtatious treatment. Her speech was slow Her body language was in a perfect s formation And she had been picturing him naked to keep her pupils dilated But the rams comment changed everything She sat back to put distance between them closed her body by crossing her arms and pointing her feet toward the door The rams seriously Just when I thought we could be friends for the next few minutes Courtney barraged him about his awful taste in football. He defended himself and his team But she was unrelentingly displeased with him I held the red smiley face card up indicating it was time to turn the disagreement into an opportunity to tease And to create their first inside joke I couldn't hear what she said, but I noticed her uncross her arms and poke out that hip again You're welcome Derek. I thought The waiter stopped by took my order and then stared down at my bright yellow cards as he picked up the menu In moments like this I was so glad to live in LA a place where too many weird things happen for anyone to really give a damn He walked away and I flashed the seventh card, which was a picture of a dumbbell that signified It was time to get physical Courtney glanced down at her fitbit then back up at Derek Shoot She murmured what? It's stupid, but me and my friends are doing this 21 day physical challenge. That's kind of turned into a competition This is awkward But I have to squat now Will you do it with me? Here? No, he said flatly like the professional that she was she did not back down Please just 30 seconds so I don't look like a dork in here alone We don't even have to get up. We can just hover over our seat He shook his head but this time with a smile that said you win The two of them then scooted back their chairs and squatted This technique may sound a little crazy, but let's analyze the genius behind it One exercise increases the heart rate, which is also the same physiological response you get when you like someone new Two misbehaving in a civilized place brings us back to the joys of childhood Three doing something physically exerting while you're inches away from the face of someone you have chemistry with Is the closest thing you're going to get to sex in public without drawing stares or sirens Courtney wavered on her heels and placed her hand on Derek's for balance as they kept their eyes locked on each other Okay, done They both collapsed back and laughed until their breathing returned to normal What other alerts do you have on there asked Derek? Courtney took this as an opportunity to cross the physical barrier again to show him her watch and to examine his Most women are afraid to introduce touch on the first few dates, which is precisely why I taught Courtney not to be Everything she had done from the moment she asked him out was designed to make it abundantly clear She was far from average Courtney inspected his watch and turned his wrist over in her hand until it naturally fell into her palm She held it there for a second Then gestured for him to take it back as he retracted She let her fingers brush against his I later learned that our good sport Derek had brushed back I held up the card with three x's on it a prompt for Courtney to begin mind Derek She nodded subtly in a way that looked like she was agreeing with him Even though I was certain that gesture was for me As they chatted some more she casually lifted her hand and gripped then stroked her glass up and down Then down and back up She also took every opportunity to expose her neck and draw attention to her mouth The goal of mind is to activate someone's sexual responses without them overtly understanding Why they're becoming aroused? I pulled out the card with the bathroom symbol drawn on it and a few beats later Courtney excused herself being mindful to touch Derek's shoulders reassuringly as she left If you have a problem introducing touch on dates The bathroom technique should solve that dilemma by giving you a natural excuse to touch a neutral place This break also provides a crucial opportunity to freshen up not just physically but mentally Professional sports teams take a halftime break to regroup. So why shouldn't you? I encouraged Courtney and the other women in the group who you will get to know later on in this book To use this time to re-center themselves by Rapids their favorite pump-up verse re-applying their vaginal fluids Again more on this later in the book and most importantly to use this time to stare at themselves Ravenously in the mirror until they could not resist the woman gazing back The waiter approached with my soup and salad, which I had totally forgotten. I'd even ordered I looked up at him apologetically and asked can I get this to go and the bill please I wanted to be gone before she got back to communicate that I had total confidence in Courtney's ability to close without further prompts. This was the moment the training wheels came off Before I left I threw the remaining cue cards in the trash. They were ask a bold question like why are you still single? Ask a weird and sexy question like if you were a sexual superhero, what would your special power be? Then leave him with an anecdote or story to think about and finally to get the out of there With that last note in mind. I sent Courtney a reminder text once I got back to my car Do not let him extend the date beyond dinner no matter how good things are going About an hour later. She called and practically yelled girl. The date went so damn smooth I got a second date on the date literally while we were eating. He said I want to see you again I smiled you are officially and indisputably a pro now. She laughed and clapped her hands joyfully Oh, thanks to you shin. This shit really works Yes, I can only shine bright because of you. That's not true But I do have my own light, but you're like you're the reflector. You're like, yes in the right direction court Wait, let's turn this. Do you know why I decided to do this with you? Why you don't know. No, we never had this discussion No, I felt like you had all of the right criteria. It's like making food Like you had the pasta the marinara sauce the time you had the hot water the pot But just your proportions were off So I felt like on dates you sometimes might have just given too much Vulnerability Yes. Oh, yeah. Remember the couple dates you told me about where like the guy just talked non-stop about their x and it happened to you twice Yes Okay, like corny does a really good job Which is an excellent listener and she's really good at communicating and connecting But you have to also have a little bit of fun in there too. Yes has to also be some sexuality You have to challenge the person you have to assert your expertise And so oh girl you was taking all my ingredients and making sure I can make the spaghetti, right? Exactly If you are the kind of person who it's like maybe you do tend to give a little bit too much in one area And not paying up attention to another area having a formula that you have in your mind that you're saying, okay It's just like a layup. You have to be really really mechanical at first like take two steps Arm extend up off the backboard layup and you do that 17 times until it now becomes one fluid motion Yes So this was you practicing how to do a layup Yes, and I keep practicing because I keep laying them when I land up with them, but I keep laying up All my debt but putting that little twerk on it same time while we outside in mother nature It's a balance of it all it's about balance. Yes It's about balance y'all moral of the story. Yes. All right, peace Yes, are we done? Yeah, that was it. Uh, let's do something else