 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of jothanasley.com, and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, a surprising way a man will chase you. Surprising way a man will chase you. All right, wait, what's the topic? Yeah, you have to say this. I forgot to add that, you have to say this. Okay, really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell, so you can be notified of new content. I shoot about three or four videos per week. All right, you gotta say this. This is to get a guy to chase you. All right, so I want a lot of you ladies to recognize that you can sit back in your feminine energy and wait for man to chase you because you've pulled back and that space in between is he wants to fill that space. That's the idea of the whole feminine energy leaning back is he's gonna naturally gravitate to fill that space if he really likes you. Okay, but here's the reality with most men. Most men have childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas that cause them to be fearful of love. And if they're chasing love, it's because there's a deficiency inside of them. There's a deficiency inside of them. And in addition, men are territorial. So men can chase you because we might treat you like property, there I spit, okay? But that's not healthy. Men who treat you like property, men who are territorial, that's not healthy. That might have a short-term benefit, but this doesn't have long-term benefits. And I want you to begin to, by the way, have my shirt really quickly. This is, I'm shooting this video early, but this is gonna be posted on New Year's Eve. So I thought I'd wear a festive shirt for New Year's Eve. Okay, hopefully I'll be going, I don't know what I'll be doing for New Year's Eve. Hopefully you've done something, you're doing something exciting tonight. Okay, so, but I wanna lean back, go back. Oh God, I totally lost my train of thought. What's going on here? All right, let's just try to bring it back altogether. So emotionally unhealthy people will chase love. Yes, they chase love. Or they're chasing sex, okay? They're either chasing love or chasing, they're chasing love from an unhealthy place, or they're chasing sex for a temporary fulfillment in their lives. But I want you to actually begin choosing a higher quality kind of guy, that kind of guy that wants to, who's ready for a fully committed relationship. And this is one of the reasons why I teach what I call vetting men, vetting men. This is how to vet for emotional maturity, okay? And if you need some support on that, check out my link to a free discovery call. My area of expertise is teaching you how to identify emotionally mature men. Because emotionally mature men will invest in you. Let's take out the word chase and let's replace it with invest with you. And he's investing it with you, it's in a two lane street. So I want you to imagine you're driving a car and he's gonna make an investment and he wants to see if you make an investment. And if you make an investment, he's gonna make an investment. And that's how it looks when you're in a healthy, juicy relationship. And I want you to say this next thing to help him make an investment in you. And this is certainly for the early stages of dating. In fact, this is literally the first or second day kind of words to make a man make an investment in you. And I'll never forget, I had a first date with a woman. This is some years back. And somewhere in the middle of the evening, she said to me, if you asked me out on a second date, I would say yes. I'm like, wow, that was kind of interesting. And I'm sure she heard that from someone else. I mean, it felt a little contrived. Well, later, as I reflected upon it, it felt contrived only because I'm a dating and relationship coach, I analyze everything. This is one of the reasons why I'm probably still single is I analyze everything. I've got to get out of my own head. My head is my problem, okay? For those wondering, why am I still single? It's this, I'm great at dishing out advice, but sometimes I have a hard time hearing my own advice. But what I loved and what she said was, she gave me a green light. She dropped the hanky. She gave me an invitation to move forward. And I want to take this to the next level. I want you to take this to the next level. And I want you to adopt some new language when you're communicating with men who you want to make an investment in, okay? So you've gone on one, two, or three dates. He seems to be pursuing you. And I want you to throw in this question or this statement, and it goes something like this. I would be open to exploring a relationship with you. I would be open to exploring a relationship with you. Would you be open to exploring a relationship with me? Now you followed up with the question. I'm open to exploring. No, so now it kind of puts them on the spot, but that's what you want. You want to put men on the spot from the perspective of either they face the reality because men who are just simply chasing love or men who are simply chasing sex, they're so hyper-focused in kind of a needy selfish way. And I want you to lean into men who are looking at it as a two-lane street as I talked about, okay? I'd be open to exploring a relationship with you. Would you be open to exploring a relationship with me? And then the follow-up question, and this is the most important thing you say, is what does a healthy, happy relationship look like for you? What does a healthy, happy relationship look like for you? This requires them to look inward. This is one of the reasons why I'm such a big proponent of self-love because people can't look inward, aren't loving on themselves. If a person can't love on themselves, it's gonna make it very difficult for them to explore a healthy, juicy, delicious relationship with you. This is why I always recommend my book What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? I talk about this often, often, often. There's a link below to get my book, okay? I want you to start choosing those men who are gonna lean into it. What's a healthy relationship look like for you? And ladies, if you need some support on understanding what they look like, I talk about this in almost every one of my videos. Check out the book Eight Dates by Dr. John Gott, John and Julie Gottman. This teaches you what a healthy, happy relationship looks like because you've gotta say this before, because he ain't gonna commit if he doesn't know what a healthy, happy relationship looks like and most men are effing clueless. They're clueless not because they don't care, it's because we haven't been taught. None of us have been taught this stuff and one of the things I hear from clients over and over and again. Jonathan, I wish people taught, I wish I learned this in high school, I wished I learned this in college, I wish my parents taught me this, I wished I learned this 10 years ago. That's what I'm here to support you on and I want you to start making a shift and say this to see if he's ready for a full commitment with you. Ah, okay, if you have a question or have any comments, please post it below. I do my best to read all of them and I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do for my New Year's Eve shirt. Wishing, giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love, I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank you so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye-bye now.