 We got Madison Bumgarner pitching against the Marlins in the first inning, bottom of the first inning. John Birdie's up, and this is how it goes down. The first pitch, ball one, low. Next pitch, outside, two-oh, fastball, down the middle. Absolute bomb home run, if I cut fastball or something like that, bad start for Mad Bum, but then he induces a flyout, gets the first out. Next batter, Soler, another flyout, gets the second out. Okay, getting better, and then we're gonna have strike one. Oh, no, he says, where was that? Bum says, that was down. He says, I don't know about that. So that's ball, but he thought it was a strike. The next pitch, that's a strike on the outside. It gets it from blue, then he gets the swinging strike. It's a one, two count. He's gonna go back to the outside and try to get him looking, and wants it, wants it, doesn't get it. So that's two strikes he thought he had, didn't get the next pitch, his flyout to right field, and as he walks to the dugout, he's gonna let the ump know, like I struck that guy out twice, now you gotta make it out in the field, blah, blah, blah, yelling at him. Then he's gonna put his hand out as he walks to the next ump to allow him to feel it around a little bit. And if you're wondering, what the heck is this about? I haven't seen this in baseball. Well, pitchers been using sticky stuff to cheat for a while, they're cracking down on it. Last year they checked the glove and the belt, and then this year they're like, maybe just check their hand to see if that's sticky. It usually looks something like this, the ump just fiddles around with it and says, all right, you're good, see you later. But in this case, Mademone puts his hand out, and the ump just kind of stares at him, and you can see the catcher stops and looks, and he's like, something weird's going on here, and something really weird's going on. Now the best guess is that his umpire is upset with Bumgarner for showing up the home plate umpire, yelling at him as he walked, so he's mad at him, and he is going to massage his hand for sticky stuff and just never look at his hand once, just stare straight at his face, kind of daring eye contact. Mademone feels it happen, looks up, is like, what? And the guy just still staring as he's massaging his hand. It's awkward, it's serial killer stuff, it's bizarre, nobody likes it, it's incredibly uncomfortable, and I don't know, it makes my stomach hurt, and I just, ew, gross. And Mad Bum is finally like, in real time, he looks up, he's like, what are you doing? And he goes, you got something to say? Fuck you. And the ump tosses him, says, get out of here. The Diamondbacks get ready, Tori Lavello, manager, jumps over the railing, badass, athletic, he's gonna come see what's going on. You know what I'm saying, I didn't say a word. I didn't say a word. You're looking at me like I'm gonna do something. Fuck you. I didn't say anything. I'll fuck you up. I didn't say, you will? You will, I'll fuck you up, you will. I will fuck you up, I promise you that I will fuck you up. And he's gonna do the whole, hey, get off me, hey, I'm still yelling here, get off me, get off me, hey, hey, get off me, you fucking pussy. They try to wrangle him up, they get far enough away, Lavello turns around, Dan, what'd you throw him out for? What are you dogging? That's not right. What did he do? And Madbomb's gonna come back around here. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Fuck all you, pussies, both of you. And then, yeah, that's kinda it, man. Then the ump goes back to his way and he's feeling his own hand in a weird, creepy way and he's just, now Tori Lavello's like, oh my God, I gotta go eight innings of bullpen pitching in this game, this stinks. That's kinda the end of it. What's up, MLB? This is not a good look. If this ump goes unpunished, this is not a good look. Really, like for him, as a functioning normal human, bad look, as a authority figure in baseball, bad look, creepy, creepy, very creepy, very creepy, very creepy.