 We heard a powerful message last night about spiritual life. This morning we heard a wonderful message we all worship together as we listen to the resurrection life, the resurrection, the life of the resurrected Jesus. And on our program, the title of what I'm supposed to be talking about is family life. I'm just going to say a little different, life in the family. When I say life in the family, we're talking about resurrected life. The power of the life of the resurrected Jesus. The power, the law of life in Christ Jesus and our families. Let's start, let's read Psalm 128. It's a blessing to be here. This subject is a burden on my heart. It has been for years at home in Costa Rica. Most of our families in our church are all first generation believers. My family's not. Oh, my co-pastor, Antonio Valberto, they married a freezing. She was a second generation, but the rest are all first generation believers. Now we're starting some new families of second generation. But one thing that has been a concern to me is that we're not doing that well and bringing the children in the church. And that's been a burden on our hearts, and I'm sure it is for Brother Dale too. On the first generation Christians, we've... And so I have been seeking for answers and praying about this. How can we strengthen this in our people at home? So it's a wonderful subject, an important subject. Psalms 128, I'm just going to read it. This is a description in the Old Testament of a man that fears God. God's plan for a man who fears God blessed is everyone that feareth the Lord, that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands. Happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house. Thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion. The Lord shall see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children and peace upon Israel. It's got some Old Testament pictures here, but we can interpret that into New Testament. God's will is that we as families, we have united functioning families. We hear a lot about dysfunction families. Our families are one of the most powerful testimonies we have for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Families that function. We should not be ashamed of our families. God wants to use our families as a witness to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It's a very powerful one. Now I'd like to say this quickly too. We're all a family. And if we have single people here, or widows, or widows, and we're people that are not part of a family, we are a family. And we're all together in this. Life in our families, spiritual life in our families. God is very interested in our families. And there's someone else who's very interested in that Satan. Our enemy is attacking our families intently with intention. Intensely. He's trying to destroy our families. And if we have the power of the resurrected Jesus in our families, we're doing well. The enemy can't even get in. Jesus is there. But if we give room to the enemy in our families, he will take advantage of that. The heart issue of a family. Yes, the family we're going to be talking about. And the heart issue of a church family is relationship, is love. You know that, your study, your Bible. Love, where there's love, all the requirements that God has for us are fulfilled. So the purpose is this, is relationship. Is being able to relate. And like I like to say, you know, I don't know, don't do it now. You don't need to do it now. But can you look at your wife, look her in the eyes and smile at her and she'll look at you and smile back? Or will she look down? Same thing is true for your children. Can you look at your children here in the church or outside and look at them and smile and they look at you back and smile open-faced? Or would they look down? The purpose of the families is to show the love of God in human relationship. The success of a man or a woman is his relationships. Not his money, not the car he drives, not the clothes he wears, not the show he makes in public, even in a church service. There's the ability to be able to have good relationships with other people. That starts with our wives and our children. The song of Solomon, which I've had people ask me, why is that book in the Bible? That's a beautiful book in the Bible. And it talks about a love relationship between marriage, between a couple, where there's a genuine love. You can look each other in the eye and smile. That's the purpose and that's what we're seeking for. And if you have that kind of relationship with your children, you have something strong going for you. But for this, how do we reach this? How did Brother Ken say this morning? I can't put it in words. He had an interesting way of saying it. But without the Spirit of God in our hearts, we cannot reach this. Without the Spirit of God in our hearts, you cannot have a good marriage, good relationship with your children, and a good relationship in the church. What is the problem when we have to have good relationships? You know, what the biggest problem we have is we blame others. My problem, my relationships, is my brother. It's him. It's him. My problem with my marriage, my wife. Problem with the children. I just heard about this recently again. It's a children's fault. The problem in our relationships is our own carnality. The enemy of your home is the person you saw in the mirror this morning. And we need to deal with that, and Romans 8 talks about this. They that are in the flesh cannot please God. And in our marriages, if I am in the flesh, I can't have a good marriage. Why not? If I have not experienced the life of Jesus Christ and a genuine repentance, Mark always does the same thing. He defends himself, he's proud, he reacts, he gets upset when anyone steps in his ways and makes it unhandy for him. My wife is a beautiful lady. She's the most wonderful lady in the world. I should say that, don't I? You say that about your wife. But when she's in the flesh, she can become hard to live with. And I'm still worse. To have a good where God is in our families and the blessing. What you want in your family more than anything else is the presence of God and the blessing of the Holy Spirit in your life. And for that we need to deal with our flesh. We need to crucify through the work of the Holy Spirit, crucify our flesh to where we can love, to where we can have a relationship. And I would really like to encourage all of us today. Sometimes we have problems in our churches. Sometimes we have problems. That's a big problem with divorce and remarriage. How many times I've talked to people and they said, we just can't make it. I mean, we just can't live together. The only solution is to get out of it. Why does Jesus not allow divorce and remarriage? Because he does not accept that statement. If we all repent and have the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we can change and we can have good relationships. The problem is, and the problem we have in our relationships is, and I don't know, group this size. I'm sure it's here. Maybe the truth of it is I have my struggles with relationships. But again, I would like to encourage us today. If you're having struggles with your church, if you're having struggles with your wife, your husband, if you're having struggles with your father and your mother, just let the other person go and you work on being able to love the person yourself. That needs the cross of Jesus Christ and the power of the resurrection. But it works. And that's what Jesus wants in our homes. He wants families that stand out. Don't be ashamed of your family. I remember when I was young, remember one time especially, we were, we still lived in Virginia. I was less than 11. I was pretty young and we had nine children at that time. My parents had nine children. I was about 10 years old, I think. And I remember walking down the streets of Charlottesville. And I think we were getting our paperwork to go to Costa Rica or something. We were in all the whole families in town. And dad was up front and there was these nine children and mom in the back and keeping this little herd of chicks together, you know. And my brother, Tim, he was my oldest when he said, I'm ashamed of this walking to town, this big family. And dad Grandin says, I have struggled with not being proud. Don't be ashamed of your families. They're wonderful. And if you can have a family where God, where the spirit of God is working, it is evidence. We need that more than ever. Our solution, our world is going from bad to worse. Just the last few years, Costa Rica just fun. Two years ago, just two years ago allowed the homosexual marriage. Our culture is going backwards fast. What do we do about it? Don't waste time protesting and trying to change the government. You won't want to accomplish any help. We need families that show, that show. I had the opportunity of inviting a young European into my family in our home while he stayed there a few days. And he was from Europe. And Europe, you know, for years now, they have been so atheistic. And he said, I have never believed in God. I believe in fairy tales. That's where he was brought up. But when he saw our family, he had been with other families. He said, I see something. I see something. Because my parents never, they're always squabbling, always arguing, never get along with each other. And your children sing as they work. Your daughters are washing dishes and singing. Because I see something. He was there a few days and we talked, I had so much fun. I enjoyed it so much telling him stories about Jesus and about God. And when I left, I asked him, what's happening to your faith? What's happening? He says, I think it's coming. I think it's coming. But our families are a powerful witness. Don't waste time trying to change the government. You realize during the time of the Roman Empire, abortion was also allowed. It was practiced. You realize that the homosexual was rampant too. Some of the emperors were homosexuals. And what does the New Testament talk about? It's clear on homosexuality. It's clear. It didn't even mention abortion. In the year of 100, they wrote this, it's called The Teaching of the Apostles of the Didache. And in that, it says, we Christians should not murder and in mentions unborn babies. That's about the extent of it. It's rest, it's all clear. But there was no, the New Testament waste no time trying to change the Roman Empire. Trying to get in there and protest and marches and write letters and trying to change the Roman Empire. Don't waste time doing that. But what we can do and what we should do in our calling from God is keep our families intact. Mom and dad love each other. The children love to be at home. There's life in our homes and the families, and the world says, wow, wow. Satan knows that and Satan is attacking our families. He's been doing that for years and he's still attacking our families. I would like to encourage all of us to be very alert to the work of Satan. I've seen so often where fathers and mothers are worshiping God and praising God and they're neglecting their children and the children sitting back here maybe with a smartphone on the internet. Mom and dad don't even think about it. And Satan's standing back grinning. Just give me a little time. Just give me a little time. Mom and dad will let them go on but just let me keep working with the children. Satan is trying to destroy our families. We need to be alert on that. I encourage you to pray about that. Now, I'd like to talk a little bit about the relationships in the home. What is the problem? When I married my wife, oh, it was so exciting. Wow. But after some months and a few years, what happens? What happens that we lose that freedom of looking each other in the face and smile? What happens? First of all, we're human. We fail. We make mistakes. But one of our biggest problems, one of my problems is I was 27 when I got married and I'll just make this confession here in public. I thought I was sort of mature. I thought I'm probably by 27. I'm surely ready to get married. What do you think? You know what marriage did? My wife says the same thing. Marriage revealed to me my tremendous selfishness. I learned a level of dying to self that I didn't realize was even there. But our problem with our carnal nature, fathers, please listen to me. And I know why I'm saying this. Your carnal nature, your anger, your frustration, you hurt the people you love the most. You hurt the most. Just the other day I was talking to a young man. I've been witnessing to him for a while and he was sitting on my porch and he said, you know, I'm so glad. I left. I was able to I'm thinking a Spanish word, the visu of smoking. I was able to get rid of smoking and I was able to quit my habit and the lottery. I still have some things to work on and knowing him a little bit. I said, you know one thing, we often hurt the people we love the most. And then he said, yes, you're right. He started shedding tears. He's bigger than I am, but he sat there and started shedding tears. And then he told me this story. He had bought two glasses. I'm not sure was it glasses or some kind of containers drank without. And he said, I had one day and I really thought they were nice and I had one sitting beside me and my little daughter, she was about 3 years old came running by and kicked it and broke it. And he said, I'm ashamed, but I got so mad, I got up and I whipped, I lashed her and I scolded her. He said, later I felt so bad that glass wasn't worth much. Then a little later the girl, I don't know what she was washing it or what, she broke the other one. And I don't think he was there to hear it. I'll just, mommy, please don't tell daddy, please don't tell daddy, I'm scared of daddy. Please don't tell daddy. And he said the tears and his eyes says, Mark, I don't want to have that kind of relationship with my daughter. I think probably every father sitting here tonight understands that. Our anger, our frustration, our carnal nature. We hurt the people we love the most. We hurt our wives with harsh words. And then is when distance starts. The wives can do the same thing. Mothers can do the same thing, of course. Mothers and other carnality can also hurt their children. And I would like to encourage us to look at some of this seriously, because if you build a wall between you and your child, your child's not going to want to be where you are and not going to follow the church you're in. And we've all done that. My daughter, Darkis, is here. I'm so glad. My wife knows that I have done things that I have failed enough that she could be bitter at me. But I praise the Lord that she has forgiven me and we love each other. I fail. You fail. I've wished I could be a perfect father. Though all the power is there, the Holy Spirit and power, the resurrection is there, but we still fail. I've decided, well, at least one thing I'm going to try to do is to show them what a struggling father, is to make things right. And so in my family, it's pretty common to be asked each other forgiveness and make things right. I'm sorry for getting upset. And I want them to see, I want them that nothing else they can learn from me how to handle their carnal nature and submit to the Spirit. And I hope my children can see that Dad is growing in these areas. He's getting better. But our need, our problem is, and wives too, is our carnal nature. Our defensiveness. And when you men have the trouble I sometimes have, my wife wants to give me a word of and say something that she thinks is not quite right and inside me I feel this thing like my heart is going just easy, turn away and walk away from. Is that the right spirit instead of opening my heart and listening? And so I would like to encourage us in this and that we learn how to walk in the Spirit to make the Spirit a reality in our life we need to repent, we need to accept our pride, we need to accept our frustrations. And I'd like to put this into, you know I know, I have the struggle to is put on a show up front in front of people. In front of people I try to show you I'm a very spiritual man that I really worship the Lord and I really know what I've seen some men doing that and look back and I do this sometimes. I look back at his wife and she's looking down at her shoes because if you're a spiritual person you are at home and then when you're in public you don't need to try to make an impression, just be who you are. But if you're a spiritual man at home everyone will see it. You don't need to make oppression in front of people but we need to start at home I'd like to encourage you to start at home. Okay, well let's start this course now, tomorrow, when Monday you go home again. We're going to start this course I'm going to start taking care of some husband and wife both, these carnal areas that come up, these frustrations, these moments of anger, these moments of conflict. Why do we have conflicts in our marriage? Hey, it's not your wife's fault, it's not the husband's fault, it's your fault, partly your fault. Once you can forget the other person and say, I'm going to work at this Lord, help me, I'm going to work at this. Let my wife say the same thing again and again and again until I learn to respond right until I can humble myself and not defend myself and be humble. Start working that way and you'll see your marriage will change fast. We need to all do that that our children can see that in us. The basic responsibility of a husband and we're very good at trying to I'm sorry, I keep thinking Spanish words, we're very good at trying to win over a woman's heart. There's another better word for that Brother Dale, what is it anyway? When we're young and we're dating, we're very good at winning the woman's heart. Conquer, conquer the lady's heart. Isn't that a challenge? Hey, that's married men. Then it's not as easy quite when we're married. Then we get sort of hardened and we sort of harden our hearts. And there's sometimes a reason, you know we sort of harden our hearts, but we should have a heart and my daughter's present I've been working at that. You know what, it's like to get upset getting ready to go to church getting on time in church. The husband goes out and sits in the car beep beep beep I had one case where the wife ran out and said, hey, let me blow the horn. You really put the drastic children. Let me blow the horn. That was a good idea. It's been a while back that I haven't struggled with that as much anymore, but there's still this inner thing and I've been trying Lord help me and I don't mind, my wife is very possibly listening to this right now myself. I don't mind them knowing that I'm trying to learn the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ in a moment of conflict that I can humble myself and listen instead of hardening my heart. I'm sorry, but that happens sometimes. I don't like someone just turning my back and walk off. I didn't say a word but I just but anyway, this type of thing I would like to encourage you to make this an issue, each one of you yourself. Don't worry. Maybe the Lord is going to want your wife or your husband to keep on being a little laundry. No, I'm shouldn't say that. The Lord doesn't want anyone to be on her. But anyway, maybe the Lord will anyway, if she does or he does, the Lord can use that to develop you. You know, the power of the Holy Spirit is more than is sufficient to always respond right and respond love, respond humbly and kindly. Now, the basic responsibility in the Bible, you've studied your Bibles, I don't need to spend much time with this but the Bible, I have read a lot some books on marriage and I have a bunch of them but basic issues in counseling marriage and helping marriage and my own marriage is what the Bible says. The husband should love his wife and cherish her and care for her and the wife should submit and respect her husband. Those are two basic issues. Most marriage problems are related to these two issues. It might come into finances and some other issues but still that's the basic problem. As a man, we need to learn to become like Jesus to where we can listen to the heart. You can hear her heart and our women are very emotional, you know that? Yes we do. They'll cry easy and they look at things from an emotional perspective and sometimes we think it's silly or whatever but listen, open your heart to your wife, listen to her care for her. If she has fears listen to that. You heard me say that? Darkest? Darkest heard me say that? Listen when the wife has fears that I think are not reasonable. Care for her. Really care for the person instead of just sort of hmm to care and to nourish and love your wife and then so that you can look in each other's eyes like you did when you were dating and smile. You probably still can't, can't you? The wife's responsibility is basically to respect and honor the husband. To submit, to respect and honor him. And here again it's one of the problems in this issue of respecting and honoring and loving is we tend to focus on the other person's problem. As long as I focus on my wife's weaknesses and she's a wonderful woman but she has them. I'm focusing on those and I'm focusing on those and I think it's her fault. We get nowhere and she's focusing on mine. We get nowhere. When I start seeing my own mistakes I'm going to work in my own heart in my own problem. So wives you need to submit to your husband even if you think sometimes he's not worthy of submitting to but if you can submit to him at all times and love him and respect him and honor him you have a power I've heard my brother Phil say not long ago he says women have a power that a lot of women don't realize they have and it's not the power of complaining, it's not the power stomping their feet and raising their voice and defending their rights. It's the power of submission, humbly honoring and respecting and trusting the man to make the decisions and wow then all the people once we listen wow. So I would encourage all of us to work at that each to our part in working at that each to our own responsibility that can get so bad that's where divorce comes in that the person says if I would only have another woman it would be easier I really doubt that I really doubt that listen with the power of the resurrection Jesus you should be able to live with whichever woman you have and love her and honor her in spite of how she mistreats other is true too and so what I'm trying to say is we need to focus on our own and not focus on the other and we need to accept our weaknesses and our differences my wife and I and Dorcas my wife is a perfectionist she's detailed I mean when I leave home I have everything in the suitcase I'll need and more she thinks of everything and when we go to church she some of you probably do that too she goes around make sure the iron is disconnected that the oven is off she makes sure she has saved me so much money I mean she has been such a blessing her carefulness you know what she's told me because I don't I'm careless I mean I'm looking out I'm ready to go and leave things behind me that are not the way they should be she is a tremendous blessing but that can cause friction when I'm in a hurry to go hey let's go it's time to get to church and then she starts checking this and checking that and doing this and doing that and I say come on honey let's go and she has a struggle if he would only be a little more careful if he would think about some of these things but what I'd like to encourage today is this accept and appreciate our differences my wife's over I'll just say her carefulness has been a tremendous blessing to me darkest and hoes I mean I need her and I need Dorcas too she's keeping in line now no she does it in the right way she's not nothing wrong but my family's concerned about my getting enough rest of my just having COVID recently so she's supposed to watch me if you see her pull up my elbow it's not that she's bossing me she's simply saying dad you need to go rest but we need to accept the differences between us you know one of us is always pretty well all of us is more careless the other one is more detailed the other one is more spends the money more the other is more careful with the money we're all different I'm glad we are can you imagine if my wife would be like me I mean maybe you can but dark is good if my wife would be the same wow we'd have problems but I have some strong points she has some strong points and together we can make a pretty good team look at it that way your wife's differences your husband's differences appreciate that I have a son the same he's like his mother he's so careful he does things so right one time we were unloading a load of blocks he meant blocks you know we're unloading them and I just get in there and I like to do it so I was grabbing these blocks and my son we'd get two of them at a time and he get them down carefully he get the next he set it down carefully he set it down carefully inside of me I was like come on Caleb let's just do it but when our stack was about this high his was standing real straight real good mine was just about going over so appreciate our differences you know instead of resenting some things that have been bothering us we appreciate it my wife has been a tremendous blessing to me I appreciate that so much remember this the single relationship with your husband wife is not only about you it's about your own feelings it's going to affect your children really I know darkness can tell you it's not that hard for my wife and I to get conflict conflict conflict conflict I've had my son tell me dad it's about time you take mommy for a hamburger take mommy for a date why did he say that my dates I do the cheap thing but dad he sees there's conflict going on and I appreciate my son reminding that I wish I would have been ahead but he's told me dad don't seem to be good to take mom for a date go get a hamburger because you know it's it affects the family when there's conflict conflict we can you know when your carnality you can conflict about anything we separated over an egg what was it over an egg and super glue I have no idea what the argument was but dad it was the dumbest thing you can imagine but we got so mad we held on to this no one would give in and we ended up one way and one another at least for a few days I'm not sure if it's permanent I forget now but you know what I mean you can conflict about anything what's the problem it's my carnal nature and like Tim like brother Ken remind us this morning we need to power the resurrection to humble ourselves and ask for the spirit of God to lead us so I would encourage you with that and like brother Dale said if you have your family has been through a lot and you feel like you failed you feel like you've blown it you can never recuperate it that's not true and the first the best thing you can do is humble yourself surrender that yourself and ask for the spirit of the Holy God to come in you to be a kind gentle loving husband or wife some people some of us have had long years of habit of griping griping griping complaining complaining complaining but to the power of the resurrected Jesus that can change first of all you need to accept your own problem you have to repent and call out to God and he can help you and if you have a marriage maybe your children are older and you've lost them I have seen so many cases where a man has young children he's in the church and he's happy and he's praising the Lord and all at once when the child turns 12, 13 to 14 he's shocked all at once he realized he's lost his father his children's heart and they try so hard to recuperate it and it can be but the damage is often done there's so many families here with little children I've been blessed to see all your little children and these young couples I love children and I love your I like to see that but I would really like to encourage you and one of the main thing is that you be a father despite you be a spirit filled man that the spirit of the Holy God is really guiding you you're a humble man you can listen to accusations you can listen to problems without getting upset without getting all worked up and raise your voice and bang on the table you ever try that? I hope you didn't but I know one man got so upset and he wanted to impress his family he turned around and he started robusting the siding on the wall did it in that? No, we lost it but we can learn to be humble be quiet, listen when the Bible says in 1 Peter 3 that we men should use our heads we should think with wisdom about our wives when there's a problem stop and think before you talk pray and ask God to help you how do I as a spiritual father help in this situation and if you have blown your home and you have things have not going the way maybe you came to Christ just recently and your family is already in dysfunctional the best thing you can do is you find you humble yourself you have that broken heart that brother Dale talked about yesterday and you have the Spirit of God in your presence and your children see he's a different man and the wives too now, I'd like to talk a little bit wait a minute what time am I supposed to end it's time to quit almost the same thing I'd like to talk a little bit about parent-children relationship I would please like to encourage you I see you couple here with young children please may I say that as an older man with white hair I still think I'm young but my look in the mirror I have to accept that I'm getting older but please please young couples young those all these little children and then you know take time for your family they're the most important thing God has given you your wife and your own salvation but those children please don't neglect your children for work for money when you're on your deathbed you don't care what happened to your money what about your children I'm not going to ask of course not but if I go around and ask a lot of these young people how many of you felt like your father neglected you because he was so busy making money if I'd ask him to raise their hands you think anyone would raise their hands a lot of them will sometimes there's a father in the home but there's not a father for the heart be humble take time listen oh they can talk oh they talk and they ask so many questions listen to those silly little questions talk with them do it now when they're little so you can keep on doing it when they're 12 13 14 listen to them take time take time with your family and do activities together you know what I told someone I told two men just last few months I said please take time when I'm looked at me a little funny and I said that would help you develop some things in your life take time and play games with your children I've been doing that a little more I've been playing what's that on the room at Q I can't even pronounce them right there's some games that we've been having a lot of fun we've been playing Chinese checkers with my children my age at one time there was a home that was dysfunctional and one of the oldest son is now my co-minister at that time he was still in the world his father was a member of the church and the home had serious problems some of the children some of them had not talked with each other for getting out with it two or three or four years living in the same home some of them had not talked with their father for two or three years and they lived in the same home they were working with him helping him we had a meeting where the father first asked forgiveness you wouldn't imagine the tears there was one daughter that sat there and just bawled she sat there for about half an hour and just cried and cried and cried but you know what I told them to do later I took a memory game you know those little games of memory those little memory games that children like to play you want to have a good time with your grandchildren you want to play memory with your grandchildren I enjoyed that but then I took this memory game and they had an old house that's been some years ago Tonya was still single he was still in the world they just had candles in around and they had this old wooden table and we set out the memory game on the table and there stood dad there stood the children around the table and oh they were laughing and having fun as they were flipping these cards and oh they laughed it was one of the memory game how it works and I just sat back and just smiled take time play games with your children take time most important one of the most important things you have to do is to win your children take time with your children show interest in their interest and you know making money you need to make we need a certain amount of money yeah we need a certain amount of money to make a living to cover the costs but it's much more important to win your children's heart and to provide all the clothes and all the things for them take time with your children and as a father we need to discipline disciple them we need to teach as a father we're responsible to take the children and teach them this is what you do this is what you don't do I've been reading through Proverbs recently and we see that a lot in Proverbs the thing of listen to your fathers do this, don't do this, listen to your father listen and anyway love anyhow your children need your approval father do you realize that might be 3 years old, might be 5 years old don't wait till they're 12 and try to do it or 14 when they're already rebelling against you your children need to have the smile of approval and if you ever see me, I haven't known for a while if you ever see me look across the crowd and wink you'll know that over there is either one of my daughters or someone there I can look at her and wink connection here take time for your children build that relationship and because we are sometimes harsh we cause and mothers too or because we're so busy making sure everything is just right and we lose the hearts it's not worth it and your children need to have the approval from dad and we're talking supposed to do it in 7 minutes tonight how to love the father listen what the impact this is an introduction to that by the way but children should have need desperately need the approval of a father and if you don't have a father we'll talk about that tonight maybe briefly but that is much more important than buying another car hey, drive the old car again another few years if you have to spend time and if you've blown it and your children are older and your children hardly have don't respect you anymore try to plan something you do something together go fishing with them now I don't believe in wasting time fishing just wasting all kinds of money and time on fishing but I've went fishing and I should do it more but I'm fishing from my boys' hearts I'm fishing from my boys' hearts and if you have lost your thing do something with your boys or your girls that they enjoy, have a grill do something together they feel the love of a father but your children need that real love, real communication take time and help children to learn I need to wrap this up have children to learn relationships some of us, we have a hard time getting along with our church one of the best things you can do for your children is show them how to relate to difficult circumstances and humble yourself and love and meet, if you have someone that has a hard time invite them over I remember one time, it blessed me so much there was a sister that I knew was having struggles with me and probably had reason and what was I I was going to be leaving somewhere and she and her husband came over with a big pizza she knew that I like pizza and I knew what she was doing she was trying to build bridges and build a relationship take time to build relationships remember, the success you have in life is the relationships you have not the money you have it's the relationships three years old 15, 25, 26 30 years old spend time to heal and restore I'll just say this briefly we need to also learn how to minister, Lord help us we need the spirit of the living God in the world we live today some of our children are going to get into things they shouldn't some of your children are going to get into pornography and I'm all for doing all you can to avoid it we have a pretty strict control on our telephones and our laptops I appreciate so much EMI people let me see what was the one I was talking about this afternoon there's another one Compass I appreciate them so much they're providing for the conservative people a way to control that but in spite of that you might have a child or have with someone in your family that has a fall, that has a downfall serious problem friends, when fathers start pulling their hair and what do I do you need the spirit of the living God if your son comes to you and confesses it to you, that's a wonderful thing but that's not enough that's a good start we need to take time and help him work through this problem we need the spirit of the living God to help us, mothers too to help our children even when they've messed up and they've failed and they feel like a failure can you imagine the little baby used to hold the little three-year used to play with and now he's 15, 16 and he's failed and he feels like a dirty mess what should dad do what should dad do, scold him oh, you can tell him that he should have been more careful but there's a time when they need the arms of death maybe what you don't do is we Latin Americans we like to hug each other we like to put our arms around each other but they need time they need dad to say son, I care son, I love you, I want to help you our daughter I feel like I've just barely touched a few things but the main thing we need in our families is the spirit of the living God and when the spirit of God is we have a humble broken heart broken heart that can communicate you've had a son that you have years of conflict, conflict I've seen that conflict, conflict, conflict, conflict what can you do to change that you can the spirit of the living God have a humble heart a sensitive heart I heard my dad my oldest brother's not a believer I heard my dad just six months ago he's done it many, many times over and again I heard my dad say again I heard him say son I'm sorry, forgive me forgive me for the times I hurt you when you were young my brother's older than I am and dad's a 91 he's done that again and again and of course my brother says oh dad that's alright but we need to do that sometimes forgive me for my anger forgive me for my frustration and so many other things God bless you, what we need is the spirit of the resurrected Jesus in our homes in our hearts God bless you