 Welcome back. Hey, we have to book Eddie Brill, Alex. And he lives in walking distance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's five blocks from here. Why we need to have, why haven't we had Eddie Brill on the show? I mean, it's insane. He used to do the show all the time. You know it. Now Eddie worked, Eddie used to book the comics for Letterman. By the way, let me introduce John Fish. Hello. I was his last new comic. Really? Well, I might have been his last comic. Hmm, yeah. And then he got fired because of you. That was because of me. Joe Matarice was so nice. He texted me. He goes, that set was so great. They should give Eddie his job back. Well, we have New York stand-up royalty in this room. I didn't realize that both Corey Cahaney and yeah, we're in that club. John Fish, not only have done Letterman, but you've done Stephen Colbert. That speaks volumes because you would think they... Well, anyway, that's quite an accomplishment. Yeah, I'm proud of it. And I'm proud to have the two of you on the show because I... I thought your set was great, John. Thanks, you too. Let me give you... It was like stressful too because you had to do like a... It seemed like a political live thing, right? I did it during the Republican convention. Yeah. In Cleveland or back in New York? He was doing live shows in studio during the Republican convention. So I went on that show. So it was live. He taped it at whatever, 12.40 at night. People don't realize the chops that that takes. When it goes well, they're like, oh, yeah, it's easy for comics to do, but it's like... It could have been so great. It takes somebody that's a veteran that's done dozens of TV sets. It was stressful, but it was still fine. It was live. It was live. Live. Was it political? Yeah. But that's also my savvy. I sent them a political set and I said, what do you think? And that's the sechel, the smarts. I just sent them... I knew the set they would want and I sent it and they said, yeah, we'd love you to do it and that was it. But that's hard because that's not necessarily what you would do if you picked five at that time from your act, you know? Right. But I'm actually working on something that I'd really love to do on Colbert again, which is sort of about the future of healthcare. I think those kind of things are intriguing to them. And you're a political... No, I had two political jokes. I built a set around it. John Fish is a stand-up comedian. He's appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and The Late Show with David Letterman. He's been featured in Maxim Magazine. You've seen him on Last Comic Standing season four. He was the host of the wildly popular podcast. What was the wildly popular... I don't know. Is it widely or wildly? I never knew. I'm... I think it's different in each of my bios. And what is the popular podcast? What is it? I did this podcast called In the Tank. Right. A few years ago. And it was, you know, it was Comedy Talk. Comedy Talk before it was... Get it, Fish Tank? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, John, too. There's a tank and a John. Yeah. Oh, true. I immediately thought John... The other. It was a pun on it. I had friends that were like three years into the podcast were like, would text me like, I just got it. John Fish. I usually try not to be too on the nose, but that one I didn't get on the nose enough. John Fish hosted a podcast called In the Tank. What years were you doing that? I think we were maybe 07 or 09. My God. You... Definitely in the 09 to... Maybe 09 to... Yeah, definitely in that area. It was a real start of the podcast scene. And who'd you do it with? My buddy Dan Allen was the producer. And my buddy Dan Shacky was like the funny third mic sidekick. I know Dan Shacky's brother Jackie, the comedian. Jackie Shacky? Oh. Hey, kill me. This is... Is that somebody? Is that a real person? No. He can't stop. He started with the puns. I can't start, is the problem. I cannot start. So, yes, your other TV appearances... Other TV appearances include Comedy Central's Premium Blend, been on VH1, Celebrity Apprentice. Yeah. Three men and a chick flick on the WE Network and you were the host. You were on Celebrity Apprentice. Yeah, I got to update this bio. Yeah, we did a show, you know, that one of their... The celebrities' things was that they had to put on a show. And, you know, obviously to, you know, raise enough money. Whoever raised more money won or whatever. And we were... It was kind of a cool experience. But for the actual show, we were sort of a real afterthought because, you know, in order for them to, like, get a lot of money, the celebrities exhausted their celebrity contacts. And so, like, our show ended up being Jimmy Fallon doing a song with this country singer who was super nice. But what were you doing? We were doing... We were supposed to be three of us on each team. So, I think I was on a team with... Oh, so you weren't a celebrity. No, no, no. We were the comedians who were booked part of their teams, yeah. Uh-huh. And I think Rachel Feinstein was on it and Wally Collins and Jessica Carson and... That's a good show. It was a good show. And what celebrities were you working with? Well, LaToya Jackson was the team leader. And I had to ask her for permission to go to the Gap to get a new shirt because I only had one black shirt that didn't have a logo. And when we asked her what we should wear for the appearance, she said, I see you all in black. I was on the regular apprentice. Oh, really? Oh, wow. Yeah. I caused the team to lose. What happened? It was... He really threw me under the bus, Trump. And... You met Trump? No, but I didn't meet him. But he said, you know, you booked a... He said you booked a comic who dropped the F-bomb and they didn't like it. And so, you know, I think you have to bear the responsibility of it. And the next... You were the comic who used the F-bomb? Well, let me... I did a golf open and I was doing a golf joke. I have one golf joke. And the joke is, you guys play golf and they say yes. And I say, you spent $250,000 a year to stand in the woods and say fuck. And it's a great... That is a great joke. It kills. It's a great joke. It's not a fuck joke. Right. And I actually got a big laugh. But they blamed that joke for losing. The next day, Joy Behar, though, talked about it on the view, defended me and put me on the phone. And I explained, you know, what happened. And she was really... What year was this? I'm going to say, I don't know... It was before Celebrity... Yeah. The Celebrity Princess came after the regular apprentice. So proud. I think it was the year before you. Okay. And who did you meet, John Fish? Well, there was Meatloaf. I don't want to know what they served. I want to know... By the way, Corey... He had a meltdown on that, I think. He had a meltdown? Yeah. I'm blanking on the country singer. But I think it's John Rich. John Richie? Is that... Okay. Is there any country fans here? He was super sweet and nice and great. And then Lil John was the other guy on our team. Those three. Yeah. But so they ended up getting Fallon. So we all ended up doing two or three minutes of comedy. And it was fun. And Kevin Klein and Phoebe Cates were in the audience. Were you on camera? Yeah. We had some... Yeah. Yeah. But it was... And they were raising money for charity. Yes. So if it's Trump, as we all know when you raise money for children's cancer... They take it. You keep it. Yeah. That's great. Did you read about this? Yeah. I just saw a headline on Twitter that he is keeping... Or kept money. Well, I know he didn't actually make the donation to the veterans when he swore that he would do that, you know, from Mar-a-Lago, right? Mm-hmm. But this cancer thing's new. The cancer thing is apparently one of the idiot kids decided to have a fundraiser for children's cancer. One of the idiot kids claims to be very involved with St. Jude's, which is a great organization. St. Jude's turns nobody away. So what one of the idiot sons did is he held this golf tournament at one of the Trump golf resorts and said all the proceeds will go to St. Jude. So it was done without St. Jude really knowing about this. They just used St. Jude. The Trumps are like sketchy comedy producers. Yeah. So they got everybody to cough up, you know, 20 grand. And they were using the name St. Jude's. So okay, I'll be a part of this. It's going to St. Jude's. And Donald said, you cannot use my golf course to raise money for St. Jude's. We have to get money for this. You have to pay the fee. I'm not giving this to St. Jude's. So the Trump kid had to pay to use the Trump golf course in order to do the fundraiser for St. Jude's. And they got billed hundreds of thousands of dollars. Oh, so some money did end up going to St. Jude's. No. None. None. Wow. It cost more money to rent the place. To rent the place then. But that is the misnomer of a lot of these fancy fundraisers in New York City. I mean, where you see them all the time and they're charging $250 a person, but it's at the plaza or it's at, you know, it's at the Waldorf. And when they're done with it, they really are only ending up with like $20 a person in terms. It was just an excuse to throw the big party, to have the big party, to plan the big party. And the donations often are very, very small. And also to get the people on their mailing list to hopefully they'll be recurring. Yes. And then they do the auction is where they really try to make the money, where they try to upsell and make people embarrassed and donate. But this stuff happens all the time. I mean, he's right. A lot of comedians have been caught doing this. There was a comedian on a ship who was selling, I'm not going to say the name, who was selling his CDs. And he said, but if you want to buy one for the troops, you can buy a second one and I'll ship it to the troops. And apparently like the next day he just took those CDs, they were going to troops and he sold those. Well, maybe he goes home and mails them to the troops. Maybe. Could be. Maybe. Maybe. People are bad. Some people are bad. Yeah. Trump is just bad. Yeah. I worked on the Comedy Central roast of Donald Trump and I have it from Good Authority. He said he didn't need the money. He was doing the roast for Comedy Central for charity. Right. Well, he said it on the air. Right. I have it on Good Authority that they never found out where he sent the money. That he didn't give it to charity. That is the current commander-in-chief. I would love, and all the Trump supporters would probably, I'd love to hear them explain that one away. Well, he's a busy man. He has a lot going on. What do you live times worried about? Come on. You count every dollar? You count every dollar? You don't know. You don't know. What are we going to do without him when he has his stroke? That's the only way. He's going to have his massive stroke. You think? Yeah. I mean, after the initial celebratory phase, I guess we just settle in and get life back. Right? Are we going to miss him? No. I never, that's my thing is that, like, how do these people that support, like, did you like him ever? Like, he's just not a good person. He's never been somebody that I've been like, like, I remember when I did Celebrity Apprentice, people were like, did you meet him? And now, like, I didn't even think to want to, you know? Like, he's not like a person that I would like to meet. I think in the very beginning, when he would say some of those, you know, inflammatory things, there was a big smile on my face, you know? Oh, yeah. Of like, that is hilarious that this guy can do this, you know? And good for him that he speaks his mind, not thinking that that's what everyone wanted. And, you know, I kind of enjoyed the entertainment. I'm scarier that that he is who he is or that so many people like that. I think a lot of people are in a bubble and they're not affected by anything he does, including the poor people who voted for him. They're in a bubble and there's really nothing they can gain or lose by a national election. At least that's what they figure. That's, you know, so they just want to see something funny on the TV. I don't know. They got it. I also think that Michael Moore, the thing that he did, the five reasons why Trump is going to win. Remember that? He published that. Well, he had the breakdown of all the reasons why they were, and my favorite one was, number four, when you get in that booth and you're all by yourself, there's going to be people who say, I just want to see what's going to happen. And I do think a lot of people fall into that category. Yeah. Which is why he shouldn't have that red button, Trump, because. He's one of those people. He's one of those people. I just want to see, does it really work? I mean, if I press it, it really, what happens? Do you think he could launch a nuclear attack? He's so, no, I don't think so. I don't think he would. What I'm saying is, do you think he can? As in, do you think he can pick up the phone and say, I want you to nuke this? Rosie is up in the Hamptons. We have the coordinates. I want a mid-sized nuclear weapon truck. Yeah. You know, it's like, that's the stuff that's beyond my realm. I could never imagine that happening for real. So it's like, I couldn't imagine anybody doing it. But like, I guess if someone is, yeah, he would be. Does he have to clear it through Mattis or McMaster? I mean, he just can't order a nuclear airstrike, right? So I have the safest place to be during a nuclear. I know. I feel like we need a civics expert here. Yeah. No, I'm just saying, I don't think. You know, what is it? You have to have the generals there? You got to have, I mean, there's, you know, Jeff Sessions, although, you know, he's so afraid of him now. I don't think anybody would obey his order. I just think if I, right? I don't know. We have no idea what really goes on. What happens? Well, it is bad. Things are really bad, and they're going to get worse. I'm just, I'm being glib. The economy is bad. They say it's good, but it's bad, right? Well, I think the thing that is going to be bad is if something does happen, an impeachment or he is removed from power. We are going to take a dive in the stock market. And so everyone who has retirement, you know, savings and accounts and all of these people are going to say, you see, he was much better for the country. I don't think that many people have money in the stock market. I think it's mostly institutions. I like that many people. Every dime I have is in Cheesecake Factory. I think that's the way to go. And that's just a sandwich from the Cheesecake Factory in the freezer. I called my people. I said, I said, the lines are crazy. I want every dime on Cheesecake Factory. I'm just impressed. You have people. The Cheesecake Factory is pretty amazing. In LA, they had one. They keep opening it everywhere I go. There's a new one. And it's not about the cheesecake. No, cheesecake is terrible. It's about the portions. It's the portions and they have a burrito there. I haven't eaten there since I moved from LA. I also think with the whole climate change, this is another opportunity for investing. I think that countries that wouldn't ordinarily have air conditioning are going to need it. So this is the time, like whatever company would sell air conditioners to Canada, this is a good time to invest? I think it's a good time to invest in cruise ships. Oh, because it's the only safe vacation you could take? Have you worked a cruise ship? I have not. I'm figuring that Pruitt and Spillerton, Rex Spillerton, when they think of climate change, they go, you know, we go on cruises, it's fantastic. So I could live on a cruise. Could you live on a cruise ship for the rest of your life? I'd prefer not to, but you know, you're absolutely right. Now they can do the Northwest Passage. I mean, Northeast Passage, they can actually go from Alaska to Montreal because of global warming. The ice caps have shifted and they couldn't do that before. All right, so if there's massive flooding, I was reading that 40% of Florida is in danger of just being underwater. Now, I love some people from Florida, but 40% of, we're going to lose 40% of Florida. But doesn't that mean Manhattan's going to go under too? Well, let's just, can I at least enjoy 40% of Florida disappearing? Unfortunately, the counties that went for gore in 2000. I'm curious, could people say we'll build these massive floating, I mean, have you seen some of these cruise ships? You know, I've never been on one, but I was doing that Aruba gig with Ray Ellen and we drove by where like six of them were docked. They're cities. And it was, I could not, I could not believe how they were. They are entire cities. I mean, I heard things like, I remember Tom Cotter was on one when Ted Alexandra was on with like Lewis Black or something and they just met one night and they were like, what are you doing here? And he's like, well, I'm the cruise comic on this side. Like two comics that know each other well didn't know they were on the same ship. So you can put like 25,000 people on a cruise ship, right? No. No, that's too many. I think right now the max is six, 6,000. But there's one that's just... That's it. Like an aircraft carrier. That's the 6,000 one. That's a lot of people though. That's a lot of people. I mean, if one person gets sick and it's, you know, it's a foodborne illness, it's dangerous, very dangerous. But there's what about doctor, you know, what's his name? From the love boat. Capell. Yeah. Right? Capell? I love that guy. Those doctors, they were from 10 to 11 in the morning and from three to four. I've been on ship, so I know. Is there really a doctor on the boat? It has to be. Yeah. Matter of fact, they can take off without the captain. They can't take off without the doctor. Wow. And what does he do? I don't know. Basically, he mans the morgue. There's always dead people on the ship. Like from the trip? Or like they're going from one place to another? There's always a death. I'm told it's always within the first 24 hours. Wow. Somebody dies. And they can't stop, so they have a morgue, you know. So don't have the shrimp cocktail, because that ice is probably. Is that in the pamphlet? We have a 300 seat comedy club and a morgue. Well, you know, they do these cheesy tours where you get to see the galley. And I was like, did they ever show the morgue in these tours, in these behind the scenes tours? Also, they have that is like that under that category. Listen, you hear stories. Well, they're registered in Libya. They're never registered in America, which means the crew can commit crimes and then be tried in Libya. Yeah, but you have to adhere to certain laws. When you dock in New York, you know, they come on and they inspect and they want to make sure things are... Listen, I'd rather have them adhere to Libyan laws than the laws in Manhattan. They're more likely to be enforced. Judge Judy lives on a cruise. What? An apartment on the world cruise. The world cruise is a condominium that is 12 months a year at sea. And if you own a condominium on it, you join the ship where, you know, you look it up. Okay, they're going to be in Monte Carlo. We'll fly there. We'll stay on for a couple of months. What? People have... It's another animal. They're not human. The kind of life that certain people lead. Judge Judy, it's a condominium. So it's like an apartment on a ship. And there's a full-time staff person that takes care of her condominium. You know that movie, The Diner or Diner? We were just talking about it. We were just talking about it. Me and my dad always go over that scene where, what's his name? Daniel Stern. I forget if he's talking to Paul Reiser or not, but they're just... One of them is like, you ever get the feeling that there's a whole other world out there that we just don't know about? Yes! Something like that. I love that. There's so many times that that happens to me. And that was one of them just now. It's just like, I would never... I could have died without knowing that. About the morgue? Yeah, I would know about the condominium thing. That would never come into my sphere. Right. And here... Okay, I worked for a guy who had an amazing house. I used to go up there. The first time I went up, it was designed by Stanford White or is it Sanford White? It was Stanford White. He was the one who was murdered in ragtime. It was the only house designed by Sanford White in California. It was a masterpiece. By the way, Alex, did you see Dick Cavett selling his house in the Hamptons? Yes. Well, what is it? 56 million? 56 million. It was designed by Stanford White. Wow. And it burnt down and he rebuilt it to spec. So I walked into this house and it was breathtaking. It was beyond anything I had ever seen in my life. And I immediately thought, I could be miserable here. I could be. I could... I could give me 30 more seconds and I could find something to complain about. So as much as I... Yeah, the complacency that comes from being very wealthy can be paralyzing and it can be infantilizing and it can make you very unhappy. I've seen firsthand wealthy people living miserable lives. It's true. Needing to pay your rent. This goes back to the millennial thing. Needing to pay your rent, knowing that you need to take care of yourself and others, I think really does make you a happier person. Although a condominium on a ship, I can't... I would have a massive panic attack on a cruise ship. I just would feel trapped and there isn't enough volume in the world to help me deal with the fact that I am out at sea and I am on this boat for two weeks and there's no getting off. No, you get off every day. They stop every day. Most of them... I mean, I did a crossing where it was eight days, not getting off, but most of them... Any panic attacks? Most people... No, did I have a panic attack a couple of times when I couldn't get internet? I did lose it a few times. I get that. No, I just have never done that because I don't... If I knew... If I was with people that I liked and knew, but you mostly go by yourself or some people that you don't know might be the other comics and I would just... That would be... Is it two weeks? Two weeks of depression? You could do it because you have the kind of act that could... Yeah, I couldn't do the other 23 hours of the day, though. Yeah. I would get too... Sad. Let me ask you a stupid question. So you're on the cruise ship. Are we going to talk about Kathy Griffin because I got to go. Yeah, we're going to talk about Kathy Griffin in a second. You're on a... I've never been on a cruise. Could people live forever on an aircraft carrier that's been converted into a city? Oh, you mean forever sort of like... How we deal with this climate change? How would they... And I mean, there's enough food for a certain amount of time but how would they get the food? Okay, I live in an apartment building 16 stories, I would say, has a thousand people living in it. In a way, it's a small little city, a little community. We all hate each other and fight and argue about, you know, garbage and leaks. If you went from it being vertical to horizontal and it floated, it would be a ship. They can build a ship with a thousand people living on it forever and make a city out of it. Isn't that how we can deal with global warming? Then maybe how the wealthy will deal with it. Well, no, we have to worry about ourselves. No, it's not going to be for us. I could go on because I've already, you know, I've got the connections. Jeremiah Tower, the chef. Yes. I had him on the show. Okay, he's a great guy. He's a great guy. Before he became a chef, he was designing underwater cities. He had patents underwater. Suppose we just decide, instead of colonizing Mars, we create these massive biodomes and we live under the sea. We can do that. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe pulling out of the... All right. But all it's going to do is it's going to separate the rich from the poor. Even more. Even better. Okay. Let's talk about Kathy Griffin. All right. I think she's an amazing stand-up comic. She is so funny. She really is. I went to see her. My friend Jeff Wills booked her at the Kodak Theater and we went and watched her. She did 90 minutes of material that was edgy, vicious. What year was this? Like three or four years ago. Gossipy. Bits about Cher. Bits about her mother. She made me laugh really hard. Unique. Nobody does what she does. What do you think? I think she's very successful and I admire that. You're biting your lip. I don't want to talk, but my issue with her and the treatment, I do think that she's been hit way harder because she's a woman. I agree. You agree? Of course. I do not think if a guy did that, they've crucified her. I think she was right for doing it. I think she was wrong for apologizing. Apology killed her. The biggest mistake you make is apologizing. What she did pales in comparison to what Donald Trump does every day. The kid, the youngest kid, they say was upset by it. If that kid is upset by it, he's got other problems, you know. I think it's real. I think that your kid would be upset by it. I don't think so. I do. I didn't... That kid has Donald Trump's father he's seen and heard a lot worse. There's two arguments to be made. I did not think it was funny. I got it. I thought it was stylistic. I thought she wanted to be trending and I knew that that's what the... To me, that's what the intention smelled of. When they fired Gilbert Godfrey for his joke after the tsunami, that was funny. Okay, he got fired. He lost income. But his joke was hilarious. Yeah, I mean, I'm 99% of the time. It's Bruce Smyrnov. Hang on for one second. Bruce? You're on. Bruce? Bruce? Can you hear me? I'm trying to set up a time with him. Gunsy knivesy. I can't hear you. You got to talk about Mord. You got to ask him about that. That's an amazing story. I'm trying to get him. Are you there? I love this. All right, we'll try to get Bruce later. Bruce is our Miami correspondent. I try to check in with him once a week. Is he the funniest person? So funny. When I moved here, he was, I guess, moving... had just moved back from Cali. And, yeah, I saw him, like, nightly. It was fantastic. Is there any funnier storyteller of horrific events than Bruce Smyrnov? What should I ask him about? Ask... He has an amazing story about somebody dying at the beginning of his show. Yes, he told it on my show. Okay, it's the greatest story. I'll tell you later. Okay. Or look up the Bruce Smyrnov episode from, like, two weeks ago. Okay. Yes, in the middle. He plays all the condos. Have you done the condos? Yes. Have you done them? I worked with him two weeks ago in Florida. I am going this Saturday to do a Jewish Federation show. Good. In Florida? Yeah. Which one? Boca. Oh. Of course. And what are the audiences like? I have no idea. It's my first one. It's like any temple. Don't worry about it. You'll enjoy it. They're rich, though. They're very Boca ones. They're very stuck up. They're very old. You're doing it next week? Yeah. That means that these are people that stay. They don't come back for the winter. Oh. I mean, the summer. Okay. It just means they're really old. They're old? Because people that are my age and like up to 70, you know, they come north in the summer. But, you know, when you get to be 80, 90, that's too much of an effort to come back and forth. They're old and they're experts on everything. They're experts on comedy. Right? Sure. They can tell you everything you did wrong. Right? Great. There's a meet and greet after. And they don't want jokes about Judaism. They just want you to be smart. Right? Isn't that tends to be? I don't know. I think if it's funny, they don't mind. Yeah. They're smart. That's what's fun. I mean, you can still have fun with them. You can still do a dirty joke as long as you don't say the actual body parts. You know, you have to actually say schmeckle or, you know, or putts or something like that, you know. Now, let me ask you two about being Jewish. Sure. Do you have interests, John, in anything other than reading? Do you have a hobby? Oh. Yeah, I like yoga. I like a little basketball. All right. That doesn't count. No? Yoga's a hobby. I give them that. Yeah, I'll give them that. Because you're next. I'm going to ask you a couple of questions before you go. But no, not enough. John, where'd you grow up? Newton, Massachusetts. Oh, OK. All right. Juicentral. Juicentral. So raised both parents Jewish? Yes. OK. Did your father have hobbies other than reading? I mean, he jogged. Yeah, but that's kind of like what you do to stay alive and yoga. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he coached all our teams. He had a hobby. Now he does. Now he does. I mean, he was an excellent optometrist, and later in life started doing. Cory Cane's father invented the scratch and sniff eyeglasses. Oh. The lens. Scratch resistant lens. Oh, that's great. So you could scratch on the lens, and it would smell of whatever you wanted it to smell like. Eyeballs. It was like, yeah, eyeballs. Remember the movie Polyester? I bought the eyeglasses that smelled like pizza. So whenever I was in the mood to smell pizza, I would scratch. Her father made a fortune on the scratch and sniff eyeglasses. He wishes. No, he's, he's been. Carol Leifers father. You don't want to know that. Hang on for a second. Carol, Carol Leifers father was an optometrist. Oh, really? And his first name? Seymour. Oh, that's adorable. Seymour. Yeah. Seymour. Perfect. Go ahead. So your father was. Painting, photography, and now drawing. So yeah, he's picked up a few. He's retired? He is retired. Well, that, okay, that doesn't count. Well, he started the painting and the photography while he was still working. Because the doctor said you have to prepare for something to do when. No, it was even before that. It was when we started going and photography has been a while. But that's lenses. True. That doesn't count. Probably hands on parents. They didn't have time for hobby. And then when the kids went off to college, he found things to do. Like he wasn't putting boats and bottles. No. He didn't have a stamp collection. No. He didn't collect guitars. No. Maybe traveled. Like to travel. He did a lot of traveling, lecturing. And so. But he's Jewish. Everybody. Yeah. If you're Jewish, you lecture everybody. Make a left. It's not a battle. Go ahead, make a left, but then you're going to want to make a right. Why is not having a hobby a Jewish thing? I was trying to explain to a woman. That sitting on the couch for 12 hours with your Kindle. Yeah. That's my hobby. Yeah. That's what I'm interested in. Sure. And I try to explain that perhaps it's a cultural thing. That just reading all day might be your father. Well, you were in a boarding school. No, but I wasn't, not for my whole life. My father was a huge reader. Did he have a hobby? No. Like he said, he jogged. Yeah. My father was a big reader. And he also, he also wrote. Yeah. My dad wrote a book. Yeah. Big reader. Big reader too. Yeah. So given a choice, like you're, we could go see this Wonder Woman movie, which is supposed to be fantastic, or we could stay home and read. Chances are both your fathers would prefer to stay home. No, my dad would love to go to the movies. My dad loves movies. Yeah. My dad loves movies. Loves to sit there with the popcorn. Bad movies? No, good movies. But he liked the action ones. There's two old theaters, and there's one in West Newton and one in Coolidge Corner in Brookline, and he'll go to those and. To see. No, like whatever's like, it's sort of like the Angelica of here, you know, like kind of like the good independent stuff. Yeah. Are you married? I am not. You have a husband? I do. He's a good man. He's a good man. He's not a divorce attorney. No. No. He's a lawyer. He does elder law. People who have been abused by their kids? No. He does, you know, wills, estates. He does elder law. He does special needs. He does the heartbreaking stuff. Well, he sued a divorce attorney for me. No, but you can certainly call him and ask him what's the best way to approach it if the guy's unreasonable. Well, I'm unreasonable. Probably. I'm just, I'm vindictive. I spoke to, I can't even. Do you pick your battles, David? I mean, if you go on your divorce, you've got to pick your battles. I mean, what is the most important thing that you keep as much money as you can? That ship is sailed. Okay. Just keep the podcast. I want to be funny. And just... And you think it's robbing you of your humor? No, no, I want to be funny with opposing counsel. So I've written a couple of letters. I think it's funny to... Did you see that, the slave's letter? No. It was popping around the internet. So they found a letter that a slave wrote to his master who asked him to come back to work after he had served in the Civil War, which got him his freedom. Bill Maher? But it was very funny. He's like, actually, you know, by all rights, you owe me $11,000 because I worked for you for 25 years and you didn't pay me. It was just... It's a real letter. Real letter. Very funny. I like it. Now has Snopes checked it out? Is it legitimate? I don't know. I can tell you... I'll email you. I can tell you you're itching to go because you have a kid that you have to get to. You're a 13-year-old. But your husband, before you go... Oh, God. His number. Yes. His number. No, I want to know that I... What I want to know about your husband, he's a lawyer. He worked for the Justice Department. Right. He's a great man. Great guy. I met him. Yeah. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Great man. Saturday afternoon. Flat on his back? Reading. No, sports. Watches all sports. It's a sickness. And he puts away a lot of hummus and chips and salsa and chips and, you know... I mean, he'll go throw the ball around with my son. He goes to Little League and screams. He goes to watch my son play basketball. But, I mean, during Saturday and Sunday, it's sports. And he texts Lenny Marcus the whole game, especially when it's a Giants game. Does he have a hobby besides sports? No. I would say his hobby really is his kid. My husband has had to become a real, you know, hands-on parent since I started doing the ships. But he, you know... I didn't need a kid after my daughter was 20 years old. So the way I figure is, you wanted this kid. You got to raise this kid. I was done. I was driving with my sister up in Hamburg, New Jersey. Saw all these farms. And I thought, it must be nice to be a Gentile. Rolling hills. I fantasize. Oh, yeah. You know, cows, chickens. Just not getting nervous at the end of a meal when the Czechs are about to go down. They always seem so cool, don't they? Like, I get into what's going to happen. They're going to take the credit card. They're going to split it. What's happening? Not having to live in the dark when a light bulb goes out. They go to stores. They see something they like. They buy it. It's crazy. I have this friend, John Ross, comedy writer, comedian. And he has a farm somewhere. And he's Jewish. And it says, it's not like... It just can't be, I have this farm. It's, I have this farm. And this chicken. The chicken is the best. Chicken, that's a great chicken. I wish I could do something other than be interested in things. Just, you know, leave, go, you know, have a farm somewhere. But I think that a lot of the country sees what we're talking about as a leadist. That when we say we don't have hobbies, we like to read. We like to be educated. We like to be inquisitive. Sometimes it comes off as though we are better than them. And we have to be careful of that. Better than they. Yeah. Well, okay. Case in point. Crazy. Anxiety. A hobby. Yes. Panic attacks, anxiety. I'm going to die alone. That's my name. It's occurred to me that, it's finally occurred to me that I'm going to die alone. Everyone is. Mohamed Hatzah didn't die alone. You have a kid, right? Yeah. Who's Mohamed Hatzah? He flew the plane into the world. His parents went, at least he didn't die alone. Dying alone. Doesn't that scare you? Oh, every day. You know what happened last time? His whole act is about that. Pretty much. His whole act is about ending up alone. Last night I was watching TV, eating a pretzel, lying. I better sit up because that's how I'm going to die. Choking on a pretzel. Choking on a pretzel, forgetting to remove the cookies on my laptop. He looked at that before. He was looking at her? I'm afraid that they're going to check my internet searches and they're going to be like, she went to TripAdvisor 37 times. That's all she does. To what? Save $9? $9? All right, you guys, thank you for having me. I'd love to come back. I'd love to see you soon. You're fantastic. Oh, you are. Thank you. Too kind. Come back. You know what? Let me tie something back. You have a 13-year-old kid? Yeah. You know what? I got news for you. Show business you'll have for the rest of your life. A kid, they go off. You don't hear from them. Show business. Stay with me. Let the kid go. Is it a boy or a girl? Are you implying that I should cut ties? 13. He's a man. He is. Let him go. I know. I got to put a casserole in the oven. You're too attached to him. It's my last chance at being a mom. Mothers and sons. My last chance. Mothers and sons, because the sons disappear. I just talked to my mom on the walk from the subway to here. My son just had a bar mitzvah. When he got to mommy and daddy's poem, he said she's a pretty good cook when she's here. She lets me drink champagne on the first of the year. Big laugh. Big laugh. Then he goes basketball, football, baseball and hockey. Daddy, you're the light in my storm when it gets rocky. Pretty good. Pretty good. I wrote it. He had things that he wanted to say. He wanted to do the champagne because I let him. He was on a cruise with me. We were on a fancy cruise and he's tall, so they kept giving him champagne. I said, how many have you had? He said, I don't know. I said, well, how do you feel? He says, good. And they said, you're spoiled because they were serving vocally costs and you're never going to get this much champagne at this quality, so enjoy it. Happiest day of your life, the bar mitzvah, right? No. That's not the happiest day of my life. I think it was the happiest day of my life going to your son's bar mitzvah. I don't know. I hate when they say, the happiest day of your life. There's something. I was very happy when my kids. Yeah. I mean, it was a good day. It was a good day. It was the thing. The day my daughter was born was really a happy day. Letterman was the greatest day. What's the difference? I don't know. It took so much to get a Letterman. It's a personal thing. It was an epic effort and to be a girl and get Letterman, it was even harder. More important, it's better than having a baby. It was really up there. Did you have an epidural to do Letterman? It really was a good day. It went to the palm afterwards. Really? Jackie the Joke Man was there. He bought me a drink. I don't know. It was a great day. Did you talk to Dave? Insofar as, he was very nice. He held my hand for a long time because I was shaking at the end of it. He could see that I needed that. He just kept holding. He said, very funny. 15 minutes afterwards, Billy Burr texted me. He goes, you got very funny, fuck you. That's even better. It was really nice. It was so sweet to do that. Yeah, that was great. For you, wasn't it like one of the greatest days? I had an amazing day because I am so anxious that my parents live in Boston and my dad was going to come down. I said, I don't know if I can handle the anxiety of you taking a train or driving here that day. I can't worry about that. He was like, okay, okay, okay. He's my call if I'm nervous for a show or something like that. I called him before and afterwards I called him. He's like, how'd it go? I'm like, it went great. He's like, I'm outside. He traveled down without telling me to meet me right after. Did he see you do it? No, but I had shows back in Boston. He stayed over that night. He was there right when I got out. He was the warm blanket. Hang on, I'm getting the chills. Not from that story of malaria. Moody McCarthy was with me and he was crying when he saw my dad. Okay, so tell me this story. I'm crying. Stay for one second. Then you can leave. I was too nervous to be worried about my dad's travel coming down as I was trying to focus on the letterman set that day. So he said, okay. I won't come. So I did the set. When I finished, I called him. He asked me how it went. I said it was great. He said I'm outside the studio. He had taken the Amtrak down to surprise me for right after. But he didn't want me to see him beforehand to make me nervous. So he was there for you just in case you bombed? Pretty much. I'm gonna go... I'm gonna go congratulate him. I don't need to see it. I don't need to sit in the audience. I'm here for you. He knew that would make me too nervous. What an asshole. But when I did Colbert, I had them come down and they're like, you're not gonna be nervous. I'm like, first of all, what can make me more nervous than this? And I was thinking in the 10 years in the future, he dealt with that anxiety. So you went outside and you saw your dad. You brought him in. Yeah, well, Paul was out when we got to go back out to take pictures and stuff, which he did with his very nice camera. It's one of his hobbies. And we were all out. Yeah, so he met everybody that he could and it was great. That sounds like one of the greatest days of your life. It was really great. I did not want my parents to ruin it. And they just happened to be in from California. And so my sister, because she loves me, bit the bullet and she did the cover story. It's not that big a deal. And let's go out to dinner and she kept them away. But I had Ariel there, my daughter, and I had my baby sister went because they knew how to show up for me. It's so good to have that. Because my parents would have, I said, we don't know what to do. It's too cold. I don't know. Is it okay if we come back? Is there peanuts? I didn't want them to ruin it. And I had Ross with me. Ross Bennett was backstage. Eddie Strange. We have to have Eddie on the show. Oh my God, he was amazing. Yeah, he's a great guy. He was amazing. And then right before the show, I called Johnny Lampert. Nice. He's a terrible booker. He's a sweet guy. He's not a tarry. He's a great booker. He's a character. But he goes, you just think to yourself, this is a Johnny Lampert gig. And you're being very underpaid. It's going to make you so mad that you're going to kill. And it was the best image. It's a temple and you're getting $7.50. And you should be getting $5.50. Wow. That's hilarious. I was waiting for Colbert. And I have this gemstone thing for positivity that I wear as a bracelet. And he's like, you can't wear that. I'm like, I know, but it's a good luck thing. And he was like, well, put it on your mother's wrist. Yeah, so that was good. That's sweet. Lenny's great. That's good to have a comedy, buddy. The first time I did Conan, Robert Schimel stood with me. I hear he's a generous guy. We have to talk about Eddie Brill. Eddie Brill and Schimel were very tight. Right, yeah. The first talk show I did was Dennis Miller's Tribune show. Dennis had a syndicated talk show that went up against Arsenio. And I was really nervous because I wanted to impress Dennis Miller. This was back when he was the shit. Now he's just... And my friend John Ross stood with me and I was... He said, you're like a caged tiger. He said, you could lift a car. I remember he said, you could lift a car right now. You have so much adrenaline going through you. Did you have adrenaline? So much, yeah. Well, let me ask a woman a question. Sure. Is it anger that motivates you to get out there on the letter and show? What is pushing you? Is it violent? For some comics, there's a violence to it. I'm talking about walking through that fire. I think my style of stand-up though is that I'm sort of this crotchety, you know, curmudgeon. That's really very much my act. And so my friend making me have an image of being annoyed or irritated did help. It was like the sand and the skin that made the rhinoceros. Is it good for you in a pressure situation? To be angry. That will motivate me to just work through it. I'll just do it. Being angry is... Too happy, I'm not so funny. I'm the opposite. I'm never afraid. I went out to do something once and I was very nervous and my friend tickled me. And it helped. He was in the wings and he just sort of tickled me. A lot of this is maturity though. I'm now at a point where I could be sitting and eating a meal. I could probably get up and go do one of these shows. I had put so much pressure on that one that it was difficult. Anger is my motivator for sure. And is that through therapy you learn to channel anger into your comedy and use it as some kind of caffeine? Well, I think anger was probably the core of all defense mechanisms for me as a funny person. I was always funny as a kid. Yeah, it coincides with your stage presence. Can you be funny if you're not angry? Can you be funny if you're not angry? Now I can. But you're tapping anger. You're faking anger. Yeah, sometimes. But sometimes I just change it to lightly annoyed. Lightly irritated. Slightly. This could be better. Growing up, do you remember dinners? Do you remember your family sitting around fighting just because it was funny? Arguing just because it was funny? Maybe not screaming but yelling because it was funny. And nobody it was harmless. Teasing. Teasing but getting into an art. Do you remember uncles or neighbors who would come over and you'd be eating dinner and the uncle and aunt would take an opinion just to excite everybody and get everybody screaming? No, I think we all had a glaze of let's not go there. It was all like let's just keep this like this thing that's kind of good. Yeah. I think things might have exploded too much. We wouldn't have been able to do what you're saying. Political discussions perhaps. See, I remember. My family was very funny. All of my aunts did accents. They all did great accents. So, you know, to break tension, I mean sometimes she'd do the Queen of England or she'd do the Russian character. My mother oddly enough could do Sid Caesar so she could do that sort of like the double talk. The double talk. And my mother could do a great German accent and so there would be a lot of you pass the potatoes now and give me your papers. That's funny. That's great. Yeah. There was a lot of funny. Sometimes people would stay in character especially for some reason the Indian. I'm sorry anybody was Indian but we could do Indian for an hour. What is it you don't want to do? There are people starving in our house. That's funny. Yeah, there was a lot of laughing for sure. I think my mother was really great at accents and my father was just very dry humor. You grew up in a silly household. Well, there was a lot of fighting but the way that it would get diffused was through humor so I think I mimicked that at a very young age. Did you grow up in a silly household? Yeah. How many brothers and sisters? I just had one brother and so was me with my brother and dad. He's younger and we all had the same sense of humor and mom in retrospect that she had to deal with us. All right. Let's plug some gigs. This was fun. We're good? Let's plug some gigs. Where are you going to be? No, you go. You gotta go. I'm going. Corey Cahaney? Yes. CoreyCahaney.com is my website if you want to go to it. On iTunes I have an album and it's called Corey Cahaney TV Clean. And feel free to contact me. I'm available for parties. July 23rd I'm going to be headlining the Fat Black Pussycat Lounge the comedy cellar there. Can you stick around for ten more minutes? Bye, guys. Say hello to Bruce Murnau. I will. I didn't have time to talk to you. When did you start doing comedy? December of 98. December of 98. And growing up who were some of your influences? Well, like I said my father, my brother and I we all had the same sense of humor. My aunt, my brother's sister very funny. Comedian-wise I really started watching in high school. My dad and I would watch I remember us watching the HBO specials like Seinfeld, Roseanne right around there. All that like A&E comedy on the road stuff was playing and I would like get home to watch that at whatever time that was like 11 p.m. or 1 a.m. or whatever it was. And who stood out? Dennis Wolfberg. The late Dennis Wolfberg, yes. The guy, Scott LaRose? Scott LaRose. Yeah, he does a lot of commercials. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I found him hilarious. Adam Ferrara. We just had Adam on the show, yeah. Adam Ferrara was somebody that I just and then when I started doing comedy he was like, oh, that's a guy who's a writer and a performer. Right. And I was just always really impressed with him because he had this material and he would just like command the stage. Who was Adam Ferrara? Adam Ferrara and he hosted my new faces up in Montreal. Wow. So it was really cool. Yeah, so you grew up watching the comedy explosion. Yes. See when I was... De Palo. Oh, Nick De Palo. We were trying to get him back. We're just scheduling conflicts. Have we heard anything? Okay. Well, of course he's a pain. That's what makes him so funny. It's interesting when I was growing up I was influenced by Carlin, Steve Martin, Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, Pryor and they were teaching me what was funny. I didn't judge them. There was no judging comedy back then. Tom Drieson would come on the Tonight Show. George Miller, David you go, okay, that's how you be. I never had a critical eye watching these people. They were teaching me what was funny. Were you critical? Was your father critical when you watched this? No. Just pure enjoyment at that time. That was high school and then I remember college and there was just a comedian there. I had no aspirate. I didn't know I could do that. I didn't have room for aspirations. What did you think you were going to do? I thought I was going to be a psychologist or a psychiatrist or something suburban. Then this comic came and I was like I could do that. But it still didn't get the ball rolling until I graduated. That's when I started watching more describing of how do I do this. That was when Dr. Katz was on and Andy Kindler became, yes we have a shared love of Andy Kindler. Everybody loves you, Andy Kindler. Jonathan Katz is nice. He did a show at the Newton JCC where he did stand up. I think he had Broadus, Bill Broadus opening for him and he did a show and then he talked about squiggle vision and stuff and showed some of the episodes and stuff like that. Have you met Jonathan? Have I met him? I don't know if I've met him. I think I've been in the same room as him when he came to the comedy studio in Boston but I don't think I ever shook hands with him. From the same hometown. Is he a fan of your show? I spoke to him. He's probably on Dr. Katz. All of you guys I would know before I ever met him. I remember loving your Conan set. I think I was already in New York and you came to prep it at Luna maybe. Jeff Sanger. That was great. Andy Kindler and who was the other I don't know, just that whole thing that was amazing to me because I was loving stand up and then I was like oh here's this other way to present it that was so cool and I was learning that those were actually their stand up bits. He made it, that's hard to do to take stand up out of stage and microphone and put it into another format and make it palatable. You mean like a cartoon? Yeah. My happiest memory was I did an episode of Dr. Katz and there was a joke where I say I'm a great parent I change the cat box before my children play in it. Okay, so they set up a sandbox, they play in the cat. We recorded 20 minutes of material and then my Dr. Katz is airing and my kids were like five and four I don't know, you know. They would gather around with their friends to see Daddy on Dr. Katz because it's a cartoon. Can I just say literally when I would watch you I would be like I wonder if he lets his kids see this. Oh absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because it's all lies. It's all lies. I know. There was nothing and I'm sitting there reading the newspaper and they're watching Dr. Katz and it's going to be interesting. And there's this scene of my kids in a cat box playing with each other while the cats are outside of the box waiting to use it after my kids are done playing in this filthy cat box and one of my kids goes to their friend that's us. That's us playing in the cat box. We're on TV. And I'm thinking, well that's got to be damaging, down the line. It's just a cartoon of you playing in piss and feces soaked, taxo plasmosis. But yeah, it was just a happy memory of yeah, I think kids can be exposed to anything except the truth. That's my no, my kids would come and watch me and I because I never violated, I got into trouble once for saying that one of my kids was smart, funny and pretty and I was called up and said, how dare you say that? How dare you call me smart, funny and pretty? That was the upsetting thing? And I said, I thought our deal was that I can't say anything about you that that's true. That's not funny, that's not funny. Yeah, I'm not allowed to say anything that's true about my kids. I love my kids. I'm saying that's the joke. That's why I say love. You met my daughter. Yes, at the Carlin street naming. She's interested in comedy and I said, you know you can't be a stripper like every other daughter who had emotionally unavailable fathers, you have to do stand up and break my heart, just go be a strip. I was trying to think of the other one but definitely it was someone else and kindler that like watching their Dr. Katz thing off of one of their setups I wrote my first joke. What was your first joke? He had something about just something like I quit drinking and then he went somewhere else and in my head I thought it was going to, so I said I quit drinking, boy am I going to quit. That's a great, that's your first joke? The first thing that I actually wrote down, like I was starting to look to take a workshop. Where did you write down? A napkin? I think I had a notebook of index cards. A little bigger than your standard. Do you still have them? I'm sure. What do you keep? What do you hoard from stand up? Are you a hoarder of memorabilia? I have some old the comedy connection in Boston, which was the big club that I started at, would have these flyers always and I have some of those with guys like Gullman, Paul Nardizi, Kevin Knox, Gavin Don Gavin so I have pictures of these guys still and yeah, I've got piles and piles and drawers and drawers of notebooks. You don't throw that out. It's interesting because your generation, my generation is rubbing up against our parents who are hoarders. They don't throw anything out and we don't want it. I think the antique road show was invented by our parents to convince us that hoarding is a virtue. My dad definitely is. I have it too. My brother totally doesn't. My dad has to go through all this stuff. It's like his weekend chore. My mom wants him to get rid of stuff and he'll have like a new pile for me every time I go and visit and it's hard for me to throw it away. My brother doesn't even need to see it. He's like, you know, I like to say I'm like your brother but one of the things I do is I have a nervous breakdown room or I have a closet. In other words, I just gather up the things and I just throw it all into one area and it doesn't exist. But I cannot be around clutter. I hate clutter. I hate things. Ever since I got thrown out of the house, we had things. Years go by, my things were put in storage. I moved to New York. Now I have nothing. I know that the things, as the years go on I keep thinking, well what am I missing that's in that storage bin? I have a hockey puck signed by Don Rickles that I want. I have a Mark Twain first edition that was given to me by a comedian. And then everything else, if it got torched, if you just set fire to that storage. I kind of want to tell my dad don't even show it to me. Because if I know it's not, it's just a memory. The other thing we started to do is like, so it's like gotta have pile. Let's take a picture of it and get rid of it. Pile has been a helpful thing. What do you hold on to from like what are, you know, you're in your apartment. There's a fire. What are you going to grab? There's not much in my apartment. Yeah, I mean there's like this, I have this cactus mirror wall hanging thing that my parents had in their first apartment in Arizona when I was born. Which I kind of have had in all my apartments. What have you say from your first Letterman? I have the cue cards. The thing on the door. The thing on the door. Do they put like your name on the door? I didn't get that. Okay, I took the door. You can you can keep the little adhesive with my name on it. No, I still have the bag, you know, that they give you your little gifts. Yeah. Yeah, like the mug in the, and I think I gave the hat to my dad and the t-shirt might still be in there. Yeah. The cue card where they introduced you. Did you get them to sign it? I didn't get them to sign it and I also never had it mounted and framed. But I still have them. Yeah. I think I have I've got a poster from the first time I headlined Gotham rolled up in the tube somewhere in one closet. Yeah, I got little stuff. I got VHS tapes that I haven't thrown away. How many jokes do you write a week? Oh, God. Ideally. I try to write for two hours a day. Really? Yeah, that's ideal. What do you mean you write for two hours a day? I do free write for 30 minutes. What does that mean? Like an artist way like just open up my notebook and if I get right to it like I want to in the morning three pages. And what do you write? That's just free. That's just like a meditation almost. Just like get it all out and that helps me then write jokes. So I'll do like if I'm writing jokes for my act or jokes for like monologue jokes. If I'm trying to put a packet together like try to do two hours of something like that. That's in the artist's way they say to do that? The 30 minute thing. It's called the morning pages. Morning pages. Yeah, but you know half the time it's I did them on the subway here at three o'clock. And so if I don't get to it first thing two pages is what I can usually get on my subway commute. So I do two pages. And is there anything in that? I'll star something. But that's not the goal. But I'll star something. The goal is just to write. Just to get it all out of my head. And then that what helps me is Do you ransom notes count? Sure. Okay. Those are the best. That helps it helps me like later. See I was going to kidnap somebody but I had writer's blog I couldn't come up with a ransom. Does somebody do that joke? No, that's great. That's your warm up exercise. Is that a joke? Alex says it's a joke. You got a joke I'm bringing back quit drinking. This has been very productive. But it does help when I like put down the thing that I was like trying to force write during that two hour block and between the free write and the two hour block then when I go and just like sit with a setup it really helps to like get something. So like that that time where you're just you know a half hour before you're set when you're just kind of looking over things and I find that curious because I'm convinced that nobody can actually write stand up. It has to be materialized through conversation. That's what I'm saying. So it's like those are like conversations with myself and it's sort of like my forcedness that nothing rarely comes from. So you're saying rereading things that you wrote are like a conversation with yourself. Or even when I'm just writing. That's what I'm doing. Not the free write, the other things. It's like oh here's the things that are in my notebook from like or emails that I emailed myself that something funny happened in a conversation that I noticed and then I'll kind of write about that and then sometimes something funny will happen. Like it'll be in joke structure but it really comes from like you said like being on stage or like right before like kind of going over it and then like having a conversation with myself. Interesting. Yeah. Writing, we got to wrap it up but I think what you're saying is you write something, get it on the page. It doesn't have to be funny, it doesn't have to be good. Get it on the page and then you're actually collaborating with yourself. If you come back in a day or two with fresh eyes and you see something that you wrote and you don't recognize and suddenly you can be your your own writing partner. Yeah. Or the walk, you know, after you're done at the coffee shop or whatever it's like or the shave, you know, or the shower that's like you're thinking about what you just wrote down. Some of the best jokes I've ever written have come up while I'm shaving my legs. I don't know what it is about shaving my legs but having a look at my ankles in the mirror, it's just something happens. Well this is great, you'll come back. Yeah man, this is great. Thanks for having me. John Fish is a stand-up comedian. Watch for him on Colbert on Comedy Central. Do you have a website? Johnfish.com J-O-N-F-I-S-C-H and Johnny Fish is my Twitter. Johnny Fish is your Twitter. Say hello to your brother, White. It's a Jewish drug, Whitefish. Thank you.