 My name is Jimmy, his name is Jake, and this is the Weekly Dumb. How are you? James, Zach, everyone at home, and all the moms happy belated Mother's Day to your belated mother. Uh, if you're a terrible mother, probably not to you. All the good moms out there, an average. The ones that tried hard. If you're a bad mom, leave a comment below. Let it out there. Tell us why you're a bad mother. Yeah, yeah. I was Disney World Zach. Thumbs up from Zach. Let's get right into it, Jake. James, this is big. Rich strike, your boy. Wins the Kentucky Derby, one of the biggest upsets in sport history. The second biggest in the Kentucky Derby's history. 80 to 1 long shot. And Jim, immersed, apparently, these hearts ran a hill of a race. The overhead view is one of the cooler things. When the jockey hits that one gap, you know, you know what I'm talking about. Wings them to the rails and then hits the gap and then just runs faster than the other horses. Odds this horse test for something illegal next week. Odds. Oh, it's already 100%, but they won't announce it because it's good for horse racing. It's good for horse racing? Yeah, it's already, yeah. Gonna get paid to fuck now. And his dad, his price went up too. I just saw that. That's cool. When your son's successful, looking at you. James, do something cool. Jim, this is almost a breakdown. Let's get back to what we know. Baseball. And Jim, couple of players here doing what we like to see on the course. Contreras with a little nut tap of Muncie. Interesting. Weird. The ball skirts away from Contreras, goes around Muncie. Contreras takes the front toe route and then reaches out with his right hand and grabs Muncie, like pokes him or like touches him. My best guess here, honest guess, not a joke, is that he was kind of like, you know how like when you run around a pole, you grab it to like kind of pivot yourself? That's exactly what happened. That's still weird. You can't use the other player as a structural of support. But he should have went football combine and you dropped the shoulder around to get there. Instead, he went running around the pole. Yeah, grabbed it. Now, the problem I have is I'll reach out to some of our friends over on the Doiers, but Muncie didn't get hurt. He just wanted to make sure people knew what happened. Yeah, I was just grabbed in the penis. Yeah, I want to stop the game real quick and make sure they show a replay of this. So he fakes hurt and then he has friends like, what's going on here? And they're like, oh, oh. And then Muncie's like, yes, OK, great. Now that you've all seen it, we can move on. I just want to make sure that was on that replay. Yeah, of me. I just grabbed my nuts. Zach and more sports, we're going to your Philadelphia. Rocky's physical performance coach. I think that's important to say eats 25 Philly cheesesteaks during a series against the Phillies. Now, rumor has it that this is like some lure in baseball. And the record was previously held by brewers bullpen catcher Marcus Hannell, who smashed 23 cheesecake during a series in 2015. So this is something that is in Philly lure the cheesesteak famously from Philly and Rocky's physical performance coach, our guy, Mike Jasperson. Hell of a fake name. Had 25 cheesesteaks. My first thought here is that I need the chef of the Philly ballpark to chime in because if the bread recipe is different in any way, anything would be null. It's null because there's a lot of bread. And then my other thing was I thought it was cheesecake for the first like. An odd amount of time. Until you told me, like I saw a couple of days ago and I was disgusted. Cheese steak, not as gross. It's just something you can have for every meal. This is a physical performance and he is the physical performance coach. So it all adds up here. I mean, if I'm Mike Jasperson, which I've pretended to be at many karaoke's. Yeah. Michael J. Jasperson. I would tell every player on the team, tell me what you want to do. Yeah. And you can do it because I wanted to do this and I did it. I have performed for you guys. Now you're up. I'm Mike Jasperson. Oh, Jim. Here's one that's close to your heart. Man's penis fell off and regrows on his arm. Yep. Yep. This is, uh, this is a big story. I'm glad I'm dressed well. I'm glad I look nice. Missing the main shirt because this is a serious topic. His name is Malcolm McDonald. Malcolm Mac. And his penis, it says here, just dropped off onto the floor after a severe blood infection. So it was not cut off. It just fell off. Just walking around. What's that? Oh, it was my wiener. So the surgeons, they manufactured a new penis using the skin and putting it back together on his arm. And then they're going to migrate it downstairs once the blood flow came back below his waist because you don't want to migrate a penis, then it just falls off again. Took six years. He just lived with the wiener on his arm for six years due to scheduling mix ups, staff shortages, and the pandemic, which are all not valid excuses to leave a penis on the man's arm. Your penis is ready to be replaced. You get that done. I think a doctor would love to do that, too. That feels like a good badge to have. I moved a guy's penis from his forearm to his forearm. He said, people ask me about it at the pub. I get it. It's not every day you see a man with a penis on his arm. And it's like, OK. Not any day. It's all over. I've never seen it. Never seen it. I am worried about this guy, Jake. We think he's a little creepy. I think he's a little creepy because it says in his book, no, in his documentary, he recalled helping an elderly lady retrieve an item from a top shelf only to have his penis pop out from under his sleeve. And that's, that's mean, dude. That's not cool. You can't do that. Jake can't reach up, grab a bottle off top shelf and then his wieners out. You can, but there's punishment. It's punishment. And then he said, it's something to tell the grandchildren, isn't it? Don't. I, my first thought wouldn't be, oh, I can't wait to tell my grandchildren about this, but I have a wiener on my arm. Oh, can you hand me that book? So it's back into the regular spot now and he got to design it. He goes, I got to design your penis. Can't wait to tell my grandkids. The more I think about it, I don't like it. You don't like the guy? How many times do you think he blew himself? Employee of the week. That guy just fucked a sheep. It's the employee of the week. Malcolm Mac, fuck a sheep. Jim, we're keeping everything McDonald. Oh, Malcolm Mac? That guy grew a penis from his forearm. K-Mac, Kyle McDonald. You might know him from the Blitzball battle. Very successful baseball career. Comes to an end. He messaged me last night. He said, I'm done. He was relieved. Felt kind of a bird and lifted. And now he can go on and do whatever he wants. For the love of the game, I'm through. Billy Chapel. Same exact retirement. K-Mac. Similar. And yeah, maybe we'll get him more involved here. He once was on record saying for $50 a day, I'll have sex with a dolphin every day. Over the course of a year. A lot of money. Joe's got so jealous. And now it's just the whole thing. So congratulations. What's 50 times 365, Zach? Uh-oh, it's a calculator race. 18,250. First. That was the Weekly Dumb. Today's episode of the Weekly Dumb was brought to you by Mizan and Main, which was awesome for me because I wore my Mizan and Main shirt naturally just because it is comfortable and looks good. I can do all my favorite stretches while also looking so damn good. Mizan and Main, comfort and flexibility. Whether you're working from the golf course or finally taking advantage of that unlimited vacation policy, we've got good news. Right now, you can go to Mizanandmain.com and use promo code DUM. You'll receive $35 off any regular price order of 125 or more. $35 off when you go to M-I-Z-Z-E-N-A-N-D-M-A-I-N.com and use promo code DUM. What noises do you want for the horse banging? I was gonna make the noise. Oh, that's the noise I want. Now you make it.