 Question is from Lewis Wooten, 92. How have you all dealt with being disciplined and going after and achieving personal fitness goals whilst maintaining a healthy social life and personal relationships? I think the going after fitness goals can contribute positively to your social life and personal relationships so long as it's not an obsession or an extreme fitness goal. Here's a thing that I think a lot of people need to realize. This took me a long time to realize. If you have super lofty, extreme goals, then that means you're going to have to apply a certain amount of singular obsessive focus, in which case it's probably gonna take away from- People will suffer around you. Yeah, it's gonna take away from certain things. And that's okay so long as you don't live there for the rest of your life. I think it's when you start to get problems where you're just singularly focused on one thing and everything falls apart and that's where you are forever. Then there's an issue, but I mean, if you're starting a business, if you wanna get to a new PR, if you wanna compete in a high level competition, are you gonna be able to go out as much and hang out as much with your friends and that kind of stuff? Probably not, it's gonna take some kind of obsession. There's- Yeah, it's just the level of what it means to you. Are you trying to be the best of the best that's ever done it? You're gonna have to sacrifice a lot. And that's, you know, there's an extreme to that. And so the further you go in the extreme path is where most of your eggs are gonna go. And that's like, at a certain point, you just gotta weigh that out. Like, how much can I still balance having friendships, having all these people and like contributing towards them? Cause really, you know, it's about being self pursuing something. I'm doing this all for myself. But how much of it is just yourself? Or are you gonna go ahead and, you know, be available to and make time for other people? Like all that stuff is gonna like feed into what you're gonna experience. It's an interesting thought for me because I obviously went through this when I competed. It's by far the most selfish thing that I've ever done in my entire life. And it wasn't a singular selfish thing. It was, you know, over the course of three years. Like three years of being dedicated to this crazy goal, right? Like, I mean, to go from being way out of shape to all the way the professional level competing on the stage was a journey. Like that's not, that's not gonna be any, I went pretty fast too. Like that was a shortcut for most people. So, and in that time I remember, especially Katrina's family, cause her family, they celebrate a lot and the way they do that is food and drink. And, you know, that was like a very regular thing that would happen. And I got a lot of grief and a lot of shit from her family and my friends. And I got teased in, you know, I didn't let it bother me because I was so focused on my goal. And I had a vision. Like I knew what I was doing. Like I knew I had a plan on, this wasn't gonna be forever, that I set a serious goal for myself. I knew what comes with serious goals like that is sacrifice. And I was sacrificing some of these social events and things that we're gonna do. Now here's the thing that's interesting is while I was going through it, you know, I'm probably, I probably got invited to less parties or things cause people knew that I wasn't gonna drink or eat like that. I got teased and I got shit from her family for doing what. But when I followed through on everything and I reached that crazy goal and then built something around it, I was revered in her family from it. And now everybody is, I mean, they talk about it, how proud they are of watching that. And they can't believe it. And I remember when you started and used to say this, and oh, we used to get so annoyed that you'd bring your plastic Tupperware around and shit like that. Especially cause you did it the way you said you would. You got into it and left. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, and that's what I think this person has to really ask yourself when you are trying to go after achieving some personal fitness goals is why are you doing it and to what level and then, you know, and have a full plan. You know, my plan is I'm gonna achieve this sort of that, but then after I get to that goal, I'm gonna have more balance. And that's exactly what I said I would do when I got into it. It was funny cause when we got into this podcast, I was in the middle of this already. And so, you know, early, I don't know, first 500 episodes or so, you know, everybody thought I was the, you know, the bodybuilder guy. And I knew all along that I wasn't that guy. It was I had a serious goal at that time and how I do anything is how I do everything. If I put my mind to something and say I'm going to accomplish this goal, I'm gonna fucking do it. And, you know, and that means that I'm gonna probably be talking about it all the time and focused on it all the time. And, you know, maybe rubbing some people the wrong way about it because they don't like it or it's a direct reflection for them and how they're not addressing their health and fitness goals. But I didn't give a shit about any of that stuff. It was I'm gonna hit this goal. And then when I do, I'll have more balance in my life. So I think there's ways around it. And I still came to social events. I just carried my Tupperware and let people tease me and let people razz me about it and give me shit. Like, again, I was focused on a goal. Where you don't wanna be is the person that speaks out this goal or says you're gonna do all this shit and you're wishy-washy and you're back and forth because at the end of the day, I think that's where you'll lose respect from your peers and others is when you say you're gonna do something and then you don't follow through. Either one, don't fucking talk about it, just do it. Or if you're gonna talk about it and say you have these serious goals, then execute. And even the people that are teasing you while you're going through it or giving you a hard time, they'll respect you, they'll respect you at the end of it. I also think people get into trouble with this when they don't realize the reason why they're so disciplined and focused. Is it because you're trying to fill an insecurity that can never be filled? You know, let's say, you know, using Adam's example, let's say he went into this because he was insecure about his body. He'd still be doing it. It would never end because that can never be cured by reaching new bodybuilding goals or whatever. That's such a good point. The goal was specifically to get a pro card, leverage that through social media business. It was actually one of the more important things that helped boost my impump early on. It was the only social audience that we had. I had zero social media anything. Justin had very little, Doug definitely had zero. So it was a part of a plan. So that's where balance comes from. This is why it's okay to, this is why it doesn't counter. I think people think balance counters discipline. Which one do I do? No, it's not. If you have a goal and you're doing something and it's for a particular purpose, that's okay. But it depends on the purpose. Like, if the purpose is to, like I need to be, you know, I'm super focused on becoming a millionaire. Well, why? Because then I can retire, make money, have balance. Okay, is it, or no, because I need money because it makes me feel good. Well, you're gonna be doing this forever. You're never gonna find balance. You're gonna be doing this forever. And it'll never be enough. That's where people come into the issues, I think, with the obsession is when you find yourself obsessed and there is no end in sight. But I mean, this is how you succeed. If you really wanna kick ass and this is why I- You gotta stretch yourself. And this is, I'll tell you this one right now. If you're listening and you don't have kids, that's the time. That's the best time. Not saying you can't do it when you have kids, but when you have children, it's very difficult to find that kind of obsessive focus because you'll be taken away from the most important thing that you've probably ever had in your entire life. So if you're in your 20s, 30s, you don't have kids- Kids selfish is not gonna benefit you if you have kids. Exactly. I'll tell you that right now. That's when you'll kick yourself later on and be like, man, it wasn't worth it. Well, you said it, I think you said it best, which is what I was trying to allude to, which is you really have to question why whatever it is that you're doing and have a plan and understand the purpose behind all of it. Because you're right, if it's rooted in insecurities, if it was because I was insecure about the way I looked and so that's what drove me to be so good at it, that'll never end. And you'll just find something else and you'll be completely obsessed with it until you address the root cause. But there's nothing wrong with saying, hey, you know what? I'd like to see what I feel like when I get to this level of shape. I'd like to know how strong I would be. I've never committed myself to a diet and a plan for six months. And I wanna see how it would enhance my work life, my family life, my personal life, my overall health. And it's an important goal for yourself, like, fuckin' A, go get it, go get it. And you're gonna make some sacrifices. You're not gonna be able to eat cake every fuckin' weekend with your friends. You won't be able to have drink on the weekdays. You probably won't be able to have Sunday fun day. But that's okay though, the experience. I mean, I look back at those three years and I mean, that was one of the best experiences of my life. Not just because it was amazing to get in that greatest shape, but I mean, as long as I've been doing this for and all the books I've read and all the certifications and experience and knowledge I have, it's still taught me a ton about myself and it made me that much better of a coach. So the value that it added for my life was incredible. So I mean, if you go into it with that attitude, that what you're doing, the reason why you're making the sacrifice on the social side, I think it'd be very beneficial. Totally.