 What they say what they're saying is Women tend to evaluate each other based on a male curriculum. Oh Your female friends are great men Okay It's the message right here Black boy. Tell me how you really feel Cuz I just want to build with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel I Want to keep it real with you. I want to live better eat better. I want to love better sleep better Yeah, I want to feel so aligned I think a lot of women enter relationships in bad faith. Oh like it's it's a I Know I'm a good woman as I'm entering this relationship. You have to prove to me. You're a good man Oh, so the expectation is you ain't shit until you prove otherwise. Okay. How can I respect you? Valid So, how do we undo that? I think that as a woman, I think that may come from a place of Healing and knowing a sense of self I think that Like you said, if you enter a relationship in Good faith You should We should operate more on The innocent until proven guilty instead of the opposite way around I mean America doesn't operate like that even though they said we should so but I think because of a lot of the inherited trauma that we Have from other relationships from generations from our family From what we see on tv from what we see in our lives From what Other people in our lives preach to us. Oh these niggas ain't shit, you know, walk them like a dog You know For every You know Woman that he's talking to there's five more on the side, you know type of thing. I think that If you enter a relationship in good faith and you Are in a place where you're healing or working towards healing that you should extend That same trust To your partner because why would you enter something if You already feel like you're untrustworthy of this person You wouldn't go buy a car and knowing that That's a bad analogy But I don't know that's a really good question and I can only speak for myself in this point um, I think I have a very different view of Love and relationships in life than A lot of other people do that are my age But I I think as women It's pretty much like you said like we have to give our black men more grace, but we feel like Often that they have to prove themselves first it's almost like we Are the ceo and y'all are applying for a job You know and It shouldn't be like that I I often say Two of the most effective tools Of white supremacy was setting a precedent of The black woman is inherently unattractive And the black man is inherently criminal I have to be cognizant of that as a black man. Okay And I have to be Graceful with that in our interactions um There seems to be Or or or that energy isn't reciprocated because the zeitgeist is continuing to push this narrative that niggas ain't shit And niggas are toxic and and guard your heart sis So how do we Because I want to move away from everything niggas can do to be better What can the female black first of all is their black female delegation And what can they do to move this conversation forward? Right now No, if I would say there's as a whole There's a black female delegation right now. Why? to box A woman to box a woman in You cannot fit every single type of woman into this box and be like I am the spokesperson for the black female delegation um, there are So many types of women and just just like their views just differ Right now. Okay. Like the big the big divide as you all have discussed in your other videos. Um, you know You've got the City girl, you know, um the pro-ho movement um, the sexually liberated and free And then you've got like the more like super conservative type of woman You put those two women on a show like this They're gonna go at it like and and not in all aspects because there's probably a lot of similarities. Um underlying that they maybe don't see but um I think like as a whole sometimes like and I see this a lot too where we tear each other down more than You know Black men or more than white people. So I think to say that we can put the whole Black female delegation in a box I don't really agree with that So my personal opinion. Yeah, no, I I I understand and and I think um, you know Me personally one of my one of the things I say all the time is that we need to Stop using that term Black people are not a monolith as a rebuttal Because monolithic people survive Monolith monolithic communities Drive because there's a sense of one band one sound the reason we can't get on the same page because we can't get on the same page right, so Moving back to the whole facebook thing Why is it in your opinion that so many young successful intelligent Therapized Black women or having Um or not having success in loving companionship shit I I do not know I I think there are a lot of People in this world who are operating more off survival and off hurt than off of love and Even in those three terms there's intersectionality but At this age that we're in You get told it's like two different tales. You need to settle down inside a family Not you have that and then you have your young lot and free. These are your best years live it up. So I see more people operating in the young lot and free stage right now um then in the let's settle down and be a family and by a house I mean The economy is not suited for that either, but that's a whole different topic. But um, I don't know. I have trouble dating. Um I'm sure some people in the comments will tell me why after this video, but um, I don't The only thing I see is that like a lot of people aren't Therapized as you say like they they haven't worked through a lot of these Traumas that we're dealing with and they manifest themselves in relationships so you deal with a lot of situations ships a lot of um Things where you know, there's no strings attached or you know, we kind of just doing what we want floating by because We don't know how to operate in that space of being in a committed relationship and respecting and loving and Working together for one common goal yet. We're just I don't think a lot of us are there and there's nothing wrong with that. That's a lot there or something I mean like everybody's not meant to be In a relationship like if they don't want to be um So most black women want to be I'm sorry most black women want to be yeah, are they claim they want to be yeah So and I think that's a that's an interesting conversation because I have it a lot with my male friends and Most if not all of my male friends are the the niggas y'all won't right? What they say if you're curious, I'm curious. Okay What they say is that if you If you see a group of five women right and Let's say one of them has been successful and and she's looking at her group and she's like Um, Emily is a doctor. Um Savannah's a lawyer. Excuse me for using white girl names, but let's that's what's coming to mind Savannah James And what's the name is a is a is a you know community organized These are women of timbran calaba these are women of you know movers and shakers And why are they not having success with men? These are women who go to therapy five times a week and they go to the gym six times a week What men are saying What they say what men are saying is Women tend to evaluate each other based on a male curriculum Oh Your female friends are great men Okay, but they are terrible women. Okay. Yeah Because unfortunately and this is part of the message I try to push when I have a conversation with a woman is The things that move the needle for you when it comes to me are necessarily things I would prioritize Damn that the things that move the needle for me when it comes to you are necessarily things you would prioritize But if we're going to look at each other's puzzle pieces who must fit we can't be the same So you being strong black educated Makes you a great dude Doesn't necessarily make you a great and sometimes unfortunately it actually works to your detriment Because the more educated you are the less agreeable you are The more successful you are the harder you are to please the more traveled you are The easier it is for you to get bored So as a man Damn Okay That 80% of women in your group Tend to seem like a terrible proposition So what are your thoughts on that? I think it's valid 100% um Yeah, I can I mean you say that like I'm getting my second master's right now so I have two business You know I'm doing all these things Yeah Granted I hate the strong black woman choke uh cut it out. I don't want to be strong. I want to be soft, you know, um, but um Yeah, and I Can a hundred percent agree to that As much as it hurts me to say it um, I can a hundred percent agree to that and I speak on that because um A friend that I have he kind of told me the same thing. I'm like I want to buy a house. You know, I just can't wait to get my house. I can't wait to buy a new car I want a tesla, you know, can't wait to get my second business off the ground. Um, I'm looking to get in real estate I'm trying to have seven streams of income. He's like Men don't give a fuck about any of that He's like you can live with your mom until we get married. I really could give two shits He's like, I don't care if you have a raggedy card, you know, like it is what it is Like when we get married, I'm gonna get you a new car um So it's he's he was the one that kind of brought it to my attention He's like all these things that you're working towards like that you feel make you more attractive to a man They don't care about they care. Do you look good and can you turn my house into a home? And he's like, that's all I care about and I'm just like You know, and he's especially he's like the caliber of man that you want, you know, they want You know that they don't want Women that you know are out here trying to oh you have four degrees great for you. Like I don't give a damn Like, you know, like I'm gonna be the one bringing in the money You know, you can work if you want to but you don't have to you know type of thing um, he was like Now if you want a different type of man that might need you for your money And might need you to go get those degrees because he's struggling and yeah He loves that part about you because you are the caretaker in the relationship but for The caliber of man that most women want They don't care about that. So I think that your point is a hundred percent valid as much as it hurts to say like And sometimes I get caught up in saying that so I'll be like I know more good women than I know good men, but it's because I'm engaging my the women friends on male standards, so That just slapped me in the face