 Welcome Weirdos, I'm Darren Marlar and this is Retro Radio Sunday on Weird Darkness. Each week I bring you a show from the golden age of radio, but still in the genre of Weird Darkness. I'll have stories of the macabre and horror, mysteries and crime, even some dark science fiction. If you're new here, welcome to the show and if you're already a member of this Weirdo family, please take a moment and invite someone else to listen. Recommending Weird Darkness to others helps make it possible for me to keep doing the show. And while you're listening, be sure to check out WeirdDarkness.com where you can send in your own personal paranormal stories. Watch horror hosts present old scary movies 24-7. See Weird News Items. Listen to the Weird Darkness syndicated radio show. Shop for Weird Darkness and Weirdo merchandise. Listen to free audiobooks that I've narrated. Sign up for the newsletter to win free stuff I give away every month and more. And on the social contact page, you can find the show on Facebook and Twitter and you can also join the Weird Darkness Weirdos Facebook group. Coming up, it's an episode from Crime Does Not Pay. This old-time anthology radio series portrays murder, theft, racketeering and other crimes. It exposes the consequences of these misdeeds and teaches listeners, as the title suggests, that Crime Does Not Pay. Crime Does Not Pay was based on MGM's short film series of the same name, which aired from 1935 to 1947. The radio series would launch two years later, airing in New York on WMGM from October 10, 1949 to October 10, 1951 and then included repeat episodes. It then moved to the Mutual Network from January 7 to December 22, 1952. For the most part, actors who appeared in B films were featured in the series, but occasionally one of MGM's major stars would make an appearance. Actors in the series sometimes included Bella Legosi, Everett Sloan, Ed Begley, John Loader and Lionel Standard. After the play, the actors would usually return to speak with the audience. The episode we're about to hear aired November 28, 1949. It tells the story of Jeff Curtis, who has been rubbed out by a gang. His wife, Mary, pays a visit to cut a deal. It's called Female of the Species. Now, bolt your doors, lock your windows, turn off your lights and come with me into the weird darkness. Remember, we're staying out of sight as far as the cops are concerned and your mighty Vic Reynolds. If I told you once, I told you 50 times, play this right and we'll have Vic out of business. He'll be out and we'll be in. But you don't take over by whining. You use your brains and lead. Keep that in mind a lot of you. In the interest of good citizenship and law enforcement, we present Crime Does Not Pay, based on the famous Metro-Goldman Mayor series of short subjects. In just a moment, you will hear Female of the Species starring Mildred Natwick. Crime Does Not Pay, starring Mildred Natwick as Mary Curtis in Female of the Species. There is no honor among thieves. No one is trusted and no one trusts. When one member of a group steps out of line, the word is passed. Orders are issued from above. The orders are carried out. That was the way it worked for Jeff Curtis. His pal and erstwhile partner, Joe Tasty Martin, received the orders. A few hours later, Tasty and his boys, Rod Coy and Angel Davis, dropped in on Jeff for a somewhat less than social call. Hi, Jeff. Tasty and their boys. Come in. Come in by all means. Thanks, Jeff. Long time no see. Yeah, that's right. You said it, Jeff. Come into the living room. Have a drink. Have a couple of drinks. Of what, Jeff? The stuff you hijacked out on Roof 40 last week? What are you talking about? You've been running a small-sized snowstorm in this district, too. I never touched this stuff. No, but your boy's been selling it. The private cokey of a snow, Jeff, and he'll tell anything to get some. You know that. We don't believe any of this, Tasty, do you? That's what I believe, Jeff. This is a contract job. Contract? Big Reynolds? Right. We were pals, Tasty. We came up together. I got a wife, Tasty. You never met her, but she's a wonderful woman. I could disappear, Tasty. All finished, Jeff. All right, Rod, Angel. No, no, you don't have to... Okay, boys, the back way. We'll give them a cement jacket tonight and then the river. Angel. Angel, where's your finest caviar? Place I know on Third Avenue. Good, huh? You can take all the red caviar in the world and give it back to the fishes. Me, I'll take the black stuff by the boat, little Tasty, real Tasty. This fella's got some hickory smoked turkey coming in. Tell me today. Good, good, by the lot. Hey, look, maybe if we can get away during the season, we could go out and shoot us a pheasant. I got a recipe for pheasant and wild rice. When we use a chopper? That's not sporting. For pheasants, you use a shotgun. Okay, I get it. I get it. Yeah, Rod? Name outside. For Angel? No, no, you. Me? A looker? Not bad. No showgirl, but not bad. I feel good today, send her in. I thought maybe you'd want to know her name first. Oh, formal. It's, uh, Mary Curtis. Mrs. Mary Curtis. Jeffs? That's right. You don't want to see her, Tasty? She might have a knife on her or something. Want me to have sweetheart? Give her a going over. No, no. Send her in and take Angel out with you. Look, Tasty, don't take no chance. Come on, Angel. We'll know how he is when he gets an idea. I'll go, but I don't like it. Some people take awful chances. All right, Mr. Curtis. Thank you very much. All right, Rod. We'll be out here, Tasty. Well, how do you do, Mrs. Curtis? Sit down, would you? Thank you. If I'd known where to reach you, Jeff was one of my best friends. I know. That's why I'm here. Ah. Some coffee, a special blend made just for me with a touch of Turkish in it for richness. No, not just now. Thank you. What can I do for you, Mrs. Curtis? Well, I'm not sure. I wanted to see you. Sentimental reasons? More on the practical side. That's all. Yeah. Happens I'm without funds. At least funds sufficient to keep me in the style to which I've been accustomed for any length of time. I thought Jeff carried insurance. The company exercised an escape clause. There's no proof of death, no body, no certificate. I'll have to wait seven years. That's a long time to starve in. Well, no reason why you should starve. I know. That's why I'm here. Do you think I had anything to do with Jeff's? Death? I don't know. Frankly, I don't care. I don't understand that, Mrs. Curtis. Call me Mary, tasty. It's much shorter. Be glad to. I'd like to know. What I want? Yeah. It's a satisfaction of getting back at the party. You and I both know was responsible for Jeff's finish. Why come to me, Mary? Jeff told me a lot about you. I saw your picture. I liked what I heard. I liked what I saw. You and Jeff together might have done big things. Jeff's gone. Well, at least. You and me. Yeah. Together. Well, do I pass inspection? You do. I think I'll take that coffee now, tasty, with a touch of Turkish in it. I sent for you, tasty, for a couple of reasons. You have a phone while I send the hood. Never mind that. The name's Trigger. That'll do, Trigger. Okay. Yeah, okay. I sent Trigger for you because I wanted you first, that's all. It don't look right, Vic. You sent Trigger after mugs. Maybe I had a reason, tasty. I don't like people who get too big for their britches. Look, anytime I ever let you down, just let me know. I'm liable to do just that, tasty. Then we understand each other. I think we do. Yes, I think we do. Look, tasty, I, uh... I hear you've taken up with a dame. What have I have? I don't mind dames, you understand, but you sure pick your women close to home. Meaning exactly what? That I admire your taste in foods. Look, food and women are my business, Vic. Not when you pick out a dame whose man you took care of for me. Don't you worry about that. First place, Mary hasn't the least idea. Second, we understand each other. It'll be your funeral. I'll go to it. Yeah, but your own way. Second, I've got a job for you. The porter crowd. A little too free and easy in the garment district. I heard. I'll stand for a little cutting in. I like to see the boys ambitious. But too much is too much. It's time for a spanking. Which one? As many as you can get. It'll be an object lesson to the others. Do a few of the outfits in a couple other cities. When? As soon as possible. Finger man. Trigger here. Okay, I'll contact you Trigger, 36 hours. I'll be around. Uh, usual rate, Vic. And a bonus for everyone over five. Good. It'll be a new fur coat for Mary. Be senior. You mad, tasty? Why don't you take his gut, boss? He amuses me. He didn't used to be like that. What's eating him? The dames, Trigger, the dames. They're never satisfied with the man they got. They always have to make him bigger than he really is. You sure this is the building tasting? You saw Trigger like I did. Yeah, I saw him. I hope we get away with this. Too many people around to suit me. It's why it's so pretty. By the time the dummies pick themselves up from the sidewalk, we'll be far away. You in gear, Angel? I'm getting a callus from holding down a clutch pod. Wait a right, here they come. That's Porter in the middle. They look like they had a real successful meeting with whomever they were meeting with. Listen to him whomever, he says. All right, Rod. Here's where they get it. Let the whomever get going, Angel, get going. Yes, just a moment. For you, Tasty. Thanks, mate. Hello, Tasty speaking. You know this is, leave out the names. Wires may be tep. He done? Definitely. You slipped this time. I earned my bonus. You caught several non-competence, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Lay low. Watch your step. It's an order. I'll see you. That bit? Yeah. What's on his so-called mind? Pedestrians. They should have waited for the light to change. It's on, Tasty, and I mean on. It's all over, Tasty. It went on and crushed my heart. I had a tail, but I lost him by changing from taxi to trolley to taxi like Lot told me. What do they want me for? Everything, narcotics, killing, shakedowns. Narcotics, the feds in on this. Oh, it's all supposed to stop. And Vick's down on his toy phone. Oh, great, just great. Now we gotta hide out for a while, that's all. Yeah, but where? The town's so hot. Then that's the place to stay. Look, Tasty, I know where we can get a place. Quiet neighborhood, nice neighbors. That's all I need, nice neighbors. Oh, I just love my neighbors. Oh, shut up and listen, you three don't need to stay with us. Tasty'll wear dark glasses and limp and use a cane. Grow him a stash. He'll be my invalid husband, get it? Her friends will come to visit us. We'll be more respectable than the best people. Hey, that's smart thinking, Mary. Full proof. That's okay with me. Oh, it's funny, Mary. Oh, something. If the people in that neighborhood are like they used to be, you won't be getting caviar for gifts, Tasty. It'll be calves, foot, jelly, homemade. In just a moment, crime does not pay. We'll continue with female of the species. If you love old-time radio, you'll want to visit our friends at ClassicRadioStore.com who provide all the shows for me to wear. At ClassicRadioStore.com, you'll find thousands of episodes available in pristine, digitally remastered sound. Every episode they offer at ClassicRadioStore.com has been transferred from the master recordings and digitally remastered for superior sound quality. That's why the episodes that you hear on Weird Darkness sound so clean. And the shows at ClassicRadioStore.com are all uncut, unedited, and are delivered to you as they were originally broadcast, including the classic commercials. You can download great shows that'll chill you and thrill you, such as Suspense, The Whistler, Inner Sanctum, Lights Out, and more. There are mystery and crime shows like Sherlock Holmes, Philip Marlowe, Dragnet, and Sam Spade. They got a great collection of old-time science fiction radio shows like X-minus 1 or Dimension X. Plus, there is a ton of comedy and westerns there, too, if you want to relive the shows of yesteryear. All the shows are available to instantly digitally download, and the links never expire, so you can order them now and listen to them anytime you'd like. And because you're a listener of Weird Darkness, you can save 20% on any and all radio shows on the website by using the promo code Weird at Checkout. Just visit ClassicRadioStore.com, select all the radio show packages you want, then at Checkout, use the promo code Weird and save 20% on your whole purchase. That's ClassicRadioStore.com, Promo Code Weird at Checkout. We continue with Climb Does Not Pay, starring Mildred Natwick as Mary Curtis, with Ken Lynch as Tasty in Female of the Species. Tasty and Mary found just the sort of place for a hideout that Mary had in mind. The neighborhood was indeterminate to the point of monotony. All the apartment houses the same, all the stores the same, all the people the same. Nice, clean, middle-class people living their nice, clean, middle-class lives. Of course, Tasty and Mary were different. Tasty was the input, his cane and dark glasses very much in evidence. Mary played the part of the solicitous wife to perfection, even to the point of making friends with a pleasant gossipy neighbors. And then, the whole gang came to a party. Hey, come on over here and sit down. Some party out there. Having a good time? The best. Hey, I'd you like that smoked turkey? Oh, wonderful. One little Tasty let me have. Oh, Mary, you're wonderful. What a shindig. Our neighbor should see us now. I want somebody put in this drink. We are Charlie. We're respectable folks in this neighborhood. We're quiet. Okay, okay. I'm quiet, yippee. Cut it out, sweetheart. We got Tasty to think of. I'm thinking of Tasty. I'm always thinking of Tasty. Well, that's nice to hear. How are you, beautiful? Beautiful. Say all the boy's thoughts. It's no use, kid. Nothing is beautiful to Tasty except pheasant on the glass, dipped in black caviar. What's the war look to you, Tasty? Oh, not the dark glasses. Perfect. Now you like his mustache, boy. Well, it does something for him, but what? Well, I couldn't exactly say. Hey, what time is it? Just 10 o'clock. Turn the radio on, somebody. Riley's on the radio. And my spies tell me he's talking about me tonight. It's on, Tasty. Can't imagine that. Riley's a cop and Tasty is talking about Tasty. Tasty's famous, honey, didn't you know? Tasty's a big man. Don't you forget it. God, I want to hear this. What are the police doing about all this? The Reed Street Massacre is only part of it. This man, Joe Tasty Martin, is involved in more rackets than you or I would care to shake a stick at. Don't peddling the shakedown's organized murder. But can he be found? I ask you. Can he be found? I'm looking for him. Why, holy smokes. He's been reported in Mexico, in Paris, in Rome, in Buenos Aires. More gasoline has been expended on wild chases after him than would be used in a four-engine bomber on a coast-to-coast flight. And still, Tasty Martin is at large. Something's wrong, I say. Well, what do you know? I'm a world traveler. It's Riley, he knows. Bad you could drop in, fake trigger. I think you know Rod and Angel. This is Mrs. Curtis. How do you do, Mrs. Curtis? Will you have a drink, gentlemen? No, thank you. This is business. You're going in, Tasty. I what? I said you're going in. Giving yourself up. This is ridiculous. He'll fry. They'll throw a book at him. You can surrender the feds and the narcotics church. You'll get a leavened wife. You won't be in too long with good behavior. You ask a lot, Vic. We're losing money. There's so much heat on all over the world, half our organization doesn't dare operate. And the other half, Mr. Reynolds? You ought to know, Mrs. Curtis, that when I give an order, it's carried out without question. Yeah, I know, I know, Lenny. Mary, please. I got to have time to think this over, Vic. All right, 24 hours. Go through the motions, Tasty, if you want to, but you're going in and you know it. Come on for you. How much, boss? Been a pleasure meeting you at last, Mrs. Curtis. The gall of all the lousy, colossal gall. Mary. Go in, Tasty, you're costing us too much money. You have 24 hours to think it over. Yeah, or else you ought to know, Mrs. Curtis. Come on, boys, Mary, take it easy. I'll think of something. What does he think he is? He's costing me one, man. He's not costing me another. He's the boss, Mary, the big boss. I know who nobody disobeys. They better not to never get another chance like Jeff. Forget that, Jeff's dead. Tasty's alive. I want him that way, alive, and with me. I want that too. Frankly, Mary, I don't see. Maybe I do. How? Another hideout from both sides this time. Hey, that might be done. Where will it get us? Maybe farther than you think. The man who says no to big rentals and gets away with it. Maybe he's the next boss. I've got to hand it to you, Mary. A barge on the waterfront. Not goody, but neat. And safe. So damp it's ruining my hair and my clothes. You can fix that. There's no fixing lead poisoning, if you know what I mean. Lay off the kid, Mary. This hole is the worst yet. I don't like it, I tell you. I don't like it. Me neither. Wait, wait, give me the crate. All right, so it's not the Waldorf, but the food's good. I'm sick of a lot of you. Something goes wrong, you're fine like sick. Now, Mary, the kids have a right to beef. Maybe, but this is getting to be a habit. We came down here for a purpose. If I told you once, I told you 50 times, play this right and we'll put Vic out of business. He'll be out and we'll be in. But you don't take over by Quine and you use your brains and lead. Keep that in mind. Evening, everybody. Trigger, what? What's on your mind, Trigger? You got three hours, Tasty. Go in, or we'll take you in, complete with coffin. Sign, Vic rentals. How did you find us? We got ways. Maybe we're not so smart like you, Mrs. Curtis, but we got ways. Somebody talk. Maybe. Who knows, Mrs. Curtis? Who knows? Somebody talk. Not me, not me. Mary's right, somebody. Nobody talk. Nobody would double-cross you, Tasty. Shut up, Rod. You know the answer as well as I do. I didn't talk, I didn't talk. You got your answer, Tasty. A woman's got a right to savor, man. You, a woman, you stupid little two-piece bit of... Rod! She's got a gun! Cover him, Tasty. Watch Rod. Don't do it, Mary. Don't do it. Hands in front of your right. Stay clear, Angel. Don't worry about me, Tasty. Where do you want it, sweetheart? You're pretty face. You skinny little belly. No, no. I'll make it up to you. I'll give you everything I got. Ah! Look out for Rod, Tasty. Well, boys, looks like now we're three. Tasty? You awake? Yeah, yeah. Is Angel all right? Angel's okay. I'm gonna look. Who's that? Me. Mary. Any sign of anyone? Not a thing, but those whistles. It's quiet. Too quiet. I don't like it. The three hours were up at midnight. I don't like it at all. This is the place, Davy. Hey, what a join, Trigger. Oh, what a join. Now, remember now. They'll have somebody watching. I'll get the door open. You stay just out of sight to one side. But cover me going in, okay? Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. All right, let's go. You all set? Oh, stop worrying. I'm with you. Ain't he sweet? Sleeping like a little angel. I ain't wasting no lead on him. A chivalry to it. Nice. They're here. Angel was sleeping. He was sleeping as right, lady. Look out. She's got a gun. And I can use it, too. I call. You phone in? Yes, sir. At the barge? Yes, sir. All right, come along. I'd rather not, sir. You're safe. They're all dead. I looked once. The fellow with the knife in his throat. I'd rather not again, sir. I heard the guns. I looked and I called you. Okay, stay here. Let's have a look, Pete. All right. What a mess. Not pretty, but nice. You know them? This one's Trigger Jackson Vic Reynolds torpedo. Yeah. The one with the shiv in his neck is the angel. That's Jeff Curtis' widow. This is Davey Hunter. Over by the door. Tasty Martin. He was in town all the time. Sure looks like it. Well, nothing to do here but send for the meat wagon. Something funny? Yeah, I was thinking. He's supposed to taste he enjoyed his lead cocktail as much as he liked black caviar. Prime does not pay. Mildred Natwick, who was starred as Mary Curtis in Female of the Species, will be back with you in just a moment. Here in person is Mildred Natwick. Perhaps I should take umbridge when the old saying the female of the species is more deadly than the male is applied so perfectly to a character like Mary Curtis. But if this role serves the purpose for which it was intended then no woman need be angry over the title because the purpose is a simple one. To help decent citizens everywhere understand that they can protect their homes and their pockets by refusing to aid in a bet organized crime in any way. Men like Vic Reynolds and Tasty Martin and women like Mary Curtis are helped to power every time people like you and I put a dime in a slot machine fail to take an interest in the control of narcotics shrug off corruption in high places. We, you and I can take the profit out of violence by taking a real and active interest in the enforcement of the law and the administration of justice. Only you and I can prove the truth in the statement that crime does not pay. Thank you Mildred Natwick. Crime does not pay is written by Iro Marion and directed by Mark V. Loeb with music composed and conducted by John Gart. Technical advisor is Burton B. Turkish. The events, characters and names used in the story you've just heard are fictitious. Any similarity is purely coincidental. Thanks for listening to this week's Retro Radio episode of Weird Darkness. If you like the show, please share it with someone you know who loves old time radio. And a huge thanks to our friends at ClassicRadioStore.com for generously providing the old time radio shows you hear on Weird Darkness Retro Radio Sunday. Remember, you can save 20% on all of the ClassicRadioStore.com shows by using the promo code weird at checkout. The rest of the week, I narrate new stories of the paranormal or strange stories, true crime, monsters and mysteries. So be sure to subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already done so. I upload episodes 7 days a week. You can email me anytime with your questions or comments at Darren at WeirdDarkness.com Darren is D-A-R-R-E-N and you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Minds, Miwi and the show's Weirdo's Facebook group on the contact social page at WeirdDarkness.com Also on the website, if you have a true paranormal or creepy tale to tell of your own, click on Tell Your Story or call the dark line toll-free at 1-877-277-5944 That's 1-877-277-5944 Weird Darkness is a production of Marlar House Productions Copyright Weird Darkness 2021 I'm Darren Marlar Thanks for joining me in the Weird Darkness