 Well hello and welcome to Jonathan from the Heart. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic why men love These types of women. Are you one of them? Are you one of them? All right Before we get started really quickly. These are my Saturday morning videos that I shoot on my balcony I overlook the marina here in Redondo Beach and If this content resonates with you, this is actually the same format I shoot for my videos I shoot for my private group called Midlife Love Mastery. Check out the link below This is where I ask answer your personal questions with videos just like this in a private forum And you get access to me on a regular basis. So again, that's Midlife Love Mastery Okay, why men love these types of women? Are you one of them? All right, so this video was birthed from something by the way these Jonathan from the heart videos are more personal videos Where I share more of a personal experience with you And as I was about to say this video was birthed from Something that I learned from my son Connor and those who follow my work know that my son Connor passed away two years ago and He inspired me to write a book and One of the chapters in the book is called don't let anyone Fuck with your chi don't let anyone fuck with your chi and the point here is that And this actually piggyback something. Oh, by the way, my book is called what the heck is self-love anyway Don't let anyone fuck with your chi is on chapter five if you've purchased my book already Please post a comment loam. Hello below. Let me know that you have But it piggybacked something that I learned in the book the four agreements And if you're not familiar with the four agreements, do me a favor buy this book This is a great book for creating a standard of living for yourself And in this book it talks about be impeccable with your word Don't make assumptions. Don't let other people's projections of you or thoughts of you affect how you feel about yourself So this piggybacks on Connor. Oh, and by the way, my t-shirts Well, I'll get to this in a second says don't be a salty bitch. Don't be a salty bitch Conner's nickname was salty and And so many people have been so generous. They've sent me salty this salty that in fact my coffee mug today He says salty vibes in honor of Connor And Why this is so important is Connor had this ability to not let other people's projections of them Bother allow him to affect how he felt about himself So he literally had this air of confidence about him because it was he wasn't overly Sensitive to how the other people felt about him both positive or negative He let he maintained a level of sovereignty a level of inner confidence And I got to tell you he was a magnet to women. I mean they just Gravitated to him Because of this inner confidence this inner now I believe there was a level of self-love for him Which again was the reason why I wrote the book But why does this relate to the type of types of women men are attracted to? Well, I think this inner confidence comes from again self-love But there's this other book out there that you may have heard of it's called Here, let me pull it up on my screen because I don't actually own it It's called why men love bitches Why men love bitches and the subtitle and that's really what I want to lean into today is From doormat to dream girl a woman's guide to holding her own in relationship Hence why I'm wearing the don't be a salty pitch, but And by the way, it's a derogatory term. I'm not Even remotely suggesting I appreciate the term, but I've created an acronym from this term or not I have but I've heard this acronym before and bitch stands for babe in total control of herself babe in total control of herself and Just like Connor had this inner confidence within himself. I Want to invite you to have that inner confidence as well and many of you might be asking well How do I gain that inner confidence? How do I become this type of woman and I'm asking you are you this type of woman? Well, I want you to lean into this book the four agreements as one way to By the way, you can buy the book why men love bitches I'm and by the way, I have link below to Jonathan recommends in the description. So these are the books I recommend I'm not necessarily endorsing this book But what I appreciate about it is this idea Shifting from doormat to that inner confidence and you might find some great nuggets in that book and just like the four agreements You can lean into your own inner confidence because let's face it ladies. You love confident men, right? You you like the idea of being with a confident man and many of you already have this confidence great I'm excited for you many not and Mostly because many of us myself included suffer from childhood wounds and traumas That have been unhealed or at least not healing or adult traumas And this is why dating is so complicated because human beings aren't Naturally confident it just we're not I mean some people are born that way. Maybe Maybe it's just something passed through the DNA. I don't know I believe it's a learned behavior How to build that confidence in within yourself? This is why if you watch my videos I'm continually recommending book after book after book because I'm not going to sell you on some Coaching program over a six-month period of time for a year period of time or or even those ones that do a one-week Program where all of a sudden you just have this natural confidence I believe it's built over time and I'm a big proponent of reading the books and learning Little by little little by little little by little to build that confidence and within yourself This is why I recommended this book in a recent video I'm going to do it again Check out the book by Brene Brown daring greatly daring greatly and I want to read you the subtitle and I'm putting on my glasses. Please. Let me know what you think of my glasses post a comment below I feel dorky when I wear it, but the subtitle how the courage to be vulnerable Transforms the way we live love parent and lead How the courage to be vulnerable? Because one of the elements of that bitch we talked about that babe in total control of herself is she has a capacity especially in relationship to be vulnerable with a man to be able to express her feelings not from a place of fear and I go back to my book keep holding it up. What the heck is self-love anyway chapter one speak your truth Speak your truth. These are your feelings. It's okay to be a boner bow with a guy and do it with kindness That's the chair. That's the title of that chapter speak your truth do it with kindness Ladies stop being afraid of scaring a guy away by sharing your feelings It's by sharing your feelings. It actually gets a man to rise to the occasion It demonstrates his metal can he handle and I don't mean handle in the sense of like Stat you know erratic feelings. I'm talking about your sincere and from the heart feelings and what I mean by handle Can he lean into your sincere and heartfelt feelings? Or is he gonna run or pull away? Is he gonna pull away? Is he gonna run? Is he gonna disappear? You want those guys to disappear a babe in total control of herself is not afraid of a man disappearing pulling away or leaning back And this is why when you do the lean back all this this is two people leaning back We're all leaning back. We're not leaning. This is why I'm a big proponent of leaning into each other lean into the relationship You know Or you don't know I've come to realize that one of the challenges today Centers around a lack of commitment by people a lack of commitment people are entering into relationship without any sincere desire to really be committed with one another and This is why most people can they start a lot of times, you know We start in the beginning, you know very close together the the 50 yard line because we're amped up on lust and limerence and and chemistry And maybe a small belief that there's this person's the one But what eventually gets but what happens is as minute we we start to show who we are People run away. They go to the other ends of the field and what happens is when they're at the other end of the football I'm using a football analogy. Okay I'm sure those women in the south who will get this right or any woman or man who loves football Is if you're at the opposite end of the field The only way it's gonna get like this is a commitment to getting here a commitment to getting here and And ladies most of you are letting the man run the show here with commitment and I'm here to say you are the leaders of your relationship a Babe in total control of herself is like she knows she is interviewing a guy to be the boyfriend Or potential partner. It's an interview process Just like that. You know, in other words, they're applying for the job And by the way, men should be doing the same thing Interviewing and what I don't mean interviewing like doing in this, you know, like, you know, like checking off the box is kind of interview I'm saying asking really deep Questions to get to know if someone wants to be in relationship and if you need help and asking those questions I've created a whole coaching program on this In fact, there's a link below if you're interested and if this resonates with you Then check out my link for a free discovery call to see of working with the coaches right for you Listen, I'm not trying to sell here per se. I want to help you. Okay, if you feel like this resonates Then I'm open to helping you and if and by the way, if you're not interested in coaching, do me a favor read the books I recommend these are all going to begin to help build your inner confidence And many of you already confident that's great Then you need to learn the mechanics of a healthy happy relationship to take this from here to here That's where you want to get to you want to get to each other on the 50 yard line And then you can take this drive as a two-lane street so We oftentimes start here because of chemistry and then as soon as our wounds and traumas it kind of pulls us apart and the only thing that's going to bring us back together is the agreement of commitment and It takes time to build the roots to commitment. This is why the mechanics of understanding a relationship is so important I didn't bring my book eight dates, but I talked about the book eight dates by dr. John Gottman. Please. There is a link below To this book eight dates is a great book to understand how we get from here to here and guess what? And this is what a babe in total control of herself does She can lean into the relationship said hey look it if you want to spend time with me Then we're going to co-create this relationship if you want to have regular sex with me We're going to co-create this relationship. If you're not willing to co-create then bye-bye Bye-bye next I've been saying this for years Next it's swipe the other way if a guy isn't willing to co-create But you're afraid stop being afraid to speak your truth Not emotional chaos truth. I'm talking about sincere and from the heart truth Please is this resonating is this am I getting through here? I know I sometimes in my previous videos I've been I've heard complaints about cursing and whatnot, but I'm trying to be that wake-up call I want you to lean into your heart and say what do I really want out of this journey of life? That's the other benefit of reading my book. It's taking you down a journey For self-love Because when you genuinely love on yourself and you can be you can be in that babe in total control just like Connor You'll become a magnetic attractor men will be flocking to you literally from an energetic spiritual perspective So do the work Choose men who have also done some work Not the men that are emotionally unavailable And if you haven't watched my video the five signs of emotional maturity, please check it out Somewhere below in my videos I'll try to put the link up as well Five signs of emotional maturity. This is going to help you for choosing a man But the types of quiet the high-quality men choose these types of women I'm going to ask you are you what I just talked about today And if you are please post a comment below This is my Jonathan from the heart videos again if you like this format This is what I do in my private group called midlife love mastery check out the link below And I'm going to sign off this videos I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self-love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more hugs in our lives Thanks so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye. Bye now