 Ladies and gentlemen, Tony Gaskins here. Thank you so much for joining me. God bless whoever Already showed up and showed out in that Cut light on in here on the donation look like somebody already Sinning a blessing. I really appreciate that. I think y'all so much for joining I want to pop in because you know, as you know, it's the new year and Trying to Bring in the new year the right way. I really appreciate you all for being members of the channel for those of you who have joined the bless tribe It means more to me than you understand Just having people who are willing to go that extra mile and just be a blessing and make YouTube Really a place to be for me. I have had this YouTube channel since 2011 and didn't really start using it until 2019, you know, on a in a real way like Consistently and it's been great a place for me to kind of get through all the questions that I receive in the inbox I have an email address that the members have if you don't have you got to go back to the community section and read through and I get questions there and I try to pull pieces from those questions and turn it into a video and I have over a Thousand questions still left to read and that's not including all of the questions that go to my advice email and the support email and all the questions that go to my DM and inboxes so Me being able to use YouTube every day and pop in and answer a question. I Mean if I do a video every day of the year is 365 videos, but like I said, I got over a thousand questions to still read in one inbox So I thank y'all for supporting me and the work. I'm trying to do Makima thank you so much for joining as a member dance to unite If you want to join the channel as a member so that you can join in on the chats And when we do Q&A's on Sunday, the link is in the description of this video It'll say to join the channel as a member. Now. I want you to think about this and really really ask yourself Are you prepared? Do you really want this year? And I'll take your questions in a little bit, but this really is not a Q&A It's really me talking to you and I want you to get your notebooks if you're sitting down and Kind of jot down some notes and really ask yourself Are you prepared and do you truly want your 2020 to be better than your 2019 and a lot of times we hear this and people say it y'all give me one second Let me try to do something here. I gotta figure something out. Y'all don't want to say it. All right. I'm back I had to put sorry about that. I had to put my phone on do not disturb Notifications was coming in and we always say we want to do better and I'll be honest with you It's so many things out there talking about The secret to success and the secret to this and the secret to that and what I realized Listen to me. What I realized is that nobody truly knows What they are talking about nobody knows what they're talking about and Understand what I'm saying is that people only know What they know based on what they have done People can only speak from experience so a person What can have no success and can say hey, here's the secret to success And but thank you so much for joining as a member on the group amber is also a part of my my mastermind and Amber is a life coach and a speaker herself So y'all make sure y'all subscribe to her YouTube channel and People will say hey, I got the secret to success. I got the secret to this secret to that and Ville could bless you and really in today's world Some of those people could have accomplished nothing but just know how to market and the difference between those people and The other people a lot of times is just the willing to do The willing to step out there the willing being willing to make it happen And so what you have to realize is you have to literally Talk to yourself and make the mindset shift Honestly speak to yourself say it out loud and Recite it to yourself and I go through every day with my goals and Here's another thing that people don't really understand with my goals. I don't write my goals down. I really I Don't write them down. I I have not I missed some of y'all joining as a member. Let me see what this was a Nadria your favorite rapper. Thank you. God bless you. Let's all you bless you So Ronnie bless a when somebody joins a member y'all welcome them because I if I'm reading this I won't be able to talk to you. So y'all welcome the new members who join him and The people who send in a blessing. God bless you But I don't write my goals down now. I tell Some of my clients to write their goals down if that's how their mind works But what I want you to understand is everybody's mind works differently Victoria bless you and you have to do what's right for you because You can end up following somebody else's blueprint and it leads you astray So you have to figure out and the only way you're gonna figure this out is through trial and error You got to figure out what works for you. So waking up at 5 a.m. Might not work for you Right in your goals doing a vision board might not work for you. I remember doing a vision board and It didn't help me at all Because that's not how my mind works for me. It has to be on the tables of my heart. It has to be in my spirit I say it every day. I say it all day whatever. I'm trying to bring into my life I'm repeating it over and over and so this is what works for me Now you may have the mindset to where your mind may work best when you sit down and you get a pen and pad and You write it as you're writing it That etching on the paper is kind of inscribing in your mind and in your heart And when you finish writing it now, you feel like it's real You have declared and decreed that this is going to happen in your life And so for you that may be what you need to do But what I'm noticing and I'm gonna be honest with you here. I'll be honest with you It's just those who do and those who don't As I'm dealing with humans What I'm realizing is that Nobody is special Nobody is any more special than the next person Every single person has a unique set of gifts and the only thing in between Is who's willing to take action and who isn't that's the only difference Because if you are a human being You were created for a reason for a purpose and you have a purpose to fulfill and When you look at and you get close to people who are earning millions of dollars What you'll realize is that there's nothing really special It's just that they had the audacity to take action so you got to be able to make up in your mind make up in your mind and make a Decision that you're going to take action and you got to shift your mindset and I can't fully explain how the universe works But one thing that I've realized is that when I speak something and I say I want to do something I say I'm going to do something things start to align and what happens is is when you speak it now You've opened your mind. You've unlocked your mind. So now when you say I want to meet this person I want to meet that person. I want to do this. I want to do that now Whereas you could have just walked right past a person and not spoke Because you were in your head and you were focused on yourself Now because you've spoken what you want to do now you are in Expectation of who am I going to bump into today? Who am I going to meet today that could be the person that I need? I got a goal right now that one of my companies I want to sell my company and So it's a company I want to sell because I'm not maximizing it But yet it earns hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, but I'm not maximizing it and I'm not focusing on it so I want to sell it and I will cash out in a lump sum and then let somebody who's going to take it and maximize it and focus on it Let them take and be abundantly blessed from it. So what did I do? I went and I wrote somebody who I know is in that space I wrote another person who I know is in that space because now I'm actively seeking and So I want you to think about that and you have to speak it and you have if you need to write it then write it But it has to be a mindset shift a decision that you make So that you go from just sitting and waiting Idly and you go to now I'm going to be diligent now I'm going to be focused now I'm going to take action and what you'll realize is that as you start moving It's moving towards you as you take action and you create momentum Then the momentum starts to build and momentum creates more momentum. So Realize this and Think about this think about Your family Think about your mother your father your grandmother Whoever raised you think about that person or those people sometimes it takes a village to raise a child so I want you to think about that and Think about because a lot of times it's a whole lot easier for us to Evaluate somebody else for us to look at somebody else and point out their problems. So what you have to do is Look at somebody else your friends and your family members and look at and see can you pinpoint? The generational curses that they are suffering from See, can you pinpoint where they are failing and why they are failing and what part of their mindset is? Causing them to fail think about that and when you do that What you're going to realize is that how you were able to pinpoint where they are failing and why they're failing There may be seeds of that in you There may be seeds of that that you're struggling with yourself Because a lot of times the same things your mother or your father or your guardian Whoever raised you from whoever raised you a lot of times the same things that they are suffering with You have pieces of that in you that you're suffering with because it was a mindset that was passed down And I had to check this out and I had to make sure that I'm not passing down any limiting beliefs to my children Because I could say well, you know what you don't really need Straight A's with no a-minuses. I could say that because I didn't have that But my oldest son had straight A's with no a-minuses and he's one of a few students in his grade doing that And so I let him do that and he wants to do that and do chess club soccer Baseball this and that all over the place We just got back home today from him being five days in Panama City Beach when in an all-american soccer Camp and so he wants to be busy and moving instead of me speaking my limiting beliefs on him. I just I Let him be his best And so you got to think about who spoke something on you Who planted a seed of doubt in you one thing I meet a lot of times is I meet a lot of people who I Hate to pull up on people in I hate to pull up on people in some foreign and and and living abundant and and stretching outside of the box and then they look at me and Sometimes it's individuals who they have they had a wide open opportunity in this country And they look at me and they say well, how I'm not understanding. How did you get ahead of me? And That's not a good feeling when you look around and you see people Around you who are trapped by mindset and I see a lot of individuals who I See some people who they they brag all the time about their degrees Oh, I got two degrees. I got three degrees. Oh, I got a masters. Oh, I got a doctorate Oh, I got this I got that. Oh, I did this I did that and Somebody thank you Evan for letting me know I ain't doing questions yet. This is a talking session So get your pen and pad and I see people bragging about these certain accolades, but yet still stuck in the rat race still going to a job they hate or don't even have a job to go to and miserable, but they were told that That degree defines you and that that degree is what success is and that that will be All of your success. That's the limit of your success. That is what defines who you are in the world and I'm bumping in the people and they're looking and they're like Well, how in the world you got out the rat race at 27 years old How in the world you did this you did that you did that people start to ask you a wonder Who told you that you were allowed? to Break the mold Who told you that you could work from home? Who told you that you could start your own business? Who told you that you can earn hundred of thousands of dollars or millions of dollars Using your natural gifts. Who told you that Pete went when you make a decision People will start to inquire within and ask you Who gave you permission to be different? Who gave you permission to live an abundant lifestyle? Who gave you permission? to define success to redefine success to redefine the dream In whatever country you're in and that's what I want you to think about and really start to understand and ask yourself What am I suffering from? What am I struggling with? What am I struggling from that comes from my environment that comes from my family that comes from my friends? What dream did I want to activate that somebody spoke doubt into? instead of speaking life into what happened and Why did I give up on my hopes and my dreams? And now this is the thing is you got to be and When I say realistic, I don't mean Realistic in the sense of you can't dream big but what I mean is you got to be practical So you can't just say oh, I want to do this. I want to do this I want to do this and you got all of these things that just sound crazy and it sounds unattainable It sounds, you know, like you cannot Accomplish that and you and you say that so big so that you have a Reason to fail so that you have a right to fail so that you can say well My dream was so big. I could never get the help or the breakthrough that I needed instead of taking that Macro dream and making it a micro dream and starting in your garage in your living room in your closet starting where you are with what you have and Activating the dream and doing what you feel you are called to do from that space and then Creating and taking one step at a time and then going from there So you got to be realistic in the sense that you're gonna have to do something where you are Stepping outside of your comfort zone and you're saying you know what I'm gonna change my life Because you have you have to ask yourself and you got to realize well, how can these people without? college degrees without mentors without training go on to work for themselves and earn a living And create and redefine success How can they do that? And I'm not doing it. You will have to make your decision Now the next thing what I want you to think about is think about your circle think about who you are entertaining Think about who you are talking to who you're dealing with now. I remember I was talking about eagles and turkeys. I heard metaphor being used and Kim, thank you for being a member and I was talking about eagles and turkeys and It was a lady. She wrote me and she said hey Tony. I'm I'm working with my son. I was reading with my son and We would he was studying eagles and one thing I learned is that eagle saw alone and so for me, I don't really have a circle in the sense of My wife does not understand everything that I'm doing and trying to do she she just supports me She may not Have an idea to take it to the next level because it's not her area It's not her gifting so she kind of watches me work and supports me And then she helps where I need help at when I can lean on her I can't I don't have anybody that I can go to and talk to about what I'm doing and what I'm building and Them understand it and be able to add value to it. I don't have a mentor So I don't have somebody that I can get on the phone with and say hey, I'm getting ready to do this What you think and then what I realized? Nobody has the blueprint that God gave me he gave it to me So you have to understand that not everybody Most people around you may not have Your vision because they don't have your lenses So you cannot get frustrated and give up just because you don't have anybody to confide in and The people that I probably could learn something from they don't even do one-on-one sessions Because once you cross a million followers online, most people stop doing one-on-one sessions You know, I remember it was somebody on YouTube and I was gonna Book the person for a session and he told me what his hourly rate was and it was a crazy rate But I was okay send me the invoice and he never responded He moved on with his life because he's making so much money and got so much of a following He don't even do sessions anymore And so I don't have anybody that I can go and talk to and get useful feedback from and Most of the time if I go and I talk to somebody their feedback may just confuse me more than When I started and so I say that to say You're gonna hear this advice from people that says Oh, you need a mentor you need a mentor you need a mentor But what you're doing you may not be able to get a mentor So you got to go regardless You got to implement your blueprint because you're gonna you have the download and You may not understand how to do everything But you have to do what you know how to do and you have to make it make sense to you Make your system makes sense to you take the action that you know how to take you may say look I don't know how to internet market But I know how to go door-to-door showing people my product that I just made or the food I'm cooking or the pictures I'm painting or the sessions I know how to hand out business cards at the mall in the grocery store at the job I don't know how to you know master YouTube and Facebook and Instagram But I know how to hand out this flyer So you have to create the system that makes sense to you and then you will learn as you go And then somebody may see what you're doing. I remember one time I tried to have a a mentor and The mentor I was stronger in certain areas than he was and Instead and he got jealous of that and then when I was trying to help him Although I was learning from it was areas that I had shrimps and I was trying to help him And I remember one time I offered help and he said to me You this is a mentor mentee Relationship you are nothing to me. You can do nothing for me That is what you just said to me is a business proposition Don't you ever in your life make a business proposition to me? I do not need you You cannot do anything for me and I'm like wow If I had a mentee who was strong in an area that I'm weak in and they willing to help me in that area I'm gonna let him help me in that area But I say that the same is sometimes while you so busy Looking for a mentor you may find somebody who sees a gift in you that they are jealous and Envious of and see some people will take you under their wing so that you can't soar higher than them Write that down and so you have to be mindful of every person in your circle You got to be mindful of who you're talking to because you your mama May pour salt in your womb Your daddy your sister your spouse your boyfriend your girlfriend your best friend may Rain on your parade because they cannot see what you see They are trapped in a mindset that they don't believe that what you're trying to do is possible Can you imagine going to somebody who the most they have earned in their life is? $50,000 in a year and you tell them that you will one day be earning $50,000 in a month What will that do to their mindset? You remember Joseph Joseph was you know the baby at the time And he went to his brothers and to his father and he told him he said look I had a dream Joseph say look I had a dream and I was on top and Y'all were bowing to me like y'all were Praising me like I was above y'all and they said what? What you above up? Oh you crazy. Oh, you'd have lost your mind. Oh All this we doing for you. You think you're gonna be over us and Joseph brothers wanted to kill him and then the other brothers said no no no let's not kill them Let's just throw them in this here ditch Throw them in the ditch. Oh here come somebody coming down the road. Let's sell them Let's sell them in the slavery since he want to rule over us your friends and your family You got to have your eyes and your ears open because when you hear somebody because see you could love somebody You can love somebody and you can trust them But if they're trapped and they lost and and they have these limiting beliefs that's blocking and hindering them You can share with them You can share with them your dream and they can say to you That ain't gonna work that ain't gonna work because it is this this this this this and you like what what in the world I Remember when I was building I was building my infrastructure a family member said to me look man You're doing too much. You're doing too much. You got too much going on. You got too much going on. I said listen Ain't doing all of this. I'm just putting everything in place This the infrastructure that everything gonna stand on And then when I get to the right place, then I can activate But I wanted to all be built before I get there. So I'm just putting in place This the book. This the workbook This the online course This the seminar this the tech project this this this this this I'm putting it in place But when I was talking to people who didn't have vision They couldn't see what I was talking about so they just rain on the parade And so you have to understand that and you need people you got to make sure the people that you're dealing with Anybody you talking to that even if they cannot see your vision, they don't try to distort your vision They don't try to blind your vision. They don't try to block your vision But they just support you and they encourage you even if they don't understand it They push you forward and they give you some words of encouragement and that's what you got to be sure of That's what you got to pay attention to and what I want you to think about is Start taking action Start taking action. You got to double down. You got to double down. I remember I went to an event and And I was building my brand, you know building my business I saw an event and the event was $300 I didn't have $300. I did not have $300 But I took and I spent at $300 and it was my last 300 I went to the event and I think I had a hundred dollars in my account and A guy was on the stage and he was talking and he was talking about something that I needed a course that I needed And he was selling the course for a thousand and I say listen, okay, I Went to him after I say listen, I got a hundred dollars So I'm gonna give you this here a business card because I hadn't created a business bank account created my business So I'm gonna put this business card information down on this form Don't run this until Monday Don't don't run this till Monday Monday came he processed the order. This was like a Saturday. He processed the order My account went into the native 905 dollars But see a business account it'll let you do that Personal account it wouldn't let me do that old raggedy Bank of America, but that business there let you go I went into the negative 905 dollars I Shattered the story because a lot here people Will write in and I'm doing a five dollar course sale and they'll say I don't have five dollars $10 I don't have $10 And I say You don't have you don't have Time to be successful. You don't have the hunger to be successful if you are not willing to sacrifice For yourself ain't nobody else gonna be willing to sacrifice for you If you are not willing to double down and invest in you Nobody else going to invest in you So here I was going into the negative I'm going into the negative But guess what investor started coming to me a want to invest in you want to invest in you People come to me today and and I've built some success today and people will come and they'll say look Tony I want to bless you. I want to give you a donation to your business and I'm like wow This is because you bless me and I'm like wow That's crazy But nobody will invest in you unless they see you investing in yourself So in 2020 stop making excuses stop telling yourself what you don't have what you can't afford What what you cannot do and start speaking? I Have what I need I have the money I need I'm gonna invest the money I need in this book or in this seminar or wherever you need to go Whatever you need or even if it's just time cuz time is money. So I literally eat all day today I was driving six hours And I and I had a airpot in and the whole six hours I had an airpot in and I'm listening the whole way. I already created success I already created 11 companies over 50 streams of income, but I'm still investing I'm still investing and so you have to do what you need to do to invest in yourself Hey, I want to open up for some questions Cuz y'all know me now I've been talking I'm talking four hours on here. I told my wife this first day of the year. I got to go into the year with momentum I got to create momentum So she said she got some work to do so I say hey I'm getting on this here live and I'm finna go and If my if my phone start to die, I'm gonna have to unplug my microphone and plug in my charger So, you know That sound might get bad Thank you so much. Thank you to the new members that's joining me I really appreciate you joining the bless try now what we do in the bless try We do a Q&A on Sunday nights at 9 p.m. If I'm able to this Sunday I'll be out of town working with us on college basketball team and Speaking with them doing a life skill session on Friday and then they got a big game on Saturday And so I don't fly back until Sunday. So I don't know if I'll be in time for the Q&A But for those of you who asked a question earlier before I was taking them if you post it now I may be able to see it Norisha McLeod Tony, I definitely want to attend the event Saturday 11. I have $500 but haven't paid my rent yet That's due on the third and won't get paid until the night. What should I do? Pay your rent pay your rent. Do you need a roof over your head now? You get paid on the night Then if if the Lord make a way, but you don't put it out there now You don't put it out there. So now you said look, that's what I need in order to Become a certified life coach to get the training I need to start my life coaching business at $500 So on the night if you might be able to do it the event not to the level so one thing I've learned about I don't know. I don't know Who or what you believe in? Me personally me myself personally. I believe in God. Okay. I know it's a lot of y'all atheist A lot of y'all agnostics. I don't know what that is But me myself personally, I believe in God and one thing I've learned about God. I remember it was not I remember One time laying down and I said I was I was going to sleep. I said Lord listen Lord. Hey Lord, I got some invoices out there Lord, I need an invoice to be paid Lord you touch that lady heart. I said touch that lady heart to pay that invoice and the invoice was probably $3,000 and I said that prayer about midnight when I woke up that next morning the invoice was paid and The person paid it in the middle of the night The time it came in was like 3 a.m. I said look here. I Said what a God I serve I remember I because I start building business. So when I build this I expand it So my bills went up my investments went up everything when I'm in one time me I needed eleven thousand dollars and I said Lord I need eleven thousand in two weeks and I and I put it out there I said it to my mom and everything guess what I think fifteen thousand came in I Served God. I don't know who y'all serve But one thing God and showed me over and over and over there It's a God in heaven. There's a God in heaven. What I mean by that is in the spiritual realm There's good spirit. There's a good spirit and that's God and his evil spirit. That's the adversary So you got the naming and claiming you got to put it out there what you need and see somebody might come to you and say You know what I heard and see when you want something you got to speak it to people You might be talking to your best friend your best friend might have a 800 credits goal So your best friend might have a chase card That's got a 25,000 dollar limit on it when you talking to your friend you might say to your friend I really want to become a life coach because I need us another stream of income doing something that I Would love to do and say well, how you gonna become a life coach and you say well I saw this course and it's $500, but you know, I'm saving up for it. You know what? I didn't get you nothing for Christmas I'm gonna get you that course. Hey, here you go So when you want something you got to speak it you got to put it out there You never know what your blessing gonna come from you never know where it's gonna come from So that's what I mean by speaking now. What this is the hidden dead. I Don't know if I'm pronounced your name, right? pelange pelange pelange It's does that French I forgive me but God bless you God bless you because I don't know if this if you paid me in rands But it's a 49 99 God bless you my Lord Give her a thousand fold increase My goodness, I still ain't got my iPhone 11, but I'm getting ready to get it I'm wife told my need to stop playing and go and get that iPhone letter I want this picture to be better for y'all cuz see this is nothing people say they want to do YouTube and they think they Gotta have all this expensive equipment all this right here. I got this little thing my wife bought me that got these lights on it and And my phone stuck it got a little thing that stick on to the mirror and the phone Stick inside of there and I'm talking to y'all on my iPhone 10 And I bought a 12 dollar lav mic and I plug it into the phone and It's sitting on the desk in front of me and that's my setup And got all these fancy cameras and and all this team all that no talking to you Live and direct in effect So you got to make do with what you have and and I told y'all now Listen, I told y'all in this a lesson on procrastination I Told y'all The courses on Tony gasses Academy calm for five dollars and I left them five dollars, but I say on the first it's going up Because this is a sale and I know people are so used to sales tactics and snake oil salesman You probably procrastinated if you go to Tony gasses Academy calm right now You're gonna be upset Because the courses have went back to the market price for those you who took advantage of them same portion for five dollars Look at Carmel kiss of God bless you now go look at them courses Too late Claribel Miss purpose say she used procrastinating but she bought three ace out now go look at your savings Okay, I see ball over six go look at your savings go go look at the site now They had a market rate But the reason why I do that because I want people to understand about procrastination I want people to understand that it ain't everybody out here is not a snake oil salesman trying to Scam you and all of this when I say I'm doing something I'm doing it from the heart and it's gonna be crazy ridiculous. It's gonna be a crazy ridiculous gift From the heart, but when it going back is going back Mm-hmm, Claribel go check and see I ain't gonna tell you It's still ain't full market value, but it ain't five dollars no more Why would a man go through extreme measures to please a woman in the bedroom? Example would get a rub burns on knees until he is bleeding. Is that consider self-hate? Oh, Nika You nasty we're not talking about Need burns in the bedroom And I'm gonna Tell on the God bless you. How much are your one-on-ones? You know what the one-on-ones supposed to go up on the first today, but I have not changed the link yet Um It was 220 it was supposed to be 250 now It's people who have not done half of what I've done as far as brand wise And they charge twice what I charge a lot of people who built their brand to a certain point They don't even do one-on-ones anymore The reason why I do them is because I still want to keep my finger on the pulse So what's going on in the world? I don't ever want to be Untouchable Jesus the greatest man to walk the face of the earth and you still could touch the him of his garment and so Alicia thank you. Alicia Lewis bless you. So I that's why I still do one-on-ones, but I'm not accepting clients right now in this month Because my whole January is booked up with clients and booked into February. So I don't want to just keep it setting people To me got nine courses Now sometimes I have to pray because when I see people go to getting all the courses and I'm and I'm like Lord I'm just giving the course away. It's a $200 course. I'm giving away for five dollar But I said the Lord remind me Why he called me and what he told me to do Uncle Tony would you advise anyone to take a pay cut following a dream job a job? That's not lucrative in the beginning, but we'll be in one to five year period Absolutely, you know take the pay cut If it's a dream job Take the pay cut because not all about money the money gonna come and if you're doing what you love But bigger than that Everybody's not an entrepreneur But everybody has something they can add to the world So while you take that job, but think about what you can do outside of that job Think about what you can do what you can create that you can't be fired from I want you to think about that I'm looking for the questions, but it's it's a lot of people right So I can't see them all if you if I if you posted a question earlier and I missed it Posted in here again Alicia God bless you the one-on-ones you have to email support at Tony gas and calm but I'm not accepting clients right now, so they probably Will tell you the right back in February Daisy bless you You really doubled down and I'll tell you now the course is even though they went up They still are not all the way Where they supposed to be other? Influences they laugh at my prices But I'm not out here just trying to gouge people and just charge people all this money just because you can do it That don't make sense to me cuz cuz God watching you got to answer the God. God know your heart Hey Tony blessing to you and your family. I'm in transition of healing after leaving abuse But I'm finding it difficult not to have anger towards my baby daddy. How can I not have anger? um The way you're gonna not have anger is you're gonna have to Do the work meaning you're gonna have to Do therapy or do coaching or take the courses read the books? read Make it work read single is not a curse read Mrs. Right and what's gonna happen is you're going to get new knowledge And when you get the knowledge you're going to get an understanding And when you have knowledge and you have an understanding It's going to build your confidence and when it starts to build your confidence now You're gonna start to understand why your baby daddy is who he is and why he is the way he is And what you also have to do in this process is you have to seek to understand So when you seek to understand you're gonna realize as you go through his story, he maybe was abused Physically he could have been molested. He could have been raped. He could have been Drug, you know through the concrete by his dad. He could have been left for dead He could have been through so much that when you seek to understand Then be understood as Stephen R. Covey says you're gonna be like, you know what? I can't even be mad at him because with everything he's gone through and everything that he's lived through It could have been a whole lot worse like what could I expect and I think sometimes that that's what We don't do we just think about us And then instead of thinking about the other person and why they did what they did So get that understanding But then the next thing what you have to do is you got to understand yourself and you got to understand Why you allowed it to happen You got to understand what you did wrong and then you have to accept responsibility and you got to be able to say, you know what? that's my baby daddy because I was having sex outside of marriage and That's my baby daddy because I didn't get the knowledge about healthy relationships and love so I Did not see the red flags and so once you see this and now you realize You know what? It's a lot of work that I have to do to grow as a person and get better Now you stop pointing the blame as far as What he did to me and you start saying what could I have done differently? And this is the number one thing that I had to do in my life And this is about becoming a man becoming an adult becoming a woman is accepting responsibility for your life and Even if it did not even if you could not control what happened to you accept responsibility for how you respond to it So some things happen to us and we don't have a choice But accept responsibility for how you are dealing with it and how you are responding to it And once you do that everything in your life starts to change I grew up in a place that was against me You know Klu Klux Klan came to my middle school and I'm 35 years old What am I doing seeing Klu Klux Klan? I thought that was just gonna be on a movie and so I grew up with this hate and This disdain this dislike for the opposite race and blame my life and my circumstances and Everything on the opposite race because that's what everybody around me was doing and I had to come to a place to say you know what? Unresponsible for me and can't nobody block my blessings Can't nobody stop what God has for me because God does not see skin color. God does not see gender God does not see Does not hear or accent when I talk what God has for me is for me and can't nobody block that so now I pull up on them and Living blessed and abundant and they look and they see how did you get that? How did you get where you are and you was a slave? How did you get where you are and we didn't get you education in your school system? How did you get where you are and? Mentors were not afforded to you It's because I was I accept the responsibility for my life and I stopped blaming my mom or my daddy the white man the government My exes and so when you Get to that place. That's when things gonna change Hey, if y'all post a question while I'm talking it might get lost in the shelf. I may miss it When is it appropriate to reveal that I was previously engaged due to me? Only being 25 would that be a red flag to a man make him think twice about dating me I've not been engaged for four months Engaged me really don't matter because you were not married. So engage you still was single You still was on a hope and a dream. You still was on a wish and a prayer I was engaged four times before I got married to my wife and that's because I will ask a woman to marry me a Month in the norner because that was a part of my game I'll be telling the woman I love in the first two weeks. So engage really don't matter and it don't matter to a man It's actually not even necessary if you was married. That's different, but engage Men get engaged to women just about time So you didn't get married because he knew you weren't his wife Like I say, I was engaged four times But I knew now one of them wasn't gonna be my wife, but I got engaged because it it buy you some time That's why men get engaged a lot of times today. It just buy some time just make it look real So to the next man, that's neither here nor there. He don't care about that because he's been engaged But he ain't telling nobody because he know why men do that. It don't mean a thing now if you get married, that's different I just purchased the entrepreneurship course and paid the 97 I'm really I really want to create something for myself. God knows my needs and desires now listen Norisha God bless you. God bless you You pay $97 and I'm gonna tell you that's it that course right there. You still got that at 50% off Now if I was like what some of these internet markets out here that course would be $499, but I just don't move like that in my blood. I'm growing over time But with that entrepreneurship course that you just bought listen to me With the knowledge that I put in that course has earned me millions of dollars So you just paid 97 dollars for something that has produced millions in my life And that's that's real that ain't no cap You just paid 97 dollars. So what I'm saying by this is Don't just be listening to it while you're driving Sit down and take it serious like you in a college class Sit down and take notes and go through it three times Three different ways until you truly truly understanding Comprehend write down each thing that you write Tony has a Y in his name Thank You caramel knife somebody put an eye on their eyes with a little for a woman name now but sit down and go through that and take notes and break it down and understand it and apply it because Entrepreneurship with purpose what that's talking about is using your natural gifts To build a business because see I could be selling y'all tea. I could be selling coffee But I don't know what that's gonna do to you To to your liver to your kidneys. I don't know how that's gonna affect you I could be selling you a map to put on your wall But that's not gonna change your life. So what I'm trying to do is use my natural gifts To impact the lives of others and so that's what entrepreneurship with purpose is about is using your natural gifts and Giving it purpose even if you selling something that ain't necessarily gonna change somebody's life The money that you make you taking you Change somebody life with that if that means starting a nonprofit organization to work with the youth Perfect timing on this here question. How does it pop in right here when I'm done talking? What do you do when you find yourself isolated in every way? parents both recently deceased friends scarce and the only men Approach you talking about D baby, what do I do in the meantime? First you're gonna have to get your picture Because you're in the blessed tribe So you're gonna need to add your picture to your profile to you're gonna have to get your real name Because I do not know how to pronounce Trish JK one So you got to get your real name the reason why because I want to answer questions from real people Because this right here. I don't know what kind of question this is I don't know if this old bot question is old play-play question, you know So first I need you to show up in the world and come and be seen My daddy had a saying be seen in 2019 that his saying for 2020 is plenty in 2020 So get your picture put your real name on here and then Let's go from there and after that what I want you to realize is remember this thing The lady told me this when I mentioned Eagles Eagles sore alone understand what I'm telling you I Got a friend in Jesus like I could talk to my wife But she gonna get tired of hearing about what I got to talk about So I literally have to talk to myself. I got to talk to myself. I have to talk to my spirit I have talked to God so what you got to understand is that When you feeling lonely when you feeling by yourself That's not always a bad thing Because that means you hear in a solo message You're hearing a solo message and you're hearing something that it is for you to implement And you don't have to argue and go back and forth with it with nobody And then you don't have anybody speaking something in your life. That does not apply to you How much is it to get you to ghostwriter book? I reached out to your Instagram, but maybe you didn't answer because my page is private due to my situation Um You got your name on here and your little picture on here missy Adams ghostwriting I'm not Accepting ghostwriting clients at this time in 2020. I just accepted my last ghostwriting client on December 30 or 31st. And so I still I got to finish up a book For a client and then the next client, but I will say I have other writers in my company that I work with So if you need something Then you can you know Get it ghost reading Like that, but myself personally, I'm not accepting ghostwriting clients and I was wanting to know because you put that shut up the first time you back got blocked So I'm glad you corrected that with a lol About block you. Hey now don't be slipping up like that, but Some of these questions should be private miss perfectly you saying question that I'm not even saying and then you spell my name with I Spell with a Y. God bless But we do have ghost writers ghost writing on the on the low end for a new ghost writers like 2500 and then my fee is 10,000 and up The other industry individuals they charge like 50,000 I don't recommend ghostwriting because I feel like if you could write a sentence you could write a book So what may be best for you is author? Consulting and so I can help you as an author consultant and give you the outline and walk you through it So it makes it very easy for you. So just email support at Tony gaskins.com You a lot of people could write a book and everybody should write a book But a lot of people can write and don't realize that they can they can write a book Absolutely terrified And speaking of being seen I am absolutely terrified of becoming an online entrepreneur having to reveal my identity by doing videos on Even simply having my voice online terrified of haters living life. Hey It take a long time to get haters I tell you that I Have three million supporters online and I still barely have haters it take a lot to get a hater It take a lot to get a hater take a long time to get a hater So trust me you could do a whole lot you could do a whole lot like at 50,000 Followers a hundred thousand you still really won't have haters. So don't don't get caught up in that Don't get caught up in that and then typically the haters are bots And by that time by the time you get real haters You so you'd be so blessed and abundant that you don't even get mad with them You feel bad for you you just pray for them like it don't bother you It don't bother you because you by that time you're gonna you will have learned so much Happy new year. I have a question for you. How can I improve myself? Keep doing what you're doing? Keep showing up keep learning keep growing. Oh My tars type your question again tars type your question again What would be your advice for working on yourself? Make sure that you feed in your mind that you get knowledge Stop listening to so much music as much and listen to things that's gonna move your life forward things. It's gonna push you forward. Oh Oh my gosh, you can't copy and paste type it again. Hopefully it wasn't that long Kelly. Thank you for joining How to see through men pretending to be celibate and saved in a short amount of time Being celibate six years so many fakers Jasmine, um Every man is pretending to be abstinent To be abstaining from from sex. I'm gonna fire you away. That's that's every man And so and what I mean by that is a man could actually be Committed to abstaining until marriage and until he see you dropping it like it's hot When you get ready and you drop that thing like it's hot Hidden hit that absence out the window that absence out the window. So the only way to be able to identify a Fake is to keep your legs closed Because a person playing a role will eventually Forget their act person playing a role will forget their act. So it will not be long It will not be long. I recently stopped doing makeup because of my IG followers. I know it's my passion Keep doing keep doing your makeup. Keep doing your makeup and here's the thing in the entrepreneurship with purpose course. I Saw a entrepreneur guy He got my course for $10. That's why I had to raise the prices on my courses too because it's other people who do what I do and They was going and getting my course for pennies on a dollar and then they was still in all of the content and Then charging $2,000 to share my content with their following But in there I go through a proprietary process that I created where you list your gifts and You list your passions and your gifts and your passions may not be the same thing So I can have a passion for singing But that does not mean my gift is singing So what you have to realize is you may be passionate about something that you're not actually gifted at and then you may be Gifted at something that you're not actually passionate about Because sometimes we're passionate about something that is challenging us That is a challenge to us and it may not be your gift But if you know that it is your gift as well as your passion Then you got to keep going if you know that it's just a passion But it may not be your gift Then you have to identify your gifts and become Passionate about your gifts and then your gift will make room for you And then when your gift makes room for you it'll start to produce some income for you And then you can sew into your passions and turn your passions into skills or talents so Understand that and make sure you understand the difference Let me see No, it's the little say don't forget to hit that like button everyone. Thank you. No, it's the little montage I'm looking for you question Nacocha Say you've been trying to get an answer since Sunday. I'm gonna look for you put it put it back in here See a lot of time. Hey, this is a lesson in life now y'all hold on If you get ready to post something if y'all just posting random stuff Then y'all sending the questions further than further than further up So if you're not posting a question, just hold on a second. I know you got them happy thumbs But just hold on a second. This is a life lesson right here. I want y'all to get this life lesson A lot of times when I'm doing a Q&A, I will see a person post They'll post something like what? the coach is just post Dang, I've been trying to get an answer since Sunday. I saw that But right then had you post your question? I would have saw your question But because you post your complaint. I saw your complaint That's a life lesson don't spend your time worrying and complaining and Living in doubt or frustration and I'm saying this as not as serious about a Q&A But in life a lot of times We will go into life and because something didn't happen for us We got our head down and we moping and we complaining because something went wrong But if we would have had our head up and been and through enthusiastic and still looking and In expectation of our blessing The moment you put your head down would have been the moment that you got your blessing So the point of this and the lesson of this is don't waste your time in life complaining about what you did not get and What didn't work out for you, but instead every single day be in expectation of your blessing I don't spend time moping or complaining or being down. I just every single day Blessings coming opportunity is coming. I know it's coming. It's on the way I know it's getting ready to happen. It's on the way I know money coming doors finna be open opportunity who I need about to show up in my life The very person I need getting ready to show up in my life. Lord. I need a software developer I'm talking and then guess what a software developer started following me on Twitter me and him talking in the DM right now But because I'm looking for a software developer. I notice him after out of over 330 some thousand followers on Twitter, how did I notice a random person who is of another race and Another state another demographic started following me and I read his bio and it says software developer And now we have an a conversation in the deal. Why is because I was in Expectation that when I said this is what I need. I knew that eventually it's gonna come So I'm looking so I want y'all to get that lesson and I see that all the time Now I saw a question in here I'm looking for y'all question now Nacocha. I Don't know if it's Nacocha and the cooch. No, but forgive him Jasmine ivory. That's a whole word. I posted my question 26 times and you answer a little way. I praise God Hey, I'm gonna get to it. I'm gonna see it eventually I'm 24 single mom. I had two semesters left to get my bachelor's but taking the classes Drains my spirit so much. I am getting pressed from family to go back Should I just go back or pursue my dream? Baby pee I'm in the same situation. You know, I think I needed 120 credits or something to graduate I think I got a hundred. I got 20 left and I went to college for I Went to college for I went to college for eight years so technically I got a doctorate, but I just don't have the paper for the wall But you go to college eight years. You got a doctorate and so I gave myself a doctorate. I did not get their paper. I Did not get a bachelor's. I didn't even because I was at a four-year university. I didn't even get associates But I know I got a doctorate because I went to them people school for eight years. Okay, and I'm 20 left but Ain't you know, I thought about going back, but then I asked myself What would be the point of it to prove to man that I can do it? It's not gonna change my life. It's not gonna make my life any better. It's not gonna eat I'm not gonna be able to charge you more for coaching just cuz I got a bachelor's degree because Coaching is not based on education Aliyah God bless you somebody have put a thing in here and it was a It was a super chat and I miss it. There you go. Nogala Noguzala daughter here Naglio Please forgive me if I'm pronouncing your name wrong. I'm a love I'm from Florida, but I'm trying to but I see where yet daughter here is your last name What do you do when you have been engaged for a while? It won't let me pull your question up and live together and You and your fiance are arguing about how much time he spends online working how to cope You've been engaged for a while And you live together and he is focused on being online working What do you do? What you're gonna have to do is you're gonna have to put your foot down It comes a point in time where you got to give an ultimatum Where you got to get to the place where you say look I've been in this rat race for too long It's not going anywhere. We're running in circles. I feel like I'm in a maze You're playing me like a fool. You're using and abusing me. You're taking me for granted I'm getting ready to move on with my life and you're gonna have to do that and When you get to that place, that's when you see That's when you realize where your fiance the person you with where they are in their life But understand this you have to realize that just because you engage just because you live together Don't mean you're going somewhere and a lot of times we do this and you put in the cart before the horse so what happened is is When you get engaged just like what this person just said there should have been a date following the engagement You got to be dating with a purpose So it needs to be okay. We engage. All right. The next conversation is when the wedding date The wedding date should be no more than a year out and really it need to be six months out to be honest with you you can go to the courthouse the next week and Then you could do the reception or the actual wedding when you get the money for it But you can go to the courthouse and lock it in if it's love and I remember my wife wanted to have a wedding because she had Expensive friends her friends had money and so they was gonna have big weddings and she knew it But she didn't have no money her friends and family had money her family Didn't have the money for the type of wedding. She was envisioning My family didn't have a type of money for the wedding. She was envisioning. So when I showed her what my budget can do She turned the nose up at it. She was I'm not having a wedding in there and I was like, listen, this the wedding hall that we got where I'm from is $2,500 you want to have your wedding this way. I'm gonna have to be at and My grandma got rest of soul. She was still living my grandma said baby If that if that girl love you she'll go down to that courthouse and I went to my wife and I said listen my grandma said if you love me you'll go to the courthouse and My wife looked at me crazy. She was like She wasn't feeling it, but guess what we went on to that courthouse and now we get ready to celebrate 13 years of marriage and so what I mean by that if a man love you He gonna take you He'll take you right on to that courthouse. He ain't got to wait for no fancy wedding You shouldn't be waiting on no fancy wedding if y'all in love cuz see when you just plan house That's how you get stuck playing house because it's never the right time to get married It's never the right time you just got to do it because you always gonna be arguing you always gonna be fussing So even if y'all married y'all still to be fussing about him being online too much But when you just engage that just prolonging the wedding now, let me see if I It's an ultimatum worth it if you're breaking up No, it's not if you breaking up and you know, it's a done deal You know, you have two-minute deal breakers gone about your business. Just gone about your business Friends telling you such a serious face Even when you pronounce wrong. Yeah, all them names be tripping up Y'all won't be telling no jokes on here now. I won't be telling no Joe ain't no comedian Y'all if you get your laugh, that's cuz you got a good heart. You got a good spirit. I Told this guy I love him and he said he'd always loved me as a friend. He's romantic and calls to talk Two plus hours daily, but still calls me his friend. What do I do, especially when he calls? Was this your question? Oh my gosh I don't know if that was the question, but I found I found this one I don't know if this was the one you were trying to get in but but listen to me Listen to me clearly. Listen Listen friend, I Got to go. I ain't got the time It was good talk to you friend, but I'm a little tired up Okay, all right, you you take care. We'll talk Just like that. Just I got to go. I got to go if a man talking to you two plus hours a day And he calling you just his friend He might got a boyfriend He Yeah, he got a boyfriend. That's the only that's the only way a man Because it's a heterosexual man not gonna talk to a woman two hours a day and get nothing from it He either gonna be with you like y'all is together or he trying to sleep with you But if he giving you two plus hours a day and calling you his friend, that's cuz he got a boyfriend That's what that is because He can't have a girlfriend because if he got a girlfriend and he talking to you two plus hours a day that mean he loved you but he loved you rat not like Girl flea sister girl girl flea, but he might not say it like that. He might not talk like that, but he got a boyfriend and That's the only thing I can sum it up to to be honest with you to be honest with you Because see I'm a man and I played all the games I played all the games the only way a heterosexual man talk to a woman two plus hours a day is that's his wife that's his wife or He trying to get up in a position The way she gonna feel comfortable enough to drop her guards to get on her back. That's that's it That's it point blank period. Y'all you it mean trust when I tell you Trust when I tell you but see them two hours you giving to him you could shut that down close your eyes to that and Open up for your husband. That's two hours. You could be giving your husband But a man on your phone for two hours Even if he calling you for two hours one day out the week, that's too much to be talking about we friends No, he wasting all the time somebody else need that time and so what's happening is you talking communication is what make you Fall in love and so you'll be falling in love with a man who is not available to you Are you gonna do the podcast anymore? Really enjoy? I'm trying to find a time for that podcast I'm trying to find a time, but to be honest with you Look Carmen To be honest with you It's so much social media like I got the YouTube and you got Instagram and you got Facebook you got Twitter It just so much to keep up with and I was doing the podcast but when I was doing the podcast I wasn't doing YouTube But YouTube actually is more They bigger because when you doing a podcast you on your own So you're doing your own thing So what I mean by that is you just doing a bunch of podcasts, but it's It's not monetized so you taking all of this time that you got to be feeding your family and It's all for nothing Because you could be you only reaching a certain amount of people because you own your own because they don't have a podcast outlet that Markets it for you, but with YouTube More than 50% of my video views come from people who are not subscribed to my channel So Google is so big and so powerful that it just makes more sense for me to do videos and What I say is listening to it just like you listen to it a Podcast just turn it on, you know turn it on and just let it play You know the phone could be sitting down somewhere and just listen to because what I was doing on the podcast I'm eventually gonna start doing on the video just because for me right now. It makes more sense Somebody said do you have a marketing team? I don't have any team Ebony. I don't have any team and I'll be honest with you Star Deva God bless you. I don't have any team. I got Assistant that answers the emails that come in support support at Tony guys calm And my business is all that overseen by my wife. And so that's her, you know, she'm a brand manager and But as far as a marketing team and all of that, I really don't do all that kind of stuff marketing and all of that Just because you know, it's um a Lot of people say they could do something but can't really do it and they just be stealing your money And marketing bit more than a man on the moon I paid a company to say they was doing some marketing. I'll pay them $5,000 a month Come I look up three months in and people ain't did nothing. I'll flush 15,000 dollars down the toilet Make it a radio show instead of a podcast. I think it would be better. Well I'm friends you got to own the radio outlet, you know, you can't make it a radio show You ain't got a radio network. You ain't got a radio outlet. So then people got to choose me I can't just choose them say y'all put my radio show on the air You know So either way you can't really They got to come to me give me a radio show because they own they own the outlet Otherwise this my radio show it just come with video. So that's how y'all got to look at this This my podcast right here now Video podcast on YouTube because see what YouTube does y'all notice if unless you have premium on some of the videos You may be watching the ad even if you hit skip on the ad YouTube still will give my channel credit for that So if they put ads on the video then they'll monetize it But and although it can fluctuate it's still something it still shows you that you know It's a marketplace and that they trying to honor the creators and to say look y'all helping us with our network We want to help y'all And so for the longest, you know, I just again there's seven two hundred dollars a month and For years and years and years But they working on it and they building it and so I'm focusing on me putting my energy somewhere That it's gonna make sense for my time and for my family Now one of y'all hit that lotto Then you could you could sew into the business and you we could partner you could be an investor We do all the podcasts and radio you want to do How do you persevere while using your gifts when you really don't have the passion or drive To do what your gift requires the loyal Maverick You don't have the passion or the drive to do what your gift requires Well, what you have to do is you got to connect it to purpose So if your gift if you have a gift, but you haven't given your gift purpose Then you won't have the passion or the drive on the first day of the year. I Don't necessarily I wouldn't necessarily want to be on here talking for two hours But I'm doing this because I connected my gift To purpose so I realized okay, Tony your gift has a purpose of helping people Come out of the mess that they in Helping give people the confidence the motivation and the strength they need to come out of the situation that they're in So I gave it purpose and that's what gives me the strength to get on here on the first day of the year and Talk for two three hours. So you got to give your gift purpose. Who is it for? Who is it gonna benefit? How is it gonna make the world a better place? Whose life is it gonna touch? nah Nalula Nalula It's my name. God bless you. That's a beautiful name Nalula, okay, so the g a Silent God bless you mother land. That's a motherland name. No He wants a courthouse marriage and says we can go anytime and I want a beautiful wedding. I guess That's my husband. Mm-hmm. He won't courthouse marriage That's what you need to do go to the courthouse and that's right there What hinders a lot of women y'all have your blessing right in hand and you'll flush your blessing down the toilet Kara J. God bless you. Thank you so much You'll flush your blessing down the toilet because of your preferences See a wedding is has nothing to do with a marriage a wedding has nothing to do wedding Just have you upside down because you you're not getting the wedding for free so That wedding the money you spent on the wedding could be a down payment on a house The money you spent on a wedding could be put on the market Buying stocks or going into your IRA. That's that's gonna grow That you can you put $10,000 $20,000 $30,000 $50,000 whatever you spent on the wedding put that in in your retirement fund that that same $50,000 might be $300,000 when you 65 But you do a wedding you the maxed out credit card you didn't spend all this stuff and and all All you may have to show for a wedding is a divorce in five years so People really need to get past all of that and start planning a marriage and still the planning a wedding and Because I thank God I'm going on 13 years of marriage. So one day I'm gonna have a big beautiful wedding when I get the money for it right now I I don't have the money to flush down the toilet And that's what a wedding is because that's just a ceremony don't mean that they got nothing to do with love They got nothing to do with love It's just like the holidays that they just want you to buy all these gifts They don't have nothing to do with the reason they try to tell you it's about and And so that's what a wedding is I much rather have love than have a wedding Have love and have a marriage then have a wedding You need to be at that courthouse tomorrow It mean Rhonda, it's not like you working. I don't know who you talking to you must be talking to somebody else Because if this ain't work you ain't never been on this side of these lights. So you must be talking to somebody else grown boys Intimate with a woman several times And develop a soul tie. Does he lose himself emotionally experience pain? Or does his ego dominate all feelings? Um He develops a soul tie for sure But like you say his ego Does dominate his feelings he doesn't lose himself emotionally most times because When he starts to feel weak he goes and he gives himself to somebody else So a lot of times men are not doing The healing Instead men are going to another woman to as a band-aid on that wound Instead of giving that one time to heal. Sierra. God bless you for joining So understand that see a woman When a woman lies down with a man in a lot of cases in most cases a woman Lying down to sleep with a man means something She's trying to send a message to him to say I'm giving you my body because I want you to give me a commitment in return And women don't understand that that what that act means to a woman It does not necessarily mean the same to a man So a man will take that from you And want nothing more from you than your body And so that's why you got to Take your body off the table You got to stay off your back and you got to keep your eyes open and your ears open And pay attention and then get you a ring and get you a commitment And then You can get on your back Because now you have what you want out the deal Which is a commitment and what he won't out the deal is some love making And then after he get the love making then he starts to fall in love But that's that right there. That's too that's too deep That's that's too deep in a man mind for y'all to understand as women because it don't make any sense It does not make sense. I totally understand it does not make sense, but Men and women do not make sense to each other What are your thoughts on a partner who wants a pre-nuptial agreement? Do you think that's a deal breaker? I don't think it should be no, it's not a deal breaker. It's not a deal breaker. It's just a pre-nump, but You know and it's to each their own I mean does he have something to Protect if he now if he broke won the pre-nump Then he's doing the most he tripping But if he has millions Then a pre-nump may make sense But if he's not a millionaire, then He ain't got nothing to protect and so Me personally I Would not do pre-nump I wouldn't ask my woman for a pre-nump because If I Don't believe that we're going to be until death do us part and I wouldn't be marrying you in the first place So to me a pre-nump is a plan to fail And I don't believe in plan b's plan a got to work plan a is the only plan If you got a a fail safe, then You probably gonna fail When it comes to that so I don't believe in them Bless be can you please scroll up to my question? Let me see if I can now see right there bless be you could have typed your question again somebody say Just be a member just became a member song eight six Sister love god bless you. Thank you for joining as a member If y'all notice the members are the only ones who can write in here and I do that and y'all see how many messages coming So imagine if everybody if this chat was open for everybody it'd be way too much for me So I just make this to where only members Can comment and it's still it's hard to keep up If our question are not answered here, is there a way to get a question answered by email? um Miss adam ask your question again because I saw your name What you asked you asked something That was what you asked you asked something about Not wanting to be public Well, I think you said something about not because you're paid private because of your situation Ask your question again What if a ring is an issue? What do you feel about symbols like tattoos or cheap rings or is that just an excuse for him to delay It's an excuse, but it's it's only excuse if you allow it to be And you know, I need to be able to get a ring. I need to be able to get a ring And then you just like well, okay. I get it. I understand Then that's on you too But if you sit him down and say listen to me listen to me A ring means nothing if you don't have love So for me, I could not care less about a ring I that's just a thing what I'm worried about is do we have love? I wear a rubber band on my finger I will wear a rubber band my wife married me Her ring cost $69 Because I did not have any money It cost $69 It cost $69 And it was off of qvc Or hsn The home shopping network. It was a three-carat Fake ring three-carat cubits arconia With some fake gold That turn your finger green And she wore that thing like it was a real three-carat $150,000 ring and then after that I got a $2,500 ring about five-year mark Then after that I got a $3,500 ring then a $5,500 ring And and I ain't went past that and I wear this right here. There's $200 ring $200 ring I've been wearing since we got married 13 years. I hadn't had this ring cause $180 I think So it's not about those things and those little symbols They got cheap ring both of y'all can get y'all one of these $200 It's not about that. It's about do you have love? What are your thoughts on a partner who wants a prenup? I saw that question. I'm looking for bless be question because bless be She gave me a hard time last time by the question My ex-sister-in-law was paying off her wedding ring for five years and was divorced after 11 years My friend spent over 10,000 on the wedding. I was in it and they not even together I want my money back for buying that dress I fear you I'm trying to tell y'all Bless be I can't find your question So y'all just need to post it, you know Over and over because I can't I can't find it When building a brand a blog business, would you recommend using your real name or a brand name? Use your real name Use your real name because you want to brand you if you build in a brand so Because you use a brand name You know that People hear that name. They don't know a face. They don't know who that is They're just a name and so you build that brand name Then when you try to come out and show your face people like, uh, I don't know you, you know I've seen people do that. They hear behind a brand name built to 500 000 twitter followers Then come out and people like, oh, I ain't know you were white But they come out. Oh, I ain't know you was black Oh, I ain't know you was a woman or I ain't know you was a man And now they got to readjust and get all the way used to you all over again So build with your name Be blessed. I see you miss the gas and I'm over 30 but appear younger So young boys approach me mostly and older ones always say they They didn't because they thought I was a young student how to appeal to me and my age Um, that's a blessing that's a blessing And you really can't appeal to me in your age. It's only so much you can do You may have to sign up for coaching You may have to talk with a either date coach or do coaching With myself and get real time feedback. You don't even have a picture up. So I can't really Speak to that Of what you need to do, but you're probably gonna have to get some outside feedback It may be changing your hairstyle. It may be changing the way you dress But to look younger than you are that's a blessing. It just means not your season yet Okay. Hey, thank you Friends for doing that posting her question When you said boyfriends Get in the way of husbands I stopped believing in boyfriends Planned to only be friends single until marriage. Is that wrong? Yes, that is wrong because You still have to be you still got to have a boyfriend before you get married Because you still got to make a he has to make a commitment to let you know he's with you So it's not about the title. What it's about is the timeline So have a boyfriend, but don't have a boyfriend for centuries and ages and decades Like what a lot of people do so have a boyfriend, but it got to be on a timeline So when you come to the place where okay, y'all been together 12 months and y'all talking every day y'all dealing y'all serious y'all exclusive Now it's time for him to say Um, will you marry me? And then when he says will you marry me and you say yes, okay? That happened in december the wedding need to be in june And at the latest the next december and and that's what uh That's what you got to do And so have a boyfriend because if you say you single then that's not going to turn into marriage either If you talking to a guy you messing with the guy y'all dealing together And it ain't gonna show up When I see let me see what this is Boyfriend and engagement equals marriage. Can you start a match? Can you start matchmaking again for february or maybe? No I don't do the matchmaking anymore for one. It's just it's real time consuming And so you got to charge a pretty penny, you know the matchmakers Today like you know Millionaire matchmaker they charge like 75 thousand dollars And so for for the time that it takes vetting people Scanning people scoping people a lot interviewing people talking to people It just it's so time consuming that it makes it unaffordable It'll be different if if it's a if it was a matchmaker that that's what they do and they You know, they don't have like a brand. It's just they just matchmaking. So their time is less expensive Less costly because that's the only thing that they're doing then They can make it affordable But you know once you build your brand like millionaire matchmaker on tv They got to charge 75 thousand 100 thousand for matchmaking just because The time it takes it becomes too time consuming and then it's liability with it too because A person can play a role you get matched to them that they know They try to chop you up and put you in somebody freezer. And so I just kind of Chill I'll make a suggestion. I may make a little connection here and there but nothing serious He said he can't trust me and we need to slow down. He said i'm too private and move in silence He apologized the same day, but I hadn't talked to him since Nikosha, um He said he can't trust you and y'all need to slow down. You got to keep it moving You got to keep it moving When a man tells you that that he can't trust you and y'all need to slow down You got to go on about your business Because a man who is for you a man who wants you he ain't trying to slow nothing down He ain't trying to pump no brakes He's not telling you he can't trust you and if a man says he cannot trust you It's a wrap it's over the relationship over because it's hard for a man to trust anyways It's hard for a man to trust so if a man says he cannot trust you It's a wrap you got that you got to keep it moving And but see the thing is a man will tell you we need to slow down and he'll tell you he can't trust you And he'll tell you all this but then he won't want to let you go And that's when you know he bought the game. That's when you know, he's looking around He's playing the field and if he finds somebody that he likes he'll drop you like a bad habit And he'll go with that person and all your time will be wasted So when you hear those key words those red flag words those deal breaking words You got to say, okay, you can't trust if there is no trust. There is no relationship Especially if a man say that After Atlanta should I start another youtube channel with my real name? I have a channel now not under my name though. If I change that channel Name will it be an issue with existing followers? Um, no, it won't be an issue people know you change people know you grow It won't be an issue. She's talking about Atlanta because Just some ideas. Thank you for being a member. She coming to the life coach certification in Atlanta on january 11, man, that's close. That's 10 days away So and we'll talk about all that there. We're going to talk about social media And it's an a to z course and you'll have time to ask questions there So we don't we don't want to we ain't got to take up that time here And it's a small group because again, it's $500 for the training This same training that's not even this extensive people charging $5,000 $6,000 for um, I charge 500 just because That's just the way I do things. I don't I don't like making things Crazy expensive to where you know, you kicking yourself and you mad Because you had to tap into your 401k I wanted to be somewhat of a sacrifice, but not something that's going to have you in the poor house And then I wanted to be something to where when you invest that you get five clients Now you the major money back and then you profitable from then on With so many people on social media with similar content. How did you set yourself apart? I wanted to do a blog But started comparing myself to others and god was like serve me Or serve people Yikes, that's all I'm doing is I'm serving god, you know, I'm doing what He put on my heart what he told me to do And when you doing what god told you to do then there is no competition. There is nobody that's gonna Come in I got to unplug my mic now. So y'all it might go a little loud because my phone died But there is no competition. There is nobody Who can replace you And so When you doing what god told you to do, he's going to favor you favor what you're doing and he's going to take him Set you up and set you apart and bless you and and the people that you are for Those people gonna know you Because real recognize real so the people who support me They'll recognize the difference between me and other people And everything we do and how we price our services how we price our courses how we give of our time They may be able to say look January 1st Tony was on youtube for two hours This other life coach this other life coach this other author that say they're here to help people I ain't see them know where to be found You know, they don't do a lot for more than 30 minutes more than an hour You know, so people see You being obedient and the people that's meant to appreciate that they'll appreciate that the people who They are scam artists And they're doing it for the wrong reason. They don't think you're a scam artist, but that's not your audience anyway So you just got to do you and Realize there's no competition CJ God bless your brother Always stare at me, but never approaches me. Is this to manipulate me? Do men do this to get inside your head? So you're always thinking about them Yes, that is what men do it's kind of like you know trying to Intimidate you trying to turn your own trying to send a message Just undressing you with his eyes It really just mind games just playing with you just setting you up just breaking you down And then eventually one day he's gonna get tired of staring at you and he's gonna approach you But if a man always staring at you but not approaching that mean he take I mean he's taking it in eventually when he can't take it anymore. He's gonna approach you, but when he approach you It's gonna be a cheat on the woman he will Unless he tells you and he shows you that he is he's single And I saw it but I didn't get to read it right then because I was answering the question So forgive me Question I'm almost 30 and I'm ready to get married. How do I get a man to see me as a wife instead of just a friend? Miss Lavender, um Put your picture on here Because your husband could be on here CJ CJ might be CJ in the group, you know a man in the group Who else in the group you listen to the group? Um, cold rob in the group, you know, your husband could be right here in the blessed tribe, but you ain't got no picture So he came see if you look like yes, or if you look like no Or if you look like what god showed him So that's the first thing you could do Is show up in the world for all of y'all that's single and you ready to show up in the world in every area That you can show up show up show up on instagram show up on youtube Show up at the gym show up at the grocery store show up at the gas station show up And so you got to be what I mean by this you have to be intentional and you got to be in expectation of your blessing and so Your energy and your mindset When you say that that's what it's going to be. It's going to be um It's going to a man will feel you he's going to feel that you are Ready that you are serious by the way you dress because when you're telling yourself your wife ready You're going to dress different. You're going to walk different. You're going to talk different. So it's going to be different Black spies your sound has static. Yeah, it got static. Honestly. I feel like my phone's out But when I had to unplug the microphone because the phone's got 10 battery And I'm trying to do two hours tonight And you see I'm still missing questions. So if I miss your question post your question again Hello, Tony could you post your cash out share? God bless you. God bless you. That's one of my my og shares my uh my cyber security And sharing that's a real person now that is not don't y'all think that's me alias or What you call that or somebody like, you know, my sister or something she's a social media sister But share is a real person and I I'm gonna be devastated the day that I offend And make share mad where she quit on my quit on my videos and quit on me Because uh, she's been so supportive so supportive she'll be supporting me And now and I ain't gonna block your blessing on that cash out But everything on my all my social media everything is tony gas For some reason it's other tony gas him But I was the first one to get the dot com to get the instagram to get the facebook to get the youtube So my cash out is that money sign and tony gas And it's it was two people one lady sent me five dollars and 25 cent and I think that was a scripture And another lady sent me I think 20 dollars or 25 all the last week And it just blessed me it blessed me to have supporters You know the hell people that Is being a blessing and when I just say a prayer I just say a prayer and just pray a bonus of blessings Old folks and for all of you who Showed up and blessed me tonight to leash your lord. Thank you. Thank you so much for your blessing Thank you to the new members Terry Simmons Evelyn Reeves my blessing Okay, share. I see. Oh, okay. I see. Oh, okay. I see. Thank you. God bless you God bless you just a shit. I don't want me getting half of the blessing I have for you Just for you and the fam on God bless you. You're right because cash out. They don't take any other Other blessing but on youtube. Yeah, they don't get there Yeah, yeah Why don't this guy compliment me on IG every now and then yet never ask if I'm single or take me out I'm gonna tell y'all something And I'm gonna get going here in 10 minutes. I told him I'm gonna do two hours at the time just on the 10 o'clock I'm tell y'all something Just like that right that question right there A lot of stuff that men do will not make any sense to a woman Just like a lot of stuff that women do does not make any sense to a man So you cannot try to understand everything Some things the person just does it because of where they are in their life and it means absolutely nothing But let me help you understand this right here I want to God compliments you What you what you have to realize and I want everybody to understand this Is that the largest sexual organ? Is the brain It's not what's in your pains So love making is actually in the mind. It's mental You notice how you could lie down with somebody And be done have a release in 60 seconds You could lie down with somebody and go 45 minutes and don't have a release It's because it's mental Love making is in the mind. So what happened is is with A man Is what happened is is with a man A man a lot of times will talk to you I'm gonna put the mic back in If my phone cut off I had to take my charge out because y'all say y'all can't hear me Can you hear me now? Put yes, I can hear you if you can hear me the phone too far away. Can you hear me? But I can't put a earpiece in I could put a earpiece in if I had my my little AirPods I had to plug my mic back in I had to plug my my phone in the charger because it had 10 percent But what you have to understand about a man and I'm gonna talk to y'all and then I'm gonna get on off of y'all because Is A man will talk to you because He gets a release He gets a release. I've been live 112 minutes um Jesse j A man gets a release when he talks to you so when you take and He he could bump into you He can say hey to you. He can tell you in the dm You look good And to be honest with you mentally that feels just like a release a sexual release for him And so because that happens in the mind and that's why men flirt That's why a man staring you down in the eyes could feel like a sexual release A man giving you a compliment can feel like a sexual release. See a lot of people don't talk about this and people won't um people won't Explain this and people won't be honest about this, but that's why I don't really deal with um energy I don't really deal with and I tell my wife I tell my wife about me and I help her understand the mindset of me Because she could be at a soccer game and She could be at a soccer game and she can be Talking to a man And just be talking talking talking talking talking talking talking they talking about soccer For her as a woman, it could be completely innocent For him as a man, it could be his first time sleeping with a black woman In his mind, he could be sleeping with a black woman while he having that conversation and And and he could go home later that night and pleasure himself Offer the picture he has in his head Of my wife because that's how men experience Sex because it is a It's mental It's a feeling it don't have to be the actual act It could be just brushing up against your shoulder. It could be just having a conversation with you That's why I tell people all the time that love making is not the physical act Love making is the conversation Love making is the communication So that's why that man writing you in the dm because he getting off on that he get a little feeling off of that He get a little feel good off of that but he don't want to go no further because as far as asking you out on a date because He has a woman He got a situation ship or he could have a whole woman could have a whole relationship Hates on is it possible to have a soul type with someone that you've never had sexual relationship with? What you have to realize about a soul type is that In in In one sense of the word a soul ties like a physical connection It's like you've lied down with this person You lied down with this person and you You gave your body to them so you are spiritually Tied you're spiritually tied together for life because you gave them your body When you don't give them your body Then You're not spiritually tied for life like you can break that because you didn't give them your body And so what that means is you could have an emotional connection to them Your brain could have an emotional response To the chemistry that y'all built, but that's not necessarily the same as a soul type But a soul tie is technically just An emotional bond that's cemented by physical intercourse And so outside of that if you remove that from it, then it's an emotional tie Not the same as a soul tie So it's a it can be strong But not as damaging because you didn't give them your body So you may think about them you may feel them you may You know Remember them you may have all the same feelings it the fruit could be similar But the root is different. And so when you we're not intimate, it's not as damaging It's not as strong long term unless you make it that way by continuously thinking about them and fantasizing about them Whereas with a real with a physical soul tie You can stop thinking about a person and stop, you know fantasizing about it But the tie is still there because you actually gave them your body Let me see if I got there Hey, Tony, how can a woman be a boss? Literally in a male dominated field but still remain approachable um, a woman is always approachable if Her spirit is pure So if you're not operating from ego if you're not operating from arrogance if you're not operating from bitterness or frustration Then you're approachable When you start to operate from another place that's not self rooted in self love That's when you're not approachable. So if you are a boss, let's say you the VP you the president you the ceo You the top dog you the big earner But you are arrogant because of your title Then you can be unapproachable If you rude if you're condescending if if you're being nasty Then you're unapproachable, but if you still pure heart you still humble you still kind then you're approachable And so that's what you got to understand. So the true Caucasian man at my job So true the Caucasian man at my job. Okay, then you talk about With a black woman. Hey Tony. Yeah, I saw that one I'm looking for a question. I'm getting ready to go on Get on off of here now come a phone and be the dial on y'all What you think about dating a young guy? He got to have a old soul He got to be very very mature if he young and he and he act young Then keep it moving Because you're already more mature than he is even if you younger than him You may be more mature than him. So if he young and he act young keep it moving Did did I get the terror Tony miss g question in the process of healing from several failed relationships What are the best ways to build confidence and self-esteem? new knowledge new knowledge so When you start to when you read the books when you take the courses when you own the lies when you own the sessions You're getting new knowledge and when you get that new knowledge, what time is it? It's 11 o'clock Oh, I was on central time. So I'm always saying 10 telling me lies it's 11 o'clock so When you get the new knowledge, it's going to build your confidence because now you know What you did not know Now you understand what you did not understand And so that's what you have to do get as much knowledge as you can And the good thing about like with youtube you can come and you can watch a video And when you watch the video You take it and and you able to watch a video and you able to make a playlist and you can watch 10 11 12 videos in a day And get all the knowledge that you need and that's what's going to happen because as you learn more You're going to put stuff where it goes Hey, thank y'all so much Let me uh, let me wrap up here I want to hide the chat real quick from me. It might show on y'all's side Let me hide the chat so I could focus for a minute. Hey, thank y'all so much everybody That's a member. Thank you so much for being a member of the channel If you want to join the channel as a member the link is in the description Please don't take this as cliche don't take this as Something that's just said to be said Make sure that you make 2020 a new year and a better year By changing your mindset change the way that you view yourself Start really speaking your dreams into existence and taking action on them Start naming and claiming and believing what you want And when you say that you want it when you say that you want it to happen for you You want it to come in your life whether it's love whether it's a business whether it's a new career You got to speak it and you have to believe it and by believing it mean that you have to be in Expectation of it every single day. You got to think about it every day all day You got to have pure energy. You got to have a smile on your face Your head has to be up your eyes have to be open. Your head need to be on a swivel because you are in Expectation of what you say you want and then make sure you are doing the work So don't just let it come out your mouth and say, oh, I won't love or oh I want to start my own business or or I want to be my own boss You got to make sure that you do the work So when what I mean by doing the work is sit down literally and Write out your plan write out your plan so that you can Put the steps in order and then every day take a step towards your ultimate goal Literally take a step no matter how small it is If it's just going and buying your domain for your website just your name.com They cost 11.99 11 dollars and 99 cents If it's getting a coaching session if it's reading a book the book may be 10 dollars Maybe 25 dollars, but take that one step and every day keep taking steps And what you're going to realize is that you're going to start to create the life that you want So don't just talk about it be about it. Keep pressing keep going and thank y'all so much for being on here I'm gonna keep my videos going This year so My family's still up. We we on break. I see my son just getting out to shower and then running around being loud I Tried to get to the questions But I did not Get all of them. I'm trying to see Everything yes, you can replay the live stream When I'm done it a process, but then it'll show up and you can replay it You can fast forward through it get the way you need to get And I'm gonna try if I get home in time Sunday We'll do a Q&A I did something tonight But I really appreciate y'all god bless you and we'll talk soon. I went five minutes over tonight But we'll talk and I post sunday if i'm not gonna be able to make it And I may make up for it next week But I told y'all for being a member of the channel. I'm gonna try to do a Q&A every week So try to honor my word God bless you. We'll talk soon