The kids want to peep, too excited to sleep listening for sleigh bells, hear drunks in the street Mistletoe is hung, Christmas has begun Gran found the sherry and wants to have fun
When suddenly outside it all springs to life Santa got there early on his pimped up ride he said: "I’m here on my bike, the reindeer's are on strike I’ve got this brand new engine It’s been modified"
There were fairy lights on everybody's bikes when Santa rocked up on his Harley It was party time, Rudolph's left behind We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a very merry Christmas time
Dad cooked the dinner, a total beginner everyone's waiting for the main event Spuds could knock you out force fed brussels sprouts The gravy’s set there like cement and granddad’s flatulent
News flash on TV: there’s been a tragedy Santa’s been drunk driving, he’s in custody He said: "I’d had one too many I had to spend a penny, next thing I’m being arrested for house burglary"
Santa had collided, the Harley’s been up sided No one gets their presents in the USA The reindeers ever ready, dependable and steady No one knows what Rudolph’s on the speed of light The sleigh is gone He's the one who'll come along and rescue Christmas day