 The Harold Perry Show! Yeah, this is a big day, too. Well, let's look in on the little town of Melrose Springs. There's just been a change in the honest Harold household. Harold's cousin Raymond, who's been occupying the back bedroom for the last few months, has just left to take a job in the neighboring town of Charlieville. Right now we find Harold and his mother talking it over at luncheon. Doesn't seem kind of funny not having cousin Raymond around the house. And I'm going to miss hearing him play his saxophone. Well, yes. Sounds like he has a wonderful job. Playing in the orchestra at Charlieville Ritz Carlton. And they all wear tuxedos. Yeah, comes in handy when they wait on tables. Yeah, only kidding, mother. Well, I guess we can settle back to normal again now. Just the two of us. We can sit in the parlor at night, play part cheesy. Or maybe we can have a little musical evening. You know, Harold, you haven't sung for me in a long time. I haven't, mother. I'll fix that right now. I'll bet you've forgotten my favorite. I'll bet you a sugar cookie I haven't. Listen. One bright and guiding light That taught me wrong from right I found in my mother's eyes Remember, mother? Those baby tails that rolled all paved with gold I found in my mother's eyes A bright and narrow territory My gold sent from above Why, mother, you're fogging up your glass. I wonder who that is. Excuse me, mother. Howdy, Harold. How's the town, Marshall, this morning? Got a telegram for you, boy. What? I was in the telegraph office when it came in this morning at 9 a.m. I told him I'd rush it right out to you. 9 a.m.? Well, I was on my way here to deliver it when... I run into McGurl, Eloise Eigenfest. See you later, Harold. Pete, you didn't give me the telegram. That's a doozy. There you go, boy. Thank you very much. I wrote my shopping list on the back of your envelope. Would you mind reading it off to me? Oh, for heaven's sake. One pound of tomatoes. One pound of tomatoes. Let me write that down. One large corn plaster. One large corn plaster. Let me write that down. One sapolio. That's what you are. That's what I am. Let me write that down. That's all, Pete. And give my regards to Eloise. I'll do that, Harold. Oh, Eloise. I wonder who this telegram is from. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. What is it, Harold? It's a telegram from Cousin Natalie in Chicago. She says, arriving Melrose Springs for overnight visit. Oh, she must be on another buying trip for the department store. That's not all, she says, mother. I'm bringing Marvin with me. Who's Marvin? Oh, he's a little boy, a distant relative of ours. Cousin Natalie's been taking care of him ever since his mother died. Oh, I see. This says she's driving, and they'll be here around two o'clock this afternoon. Oh, mine is after one. I hope I can get the house straightened out before they get here. Yes, Gloria, old day, I'd shorten her party dress. And I'll have to make some hot chocolate. I'll take it easy, mother. Oh, Harold, we're out of cookies. Will you run out and get a dozen macaroons? Sure, mother. And while I'm out, I might pick up a little toy for Marvin. That'll be nice. And, oh, Harold, please don't eat too many macaroons on the way home. Why, mother? Well, maybe I'd better get two dozen. I'm back, mother. Gloria, in her party dress. Got the macaroons, mother, and I only ate, wow. Is that you, Gloria? Oh, why? Oh, doesn't she look lovely, Harold? Well, sort of grown up. That dress looks like it was designed with an ulterior motive. Oh, Harold! Quit giggling her, it'll fall off, Gloria. Would you mind telling me where you're going undressed up like that? I'm going to Raymond's opening at the Charlieville Ritz-Carlton. Now that he has a steady job, we're sort of planning on getting engaged. Well, but don't you two rush into marriage? Oh, do you believe in long engagements? You bet. A longer man is engaged the less time he has to be married. Harold is just joking, Gloria. That's what you think, mother. Can you get a little toy for Marvin? Oh, yes, oh, yes, look at this. You see this little box all painted in circus colors? Now watch, girls, while I turn this crank. Oh, isn't it? Now watch. Yeah, you see that, mother? The clown pops right out of the box. Well, isn't that clever? Yeah, that little Marvin will be crazy. Oh, my goodness, there they are. You let them in, Harold. Yeah, all right, mother, stick around, Gloria. Oh, no, I'll eat by the kitchen door. I want to run home and show mother my dress. Yeah, okay, see you later. Better straighten my dress, my tie. Brush the macaroon crumbs off my vest. There. Well, cousin Natalie. Hello, Harold. It's nice to see you again. It's nice to see you. And this is Marvin. Well, hello, Marvin. How do you do, sir? Say, that's a spiffy little soldier suit you're wearing. Marvin has been going to military academy. Oh, thought you were a little young for the draft. Come in, huh? Thank you. Well, hello, Natalie. Hello, Aunt Emily. It's wonderful to see you. And this is little Marvin, mother. Oh, hello, Marvin. Good afternoon, ma'am. Marvin's wearing that uniform because he goes to a military school. It's an academy, sir. Oh, yes, that's right. Well, little soldier, I suppose you're on your vacation now. At the academy, we call it leave, sir. Oh, well, just so you're not AWOL. Well, Natalie, why don't you come into my room and take off your coat, and then we'll have some hot cocoa. All right. And we'll let Marvin and Harold get acquainted. Yeah, yeah. Oh, thanks. Eddie's, Marvin. Thank you, sir. Certainly sit up straight. Oh, boy, it's a little present, Marvin, but I didn't realize you were quite so grown up. I'm 10, sir. 10? Oh, well, you like it. S-D. Well, here it is. What is that, sir? Well, it's a sort of a jack-in-the-box. Oh. Here, listen to this. You see the little clown jump up? Pretty clever, isn't it? Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Wait, would you like to have it? Well, you seem to enjoy it, sir. Why don't you keep it? What did you say? Uh... My but you're a juvenile, sir. Juvenile? Now look here, Marvin. Well, you two seem to be having a wonderful time. Oh, yes, Natalie. Marvin's a fine little fellow. He. Well, look at the cute little jack-in-the-box. Is there a child in the house? There sure is. Marvin. Oh, we'll come along, Marvin. Are you going to have some hot cocoa, sir? Smart Alec, I hope he burns his tongue. I like children, but that Marvin's really hard to take. Certainly had his nerve after dinner, saying it was my time to do KP. Thank goodness Natalie put him to bed before she and mother went visiting. Well, I don't hear him in there. Maybe he's asleep. Sleep tight, General. He gods Marvin brought his bugle with him. Marvin! Cut that out! Marvin! You call me, sir? Young man, is it necessary to blow that bugle? You should be asleep. I'm not very sleepy, sir. Well, don't all you little soldiers go to sleep early at the academy? Yes, sir. I was always tired before. After drilling and marching all day. Oh, I see. Maybe if you and I did a little military drill. What? Well, I just thought it might make me sleepy. And then I'd go right to bed. Right to bed? Well, all right, Marvin. Just for a few minutes, though, till you get sleepy. How do we go about this military drill? Well, I'm the sergeant and you're the private. Fall in! Oh, yes, a better humor. You're a fine-looking soldier. Well, thank you. Look at your posture. Where is it? Oh! Stand up straight. Yes, sir. Chin up. Yes, sir. Pull in your stomach. Pull it in some more. Now I'm hanging out in back. Hey, I'm doing fine. Darn that wall. I said left. Yeah, my mistake. You getting sleepy, Marvin? No talking in the ranks. Forward, harsh! Oh, my goodness. Why couldn't you have gone to art school? Fall out! Thank goodness. Fall in! Oh, she's makeup is mine. Forward! Guess you're getting pretty sleepy now, huh? No, I'm wide awake. Zoink! You've just begun to march, soldier. You're in the army now. Hmm. Wonder where I go to enlist in the Navy. Coffee, quick. My, you look sleepy this morning. Oh, I am, mother. I took a ten mile hike in the living room last night. Oh. Yeah, and this morning Marvin woke me up at six o'clock, blowing that bugle. Oh, yes, I heard it. Ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta... Mother, brother, mother, please, please, mother. What time is cousin Natalie driving back? Right away, son. I better fix you some eggs, Harold. Thank you, mother. Hmm. Well, at least I'll be able to get some sleep tonight. One more day of Sergeant Marvin, and I'd look like Frank Sinatra on Kinescope. Good morning, Harold. Good morning, Natalie. Harold, I wonder if I could talk to you for a moment. Oh, yes, of course. Well, you know my store is sending me to Paris on a buying trip. Oh, yes. Well, and as you know, Marvin's been going to a military academy in Chicago. Oh, yes. I suppose you can't wait to get back, put on his patees and polish his military brushes. Well, I intend to be gone for three months. And I'd rather not leave him at the academy alone. So I was wondering, well, could Marvin stay here with you? Are you all right, Harold? Oh, yes. Smaller and more coffee the wrong way. Wait a minute. You want Marvin to stay here three months? Yes. Your mother said she'd be happy to have him if it was all right with you. Well, sure, Natalie. It's all right with mother. I guess it's all right with me, but... Thank you, Harold. But... Guys, it should have turned her down. I wonder how it's going to be having Marvin around here for three months. Oh, well, there's my answer. Here. We'll return for the second act of our story on this, Harold, in just a moment. On CBS Tonight, Judy Garland will again visit the Bing Crosby show and the CBS Wednesday Night Fight program, the Chuck Hunter, Jimmy Bowe, Middleweight Scrap in New York. We'll be coming your way over most of these same CBS stations. And be sure to listen for an important guest at the end of our show. And now back to Harold Perry as Honest Harold the Homemaker. Well, Honest Harold has a new problem on his hands. Little 10-year-old Marvin, who is fresh from military academy. Yeah, he's fresh, all right. He's agreed to take care of Marvin for three months, and he isn't very happy over the prospect. Right now, we find our unwilling guest, right now, we find our unwilling bachelor father on his way home from the radio station. Well, I guess I better go home to lunch, see what Marvin is up to now. I know one thing. That little general and I are going to have a talk. He's going to listen to me, or I'll... I'll... Well, I'll bend his bugle. Hello, Harold. Oh, hello, Floravel. Congratulations, Harold. Why? I understand you've just become a father. Eww. Oh, I bet you're thrilled having this little boy around the house. Blessings on the little man, barefoot boy with cheeks of time. Yeah, this boy isn't barefoot. He wears army shoes. I'd like to tan his... well... Well, I suppose he'll be going to school here. What's his grade? Sergeant. Oh! Oh, great. I think it's awful nice of you, Harold, taking this little boy in. Well... You sweet old kind old lovable old thing. I'm taking care of that little boy all by yourself. No woman to help you. Well, his mother? Yes, but she's got her own work to do. I mean someone who'd be there when you need them. Someone who could wash the little fella's socks and handkerchiefs and t-shirts. Oh, I get it. You mean the laundromat. No, silly. I mean someone who would be by your side for better or for worse forever and ever. Harold, don't you understand? What's that behind you, Floravel? What? See you later, Floravel. Look how fast on my feet must have been that drilling. Floravel's a wonderful girl, but I've got enough trouble. Hello, Harold! Hello, Doc. Oh, I just think it's a fine thing you're doing, Harold, taking in that little boy. Yeah, well, I think he's taking me in, Doc. In fact, I'm going home now and have a little talk with that cadet right now. If he wants to get along with me, he's going to have to change his ways. Harold, you don't know very much about children. What? Well, the boy that aged needs a lot of understanding. Instead of trying to change him right away, why don't you show him you're interested in the things he likes? Listen, I'm too old for basic training, Doc. Well, now, Harold, there must be something you and little Marvin could do together. He sounds like an outdoor boy. Well, why don't you take him out in the woods some afternoon? You mean and lose him? Now, Harold, no, I mean have a little picnic. A picnic? Well, I don't know. I guess you could go out by Bear Lake and roast greeners and just have a wonderful time. Well, it might not be a bad idea, Doc. Sure, I bet you get to be real pals. Pals, huh? Certainly worth a try. Yes, Sue, you might have something there. Thanks a lot, Doc. Not at all, Harold. I'll take Marvin out this afternoon. I'll shop for the food right now. Get some hot dogs, mustard, marshmallows, pickles, and soda pop. Let's see, have I forgotten anything? Yes, by carbonate soda. Yes, let me write that down. See you later, Doc. What's gone down town, sir? Oh, Marvin, how would you like to go on a camping trip? Just the two of us. You want to take me on a camping trip? Sure, I love the outdoor life. I'm an old woodsman, you know. They used to call me Woody Himp. Oh, is that so? Yeah, the swell spot right near Bear Lake. Real wild out there. Three miles to the closest billboard. Gosh, it sounds wonderful, Harold. He called me Harold. This is the way to handle boys, all right. Yes, sir, we'll really rough it, Marvin. We'll drive all the way out there right now. Sit on pillows and toast some marshmallows. Stay an hour or two. Get home before dark, of course. Oh. What's the matter, Marvin? It's not exactly the way we did it at the academy, sir. Oh? Well, this is your party, Marvin. We'll do it any way you want to. Any way I want to? All right. Instead of driving out, we'll hike out. Hike out? Wait a minute, it's seven miles. That's not very far to carry a pup tent. A pup-a-pup-a-pup tent? Sure, we'll stay all night. But Marvin, it might be a little chilly out there by the lake. Oh, it won't bother you, Woody. Ha-ha-ha-ha. All right, we'll go. More than seven miles to Bear Lake, I've walked at least a hundred on an empty stomach, too. What makes this darn knapsack so heavy? Must be that jar of jumbo pickles. Marvin! Just a minute. What is it, Harold? Don't you think we ought to stop and rest a little while? Have a snack? A little fella like you must be tired. I'm not tired. We better keep going. We want to get there before night falls. Hope we get there before I fall. Gee, this is a lot of fun, isn't it, Harold? Yeah. Well, I'll be upheld a little more of it if it kills me than I think it's going to. I'm so hungry I can... Look at that billboard. Winning Charlieville-eated Charlie's. Famous for thick, juicy steaks. Oven, brown biscuits. Harold, which way do we go now? There's a fork in the road. Fork? I wish there was a piece of steak on it. This is the life, isn't it, Harold? Yeah, sure is. Kind of dark here in the woods though, isn't it, Marvin? Oh, I don't know. There's plenty of life in the North Star. North... Must be sitting closer to where I am. Kind of cold sitting here on the ground, too. Too bad we couldn't have had a fire. Yeah. Gee, that sure was funny when you dropped all our matches in the coffee pot. Yeah. Oh, well. Those hot dogs tasted pretty good cold. Excuse me, Marvin. Shouldn't have eaten all those jumbo pickles, I guess. Marvin? Yes? I guess you're getting pretty sleepy, aren't you? Don't you think we ought to crawl into our little pup tent now? Okay, if you want to. Well, I just thought... Marvin? What was that? That's just an owl. Oh, yeah. You're some woodsman, woody. He laughs at me just once more all. Oh, go open a drug store. Come on, Marvin, let's turn in, huh? Okay. You want to crawl in the tent first? Well, all right. Puck tent isn't very big. Must have been made for a small pup. I'm coming in, Harold. Move over. If I move over, I'll be outside the tent. Pretty cozy in here, isn't it? Oh, yeah, very cozy. Well, good night, Harold. Good night, Marvin. I never knew ground was so hard. I think I'll pull this blanket up. Now my feet are sticking out. Oh, brother, what a night this is going to be. Marvin's asleep already. I'll be laughing at me and his dreams. Fine pal I turned out to be. Did everything wrong? A little trip like this would bring us closer together. Well, I tried. Yeah. What's that? Sounds like a wild animal out there. Coming closer. Sounds awfully big. Bear Lake. Say, it could be a bear. Used to be a lot of bears out here 30 years ago. Maybe this one's been hibernating since then. Could have been a heavy sleeper. He's right outside the tent. Oh, Harold, what's the matter? There's a bear outside, Marvin. Don't you worry, I'll protect you, my boy. I'ma let him hurt you. Get away from here, you bear. Get away now! Hey, Harold, it's just a cow. A cow? Yeah. Kind of silly of me, wasn't it? I guess I've done a lot of silly things today, Marvin. Suppose you think I'm kind of a clown, huh? Like that toy I bought for you. Harold. Yeah? You didn't really want to come on this camping trip, did you? What? You just did it for me. Well, I just thought we might have a good time together. You know, I had a lot of fun at Military Academy. But it's swell to have a real home, and somebody like you for a pal. A pal? Yeah. I didn't know how much I missed having a father. Well, it's swell having a boy like you, too, Marvin. We'll just have a lot of wonderful times together, won't we? Sure will. Well, good night, Harold. Good night, Marvin. Good night, bossy. Stick around, bossy. We'll need some milk in the morning. Congratulations, Woody. Congratulations, sir. What for? As if I didn't know. Well, seriously, Harold, I understand this is a very special occasion. Tonight you've just completed your 10,000th radio broadcast. And I'd like to offer you sincere congratulations from the Columbia Broadcasting System and all of us working with you. Well, thank you, Don. Here's a special message from an old friend of yours, a very important person in your home state, Harold. This is Governor Warren speaking. It is a distinct pleasure to be among those congratulating Harold Perry on the occasion of his 10,000th radio broadcast. This is an outstanding accomplishment in an industry as young as radio. Mr. Perry has accomplished it because he has been able to win a lasting place for himself in the hearts of the listening public. I hope that we may continue to be entertained by him for many years to come. Well, thank you, Governor Warren. Thank you very much. And here's a telegram that just came in from Dr. Frank Stanton, President of the Columbia Broadcasting System. Oh? He says, Dear Hal, congratulations on reaching the 10,000th mark. I wish all your broadcasts had been on CBS, but we hope to have all the rest. With all good wishes, Frank Stanton. Thanks, Frank. I'll take that in advance. And I want to thank all you listeners who have made it such a pleasure for me to entertain you. Good night. Thank you very much. You've just heard the Harold Perry show, Honest Harold. The supporting players tonight include a Jane Morgan, Harley Bear, Shirley Mitchell, Lynn Allen, Wich Cabell, and featured Gloria Holiday as Gloria and Joseph Kearns as Old Doc Yack Yack. Norman McDonald directed and the music was composed and conducted by Jack Meakin. Honest Harold created by Harold Perry was written by Jean Stone and Jack Robinson. Good show, fellas. This week is guest week on CBS. Joan Crawford will make one of her rare radio appearances tomorrow night when she comes to CBS to star on Suspense. Later, Van Johnson will be James Hilton's guest. And now stay tuned for Judy Garland as Bing Crosby's guest. Judy Garland? They follow immediately on most of these same stations. Don Baker speaking. Good night, Don. Good night. This is CBS where you're thrilled to suspension on Thursday night the Columbia Broadcasting System.