 Welcome to the Anxious Morning, where each weekday morning we take a look at ideas, concepts, and lessons designed to help you understand and overcome your anxiety. For more information, visit us at theanxiousmorning.com. For the last two days, we've been exploring the concept of being saved and being soothed. Yesterday, we touched on the idea that asking to be automatically soothed by your safe people is not such a good plan recovery-wise. So what about self-soothing? Is that also a problem? Are we never allowed to engage in self-soothing techniques? Well, some might argue, and I would not necessarily disagree, that the entire recovery process is one giant lesson in learning how to self-soothe in a productive way. In this light, we do not want to demonize self-soothing techniques automatically and across the board. As with many aspects of the recovery process, this is chock-full of nuance. When I'm having a crappy day where life is super annoying and stressful, I engage in self-soothing techniques. I meditate, I slow down, I take breaks, I listen to music, I might even smoke a cigar to relax. These are all forms of self-soothing. I might not take hot baths, sniff essential oils, or tap on my cheek, but not all self-soothing conforms to a rigid standard. The point is that we all use self-soothing techniques or even rituals as part of regular stress in mental health management. When it comes to anxiety recovery, we only want to be mindful of a few traps wherein self-soothing can become compulsive, ritualized, or otherwise turned into safety or escape behaviors. Ask yourself one question. Will I be okay even if I do not launch into self-soothing rituals while anxious? The answer can be telling. The ultimate goal of recovery is to understand that you are capable of doing nothing in response to panic or anxiety and still wind up okay. When we learn that we are supremely capable of moving through these states without the need for special response or evasive action, we are recovered or at least well on the way. I can run a quick progressive muscle relaxation scan and focus on my breath when I panic to keep me from engaging in the spiral. This is a productive use of what might be seen as self-soothing techniques. In this context, we use self-soothing tools to show ourselves to be capable of moving through rather than trying to get away from our thoughts and sensations. I tap my cheek and take grounding breaths when I panic because that helps it go away faster. See, that's not so productive. This puts those self-soothing tools into what I like to call the conditional okayness sphere where we decide that we will be okay but only if certain conditions are met. See the difference? It's not always clear. Intent as usual matters. In the ideal world, and usually with lots of experience, we get to the point where we notice panic and acknowledgement but simply continue on with what we are doing without getting involved with it. That takes time to learn, so especially in the beginning, there will likely be some conscious and intentional use of self-soothing techniques involved. That's okay. Just consider why you're using them. Are you using them to help you learn or are you using them to help you get away from the monster? These are two very different intentions and that matters. This is a bit of a confusing topic for many. So if you have questions, post them in the comments on Substack or on YouTube and I'll do my best to answer them as quickly as I can. Next week, we'll start with the discussion of why it all starts with just showing up for your recovery. If you're enjoying the anxious morning and you'd like to get a copy of the podcast delivered into your email inbox every morning, visit theanxiousmorning.email and subscribe to the newsletter. If you're listening on Apple or iTunes, take a second and leave a five-star rating. Maybe write a small review. It really helps me out. And finally, if you find my work useful and you'd like to help keep it free of advertising and sponsorships, you can see all the ways to support the work at theanxioustruth.com slash support. Thanks so much.