 when you don't cure from the narcissist, when the narcissist stops talking to you, when you no longer see them in person, when they no longer text or call you, you don't cure from the narcissist because they are trying to punish you, it's a form of revenge, they are trying to hurt you for an injury or wrong that they believe they have suffered at your hands, they are indirectly resisting your demands and avoiding direct communication because they are very bitter and resentful, they feel like they have been treated unfairly by you, so now they are holding a grudge, they are not talking to you anymore, they don't tell you what's wrong because they want to keep you guessing, they want to keep you thinking about them, they know that if they just tell you what's wrong then it all ends there, you don't have to keep guessing and then you can put your focus on all significant things in your life, but when they withhold their attention from you, it leaves you thinking that something must be wrong, it makes you try harder to resolve it, which is exactly what they want you to do, they want all of your attention to be on them, they want you to do all of the work to fix the problem, even though nothing you do really fixes anything, because they don't want a resolution anyway, they just want you to try, it makes them feel special and important, it makes them feel like there's something significant to someone, it makes them feel like they exist, which is why you don't hear from them, because then it makes you choose after them, it makes you want to make things right, when they're just playing a game, they're trying to punish you for something that may be of little importance, but they will exaggerate it, they will turn Moa Hills into mountains, because they want to make you feel guilty, but no matter how bad you feel, it's not going to solve anything, an apology is never good enough for the narcissist, they want to see you suffer, and they will do that by giving you the silent treatment, they will stop talking to you, and you may not even know why, because it's just a game, they want to see how much you're willing to put up with, and as soon as you go to them and start trying to fix things or help them, that's when they know they've got you under their thumb, that's when they know they've got you under their influence and control, because now you're trying to fix something, that doesn't even matter, they will act like they don't care about you, they will act like they have no particular interest or sympathy for you, because they're trying to promote disconnection and separation, it's designed to make you anxious, it's designed to make you feel like you are missing something, so that you then try to get it back, they want you to think that you've done something so bad that it could cause your relationship to end, or that it could cause them to do something horrible to you, and to put that in your mind, they will stop engaging with you, they will be distant, until it makes you anxious, it makes you wonder what you did wrong, because it's designed to make you uncomfortable, it leaves you walking on eggshells, when you become extremely cautious about your words and actions, because you never know what's going to upset them next, you never know what's going to cause them to drift even further away from you, but it's all done to cause some disturbance to the way that you would naturally operate, because if they can change the way in which you behave, it means they have control over you, a silent treatment is designed to cause you distress, because they will often threaten to do something to you, in return for something that you are said to have done, they want to leave you feeling like they are going to do something to you, or that they are going to leave you, they use things that are small and insignificant, to gain control over what you do, because you don't want it to happen again, so you adapt to the way they're treating you, you try to work around it, you try to make them feel more comfortable, and by doing that, you become less and less like your natural self, because now you're just doing everything that they expect you to do, at any time that they give you the silent treatment, it puts you on edge, it leaves you wondering what you did wrong, it leaves you wondering what they're going to do to you, but they're just playing a game, and the game is rated away where you can't win, because they make the rules, and they can change the rules whenever they choose to, so your only option is to leave, stop participating in the game, and put the focus back on yourself, because if they've done it once, they're going to do it again, especially if they see that you're trying to make things right, that just tells them to keep it going, the more you try to cooperate with them, the more games there will be, thank you for watching, I hope this video resonates with you, please like, comment, share and subscribe, if you would like to donate, my paypal link is in the video description, coaching inquiries, you can email me at coaching.nl-survivor.uk, thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.