 The other important aspect to interpersonal relationships is the idea of a psychological mirror Relationships are phenomenal mirrors to your own self psyche of what we end up end up doing is we project on a subconscious level undeveloped needs or desires or aspects of our own personality that are unresolved Into the relationship when we look to fulfill it You'll hear them in women's culture the the simple term you complete me women are very cognizant of that Men typically are not You'll find other aspects who you choose to date who you and choose to bring into your life Who you allow to enter in your life how you spend that time? How you value those aspects are all value and judgment aspects that reflect upon your your ideas and your sense of the world Your sense of self-entitlement what you expect for yourself what you expect for your life. They're terribly Eye-opening and if you spend time to actually look at the natures of your relationships You can tell a lot about an individual you can tell a lot about yourself The biggest issues is when you start to have trouble in the relationship or when there's a failure of one or when you start Looking at your emotional needs Relationships again are amazing mirrors to that self reflection You can find and discover a tremendous amount of yourself about that and there there's signs to sit down and say These are things I need to look at these are these are elements. I should study these are elements I should probably investigate a little bit further to actually get a better handle on myself my life and why I'm doing this We also can look at you know the psychological mirror for your personal baggage At no point can we all sit down and say we're all innocent You know you had issues you've been hurt you've been scarred We all come with a number of things relationships can help under underscore some of these issues Looking into handle ease will actually free you up in a number of ways And and many of them can be very very heady and it can have a tremendous amount of emotional weight You don't need to be carrying that and Relationships can actually help you discover these aspects in your own behavior and insight and how you regard them And so in that regard, you know cleansing yourself out of that I think are phenomenal the other aspect is your ability to use a relationship as a testing ground What are your interpersonal skills like? How are you able to communicate? How how much empathy are you able to show are you able to relate with other people? Are you a selfish individual and there are amazing testing grounds to sit down and say I want to learn and develop particular skills And then utilize them and of course this doesn't necessarily have to be just in in very intimate relationships committed monogamous Relationship as younger guys. You should be dating. Okay, that's what these things are for It's part of an interview process and you can have a variety of women in your lives and be utilizing these same skills Appropriately now. These are still relationships. Okay, they may not be monogamous. They not be highly committed But at the same time there's still relationships and developing a better integrated aspect of you is what we're trying to achieve We want you your aspects to be integrated in a very cohesive way that that's also socially and culturally appropriate to your own morals And it's it's it's it's a tough tough kind because you're operating often without a net You're going to be invested, you know, you're going to have something at stake you literally have skin in the game and That that makes decisions much more harder. There's no reset button like on a video game, you know God, I wish there was you know, let me let me save to this point go back and redo it until I should get it Right. Unfortunately, you're gonna have to work to a process We're involved with somebody to the point where you come across that again that make it may take time It may take years, you know But the idea is you're gonna see reoccurring themes again and again and again in your lives until you are able to better handle it And you don't know if you're gonna be able to handle it until life Presents you that same issue or a similar issue and you don't make the same mistakes again You know awareness is not the same thing as knowledge. Knowledge is when you don't do it and trust me I'm aware of so many things in my life I don't necessarily do what I know I'm supposed to and that's human nature You can't be flagulating yourself as well You have to sit down and be a little bit easy on yourself But to sit down and say you're human but to be aware of this situation try better and when you know better do better one of one of the most important aspects of Interpersonal relationships, I feel is not just all the things I've listened This in a very very serious way is where the real damage is done This is where it's gonna cost you dearly. This is where your self-esteem is gonna take a beating This is where you're gonna get gut punched with your self-respect when you put yourself out there. You're highly vested Whether it's emotional monetary commitment any number of things you are gonna be highly invested in an individual in a relationship Often we project our self-identity in them and they get destroyed for any number of reasons One of the sariest aspects and we hear people talking about this within society the breakdown of family structures When you actually commit to the point that you're married to an individual have families and have that and then the failure This affects our world community affects our society Learning basic interpersonal relationship skills I think it's integral to actually alleviating some of that not only in your own lives But in in the greater aspects of the world in which we live in some regard That's that's the real seriousness of what we're talking about the fun side about it is you want to sit down and say I'm gonna have better quality relationships I'm gonna have better quality women my life and I'm gonna enjoy myself in a manner in which I wasn't free to do before These are all very real things On a very selfish level I'm enjoying learning about interpersonal development within relationships because I like one in the client again It's an economic business term. It's easier I'm telling you the idea of being able to have a woman on a regular basis not have to go out every day and hunt for Your food bring it home and kill it and drag in the house and repeat that process on a daily cycle It just makes economic sense emotionally physically everything. I don't want to have to be doing it not only that I'm getting older I'm not like a lot of you. I don't have you know George Clooney's mug You know, it takes work and in relationships are like that. They're also highly beneficial and it's not always about the fucking It really really isn't and that brings me to the last point of why I think interpersonal relationships are so critical Is because the highs and lows of your life the amount of tail you got last night just isn't gonna cut it all right when when you're dealing with Professional development personal achievements day-to-day grind where you've achieved you're gonna want to share that with more than your family and friends No matter how close you are It is not gonna be the same thing as when you are actually very very connected with a specific individual that you share the daily days in days out grind with and That that is a serious issue one of the worst ones is not necessarily when you're alone and you're you're a high point Because we know they may not occur, but I can guarantee you're gonna have low points in your life Some of them are going to be extreme. I went through one pretty much three weeks ago Wasn't in a relationship and I felt it Literally had to face death Lots of loved one in my life and it was a devastating aspect You know and I had to come face-to-face with that be responsible for the terminal care of an individual and What I wanted more than anything else in the world at that moment With somebody I can be emotionally weak with emotionally vulnerable with and emotionally real with and when you're alone You're alone You don't get that back All right, these are kind of the serious aspect I don't want it to be super super serious But it's things that we don't necessarily talk about it's things that we don't relate to and men need to be talking about these things All right Moving on from the purpose of why I think relationships are actually a positive aspect committed relationships You're gonna need to know probably some basic elemental skills and one of the more important ones I think is the notion literally a filtering screening people of Making sure that you're you don't have to deal with toxic individuals things You don't want to do and actually you're dealing with the elements that you want And if you don't have an ability to screen you're gonna be dealing with everything The best way I can relate to it is if you go to a restaurant and you order food and every time you get is a garbage plate You know anything the chef could actually slow throw and slop onto a plate. That's fine as a novelty Sometimes it's damn good more often not you're gonna find stuff. It's like what the hell am I dealing with you know On the flip side is you don't want to have your your control so tight that you have the opposite problem Where you have a fine dining French dish where it's mostly plate It's just a little bit of food. It's not gonna subside you and the elements are propped up in an odd way You're gonna have to moderate and into the degree in which you filter and Screen individuals in and out of your life and you better start having an idea of a sense What do you want? What do you want to screen for? What do you want to screen against? One of the things that I'll typically do very very early on is Is what something I'll call the screaming narrative people project their life story constantly Watch for it. What are they telling you? What are they telling you by the nonverbal cues? What are they telling you by the verbal cues and one of the fun fun ones? I did it last night With with talking a couple of the guys Ask It sounds stupid Look at a girl and ask tell me about yourself and if she sits down and says I'm crazy. I'm wild I'm out of control and I'm an American princess I tell you I'm going to introduce you guys to her Okay, you want to stay away from that one unless that's exactly what you want But Ultimately, if you're looking for a long-term committed relationship, you want to have somebody in your life Those may not be the qualities you want to exhibit All right, another one a psychologist friend of mine and god I wish I could pay him every time I use it Is I'll ask a simple question Tell me about the relationship you have with your father Which incidentally is going to be the longest male running male relationship. She has All right, and in most cases this is going to be the most experience. She has with inter male intersexual relationships And what you what you're looking for is not the specific answer, but the tone of it You know what it's not whether it was healthy or an unhealthy if it's healthy bravo outstanding probably a good sign If it's unhealthy Really pay attention How is she handling how is she working through it or is he just the biggest asset on the world and is a son of a bitch Guess what she's going to do Renact that relationship with probably every male she has in her life You want to watch for these aspects? so that'd be the first aspect of Of filtering screening The other aspect is a business notion And that is that you make your profits at the buy not at the sell and the notion there is What happens is the people you let in in your life the quality of those people that you let in Determined the profit margin you're going to have most people are not going to all of a sudden break out and have a massive transformation They're not going to all of a sudden become these glowing swans of fairy tales They pretty much will move through their life Consistently evolving a little bit but not a big marker change and the quality of those individuals you let in your life Determine the content of it All right And in another way of of analogizing is don't let people in it's almost like taking a train ride get on the wrong train And every stop is going to be the wrong one same thing with people let the wrong people in Every stop every aspect of your life is probably going to be the wrong one you want all right Another aspect I'd like to cover is the idea of not giving women a free pass Too often as men we do this they're they're cute. They're female I want to show them attention and we start becoming performing monkeys. That's not necessarily a smart thing You know wait and make them earn your respect and attention Because you're you're a noble being out by your own right and we don't treat ourselves like that It doesn't mean you have to be ugly doesn't mean you have to be an asshole, but just don't give yourself away from nothing All right, they won't respect you they don't understand it and and trust me they will run with it What happens when you give something away from nothing when you continuously do that they don't value it bingo Value yourself first I think you guys are doing that right now. You're here. You're projecting yourself You're putting yourself out there. You're investing your hard-earned money and coming and attending a seminar like this You're interacting with each other Learn steal ideas share make them their your own