 Hi there lovers and friends! I'm with my lover and my friend Rick Shucks who has not been loved on in so long! So long. So long. I miss you. He had the nerve to tell me he's been in a relationship now for two years. Almost two years. Okay I feel like you're boosting because like I definitely have talked to you. October will be two years. So I did one of these videos with Tim DeLaGhetto which is like your sidekick and so I got the real deal this time around. I got Rick on this. Basically what we're going to do today is call some of you. I asked you to submit questions that you had about relationship sex or dating but this time I'm going to give you the straight up advice. I do a counseling service and during that service I don't necessarily have to say all the things that are on my mind because I want to give you advice that's going to inspire you not you know necessarily put you in your place. So I asked him when he was here I'm like do you have a friend who gives you that kind of advice? You want to know what he said? Yes. Rick. All right let's call the first person. All right. All right. You better keep that. That's pretty embarrassing. This is Shan. And Rick. Hi. Yay that was like a nice rehearsed TV show. I know. Shan and Rick. And Rick. Okay so explain your situation. Okay so Instagram pdm'd me and I had no idea who he was so I double checked with Tinder because I have a Tinder and we matched fair on April. I was in like a weird phase with like dudes at the time so I was like not giving him play the first couple messages he was sending me and then I realized that he was fine as hell so I was like oh I'm tripping so I tried to get on that and he wasn't like really giving me play back but then eventually we ended up hanging out. It was very much more of like a physical situation. It didn't go very far because I don't do that but it was just it was um it was an interesting setup interesting scenario and we didn't really talk after that but then I started going to the church that he serves in. He's actually in the worship team at this church and so basically we ended up talking later and he made it pretty clear that he's open to something a little bit more sexual but not something serious which I'm okay with the not serious part so right now I'm in this phase where I'm kind of entertaining the idea of having a physical relationship that doesn't go as far as like oral and like intercourse. Wait you say you're entertaining a possible sexual relationship that doesn't involve sex? Is that what I'm gathering? A physical relationship. Oh physical that doesn't involve sex. Okay that we're not serious we're not like dating for emotional purposes. So you want a kissing relationship? What would you say it like that? I am at a place where I'm like open to most just new experiences and I have no expectations for many ones if that makes sense. But you do have boundaries. I do have physical boundaries yeah okay okay. Yeah but you gotta know what you want like if you were right now hiring someone to come work for your company who are you hiring? You hiring a boyfriend or you hiring a make-up buddy like what like legitimately forget that the players involved what do you want? I know what I want right now. It sounds like she wants a good time. What everybody wants she wants a good time. The only difference with her and most people is her good time stops at 10 p.m. After that she gotta go home she's not trying to get into this. It's probably more like seven. No no no she's down with a little bit you know she should do some heavy padding. It wouldn't like to go out but she's not trying to go all the way there. That's a difficult one especially with men especially with a man who's already expressed that he wants some sex um so yeah I don't I don't know I don't know how that's gonna work. That's something you really have to say like vocally verbally I'm only going to do x y or z and nothing with d. You have to say that. If you're super honest with yourself what's your motivation for even considering this person your life like what value are they adding? You know what's interesting is that um and I just think that he looks so beautiful. I can't get this gorgeous. Hotness. I was right. Well you sound horny to me just being completely honest but you don't you don't want to want to be and that's that's tough. That's a tough thing to deal with um from what it sounds like you might be setting yourself up to crash your beliefs though. Yeah I would definitely say that this sounds like a situation where from the jump this dude has made it clear for you that he's not an ideal partner whether it took him 10 months to message you in the first place and then it feels like I could be wrong that you're making all the sacrifices so you're going to his church like you're the one who's like hounding him to meet up and then now you're at this place where he's made it clear to you what he doesn't want and you are trying to consider whether he he can fit inside of your world so it's not you who's like this is all that's going to happen and he's you know calling us right now and being like well this is all that she can offer how do I at least keep around in my life like you're still trying to make an accommodation for someone who has made zero accommodation for you and it's a recipe for disaster because essentially what this hot person is doing is they're making you question yourself worth so you get wrapped up and do you actually like this person or do you just want to prove that you're good enough for this person and that's a tricky place to be because one the answer is yes but if he's good at what he's doing which it sounds like he is he's going to keep you guessing that the answer might be no and that's not a thing that you can control I mean you might think that oh I'll just control it past kissing but that kind of personality type you'll find yourself it's like a casino investing more and more trying to get a payout that was never going to be there from the jump unless you're on the opposite side of that and you're just trying to use him for whatever it is you want physically but she don't know what she want no physically I mean she knows he's hot she knows she wants to go to her threshold with him but it's like that it are you just like hey give me that happiness in those lips and then leave me alone is that kind of your goal that you don't want to say I think that it's a combination of both of those things I definitely think there's a component of affirmation there because I can definitely admit that I've elevated him in my head because he's so beautiful and because I'll say that he's a highly visible person he has a decent following he's popping yeah and he has access to a lot of very beautiful women because he models so I think that affirmation that he's at all interested in me to begin with is an ego stroke okay so I do like that but also he's an amazing kisser so that's that's also yeah I'ma lean more towards Shannon's advice on this one then because I think that side will outweigh the other side yeah totally no I mean I had this situation this dude I met on tinder and he was so damn hot and I don't know what happened but like it's almost as if like a shadow came across the moon he just turned super sexual all of a sudden and he started make it out with me super heavy he was pushing so hard for sex like borderline begging like it was weird but he was so fine and such a great kisser and I definitely went back to my car and had to alleviate myself because the sexual tension was so hot you know what I did I blocked and deleted him that day I was like I know what this is I know this is trouble I know this guy's hot and fun fact later on I cast him in one of my videos so I feel like you got to be honest with yourself and be like this is fun and I already did the fun thing I already proved I could get this dude you guys already made out you've already gotten the affirmation so like take your winnings and leave the casino now while you still have your house and your deed intact yeah and I'ma give you some insight on the male mind now I'm not a hot dude but we all think the same no not like not like what she's telling me listen let me let me give it a good advice well thank you I appreciate that but let me give you this good advice there's no correlation with what kind of man chooses you and your value hot ass dudes don't only fuck hot ass girls you know yeah so the fact that he could have all of these women and he's messing with you there's nothing that's of actual value there so don't waste time with that thought that does nothing it means nothing for you but for some reason it's still just like I don't know addiction that's the reason not some reason it's just it's it's all he's got you hooked and he has you hooked on a psychological game there was this thing that I read this book called bad boyfriends I'm gonna recommend that you and everyone read this book it's like a lifesaver especially in your mid 20s but it was saying that like an inconsistent reward nothing makes a lab rat push harder at a button than an inconsistent reward so if they know whatever they push a button the food will come out they'll go about their business running their wheel chill a bit like they'll be living their life and push that button when they want food but if it sometimes gives food and sometimes doesn't the rat will become obsessed with it and that's the same thing with people as well too this dude is giving you inconsistent rewards and he's like giving you a little and taking away a lot and that in itself is gonna it's a mind game that you're going to lose and you're already losing it right now so you got to cut your losses I honestly this is a block delete and ghost situation I say get one more freak adventure out of him and then no because it's fun I mean with all the advice we just gave her she knows now that she shouldn't if she's going to not continue she's going to not continue but at least have a little fun before you do this that's my this is the horror movie where the person just like stays back for a second longer and loses their leg like if you just left when you knew it was shady you would have survived nah I mean because she already doesn't have an emotional attachment so he does though she doesn't it's emotional what you do no I don't yeah see but it is it's still her emotions are tied up in this I feel it in her but it's not emotional attachment to him it's all it's all about her it's all about her it's her pride I got that right you know I'm saying like what you said with the inconsistency he's not giving her that you got that feeling so it's making a try hard so get that and then leave if you leave now you leave with regret you leave feeling like damn I wonder what if get it again and then get out now my expert advice this is leave now I think that you just make the memories big those up in your mind and let them be a legend for you but then you get to leave being like on the high horse the high horse is a beautiful place to sit when you paint the picture down the line so advice battle okay advice battle but maybe let us know what you end up doing just text me but I think for sure this is a one and done situation I don't have time for dudes like that okay well thank you so much for for being here let me play along with us okay thank you for taking the time to tell me about myself okay DM me DM me let us know what you do I will okay all right bye bye bye she definitely texts him right now all right yeah thanks rick she's at his house