 Alright. Yep. So, I'm turning the whole YouTuber thing off. I want to speak to you as the human being that I am. Not forcing comedy into the video for entertainment. I want to keep it real with you guys. I'm not saying Nicholas Light TV isn't real. I'm saying I just want to turn the whole YouTuber thing off right now, and I want to keep it real with y'all, okay? I am starting to feel less and less like myself lately, and it's not because of you. It's a lot of things. It's not my fiance, by the way. I love her to death. I die for her. I do anything for her. She's the best thing in my life. I wouldn't be here without her, and I'd be lost without her. She made me find myself. She's my everything, and I dedicate my life to her, so don't think it's about her. We're fine. Expectations, the weight of the world on my shoulders is more what it's about, not just from my community or YouTube comments, but from family, friends, people in life, what they expect me to be. It's perfect, and to be like a puppet, to do what they want me to do, to be what they want me to be, and I'm sick of it. I'm actually sick of it. I'm really sick of it. For example, I'll use anime as an example. A lot of people want me to react to certain things. Vinland Saga anime, Full Metal, Oshinoko, all these different animes that I've reacted to before, but I stopped, and why is that? You know why? Because I don't get the views that I want to get, and that's just the cold art truth. This is my job, this is my career, and if I see views lacking, I need to make adjustments, unfortunately, and I hate that because I enjoy these things so much. I enjoy reacting to things that don't get the views that I would love them to get, and it sucks. That's the game of YouTube, and that's where I have to fix things. I have to stop worrying so much about views, and people constantly telling me to react to this and that, and then telling them I'll do a week of something when I don't want to do a week of that, but then it's like I go back on my word and I'm a liar, it's a headache, it's a headache, and I'm trying my best. I want to make the content that I enjoy doing, that I love doing, and make people laugh, smile, that's all I want to do. That's all I want to be as an entertainer is to be someone's outlet from a bad day, a breakup, a death in the family, anything. Someone turns on my video and just laughs, that's all I want, but I started letting politics with YouTube and people in general just get in my head. You know, the whole fake reactions thing, I'm going to be honest with you guys, it doesn't bother me anymore. I started to embrace it, even on my streams I make fun of it, because I tried so hard to convince people that I don't fake them, and then I realized it doesn't matter. I can't convince everybody that, I can't convince people that in general, so why even bother? I'll just embrace it, and I'm at the point where if someone believes I fake them, whatever, I'm fine with that, I'm fine. Because if I look at my comments, like 97% or 99%, everyone's like engaging with me, they want to talk to me, they're happy, they laugh at a certain time frame. Why am I not paying attention to that? Why am I paying attention to the small amount of hate? The exposed videos, you look up Nicholas Lai TV, another YouTuber that makes exposed videos on me that claims that I've watched things before, why am I paying attention to that? If I'm over here making people happy, that's all I want to do. I'm not here to prove a point, I'm not here to prove anything to anyone. I'm here to be myself and to help others in the process of that. It's all I know how to do, it's the only thing in life that I felt like I'm good at. And my fiance tells me all the time that I'm doing amazing, that I'm too hard on myself, that I listen to the hate too much. I'm afraid to look at my comments, I'm afraid to look at my tweets, my Instagram, my Discord, my Patreon, because I'm afraid of people. And those days are done, they're done. If you don't like me, just leave. If you think I fake my reactions, call me out on it, make the exposed videos, do what you want. I'm done caring, because there's like a 10 year old out there that watches my videos, and I just made their day. I met so many people in Japan that knew me from my channel that say I saved them from like their bad days. One guy said I saved them in general. That fucking hit me, man. That meant the world to me. I had a waiter at a restaurant tell me how much I did for him, my content, how much joy and happiness I brought him. I had girls come up to me that say they watched me with their boyfriends and they laugh together and it makes them bond. I make content with my fiance and we have such a fun time. I have to stop doing what other people want me to do. If I want to do something for the views, I'm just going to do it. And I have to stop worrying about how one side is going to feel. I got to do what I want to do. And I hope that inspires others, because I watch some YouTubers, they'll vent like I am, and they have thousands and thousands of dislikes on those videos because they're choosing to do views or content that will push them further rather than content that pushes them backwards. Because in the end, this is the job. This is the livelihood. And my priority with my job is to make sure, one, I'm enjoying it and two, it's succeeding. It's not one without the other. I need both. If something is not succeeding, I need to make a change. If I make that change and it's not working, I got to move on. Maybe return to it one day. I'm not doing it because I'm dropping it. I'm losing interest. No, it's my life. But I just wanted to keep it real with you guys because I want to do like a restart where I'm done caring what people think about me. I mean, I think it's good to care what people think about you so you can improve, but I'm done letting it alter my mental health. I'll take criticism, but then again, I don't feel like I do anything that needs criticism. I just react to fucking videos. I'm not a politician. I'm not a doctor. I react to anime. You know what I mean? Like it's not that serious. And I think that's what I had to realize. What I do isn't that serious. Yeah, it's my job, my career. That means it's serious, but the impact on the world, I'm not doing anything negatively. I'm not. Whatever negative emotions come out are from people's insecurities. Or when I was their age, I'd love to expose YouTubers too to get views for myself. I'm not going to lie. I would have loved to find a YouTuber back in the day when I was like 12 or 15 or 16 and expose them to get views. I was a little piece of shit. So I don't blame these people, man. Chase the bag. But it's when I go on those videos and I see in the comments of people just like gang, like dog piling on me and that's what I don't like, man. That's what I don't like. And I have to just say fuck it. And sayonara, like goodbye, man. Goodbye to all that. I just want to do the content I want to do making y'all happy. If I don't make you happy, I hope that future content does. And if it doesn't, then you can go. I still love you. I still appreciate you for ever have come to my channel. But yeah, try my best. It's a lot. And now I'm streaming, which I really have fun with. And I want to do a lot of big things, man. And if anything's in the way of that, I'm going to make adjustments. So hopefully this video inspires somebody to do what they want to do, be what they want to be, regardless of what anyone else thinks. If you want to chase the bag, chase the bag, chase the views, chase the views, do what you want to do. It's your world. Nicholas Light TV is the world that I created. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep that revolving around the sun that is you guys. I don't know where I'm going with this anyways. But yeah, I wanted to keep it real with you guys. I love you. You watching, especially if you made it this far. I love you extra. I love you more than the people that clicked off that never made it this far. I love you more. Keep that between us. But yeah, I've nothing but love for you guys. And besides my fiancee, I'd say you are the second most important people in my life, which sounds awful because then my mom exists. So I have to mess with that list. I don't know, man. Oh my God. She better not be watching this. She watches my depressing videos. She thinks I'm going to kill myself. Oh my God, I would never, man. Unless my girl dies, that's awful to say because she is my life force. She's my life. And she's amazing. You guys don't understand what she's done for me. And anyways, yeah, that's it. I'll see you guys in the next video. I love you.