 So, uh, you might be concerned about whether the man in your life actually genuinely loves you or whether he's just going through the motions and he's just in a relationship for other reasons. If you didn't know this, some people get into relationships and they stay in relationships not because they're in love and they really care about the person, but because of things like it's really easy to get physically intimate with somebody and then they just kind of naturally fall into this relationship. They don't want to be alone. They want something else besides physical intimacy or love from you. They think that being in a relationship is better than not having anybody or not being in one at all. They don't want to leave you because it's too much pain and they know that it's really painful to leave somebody, even if they don't feel it for you anymore or didn't feel it from you with you in the beginning and kind of fell into the relationship and then it's like, oh, do I get out or not? Right? Or maybe he's really infatuated with your body, but not really connecting with you mentally or emotionally. So what are the signs that he actually genuinely cares about you? He's in love and this is something real for him. So by the way, my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to commitment connection. Here we go. If you're with us right now, make sure that you say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from. It's cool to see women from all over the world watching these live streams. So what are the signs? The first one is he always listens to you and he at least tries to remember the details. So if a man doesn't really care that much about you, he's not really going to listen. He's not going to really try to remember the details and figure out what you're really talking about and when things are and what's important to you. He doesn't really care about that. And so if he is listening to you and he is remembering these details, then it shows that he does actually care about you and he's probably in love. So number two is to him, your appealing opinions and feelings are always taken into account. So more than just listening and letting something go in one ear and out the other, he actually figures out what's going on with you. He cares about your opinions. He cares about your feelings. He cares about what's going on with you and how you feel about different things and how you feel about what he's doing and the experiences that he's taking you through assuming that he's a masculine man and he's taking you through different types of experiences. Number three is he wants to share his entire life with you, all of his hobbies, his interests. So when a guy really falls deeply for a woman, he wants to share everything. So way beyond just the physical realm and into like what's going on in his mind, what's going on in his heart, what's going on with his, his hobbies. You know that he cares for you because he starts opening up about special information that he doesn't necessarily tell lots of other people. So or most people won't ask or he, he doesn't reveal himself in those ways to other people, but he does with you. Number four is if it becomes between you and some other plans that he has, you always win. So he wants to spend time with you. He wants to hang out with you. And if it's like, Hey, I'm going to be doing this, but you know, she's going to be doing that and she wants me to spend time with her or I want to spend time with her. You end up winning in those scenarios every single time because he values his time with you more than anything else, except for maybe work because work usually becomes a priority over all other things and, but when he's not at work and he's not working, you become that priority, the number one priority that he has in his life. Number five is he knows what's going on in his future and he thinks about you being in his future and he includes you in those things. And so if he isn't including you in things about his future, then it's not really love, right? It's not real love, but a man that really loves you will think about what needs to happen, what he needs to do with you in order to include you in things that he's doing in his future, because he knows that that's how you guys are going to be happy together in the long run. Number six is he introduces you to his family. So part of talking about the future involves spending time with the family or talking to the family or introducing you to the family and the family knowing about who you are and what's going on. You don't want to be a dirty little secret. I've heard women talk about this before where they're like, oh, yeah, you know, he's totally in love with me, but he doesn't show me off to his family. He doesn't show me off to his friends. When I'm around them, I'm just a friend to them and to him. And he doesn't introduce me as his girlfriend or anything like that. What's going on there? Well, what's going on there is that he's not valuing you enough to want to introduce you to those people. And so it's not it's not really real there, right? You deserve more than that and you are worth more than that. So make sure that you are putting yourself in a situation that's healthy for you. That's healthy for the long term. Don't ever, ever be anybody's dirty little secret. Number seven is he's stable and he's mature in his life. So this one's important because if a man has an erratic life or he does know where he's going in life or he doesn't know what's going on, this can end up being a really dangerous investment for you. And so he might tell you that he loves you one week, but then he experiences a change of heart the next week or some other things are going on and things are blowing up in his face and everything's a drama. And he doesn't know where anything's going, right? And and you don't want to be a part of that world. You want to be in a world where he's stable, he's mature. He's going after what he wants in his life. You're included in it. He takes your opinions into account and you're moving forward in a in an awesome way towards the type of relationship that you want to have. So number eight is he will be honest with you even to a fault. So a man that's really honest, has no secrets. He's he's not worried about you looking over and seeing who he's talking to on texting on his phone or any of that kind of stuff because he's open about it. He knows what he wants and he wants you and you're a part of his life. And so he's not worried about keeping secrets. He's not worried about telling you some kind of lie or something. He's he wants to be honest with you. He wants to be upfront and tell you everything that's going on with him and his life because he doesn't want to hold things back and he wants you guys to be together. Number nine is and by the way, if you're watching this right now when you get what I'm talking about, say I get it in the chat. If you don't get what I'm talking about, ask a question about different things that you have about this or if you have questions about your particular situation, make sure that you ask those in the chat as well. So number nine is he never wants to stay angry. He always wants to work things out with you and he wants to figure things out and and he doesn't want to stay upset. He wants to work. He wants to connect with you. He wants to love you. He wants you guys to be happy together. He doesn't want to have a bunch of drama. He doesn't want to pull back and and try to pretend like he's right and you're wrong and all that kind of stuff, right? That that's manipulative toxic behavior that you don't want to be involved in. And instead, what he's trying to do is create a empowering relationship where you guys can move forward and be happy together and have a joyous, enjoyable relationship long into the future. All right, so I'm going to go over the nine different things again. Like I said, if you have any questions, make sure you put your questions in the chat and I will get to the questions here in just one second. So the nine things that he does, which prove that he genuinely cares about you are these things. One, he always listens to you and remembers the details. Two, to him, your opinions and feelings are always taken into account. Three, he wants to share his life with you, even his hobbies and interests. Number four is it becomes if it becomes between you and something else, any other kind of plans out there, you always win. Number five is he knows his future and he knows that you're in it. And he includes you in that some women take that one. And that's like the one that they like hold on to. And some guys know that. And so you don't want to end up in a situation where you're getting fooled. You want to look into, look at the whole scenario, right? If a guy is just talking about future plans with you, but he's not doing a lot of the other things that are necessary. Don't get fooled and fall into that one. Number six is he introduces you to his family, right? So as I've talked about in other videos, introducing you to his family doesn't mean that he wants a committed relationship with you, but not introducing you to his family, not introducing you to his friends, introducing you to his friends or his family as just a friend or any kind of combination in those types of things, that is a giant red flag. And so you want to watch out for that. Number seven is he's stable and mature in his life. Number eight is he's honest, even to a fault. Number nine is he never really wants to stay angry. And he wants to work things out as much as he possibly can in any kind of situation that you guys have. So. All right, let's see what's going on here in the chat. Hello, hello, hello, Glasgow, Houston, Bronx, Buffalo, Kansas City, Canada, Illinois, people from all over the world. England, South Africa, hello, hello, hello, Philippines, Ghana, San Francisco, Uganda, Greece. Hello, everybody. Hello, hello, hello. What questions do we have? What questions do you have from me that you'd like to get my opinion on here? So Maribeth says, my guy has done all these things except introduce me to his family. Oh, we were just talking about that. I've met one of one friend like his brother, but he said it's because he's recently divorced, valid or excuse. Well, it's it's concerning either way, right? Like how recently was he divorced that he's not going to introduce you to his friends and his family, right? Like I can get it. The reason that he's doing that is because he doesn't want to introduce you too soon, right? And so he's not introducing you because he's concerned that you're not going to be around for a long time. And they know they're going to be like, oh, what's she doing here? Or maybe he might be dating somebody else that he's introduced to them. I mean, there could be a whole bunch of different reasons. So yeah, I would go with that's an excuse. And it's a setup for something that could be really negative in your future. So you might want to be a little bit more concerned about what's going on there and look at that. And if if I were you, I wouldn't be I wouldn't be in a situation where you guys have been dating for, you know, three to six months or longer than that, where he's not trying to introduce you to these people or talking to them about you and they know who you are and you know who they are. I if I were you, I wouldn't be in a situation like that because that is a long road to not being in a fulfilling relationship for you. And by the way, anybody who doesn't have my program yet, you can go get it for free. It's at the foreverwomanformula.com. You can check out there's there's a link right there. A there's that's the that's the link right there, the foreverwomanformula.com. Go there, check out the video, watch it, get my program for free. It's got a lot of really good information in there about what you should be doing in terms of getting into a relationship from the very beginning and how to make sure that you're protecting yourself, that you're communicating your value and that you're getting into the best possible situation that you can. It's the forever woman. That's what you want to be is you want to be a woman that he wants to be with forever. So Facebook anonymous user says, how long do I wait when he says he wants a future with me, but he needs patience. He's recent recently divorced. Yeah, it's one of those things where, you know, recently divorced people and we get a lot of this and we hear a lot of this. But it's one of those things where people when they're just getting out of relationships, especially a divorce where they were married, which means that those two people had a lot of things going on with each other emotionally, and then they ended up getting divorced, which means there's probably a lot of pain and potentially anger and upset and all kinds of other things. And what they say is that when you get divorced, you should wait like at least a year plus, you know, a year for every year that you're married. And so which is kind of extreme, I think. But the point is that, yeah, he might have a lot of things going on. He might still have a lot of emotions going on. He might end up still going back to his ex. And so like I'd be kind of careful about getting too serious on your side, getting too attached with a guy who's divorced right now, because you might end up getting into a bad situation where he's still kind of trying to figure out his emotions, he's trying to heal, he's trying to decide whether he actually wants to be away from his ex or not. Maybe he might end up getting back into a situation with her. And so you might you really need to be careful in those kinds of situations, especially if he's saying that you need to be patient because he just came through a divorce, like, what does that mean? You need to be patient. Your question that you should be asking him is how long do you need to be patient for, because he in his mind should know. And if he doesn't give you a really solid answer about how long you need to be patient for with him, then what's going to end up happening is you're going to be waiting on him forever and you're just going to be hanging out with him. And you have no idea what his actual intentions are. When a guy figures out that a woman is really the type of woman that he wants to be with and he's certain about that, it's pretty quick where he's like, you know what, let's do this, let's get back into this, you know, whatever. And so he might be kind of checking out his other options. He might be playing the field right now. And so you want to make sure ultimately more than anything else that you are taking care of yourself more than anything, because that is the most important thing that you can be doing. And so if a guy is giving you any kind of excuse like that, you need to be patient, I'm not ready to get into a relationship, any of that kind of stuff, what you want to do is say, how long is it going to be before you're ready to get into a relationship? And then whenever, whatever he tells you, say, OK, cool, let me know when you're ready. And if I'm still single at that point, then, you know, maybe we can talk still and, you know, figure something out at that point. And then what you need to go do is go out and start dating other people, because otherwise you're putting yourself in a situation where you're just kind of latching on to him and you're getting more and more attached to him. And he's not ready for it. Who knows if he's ever going to be ready for it. Who knows what's going on there. And you don't want to be sitting around waiting to find out if this is actually going to work or not. So Meg says, how to ask if he sees a future with me? It's been a year and we've never discussed it. Well, you don't need to ask. He will start talking about things, right? He'll have events or things that he's thinking about doing in the future. And he'll talk about you being involved in those things. If you've been with a guy for a year and he's not talking about those things, that could potentially be a red flag, right? It's it's at least a yellow flag, if nothing else. And it makes you what you should be doing now is thinking about what's going on in your relationship and thinking about all all the other variables and saying, OK, what other variables might be missing here in terms of actually being in a serious relationship and how long do I want to sit around and wait to see if if this is actually going in the direction that I want it to be going. And if you don't have it yet, you should get my program, The Forever Woman at theforeverwomanformula.com, because I go over exactly what you need to be doing to make sure that you're getting into the best possible situation that you can be getting into. Excuse me. So Sharon says, if he does something that he normally wouldn't do, if he just wanted hooking up, does that mean he wants more? I'm not totally sure what you're saying here, Sharon. It sounds like you're saying if he does something that he normally wouldn't do. So his normal behavior, he's doing something different. If he just wanted to hook up, then then he would do if he just no, it doesn't that that does not mean that he wants something more. So what means that he wants something more is he starts talking to you about wanting something more. Right. He can do everything, Sharon. He could do all these things that we're talking about on this list here, where he talks about having a future with you. He talks about his he introduces you to his friends and family. He has you move in with him. He gives you a key to his house. He like all kinds of things, right? He could be doing all those kinds of things, but he could still only see you as a casual flame. And I know that can be like kind of confusing for a lot of women to hear, but I know women who have been in situations like this where a guy has done all these things with them and they thought that it was moving towards a real relationship because she knew his friends, she knew his family. She, you know, was living with them. She was doing all these things, but he didn't see her as anything more than something casual, something that he was just holding on to because it was comfortable and it was easy and he didn't really want anything more with her. And she potentially was just being kind of this placeholder for for him until he found the woman that he actually wants to be with. And so you need to make sure that you're getting yourself into the best possible situation and you're not setting yourself up for failure. And the best way to do that is to use my program, the forever woman at the foreverwomanformula.com and making sure that you're doing all the things, having all the conversations that you need to be having, making sure you're talking about exclusivity, making sure that that he's, you know, investing in you and doing a whole bunch of other things, making sure that that you're having conversations about what he's looking for, making sure that you're not putting yourself into situations where he's getting all his needs met, but you're not getting all your needs met because your needs and his needs might be two completely different needs. And so you need to make sure that you know what his needs are and what your needs are and you're not giving him everything and not getting your needs taken care of in return. And so you need to make sure you're communicating your needs with him. You need to make sure that you're getting yourself into a good situation and you need to make sure that you're not setting yourself up to be heartbroken in a year or two years from now, because you thought that the situation that you were getting yourself into was something that it's not. So those are very important things that you need to pay attention to. I hope that answered your question, Sharon. So Rosalie says, learning to hear what a guy says and to really pay attention to his actions, what he does, if the two don't match, run the other way. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely a flag, right? There's a flag and you should start paying attention, right? His actions aren't matching up. If nothing else, what what happens there is you need to like take yourself out of bad situations and make sure that you're only getting yourself into good situations and there's a lot of things that you can do in order to make sure that happens, you can't 100% protect yourself, right? There's no way that you can 100% make sure that you're always getting yourself into a good situation. There's people that lie. There's people that, you know, do whatever that can end up hurting you. But there's a lot of things that you can do to make sure that you're setting yourself up for the best possible chance of getting into the relationship that you want to have. And it starts really in your mind. It starts with making sure that you believe in your own value, that you believe that you are worth having what it is that you want in your life and you're not willing to settle for anything less, making sure that you're positioning yourself as a valuable, amazing woman that a man would be lucky to have in his life and then making sure that you communicate in a way that shows that you're a woman who believes in your value and that you're not going to ever put yourself into a situation that's not right for you. Because if you do those things, then the likelihood that you're going to get into a great situation and get into a great relationship dramatically increases. And we have women all the time who come to me who are like, hey, this is this is what end this is where I was. You know, I went through your Forever Woman program and, you know, I got married. We just had a woman this last week who got married from using the program because of, you know, making sure that she's communicating all the things that that are necessary in order to get into the right relationship. And so if you guys don't have the program yet, you should definitely go get it. You can go get it for free, the foreverwomanformula.com. So go check that out. Michelle says, Matt, he lacks confidence in himself, is afraid to commit to a long-term relationship. Do I give him time? How much time? What can I do to increase his confidence? You are not, it's not your job to increase his confidence, right? If you're over here increasing your man's confidence, guess who's going to have to do the next thing in his life? You know, basically you're trying to act as his mom, right? You're like, oh, well, he's not ready yet. He's still this scared, you know, Michelle, you're like, he's still this scared little puppy dog. And how do I get him to, you know, start learning how to ride his bicycle and learn how to walk and, you know, start being a big puppy in the world, right? And it's like, that is not your job. That that's not going to get him there. That's actually the opposite of what's going to get him there. It's more likely than not just going to be enabling him. And so what you need to do is you need to walk away from him immediately and start building abundance in your life and abundance of options and abundance of connection. That way you're not stuck on this dude who's, you know, scared of committing to you because he's not ready yet. He's like, oh, I'm not ready for a relationship. It's like, OK, great, right? If you're too scared, then go get some confidence, right? It's it's it's not your job and you can't give him that confidence. I mean, what are you going to do? Put him through a boot camp, make him, you know, teach him a bunch of skills so that he can be confident and go out in the world and actually do stuff and, you know, like, you know, throw him out of it, you know, fix his wings and make sure he's flapping really hard and then throw him out of the nest. That's his job. That's that was his parents job when he was growing up. And he needs to learn how to be a man and decide what it is that he wants. And right now what it sounds like is he's deciding not to be in a real relationship with you and he's throwing all these nonsensical excuses out at you that he's hoping that you're going to buy. And it sounds like you're on the verge of actually buying these nonsensical excuses that he's giving you. And what you should be doing is saying, hey, well, when you figure out how to be a man and figure out how to be confident, you know, get a hold of me and maybe I'll still be interested. Maybe I won't be maybe I won't be in a relationship by then. I don't know. But I'm not going to sit around and wait and hope that this guy gets his stuff together so that he can finally man up and get into a relationship with you. It's nonsense. I mean, it's ridiculous. Like, I don't I don't know why you would even consider this at all. So let's see here. Doop, doop, doop, do what else do we have? Vicki says, if in a long distance relationship, what would we expect he be doing in introducing me to his family? We are three states apart. Well, it depends, right? Are you guys meeting each other? Are you guys meeting up with each other on a continual basis? What do you mean that you're in a long distance? Have you have you guys actually met? Have you do you meet in person? Do you meet in person regularly? If you guys are, which I have a program called Long Distance Allure, you can get it at my website at commitmentconnection.com. You can go and check that out. And that that will teach you how to make sure in a long distance situation, you're getting your you're making making it so that he misses you and he craves you and he can't wait to see you again. And if you're actually meeting this guy and you guys are hanging out and one of you guys is flying or driving to go see the other, then it shouldn't be real long before you guys start doing that kind of stuff. Right? If you're in a long distance relationship where you're not actually meeting each other, well, there are a whole bunch of big red flags around the fact that you guys aren't meeting up with each other. And so you want to consider that a little bit more. But yeah, I mean, what will end up happening, right? You you end up going over to his state, right? Or he flies out to yours or whatever, right? And then you're around each other for a whole weekend, supposedly, if you guys are meeting up for those kinds of time periods. And then it's just natural that his friends are going to be around. Your friends are going to be around. You're going to be kind of introducing each other to each other's friends. Right? And and you know that that he's being open and honest with his friends about the fact that he's seeing somebody and he's showing you to his friends and his family, and that that's what that looks like. It's it's like a regular relationship, except you guys are meeting up instead of potentially being around each other all the time. You're meeting up once a month or once every six weeks or once every two weeks or whatever it is that you guys have decided that you're going to do based on your type of relationship and whatever financial situation you guys have. So Sharon says, is it bad to sleep with a guy you like that you might want to pursue a relationship with? It's not bad necessarily, but you want to make sure that you're following my system from the beginning, because if you're not following my system and you're just sleeping with some guy that you hope will go somewhere, then you're you're putting yourself into a really bad situation. A lot of women come to me because they get into these situations where they think that they're going to get to a man's heart by hooking up with him. But that's not how you get to a man's heart. Physical. In fact, it's it's more likely that he will take you from being this relationship material woman to putting you and slotting you into this. Just hook up, just casual, just friend with benefits type of situation ship. If you just start sleeping with him without making sure that you guys are connecting in the right way and that you're asking him the right questions and that he's investing in you and that he's doing all the things that I talk about in the Forever Woman program, the foreverwomanformula.com. You can check it out there. And so I recommend that you check that out and learn more about it. Kathy says, hi, Matt. My ex and I ended on friendly terms last year. Well, that's always nice. And recently he's been in touch and asked me to quarantine together. I declined. How would I know if he's interested in more than sleeping with me? Well, I would be concerned about that for sure. If you guys are quarantining together, right? Like that's that quarantining together is like right now's verbiage for let's get Netflix and chill, right? So if somebody tells you, hey, let's get some Netflix and chill, it's possible that he's saying, hey, I just want to hang out with you and get to know you better and build a relationship with you, but there's a much higher probability that he's saying, hey, I just want to hook up and hang out and have a situation ship going on together with us. And so the way that you need to look at the situation with your ex is as though you're dating a new person. That's what you want to do. You don't want to treat him as if you're dating somebody that that you already have a relationship with. You want to treat it as if he's you're coming together in this new relationship and he needs to woo you. He needs to court you. You need to ask the questions to make sure that you're getting yourself into the best possible situation with him and that you're not setting yourself up for failure in this case. And so if so, my suggestion would be that you don't quarantine with him because that is a really bad idea from the standpoint of making sure that I mean, would you quarantine with a stranger that you met on online or at the park or something like that? Would you and he was just like, you talked to him for a little bit and he's like, hey, let's quarantine together. Would you be like, oh, yeah, sure, let's go quarantine, right? I don't know. Maybe maybe would. I hope not. Either way, I think you should get my program and check that out and pay attention to that. So let's see here. Rosalie says, I have a friend who I recently visited in another state. While there, he's expressed how much he really likes me. We got affectionate with each other PG 13 level. But since I've been back home, he barely responds to my texts. He hasn't contacted me once without me reaching out to him. Yep, that's a red flag. My red my Roya says my friend is dating someone who is doing everything that you said. But the problem is he is 18 years older than her and has a seven year old son. And she is scared if she introduces him to her family, they wouldn't approve him. Right. Yeah, I mean, that's that's a common situation. People people have that problem all the time. And families are have different viewpoints about different types of things. And so it could be a little legitimate concern. But, you know, does she want to have a real relationship with him or not? And is she serious and are they serious? And if they are, then who cares what her family thinks? It doesn't ultimately it doesn't matter. She's she's an individual and she's her own human being and she needs to decide what it is that she wants and stop allowing her family to dictate what she's going to do in her life. And William says why guy says, I'm guessing that was supposed to be my guy. My guy says it it's so hard when it becoming something more serious. He has never been in the serious relationship before. So I'm always giving him space and time. I'm trying to be patient. Well, my suggestion is that if he doesn't want to be serious, that's fine. You should find somebody who does want to be serious with you and start there instead of, you know, and let him know. Just be like, look, you know, if you don't want to get serious, that's cool. That's fine. I mean, that's what I want. And so if that's not with you, that's fine. I'll just go find somebody that will because I want that ultimately. And if that's not you, you know, that's not a big deal. You know, I love you and I think you're amazing and I think you're awesome. And I'd love it to be you. But if you're not willing to make sure that I'm getting my needs taken care of while I'm taking care of your needs, then I'm going to go find somebody who's more interested in valuing me and thinking of me as a woman who's worthy of what it is that I want. All right, so Jessica says, oh, I know that and it's sickening. I'm curious if they come back or do they move on to the next poor soul? Who gets, oh, I think that was from some other thing going on. So faith, love and beauties, something says, oh, Matthew, finally caught you live. Happy Easter question. How can I maintain my LDR without being able to see my fella during the beer bug? He's the one. No question. Old school, hardworking man reminds me of my poppy. Talking for five months, haven't seen him in 20 years, went to high school together. We connect on every level. I am a forever one. Cool. Yeah, I mean, you should continue to do all the things that we talk about in the Forever Woman program, let him invest, let him do all those things, let him reach out, let him do all that kind of stuff that we talk about in the Forever Woman program. And if you want something specifically about a long distance, you can go pick up my long distance program. I've also got some live streams on my channel about long distance dating and what you should be doing and different types of things that you want to make sure that you're doing different types of of games that you can play from like word games and stuff while you're communicating with each other, making sure that you're focusing instead of making it all about texting and and the phone that you make it about actual video dates and having kind of this time when you're actually meeting up together at some point so that you have something to look forward to, all that kind of stuff. That's really what you want to be focusing on in terms of long distance between now and whenever you guys are out of quarantine and all that kind of stuff. But yes, it's very similar. It's not the principles are the same and it works the same way. You're just doing it with long distance stuff and you're building that unpredictability in there and you're you're giving him space and you're letting him invest and initiate contact and pursue and you're connecting with him with the questions that we talk about and all that stuff that I talk about in the Forever Woman program. You're doing that, but you're doing it through long distance ideally over video chat rather than text messages or phone calls. So yeah. Anonymous Facebook user says I met a guy in person one time and we've been talking on the phone due to the lockdown. He mentioned he'd want to kiss me when he sees me next time. Is that too much? No, absolutely not. I mean, it's it's one of those things like you need to figure out what you feel comfortable with is the ultimate answer to that. If you feel comfortable with him kissing you, then no, absolutely. It's not too early for that. And kissing is is great. I love kissing. People love kissing. Kissing is a great thing. It's one of one of the most favorite, enjoyable things ever. You know, there's some women that talk about this whole thing about too early to kiss, right? Don't kiss on the first date and all that kind of stuff. I'm I don't want I don't believe in that. I believe that you should do it when you feel comfortable. And if you don't feel comfortable, make sure that you're setting boundaries in the right way where you're saying that you do want this, but you're just not ready for it, right? Because if you hard reject a guy in a situation like that and he feels like you're actually pushing him away, then that can lead to feelings of rejection on his part and like you're not really that interested. And he's not really sure if he wants to see you. But if you if you communicate the right way when he does it, if you're not quite ready yet for it, then he he'll feel like you're still on the same page and that he understands and that he can appreciate. He might still feel a little bit rejected by it, but there's a much higher probability chance that he'll understand and that he'll respect your boundaries and what it is that you want. Doop, doop, doop, doop, doop. Herdeclued, Herdeclued. I'm not sure I pronounced your name. It looks like a Herdecluedie. Herdecluedie. Something something like that. Sorry for sorry for butchering your name. Oh, anyway, says my guy is waiting for my divorce to go through. He said he will wait for me. He is waiting, however, he don't talk much. He recently asked me if we talk with my ex and I said, no, which is true. He also talked about a future with me. What do you think about this? Well, I think he's protecting himself, right? He's trying to be smart in whatever way he possibly can because he knows. He's probably talked to people and he knows that messing with somebody who's still married is a is a really tricky thing and that a lot of women and men and everybody who are still married, they're still in kind of a situation that is really messy and that you could end up going back and all kinds of other things. And so he's probably like, I'm not going to mess with that for right now. I'm going to go and kind of either play the field or deal with my life or have a different priority on what's going on with me that way. I don't have to sit around and try to build this relationship with this woman who ends up going back to her husband or doing whatever. And so it's the same things that we've talked about already in this video. And it's just on the other side, right? So you want to make sure that I mean, yeah, it that's what he's doing. He's just he's giving you space because he doesn't want to get himself into a bad situation is what it sounds like to me. So Rosalie says a guy who broke up with me a month later asked me to date him exclusively and he wanted us to work out, told me as we're dating that he's not sure if he wants to be in a relationship. My question is, why did he ask me to be exclusive to him? Well, because things change, right? Things change with everybody. And and that's it's it's something that happens with everyone, right? And not necessarily everybody, but his things happened with him. And so he was feeling a certain way and he contacted you and he was missing you and he's like, oh, let's get together. And then you guys got together and you started dating each other. And then he was like, you know what, I'm not sure that I really want to be in a relationship because he's probably started getting into the relationship and he started having his insecurities come up. He started realizing that there's things that he doesn't like about being in a relationship. There was a comedy skit that was done. Several years back with I don't remember the guy's name right now, but the comedy skit, what he did was he was talking about how when you're outside of a relationship, it's like you're not in a relationship. It's like walking past a party and wishing you were there. And then when you're in a relationship, it's like being at a party and wishing that you're in another party, right? Or wishing that you're outside by yourself or whatever, right? And so basically the point of it, and I'm not saying that that's true for a lot of people or anything like that, but it's true for some people where they get into a situation and then they start, they get into a relationship and then they start realizing that that they have issues that it means that they're going to have to start as a man for within a lot of situations, it means that he needs to start providing. He needs to start paying for dates. He needs to start figuring out what you're doing and where he's going to take you and he has to put all kinds of energy and effort and money and time and thought into making this happen and making sure it works, right? Because relationships take time and energy and thought and money and all kinds of things. And if he decides like, hey, this isn't, I'm not willing to do that or his insecurities come up and he's like, I'm not really worth it or any of that kind of stuff, right? He might end up pulling himself out of the situation because he's not really ready for it. And if you're in that situation with him, all you have to know is that he's, he's wishy-washy and that he's willing to be inconsistent in, in his conversations with you and his intentions with you, which means what you need to do is go into mode of protecting yourself and making sure that you're taking care of yourself and you're not getting too hung up on this guy. So see, what else we have here? Kathy says, is it OK to ask a new guy what types of girls he likes? Or is that chasing him? Well, the problem with asking a guy what kind of girls he likes is that there's kind of this underlining assumption that goes with that conversation. And what it means is that you're not really certain the underlining context, the underlining frame, I call it, it's called framing. The underlining frame of that conversation is that you think that maybe he's not really that attracted to you or that he's not really into you because why would you ask what kind of girls he likes? Would you be asking him what kind of girls he likes to find out if he likes other girls because you're bi and you're into polyamory? Or are you asking him that because you're insecure about whether he likes you or not? The frame that you want to be coming from is a frame that you are exactly what he's looking for, that you are hot, that he's attracted to you, that he likes you and that you're the type of woman that he wants to be with. That's the kind of frame that you should be coming from when you're connecting with him, because that is a confident frame. That is a frame that that says that you know that you're valuable, that you know that you're attractive, that you know that he would want to be in a relationship with you and that he needs to prove it. And the other frame of like, is it what kind of girls do you like? Is a frame of I'm unsure about myself. I'm unsure whether you actually like me. I'm I'm unsure of my value. I'm unsure of if I'm actually good enough to be in a relationship with you. And so you don't want to come from that frame. And you want to start changing your belief systems about what you deserve, about what kind of a guy you can get, about what your worth is. And the best way to do that is to use my program, The Forever Woman. I take you through exercises in that program. It's a free program. I take you through exercises in there about how to change your belief systems and start believing that you're a woman of value. You're a woman that a man will chase and pursue and wants to be with. And that this guy wants to be with. And so that's my suggestion is you go get The Forever Woman formula at TheForeverWomanFormula.com and pick up that program free. Watch the video. There's a video detailing what's going on in it. Pick up the program. Go through it 10 times and make sure that you're coming from a place of value where you really know what you deserve and what you want and that this man should and will absolutely like you and be attracted to you and love you. So Michelle says, how do you keep something new and new, fun and moving with this beer bug and stay at home orders? He's doing everything possible with the current situation. We're really wanting to break the rules. Almost had a lake picnic. Watch the sunset. Decided that wasn't the right thing to do at this time. We have to be responsible. And you know, good on you for being responsible and good on you for, you know, but what does it say about what's going on? You have this kind of craving. You guys want to meet up with each other, but you can't. Well, what I would do if I were you, Michelle, is I would start talking to him about about having about this this thing in the future. Right. So I would treat it as like a long term relationship type of situation. And I would set, you know, have some kind of plan where you guys think that you guys it's going to be OK to have a date and meet up and hang out and and have fun and all that kind of stuff in the future and actually set a planned date. And, you know, if that ends up, if things end up getting pulled out, you know, earlier where you guys are able to meet up with each other and all that kind of stuff, that's great. You can change the date. And if not, then you guys can push it forward. But making sure that you have this specific time to meet up and then just do what we talk about normally, Michelle, I know you've been with us for a while. So you know some of the stuff that we talk about here. In regards to unpredictability and letting him pursue and letting him invest and letting him do all those things and just allowing that to come through with what it is that you're doing. And so it's it's all the same stuff, right? You want to use what you're talking about is how do I keep this kind of variety, unpredictability, kind of fun, interesting, passionate, exciting thing going on, right, which is all about the unpredictability principle. And all that really is is just making sure that, you know, you're changing things up a little bit and you're having different kinds of conversations and that you're having fun when you are having these conversations and you're, you know, you can do a whole bunch of different things, right? Like I talk about in the Long Distance Allure program, there's different kinds of word games that you can you can play where you're having fun and talking about these different kinds of things. And so it just depends on what you want to do. And, you know, just keep changing it up, you know, and and, you know, keep, keep that, you know, it sounds like what you're doing is working and it's been working because he he's he really wants to meet up with you and he's excited about it. And you guys are planning and it's like, oh, we shouldn't do it, right? Or whatever, right? So it sounds like what you've been doing is working right now. So Tammy says, hi from AZ. So get it. Thank you. Always looking forward to listening to you, Matthew. Happy Easter. You are welcome. Thanks for being here. Doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop, doop. You know, says you're in a mood today, Matt. Am I what kind of a mood am I in? What kind of a mood am I in? What kind of a mood am I in? What kind of a mood am I in? What kind of a mood? What kind of a mood? What kind of a mood? Yeah, what kind of a mood am I in? So a lot of women come to me because they want to get into a relationship. They want to attract a great guy who loves them and sees them and absolutely cherishes them. And one of the things that's going on in the world right now is that, you know, men are pulling away, they're disappearing. They're saying they just want something casual. They're scared of a relationship. They're scared of commitment, right? All these things that you keep hearing that we've been talking about in this livestream that women are asking questions about. And, you know, it's one of those things like it makes a lot of women who are in our community, they've said that it makes them doubt themselves and feel confused, start doubting their own value, their own self-worth. And many of them feel like they just want to give up on dating relationships and men altogether. And if you're having that problem, you're not alone. This is a huge thing right now. There's a lot of people who are having challenges with getting into great relationships. I was just watching a video yesterday about it, actually, where there's there's a switch coming right now, right? Where men and women are saying, starting to go, you know what? What if I had compassion for the other person? And what if I started to think about how to change, create change within myself so that my experience of dating and relationships could ultimately change? And things are going to start changing here. But we still live in this culture, the hookup culture. We still live in this this time when people are kind of hooking up with each other and it's, you know, just this free for all, whatever kind of thing. Although I think with some of the things that are going on in the world right now, some women are actually starting to be a lot smarter. And they're starting to say, hey, why don't I actually focus on building a real relationship and a real connection? And the reason that a lot of these guys are doing these things where they're saying that they just want a hookup buddy or they just want something casual or they're afraid of relationships or blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, all that nonsense that they've been talking to you about. I'm trying to rhyme here. Bippity bloppity, bippity blue, all the nonsense that they come at with you is the reason that they're doing that is because you're allowing them to, that women are allowing them to. You can hear it in some of these questions that the women have in the questions in our chat right now. They're like, yeah, he said he's not ready for a relationship. How long should I wait for him? Like what, you know, if he tells you that he's not ready for a relationship, one, that shouldn't even that it should be like, OK, cool. Good luck in life, right, because you're coming from a place of abundance and you have abundance because you're using my program, The Forever Woman. And so what you want is to create a system is you want to use a system that allows you to to get men that are the right kind of men pursuing you for the type of relationship that you want with them, high quality men that you're connecting with in the right way and you're allowing them to invest in you and create the relationship that you want. And you're using the tools that that that we talk about in The Forever Woman program to create a powerful, strong bond with him. So he he falls in love. He thinks you're the one he wants to commit to you. You know, you're the The Forever Woman, the woman that he meets, that he sees who's different than all the other women out there who are just hooking up right now and chasing men and doing all the work only to find out that they're being slotted in a friend with benefits casual situationship, but you want to be the woman that he pursues for a real relationship where he says this woman is amazing. She is beautiful. She's everything that I've always been looking for in my life. I would move mountains for her. I would go to the ends of the earth for her. I would do anything to be with her and create the amazing relationship that I want to have with her. I want to take her off the dating market. That is the kind of experience that you want to have with a man. And so I put together a program. It's called The Forever Woman. You can get it at TheForeverWomanFormula.com. Go and check it out. Go watch the video there. You can get my program after that for free if you want to stay a part of our community, you can stay a part of our community for two weeks for free. And you get to keep that program forever. And so it's this program has helped tons and tons and tons of women get married, get into great relationships, turn things around for themselves. It's helped women who are married, turn their relationships around. It's helped women who are single, turn themselves around and get into relationships that really, that where they're absolutely valued and cherished. And so my suggestion is you go and get that system, go over 10 times, start ingraining it in you. If you're in quarantine right now, if you're locked down right now, this is a great time to go and start learning about that stuff and start ingraining the thought systems and belief systems that you want to have that make you understand that you're really a valuable and amazing woman that deserves to have a great quality man pursue you for the kind of relationship that you want to have. And so I just want to thank everybody for being with me today. And you are the best part of our community. We have some of the most amazing, beautiful, smartest, most intelligent women in the entire world, a part of our community. So I just want to thank you so much for being here with us. Thank you so much for all the forever woman out there. Give a shout out to all the forever woman. Thank you so much for being here. And I will speak with you again soon and always remember you are worth it.