 The Kraft Foods Company presents The Great Gildersleeve. You're right here. The Great Gildersleeve starring Harold Perry. Brought to you by The Kraft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. Now let's see what Gildersleeve has on his mind. Arriving home rather late from the office, he finds dinner just about ready. Oh, good evening, my dear. Hello, Auntie. Pardon me here while I am. Let's go and eat. Well, Auntie, what is it? Yeah, what is it, Auntie? The invitation is some fool ball. Auntie, don't tear it up. Let me see it. Now throw it in the waste paper basket when you get through it. I want things near out here for Jane. The Summerfield Historical Society invites you to attend its yesteryear ball. Saturday evening, March 30th in the grand ballroom of the Summerfield Hotel. Come dressed as one of your ancestors. Oh, Auntie, what fun! Yeah. Admission $5 per couple. Proceed to provide fun for renovation of the old Aptead mansion. Auntie, aren't you going? I should say not. Oh, why? Make a monkey of myself in some clown suit? No thank you. But you're not supposed to wear a clown suit. You're supposed to go as an ancestor. In a monkey suit? Our ancestors were not monkeys, Leroy. Not recently. Who are they anyway? Who are who? Our ancestors. Our ancestors? Well, they were people. Good worthy people, I dare say. Some of them quite distinguished, no doubt. As a matter of fact, I don't know a great deal about them. France is always boasting about her ancestors. She claims they were all rich. I wish I knew more about mine. I'd like to put her in her place. It doesn't matter who your ancestors were, my dear, as long as you're something. Now, in my own case, you know me as your uncle. It probably does not occur to you that someday I shall become an ancestor. When? Let's not rush it. But when I am, when that time comes, I shall probably be remembered not for what I am, but for what I've accomplished. How do you mean? Well, you can go wash your hands, Leroy. Don't ask so many questions. You want to find out about your ancestors, Marjorie, right to Aunt Matilda. She's the family historian. She knows all about that nonsense. I don't put any stock in it myself. Let me this evening. How about a good gamer, Rummy? Marjorie? Gamer Rummy? I'll have to finish this letter. Letter? Who are you writing to? Aunt Matilda. Huh? Huh, give her my love. Leroy? I guess it's you and I then. Tell you what, I'll trim you at a game of checkers. Sorry. What a family. Everybody's got to do something. Well, I suppose I could read a book. Is there anything so remarkable about that? You never read books. I never get time, that's why. As a matter of fact, reading is my favorite pastime. Favorite pastime. Yes, sir, books are a man's best friend. It's a quiet evening with a good book. I don't know a better way to pass the time. I wonder what Leroy's doing. Read on. How can I read when you keep talking to me? Pick up and go out and get some air. That with you. As long as you're here, come in. Thanks. What are you mad at me about, Leroy? That's dry gone in the living room. Great. By George, there's nothing like an open fire. I was just telling the children. There's nothing I'd rather do than sit by an open fire and read. The book's around the shelves there. Help yourself. I mean when there's nothing else to do. Leela, why are you mad at me, huh? I've been sort of expecting I might hear from you, Throck Martin. But I haven't. Well, I've been terribly busy, Leela. I'm sorry. Judge Hook hasn't been too busy. He's invited me to go to the yesteryear ball with him. Leela, you're not going with that old goat. I haven't decided. I've got a number of invitations. I should probably go with the gentleman whose costume goes best with my own. Costume? What are you wearing? I'm going as my great-great-grandmother, Delacian. Your great-great- Oh, when she was a young girl, of course. Uh-huh. She was a great villain, you audience. Oh. She was heart French. Well, French ain't say that ought to be all right. Oh, you should just see the gown I'm wearing, Throck Martin. I hope you won't think it's too wicked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It has a hoop skirt now, and then I wear one of those beautiful white-tattered wigs and little black-fewed hats to make me fascinating. Well, I think I'll go to this ball. Oh, I love costume balls, don't you? Love them. Oh, you should see the judge's costume. He has the most wonderful odd day. The judge? What's he going to wear? A pair of horns and some goat-skin britches? Silly. You know that portrait that hangs over his fireplace? General Thaddeus, huh? He's a revolutionary general. Wouldn't it be perfect with my costume? Oh, don't go with him. Leela, go with me. Oh, I should have promised Throck Martin. Besides, I wouldn't want to go with somebody who's going to be dressed like a policeman or a water commissioner or something unromantic. Listen, I'll be as romantic as anybody there. Well, I don't know. Did you ever have any ancestors, Throck Martin? Did I ever have any ancestors? Did I ever have any ancestors? I don't know, but I'll find out. As your family started to hanker for something just a little different from the food you've been serving all winter long, then one answer to your problem is a rich golden cheese sauce made the easy way with smooth-melting Valvita. Those vegetables you are supposed to eat, they're different and delicious, topped with a glorious Valvita sauce. And Valvita's rich yet mild cheddar cheese flavor puts new life into Lenten main dishes, too. It's grand on fish, seafood, eggs, and macaroni. Even leftovers can be glamorized into smacking good main dishes with Valvita. What's more, this delicious cheese food supplies high-quality, complete protein and other valuable milk nutrients. And it's digestible as milk itself. Don't forget Valvita is swell for snacks and sandwiches, too. It slices and spreads to perfection. Just be sure to get the genuine Valvita for it's the cheese food of craft quality. Several days have passed. Gildersleeve has decided to stop in at the public library on his way home from the office. Here you are. You'll find what you want in this book. Thank you. Thank you. Ah, here. Alonzo Sherman Gildersleeve, 1875 to 1916. Merchant Trader, the importer of spices and guano from the South Sea Islands. Traveler, adventurer, and author of the book The Language of Papiti. I wonder how Alonzo learned the language. South Seas, eh? What does that mean? Heads and white man repeat after Hianton White Man Oh no, ma, c-co-ee-ye. Oh no, ma, c-co-ee-ye. That means I love you. Ehhhh. Thanks, honey. Say, how's running getting another coconut full of that papaya juice, eh? Can't seem to get out of this hammock. and light me a cigar before you go. Pretty native dear loves to wait on handsome white man. White man, stay there now. White man, don't go away. Native girl think white man crazy? Oh, this is the life. Oh, no, ma. Oh, oh, yeah. Pretty. I wonder if I should put on a neck tie for dinner. Guess not. Wouldn't look like anything without a shirt. Come back. What's up already? What service? See, pretty native girl bring beautiful flower for behind white man's ear. I've already got one behind the other ear. Oh, well, what do I care? I'm up to my ears and flowers. That's a joke, honey. White man loves. White man loves pretty native girl. I'll say. But tell me something. Don't you, um, don't your girls ever get cold? Here it is never cold. Oh, that's good. Here it is the lion of the Lotus Johnson. Here it is the lion of beautiful music and love. But hush, I think I hear a sound. A sound? In the distance. Perhaps it is the drum of my father. Pop out looking for you, is he? Listen. Sorry, Miss. My elbow, the book, sit off on the floor. Well, I guess old Alonzo did all right for himself. But those South Sea Island costars. I don't think I'd be much of a brass skirt. See what else there is here in this book. J. Whitcliffe, the other slave. 1854 to 1902, financier. Controlled banks, railways, seaship companies. Art collector and philanthropist. Didn't know I had financiers in my family. I wonder what became of Whitcliffe's money. Good afternoon, Snodgrass. How's the market today? The market's going crazy. Yes, I know that Snodgrass. Let me have the details. Well, I'm out of it. It's selling a $560 share. Buy another thousand shares, my cop. I must control them out of it. A thousand shares a day. Make a note of that, Snodgrass. How many times have I told you to make a note of everything I say? You must control them out of it. Any other developments? Wall Street is tottering. Your competitors are begging for money. Yeah, let them beg. Yes, let them beg. Let Wall Street potter. No matter what happens, J. Whitcliffe killed her slave. We'll come out on top. Anyone waiting to see me? Anyone of importance I mean, of course. You know my rules, Snodgrass. I won't see anybody that's worth less than a million in cash. Who is it? Mr. Jabez, our hooker would like to see you. Hooker? That old ghost. Hooker's the man I'm driving to the wall, Snodgrass. When I get through with Hooker, he won't have money to ride one of his own horse cars. Well, I... Make a note of that. Horse cars. Well, I believe Hooker wants to see you about borrowing some amalgamated stock. I won't loan him a single share. I'm driving him to the wall. Do you understand? Yes, dear. I'm telling you. Anybody else to see me? Your children are here waiting for their regular visit. Oh, yes, the children. Give him two minutes. What else? Mr. LeBeer? Mr. LeBeer? I'll see you right away, Snodgrass. No, better take the children first and get them out of the way. Yes, if you've got anything. Our children are probably with you now. Thank you. That'll be all, Snodgrass. Good afternoon, Coddy. Good afternoon, my dear. Good afternoon, takers. Good afternoon, LeRoy. You may be seated, children. Thank you, sir. Yes, yes. Now, tell me the progress of your studies with your tutor. There's my reverse. Thank you. During the past month, I've made rapid progress in French music and embroidery. Here is a handkerchief on which I have embroidered your initials. Well, thank you, my dear. Very pretty. Very pretty. Now, LeRoy. What have you to say to yourself? I have learned the multiplication table in the way you desired, Peter. Oh, let me hear a little of it. You may start with a second. Yes, sir. Seven, please. Here, nine times nine. Slip, my boy. Excellent. Excellent. Does my heart good to hear you recite those stirring figures? Have you had a hard day in Wall Street today, Father? Hard day? And my usual day of anxiety and care. I've forced several railroads into bankruptcy. I compelled six banks to close, owing millions to their depositors. By tomorrow, I'm hopeful that with the help of a wise providence, I shall be able to force the J.B.S. Booker to the wall. By joke, Peter, that's brand new. You're so clever, Father. And at the same time, so kind and good. Yes, yes. Well, roll on now, infants. Father has a business appointment with Miss LeVere. Ah! That will do, LeRoy. Hello, young children. Oh, of my father. That's great. Splendid. I don't know if he can stand Harvard or not. Do you? Josie. Take off your things and make yourself comfortable. I can't. I mustn't stay. Oh, come now. Give me a little hug. No. Things aren't the same with me. Oh, now, Josie Posey, you tell Anki Wonky what's the matter? I can't. I can't talk, baby. Talk with you this afternoon, Wickley. But Josie, what is it? Well, I've come to intercede with you for J.B.S. Booker. Booker, I'm going to wipe him out, Josie. I'm going to crush him like an egg shell. Please, Wickley. But why? I never wanted to tell you, but J.B.S. Booker is my father. Your father? By an early marriage. Beg of you is a beaten, tired old man. If I mean anything to you, Wickley, don't ruin my father. Be irony. But for years, I've wanted to get even with Booker. For years. But why? He cheated me out of a dollar and a half in 1872. Oh, can't you forgive and forget, Wickley? For Josie? Well... Forgive him. Let him keep his few millions. And then perhaps you and I... Josie? Perhaps we could go away somewhere. Just the two of us on your yacht. I'd like to, Josie, but I couldn't. My railway's my shipping. I have to watch them like a hawk. I'm afraid it's like I've always told you, Wickley. You're a slave to your own fortune. As long as you're rich, you can't be free to live like other men. To live... And love... She... Why not give away your fortune, Wickley? Give it away! Oh, it would be such a gracious gesture to humanity. All your life, you've skinned people, outsmarted them, driven them to ruin. People hate you, Wickley. They hate the very sound of your name. But Josie, business is business. Oh, Justin, if you gave your fortune to charity, everyone would love you. They'd worship the grounds you walk on. They'd bless your name forevermore. They would? Josie, you've opened my eyes. I'll do it. By George, nobody'll ever call J. Wickliffe Gillesley the skin-plant. Where's my checkbook? Here. To the J. Wickliffe Gillesley Foundation. 100 million. And no hundreds. J. Wickliffe Gillesley. Oh, Wickliffe, you're so good. You bet. And there's plenty more where that came from. Excuse me, we don't allow sleeping in the library. Who's sleeping? I was thinking. Well, try to think more quietly, please. Who does she think she's pushing around? This is a public library, and I'm a taxpayer. For all I know, this library was started on J. Wickliffe Gillesley's money. Well, there's no costume in that accessor. Nothing but a stiff collar and a stiff shirt. Let's see what else there is. George P. Gillesley, teacher. Samuel Mooc Gillesley, photographer. John Whedon Gillesley, taxidermist. Henry Morgan Gillesley. Henry Morgan. Say with that name, you must have been a pirate. Town clerk. Oswego, New Jersey. Shucks. Too bad about Henry. I'd look great with Leela in a pirate's costume. Boots, hot hat, cutlass. Pressure ship on the horizon. All in the mainsail. Heust, a forcelle. Stand by to fire. This is no laughing matter. I gave orders to spare no prisoners except the captain of the ship. Yes, and the other prisoners, the lady. Well, that's different. Show in the prisoners. Have the captain of the irons and the lady in whatever she's got on. And stand by to make him walk the plank when I give the word. Post some cockings. Aye, sir. The man of the ship. Yes. Blackjack Gillesley, that's me. Introducing me to the lady. She's too good for the likes of you. Oh, now, Horace, you'll be sensible. This is Captain Horace Hooker, Captain Gillesley. I am his sister. Pleased to make her acquaintance, ma'am. Just call me Blackjack. Now, see here, you scoundrel. I'll have you hanged as soon as we reach London. On what grounds, Captain Hooker? Are you aware that in sinking my ship, you've broken section 3, 8, Paragraph 7, Chapter 22 of the maritime law? You don't say. Ma'am, first of all... Horace, please, we're not in a position to... Meet me to handle this, my dear. Don't lure yourself by speaking to this scum. Don't you think he'll be kinder to us if we treat him as a gentleman? He's not a gentleman. He's a ruffian. I'm only a ruffian in a business way, Captain. But with ladies, I'm a different man. Believe me. Well... Now, if we can be friendly about this, I'll treat your brother right. And I'll treat you right. What do you say? Well, my dear, he's a devil. But he's such a hide-and-seek devil. And, after all, if it's the only way, I'm sure he'd behave like a gentleman. Captain Gilda's lead, if I can trust you to be a gentleman, we accept your offer. Fair enough. Eh, Bolson? Be right there. Show Captain Hooker to his quarters, Bolson. What? You heard me. I told you where to put him five minutes ago. Oh, you need Captain Hooker. I'll take you right where you're going. I'm sure you'll be comfortable, Captain. Very quiet there. Run along, Horace. Don't worry about me. Very well. Mercy, Captain Gilda's lead. All of a sudden, I'm nervous. Should I be? Certainly not. But it's there to be afraid of. Why, I wouldn't hurt one of those beautiful yellow hairs on your pretty little head. Promise? I promise. Promise? A splash? Oh, really, it was nothing. I was nervous playing about the ship. Very common in these southern waters. There's nothing to be nervous about. Oh, I... I do so want to trust you. Well, go ahead. I must say your cabin is awfully attractive. So are you. You're from London, you say, ma'am? Yes. London. Mm. What's your name, my dear? Amber. Amber? I'll chop off my head and call me Charlie. I'm sorry, sir, but we cannot allow you to sleep in here. Amber? Wake up. Wake up. No. So far I can't budge. Quit hitting me. Believe me. My dear sir, you've been asleep for two hours. Do you realize that it's after eight o'clock? Well, it serves your right for having such dull books here. Forks are starboard. Marjorie! This is only raw. You too, my dear. I have something to tell you. I just spent a very interesting and profitable few hours in the library. That's the reason I didn't get home to dinner. What in the world were you doing in the library? Looking up the history of the Gilleslead family, few children asked the other day about your ancestors. I can tell you now that you have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you can hold up your heads with the best of them. Because the Gillesleads, it turns out, have always been a particularly distinguished family. For instance, it might interest you to know that as far back as 1736, why are you children looking at each other like that? Shall we tell him, Lord? You tell him. What's this all about? I got a letter today from Aunt Matilda. You remember? You said she knew all about the family history. Oh, yes. She's always been a bug on that stuff. I thought you'd be hearing from her. Great old girl, Aunt Matilda. What'd she say? You better read her letter. Here. Oh, dear Marjorie. The writing's a little shaky. She must be nearly 90 by now. Dear Marjorie, I'm only too glad to tell you what I know about the Gilleslead side of your family. Our forefathers settled originally in eastern Pennsylvania. It may surprise you to know, if your uncle has not already told you, that our name is not really Gilleslead. What? We are descended, all of us, from a butcher named Gouldenslob who changed his name. Gouldenslob? A butcher. Don't tell me I got to go to the yesteryear ball in a white apron and a straw hat. Hee. For many of us, the war is over, but not for the American Red Cross and our boys and girls still overseas and in our hospitals. This month, the Red Cross is asking of the people of America $100 million to bring a bit of home to our men in breakfast garden, Paris, Okinawa, Tokyo, and the many tiny Pacific islands. Now, this is a gigantic job. So is bringing relief and cheer to our 400,000 wounded in military hospitals throughout the land. There are so many other activities of the Red Cross that to mention them would only take the time the craft people would like to use to urge you to dig down deep during March and help the Red Cross through to a smashing victory for our boys and girls everywhere. For disaster relief, for victims of war, for hospital care, club mobiles, overseas clubs, veterans family relief, all these vital projects of the Red Cross at home and abroad are as American as the Bill of Rights. So let's do it the American way. Give your Red Cross elicitor every dollar you can spare and you'll be giving to your very own both here and overseas. The Great Gilder Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. Lee Roy, Marjorie and Birdie are played by Walter Tetley, Louise Erickson and Lillian Randolph. Shirley Mitchell plays Leela Ransom, Judge Hooker is Earl Ross and Richard LeGrand plays Mr. Pepe. This is John Lang speaking for The Craft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Sleeve. Ladies, here's how to give humdrum meals a sparkling flavor lift. Simply add some tangy, golden, craft salad mustard to your family's favorite foods. Craft salad mustard adds a delightful flavor tang to sausage meats. With those cream sauces, you pour over hot-cooked vegetables and fish. Gives an appetizing lift to egg and cheese dishes. And here's another great favorite with lovers of good mustard. It's the craft mustard with snappy, horseradish added. That's two kinds then you'll want to buy. Craft horseradish mustard and tangy, golden, craft salad mustard.