 I come to you now in the quietness to die and sad songs. It'll be the MP3, yeah. We first sent you your CD when we finally got it down to you and take it to you. We just received it and oh, just, it was like us getting a Christmas present. It's been less, less for years. This goes on and on. Yeah, it's beautiful. I was thinking today, we'll see how the day unfolds, but we might even have some, yeah, some music meditations in here. Just, it helps with transfer of the training and with all these deep experiences everyone's going into. And, yeah, such a, we're just so grateful for Jacob and Rhea's music. It's just been such a gift to our whole community and I know to the world. Is there any CD available? Can people get that online or how is it? I think it can still be found on something called CDbaby.com. Okay. You can buy it there. CDbaby.com. Yeah, I thought I had some copies at home, actually, but I found out that they were printed, so there's no songs for them. I have the cover though, but not so much. Okay. That's good, just to know. That's good. I hope people can enjoy it as much as we have. And then I hope it keeps getting reprinted. I think that's what happens with certain books and CDs. They just have such an impact that they just, by popular demand, they get reprinted. And it's mystical, so it's not like, we're not talking like mainstream music, but it's very devotional and very, very mystical. And just, yeah, it's touched all of us, our community. People know that I start singing a few lines and people in the band start singing and long they know all the lyrics. And I said, it's been a year. Okay. Well, that was a very, very deep movie last night. It was kind of a pull the rug out from under your stalemates in your mind. Any kind of, you know, where you can get into these kind of stuck points. And it could even be with a spiritual practice sometimes, it could be thinking you know something about your practice and the world and the course and everything. And then you get into these deep experiences. I mean, it's really taking you towards mysticism and it's good. It's just a good, sometimes it's just a good jump start for authenticity and transparency in your spiritual journey. Because, yeah, in terms of mysticism, it's over the centuries there's only been handfuls of people that really seem to be souls of diving down into that deep state of transcendence. And those oftentimes get called mystics and saints. They write about their dark nights and they write about the intensity and the resistance there is to opening up to that depth because this whole world, this whole cosmos of linear time was made to guard against that experience. And when you start to tap on the door, the ego is... I guess when you feel that much love, the ego not only goes from suspicious to vicious but it goes into a tirade, actually. Tire? What's it? Protests. It's like a protest of rage. It's right up there with viciousness. And I think that's the key on the spiritual journey is you have to have such allowance and permission to let yourself go through that to let whatever the dark storms are, the under clouds form to let the storms come and let them pass. You know, you don't really have to do anything to those feelings you just have to let them move through. And in my life, in the parable of David, it was more going off to the woods having a little travel trailer in the woods or a little tiny house now in the middle of nowhere, seemingly. Because there was so much rage that had to come up and so much darkness that it just felt like it was better to do it out a way in nature than it was around people because people can tend to interpret that you're losing your mind. You're really finding it, but everything in this world is upside down and backwards so it appears that you could be losing your sanity. You're actually coming inward to sanity and the ego interprets that as insane because the ego doesn't want you in there. There's even a subsection in the chorus called the fear to look within and it's really a title that, even that subtitle, subsection explains how the ego doesn't want you to go there because it's fear of loss. It's fear of loss of the world, loss of self, loss of personality, loss of everything that it holds dear. And underneath all that, the tirades, the protests and the viciousness is basically the belief in sacrifice. It's kind of funny for me working with the chorus for a quarter of a century because I go to chorus groups and I hear people in the chorus groups talking about oh, those fundamentalist Christians. Those fundamentalist Christians. The chorus students are above the fundamentalist Christians. We are more metaphysically advanced. We found the truth. We've got it, they don't. It's the same, we've got it, they don't game and everything and yet if you've got anything on fundamentalist Christians, anything stirring in your mind, it's just reflecting that there's still an investment in the belief in sacrifice. Because that's oftentimes what's projected off to fundamentalist Christians is they believe that Jesus died for our sins and paid the ultimate price, paid the ransom, sacrificial blood in the lamb and all this stuff and people just are like, ugh, they don't even like to be around it. But the reason they don't like to be around it is because they still believe in it. They actually still believe that too. And so even New Thought teachings, Christian Science, Religious Science, Rudolf Steiner, I put him right in all the great New Thought thinkers. There's just a whole bunch of them, Ernest Holmes and so on and so forth. But when people have difficulties around sickness or around relationships or whatever, it's not really about those things. It's really the belief in sacrifice is still rooted down there and that's what has to be seen as impossible. Because as long as you believe it's a sacrifice to give up this world or it's a sacrifice to give up the good things of this world, you still believe in sacrifice, no doubt. And you'll hit that deep emotion and those deep rage feelings just like everyone does when they get down deep enough. They hit the core root. So let's just talk a little bit about sacrifice because it's not the problem of the fundamentalist Christians. They've got no problem at all. Not at all. They're just projections of a belief. It's this idea that you can make something other than God. You can invent, you can make fiction, you can kind of come up with this substitute for divine love and oneness. And then that's the first step, which is part of the belief that you can create yourself. And then once you seem to have established this world of time and space, basically the ego will be on a spiritual temper tantrum wanting God to grant reality to the illusion. And so basically all this rage that's been playing out over millennium that's acted out in all kinds of ways in terms of wars and pestilence and suicides and group suicides and all kinds of things. That's just all the ego's temper tantrum at God. So when you have anger that comes up and you have rage that comes up and everything, even though it's startling and you may want to shut it down or cover it over or push it away, it's actually not your anger. It's not yours. It's not ours. It's the ego's. The ego is raging at God saying, grant me my dream world. Grant reality to illusions. Grant eternity to time. Come on. It's almost like a waiting game. The ego is waiting God out. How kids do sometime with parents, just wait it out. I'm going to get what I want. It's going to play the waiting game. They'll give in at some point. I'll wear them down. I'll wear them down over time. The ego's trying to wear God down over time and hope that it throws enough tantrums. Why do kids throw temper tantrums? Because they want something. That's good. The mother's and father's to explain where he is going. Let's hear those words. The translations are filtering in. Oh, yeah. Do they have temper tantrums in Denmark? Yes. Or is everyone well behaved? It's the ego's rage at God. The ego's wanting to have some recognition. It wants to be recognized. It wants its world of linear time and space to be recognized. But it's always important to remember that those aren't your emotions. Those aren't our emotions. Because we aren't the ego. But when we identify with the ego, we experience its emotions. You see, what the forgiveness is all about is just identifying from the ego. Because as long as you identify with it, it's almost like in that movie Avatar where they go into those like, like crypts almost like, and then they take on the avatar bodies and move with these bigger avatar bodies on this avatar planet and so on and so forth. If you give your mind over to the ego, then you experience its emotions. And the best thing to do, of course, the only thing to do is detach from the ego and become completely disidentified from the ego. So in A Course in Miracles, Jesus says, you made the ego by believing in it and you can dispel it by withdrawing your belief from it. And that's what the point of the movie was last night, was starting to get a clue that there's something amiss, which our main characters, you and McGregor and Scarlett Johansson, that they started to see something was amiss in their world. Something wasn't quite right and then they discovered that their lives and their world and everything that they thought was true was not actually the way things were and then they seemed to get out of that environment only to meet their sponsors, which was a pretty rocky experience as well. And then realizing they weren't going to find any release from their sponsors, which was just the ones that were paying for their artificial lives, they actually had to go back into the core of the beast and dismantle the whole thing. Just shut it down, that's what he said. I think if I could get in there, I could shut it down. It's really like the original Star Wars series with Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, Princess Leia. I actually got to meet Princess Leia. She lives in Finland. I got to meet the real Princess Leia when I was over there. She was in the might and the glory of God. The Princess Leia of George Lucas was nothing. I would do gatherings and she would look out of my audience and put her hand up and just kind of stare at the people that are Finland like, come forth now. With your questions, don't be shy. And if they wouldn't have anything for like 30 seconds, she would then look somebody right in the eye and say, now you speak on this. Maybe, okay. I should always travel with Princess Leia. That's what I'm coming to see. I think it could speed up the gatherings, it could speed up the awakening. If I just had the princess there with her arm going up and everyone hushing in reverence, trembling a little, but she stares at all of them and then draws it out of them. It was quite an experience. But Star Wars, if you'll remember, there's one Star Wars where Luke has to go into the Death Star. Because Darth Vader always had this, you know, this kind of sound and we always mask and it was always black and kind of a spooky character. But he lived in the Death Star. The Death Star was massive. Because we were talking about, like, it's a whole system. It's not one person. There's not a my ego or one character, one evil character. It's a whole system. And this Death Star was massive. And Luke had to go inside the Death Star and then get in there in this massive Death Star and then he had to find a way to get to the power source and make a direct hit on the power source to knock it out. And he got closer and closer and closer, you might remember, in that movie. And then Obi-Wan Kenobi said, use the force, use the force. Don't rely on the instrument panels. He had to literally close his eyes and he couldn't even use all this technology, all his aircraft and his weapons and everything. He had to basically go inside to use the force to make a direct hit on the power plant of the Death Star. That's, in Course Miracles terms, that's atonement. You're going in towards the atonement to make a direct hit on the ego. And the atonement is a direct hit. The atonement is that the separation never happened. Now that's going to take you into innocence. But that's all that will take you into innocence. There's not any kind of secondary measures you can use. You have to have a direct hit. And you have to be 100% intuitive to go in there because there was one problem and that problem has already been corrected. And the Holy Spirit is that correction. So the atonement is the answer. So, yeah, I think today we would start in just taking in some of the reactions and the things that came up, you know, after the movie, during, probably during and after the movie so we can kind of join together with the spirit and take a closer look at that. And yeah, Francis and Kirsten shared a bit about the groups and Jason. If we had to summarize some of the things that came up into like a theme, what would be a good starting point? I think awareness of a meaninglessness is coming up into awareness. And awareness that, of the split in the mind that yes, there's awareness of almost a feeling of death. Like, that life and living in this world is just not really it. And almost thinking of death as the body is a way out. But knowing that's not really the way out. So just awareness of the meaninglessness but also awareness of the desire to wake up and the desire to still hold onto the world. Even though there's a meaninglessness with it still feeling a value with it and then going, okay, what do I do with that? And then we explored a little bit of how, you know, truly life is awareness of the spirit and being sourced and then how the spirit will use the world, use backdrops in the world to support commitment because seeing that split is being aware of the lack of commitment. I'm not fully committed to awakening because I still want the world but I'm not committed to the world either. And even something like a diet or something or a relationship seeing that there's still a little bit of lack of commitment in everything. This feeling of the lack of commitment is part of the meaninglessness, not feeling the whole of going for it. So then there was a little bit of exploration of how the spirit can use backdrops in the world like a relationship commitment or something for mind training, a dietary commitment to loosen the mind from identification with the ego and deepen the commitment and using it for seeing the beliefs in the mind like if it was around food seeing the belief in healthy food versus unhealthy food and still wanting to maintain the body with food but using it in a conscious way and then just seeing the mind slip into oh good, I could still hold on to the world in organic food and wanting to look after the world and can I bring the course into it? So just seeing how quickly the mind would want to be slipped into so could I then still be at least in the world and would that be okay as part of the spiritual journey? And then coming back to seeing oh no, that is a decision for awakening that I have to make now to go for it and then trust that somehow the spirit will use the willingness to keep listening the mind from identification and just allowing the meaninglessness not wanting to try to skip too quickly into feeling okay so just allow, really allow to almost feel just a gratitude for the awareness I think it's a good step Yeah, in our group I think the experience is more than experience instead of the specific I think it's, you know, as an extension of the movie last night something is really in the move and there is a deep appreciation of the mind being something that has been rewired so to speak but yet at the same time there's another force call it fear or call it rage or whatever it is it's just, I think it's just a crack openness really that's what it is it is more energetic and it's more like a feeling and the thoughts can be expressed at the surface level about different specifics but that's what we're allowing them to come up and flush up but I can see it's just like this energy something is really shifting in the mind and there is a crack openness and it can feel a little strange or uncomfortable but it's a shared feeling of some kind of release and some kind of shift that's going on that's good so it's, I think it gives us a context for this idea that what the Course in Miracles and what true spirituality is offering us is a re-translation of the world I think that's a very helpful word re-translation because when we say like in lesson 128 the world I see holds nothing that I want and then in lesson 129 beyond this world as a world I want really that's what's coming in through the glory through the grace of God is a re-translated world and re-translation doesn't really imply sacrifice it's just, it's a shift from a linear perception into what we call sometimes a vertical perception or a simultaneous perception which is closer to eternity you could say the vertical it's coming into the now it's coming into a unified perception of the world true perception, the happy dream, the real world it's, Jesus calls it by different names but it's a re-translation so let's talk a little bit about that re-translation I talked yesterday about going from an upside down world to a right side up world or wrong-mindedness to right-mindedness but what's important about this re-translation one thing you can remember that will give you it will comfort your heart during the switch the turnaround is that the Holy Spirit can use everything that the ego made so even though this linear world was made as an attack upon God a place where God can enter or not even though it was made as a defense against love even though it was made in hate we're told by Jesus the world was made in hate the body was made in hate we can re-translate with the Holy Spirit everything can be re-translated which means that during the re-translation everything can be used by the Holy Spirit everything without exception everything that the ego made can be used now if we had to summarize everything that the ego made we could say the ego made time because there's no time in eternity so that's the shortest word I think we can come up with as far as a metaphor the ego made time and the Holy Spirit uses time to undo the belief in time so it's not that the Holy Spirit will use anything that the ego made to keep what the ego made it will use what the ego made to undo the belief in what the ego made the Holy Spirit uses time to show that there is no time the Holy Spirit uses body issues to show that there are no body issues the Holy Spirit uses cravings to show that there are no cravings Spirit uses attractions to show that there are no attractions. The Holy Spirit will use the law of attraction to ultimately show you that there is no such thing as attraction. So that's what's about Kim. How do the Holy Spirit use attraction in order to show that there's no attraction? Well, we can give you a lot of examples from our experiences in our parables and I would say that it's almost like the things that the ego was attracted to through the symbolic scripture of David. It was like it was like nothing will be ripped away from you. It was this feeling like I call them whims. I had to come up with a name. It wasn't in the Course, but I call them like whims. Like little wishes of things that still were preferred and attracted in the world. Because if the belief in sacrifice is still down there in the root and you start to go through this journey where you start to perceive that things are literally being taken away from you and that the world is literally the world as you thought you knew it starts to dismantle and everything. If it goes too rapid or the mind interprets that it's losing something that's actually losing something then it induces like a panic and a panic and a fear and the panic never is helpful. The panic is like the ego is screaming. Stop this. Stop this now. This is terrible. This whole direction is terrible. So we have lots and lots of examples about how seemingly in our parable or our travels and doing all these workshops and seminars and retreats and everything how things would come in. Music, and I know with Kirsten in the early years she came from New Zealand and so water was coming in. What are some of the things? Water, swimming pools, ice cream, the big one. In surprising ways that they show you that it's the spirit providing it. So it was symbolic of, so when I travelled with David, every where we went there was a swimming pool or a beach who were invited to places near the ocean and every time we would get there I would dive into the water and just because my mind I was going through such a transformation we're dealing with a lot of ego thoughts and intensity and as soon as I would dive into the water I would feel this cool silence and I feel so relieved and loved by the spirit and David see it after a few weeks he's like wow never seen so much water and I could just feel it was the spirits just love and I also loved ice cream and so everywhere we went it was like ice cream was showing over and over and over again and I could feel it was just like Jesus saying I love you you're doing so well. Have an ice cream, it felt very sweet and showing me no it's not a sacrifice. So I wasn't going out they're trying to get the ice creams or make the swimming pools happen but they were just provided. Spontaneously too where we you know we absolutely were not seeking it for ice cream or I was had a no thought of my mind of water but it was just showing up there was a time I think I remember when we went to we were in some town in Wisconsin and something was stirring first we went out for a walk something and she just was not herself she just felt real funky that day and you know just disoriented a bit disturbed really disturbed and we're walking along and and so I just kind of just had the prayer going in my mind you know is is there anything Jesus that you know would be helpful here and Jesus said take her immediately to Dairy Queen which is an ice cream place it has all these different kinds of you know jimmies and chocolates and all kinds of things just specializes in massive amount of ice cream ice cream treats and so I took her hand we walked straight over there we walked into the Dairy Queen and nobody was there but the guy who was behind the counter with his little red Dairy Queen hat on he was all excited it looked like he was like he's new in his job and he's waiting for a customer to come in it was all we walked in the door it was all puffed up like a bird gets puffed up it was so excited can I help you it was like this whole life dependent on serving us some ice cream and I went up to him and I said listen she's from New Zealand she's never had anything from Dairy Queen ever really wow so then he's like super puffed up now I said give her the show show you know it's like going through all the blizzards and all these different kinds of treats took you a few minutes to actually go through because he was so grateful that he had the opportunity to and then of course she ordered what he fixed it with all the care and love we were the only two people in there and cursed this attitude and everything just turned into the miracle through the ice cream you know it's it's this is what we mean by miracles are involuntary and and you don't know what's most helpful you really don't know what's most helpful but if you're in that place of prayer that's an example of how the spirit can use a symbol that's really attractive ice cream was very attractive and and so if that happens not just once or twice but as I've traveled you know it's down in Columbia or South America they would say do you do you like I learned the name actually I don't know many Spanish words but I learned a lot of us because that's ice cream and as soon as I say a lot of us they say do you like a lot of us and I say see and then oh my gosh you know it would be as all these ice cream encounters that would come because people have all this love in their heart and they want to express it in some way and that's an inroads for them so this is an example of how how the Holy Spirit uses ego preferences as part of the plan of extending to have this deep connection happen and without reinforcing reinforcing the preference you know it was the key thing was in our experiences we were never thinking about we were not trying to like the secrets you know to manifest it to hold it in mind to think of it you know to make it happen whatever there was none of that going on at all it just was given as part of the backdrop it's kind of a way from the spirit almost like giving you a kiss saying thank you so much for your willingness to open up and so that's that is the how it and it just happens over and over and over and over you you don't have any conscious awareness of it you're delighted but it's almost like being pleasantly surprised every single time that you get a symbol like that because you didn't do anything to make it happen you didn't pray for it yeah yeah I was happy before I even had the first spoonful of ice cream it was just the love you could feel the love behind it yeah they really get used we were going on a road trip one time and Jason and Jenny and I and we started driving up the freeway and I just keep having a strong feeling to stop and get a cappuccino and I was like that's gotta be the ego we're just getting going we just stopped and got gas at the gas station and we were on the road and I was like no that's the ego that's the ego don't come even say it how embarrassing I'm supposed to be enlightened and I'm hearing something like cappuccino so I didn't share the thought so we drove up the road for like an hour and a half and then I still keep hearing stop stop and I've noticed these coffee shops right along the highway and then after an hour and a half we realized we needed a map and so we stopped and went into the store and Jason went to grab his wallet and he'd left his wallet back at the gas station and that prompt to stop and get a cappuccino which came two minutes after we got in the car was the spirit's communication through an ego preference saying stop get a cappuccino and then we would have noticed immediately so I loved noticing that because all of the doubt thoughts in my mind we're like oh is he going it's just you know deny repress the thoughts so I shared the thought okay spirit I trust that even this is going to get used I'm expecting miracles we can't have the outcome of this being a mistake so we drove back to the gas station and we started from there we were in prayer I hadn't been tuned and then we were driving up the highway just in prayer using it all for joining driving slowly and then I just said stop all over we pulled over on the side of the highway and we looked and Jason's wallet was there at the gas station he put it on top of the car and we driven out of the gas station and it got as far as the highway and it got blown off the car and it was there on the side of the highway it was run over and been run over by several cars so it was a bit beaten up but he found the wallet he opened it up and most of the money was missing a couple of the credit cards so we just went into prayer okay what do we do just felt just walk up the side of the highway so we walked up the side of the highway like what is there we're like we found in the grass on the side of the highway like these $100 bill and a $50 bill in between it was the celebration of the miracle it's been walking up the side of the highway yeah it was just finding everything that had been missing even down to the final thing that he was really worried about he'd written like the pin number to a credit card on a little teeny piece of paper and had left it in his wallet and we were walking up their own looking and he could see in the wind blowing about like this little tiny piece of paper with a pin number in it so everything that we thought we'd lost was found and it was this backdrop for joining in prayer for the three of us that we really needed actually because we'd had a lot of healing going on between the three of us a lot of projection a lot of judgment and this one experience was unified us so deeply in prayer that we were set in for the rest of the trip you can see how impactful because if that happened as kind of a kind of a rare rare rare thing in your life you could you could say well that was a miracle and you could just say I'll remember that as an example but when these kind of things start happening frequently in your consciousness frequently in your awareness and this is what the value of has been for me of the road trips many many road trips you know around and around and around and around the world it's just a backdrop to be very fluid very spontaneous and let go and let go and even though I've had many many different travel companions and taken many many different trips those seem like out of pattern kind of experiences but when they happen to you frequently and when they happen to you on a daily basis it's quite impactful on your mind you can imagine having those kind of magical fairytale quality things happening more and more and more and more as you become more consistently miracle minded showing you that you're not in charge showing you that you're perfectly taken care of even if you're clueless and you forget things you drop things you do all the things that you would blame yourself for and the spirit Jesus just uses it as another way to show you I'm there I'm there for you I've got your back you are totally provided for and you can be I say clueless and cared for and when somebody one time said that doesn't sound good at all clueless I said don't forget the cared for part you have to not know you have to actually cultivate not knowing what's thinking that you know what's in your own best interest so the spirit can show you that it's all taken care of and another one that's coming to mind one of my earlier travels was when I was traveling with Kathy Martin and Resta Burnham and we had just driven from Cincinnati our little peace house through Columbus stopped there for lunch and then driven across over I think to West Virginia or heading for Pennsylvania and so forth and we pulled into a gas station and I filled up the gas and I went in to go and use the restroom when I came back Kathy and Resta just had these long said very serious looks on their faces and I said what's up and Resta said I lost my purse so this is an example of you know lost my wallet lost my purse these kind of things in the world bring up a lot of fear for the ego because the wallet and the purse have all this private information credit cards and all kinds of things that you just don't want stolen steal my steal the shoe off my foot but don't steal the purse of the wallet because those there's so much safety and security projected onto these objects just like money these are the containers of the money and the money so exchangeable for so many things that it's an artificial value system that the ego has set up but this is where the healing occurs where you've got the most investment so they were like they looked at me Resta and Kathy said it's gone the purse the purse is gone I don't know where it is where I left it and I had it with me when we left on the trip and I just don't know where it is and so so they're telling me this in the car and I just said well before we get on the road let's just pull over to the side of the gas station and pray so we pulled over to pray and we were there and we were all praying and then Resta who was her purse was lost she just burst into laughter and started laughing and laughing and laughing I said okay what's happening she said well Jesus just appeared to me in my mind and he's wearing my green purse Jesus is wearing the purse I said okay that's a very strong symbol when Jesus has a shoulder strap on and a green purse and after you've just lost the purse with all this stuff and she's like I feel strangely very good about this he's got a smile on his face and he's wearing a green purse on his shoulder so I said okay let's just pray a little more and I said is there anything we're to do and she said I don't think so I don't know there's nothing I said hmm I'm hearing that you're to call your husband and I think this was a time where she was feeling a real distance from her husband going through a divorce or getting ready to go through a divorce and I said I'm hearing that you should call your husband and tell him you know she lost the purse and so on and so forth and she's oh please oh I just hate to thought of that just because you know he's always saying things like I lose things he's degrading to me and this is oh my God it's the worst thing to call him and they're getting ready to go through a divorce and it's just more it's just kind of rubbing in my face and it's just oh and I said well you have so much resistance to it I feel you're to call so she finally said okay this is it so she called and told him what had happened turns out we continued on to the east coast of the United States and someone had found the purse at a Wendy's restaurant that we had stopped at picked it up kept it looked through all of her information and found the contact number of her house in Cincinnati which was essential called spoke to her husband and eventually the purse was returned with everything in it it was just it was pristinely brought back and we the whole trip unfolded very miraculously it was just a symbol when Jesus was wearing the purse like I've got it go about your miracle working functions and give your joy away shine your light don't even take a thought for this lost purse those kind of out of pattern kind of experiences are just witnesses to the mind of how safe and loved and secure you are not by your past learning but by your trust and faith and following the spirit and there's so many that's why we share a lot of these parables and have shared them for many many many years it's because there you need to be convinced that you don't have to just try to live by the laws of the world and do the best you can and give Jesus some lip service every once in a while or say ooh there's a miracle that comes every so often and you want to tell everybody about it you know it's it's meant to show you that miracles are natural when they do not occur something has gone wrong and that you can live in a miraculous state of mind as if you're carried along and even when you seem to make what the ego would call mistakes the Holy Spirit doesn't see it that way at all those are just opportunities to convince you of the love of God that's what a mistake as the ego judges it is just a big opportunity for the Holy Spirit to turn it around to show you oh you are safe you are cared for you're perfectly sustained that's what lesson number 50 is in the workbook I am sustained by the love of God and he talks about all the ways in that lesson that you believe you are sustained by everything but the love of God clothing, money, knowing the right people, being liked, you know, pills he goes on he's very specific in that lesson and also lesson 76 just so you have a context to understand that your past learning will never make you secure but your faith and trust in the Holy Spirit will sustain you in every situation while you believe the situations and every circumstance and that's that's what the whole thing's about you have to be convinced so even if you have fear arising and even if there's there's a panic or there's you feel your world's falling apart all that is really is an opportunity to be convinced by the Spirit nothing's really going wrong nothing ever is going wrong either it's all just opportunities for this convincing and from what was shared this morning what Francis was sharing about the fear that can arise and what Chris was sharing too about the meaninglessness that you know in this world we have you know these Freddy Pooger movies and all this stuff about Friday the 13th is all this horror stuff around Friday the 13th well Jesus has his own 13th it's lesson number 13 he drops his atomic bomb of 365 lessons he drops his atomic bomb on the ego in lesson number 13 Jesus is 13th the ego makes up its own scary 13th Friday the 13th Jesus is like alright I'll drop the bomb on you on the 13th you'll remember that one you'll remember that lesson a meaningless world and genders fear you know it's the first lesson in the workbook where Jesus decides to make a direct cause and effect relationship between fear and what's what's causing the fear it's the first lesson in the workbook where he boom he lays it out he gives you a direct cause effect relationship with fear he says it's not a violent world it's not a chaotic world that engenders fear it's not what you perceive on the surface of consciousness you know a world of scarcity or lack none of that engenders fear it's actually a meaningless world that engenders fear there's nothing that the ego is more afraid of than meaninglessness more nothing is more frightening to it than meaninglessness if you want to really scoop the ego out of its hiding place like it's a little spider in the well and you want to shine a light down there a big light and the little spider moves around to try to get away from the light it's afraid of meaninglessness and that's because when the slate is clean when you start to let go of the meanings of the world you'll see that the spirit will come rushing in to give a new meaning to the world that's what the retranslation is the Holy Spirit will give a brand new meaning to the whole world it's a beautiful meaning it's the real world it's the happy dream it's the correction and the ego doesn't want that to happen so whenever there's a sense of meaninglessness the ego tries to thrust and throw meaning where there is none it's trying to tell you be afraid watch out you know all this fear tactics come when you start to let go of thinking there's a meaning in the world so that's what I heard today in some of the groups after that movie last night that there was meaninglessness coming up intense meaninglessness that's actually you're getting closer to the release point because the ego really gets stirred up by meaninglessness now let's just follow lesson 13 now Jesus is Friday the 13th of the ego it's a meaningless world and gender's fear and then if you read down in the lesson he drops the atomic bomb always down in the lesson where he makes his first cause effect connection and the ego doesn't like it and it doesn't want to hear it and it's like a major bomb a meaningless world and gender's fear because I think I am in competition with God oh oh why have those words never been written on the planet before oh oh he goes like a little spider it's been caught that's where the fear is coming in that's where the rage comes up that's where the all the shame and the pain and the guilt come in a meaningless world and gender's fear because I think I'm in competition with God and Jesus either says you know you know you you may not believe this maybe you may be uncomfortable with this he even follows it up like listen if you're stirred up by what I just dropped it's yeah it's to be expected I've just dropped a big one and I've just laid out the first direct cause and effect relationship in this workbook the reason you're fearful is because you believe you're in competition with God he's taking what he did in the text talking about the authority problem and he's saying oh no it's not about authority figures parents judges police officers military officers generals those aren't it those aren't the authority figures you're afraid of it's a question in your own mind of holding on to this offer ship thing where the ego wants to be right about inventing itself and inventing the world and God created you as spirit and God creates only in spirit and so when you try to invent apart from the way God creates you believe you are in competition with God so when we watch a deep movie like that and a very deep sense of meaningless comes up and you watch your mind go like this you're getting all stirred up from that movie it's because the meaninglessness is getting stirred up and it's because all the distractions for a moment stop and all this chasing idols stop and you just come down to this point and you face the utter fear of meaninglessness then you're close you're getting close to healing you're actually right on the verge of healing if you can do like when person said just let it move through don't try to defend against it don't try to distract away don't try to move away from it or anything like this let it move through stay there with the Holy Spirit let those clouds move because then the Holy Spirit can give you a new meaning for the entire cosmos but not until you are willing to let this old thing pass away pass through move through you this is where atonement just seems scary because the ego is saying you're going to be struck dead God's going to punish you it's used all this crazy threats you know to say don't stand there and some of you have heard this from other teachers you know like Gangaji's anybody heard of Gangaji where she'll just say Gangaji G-A-N-G-A-G-J-I can't spell A-J-I she Gangaji wanted her favorite teaching is stop Gangaji's that stop moment that she's talking about is the moment I'm talking about when when that fear that sense of meanlessness comes up and and he wants to rush in with distractions rush in with justifications rush in with intellectual ideas rush in with something anything busy yourself you know like Mary and Martha's story in the Bible you know where Jesus is teaching and Martha's so anxious about him teaching she's got to run into the kitchen and spend all the time cooking in kitchen while Jesus is teaching because it's too too much anxiety there so and Mary sits there at his feet listening she's in the stomach she's at the Gangaji stuff yeah another reason that the ego use another defense mechanism the ego use to stop the energy from flowing through and be released is to conclude of what I am afraid of I am afraid of losing this I'm afraid of being alone I'm afraid it's like using this so that you will start to solve and start to engage your mind your mind in a specific situation or in a specific direction instead of just be there and be open and allow the new meaning to come in the fact is as what we're talking about today is whatever you are afraid of is not something you can understand it's something so pushed away from your awareness you are afraid of losing the meaning of this world you're not really afraid of losing anything in this world you're not really afraid of any of the human that we talk about being alone being not taken care of it's not the real reason that you're afraid of but every time when this intensity comes up there is a temptation to just conclude this is my emotion this is the reason this is where I'm at then how do I find a solution and you can see that there's just no solution that can be found there the only the only thing we can do is please remove the conclusions just to be able to say I don't know what I'm afraid of and I don't even know that what this is sometimes it's agitation there could be some super sensitivity coming up around certain things but just knowing that when this kind of shift happening happens it happens at a very very deep unconscious level so flush up a lot of things that doesn't even make sense to the logical mind it doesn't make sense why you suddenly get agitated around certain things and this emotion bubbling up and just the allowance to allow it to just be whatever it is and allow the Holy Spirit to tell me what they are instead of using the past story and the past experience to say this is what I'm feeling and I need to fix it right now that's how the ego wants to stop stop the opening to continue it's very very profound if you just pause for a moment and take that in it's kind of a version of lesson number five I've never upset for the reason I think that applies as well when you come to that sense of deep fear and you're trying to come up with a reason for it and find a solution like a worldly solution to it including a direction for the spiritual journey from this point okay well if the world's meaning has been okay perhaps my spiritual journey can look like this and it's still trying to like grab hold of an idea or even a spiritual idea and move forward with it but it's just daring to stay so pleasant with what is coming up in awareness now because only the spirit can guide the mind through this awakening it's like the very mind that's experiencing this is being completely undone so how can that mind know what's helpful or what it's going to look like something that has to come from the spirit that has to be revealed and I think the question can rise what's what is the solution then I mean if that's the if that cause-effect relationship has been so pushed out of awareness that a meaningless world of gender's fear because I think I'm in competition with God if that is so horrifying and that's pushed so far out of awareness then what's the solution? true empathy is the solution Jesus does a lot of teachings in the course on true empathy and that's what I was saying earlier when my friend was saying you know the deeper you go in unveiling and exposing the ego it could seem like a nose dive like a plane going down in a nose dive but don't go into a tailspin with it the ego wants you to crash you know for me true empathy pulls you up and out like an acrobatic flyer snoopy in the red bear and pulls you out of it pulls you up and out of it and what is true empathy but your own certainty of what is real and true I mean certainty I mean real certainty there was a teacher back in the turn of the century back in the 1900s some of you have heard of the founder of Christian Science Mary Baker-Eddie Mary Baker-Eddie had a metaphysical college in Boston and one day she was teaching and the glory of the Lord was pouring through her with all of her students and it was pouring through her and pouring through her and she was in her glory and her magnitude teaching the glory of Christ the invulnerability of Christ and she made one statement and most of the students in her class got up and walked out they walked out on her in all of her glory they walked out they were like and what was it that she said that caused most of the students in her class to walk out of the class there's no mind and matter no that came in her book there's no mind and matter no life through no she just said three words in her glory that caused seemingly the whole place to evacuate she said I am infallible whoa I am beyond mistake and they walked out of the room they couldn't handle it you can't handle the truth Jack Nicholson would say you can't handle the truth her students walked out when she said I am infallible now if you know anything about Mary Baker-Eddie she was involved in a lot of healing the sick because of her teachings were so spectacularly accurate and the presence of love was so strong but that sentenced the students I remember there was a time I was at the peace house and one of the students I worked with the longest and probably one of the most I spent the most time with so to speak in a dream I remember I answered the phone one day and it was her screaming at the other end of the line I answered the phone and I said hello and she goes I'm in hell I'm in hell I'm dying here I'm in hell this went on for a couple minutes it was just she's probably doing less than 13 or something I don't know she was just like I'm in hell it's been on for like two minutes screaming as I pick up the phone I'm just having a great day it's a beautiful day birds are chirping this is what I'm greeted with so I listened for like two minutes and finally after like a couple minutes it stops and it was like help me help me it was pleading help me help me well after two minutes it stops and I absolutely burst into laughter I'm in burst into laughter this is what we call true empathy this is what we call true empathy after you get screamed at for two minutes with I'm in hell and then you burst you can't hold it back you burst into laughter so I burst into laughter and I howl laughing I don't even know how long I howl laughing I just laugh and laugh and laugh and then finally when the laughter stopped this calm voice from the other side of the mind said okay what did you do when you were in hell you see how the teacher-student relationship works true empathy some of you have seen Way of the Peaceful Warrior with Dan Milman great movie because Socrates is really in true empathy and Dan isn't Dan is like there's one time Dan Milman said he would go and Socrates said meet meet at the bridge on this campus over near Berkeley or whatever you probably remember the scene and he's so distracted about all these other things in his classes that he shows up late to meet the teacher and the teacher when he finally reaches Socrates on the bridge Socrates picks him up and throws him in the river because he's and then he's angry then his rage comes up as he gets out you know he's so upset but the whole teaching was that he's not really present and then just a touch from Socrates kind of sends him into this mystical state of mind to kind of show him then what the presence these are great teaching devices so with my friend basically I told her a parable of a time when I had an ego fit going on and I was basically saying I am not moving I sat in the chair actually and I said to the ego I'm not leaving this chair until you leave my mind alone I've got nothing to do I've got nowhere to go I am sustained by the love of God I am not moving and so she's okay by you know that was but these are the kind of exchanges and this is what we mean by true empathy is stay in your truth stay in the certainty of your creation by an eternal source by a loving source so many temptations arise during the day to play little to not be in truth to not be in love to succumb to temptation and believe you have to play small like for example compromise most people I meet think that compromise is a good thing you know they feel like that's all there is is you have to compromise at work you've got to compromise in all your relationships compromise with your children compromise with your parents this is one big game of compromise and what does Jesus say about compromise in the course of miracles he says salvation is no compromise of any kind he's given you the truth listen if you're compromising you're not saved and by saved I mean salvation of your mind you're not at peace if you're playing the game of bargaining and compromise so that's why you need the Holy Spirit to take you into that certainty where you don't compromise anymore imagine how much fun you'd have in your life how much absolute joy and fun you would have if you didn't make any compromises of any kind and isn't that what the Bible taught let your yea be yea let your may be nay there's nothing better yes is no better than no sometimes we even buy into that trick of thinking that yes is a better word than no but what have we learned sometimes the spirit will say no through you and sometimes it will say yes and you'll feel peaceful when you let the spirit speak it through you whether it's a yes or a no because why? because that's no compromise of any kind you're not bargaining you're not saying okay maybe and we'll do it your way this time but the next time it's mine you know that's not going to cut it you're not going to make it back into the kingdom of heaven trying to play the game of compromise so these are good examples really not only of don't distract away from it when the feeling comes up but are you willing to go into a place of guidance and trust where you can actually connect with the presence of love which is not into compromise at all doesn't even know what it is yea it's using everything as a positive information for the truth using everything as a reason to turn to the spirit so whatever is going on is the opportunity to turn that's it it's like a decision to wake up that's why we keep talking about it it's a total decision and it's now and it's the decision to wake up it's the decision to know that everything that happens to me everything, every moment of every day is here to serve my awakening it's to help me see where my mind is at what do I believe what am I perceiving and that's it every moment is so obvious what's going on in consciousness and then the decision what to do with it the decision to turn to spirit in every moment you know I just have to help it's very simple it's just shifting cause and effect from something's playing out and I have to in the world to oh I have to remember the reference point where I want to be guided from it's such a high teaching too when we think of it for a moment we may think wow I would love to live a life without compromise but it seems like there's so much going on like a real high goal but remember you don't have to figure out the way to do it even all you have to do is want and the Holy Spirit will have a rushing in with many many many opportunities to teach you true empathy I mean you'll just be given a boatload full of opportunities as soon as you say I will not compromise anymore I'm going to trust you God I'm going to listen to you I'm going to go for it and I really want it I want the peace of God not just the words but I really want the experience then you get experiences and it's absolutely hilarious how it happens I remember all these parables of David in the little peace house and I was really enjoying this true empathy thing and thinking this is really great I just want nothing but this true empathy and I put up a few different flyers around different places saying I had some space if anybody wanted to come and be a roommate and oh wow did I get a roommate the Holy Spirit said do you want true empathy I'll give you the roommate that will make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are in true empathy some of you might have seen the sitcom Seinfeld anybody ever see Seinfeld very funny Jerry Seinfeld there's a character on there named Kramer I got the female version of Kramer answered my Ed be a roommate at my peace house her hair was sticking out in the air like Kramer's and seemingly to the world she was so impulsive and she had lived as part of the circus where you know it would be like if you didn't have any boundaries and you I'm trying to think of a character that would be good if anybody ever see the movie what about Bob that's one with Bill Murray where Bob I need I need I want I want give me give me give me give me give me just great she came into my life and it was so good because she made thousands of requests every week can you take me here can you run me here can you do this can I have this it was just like non-stop and I was really in this kind of beautiful devoted mystical place and so you know I was kind of beyond the early stage of the course if someone makes an outrageous request do it I've done all that years ago everything I'm kind of in this mystical place and she comes you did can you help me with this can you be right just like all day and it was so fun for me to just be in the flow of the joy of spirit I go no no no no no no no no no it was just the most fun I had never had the opportunity to say no so many times it feels so wonderful think about how guilty you feel sometimes when you say no just one no right you know you go away you're not gonna like me you know all this stuff goes on it was she gave me the opportunity to actually say to her listen if you've got an issue going on in your mind where you want to join minds and you need a fair partner and you want to talk about it or whatever you can actually get me up in the middle of the night wake me up if you have an emotional psychological call for help where you want to join with a mighty companion I'm there for you 24-7 but with all these other requests it was just a beautiful opportunity for me to say no no no no no it's like a machine gun no no no no comes in the door it was because they were just all real kind of meaningless requests and you know we developed the most wonderful love and connection she just she advanced in her mind training so much she ended up watching all these metaphysical movies with me and growing and maturing and getting more still and learning how to meditate she would even be able to go and have an issue and go and pick out of my giant metaphysical movie collection and pick out the very movies the spirit was speaking to her all those nose works such a wonder that she tuned in to the spirit and let go of this distracting gimme gimme gimme voice where she could receive answers she could hear the Holy Spirit before when she first arrived she was so scattered it was like obsessive compulsive distractions but it was great it was great practice for true empathy whatever we need will be provided that was given it's really an experience to see that the more we practice the more we see it the only thing that is truly helpful for anyone is that I am staying true empathy we talked about that on the car back home after the movie there was a discussion on our right back so I don't really have to worry about which school is the most helpful for my son spiritual development or his awakening no it's not the problem is not outside our sole responsibility is our own awakening and atonement every time we try to solve a problem out there or take care of other people we are saying there is a world outside of me and everything outside of me needs to change except my mind basically that's what I am reinforcing every time I am trying to help so what is really going on is every time I am doing it I am reinforcing who I am in my mind which is not true so I am not reinforcing the truth in my own mind then the ego projection and the perception going to keep perpetuate itself I force believe because I never stay in this training to train my own mind to see the truth because I always want to see there is something out there that's wrong and they need to change instead of the way I see them so that's why the true empathy is so important it's not about anyone else it's about the the filter that we see through everything we have to use that all the opportunities that present during the day and during our life to say this is my mind and I am going to bring it back to ask what is truly helpful if it is my mind and then allow the actions to be guided that's not the focus the action the form how to behave is not the focus but it's always the thinking do I try to get out there which one should do which and that is the wrong the wrong direction already there that's why the whole basis of the true empathy is key for our awakening true empathy will solve it all for you it will solve this feeling of fear around meaninglessness but what's the most tricky devious weapon that the ego has to guard against the king of heaven actually in the course in the text Jesus says you're almost home you've almost made it back to heaven you just have one obstacle in front of you and all you have to do is transcend this one obstacle and you're home free you've made it home to heaven special love relationship special love relationship the beliefs that you can have a relationship that's different from the relationship that God created you in which is spirit pure spirit and so this world is an attempt to experiment with coming up with a relationship different than the relationship that we have with the creator now that's going to be one we had fun talking about that a little bit on the way of men in the state to be home yesterday picking me up yesterday we had a nice talk on the car today because a woman wrote to me it was beautiful she's just immersing in all of our teachings and all of our materials and immersing in the course and everything and the bottom of her beautiful beautiful email was like a little PS oh it's something that affected I've really been able to have something to extend because I have something to extend in terms of undoing special relationships and she put in there I've just I've actually gone through an eight year open relationship eight year open relationship most of us have an idea whatever our ideas are open relationship but they're not our traditional boxes that we have for relationships whatever those boxes are and I thought we were talking that that would really talk about pushing your buttons the ego is heavy laden with expectations around relationships if you don't think so try it out and notice how strong and how intense it is but this really when you look at it what is a relationship an earthly relationship for except what to experience true empathy if you've got to let your your navy may and you have a partner what an opportunity that is isn't that a ride isn't that the adventure of a lifetime while you still believe in that subject object split you're going to have an enormous amount of mirroring that will go on because whatever in you believes that you can have a will of your own is going to come up for the healing in that that mirroring now we're not advocating anything one way another in terms of form what we are advocating is is everything properly perceived is an opportunity to teach and learn true empathy that we can pull heartedly back because that's your freedom that's your freedom from fear and anything that comes up in the context of you feeling like that's just not right we would say yeah that's just not right minded it's not that there are forms that are right or wrong it's just that when you have a belief that you can have a separate will bigger you'll get lots of opportunities to teach and learn true empathy but it's in time before lunch break open it up to applications, questions so you say our relationship is good of you recommend a relationship to work on true empathy oh yes highly recommend it I call that the fast track fast track over here you've got drugs and then you've got different kinds of things but that's amazing when you combine your spirituality allowing your spirituality to be used with a relationship context I mean when I was talking with Jesus I would ask Jesus what's the fastest way back to heaven and give it to me straight and Jesus said there's two things one is silence and one is relationship and the best is both of them I mean if you're in a relationship and you start meditating all the shit almost everything is going to come up you know how when you start to meditate for long periods of time you get down like the rotor rooter you get down down down more to the root and then just when you get in touch with it if you're in a relationship oh man there's a mirror in this going on anything that you couldn't hit with your silence meditation practice anything anything that you couldn't avoid with your meditation practice you couldn't hit with your meditation practice oh if you've got the relationship thing going you've got the mirror in your face so Jesus said yeah, silence, the practice of stillness and relationship is the fast track back to heaven I just wrote the word once is that a kind of trying to escape for the bureau well these things with breakups again it all comes down to the purpose you can't conclude that the breakup was just purely an avoidance tactic in the sense that it could be that you're kind of on the cusp of really putting up in amazing ways and the spirit is made space for you to be here right now with that breakup to be participating in all of this and then also if you are in that place of just openness to the universe open to spirits saying whatever would be most helpful you don't have to like seek for it just from the prayer of your heart saying whatever is most helpful it will come really directly to you and then you have the presence of mind to be in that oh this is an answer to my prayer I'm going to let the spirit use whatever the circumstances are whatever the situation whatever the relationship I'm going to let the spirit use it for cleaning for purifying my heart for letting me love even deeper we've talked about that love you feel for the planet that love just growing deeper and deeper and more fulfilling than ever through this journey so I wouldn't conclude anything about that I think it could be even a spaciousness for you to kind of drink this in a bit and you know that feels like that's actually what's happening right now yeah of course the miracles is really a tool that uses relationships all the way through it he's saying you and your brother and it's a metaphor because in the end that you and your brother dissolves when you really see what is all my own mind and it always has been but there's some great lines in there where Jesus is talking about relationships there's one where he says every relationship is a total commitment every relationship and he describes these different relationships and one is like holy encounters where you have a brief connection with someone it can be as brief as you meet in an elevator in the way you connect with someone if you catch eye contact it's an opportunity for a total commitment no different to a relationship where it could be more of a partnership where you end up living together and you're together for months or years it's a total commitment and then the third level of relationships he describes where there can be hostility towards each other and it may last for a whole lifetime but the two with this hostile grievance underneath the relationship he says if that teaching learning could be healed if that ancient hatred finally became forgiven within that relationship that would be it would become the holiest place on earth and each of these relationships whether they're a brief encounter or a life long encounter they're all a total commitment because the mind is when you're turning to the spirit and using everything that really is in this relationship with the spirit and it's in seeing that every encounter that I have with you whether it's in person or even in my mind how I think of you is how I think of myself how I see you is how I see myself how I remember you is how I remember myself he says never forget this because in your brother you will find yourself or lose yourself so we're using every relationship what we have with our brother is our opportunity for forgiveness how we truly see our self it's pulling back the projection to oh this is my mind these are my thoughts and this is the healing of our relationship I have this thought that isn't everything forgiven just by being in awareness like the awareness itself is the light just by being in the awareness whatever it is having everything fully in awareness is what forgiveness is that means there's nothing hidden you see awareness when you're aware it's not hidden but the subconscious mind is the attempt to hide secrets private thoughts to maintain something that's not of God so that's beautiful it's a beautiful way of using that word just to let everything be fully conscious or fully aware and then there's nothing to hide really it's a good thing when there's darkness in the awareness because then the darkness is in the light and it's being healed or released I think it's helpful to have full allowance and permission and in the end there's a transcendence in which darkness and light don't meet it's just light but you do have to let the darkness come up to the light it's very very helpful because there isn't endless amounts of darkness oh it ends sooner or later it seems that way I'm not sure what my question is really but I can share what's been going on in my life lately and it's been this seeming breakup with a boyfriend and he's reflecting to me that maybe I've lived in three four times now and it's been this kind of maybe but there's still some love so me and I don't want to put a form on it so he's giving me a lot of but he's actually saying like you hurt me or you're using me like a toy which has been like oh my god you know that's been a tough one to swallow so I feel that whenever I just go with what feels natural and try not to people please and not to say come over as much as you want if it doesn't feel right to me and sometimes I have the opening I think of him and inviting over so he feels like he's just being like a fellow in the wind I think that I'm somehow yeah affecting him affecting him and it's been kind of chaotic and frustrating and I feel like lately it's like the words just don't I can't use the words anymore so in the relationship for me it's more just a feeling underneath it all and he's very much wanting answers all the time and he has so many wives and it's like when he start with the wives it's just blank I just feel like nothing to say and sometimes I can see myself really wanting somehow to save him or to give him something so he can have some relief and then I can kind of observe myself saying something and at the same time feeling believe this or why am I actually doing this and it's just like this loop going on and on with them getting together and he feels like it feels like now he feels safe and now we're together like a couple or there's some form and then I can feel I want to no no no no that's not it so it's all the time there's coming together breaking apart thing and it's kind of frustrating and he's actually it feels like somehow he's pushing to say this is it no more but it's just been weird seeing this yes no maybe I don't know and the guilt coming up with that kind of game going on and on yeah I think it's beautiful that you're in touch with all that because I saw on your Facebook page it was like life coach this is life this is eternal life coaching through you now and coaching yourself it's very spontaneous the structure starts to fall away which in interpersonal relationships to the ego the structure is very important the form is very important to it it's not interested in content it's not interested in the the attitudes and the joy consistently it once it has a very very very strong investment in the form and that's an investment in time too it's something that I were talking about in the sense that once you know there are temporary commitments and those have served well but then you start to move more towards the holy instant in this sense of let your yay me may be able to just say I feel this now and not have to answer all the questions it's almost like giving yourself more and more permission to be the life coach the eternal life coach like you're teaching what you would learn you're strengthening it and the ego gets flushed up because it says you can't live that way it says you can't live without structure that's ridiculous you have to compromise and what we talked about earlier being willing to not compromise your purpose of your life coach just even that itself is a commitment you're making a higher commitment to that and then letting all things be used so maybe after lunch cause we're right about getting close to that time probably our food will be here in like 67 minutes but that's when I like to talk about this topic of holy relationship which first spends like nine chapters on going from specialness to holy and we've talked a bit today about unholy relationships or we've talked about specialness but there's a whole a whole field of reflections of what holiness is because holiness comes from following your purpose when you are uncompromising you draw forth witnesses and reflections of that purpose so in my life for example it's gone from having more typical interpersonal relationships along the way each one was like an opening more opening, more healing there's a commitment level with all of those and then you go into this purpose where you really dedicate yourself to true healing in the mind and then I found that these collaborative witnesses come along and it's like you were just saying about you said I have to have a boyfriend now who is into taking full 100% responsibility that's just a symbol of your commitment to the truth like saying I'm not interested in that ultimately everything is a mirror but that's just a symbol if you have somebody that comes into your life and says wow I agree with you let's use the relationship for taking 100% total responsibility for our state of mind you know for some of us that actually does come along it's not a common thing where you meet a partner it goes yeah I'm not interested in all these other things I've been through all those but I am interested in taking full responsibility for the state of mind and I want you to remind me of it when I forget and I'll remind you you see how high that is it's a much higher relationship it's a much higher level of commitment than ever before so I feel like that's something that we can talk about after lunch we can continue on with that I know kind of pick up your son we have a little bit of a time frame there because what I've found is I find these vibrational connections I find those showing up in my awareness where we rejoice together in sharing this high purpose and our focus is so strong in that that they're very joyful relationships they're really joyful reflections and they're nothing like anything that came before a whole new quantum leap quantum shift saying okay I'm giving up a lot of my horizontal expectations for this because this is what I really want in my heart and then I find that they're very collaborative we come together where there's not there's not even like time expectations if we agree to meet we will if one of us has something that comes up we communicate say oh this came up in this and this but we don't hold each other to time we are here to extend love but we're not here to hold each other to time we're not here to question each other's motives this stuff about why, why, why that's how the ego operates why did you do this why did you do that help me understand you tell me why I believe all the maidens I'm leaving I'm out of here I heard that yesterday I was close to calling and saying have a nice life because I can't take it anymore and I said so why didn't you do and you know it's like and then again he was into the victimization and but why and why did you use me like a toy and just see that I kind of I was very close to reaching this you know is this spirit telling me this is time to just let it go because I'm actually doing it to myself all the time I was asking myself why do you pick up the phone the phone each time and play the role of the crazy girlfriend or ex-girlfriend or whatever I am why don't I just stop it and I can see it's a part of the still wanting things to end nicely and be friends and you know have the love there and have him maybe actually having him understand the way I see it but I can't explain it so maybe that's what I just need to maybe I don't know how to make him understand and maybe it's just trusting that spirit will take over from here and it's not me personally having to explain explaining the course in a way he can understand it it's beautiful it's just what we talked about this is relationships for teaching true empathy and this is their big time if you're a life coach and to be in line with life is to have true empathy in fact we're giving ocean a glimpse he's ready for the girlfriend to show up and you're giving a glimpse of how you must be to be in true empathy you must have the worthiness I mean it's truly the worthiness thing you know if you're more and more into that alignment with purpose you start to realize I am worthy of love I am love I am worthy of reflections of love it's really capital self love in the truest sense it's not narcissistic in any way it's really true empathy and then the beauty of that is then it's more like that lesson let all things be exactly as they are that's how I feel in these collaborative relationships where someone will say hey let's collaborate with this or let's do this let's work on this or let's do this and let's do that and it's meant with you're both a reflection of the willingness to be used by spirit together and then when there's times when the bodies aren't together you still have the love it's still there it doesn't go away to always have the bodies together but that's basically how the ego has set up the constructive relationships bodies together, minds apart and then the spirit's saying no mind together mind unified on the same purpose is the whole key to happiness and then the bodies will be where the bodies will be there may be all kinds of configurations I'm over here traveling now and this is the way the three of us are here and sometimes it's four, sometimes it's two sometimes it's one we've got our support teams here you've seen Michael, Andy we're all like a bunch of ants that are kind of moving around inspired by the love Andy must have been up last night to edit those speakers he must have been up at night just working away so we were here late doing a movie and then I looked and there's two speakers up Andy's been working away we're like little busy ants that are all inspired by the same purpose