 Welcome back to Every Way Woman, so most people including myself are terrified of making the wrong decision. I completely feel the consequences and it's paralyzing. You know, coming from it all later, let me tell you, the older you get, the harder it becomes. It doesn't get any easier because you run out of time. Can you feel like you're running out of time? Absolutely, I do. I just feel like you have less time to help correct your mistakes. So I gotta get where you're coming from, but oh my gosh, you're so young. No, no, because I have less time to make mistakes. So maybe I can correct them, but if I make the mistake, how can I build off that? What do you mean when you say you have less time to make the mistake? Well, I'm already supposed to be so far ahead in my life. I'm not there. So I've got to catch up with myself. It's so crazy. And where we think we should be. And now I can't make the decision because I'm so afraid I'll make the wrong decision that won't give me where I want to be. For me, it's a crazy thing to hear you say that, come out of your mouth, because you are so young. I know that I've had fears when I was 28, but they weren't really those types of fears. They weren't so looming over me. And to make a decision, I think that's what happens. What's the worst thing that can happen with the decision that you make? It was wrong. Maybe we use a different word. You made a different decision for the situation. I think how we frame it is important, but you have to make a decision. And what's happening to your generation is we've planted in your mind that everything has to be like this and you have to make this right decision and you can't mess up your credit and you can't spend this money. And you can't mess up your credit. But we've put all these pressure about what you can and cannot do, and so we don't allow you to make decisions. And then we want to be accepted. The judgment that comes with the decisions. I don't want more Laurence to not like me because I didn't make the right decision. I don't care what people think. Yeah, we do care what people think. I don't want to disappoint. I think that probably relates to a lot of you out there. Who disappoints you? Well, I don't want to disappoint my family, friends, et cetera. I don't want to disappoint myself because when you disappoint yourself, that is a hard thing to live with. Yeah, but we can be our own worst critics. I think each one of us here are our own worst critics. I think that tends to be the case for most people, except for people who are eco-centric. But putting that aside, what else is there to fear? Yeah, so you make a mistake and you move on. So what makes you so fearless? You kind of alluded that you're running out of time. But in saying this, you seem so strong. Well, when I was your age, I didn't have kids, and I had a lot more freedom. I could choose to do whatever I wanted. This path, that path, one door shut. I just turned to the other one with a smile on my face. I mean, it's a time where you could be selfish because kids... That's a lifetime commitment. It is a difference between not having responsibilities. I say kids and having a few more responsibilities in making decisions. But for me and my husband, every decision that we make is surrounded around our family. So we have to think about it. And sometimes we don't make the best decision. So, yeah, what are you doing? Oops, I wasn't thinking about the family this time. And it has a consequence on our family. But what we have to realize is one, we made a decision and how to bounce back. And I think that's what happened. We focused on, we made the wrong decision and we don't show how to bounce back. That's what we're working on in our home right now. We made a very difficult decision for our family and it was wrong. It was clear the wrong decision. And now we're feeling the consequences. How are you bouncing back? But I think I hear her saying is that she's really afraid of failing. There's a fear, a failure attached to this fear. So if you make one wrong decision, you have not failed. Oh no, but I have. In my eyes, living as like a perfectionist, right? So if you make one wrong decision, you failed. Well, I'm trying not to put that kind of big of a title on it. But that's what you're saying, Jay. Yeah, most of the time that's what I feel like. I mean, those things that I've done wrong, it's like it's hard to sleep at night sometimes. So, okay, go ahead. Yeah, no, no, that's a big one. That's a really big one. Because now that comes back down to self-value. Your self-value. Failure is a part of life. And if you don't fail, you will never go to the next level. Anybody in the world who's done anything great has failed. Well, and we don't put your interests on the failure. Or has made really bad decisions. And lost a lot of money. But some of the best lessons I've learned in life have come from my mistakes, have come from essentially my failures. I will credit that. But then there comes a place where you wonder what's next. When your husband, how do you bounce back from that? Because sometimes I don't trust myself to bounce back. And of course that comes from self-worth, if you will. So when you were growing up, if you did something wrong, was there a punishment that was attached to it? Not necessarily. You know, when I was growing up, I did not want to be a woman. That was my biggest fear. What does that mean? My biggest fear in life, when I was a little girl, was to grow up and be a woman. What do you mean? What? Because of the view that I was taught about women in society and all of that. What were you taught? I want to go into it. But that was my biggest fear. Over and above everything else. I did not want to grow up and become a woman. I did not want to have boobs. I did not want to have a menstrual cycle. I did not want to have boyfriends. I was frightened to death. Well, you are one of the most... But I wanted to attach that to something. Because along with that came a whole river of things underneath that I had to overcome. And there was a point in my life where I had to put on my mirror every day in the morning, and I had to write on that mirror, I am a woman and I love being a woman. And every time I had my menstrual cycle, I hated myself for that period. Every time, because I hated being a woman. And when I had my menstrual cycle, and people thought that I was crazy, and all of my friends around me and guy friends, it would make it a point to go, okay, I'm starting my menstrual cycle. I know I hate this, but I'm going to celebrate this. I'm going to wake up and I'm going to say, I am a woman today. I had my menstrual cycle. I feel good. And I would have to look at myself in the mirror and say, no matter what I saw, because what I saw, I didn't like. But I would convince myself, you are a beautiful person. And you are a beautiful woman. And I am going to love this experience. And it took me years to overcome that. And I had to discipline myself and put that on the mirror every day and attach what I wrote to what I saw. So about that decision in Madison, that's an amazing story. Thank you for sharing that. With myself, with my recent decision about dealing with my molestation. For years, for years, I made decisions contrary to what I knew, because I never, ever wanted anybody to be able to take advantage of me the way that that person did and those individuals did. So with that being said, and it was a difficult decision, it was a really difficult decision. And I struggle with it now as I share with you. I don't want everybody in here knowing that I was molested. There's a label that goes with that. But I had to make a decision for me, Madison had to make a decision for her to say that irrespective of everything that's going on Stacy, you are an amazing woman. And that's where I am today because all that other stuff was farce. I was doing things that I didn't even believe in, right? Because I didn't want how people thought about me. So when you get to that point, Jazz, where you are true to who you are. I'm Stacy Lewis, a 48-year-old woman who was molested by men and women. And damn it, I'm new today, right? It's different, but you have to. And I can say that. I couldn't say that before. That's what a decision looks like when this lady says to herself, hey, I grew up for years and I didn't want to be a lady, but now I'm a... And beautiful, might I add? Stunning. So those are the conversations. So for you being one of us, we love you. Whatever it is, shake it, baby. Whatever it is, shake it and move forward. You'll be all right. Decide to be great. We'll be right back with more Every Way Woman. Absolutely.