 Mickey Rooney stars on the screen directors playhouse. Oh waiter. Yes, sir I'll have some lamb chops Corn on the cob Parts of lettuce salad with Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of cold perhaps blue ribbon. Yes, sir finest beer served anywhere From Hollywood perhaps blue ribbon finest beer served anywhere proudly Director's playhouse production the human comedy director Clarence Brown star Mickey Rooney Play what screen directors present a story for the ear and for the heart the human comedy Starring Mickey Rooney and introduced by the director of the film Clarence Brown The making of a motion picture demands a double set of talents from its director a keen artistic sense and knowledge of technology From 35 years ago both qualities parked together in a young engineer who traded his slide rule for a shooting script Tonight he is our guest screen director the creator of such sensitive films as our wilderness the yearling and of course the human comedy Ladies and gentlemen, mr. Clarence Brown When we filmed the human comedy I was fascinated by the title that William Soroy and had given his story. I Rather think he called it a comedy to accentuate the fact that it comes within a hair of being tragic and That margin of difference lies the breadth of our human genius for finding happiness in a universe that can be both cruel and sweet now Here is the story the human comedy Starring Mickey Rooney in his original role of Homer Macaulay I'm Homer Macaulay residence Ithaca, California age Well, I'm grown up now. That's the main thing grown up and taking my place in Ithaca just like my paw before me And it's hard to say how it happened a lot of things went into it some of them pretty big some of them pretty small but Looking back it seems that most of them happened that spring during the war the spring I went to work after school at the Ithaca Telegraph I am mr. Spangler ready for work. Well, holy smoke. I just called you five minutes ago You must be the fastest moving thing in the San Joaquin Valley Oh, I figure it's a good thing for a Telegraph messenger to be fast besides I'm going out for the 220 low hurdles at the track meet tomorrow now Do I get to go to work right away? What are you gonna do with the money give it to my mother? With pa passed away and my older brother Marcus in the army and my sister best going to college I figure a man has to help anyway He can even if it's just working after school. Okay, you're the night shift messenger I'm the manager of the Ithaca Telegraph office. Just call me Tom and this venerable gentleman in the back is our operator Willi Grogan will he this is Homer McCauley our new night messenger Thanks mr. Grogan so you're running the 220 hurdles on over that's right mr. Spank Tom you're good at him pretty good, then you win him you understand for us I'll sure try Tom. I'll see you later Now that you're here boy, you want to remember This office is more than an office. It's a college a place of learning Yes, sir. Can you sing boy? Sing? Sure, I guess fine fine when I'm oppressed by the dismal weight of my 70 years I shall ask you to join me in a song Sure sure mr. Grogan. You see I'm an old-time Telegraph for I'm one of the last in the world you must have handled an awful lot of telegrams Yes, need I have messages of birth and death and happiness and Tragedy and now you're going to be part of it, too You shall be the fleet footed Mercury of Ithaca after dark I'll do my best. It won't always be easy. It hasn't been so easy for Ma and for Marcus He's my brother in the arm. Yeah, this is a different kind of not so easy. I have here message in my typewriter Yeah Then you must deliver Well, it's a just a mrs. Rose Sandoval and it says the Department of War regrets to inform you that your son one Domingo Sandoval Your education begins over you must take it to the mother and use our son's death But I I want to say to her you'll find the word You'll find the word Yes, Sandoval. See I Have a telegram it's for you Please you come in Yes, and not can read English you open and read it to me. Yeah You sent the telegram my son one bombing all the Sandoval That's what the telegram says. Oh, maybe it's maybe it's a mistake the telegram says it was your son, but maybe it's wrong Mrs. Sandoval Do not be afraid Yeah, I will give you candy. Oh Boys like candy. It's a Sandoval. Please. Yeah Eat the candy You would not bring me bad telegram You are good boy I can't Mexican candy I Make it for my one eat though when he come home But you ate it You are my boy too. I delivered the message many men will die in the war No, I know about dying. I found out about it from my father when he died, but He wasn't young like her son I've got a brother Marcus It could happen to him too And to Toby but Toby George my brother's friend in the army there in France Marcus writes me about him. He doesn't have any folks only Marcus They could be killed Homer You've learned your first lesson on your new job But you see it's only the first act of the human comedy the play goes on Here's my typewriter His news for this is you go box a daughter had a boy A boy a baby. I'll take it over right away presently Presently You have a fire of work in your veins so have I The company's been trying to retire me for ten years now What I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have this job Why shouldn't you go on working if a fellow wants to work nobody ought to stop? Yeah, I wish they had offers to hear that why I was the fastest Operator in the business. I'll bet you were now sing me a song boy Protect me from the murder of a vague in time Protect me with your stall. Well, I young green thing boy Well, what do I sing mr.. Grogan? I first song for all men Homer a song for your brother Marcus and his friend Toby on the field of battle thing There's a church in the valley by the No How was it your first night of work all right, it wasn't like I thought it'd be any year Any mail from Marcus mom. No not today Here sit down Let me look at you. You look tired I'll get used to it and worry too what is in here You know ma when a fellow begins finding out about people like like a woman I met tonight a woman whose son was killed Mr.. Grogan afraid of losing his job You know almost everything you find out is Sad yes, it is over. Why? Why is it that way ma you'll find out no one can tell you Mom having a job like this is Wonderful thing for me, but it oh sure make school seem awful silly You're tired Homer go along to sleep now really or not. There's school tomorrow. All right I get some rest for the track meet. Oh, uh You did say there wasn't any mail from Marcus didn't you know no mail. Good night Homer night, ma Directors playhouse production of the human comedy starring Mickey Rooney with Francis X. Bushman as Willie Grogan and Introduced by the director of the film Clarence Brown. You are at Lake Winnipey sake Your outboard motor is just buttered up to the war Awesome thirsty from the broiling September Sun. You step ashore with your meager string of fish Right now a quick plunge in that cool water blue ribbon does something more than quench your thirst It gives you taste blue ribbon tastes the kind of taste you can't get anywhere else in the world except in that perhaps blue ribbon bottle and Fortunately, you can get that perhaps blue ribbon bottle all over the world Yes, you hear it everywhere at Lake Winnipey sake and Lake Tahoe and Lake Louise and Lake Arrowhead Perhaps blue ribbon finest beer serve anywhere Your taste will tell you why Now back to the screen directors playhouse production of the human comedy starring Mickey Rooney. I Guess that first night at the Ithaca Telegraph office was the beginning of my growing up But it didn't show very much the next day because that day the most important thing of my life was winning the 220 Low hurdles for a girl named Helen Elliot You see Helen sat in front of me and Miss Hicks history class and she was pretty and I kind of Kind of liked her she liked another fellow though His name was Hubert Echley the third but there I was stopping her outside my classroom and laying my heart at her feet Helen I'll be thinking of you and the track meet when I run the hurdles Oh Well Hubert Echley the third says he's going to win the hurdle event Hubert Echley the third I'm going to win it for you and for Tom Spangler. Mr. Grogan down where I work You're a very nice boy Homer, but oh Hubert Hubert over here. Oh good afternoon Helen. Are you attending the athletic event this afternoon? Hello, not head Please Homer don't be obstreperous in front of Miss Elliot never mind him Hubert, of course. I'll be there. Oh Here's Miss Hicks. I'll talk to you after class Listen here. I'm going to beat the daylights out of you in the hurdles today You understand that you'll never beat Hubert Echley the third at anything Hubert Echley the third What did you ever do as Hubert Echley the second or the first for that matter? Who did you ever let your hands lie? Hubert is a classroom not a boxing arena You and Hubert will both remain out of class. Oh, I'm missing. I Want you boys to understand that I'm not keeping you to punish you and why you keeping us I've always kept in only those who meant the most to me. It's the most inopportune time with it I'm needed to win the low hurdles today coach Blanton is depending on me What's the matter Hubert you think you're better than the rest of us just because you're rich and your father has some drag with coach Blanton I don't you will both learn Homer and Hubert that every man in the world is better than somebody else and Not as good as somebody else Each of you will begin to be real men and truly human when in spite of your differences with one another You still respect one another That is what it means to be civilized. I hope Miss Hays coach Blanton. Yes, mr. Blanton. I have instructions from From the principal regarding mr. Ackley. Mr. Ackley. Well, what about me mr. McCauley come along Hubert Your father will be very disappointed if you didn't run the 220 hurdles. Good afternoon miss X Did you see that miss X is that special privilege or not certainly is I Don't believe the principal gave any such instructions Mr. Blanton is not only ignorant of sportsmanship. He's also a liar that to 20 low hurdle Low indeed. No, don't cry miss X. I'll stay in home of McCauley You get out on that field and go out to win. Oh I sure will miss X. I'll run like I never ran before and not for Helen Elliott either for you for you and Tom and mr. Grogan and I'll be watching home. I'll win now. I have to win I won my I won the hurdles Victory I won sweet in the mouth of you. Tell me my boy. How did it feel? Wonderful? Wonderful? I like Hubert Ackley all the way home where you are the swiftest messenger since the foot saw a hero who handed the famous message to general Garcia Yeah Well, I suppose I better get the work. Oh here. Here's a letter for you your mother dropped it into the office It's it's from Marcus my brother. Well, open it open it and read the letter from your brother. Hi. I I Think I'd like to read it to you. Mr. Grogan If you don't mind well do so by all means I'm flattered Homer by your thought See it says Ah dear Homer first of all everything of mine at home is yours my books my phonograph records everything They are yours because you are now the man of the McCauley family I am glad that I am the McCauley who is in the war for it would be a pity and a mistake if it were you You are the best of the McCauley's you must go on being the best Tonight our company is resting in an hour or two. We will be going back into battle Toby is beside me as I write this He is an orphan, but I have told him all about us and he feels that he is now a part of the McCauley family and Of Ithaca If all goes well, I will bring him home with me when the war is over But I've made him promise to come back alone if I if I am killed Miss you very much boy God bless you It's a beautiful letter home God protect your brother and Toby if Marcus should die I think I died too the world would be too evil a place in which to live My brother is killed in this war I'll spit at the world Hate it forever. I won't be good. I'll be bad. I'll be the worst that ever live My boy a week of your life is spent by here's another message Deliver it with the speed of time. I'll try mr. Grogan, but my bicycle ain't that fast Come on home. It's time to get up the beginning of another week. I'll get up. I just know the five minutes You're a good messenger Homer. You've done your work. Well, you've been here a month now. Yes. It's been a good month Mr. Grogan, there's a another message I delivered. I Mr. Grogan, Mr. Grogan, are you all right? Mr. Grogan Mr. Grogan What is it Homer? Mr. Grogan well, what's the matter? He's dead dead or He died right in the middle of working look there's a message in his type right He's receiving this message To don't feel bad Homer. He was an old man. This is the way he wants to be Message you said He wouldn't want to go on living if it came the message. What is it on? This is Kate and call it. I think of California as a part of the war we Form you the just son work Here yet Here's my house Tom Try to remember Homer the best of Marcus will never die You'll see him many times in things that will come to you every day in your home in the street places where he's been The greater part of a good man stays forever Try to remember I will I will goodbye Tom. Sorry. I don't seem to remember you But I remember you But we've never met You're you're a soldier are are you from Ithaca? No No, but I'm up if they're part of it now Part of everything that was your brother And you you're Toby Toby George. I was wounded They told me I wouldn't be in the army anymore So I came here to Ithaca I Came home the telegram came today. I have it my pocket What are we going to do? Tear it up over but What will we say? Perhaps we won't need words I'll tear it up. Come on Toby Won't tell me we're going in in to Marcus And screen director Clarence Brown will return to the microphone. I Was fortunate enough to see a movie being filmed recently here in Hollywood It was not Holt's picture called the man of the planes starring Randolph Scott in an exciting story of a Kansas frontier town of 1873 in Some of the scenes have called for beer much to my delight. I noticed they were using Papst blue ribbon Of course, I couldn't refrain from asking why they had selected past Well, they said we try to be as authentic as possible and our research showed that Papst went best with the pioneers in those early days So that's the reason and it's true Papst blue ribbon has been bringing enjoyable refreshment to Americans since the early days of our country's growth Today Papst blue ribbon is a greater favorite than ever not just here in Hollywood, but all over America Yes, you hear it everywhere. Papst blue ribbon finest beer served anywhere Your tape will tell you why Next week on screen directors play house Papst blue ribbon presents the motion picture comedy this thing called love And our star will be rousal and Russell Now here again is tonight's star Mickey Rooney and screen director Clarence Brown Tonight show brought back a few memories for both of us. Oh now Mickey It wasn't so long ago that we made the picture. Oh, maybe not for you with all the films you've worked on But it's still been seven years We were shooting it just about this time in 1942 and talking long talks about Homer McCauley's character You know Mickey Homer was a very difficult young gentleman to put on the screen Remember all the little tricks we had to find to make him real and you sure knew how to find them They tell me Clarence. Where do all those ideas of yours come from? Oh, I guess they're just a director stock and trade Mickey Well, I think the audience knows how much that stock and trade means to us actors and actresses Without directors like Clarence Brown behind the cameras. We couldn't even begin to make the movies we do Thank you. That was very nice. Good night Clarence. Good night everyone Good night to you, Mickey Rooney and Clarence Brown Tomorrow when you go to your neighborhood store for your weekend supply of Paps Blue Ribbon beer Ask for the new handy-six carton. It contains six regular sized cans of Paps Blue Ribbon It's very compact and easy to carry because of a special new type handle that fits your hand snugly Slide the handy-six into your refrigerator and be ready for a pleasant weekend of relaxation with Paps Blue Ribbon finest beer serves Anyway The human comedy was presented by arrangement with Metro Golden mayor producers of the Technicolor musical that midnight kiss starring Katherine Grayson Jose Eterbi and Ethel Barrymore Clarence Brown's latest production is the Secret Garden starring Margaret O'Brien, Herbert Marshall and Dean Stockwell Mickey Rooney appeared by arrangement with Metro Golden mayor producers of the Red Vanube starring Walter Pigeon, Ethel Barrymore and Peter Lofford Included in tonight's cast were Francis X Bushman as Willie Grogan, Barton Yarborough, Irene Ted Road, David Ellis, Helen Andrews, Jane Morgan, Gil Stratton, Jane Webb and Peter Lees The human comedy was adapted for radio by Richard Allen Simmons and original music was composed and conducted by Henry Russell Screen Directors Playhouse was produced by Howard Wiley with dramatic direction by Bill Karn Portioners of the program were transcribed. Listen again next week when Paps Blue Ribbon presents Screen Directors Playhouse production this thing called love director Alexander Hall star Rosalind Russell In Metropolitan, New York more people say Hoffman is the finest Yes, New York's leading restaurant Leglong, La Rue, the Colony all proudly serve Hoffman quality beverages Hoffman club soda famous for its steady sparkle and Hoffman pale dry ginger ale Extra good because it's extra dry. Try Hoffman today Join the thousands who say Hoffman is the finest This is NBC the national broadcasting company