 If you want a man to fall deeply in love with you, if you want him to make you a priority in his life, instead of just taking you for granted, if you want him to think about you, even when you're not around, instead of being somebody that he just kind of forgets about, if you want him to think about you in terms of wanting a real relationship with you, instead of just thinking of you as a casual kind of go nowhere type of a situationship, if you want him to really treat you well, instead of not taking your needs into consideration, and if you want to be someone that he wants to be with forever, instead of being someone that he just wants to be with right now, he has to see you as a valuable woman. He has to think of you as a valuable woman. And so today I'm going to be talking about 10 signs that you should look for if you want to know if a guy actually values you or not. And so before we get started, my name is Matthew Coast, and welcome to Commitment Connection. If you are serious about wanting to get into a real relationship where a man sees you and loves you, and cherishes you as a woman that he wants to be with forever, go check out TheGoddessCommunity.com to consider joining our community there for free. Okay, so first off, I want to say that I'm not talking about intrinsic value, right? We're not talking about how much you value yourself. We're not talking about how much value or worth that you have as a human being. Those things are not contingent on what we're talking about here. What we're talking about is a man's perceived value of you, which is something that we all do, right? There's billions of people on the planet. We meet lots of people all the time. And so we have to differentiate whether somebody is someone that we are attracted to, whether we want to be in a relationship with them, if there's somebody that we would like to see again, even if we want to be friends with them, right? And the way that we do that is we determine how much value they have to us in our lives. And so men do this, women do this, everybody does this. And so I'm going to be talking about 10 signs that you should look forward to see if a man is doing this with you. And so if you're here right now, make sure that you go into the chat and say hi, and let us know where in the world you're watching this from, because it's really cool to see all these people from all over the world watching our videos here. So number one, the first thing that you should look at is does he pay attention to your well-being? So he wants to make sure that you're doing okay. Are you happy? Are you enjoying yourself? These are the kinds of things that he'll be concerned with if he values you as a potential relationship. And so he'll tune into your subtle body language sometimes and may even ask you about it, right? Like he might actually say, hey, are you happy? Like, hey, are you enjoying yourself right now? Like you're having a good time, right? He'll check in with you and he'll talk to you about it and he'll kind of look at what you're doing and see what you're doing and he'll try to gauge whether you're interested in having a good time or whether you're miserable and you're just not having it right now. And so he'll want to make sure that your needs are getting met from the little things like, are you enjoying yourself right now to the bigger things like, are you getting your relationship needs handled? And so that's number one. He'll pay attention to your well-being. Number two is that he'll think about being with you in the future. And so he'll talk about things that he wants to do with you. He'll invite you to things that to do with him sometime in the future. He'll say things like, if we still know each other, right? And then he'll continue on like, we should go and do this or we should go and do that. That's if it's like the initial dating phase. He'll say things like, he might say things like that. In the later on phase, he'll think about like doing different things with you. He'll be inviting you on trips. He'll be talking about these trips that he wants to include you into the trip with. And so he'll gauge your interest in activities by asking you about different things, finding out how interested you are and things that he wants to go do as well, like snowboarding or skiing or dancing or going to concerts or going to festivals or going to bars or getting coffee or going hiking or whatever kinds of things that he's into. He'll start gauging your interest in those things as well to see if those are things that he can take you to and he'll think about doing things with you in the future. So number three is he listens to what you're saying, right? And guys are kind of notoriously known for not listening to anything, right? But he actually listens to what you're saying and he takes it into account when he's talking to you. And so if somebody values somebody else, they look at them and when they're talking, they listen to what they're saying because they want to get to know that person better and going back to the one we were talking about before, he'll want to kind of get a gauge for what's going on with you to make sure that you're okay. And so if you're talking, he'll listen to it and he'll pay attention to it to make sure that he's figuring out what's going on with you and he may even refer things back to you that you've said before to him and you'll end up having real conversations with him where there's actual back and forth going on where you're talking and he pays attention and he talks about things and he'll include you in those things and he'll reference things from the past that you might have said and he'll know about your needs and the things that are going on with you and he might not remember everything and always know every little detail and figure out every little hint that you throw out there, right? Because men are notoriously known for not listening and women are notoriously known for throwing out subtle hints about things that totally go over a guy's head that he has no idea what she's talking about because she's trying to kind of like go around saying it without actually saying it which is kind of a funny difference between men and women. Alright, so number four is that he thinks that you're beautiful even when you think that you look like garbage, right? And so maybe you're embarrassed of how you look, maybe you just came from the gym, maybe you just did something where you think you look all crazy or whatever maybe you guys just hooked up and you have like hook-up hair going on and you think you look really horrible but he thinks that you look amazing and he does this because he values you and he thinks you're awesome and he's starting to kind of fall in love and so you have these little things that these little quirks and these little things that you don't want him to see, right? Like the gray roots that you have in your hair that you dye every time you dye your hair or the little wrinkles here or there on your face or somewhere else on your body or the stretch marks that you have around your body or just anything, right? Anything that's going on with you even if it's not something as permanent as some of those things but something maybe that's a little bit more like you know, I just woke up and I've got bed head and I think that I look like garbage or like I didn't do my makeup today and I need to have my face on and I'm embarrassed that I don't look better but he doesn't care, right? He thinks that you look beautiful anyway and so if you get what I'm saying here make sure that you say that you get it say I get it in the chat say I get it, if you get what I'm talking about here Alright, so number five is he thinks about how he can protect you and so he takes your side in different types of arguments even when it doesn't make sense to take your side he puts his coat on you when you're cold he helps make sure that you get across the street safely if you're walking maybe he'll put his arm around you and kind of push you along you know, he'll open doors for you and kind of lead you through the door he'll want to protect you he'll always take your side in arguments and this is kind of a masculine manly thing that guys do is they want to be protectors so he'll become kind of this protector person for you because he wants to kind of show you it's almost kind of like this biological thing where he doesn't even necessarily think about it where he wants to show you that he is this man for you and so number six is that he'll want to show you off on his arm and so what does this mean, right? and sometimes I get women that are like oh, you know, they kind of get taken aback it's a really, really good thing and if he takes, like, he'll want to take photos of you and you'll want to post them on social media sometimes guys don't do that though because he doesn't want to come on too strong because guys have had the experience women have too, right? I get women that complain about this they're like, oh, you know, as soon as I show interest in a guy that's when he disappears, right? Well, guys have that same experience show a lot of interest in a woman and then all of a sudden she disappears on him and so sometimes guys won't do this because he'll want to try to keep things cool he'll want to kind of create some mystery around it but if he really likes you and he really values you he'll want to show other people that he's around you and that you two are together and so he'll like to post things he'll want to at least post things on social media or share them to his friends and his family and the people that he knows he'll want everybody to know that he's dating you and he'll want to take you to places specifically so that you can meet people that he knows so that he can introduce you to them and he can be like, hey, look at this amazing woman that I'm dating right now, she's so awesome I want everybody to know about it I'm going to tell everybody about it yeah, I'm with her, she's with me, we're together and he'll be taking around introducing you to everybody and it'll be bringing you into his world and he'll want everybody to know about you and he wants people to see you with him there's actually a couple of women in our community recently that were talking about being in these relationships where it's a secret, they're like this dirty little secret and it's like that's not a relationship that you want to be in like really, unless you kind of don't really value yourself or if you are kind of in a situation where you don't want to be in a real relationship then I guess that's okay but my suggestion is that you don't get into a relationship of any kind where you have to be it has to be a secret that you're seeing each other and they suggest that you don't get into that situation there was a woman that mentioned something about her still being kind of married and she's getting a divorce right now and so they're kind of keeping their new relationship a secret there's a lot of things that I could say about that but we will move on to the next one number seven, so he wants to take care of everything for you and so a guy that really values a woman to kind of step up and he'll want to start paying for things he'll want to pay for everything even when you don't want him to and you might even try to... like one of the things you have to realize about men and dating is that every woman that a man goes out with on a date has some kind of different expectation about what should be happening on this date and different things that she thinks should be happening there and so one woman that he dates is going to be very adamant about paying her own bill and she doesn't want you to pay the bill and so she will fight you tooth and nail and pay that bill in order to make sure that you don't end up paying for it all and then there's other women that he'll go out with who don't even give it a second thought and she's like, you're paying and that's all there is to it because you're the man and so every woman that a man goes out with there's a different expectation about it there's different kind of rules that she has about what's going on there but what he'll want to do is he'll want to pay for everything even if you try to fight him about doing that and he'll want to plan dates and he'll want to take care of the details he'll be willing to go out of his way in order to come and see you he'll do things like break other plans that he has because you're free this one night of the week and he'll want to make sure that he ends up getting to see you and so he'll ignore other things and he'll break other plans and this is really making you a priority right that's kind of what this is he takes care of everything he makes you a priority and he does things in order to take care of everything that's going on and so he'll go out of his way in order to make life comfortable for you when you're around him so number eight is he believes in your potential and so if he knows that he he knows what's going on with you in your life what he's going to do is he's going to see you kind of becoming that person and we kind of talked about this in the opposite regard and this is really called support this is what support is and he'll see who you can become he'll see you and he'll believe in your potential and creating what it is that you want and becoming the woman that you want to become and having the life that you want to have and he'll be willing to support your growth and helping you become that woman that you want to become and so number nine is he will try to impress you and this kind of depends on how much he kind of is confident in himself so the more confident that he is the less that he'll try to do this on a conscious level and the more that he sees you as really being valuable the more he'll feel like he needs to kind of up his game and he'll want to display his life for you and he might even do it in kind of nonchalant ways if he doesn't want to look like he's impressing you right because if he looks like he's impressing you what he's saying to you on a subconscious and subtle level is that you're a lot more valuable than he is and so he'll still try to do it though but he might try to do it kind of sneakily and so when you're talking about something like let's say that he knows how to dance or something and you're talking about how you like to go dancing he might not even mention that he knows how to dance until later because he wants to kind of he wants to not look like he's actually trying to impress you but he really is and sometimes guys will be a lot more overt about doing this where he'll just kind of like you've probably seen it before where a guy will like lay out his resume and you know who he is and what he's done in his life and all that kind of stuff which is another sign that he's he really values you because he's trying to impress you and he's trying to show that he's worthy of you that he's valuable enough for you as well because he sees you as being really really valuable so number 10 what is number 10 number 10 is he contacts you for seemingly no reason at all and this is kind of going back to the one where he's falling in love with you and he really likes you and he thinks that you're awesome and sometimes I'll have women come to me and they'll be like oh why did this guy he just sent me high like he sent me a text message that just said hi like what does that mean it's a reach for connection right he likes you and so he's reaching out to connect with you and all you have to do is say hi back that's it right if he sends you a message say hi back if you like him and if you value him and if you want to potentially be in a relationship with him if he sends you a message just send him a message back even if it's not a question or anything just send him something back just to let him know that you are still interested or he'll tell you things like he's thinking about you or he might send you a message just to tell you a joke or send you a meme or do something like that right depending on how sophisticated around internet and technology he is he might do some of those things so I'm going to go back over everything and then we're going to do question and answer so if you have questions about anything it doesn't have to necessarily be about this particular topic if you have questions about your life if you have questions about your life you need some help with your life just let me know I'll help you with whatever you want to talk about I'll help you with anything that you want to talk about in your life if you got a question about it just let me know in the chat I'll hopefully get to it here and so going back over so number one is he pays attention to your well-being number two is he thinks about being with you in the future number three is he listens to what you're saying very important one number four is he thinks you're beautiful even when you think you look like garbage number five is he thinks about how he can protect you number six is he wants to show you off on his arm number seven is he wants to take care of everything for you number eight is he believes in his potential sorry in your potential number nine is he tries to impress you and number ten is he contacts you for seemingly no reason and now before we get to the question and answer real quick if you're really serious about getting into a relationship you're valued and you're seen and you're loved for the amazing beautiful woman that you are a relationship where you really believe that you deserve to have one that that you want to have make sure you go over to the goddesscommunity.com to check out joining our community there for free again it's the goddesscommunity.com all right let's see what kind of questions we have here what kind of questions do we have here lots of people hi hi hi hi hi good morning Liz Kenya, Cameroon California, Tennessee all over Netherlands cool spot says should I chase my masculine lesbian girlfriend no you should not should let her chase you because if she's chasing you she can't be breaking up with you Ms. Paranoid Android hey says can't wait for this live stream topic just what I needed all right so Lorna says I love your videos thank you very much Lorna I love compliments if you want to give me a compliment I would love that anybody wants to give me compliments please throw out compliments anytime you want to I just love compliments and one of my favorite things next to hugs and kissing all right Prissa says and with a guy who we just started as friends later started to have sex without being exclusive but lately some few months back he gave me the keys to his house and is telling people at his place what's it mean well it means that he trusts you and it means that he likes you and that he wants to have you in his life what it doesn't mean is that you're in a relationship and so I want to make sure that's clear right if you haven't talked about it if you haven't talked about being in a relationship if you haven't talked about exclusivity you can assume that you are not in a relationship and that you are not exclusive and you have to know that everybody needs to know that so it means that he does trust you and that's a good sign it means he likes you a lot it means that he's willing to have you in his life so much and trust you so much that he gives you a key I mean that's pretty amazing Rosenblatt says oh he hears everything it enters one year and immediately leaves the other just kidding that's funny that's funny hey Melissa Bunny Monday says I get it but didn't hear the first three yeah just make sure you click on the bell notification if you want to get notified about our live streams because it doesn't go to everybody Sissy hi Matt I almost miss this hey Sissy yeah I was just looking at your channel the other day looks pretty cool I don't speak Spanish I speak enough Spanish to travel and eat other things no but I don't really speak enough Spanish to get your channel but I'm sure your channel seems like it's probably awesome it's about personal growth love personal growth stuff in Spanish good times thanks Matt for your time Bunny Monday says I feel like this sometimes he has not told his family yet that we are dating keeps saying he well FYI we're an older couple and he has very possessive daughters well how long have you guys been seeing each other Kim says I rebooted this video and I can finally see and hear you awesome Danette says he's all of that but hot and cold occasionally when called him out on it he states it's just him not me yeah it's almost certainly just him not you right because that's what's going on with him he's doing that job financial issues seem to be making him distressed I'm supportive and take steps back yeah I mean it's one of those things where when we talk about the idea of value a lot of times the idea of priorities come up and I get this from women all the time because a lot of women what they end up doing is they're so relationship oriented and they so feel so kind of like when they're connected with a guy like they want to like everything starts becoming about the relationship a lot of times and so they kind of want the guy to start doing that as well but one of the things that you have to remember about men and masculinity is that masculinity isn't relationship focused femininity is right and so if you come from a feminine core and you are attracting a masculine man you have to realize that his you're most of the time when he's living his life you're probably not going to be the number one priority you should always be somewhere in the top three however it's not all you're not always going to be number one because he's going to have his purpose and his drive and his mission that's usually going to be the number one forefront when he's not doing that and he's kind of kicking back a lot of times what should happen is his priority should shift and you should become the priority but if he starts having financial problems for most men most masculine men what ends up happening is they have to focus on that because they can't like they have a problem focusing on anything else in their life especially a relationship because they feel like they can't really be there as a man they can't really show up as a man they can't really be respected as a man because so many men they tie together their self-esteem and how much they value themselves with their ability to be a man and provide and protect and part of that providing and protecting is being financially stable so that he can provide for you and you can come into his life and he can be that great man for you in your life and so a lot of times when job financial issues come up it can really really prevent a man from making you a priority it can make a guy go hot and cold it can make a guy say things like I'm just not ready right now I'm not in the space and you have to have a conversation with him about that to find out more about what's going on with him and find out when he is going to be ready when he is going to figure these things out because most men have a timeline in their minds about how long it's going to take for them to become stable again in those kinds of situations I'm kind of running off on a rant there but I wanted to kind of talk about that situation since it sounds like that's what you're going through right now okay where did I run off here okay so Kim says I had a man offered to support me but I turned him down he supported me because he knew I wanted to be my independent self it's a big thing especially in the west right now where a lot of women are trying to get away from a man supporting them and being dependent on them and so a lot of women will jump to the opposite side because they're like I gotta be independent and so a lot of men are like okay you gotta be independent which is kind of creating this weird dynamic for a lot of men and women because men will come into situations and they're so used to women especially if they live in more kind of liberal areas they're so used to women being like hey I don't want any support from you I don't want any I don't want you to pay for things I don't want you to do those things that a lot of guys will just back off completely and then they'll start going on dates with other women who expect them to kind of pay for things and to step up and be the masculine force in those ways and the guys aren't doing those things because they're being told by so many women to not do those things for them to do those things and so it's something that you need to be aware of if you live in the western part of the world like America or some of western Europe so Lauren says how can you tell if me really fall in love or not for some chemical that produce in man body what I have no idea what that means I think what you're asking about is pheromones or something I'm not sure though so Eden says I've had two great dates I really like him now I'm already feeling anxious it happens when you like somebody feeling anxious Ms. Paranoid Android says 10 out of 10 Matt do I still have to wait 6 months before we really move in together do you no I mean you don't right so the 6 month mark when I talk about the 6 month mark that's not about waiting for the 6 month mark to move in together you should probably wait a while to make sure that you're not missing something a lot of women sometimes will jump into things really quickly and then they'll end up missing something and at the same time you know if you guys have a lot of momentum and you really trust him and you feel like everything's on a good path and he's being really open and honest with you and he shows you that he really values you and all that kind of stuff I don't think you necessarily need to wait on any particular timeline I don't think there's any kind of arbitrary rule about that the 6 month point just determines that most men at that point know what kind of relationship they want many of them will know way before that some guys when they see you they think that they know and they'll be like oh my god this is the kind of woman that I want to get married to a lot of times he needs to go through a little bit of a process of discovery because sometimes he's not really looking for all the things but you can definitely move in with each other before the 6 month mark I would just make sure I'm being smart about it Patricia says Matt how do I know this in a long distance relationship he already talks about traveling together when he is able to be with me well there's a lot I mean okay you need to tell me a little bit more about what that means we get a lot of women that talk about these long distance relationships and have you guys met each other before do you know each other really if you guys haven't met each other which I'm just going to assume that you haven't because a lot of women kind of talk about these long distance relationships with these guys where they haven't even met each other yet if you haven't met each other and you haven't spent much time with each other before you don't really he's not valuing you as a human being he's not going to fall in love with you as a human being if he does this and we're assuming that this isn't some kind of scam which it could be and I feel like we talk about this in every single live stream but there's a lot of scams out there and assuming that this guy is a real guy and he's really interested in you you guys need to meet each other in order to have a real relationship otherwise you're just falling in love with this image right you're valuing this image of another human being you don't even know what each other really looks like you don't even have any real kind of connection with each other outside of maybe talking over text message or phone and the magic happens in real life and it's not to say that you can't do something through long distance relationships you definitely can there I have heard success stories of women doing this even women that have never met the guy before and then for the first time ended up meeting that guy I've seen success stories like that but you want to be careful you want to be really really careful if you're talking to a guy and he's long distance and you guys have never met before and you guys have been talking for months so I don't know that that's your situation because you didn't tell me what your situation is outside of it just being a long distance relationship so cool spot says should I you already asked that should I chase my lesbian girlfriend even though I am the fem no you should not chase your lesbian girlfriend stop it stop chasing stop chasing people the feminine doesn't chase so pat lucas says actually confidence and security doesn't chase right so being confident in yourself knowing yourself that doesn't chase people that chase whether you're masculine or feminine people usually chase somebody if they're insecure and they feel like they need to kind of chase somebody but if somebody's got a lot of options and they're really secure in themselves which is what a high value person usually has then you aren't chasing anybody right you're mutually coming together in a space where you sometimes I talk about chasing in my live streams like I have a live stream about getting somebody to chase you but that's not chasing like grasping or kind of running after somebody it's helping somebody invest in you who wants to invest in you and in order to get to this kind of committed relationship that you want to get to pat lucas says just had amazing first date we connected on a level I have never found before he finally asked me on the second date but he just doesn't text much at all in between is that weird no it's not weird actually it's pretty normal especially initially for people to not even necessarily text a whole lot when they're first dating right if he's busy if you're busy if everybody's busy you're not really messaging each other right because you have other lives you're probably seeing other people you've got other things going on and so you know just texting and like especially for guys if guys have spent any time getting into the the men's dating world there's there's kind of two different sides of the men's dating world just to let you know there's one side in the men's dating world where they teach you to kind of like chase after a woman and kind of pursue her and do all these things which is a very small side of the men's dating world and it's kind of usually based on this idea that persistence is attractive but a lot of guys that do that end up finding that they screw things up before the date right and so they meet a girl and they really like her and they're talking to her and you're having this great conversation and he's doing all these things and all of a sudden she doesn't want to hang out and she starts ghosting and she starts doing all these other things right and so he ends up feeling really invested because he's been pursuing and doing all these things and then all of a sudden she backs away and it kind of crushes his self-esteem and it crushes his heart and it makes it really difficult and so there's this other side of the men's dating industry where they teach men to kind of chill out and to lean back and to just use the phone in order to kind of make a date with somebody which in my opinion is the best thing that you could be doing on both sides if you're on the men's dating side or the women if you're a man or a woman you're dating my suggestion is that you should just for the most part be using the phone to set up dates right because otherwise you're trying to create this relationship over text message there's a lot of things that can go bad really really quickly and it also kind of gauges the other person's interest in you right if they message you and they want to go on a date with you and you don't if you're you think that you have to do something right there's like this thing that's called the illusion of action where you feel like you need to do a bunch of stuff in order to make something happen with him and so what ends up happening a lot of times men or women is that they end up kind of chasing somebody and going after somebody trying to make something happen trying to make that person be interested in them and they end up just driving that person out of their life and smothering them and all that kind of stuff and so he's probably just chilling and laying back and he's got things going on in his life and so you know I don't think it's that weird for most people especially busy people and people that have a lot of things that are going on in their life people that are dating other people those for those people it's not very most of them don't aren't trying to contact you all the time right unless they've been given that advice or they're kind of like they don't really know much about the dating industry and so in the first especially the first few dates most if a guy kind of knows what he's doing and he's trying to make sure that he doesn't smother you he'll probably just be using the phone to set up a date and then he'll be doing like what we're talking about where the magic is in the meeting in person and he's going to make sure that he's not smothering you or screwing things up because right now over here wondering like is he interested in me does he like me like is he really that into me you know like why isn't he messaging me right whereas if you're he's messaging you all the time you know you know that he's into you you know that he's pursuing you you know all these things and it kind of destroys the mystery it doesn't make you feel as good but for you it kind of creates this mystery and this like intrigue about what's going on with him and you're like I don't know if he likes me I don't know if he doesn't like me I don't know what's going on here right which actually is is proven to make you more attracted to him and it works the other way as well right if he's not really that sure about how much you like him he's going to be sitting there wondering about it as well right and if you guys lean if you're both leaning back too far it's not going to go anywhere but you want it to be kind of a mutual thing that's going on right and so it's not a bad thing necessarily if you want to reach out to him I wouldn't do it until probably like the third date though you know before you just like reach out to him and just say something to him if you want to communicate during the week because basically when you do that you're opening up kind of this world for him to start doing that with you as well and it's one of those things guys do the same thing right they gauge how interested you are in them based on how you respond and react to them and so if you're not messaging him you know after the second or third date if you don't send him a message and he's not sending you a message a lot of guys will just assume that you're not interested in them and so we have this concept of leaning back that we talk about and at the same time you you know relationships are a mutual thing and you want to you have to be putting in some effort in order for him to think that you're still interested in that he's not going to land in the friend zone I feel like I'm just kind of like running off on things right now Julie Tree says your smile is gorgeous to me aww thank you thanks Julie Tree you're such a sweetheart that's so sweet Grazi says hi I went on an amazing date and he's been chasing me for the past two months he went on a business trip got busy he texted me asking if I'm free this week I said give me a call did I do the right thing did you do the right thing well maybe I mean if you're trying it depends on what your kind of end goal is here right he sent you so he was chasing you for two months he went on a business trip and got busy and then he sent you a text message and asked if you're free this week and you said give me a call because you're trying to get him into this phone conversation with you which can be a really powerful thing to do because it can gauge a man's confidence I don't know how many so you went on one date with him and then he was chasing you for two months I don't know what that means did you guys go on more dates did you do the right thing I mean if you like him giving you calls maybe you did the right thing if you want to see if he's going to step up and actually call you which is in my opinion is better than texting anyway then I think you did the right thing we need to know more about your goal and more about your situation alright America I like your name America it's kind of like America maybe you're not from America maybe you are I don't know how can I know if the man I am seeing really knows he loves me I just did a live stream on that it was called something like 12 signs 12 things a man will do if he really loves you you should go watch that go watch that live stream it's a really great one so May says if he keeps talking about his exes conflicts with them and how they hurt him does it mean that he's not over them yes that's exactly what it means it means that he was hurt by them and he hasn't healed he may still be attached to them from a emotional standpoint where he wants them back he might not you never know but it does mean that he isn't over them in the sense that he's still hurt from being with them and so he's still thinking about them and what's probably going to end up happening is he's probably going to end up taking that out on you unless he's a really evolved kind of mature guy that's working on growth and developing himself but that's definitely something that you want to be aware of and it could be a really big red flag if that if he's if he's not really growth oriented and working on himself because there's one thing I saw some woman post this in our community the other day she was talking about how there's a saying about something where if you don't heal your wounds you'll end up bleeding on people that you don't mean to bleed on and that's exactly that's exactly true that's what happens and that's where he's at and so there's not really a great way to kind of help him through that he's got to kind of get through that himself and you don't want to kind of enable him to not get through it by himself and you also don't want to get to emotionally invested in him if he isn't if he still has something that's going to come up and it's going to be a big thing that's going to come up like you know he doesn't want to get into a lot of guys sometimes don't want to get into relationships again because they've been in situations like that and gotten hurt you know and so you want to find out that kind of stuff and find out how that might be impacting his life and have a conversation with him about it because it's a very important topic and if he's not in a space in a healthy space where he's growing and moving forward then you don't want anything to do with it and yep so a little bit Elizabeth says I like it when my man when my man shows concern especially when I am sick you know to just call text or ask how I am feeling I also like it when I'm being listened to without being judged what should I do well I think that you should or do you have a man I don't know anything about your situation are you saying that you have a man and he doesn't do these things are you saying that you don't have a man and you want a man to do these things are you saying that you have a man and he does these things sometimes I don't know your situation you gotta talk more about that Grazi says I have basically the same question as Pat Lucas Pat Lucas is that something that I think I went over that pretty well if I didn't cover that clearly or extensively enough let me know Elizabeth says does lack of these qualities mean he doesn't care well what it means is you know when we talk about value and I talked a little bit about this at the beginning when we talk about value what we are talking about is the way that he sees you as somebody as a somebody that he potentially wants to be in a relationship with as somebody that he wants to kind of step up for and treat really well as somebody that he wants to be with forever right and so the more of these things that he has and the more he kind of acts this way the more that he is going to really he is going to care he is going to do all these things he is going to treat you as a priority and the less that you have of those things the less he is going to treat you as a priority and the less he is going to care and the less likely he is going to want to be in a real relationship with you and this is something that you are really concerned about I have a new program that I just came out with just got done with the forever woman and you can go to theforeverwomanformula.com there is a link in the description below and you can get it for free I am giving it away for free and it is all about how to raise your value in a man's eyes and make him see you as this amazing woman that he wants to be with forever so go check that out go check it out the forever woman formula it is a tongue twister I know the forever woman formula I need to come up with a shorter URL for this I will come up with something I think that is pretty good you think the forever woman formula is good let me know if you think the forever woman formula.com is good I could not get the forever woman.com unfortunately that was already taken somebody is using it for something that is vastly less valuable to the world than what I am Valah says my I am just joking by the way about that they are selling clothes on that website I am sure that is incredibly valuable Valah says my best friend and I been crushing since we kids now he is in a situation and seems to be pulling away what I want to let go so what do I do well you block you cut them off you refocus your thoughts and your efforts you grow new attachments you regain your power you regain your sense of identity and who you are as a human being because what happens when you are seeing somebody and you are really connected with somebody is that your identity is kind of meshed together and when you break up it almost feels like you lost a part of yourself and there is actual chemical emotional things that happen inside your brain that happen where it feels almost like you are going through withdrawal symptoms and so you are like and you have to there is a part of it that takes time there is also a part of it that takes kind of regaining control of who you are and having your own life and creating a life for yourself Pink says I have this on speaker in my office because my co-worker needs to hear it that's pretty funny that's pretty funny tell them to come and subscribe to our channel here come subscribe to the Matthew Coase channel they can get this valuable information for themselves come join us on our future live streams everybody in Pink Ora's office right now come to us I am going to start sounding like a cult here soon Desi says is it okay to tell a guy right away that I am looking for a serious relationship and potentially getting married yeah I don't think there is anything necessarily wrong with it if a guy is looking for a serious relationship if he is looking to get into one or if he is even open to it right because some guys aren't necessarily looking for it because there is a lot of guys out there that are jaded just like there is a lot of women out there that are jaded where they feel like they are oh well I am never going to find anybody and all that kind of stuff so sometimes guys aren't or they are just having fun dating or whatever but they are open to it they found this really amazing woman that they really connect with on a lot of levels and that they really value and they really perceive her as being this amazing woman a lot of times guys in that situation they are open to talking about it right and if a guy is not open to talking about it it means that either one he is not looking for something serious two he is got he is a liar right or he is hiding lots of things it is a red flag you need to watch out for that kind of thing it could also mean that that he is I don't know there is a lot of other things that it could mean and all those things are not good and so I mean it might not necessarily be like the first thing that you want to talk about because it can kind of feel there is this kind of term that I keep hearing that is like thirsty it might sound kind of like thirsty right like you are looking at him and you are trying to use him as this placement because there is a lot of guys out there who are afraid that they are going to be kind of used by women as kind of this placement right like oh I have got to get married oh I have got to get into a relationship oh I have got to find a man to do this and you know any old man that fits these categories will do and so a man just like a woman doesn't want to feel like they are just being used as kind of this placement holder and they want to feel special and they want to feel like you really like them and that they are awesome and so it might not be one of the first things that you want to talk about however it is definitely something that you want to talk about early on enough so that you are not getting emotionally invested in really liking this guy and he ends up being somebody that you are that is not looking for a serious relationship and then you find out and you are like oh you are totally crushed by it right and so on either the first or second date you should be talking about it in my opinion because it tells you so much about what is going on with him and where things can go and how open you can be to kind of getting into a situation with him that you really like that is a great name very interesting name you have on youtube says you are so cute like my bro ok well I am glad you think I am cute thanks Victoria says oh yay catching you live again love it awesome Victoria says how do you bring the spark back into a seven half relationship is that some kind of code word you mean seven and a half year relationship I think you left the year up seems like we are drifting apart and need to bring the sparks back yeah I mean there is a million different things that you can do to kind of bring the sparks back into the relationship the most powerful things that you can do is something that I call the principle of polarity and I talk a lot about this in my my program the forever woman and so you might want to go check that out and also if you want to check out some of the live streams and some of the things that Helena Hart has done not only on our channel but also on her channel Helena goes into a lot about feminine energy I'm not sure if you feel like you're somebody who at the core is kind of a feminine what happens a lot in relationships and one of the reasons why the spark kind of dies off is because what happens with two people a lot of times is they come in and there's kind of this polarity that's there with them and there's like this excitement and all this amazing stuff and eventually they kind of mold together and it's almost like they become one person a lot of ways is really really cool but in a lot of ways it kind of destroys all that passion and that spark that you guys had for each other and so a lot of the passion and the spark that people have in their relationships it's not from what you guys have together and the similarities and all the things that you guys do together it's about the differences, right it's about having things that you have outside of the relationship it's about having the polarity that you guys have between being him being in his masculine and you being in your feminine and kind of the difference in those two things and a lot of times you'll see couples that have been together for a while and it's like they're wearing the same clothes and they look the same and it's really cute and at the same time you look at it and it kind of feels a little dull because that polarity is gone and so my suggestion is that you look a little bit more into this idea of polarity in your relationship and kind of see where you guys might be kind of letting go of that space because that's really it's the differences that create the passion it's the differences that create the spark it's the separateness that and it's being away from each other that really brings that like I'm not going to do that anymore okay so next question I hope that answered your question there Carla so Rene says when we start getting close he starts pulling away what do I do? you pace you do pacing which is this technique of like mirroring his interest levels since you used one sentence question I'm going to give you a one sentence answer cool spot says what do you do if you're a dominant girlfriend still talking about your lesbian relationship here what do you do if you're a dominant girlfriend always restrict you from posting certain pictures online does she have the right is the relationship toxic well if I were you I would take a look at what that means right like what exactly is she preventing you from posting and why is she preventing you from posting that you might want to talk to her about that open up a real conversation about it you know I mean it's one of those things where we can kind of you haven't really told us about what kind of pics you're posting online and it could be anything right and so if your pics are like some things that in terms of being in a relationship are completely inappropriate to be posting now that you're in a relationship with somebody then I could see from your girlfriend's point of view why she might be like hey I don't want you posting that stuff online and at the same time if it's things that are very innocent and that aren't kind of a big deal then it's something that you definitely need to have a conversation about so Matt says I get it Matt but I can only feel these things to my best friend not my boyfriend should I move forward with him even though I am not 100% in love with him should I leave my boyfriend who doesn't value me so you're saying he doesn't do these things and you're not 100% in love with him so if that's going on you need to kind of take a step back and you guys need to look at what's going on there because you know moving forward with him I kind of it depends on what you mean by moving forward with him but it's definitely something that you want to take a look at like you know what what's missing here from both of your standpoints right and have have really like if you're in a relationship things kind of change a little bit once you're in a relationship and I'm going to assume that you're in a relationship because you're saying that you're he's your boyfriend and you're talking about moving forward when you're in a relationship it's it's good to be talking about these things and being honest and upfront and open about thing these things and finding out where he stands right and finding out why what's going on with him right is he not making your priority like what are the things that are going on and why are those things things that he's doing it might be something where it's something that he his parents did right because a lot of us what we do when we get into being adults is we just kind of mirror and mimic what our parent what kind of relationships our parents had with each other and so if he's doing these things because not because he doesn't value you but because his parents did something different then what you want to do is find that out right find out the distinction between the two is it because he doesn't value you is it because he doesn't love you is it because he he's kind of gotten really comfortable with you you know kind of look at what you've been doing what he's been doing in the relationship and figure that out or whether it's something that he does all the time with with every relationship that he's in because that's something that he's been modeling from his parents or from previous relationships and then determine whether which one it is and whether you want to move forward based on that knowledge which you know if it's if it's something that his parents did and that he's modeling then it's something that unless he is kind of a growth oriented person where he's trying to change and do things and grow up and develop then it's something that's probably going to be in a relationship for the rest of your lives and so you want to you want to kind of look at that if it's if it's a value thing there's things that you can do to kind of raise your value and create more attraction and you know look at it in the standpoint of is this something that I have some kind of control over where I can actually do some things and then take those steps towards doing something that might change things for you and then watch what's what happens and if it doesn't continue to get better then that might be something that you want to readdress after you've kind of looked at that from that standpoint grozzy says thank you grozzy thank you so much for giving me 499 love those love those super chats thank you so much I appreciate it really appreciate it I'm glad that you feel like the advice was really great and I'm glad that you appreciate my time in being here so thank you so much for that wow there are lots of questions but we have hit the hour mark and so thank you everybody for for being here I'm always confused how to end these like live stream first off if you want to if you really are serious about getting into a relationship where you're seen and you're valued and you're loved by a man then make sure you go to the goddess community dot com and consider joining our community there for free and as part of joining one of the gifts that you're going to get as well for joining now is also my brand new program called the forever woman and it's all about how to raise your value in a man's eyes and create a relationship get into a relationship where you're really valued by a man so go check that out and at the end of these videos I'm always confused about how to end these things I'm like you know like alright so you know thanks for thanks for watching I'll see you again soon you know or like yeah I'm not really sure maybe maybe I should like create one of those taglines like Tony Robbins always does like live you know thanks for tuning in live with passion or something like that maybe I should do something like that anybody have ideas? if you have ideas then you should put them in the chat real quick or send me a message send me a message about it or put it in one of the comment sections of one of the videos let me know if you have any ideas on how we should end how should I end my videos or maybe I should say hey if you really like this video and you really found it of value subscribe and also make sure you like this video and share it with your friends because we want to spread the love and we want to empower as many women as we possibly can and having relationships where they feel loved and where they're cherished and they're treated really really well and amazing by a man and where they feel that they are loved and they know it and they're getting a relationship that they actually deserve and so we're creating a movement here so thank you everybody thank you for being a part of this live stream thank you for allowing me to be on your journey and I will speak with you again soon that's my ending I'll speak with you again soon see you later