 Welcome to our special segment about how to dodge questions about your complicity in genocide. Are you a member of Congress who is tired of those pesky questions about your support for genocide? Sometimes you just want to relax without being bothered by those nagging questions about your moral compass. But fear not, we have listed here the top 10 tips on how you can avoid those uncomfortable inquiries like a pro. Tip number one. Report the weather instead. That would be called for a ceasefire in Gaza. It's a pretty day in Washington, DC. Do you support more weapons to Israel? It's actually a nice day. It's much warmer than you would think. Do you support more weapons to Israel? Really? This is a serious, serious issue. Really, really good. We're not asking for a weather. So close. Tip number two. Eat a smoothie. Ah, the classic smoothie distraction technique. Well, you're eating. Are you thinking about the people of Gaza who are starving? Tip number three. Pretend you're on the phone. Will you vote for... I'm on the phone. Sorry. Yeah, it's just a yes or no. I'm on the phone. Thank you. Will you say no to more weapons to Israel? Can I ask the reason for that? I'm sorry. I'm making a call. But, sir, there's a genocide occurring right now in 600,000 people. Hello? Can you hear me? I'm about to call. Oh. Tip number four. Have your staffer talk to you. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So that would be the concern. We can, you know, address it one of the two ways. Congressmen, if you call for a ceasefire in Gaza... There would be more of a conversation than you can have with them. Congressmen, if you call for a ceasefire... And then we can go for it. Congressmen, are you in favor of what goes to Israel during this time of a genocide? I think the next step will be for me to call. Hello? Tip number five. Act like you're deaf. Hi, congressman. I remember seeing you the other day. Are you going to call for a ceasefire in Gaza? Last time we talked, you didn't answer my question. Is there a reason that you're not willing to call for a ceasefire, given the genocide and the fact that Rafa is certainly not a safe zone? For a ceasefire? Where's been if you call for a ceasefire? Congressman, I'm down here. I'll be called for a ceasefire. That's a tradition. I figured I won't call for a ceasefire. Uh-oh. Congressman, are you... Is your hearing okay? Staff, your congressman's hearing. It's not well. A ceasefire. Are you in support of more money going to Israel? Am I here? Are you hearing me? Hello? Congressman, can you answer that? Congressman, how long before you're getting more genocide? Are you going to just ignore genocide and you're the public? Aren't you a public servant? Are your ears okay, sir? Tip number six. Pretend you need to go to the bathroom. Sorry, owning to the bathroom. Sorry. Hi everybody in the restroom. Tip number seven. You're late for a vote. Sorry, late for a vote. Late for a vote. I'm rushing to go to vote. You called for a ceasefire. I'm rushing to vote. Okay. I'm heading to it. Please. Congressman, why do you think you should send more money to Israel? You know, I don't have time right now. I'm sorry. I understand, sir, but it's very, very urgent. I'm just wondering if you would commit not to send any more weapons to Israel, given that it's breaking our own domestic law and that Israel is blocking humanitarian aid, which is a war crime. Again, I've got to commit here. I have to go to any... Tip number eight. Tell them to go to your website and read your statement online. Tell them to do their homework. Erin Gaza. You know what? I would recommend that you go and you look at my website. Can you just tell me if you've supported it? And how about weapons to Israel? Number nine. Pretend you're texting. Texting. But, oh, watch out about walking into a lamp post. Tip number 10. Ask them if they're a constituent or if they even know your name. Sir, could you please answer yes or no? Are you a member of the first district of Utah? You know, you represent the American people. Aren't you proud of what your position is? I'm very proud. Well, so what is the position? It doesn't matter. I'd ask your position. There you have it, folks. And when in doubt, just smile and keep walking. Thanks for watching and happy dodging.