 Saturday, it's the exciting new Plymouth. Right now, it's the Harold Perry show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes friends, Saturday is the big day. The day the thrilling new Plymouth comes to town. New beauty, you bet, from any angle. Outside, sweeping long lines. Inside, new styling, smart tailoring and color harmony. And talk about performance, man, there's never been anything like it. But literally, because Saturday, Plymouth introduces safety flow ride. Not just a minor improvement you might expect on any new model, but a spectacular engineering development. Plymouth safety flow ride means that now, you get a smooth ride on all kinds of roads. Yes, even the roughest, bumpiest roads you know. It's a brand new riding sensation you've got to experience to believe. So come on in Saturday to your nearby Plymouth dealers and arrange for a demonstration ride. Remember, Saturday's the day, Plymouth's the car. And now, Harold Perry as Honest Harold the Homemaker. Well, let's look in on the little town of Melrose Springs, home of that popular radio entertainer, Honest Harold the Homemaker. This is Harold's week to broadcast the 6 a.m. weather reports and for the second morning in a row, he has overslept. It is now 9 a.m. and we find our worried weather reporter plotting along on his way to the radio station. What a horrible day. Looks like it was up all night. Wonder what my dear boss, Stanley Peabody, will say. Yesterday threatened to fire me if I miss broadcasting the weather again. Who listens to weather reports at 6 o'clock in the morning? Just the chickens. They don't need the radio to tell them it's cold. I'd know enough to go in the coop if I had snow on my tail feathers. Good morning, Glory. Good morning, Harold. Mr. Peabody wants to see you in his office right away. Maybe he's going to fire me. And Gloria, how is Stanley this morning? Is he in a good mood? Well, when I saw him, he looked sour. Sour? Yes, he was drinking his yogurt. Oh my goodness. That was a little joke. It certainly was. See you later, Gloria. I hope. I'm not afraid of Stanley. Just let him try to fire me. I'll show that prissy pants. I'll walk right in his office. Look him right square in the eye. And I'll say, look here, you old... Hello, Stanley. It's you, hemp. Yeah, it's me. Well, don't just stand there. Come in. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Yes, sir. Well, hemp, you missed the weather reports this morning. Over-slept again, didn't you? Well, yes. You see, Stanley, I bought a new alarm clock and it plays chimes. When I heard it this morning, I thought it was Sunday, so I went back to sleep. Hemp, can't you think of a better excuse than that? Well, how do you like this one? The reason I was late... Never mind. Hemp, I've come to a decision about you. Oh, here it comes. I've been thinking it over for a long time. I wonder what time the employment office opens. Hemp, I'm leaving town in about an hour. I'll be back tomorrow morning. But while I'm gone, I'll have to put you in charge of the station. Ha! Hemp, close your mouth. Yes, sir. Well, so I'm going to be in charge of the station. Yes, but only because there's no one else available. That's why I have to pick a bungler like you. I hate him. Don't you worry, Stanley. I'll make things hump. First, I'll go down and talk to my sponsor, Mr. Turner, the Mattress Factory. I'll sell him another 15 minutes. Don't you dare talk to Mr. Turner. All I want you to do is sit here in my office and answer the phone. And remember, don't try to fill my shoes. There's only one Stanley Peabody. That's one too many. What's that, Hemp? I said, say hello to your Aunt Ginny. Have a nice trip, Stanley. Goodbye. I just can't believe it. I'm in charge of the whole radio station. All 250 watts. I look like a real executive when I walk in. Fresh shaved carnation, this blue suit. It's kind of shining in the back, but I'll be sitting down most of the time. Hey, I think I'll drop in the Marshall's office and see Pete, impressing with my new job. Well, hello, Pete, my good man. Oh, hello, Hera. Pete, you notice anything different about me? How's that? Take a good look at me. You got shaving soap in your ear, boy. No, Pete, I'm all dressed up. I'm going to be in charge of the radio station today. I'm a big executive. Oh, I see. You're one of them typhoons. I am not a typhoon. That's a big wind. That's right. Pete, I'm only kidding, boy. Well, hello, Doc. Hello, Pete. Well, hello, you old horse doctor. Well, hello, crooner. Ah, now, Doc, Harold ain't just a crooner now. He's manager of the radio station today. Oh, is that so, Harold? Yeah, that's right, Doc. I'm in complete charge down there. Mighty big responsibility, but I guess I can handle it. Complete charge, eh? Well, I suppose you could even hire entertainers if you wanted to. Oh, certainly. I know a wonderful act for you, Harold. Oh, who's that? Me and Pete. What? Yeah, we're singing duo. Yeah, boy. We call ourselves the three Andrew sisters minus one. Oh, my goodness. Come on, Maxine. Okay, Laverne. I was walking with my darlin' to the man that he was. Maxine, Laverne. This old friend is leaving. Goodbye. Gonna be a busy day. Well, here's Stanley's office. Oh, what am I knocking for? It's my office now. Well, might as well get behind the desk. Try Stanley's chair for size. Chair's very comfortable. It spins around too. This is fun. Oh, I'm getting chair sick. I wonder where Stanley keeps his cigars. Probably in this drawer here. Oh, yeah. Here's the little box. Just open the lid. Reach in. What's his note? Hemp, keep your sticky fingers out of my cigar. What a sneaky thing to do. Who's that? Come in. You're a big executive today. Oh, yeah. I've been exacting all over the place. Theodora, how'd you like to be my secretary? Well, I don't know, Harold. I can't type very fast. Oh, that's all right. My speed's about 10 kisses a minute. How about taking a little dictation right now? My, you look like a great big old lion behind that desk. I do. It's too bad you're not station manager all the time. It certainly is. That Peabody. He runs a station like a yogurt factory. I think you could run it much better, Curly Lasses. And I could too. Take my program, for instance. It's an hour long and only 15 minutes of it is sponsored by Turner's Mattress Factory. I bet I could sell Mr. Turner the whole hour, but Peabody won't let me go near him. Why, Harold, you're not afraid of Stanley Peabody, are you? Well, I thought you were a lion. You're the king of the jungle. I am? Say, you're right, Theodora. Why should I be afraid of Stanley? I'm going down and sell Turner right now. Theodora. You're so masterful. Theodora, come here and sit on my knee. Yes, sir. Now, kiss me. Yes, sir. How did my big executive like that? You know, Theodora, I was made for this job. Theodora's right. I'll show Peabody how to handle this. Must be Mr. Turner's office at the end of the hall. There's a door on it. He'd be pretty thrilled to see me. After all, I'm a star of his radio program. Come in. Mr. Turner, I'm Honest Harold, the homemaker. Oh, how do you do, Mr. Homemaker? No, no, no. My name is Himp. You must know me. You sponsor part of my radio program. Radio program? Yeah, you've been sponsoring me for five years. Oh, I do have a hazy recollection of that. Wow. He's hazy, all right. How do you like my program? Well, I haven't listened to radio for a long time. Since my crystal set broke down. Oh, brother. My favorite radio orchestras, the A&P Gypsies. They're going places. They've already gone. I haven't heard the street singer lately. What happened to him? I guess he's working another street. Too bad. Mr. Turner, I'm just wondering if you wouldn't like to sponsor the entire hour of my program. Well, I don't know, Mr. Himp. What kind of a program is it? Oh, it's really very good. I usually started off with a funny joke. A joke? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I like this one. Now, here's a funny one. Must have been wonderful back in the gay 90s. Those were the horse and buggy days. Grandma drove the horse and grandpa drove her buggy. What else do you do? Then I sing a little. Oh, I'm very glad you came in. Oh, that's all right. Glad to do it. You're going to take the whole hour? No, I think I'll give you back your 15 minutes. Mr. Turner, you're going to cancel my program? I'm sorry, Mr. Himp, but I'm afraid as far as radio is concerned, I'm through. So am I. Can I borrow one of your mattresses? I wonder where the A&P Gypsies are camping tonight. We'll return to the second act of our story, Honest Harold, in just a moment. Hey, what's all the excitement? The beautiful new Plymouth. It's coming to town Saturday and it's got everybody talking. Matter of fact, it's even got some people singing. You're out in your Plymouth and rolling along With safety for ride, you go rolling along Rolling along, rolling along your new Plymouth You can always drive on the feet and track The fact that they make you grumpy For the horror of truth is that once in a while You call to a row of them bumpy Just see the bumps, they look like this But ride inside, nothing's unless For your Plymouth goes rolling along, rolling along With safety for ride, you go rolling along, rolling along Yes, riding inside the new Plymouth Those bumps and dips might just as well not exist For thanks to safety flow ride, your new Plymouth Does go rolling along smoothly on all kinds of roads And this spectacular engineering development Is only one of many new features Plymouth is introducing So mark your calendar, tie a string around your finger Tell someone to remind you anything Just make sure you get into your Plymouth dealer Saturday To see the most exciting Plymouth ever built Your Plymouth goes rolling along And now, back to Honest Harold the Homemaker Well, Honest Harold's career as manager of the radio station Isn't turning out so well In one morning he has managed to lose the sponsor of his program And he has practically lost his job It's afternoon now and we find our unhappy executive at home Talking to his mother I'm through with the radio station, mother I might as well turn in my stopwatch Now, son, if you are fired, we'll get along Why, if necessary, I'll get a job I understand there's an opening at the laundromat Please, mother, I will support our little family Anyhow, Harold, you haven't been fired at the radio station yet Maybe you can think of another program that Mr. Turner would like No, mother, it wouldn't work I'm licked Harold, a man isn't out until they dragged him to his corner Mother, you've been sneaking out to the prize fights? No, but I saw one in a movie the other night One of the fighters reminded me of you He thought he was beaten, too For nine rounds he took an awful licking A right to the chin A leg to the nose Watch it, mother And then a smash to the stomach Where's the bellwood ring? But in the 10th round he came back He lifted an uppercut from the floor and knocked his opponent out for a count of 15 Mother, that's 10 Oh, oh, yes Now, remember, Harold, it's never too late to come back Maybe you're right, mother I will get another program for Turner That's the spirit, son And I'll be in your corner Okay, mother, I'll go out and win this fight You bring the prize, then I'll go out and win this fight You bring the smelling salts Turner-like Better get an idea pretty soon I'm wearing out the floor in this office Let's see Maybe a musical show would be good to advertise as mattress factory We could call it holiday for springs Yeah, I guess not Let me see Who's that? Come in Howdy, boy Pete Hello, ha Double trouble What are you two fellas doing down here? Came down to save your job, boy What? Your mother told us you're looking for a new radio program We got just the thing for you Oh, no Yeah, it's a mystery program A mystery program? Yep And it's real scary Oh Boo No, no, no, no Oh, look, this is all very nice of you guys, but I'm busy Oh, we wrote it ourselves, Harold But, folks Now, the first scene is an old English castle Pete plays the part of an English lord Kind of a high mucky muck High mucky muck Hi, Harold I'm supposed to be Lord Beaver Bottom Being added to the Certainly is And I play a sort of jackal and hide Hide at night Yep A hide in the daytime, too Now, look, fellas And that show opens on a stormy night Lord Beaver Bottom is sitting in his castle Pete, well, go on, Pete Oh, yes By Joe It is a dark and stormy night By Joe By Joe What was that? A noise By Joe I sound like Basil Rathbone That's what you think Then I climb in the window I'm crazy, Harold Now, listen to me, both of you I'm sorry, but your mystery program idea Is what I'm looking for, fellas Oh, well, we got another idea What? A musical act It features Arthur, my goat What? Yeah, he's right outside Come on in, Arthur Doc Come on, and I'll say hello to Harold, Arthur You get that goat out of here Oh, Harold Now you're gonna hurt his feelings Oh, he didn't mean it, Arthur Boy, he didn't mean it Ain't they cute together? I'd better open a window Now, you listen to this, Harold The three of us are gonna sing the thing The thing? Oh, no Okay, boys While I was walking down the beach When bright and sunny days No, look, I saw a great big wooden box Of floating in the bay I pulled it in and opened it up And much to my surprise Oh, I discovered a... Hey, hey, hey Right before my eyes I wish I was in the thing with the box Getting late Almost time to go home Still haven't got an idea Let me see What do they put in mattresses? Tufts Say, maybe I could get sunny tufts Oh, no Stanley will be back in the morning And I'll be looking for a new job Here it is Oh, Harold Yes, Harold Oh, Mr. Peabody's girlfriend is here What? Miss Abigail Turner? Yeah, she wants to know when Mr. Peabody's coming back Do you want to talk to her? I certainly do not, Gloria I got stuck with her in Stanley Peabody New Year's Eve in the moose room All she did all night was sing Well, the music goes round and round Brother, what a voice Tell her I'm out Oh, yes, sir She can't stay anyhow She's on her way to see her uncle Mr. Turner Did you say Mr. Turner is her uncle, Gloria? Yes, sir Gloria, I think I've got a great idea I wonder how Miss Turner would like to sing on the radio But Harold, you just said she had a terrible voice Yeah, but you just said Miss Turner was her uncle Oh My goodness, she got it Show it in, will you, Gloria? Yes, sir I can just talk her into this I'm sure Mr. Turner wouldn't mind sponsoring his niece Just hands Abigail, I haven't seen you since we had such a wonderful time at the New Year's Eve party Remember? Oh, yes, the music goes round Only an uncle would sponsor a voice like that Abigail, I'd like to put you on the radio Me? Yeah, I think a voice like yours should be plugged On the air, that is Oh, you're just saying that No, I'm not Why with your uncle, your talent Is the whole program around you Oh, well, I couldn't sing on the radio That microphone would scare me silly Too late for that Abigail, I think you have great possibilities as a singer Oh, you think I could be a Shantusi? I certainly do see In fact, Abigail, we can start your program this very night, eight o'clock We can cancel the horseshoe matches Tonight? Oh, I couldn't tonight I'm supposed to play canasta with my sister Canasta? Well, won't your sister let you out of it? Well I canasta We'll make it tonight for sure And just for the fun of it Why don't you ask your uncle, Mr. Turner to listen in, huh? Tell him to fix his crystal sack All right You better come down about seven with your music It's all right Oh, I'm going to be another hill to guard For doing this, but I gotta keep mother on a laundry mat Yasha, will you please quiet down the orchestra We're almost ready to go on the air Where is Abigail? There she is, spraying her throat Oop, listen to her Yes, Mr. Turner will like her She's his niece and blood is thicker than soprano Oh, my goodness Listen to that Paris and the spring is going to sound like winter in Peoria Maybe she won't sound so bad on Mr. Turner's crystal set You'll think he's got a defective cat's whisker It's about time to go Hello there Howdy, boy, bye, Joe What are you two fellas doing here in the studio? Well, we heard you were doing a program tonight Just thought you might want to use... No, fellas, I've got a program all set Oh, sure, bye, Joe Would you two please sit down over there and keep quiet? Come on, Pete, if Harold doesn't appreciate our talent, all right for him Time for the program Abigail, I'm coming Get your music ready, honey Oh, yes, all right Is this the thing I sing into? No, that's the air conditioner, but it's a great idea Your phone is over there There's a red light Abigail, get ready, we're going on the air Okay, hit it, Yasha Ladies and gentlemen, in place of the horseshoe tournament usually broadcast at this time as a public service Radio station KHJP proudly presents a new program, no sponsor yet Songs by Mr. Turner's niece I mean Abigail Turner will be Paris in the spring Okay, Abigail Start it over, music, okay, Yasha I brought this goat in here He's coming up here, Arthur, go away Get off the platform, you little ham Cough up that music Cough it up, doc What's the matter, Harry? Arthur, just a Paris in the spring Love's French food Harold, Pete and I will save the day Come on, Pete, I'm ready, boy, bye, Joe All right, Yasha, the thing from the coda Wait a minute I pulled it in and opened it up and much to my surprise Oh, I discovered it Right before my... Going into television The program turned out to be Now I've lost Mr. Turner for good I've lost my job for good too Just write Stanley a little farewell note and leave it here on his yogurt jar Tell him I've gone to New York to study Dianetics Oops, wonder if that's the thing Come in Hello, Mr. Hemp Oh, Mr. Turner, how do you do? I mean, goodbye I heard Abigail sing tonight You did? Well, I can explain everything, you see Mr. Hemp, I've decided to sponsor your program again On one condition What's that? That you never let my niece sing on your station again He's a nice girl, but after hearing a voice nobody could sleep And I don't know what to do With your voice, nobody could sleep And that's bad for the mattress business Of course, I guess you got a point there, all right And by the way, Mr. Hemp I'd rather enjoy that goat Oh, Lord Arthur? Yes, that goat has talent He's got something inside Yeah, Abigail's heat music Well, you and he might sing a duet sometimes like the happiness boys used to do Remember when they used to sing Carolina in the morning Hit it, Hemp Hit it? Oh, yeah, oh sure Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning Go into your dance, Turner Oh, right Nothing could be sweeter than your sweetie when you meet her in the morning Say this might bring back crystal sex Oh, in the morning glory Come on, around the door New outside New inside That's the story at your Plymouth dealers this Saturday, the story of the most exciting Plymouth ever built New outside An all new look from any angle Wide, low, graceful hood and grill work Flowing fender lines, greater vision New inside Smart, new styling and color harmonies that spell limousine luxury New ride Sensational safety flow ride The Plymouth engineering development that takes the bounce out of bumps makes you a better, safer driver because you drive relaxed free from tension Yes, new outside, new inside new ride That's the new Plymouth Say it Saturday at your Plymouth dealers Jessica Patrick, you know as the little goat Yes, Norman MacDonald directed and the music was composed and conducted by Jack Meakin Honest Herald created by Harold Perry was written by Gene Stone, Jack Robinson and Dick Powell The Harold Perry show has been brought to you by your Plymouth dealer Remember, you have a date at his Plymouth showroom this Saturday to see the most exciting Plymouth ever built. Saturday is the day Plymouth the car You're out in your Plymouth and rolling along With safety flow ride you go rolling along Roy Rowan speaking for CBS where you laugh at Jack Benny every Sunday night on the Columbia Broadcasting System