 The Jell-O program brought to you by Jell-O and Jell-O Pudding, starring Jack Benny, with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, Rochester, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with Call Out the Marine, and on Mars Day, when Grandma wanted to serve the folks a particularly fine dessert, the dessert she chose was pretty apt to be rich, shimmering Jell-O. And today, housewives still reach for that familiar red-lettered package. They still depend on Jell-O for their most tempting treats. Yes, Jell-O is now more than ever America's favorite Jell-Oton dessert, because Jell-O today is better than ever. That famous Jell-O flavor has a new vividness, a new thrill to it. It's now locked in, protected for your pleasure by a new and exclusive Jell-O process. A process that locks Jell-O's intriguing goodness right into the tiny Jell-O particles and gives you an exciting new richness and extra delicious flavor that will have you shouting hurrah for the first time you taste it. But why not prove all this for yourself? Open a package of Jell-O. Notice that there's no sweet fruity aroma, no sign of escaping flavor. Then dissolve the Jell-O just as you would in making a Jell-O dessert. And notice how the captive flavor rushes out marvelously rich. Ask your grocer for several packages of Jell-O tomorrow, and discover for yourself how Jell-O's new process makes Jell-O better than ever. Ladies and gentlemen, in as much as this evening marks the halfway point of our radio season, I think it only fair that we pay tribute to the man who has contributed his invaluable services to the Jell-O show, a man upon whose broad shoulders rest the burden of maintaining the high comedy level of this program. And here he is, folks, our sound effects man, Mr. Virgil Reimer. Hey, hey, what is this? Jell-O again, this is Virgil Reimer talking, and folks, I want to tell you this is the happiest day of my life. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute, what's going on here, Don? Well, Jack, I thought the public might be sort of tired of hearing me introduce you week after week. So for a switch, I thought I'd introduce one of the men behind the scenes. Oh, oh, you thought you'd pull a little surprise on your old boss, huh? And you certainly fell for it. I did, I did it that. Well, Don, I've got a little surprise for you too. Remember one day in New York when I was having lunch with Harry von Zell? Uh-huh. And you got all upset about it, and I told you not to worry. Yes? Well, knit your eyebrows, brother, the heat's on again. Now let's get going with the program. OK, Jell-O again, this is Virgil Reimer talking, and folks, a funny thing happened to me on the way to Virgil. Go away, William, stick to your sound effects. Oh, give him a chance, Jack. After all, I introduced him, so let him say a few words. Oh, all right, go ahead, Virgil, but make it snappy. Thanks, chum. Ladies and gentlemen, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the studio. I was walking down the street, and the traffic was something terrible. Oh, for Pete's sake. When all of a sudden, a hand handler walked up and asked me for a nickel for a cup of coffee, so I gave it to him. Oh, fine, now listen, Virgil. Just then, it started to rain. Rain? So wonder didn't thunder. Now cut that nickel, so what happened? It was a lead nickel, so he took out his gun and killed me. Virgil, now get up off the floor and go back to your clinks and clanks. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. What's a sound man doing on the floor? Virgil? No, he's just trying to be funny. Everybody working for NBC wants to be a comedian. Well, what's wrong with that? Give the kid a chance. Listen, Mary, comedians are born not made. Take me, for instance. I got the biggest laugh you ever heard when I was only three months old. What'd you do? Make off like a fan dancer with your diapers? You know, I used to stick my feet in my mouth and roll around like a rubber ball. I can go along with a gag, sister. Jack, you say comedians are born and not made. Now, did you get into show business as a comedian? No, no. As a matter of fact, Don, I started out as a concert violinist. You started out as a janitor at the Barrison Theater in Waukegan. As a janitor? Yes, I found an old picture of you and you were holding a broom. I was holding that broom because I was cast as a witch in a Halloween play. That takes care of the broom. Good. Now explain the dustpan. Well, you got me in a corner again. You know, someday I'd like to broadcast from a roundhouse. Hello, Phil. Hiya, Jackson. How's the old jet with the gray hair? He's fine. I just got a letter from my dad this morning. Phil means you. I know who he means. Anyway, thanks for asking, Phil. Phil, how are you coming along with your French lessons? Have you learned anything new? Oh, yes. How's our French scholar progressing? Well, remember last week how I learned to say, Gère, Manjet, La Finettra? Yes, you ate the window. Yes. Yes, I remember. Well, get a load of this one. Gère, Dormais, Don, La, Ancrière. Very good. Very good, Phil. What does that mean? I sleep in the inkwell. What are you talking about? You sleep in the inkwell. He must have had a fight with Alice. Look, Phil, as long as you're studying French, why don't you learn something that makes sense? Jackson, it's a tough language. I gotta take it any way I can get it. All right, sleep in the inkwell. Eat the window. It's your life. All I ask is that you don't show off when Humphrey Bogard gets here. Humphrey Bogard? Is he going to be on the program tonight? Yes, we're going to finish the murder mystery we started last week. And Bogard has had a lot of experience along that line and picture, so I thought he'd be just the right guy for my assistant. Let me get this straight. Humphrey Bogard is going to be your assistant? Yes, that is he's going to be one of my assistants. Phil will be my first assistant, and Bogard will help Phil. It'll work out fine. Now, Dennis... Yes, please? Hmm. You, of course, are going to be the murdered man, and you'll have to lay on the floor again tonight. I figured on that, so I wore my old clothes. You can't wear old clothes. You're supposed to be Mr. Homer J. Frightwig, a wealthy stockbroker. Have you seen the market reports lately? That's not the point. Anyway, take this carnation and put it in your buttonhole so you'll look a little more convincing. And here's another thing. I'll tell you, Jack, he's here. Who? Who's here? Well, hello, Humphrey. Hello, Jack. Glad to see you. Ladies and gentlemen, that star of Warner Brothers' pictures, Mr. Humphrey Bogard. Well, Humphrey, it's darn nice of you to come over here tonight and help us solve our little murder mystery. I'm glad to do it, Jack. I heard you play last week, and I figured somebody should do something about it. Good, good. Say, Humphrey, we'll start casting in a minute, but, uh, first, I want you to meet the members of my gang. This great big fellow here is Don Wilson. There's a pleasure, Don. Put her there, Humphrey. Ow! Watch out, Don. He's as strong as a 3-cent cigar. You ought to know. Quiet. And, Humphrey, this is Mary Livingston, our little comedian. Say something funny for Mr. Bogard, Mary. Oh, shut up. Well, shake hands with him, anyway. Okay. Glad to know you, Miss Livingston. Put her there. Ouch! And this is Dennis Day, our young tenor, and Phil Harris, our musical genius. Hi, fellas. Bon Swire, come on, telly-boo, Humphrey. I took my girl to see you all through the night, and did you make a hit with her? Did you make a hit? Oh, she kind of liked me, eh, kid? Well, she talks out of the side of her mouth now, if that means anything. Real hero worship. I guess we can get started with the casting, Humphrey. Say, where's Rochester? I'd like to see him. Oh, he won't be with us tonight, Humphrey. He has a cold. He'll be all right next week, though. He's got the strongest cough medicine. Well, uh, let's get started. You've met everybody. What about me? Am I an old shoe or something? Believe me, Virgil, he's not interested in meeting you. But if it'll make you happy, all right. Humphrey, this is Virgil Reimer, our great sound man. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Reimer. I've admired your work on this program for a long time. You see? Okay, okay. Now, let's get on with our sketch. This evening, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to present the second episode of our mystery melodrama, the Frightwig murder case, or that rug will have to go to the cleaners. Now, Dennis Day will be Mr. Frightwig, the victim. Howdy, folks. Lay down. Mary will be his wife, who misses him now, but didn't when she shot him. And Don... Yes, Jack? You're going to be Juergen the butler. Only this week, I wish it'd be a little more highbrow. Can you talk with an English accent? Well, I'll try. Good. Ladies and gentlemen, the next time you toddle down to your neighborhood grocer, why don't you ask the clerk for a pachage of jello? Pachage? You will find that it comes in six terribly divine flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and pip pip. And if it were for the fact that you were talking about our product, I'd say that your accent was about as English as Sambo and Tambo, you know? Now, where are we? Oh, yes. I, of course, will play the part of Detective Captain O'Benny of police headquarters. Phil Harris will be my assistant. And Mr. Humphrey Bogart will be Phil's assistant. Now, in this drama... Just a minute, Jack. Hold it. Would you mind repeating that? Well, certainly. I said, uh... I'll be Detective Captain O'Benny. Phil will be my assistant. And you'll be Phil's assistant. Oh, I see. Yeah, well, I'd like to speak to you about that. Uh-uh. What are you on about? Why, what's, uh... What's on your mind, Humphrey? Well, frankly, I don't like the idea of being Phil's assistant. Well, all right. And you can be my assistant, and Phil can be yours. Now, in this drama... Just a second, Blue Eyes. Thank you. Um, what, uh... What is it, Humphrey? Now, let's get this straight. Here's the way it's gonna be, see? I'm the captain. Phil's gonna be my assistant. And you're gonna be his assistant. But, uh, but Humphrey... Now, look, I don't want any trouble. I'm a nice, easy-going guy, but I didn't come over here to get kicked around. Well, who kicked you? Did you kick him, Dennis? Did you kick him, Don? You know what I mean. I'm gonna be the captain, and that's final. All right, all right. And you don't have to grab my coat while you're talking tonight. Now, let go. And another thing, Mr. Bogart, I'm paying you for being here on this program tonight so you can be a little more civil. Oh, are you gonna pay me? Yeah. Well, I'm not exactly paying you in cash, but I was going to send you a lovely present. A fountain pen or... or something. Now, you send me a fountain pen. I'll squid it right in your eye. Oh, Jack, let him be the captain. What else can I do? Got a good mind to punch him right in the nose. Well, why don't you? Because he's carrying a gun. He's what? A gag. He's packing a gag. Well, anyway, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Humphrey Bogart will play the part of Detective Captain O'Benney. I want my own name. All right, shall be O'Bogart. And Phil, I will be your assistant. Are you happy? Yes. Well, then let go of me. How many times do I have to tell you? Exciting drama, ladies and gentlemen. We'll go on immediately after a number by Phil Harris and his orchestra. Play, Phil. Here's my part, Humphrey. Get familiar with it. I'd like to get rid of Bogart. What was that? What did you say? I said when I was a kid, I had a go-kart. Cross, I'd tear him to pieces. Not a vein yet. Don't worry. Now settle down, everybody. Let me announce our play. Pardon me, Jack. I'm announcing it. All right, announce it. Examine for inviting him over here. And will you cut out that mumbling? Listen, I've been talking to myself for 20 years. I'm not going to stop now. Announce the play. Humphrey. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to offer the second episode of our mystery melodrama entitled The Frightwig Murder Case for All Through Tonight. I had to give his new picture a plug. I like the picture, though, but what I could have done with his part, boy. Jack, pipe down. Oh, puff. Now, as you may remember last week, Mr. Homer J. Frightwig was found murdered in his den. He was shot several times. In fact, his chest looked like a well-patronized punch board. Boy, I'd have gotten a yell with that line. A yell. They'd have screamed at me. Burnt up. Humphrey, a gangster. Captain O'Benney was called into the case but was unable to make any headway. So this week, I will solve the crime. I'll bet. Go ahead, you thug. As the scene opens, we find Detective Captain O'Bogart and his two assistants... Had to make a mistake. Had to make a mistake. Captain O'Bogart and his two assistants. Yeah. Well, Sergeant O'Harris. Yes, Captain? What's new on the Fenchel robbery? Did you find out if the chauffeur had anything to do with it? Well, it couldn't have been the chauffeur. Cap, he had an airtight alibi. Alibis, alibis. This is the third month of the investigation. And we're no further than we were when we started. Something has got to be done. I tell you, I want action. Do you understand? Action. Yes, sir. Not scaring me. I can tell you that. Alishin, O'Harris. What makes you think the chauffeur is innocent? Well, at the time of the robbery, he was out of town. We traced him as far as Altoona, Pennsylvania. Altoona, eh? Boy, what a hit I used to be in that town. Stopped the show every night. Well, what happened after he left Altoona? Well, we traced him as far as Chicago, and then we lost track of him till last week when he turned up in Los Angeles with a blonde. With a blonde, eh? Shut up. All right, but if you ask me, there's a phone. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. All right, take it. Such a little guy. I can't understand why I don't slug him. You're a coward. Oh, yes. Hello, police headquarters. Captain Obogar speaking. Hello, bogey. This is Mrs. Homer J. Frightwig. Oh, yes, yes. What is it, Mrs. Frightwig? Listen, Capy, why don't you come over and investigate my husband's murder? It's no use. I can't find any clues. Well, drop in anyway. It's a rainy afternoon. Come on over. OK, madam. Well, I'm going to find out who killed your husband. Well, if you're real nice, I'll tell you. Come on over. Yes, ma'am. I'll be there in a few minutes. Well, bring some olives. I've got the toothpicks. So long. So long. Who was it, Cap? Yeah, who was it? The fine part I've got. Wish I had my vial in with me. Well, who was it? That was Mrs. Homer J. Frightwig. Come on, men. We're going over to her house right away. And I'm going to solve this crime. Oh, my name ain't Dobogar. Soon we'll be walking. This is the place, all right. Break the door down, old Benny. Yes, sir. Stand back. Open this door. I'll break it forward. Jill, break down the door. I won't hear a single splitter until you apologize. This guy's the butler, Cap. I know who he is. Now listen, you. Where's the body? That ain't a bearskin rug grinning at you. Hmm. That's Mr. Frightwig, all right. And he's laying there just the way he was shot. Oh, for goodness' sake. I've been anything he paints. What was that? Come on, Humphrey. Find out who done it. Just a minute, ma'am. Who are you? I am Fifi, the French maid. Oh, yeah? Now listen, Fifi. My name is Fifi. Well, I'm in a hurry. Sit down, will you? Say, let me talk to her, Cap. I speak the language very fluent. Fluent? Listen, Fifi, what do you know about this murder? Je suis seulement la bonne, ici. Et naturellement, je ne l'ai pas commis. Oui, oui. Je suis dans ce pays que fort, peu de temps. Et je ne connais pas beaucoup de monde. Je me n'ai envie solitaire. Oui, oui. J'aimerais bien un rendez-vous avec un américain. Vous vous me rencontrez des connerces et un western at eight o'clock. What'd she say, Harris? I don't know, but I'll be there. Just have a friend. Fine policeman. Why'd he go on with the case and grill Mrs. Frightwig? Where is she? Here she comes now! Good evening, gents. Pull up my husband and sit down. Now listen, Mrs. Frightwig. You keep out of this. I'll see if I can find some clues. Now tell me, Mrs. Frightwig, what do you know about this murder? Grill me, Cap. Grill me. What's on your mind? Now I want the truth. Did you shoot your husband? Couldn't have been cupid. There's no arrows in him. I don't believe you killed him, Mrs. Frightwig. And we're going to stay right in this house until we find out who committed the crime. Okay, boys. How do you like your eggs? Say, Cap, Cap, I just heard a noise in that closet. A noise? Yeah, there's somebody hiding in there. It might be the murderer. Let me have your gun. I didn't bring it with me. Here, take mine. Now thanks. Now listen, you. We know you're in that closet, so come out and come out with your hands up. Come out. Do you hear? What were you doing in that closet, old Benny? I'll tell you what I was doing there. I can't keep it a secret any longer. I committed that crime. I murdered Mr. Homer J. Frightwig. What are you talking about? I killed him, I tell you. Killed him, killed him. He was a dirty rat and he had it coming to him. And I'm glad I did it. I tell you. Kind you. Just trying to build up your part. I... Take me to jail. What are you waiting for? What a ham. Come on, Mrs. Frightwig. Let you and I go out and have a cup of coffee. Okay, Cap. I'm going with you. No, no, you can't go until you arrest me. I'm a killer. And I also committed... I'll be darned. Hey, where do they go? They went out for some coffee, Mr. Frightwig. Oh. That stupid bow guard doesn't believe I killed you. Well, that's the way it goes. Yeah. Say, do you play gin rummy? Sure. Well, lay down and start dealing. Okay, hit it, boys. Serve this grand dessert. Imperial peach mold, a swell, jello treat that's bound to win you compliments galore. Yet a treat that's delightfully easy to make. All you do is simply dissolve one package of orange jello in one pint of hot water in peach juice and chill until slightly thickened. Next, fold in one cup of canned sliced peaches drained, or if you wish, a box of quick frozen sliced peaches, freshly thawed, then mold and chill until firm. And there's a mighty attractive, mighty good dessert, delicious blend of juicy golden sliced peaches and bright shimmering orange jello. So get a can of sliced peaches or a box of quick frozen sliced peaches from your grocer tomorrow and combine them with orange jello for a really delightful treat. But be sure you get genuine jello, friends, because jello's new locked-in flavor gives you extra richness, makes jello more tempting and delicious than ever. Last number of the 18th program in the Courage Jello series, and we will be with you again next Sunday at the same time. Well, Humphrey, thanks very much for coming up here tonight. You kind of took over the program, didn't you? I did it that. No hard feelings, Jack. No, no, no, you were very amusing. Take him out in the alley and give him a couple of pokes. What was... what was that? I said, good night, folks. I always say that. Good night, folks. Brother's picture. The tune caught out the Marines is from the picture of the same day. Jello puddings, please. Just say that to your grocer tomorrow, friends, and see if you don't make the acquaintance of some of the swellest desserts you ever tasted. Jello puddings, rich, creamy puddings made by the same folks who make jello. There's jello vanilla pudding, smooth, mellow, and thrillingly rich, tops for delicate, tempting flavor, and not only grand as a pudding, but perfect as a creamy filling for pies, tarts, and cakes. So tomorrow, when you order jello, get jello puddings, too. They're just like grandmas, only more so. The jello program came to you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company. K-F-I, Los Angeles.