 This tiktoker is going viral for this seven second clip talking about how toxic Asian friend groups can be. Man, but who is he really talking about? Yeah, we're talking about this viral tiktok video from this kid Per Slayden. And are we talking about it got 250,000 likes on tiktok? Let's run the clip. Hey, I mean, literally it was almost like a tweet or just like a sentence, but it clearly resonated with people. Not even a lot of people are mentioning his insightful caption just because most of y'all are like y'all's parents, toxic gossipers and rude. Andrew, why do you think this went so viral? Because clearly this is touching a lot of people even though he had a simplistic sentence. I will say because I think a lot of people commenting who are sharing this video are in the Gen Z territory probably between the ages of 16 and 22. And I will say this that I think a lot of the comments are coming from highly Asian populated areas where there's enough Asians to be toxic. And I think you need a high amount of Asians to see a lot of toxic Asians to be honest, right? Right. So make sure you like, subscribe, turn on your notifications silly to serious. Andrew, I'm going to go ahead and put this in the silly category because it's tiktok. But I guess just like community dynamics are serious. Like tiktok is the best place to make a quick video and spark crazy discussion with no context. I'm 17 and everybody's 15 commenting on my intellectual thoughts as a 17 year old. But of course, I mean, I think this guy did a good job. Shout out to per Sladen. I mean, I think I have to see a lot of comments about K-pop, Boba, Valorant, Raves, Keshi, Andrew. I saw the two groups that got pointed out the most as potentially toxic were Korean on the East Asian end and Filipino on the Southeast Asian end, as well as Vietnamese. Is it different if you're around what upper middle class Taiwanese kids and Roland Heights and Diamond Bar is it different? I don't know. I mean, there's a lot of nuance in this, right? Because it has to do with personal experiences. And first of all, everybody likes pointing out how everything is so toxic nowadays. Is it really toxic? I mean, listen, so the truth of it is that I think amongst a very hyper like, let's say most of the friend group is Korean, right? And you happen to be the one non Korean person, maybe you're Filipino, Vietnamese or even Chinese, right? So you're a little bit of the outsider you may feel like, and I could see that you're more likely to think that that friend group is toxic. Now, if you're a mixed group of friends and you're united by something else rather than just being one type of Asian, you know what I mean? Like let's say it's a mixed group of friends, but you're all united by basketball or just gaming, right? You're probably less likely to be toxic. Yeah. And I think that that's where the discussion was in the comments section, because I know that growing up in South Seattle, Andrew, there was a lot of different Asians that would hang out together and everybody was in a sneakers and basketball. But I would say the type of Asian that everybody was was not generally that big of a deal because almost the bonding agent was sneakers and basketball. And that sort of transcended anybody's sort of like micro heritage culture. Yeah. And I do want to point out that in any friend group of a big enough amount, especially when you're young, there's definitely ranking and hierarchy. Like if you are, there's only like 40 Asians at your school of that friend group, you they might like, there's going to be some ranking of like who's the most accepted Asian, the coolest Asian, the best looking, blah, blah, blah. But is this any different than any other racial group system? For example, Andrew, in the white world, there have been movies like clueless and mean girls and they continue to make it off these like, you know, in girl, out girl, popular girl, unpopular girl tropes forever, right? I think, and we're going to get in the comment section soon, but I think it's largely because a lot of other Asians feel stuck in their friend group that might rank them low because they don't have that many other options. Maybe that's the only Asian friend group at school, or because like if you're white, you probably have like other white groups you can join. This is America, you know, and things like that. So as an Asian, you might just feel locked in and I think that's part of the pain. Yeah. Anyway, guys, like again, make sure you like, subscribe, turn on your notifications. Andrew Wong Fu actually made a piece about this five years ago is called in between. I do think a lot of the kids on TikTok right now were like 11 when that came out. So they might not have had enough life experiences to relate to it, but everybody needs everything catered for that generation. Andrew, somebody said the toxic Asian grade school friend group to soror- Asian sorority frat pipeline is so developed. That was a funny comment. You know, and I think you have to, again, live in a highly Asian area, like I know in New York City, I think there's definitely some of that because a lot of Asians from the city end up going to like the Sunnis, which is like the state schools, or in SoCal, of course, or California in general, this is this is also very common. Somebody said I'm South Asian and I feel like I don't fit in anywhere because I look different, especially the East Asian circles. They're so mean, by the way, I'm Southeast Asian. As somebody who was the only Southeast Asian in a group of East Asians, it was very interesting. And people just got straight into it. Like I said, they're going, talking about the inter-Asian group. I know. I'm glad people are pointing it out. And I think that those are real dynamics. I think that again, though, like I said, like if you're in a young friend group and you're a friend group is mostly defined by the people around you and your environment, right? You didn't go to college yet, when it's more diverse, you didn't get to pick and choose in your adult life. If you're a teenager, yes, your friends are just the people that you're around. So then you may feel this way for sure. Interestingly enough, Andrew, me and you were the only East Asians among Southeast Asians growing up. So we almost have the reverse thing. But yeah, I'll say this as a general generality. I do think that East Asian groups tend to be more hierarchical because East Asian culture might be more hierarchical. Oh, it's definitely more judgy. Yeah, on average, on average. Somebody said, when the deepest discussions go as far as Boba, K-pop and food, I know that is no longer worth my time. Somebody said, what about Valorant and Keshi? And someone said, Oh my gosh, you must be in California. Yeah. No, I think David, the St. Gabriel Valley and maybe the OC is very, very guilty of this, of just talking about raves and Boba lists. Amongst a certain crowd though, amongst a certain crowd. Yeah, I'm not every 100% of Asians, but I've been at the boba shop talking about something else. And then to the side and to the back of me, I'm only hearing conversations about basically raves and Boba while at the boba shop. It sounds ridiculous to me, but that's where a lot of Asians are at. Yeah, I think that you know what you're referring to, Andrew, is the cool Asians that have all the magnetism and eyes on them in the school. They're talking about Boba and raves. You know what I mean? It's not that there's not Asians that are into like filmmaking or like hipster things or like vintage items, but they just in an all Asian high school environment, they're not going to be exalted to a place where like all eyes on me. Somebody said, I feel like Koreans and Filipinos are the most exclusionary Asian groups, but in different ways. You know what's interesting enough about this? I could actually like, I could see this as a valid observation. Yeah. Those are your two Christian Asians, the most like the ones the hottest in the streets, ones the hottest in a chic way. You know, that's more like Korean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, uh, those are the two and I would say they, they definitely have the most bond between the two, probably the most. What do you mean? No, I meant like amongst Filipinos, they're very much like, yo, Filipinos are cool, blah, blah, blah, we're like the mixed Asian kind of like the crossover. And then Koreans are like, oh, we'd like the top Asian, you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm not saying anybody on TikTok wants to discuss this, Andrew. How much is it? Because those are essentially neo American colonies to some extent. Well, I think that's, I think it's a tribute to why they're cool. You know, I think that makes you cool too. I'll be honest, the Chinese American group, probably the Chinese American group, probably the least judgmental overall, like the most open, maybe also the groups that I'm not saying for sure that, that the group that other Asians least want to get into. I'm just saying, man, they're not going to gossip and gossip, they're not going to gossip with the sea. Anyway, somebody said, I get made fun of for having monolids as if their ancestors don't have them like boy, this was a, from a Cambodian girl who was mostly friends with Filipino girls. So she's saying that she gets made fun of for having monolids in a group of people without monolids. And I, we just read a comment previously, Andrew, where it's almost like the Southeast Asian felt excluded from the East Asian group probably for having double eyelids. So it goes to show you the dominant group is outsideing whoever's not fitting in with that, that dominant look, right? You know what's really interesting? I could see that like, if you're a Southeast Asian with monolids in a group of East Asians who have all tried or gotten the surgery to get the double eyelids or we're born with it. Yeah. Or we're born with it. Then in a way they're going to almost, it's funny because that's a feature that is very, very East Asian in Asian in general, but then like they turned away from it and now we're making fun of you for not having it, but it's not necessarily because it's not, it's so dude, this is, it goes deep man. I mean, long story short, if you really want me to get into the peel back to onion layers, I'm not saying the TikTok kids want to hear this. I would say that like Korean groups, they value really value being Korean and Filipino groups. They really value the ability to blend in with Western society, specifically pop culture. That's my general takeaway. Somebody said the truth is it's actually either really toxic or really healthy. And someone said, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like Asian friend groups are actually either really sweet or really judgmental. So some people were basically saying it's actually really more of a hot or cold equation. I do think that this guy per slate and Andrew was more referring to the cool party crowd. You know what I mean? That goes to like, you know, Brooklyn Mirage on the West Coast goes to, you know, EDM shows. There's some cool party crowds that are more mixed. And I think that's cool and less judgmental. But I'll say this about cool people or people who try to be cool. You have to understand when everybody's trying to be cool, that feels like there's more at stake. So therefore, there is going to be more hierarchy and more judgment because everybody's trying to be cool. Everybody's trying to be something that is difficult, right? Versus if everybody's being, to be honest, like a geek. You mean a church or something like that? Yeah, or at church, it should be less judgmental. And you should be able to mix more because you're united by being a geek. But when you're saying there's way less power rankings in circles that don't tend to care as much about having power. Yes. Yeah, that makes sense. When there's a scepter of power to be had, and people get a little bit nasty. No, when there's like that ring, the Lord of the Ring. My precious, I need the ring because the ring is so powerful. Everybody's going for the ring. So is the preciousness clout, coolness, ability to go viral coast to coast? No, yeah, definitely. It is attention from women, men, whatever. I mean, whatever the golden, whatever the Lord of the Ring is ring, the elder, what is that called? I don't know the name of that ring. The Elden? Somebody said every single Asian friend group I've met is either super mean and everybody in that friend group like doesn't even like each other. I think that's because this friend group must be in an area where there's not a lot of Asians. That's what I think. If there's a lot of other Asians, there's other friend groups to go to. Somebody said the way they be competing against each other in their minds is crazy. I'm specifically referring to girl clicks. Someone said literally with grades two, and somebody said no, that's only East Asians. And somebody said, I'm v it. And two girls hated me because I knew more people than them in the business sector. Yeah. Well, it goes to show you like business people, Andrew, they might more value business connections because that's the way their mind is wired. And if your parents are super academic or pushed out on you, that's your value system. So you get competitive about grades or who could catch the fade or who knows the best people with the business world. Yeah, I just think there's toxic people of every race. There is toxic people of every race. Let's just be honest. Yeah, somebody said you just got to find the non-toxic ones. Like we said, of course, everything is a chat plat, a plot chart distribution. You're going to see everything across the spectrum. Somebody says, I never fit in. They're always either nerdy cosplay girls or ABG girls. I'm neither. Somebody's, you know, we're talking about that. It was so hard to fit in. Everybody was extremely Catholic. They were referring to going to a Filipino private school. And somebody was saying, I think it's because Asians are not allowed to be high schoolers in high school, because they're always worried about their grades and how to go to the best college. And then it gets really toxic and competitive because people think that other people are not going to do as good in life or it'd be a successful. So they got to leave those friends behind. And it's just a type of ranking that your average like, let's just say white American doesn't do. I'm going to bring up this question, David. Do you think that Gen Z Asian friend groups are possibly more toxic than millennial Asian friend groups? And I asked this because if you're a millennial Asian friend group growing up in a non-Asian area, you're just happy to have other Asian friends and you guys are united over other things. Maybe you're united around white culture. Maybe you're united around more black culture. Maybe you're one of the two heritage cultures. You're united even around Hispanic culture in certain states, right? But then Gen Z because they have enough of this Asian American culture, this new Asian culture that they're like all just just using the Asian hierarchy rankings. Yeah, I would say this. I think that in modern day 2023, Gen Z's are more growing up in something that would mimic a third culture kid from like Shanghai's American school or Seoul American school or then anything that the millennials went through. Or everything's like mimicking the way SoCal friend groups have been for like 20, 30 years. But now there's more. A lot more Asians dispersed in like other pockets like Seattle, for example, is way more Asian than it used to be. So it's almost like everything's been SoCalized or Bay Areaized. That's how I would describe it. SoCal. So toxic. All right. So, Andrew, two people are going to end on this. Andrew pointed out exceptions to this. Somebody said, we got different types of Asians in my friend group, South Asian, Southeast Asian and East Asian, and we're actually chill and mostly queer. So that's their chemical bonding agent. United by a different identity, for sure. And somebody said, I feel like this is just an anomaly because like Asian friend groups in Hawaii are all chill AF. Like we're not even toxic like that at all. Do you think that's because they're Hawaiian? Most people in Hawaii statistically are like fourth, fifth generation. They're like not on this power rankings that are so competitive and caddy and sassy. What did you say David toxicity is just really related to your value system? Like it's just what you grow up valuing. So if your parents are very caddy, gossipy, and clicky, and then you have a friend group, you're going to run that friend group like how your parents run their friend groups. Like you're going to be kind of some reflection of your parents, especially in a very Asian area, right? You're going to be programmed essentially by the building. They're the programming you and you're the chat. Yeah, I wouldn't say our parents are toxic at all really in like the whole gossiping way. Like that's not what they did. I don't, we don't really gossip amongst our friends. That's not what we do. Yeah. Yeah. So I, a lot of it is how you're raised by your parents and your value system. Now if your parents partied, which some parents did because listen, if you're 17 right now easily, your parents are like 40 years old, 45 years old. They are different generation. They might have raved maybe it's possible. Yeah. Yeah. Like you said, I think anyway, let's just get into our takeaways. Andrew, I think that the reason why this went so viral is because it provided a platform per slate and provided this blank slate where everybody, it was very vague because he just had like a sentence or two, you know what I mean? And it allowed everybody to sort of like say their piece, you know, because some of these people, they might not feel comfortable saying it to their friend group in middle school or high school, but they're going to feel comfortable airing it out on Instagram. You know what I mean? Because they stuck in their world. Like you said, when you're zero or 17, you don't really get to make any decisions about the fish bowls you're put into. That's just your cat, your locality, your school district, etc. etc. So yeah, you're saying that a lot of people might be too shy or scared to bring this up in the friend group. So they're using this TikTok event. Yeah. It's almost like everybody's like beating each other's therapist, but you're 14 and I'm 16. So you can respond to my post because I'm 16. I'm older than you. I've been through more and you go, Oh, I'm starting to see the bird's eye more and more. I will disagree that I think there's therapy going on. I think it's therapeutic to post it on TikTok. I don't think there's any therapist in the comment section but I will say it could be beneficial to discuss it with other people, I suppose. So I do think here's how I would describe a lot of friend groups though. A lot of Asian friend groups in America. It's kind of like this weird mixture of like being an immigrant, being tribal, carrying over that Asian hierarchy, you know, and then also mixing in other non-Asian cultures because you're still in America. So it's like this, it is, it is this weird mixture because like in an Asian friend group, it could be some East Asians and could be some people who are born in Asia. Some are more Asian than others. Some are more American than others. Some are more Southeast Asian, South Asian than East Asian. Some are more East Asian. You know what I mean? Some come from different things. You're saying every friend group is different? It's just every friend group is different. So you have this weird mishmash. So you have all these different experiences. I don't think I've ever really been a part of any toxic Asian friend groups. You've seen them though. I know of them but I like because I think we're all bonded by like either being successful bros or you're bonded by not like certain other cultures that you're into or you're bonded by like being all pro-Asian and like, you know, being in pro-Asian entertainment circles kind of like from LA. So it's like, I feel like those circles are just less toxic. You know what I mean? Right, right, right. It's more, you're saying that there's a transcendent mission rather than recreating the social groups that you, you witnessed the older generation. Yeah, I think if you're just recreating a group just to have fun, it could be easily toxic because your whole goal is just to have fun. Anybody who's not making it fun or is messing up the vibe then, then you're going to discriminate. To be honest too, man, people like toxicity. You know why? Because toxicity fills up the schedule and it fills up the talking points that everybody has like, you know, like two people together. They might not even have any like larger interests about how to change the world or impact the world or their own lives or the lives of their family. Let's just talk about the toxic interpersonal pings that our group is having. Yeah man, you let us know in the comments down below if you guys like toxicity at all. Why are people discussing this TikTok? Who does it apply to? Does it apply to your friend group or have you seen this friend group happen in real life? I've definitely witnessed it. Gladly, thankfully, I've never been a part of it but you know, I don't know. Also, the standard for toxicity is also different with Gen Z. They like calling everything toxic while maybe we did experience some toxicity back in the day but we just didn't call it that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just called it growing up. We just called it being from an immigrant community. Yeah. And like we said, you know, the clannishness, the second generation immigrantiness that's, you know, passed down whether your first gen, 1.5 second gen, 2.5 gen. I don't know. The whole definition of toxicity, Andrew, actually has to do with power dynamics and being manipulative. Like, you know, are Asian parents inherently more toxic because they try to manipulate and guide your life more than white parents do? Yes and no, because sometimes you get more controlled outcomes too. You get less kids doing wild stuff and lives, you know, going way off the beaten path, you know? I will say this. I think Asian friend groups or friend groups in general that are mixed race probably on average are less toxic because there's just different perspectives to kind of round each other out. That makes sense. No one group gets to be too dominant and then dominance leads to power power leads to manipulation. Less group think. Less group think. Let us know what you guys think in the comments section below. Why did Persladen's thing go so unbelievably hyper viral with just a sentence? What's your experience? Were your Asian friend groups toxic, not toxic? What have you seen? Let us know. Until next time, we're the Hop Hop Boys. We out. Peace.